The Primate Rap

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Lyrics:
Start with the strepsirrhines and the haplorrhines
Way back in time during the Paleogene
Two groups diverged and we base it on the nose
If it’s wet than its strep if it’s dry than it’s haplose
Lemurs, lorises, and galagoes
Those are the strepsirrhines and this how you knows
Postorbital bar
Big ‘ol snout,
Unfused mandible
Now everybody shout:
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and tarsiers!)
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and galagoes!)
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and lorises!)
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and you!)
Within the haplorrhines are the catarrhines and the
Platyrrhines - what’s the difference this time?
The platyrrhines are the New World monkey
You’ll find them hanging out in a South American country
They got a flat nose with sideways nostrils
Split 40 million years ago you can tell from the fossils
They have three premolars that’s their dental style
Some move through the trees with their tails prehensile
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and tarsiers!)
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and galagoes!)
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and lorises!)
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and you!)
The catarrhines are Old World monkeys and apes
The differences come down to the shapes
Apes don’t have a tail but Old World monkeys do
Some apes enjoy to throw their poo
Not bilophodont apes are Y5 in the molar
They got greater flexibility in the shoulder
Chimps, gorillas, orangs, and gibbons too
Those are the apes and so are you
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and tarsiers!)
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and galagoes!)
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and lorises!)
We are primates, lemurs monkeys and apes (and you!)
Images from Wikimedia Commons and:
Fleagle, John G. Primate adaptation and evolution. Academic press, 2013.
Lindenfors, Patrik, and Birgitta S. Tullberg. "Phylogenetic analyses of primate size evolution: the consequences of sexual selection." Biological Journal of the Linnean Society 64, no. 4 (1998): 413-447.
Martin, Robert D. "Primates." Current Biology 22, no. 18 (2012): R785-R790.

[@aleanbh3808]

Love the way you did this. Never mind about tarsiers, you did make it clear they’re not strepsirrhines!

[@PoopyArchaeology]

Thanks! And yeah I finished up and was like 'oh no I forgot the tarsiers!'

[@sebastianmarshall5188]

quality banger!

[@marthadiaz6169]

Love it!

[@jfu5222]

Nicely done, you big ape.

[@cygardner5252]

Wow! This is my favorite educational primate-related song. I really liked all of the factual evidence you put in it wa great! Maybe you should write a book with all the facts from your monkey song (You might have more monkey songs I just need to go check out your channel which I will soon I promise!)

[@PoopyArchaeology]

I'm glad this is a quality monkey rap :) I don't have any other monkey ones but you might like this one about our extinct relatives, the hominins: ua-cam.com/video/Tyqxz0bnbCQ/v-deo.html

[@juanperez7609]

Is this an actual song they teach in biology or something ? this shit slaps harder than my dad slapped me when i was young