I know how you feel sunshine. Council doing new windows,heating,roughcast,kitchens,bathrooms etc. been there,done that. You just get organised after each intrusion decorate and get the house in order then in they come again. Wrecking everything you’ve done. Thankfully after that we were able to buy our house. At last we were able to relax and do things at our leisure without anyone wrecking what we did. ❤
Just a thought my home is quite minimal and tidy but I have learnt not to stress over things I cant control and wallpapering behind my radiators is one of them. I just go down up and in the side as much as I can and that to me is good enough. 😊 I would put off starting a project eg decorating because I needed it to be perfect. I live by good enough now. I know you said you can see it but please try the good enough more often, it has helped me hugely 😊. I used to want the perfect home and it all can add to clutter and having to store more for seasons. More stuff to manage and move around now my housework can take about 30 mins a day, thats mopping, hoovering, dusting, make bed/beds and wipe down bathroom. Build some routines and get your family to do the same.
This is what I want to learn. How to not worry about all the small things that don’t need worrying about. I’ve had 40 odd years though of having to worry about everything it’s been literally my job to keep people save and alive. Breaking the habit of a lifetime is going to take some serious doing
@@RaquelTrotter I'm 52 now and it's only been the last 4 years where I've learnt to let go of the perfectionism, my mantre now is good enough, you will get there hun, be kind to yourself 🙂
I’m also doing a little refresh on my home. I’ve painted the outside doors and shutters. I also want to do some garden refresh on my flower beds. The weather is getting cooler and it’s out me in the mood to refresh things. I just do small jobs at a time.😊
Happy anniversary to you and Del. I can totally understand where your coming from with the 'my cup is full' life can be stressful and we have alot to do to to even just keep things ticking over but it can feel so over whelming at times so dont beat yourself up and as youve said before sometimes good enough is just that and since you said it it has helped me realise that good enough is sometimes good enough because we have so much else going on and we have to remeber to look after ourselves too. At least you keep it real which people love rather than some who only post the one clean area in their home lol. Sending you hugs and positivity, your doing better than you think! 😊❤ xx
@@annemariecarr9961 thank you. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself or be reminded that good enough is good enough. Thank you for reminding me I had forgotten in the pursuit of perfection that I see on Instagram, I must realise that it’s not all real
A gratitude practice has really helped me to stay positive. I have lived with a lot of the same things you've talked about, including the feeling of being overwhelmed. It feels never-ending, doesn't it? But people can change, and they can change their homes, too. It just takes a huge amount of consistent and persistent effort, and that's the hardest part - being consistent with it. I'm on a journey too! Good luck and warmest best wishes to you!
Thank you. I really hope you’re right, that people can change. I have so much potential but instead of living up to it I waste days and days just slobbing about doing nothing
@@RaquelTrotter I really believe we can change. We just have to want to enough to keep at it, even on those awful days when everything seems to be conspiring against us. I realised I'd turned the corner from decades of relative inactivity when I noticed things getting better and easier at last, but I can't tell you how hard I've worked (mentally, more than physically) to get my head around creating change. It's changing habits, remaining positive whatever, and keeping moving, again and again. But oh, I've had those days and days! For me, it was essentially years! You will get where you want to be, if you just keep at it on every single day that you can. Persist long enough, and eventually the days and days of wasted time will happen less often. (You might try searching for the Death Clock and seeing how long it predicts you have left. On the day of writing, it calculates I might have 5393 days left. I want more!) As I take control of things again and again, and impose some order on the chaos, there is more and more time left for me to spend on the wonderful things I can do without guilt because of the attention I've already given to the boring or hard/responsible stuff. I'm still a long way from being where I want to be but I can see progress, and I know you will be able to soon, even if you can't see it all the time now. It's the laws of physics, it's scientifically got to happen! You can do it, "Raquel" - great name choice, by the way. I send you warm good wishes to cheer and encourage you!
Pick one room and do it has you want it Decorate it Paint get rid of the crap take your time and do it right to your Standard no cut corners that will lift your Spirits you go Hirl❤
@@carolstewart4375 I’m learning to be patient with the process. I normally want it all done as quick as possible and that has partly lead us to the mess we’re in now so I’m really really trying to go as slow as I can
Oh love, happy belated anniversary to you both for the 27th. ❤ Take care and don’t put pressure on yourself, we will still be here ❤ you’ve started with your small steps 😉 you’re getting there, Please stop doom scrolling on instagram, that stuff is unrealistic and seems oh so insincere (IMO). Great clean! I get your empty nest thing, but trust me, they come back again and again……..and again 😂 Nice that Kerry is visiting you on Sunday, there should be some giggles in that! I enjoy seeing you both interact, it’s lovely. See you soon darlin xox
Thank you. I thought I was odd being that attached to my youngest. I was scared to see him grow up, I didn’t want him leaving me and it took ages to admit that because I thought something was wrong with me and I felt guilty that I wasn’t as clingy with Alyssa. Apparently I’m very normal not wanting the youngest to leave because of the empty nest thing. Knowing how normal you are really does help you move on from these things so thank you so much for helping me realise this is normal and for confirming they come back. There will definitely be some giggles in a Kerry visit 😁 when we get together we can get some much done
Hey lovely I feel you I have felt the same way and yes I do think it can change you will get out of that spiral. Remember a lot on Instagram isn’t real and remember some of those people who seem to have it all and put together really don’t. You will get there ❤️
@@sarahtaylor2492 thank you. You’re so right. Instagram only shows you what the person wants to show you and you don’t see the people who seem to have it all together, all the time.
Happy anniversary to you and Del. Wonderful that you get some time together. I usually clean as I go, aslong as I'm in the right head space. When my anxiety and depression kick in; It could be months before I can do anything except the necessitys. Thank God for my husband he does a lot. I have trouble sleeping and I feel that may be part of my problem. I only have my husband to really talk to, no friends and that makes me sad. Then o get so mad at nuself for not doing anything. I ask myself what is wrong with me? It's a vicious cycle. Don't be hard on yourself, it makes worse. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you Judith. I hear you with the anxiety and depression, it’s an awful combination. The depression makes you not want to do anything and everything looks bad, but not doing anything makes you anxious, the anxiety makes you more depressed because you should be doing something. It’s a hard cycle to break.
a bit like polishing a turd!! Motivation - is the key, perhaps if you suggested a bit of help mum time, lets tackle things together. Or book a couple of hours in advance during the week ; do you mind giving me a hand on so n so. Got to be worth a try. all the best
I do and will keep trying but the help is never consistent and I always end up feeling defeated that I’ve relied on them and then been let down. I also don’t have the mental energy to keep chasing them to do the work over and over again. I am taking time for myself each day though and your right about polishing a turd, my home is very much in turd status at the minute but I am a stubborn person and I’ll get what I want in the end 😁
I hope your not offended because I think your a wonderfully honest person but if your like me and my wife we feel exactly like you at this stage in life my wife is 50 and I'm 56 I just think it's a kind of mid life crises that we all go through also if you are suffering a form of depression life can be an utter constant uphill battle but honestly you should be proud of yourself for having the strength to keep on going.
@@lorissabeaumont3109 thank you for being so kind, I’m not offended. I suspect something is happening, perimenopause, midlife crisis, depression, goodness knows but I’m working on it . Hope you’d guys get sorted soon as well
Awwww congrats hun happy belated anniversary my husband and I celebrated our 39th anniversary on Aug 24th,,,,I get it hun I lived in a house I hated for 26yrs only I went the other way wrong because to me it was always contaminated so I couldn't stop cleaning because it always felt dirty,,,,,sweetie my mom always told me nothing changes if nothing changes and I always thought throughout the years of not having her that she was so right,,,,,,take care hun and have a great time with your sister
Belated happy anniversary to you both. That feeling you describe about it never being clean is exactly how I feel, it makes my brain itch although like you say I go the opposite way to you and just give up. Perhaps people with OCD and people with depression are suffering the same way
@RaquelTrotter I believe that they are closely related. it's so hard when your suffering and living inside your own thoughts. Especially when you become so hyper focused and just can't get rid of the way your thinking or feeling.And you look at the rest of your family and think why does these things only affect me,I so understand where you are coming from.And f I r me the worse thing to hear and I willalways do is you should be a professional cleaner.What they don't understand is for me because My mental health it takes me a long time to clean and when your a professional the companies want you to be fast and that just doesn't work for me
@@AngelCrafts1999 I love this. Not that you or I are suffering but that someone else out there gets exactly what I’m trying to put out. You are literally writing my inner thoughts and feelings. I want to build a community that can help and support people like us to get out of our heads and become more of the person we know we can be, the person we get a rare glimpse of on those to few, good, days
@RaquelTrotter exactly hun that's why I think I was so drawn to you and your channel,because I fully felt connected to someone who knew what it was like to live in your head all the time
I think once the heating is put in you will feel better as you can then start the decorating , Will the housing give you money towards decorating seeing as they are doing work that will mean making a mess ,
I think I will feel so much better as at the moment I’m in limbo with both the fencing and the redecorating projects as the HA are taking their time getting back to us with the works that need doing.
Hi hope your well ❤ i would love to have everything for my home but i know i wont be able to afford it as my mam use to say you can have everything going but it doesn't mean its payed for i would sooner save up then be in debt for ever any day. great vlog sweetheart xxxx
This is why I’m saving for each room to get done. It’s going to take a very long time to get everything sorted but I hope by the start of 2026 everything will be in some sort of order
You work really bloody hard from what I've seen, so just sitting on the sofa and doing nothing for a few days is a rest well earned. Please remember that 90% of what you see on social media isn't real or really attainable. Don't get tucked into that nonsense xxx
I know how you feel sunshine. Council doing new windows,heating,roughcast,kitchens,bathrooms etc. been there,done that. You just get organised after each intrusion decorate and get the house in order then in they come again. Wrecking everything you’ve done. Thankfully after that we were able to buy our house. At last we were able to relax and do things at our leisure without anyone wrecking what we did. ❤
Just a thought my home is quite minimal and tidy but I have learnt not to stress over things I cant control and wallpapering behind my radiators is one of them. I just go down up and in the side as much as I can and that to me is good enough. 😊 I would put off starting a project eg decorating because I needed it to be perfect. I live by good enough now. I know you said you can see it but please try the good enough more often, it has helped me hugely 😊. I used to want the perfect home and it all can add to clutter and having to store more for seasons. More stuff to manage and move around now my housework can take about 30 mins a day, thats mopping, hoovering, dusting, make bed/beds and wipe down bathroom. Build some routines and get your family to do the same.
This is what I want to learn. How to not worry about all the small things that don’t need worrying about. I’ve had 40 odd years though of having to worry about everything it’s been literally my job to keep people save and alive. Breaking the habit of a lifetime is going to take some serious doing
@@RaquelTrotter I'm 52 now and it's only been the last 4 years where I've learnt to let go of the perfectionism, my mantre now is good enough, you will get there hun, be kind to yourself 🙂
I’m also doing a little refresh on my home. I’ve painted the outside doors and shutters. I also want to do some garden refresh on my flower beds. The weather is getting cooler and it’s out me in the mood to refresh things. I just do small jobs at a time.😊
Raquel, I don’t cook either. My husband does all of the cooking. I am so grateful. I really don’t like to cook.
Happy anniversary to you and Del. I can totally understand where your coming from with the 'my cup is full' life can be stressful and we have alot to do to to even just keep things ticking over but it can feel so over whelming at times so dont beat yourself up and as youve said before sometimes good enough is just that and since you said it it has helped me realise that good enough is sometimes good enough because we have so much else going on and we have to remeber to look after ourselves too. At least you keep it real which people love rather than some who only post the one clean area in their home lol. Sending you hugs and positivity, your doing better than you think! 😊❤ xx
@@annemariecarr9961 thank you. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself or be reminded that good enough is good enough. Thank you for reminding me I had forgotten in the pursuit of perfection that I see on Instagram, I must realise that it’s not all real
New subscriber, love listening to your voice. I really want to come and help you so much. Sending love and positive energy ❤❤❤
Aww thank you ♥️
You have a happy family life so try not to stress with the Cleaning you will get there
I hope you’re right. I do have a great family. I think it’s been the change in routine that’s thrown me a little
A gratitude practice has really helped me to stay positive. I have lived with a lot of the same things you've talked about, including the feeling of being overwhelmed. It feels never-ending, doesn't it? But people can change, and they can change their homes, too. It just takes a huge amount of consistent and persistent effort, and that's the hardest part - being consistent with it. I'm on a journey too! Good luck and warmest best wishes to you!
Thank you. I really hope you’re right, that people can change. I have so much potential but instead of living up to it I waste days and days just slobbing about doing nothing
@@RaquelTrotter I really believe we can change. We just have to want to enough to keep at it, even on those awful days when everything seems to be conspiring against us. I realised I'd turned the corner from decades of relative inactivity when I noticed things getting better and easier at last, but I can't tell you how hard I've worked (mentally, more than physically) to get my head around creating change. It's changing habits, remaining positive whatever, and keeping moving, again and again. But oh, I've had those days and days! For me, it was essentially years!
You will get where you want to be, if you just keep at it on every single day that you can. Persist long enough, and eventually the days and days of wasted time will happen less often. (You might try searching for the Death Clock and seeing how long it predicts you have left. On the day of writing, it calculates I might have 5393 days left. I want more!)
As I take control of things again and again, and impose some order on the chaos, there is more and more time left for me to spend on the wonderful things I can do without guilt because of the attention I've already given to the boring or hard/responsible stuff. I'm still a long way from being where I want to be but I can see progress, and I know you will be able to soon, even if you can't see it all the time now. It's the laws of physics, it's scientifically got to happen! You can do it, "Raquel" - great name choice, by the way. I send you warm good wishes to cheer and encourage you!
Pick one room and do it has you want it Decorate it Paint get rid of the crap take your time and do it right to your Standard no cut corners that will lift your Spirits you go Hirl❤
@@carolstewart4375 I’m learning to be patient with the process. I normally want it all done as quick as possible and that has partly lead us to the mess we’re in now so I’m really really trying to go as slow as I can
Oh love, happy belated anniversary to you both for the 27th. ❤
Take care and don’t put pressure on yourself, we will still be here ❤ you’ve started with your small steps 😉 you’re getting there,
Please stop doom scrolling on instagram, that stuff is unrealistic and seems oh so insincere (IMO).
Great clean!
I get your empty nest thing, but trust me, they come back again and again……..and again 😂
Nice that Kerry is visiting you on Sunday, there should be some giggles in that! I enjoy seeing you both interact, it’s lovely.
See you soon darlin xox
Thank you. I thought I was odd being that attached to my youngest. I was scared to see him grow up, I didn’t want him leaving me and it took ages to admit that because I thought something was wrong with me and I felt guilty that I wasn’t as clingy with Alyssa. Apparently I’m very normal not wanting the youngest to leave because of the empty nest thing. Knowing how normal you are really does help you move on from these things so thank you so much for helping me realise this is normal and for confirming they come back. There will definitely be some giggles in a Kerry visit 😁 when we get together we can get some much done
Hey lovely
I feel you I have felt the same way and yes I do think it can change you will get out of that spiral.
Remember a lot on Instagram isn’t real and remember some of those people who seem to have it all and put together really don’t.
You will get there ❤️
@@sarahtaylor2492 thank you. You’re so right. Instagram only shows you what the person wants to show you and you don’t see the people who seem to have it all together, all the time.
Done is better than perfect. I put radiator covers over my radiators. Looks good and you don’t see how well or not behind the radiators look like.
I’m not sure if I can have radiator covers with the new style heating system but I’ll be getting them if I can, I think that’s a great idea
Happy anniversary to you both 🩷🦋💐
Happy anniversary to you and Del. Wonderful that you get some time together. I usually clean as I go, aslong as I'm in the right head space. When my anxiety and depression kick in; It could be months before I can do anything except the necessitys. Thank God for my husband he does a lot. I have trouble sleeping and I feel that may be part of my problem. I only have my husband to really talk to, no friends and that makes me sad. Then o get so mad at nuself for not doing anything. I ask myself what is wrong with me? It's a vicious cycle. Don't be hard on yourself, it makes worse. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you Judith. I hear you with the anxiety and depression, it’s an awful combination. The depression makes you not want to do anything and everything looks bad, but not doing anything makes you anxious, the anxiety makes you more depressed because you should be doing something. It’s a hard cycle to break.
Great video 😊
Thank you
Happy Anniversary,ours was the 25th.😊
Happy anniversary to you both
a bit like polishing a turd!! Motivation - is the key, perhaps if you suggested a bit of help mum time, lets tackle things together. Or book a couple of hours in advance during the week ; do you mind giving me a hand on so n so. Got to be worth a try. all the best
I do and will keep trying but the help is never consistent and I always end up feeling defeated that I’ve relied on them and then been let down. I also don’t have the mental energy to keep chasing them to do the work over and over again. I am taking time for myself each day though and your right about polishing a turd, my home is very much in turd status at the minute but I am a stubborn person and I’ll get what I want in the end 😁
I hope your not offended because I think your a wonderfully honest person but if your like me and my wife we feel exactly like you at this stage in life my wife is 50 and I'm 56 I just think it's a kind of mid life crises that we all go through also if you are suffering a form of depression life can be an utter constant uphill battle but honestly you should be proud of yourself for having the strength to keep on going.
@@lorissabeaumont3109 thank you for being so kind, I’m not offended. I suspect something is happening, perimenopause, midlife crisis, depression, goodness knows but I’m working on it . Hope you’d guys get sorted soon as well
Awwww congrats hun happy belated anniversary my husband and I celebrated our 39th anniversary on Aug 24th,,,,I get it hun I lived in a house I hated for 26yrs only I went the other way wrong because to me it was always contaminated so I couldn't stop cleaning because it always felt dirty,,,,,sweetie my mom always told me nothing changes if nothing changes and I always thought throughout the years of not having her that she was so right,,,,,,take care hun and have a great time with your sister
Belated happy anniversary to you both. That feeling you describe about it never being clean is exactly how I feel, it makes my brain itch although like you say I go the opposite way to you and just give up. Perhaps people with OCD and people with depression are suffering the same way
@RaquelTrotter I believe that they are closely related. it's so hard when your suffering and living inside your own thoughts. Especially when you become so hyper focused and just can't get rid of the way your thinking or feeling.And you look at the rest of your family and think why does these things only affect me,I so understand where you are coming from.And f I r me the worse thing to hear and I willalways do is you should be a professional cleaner.What they don't understand is for me because
My mental health it takes me a long time to clean and when your a professional the companies want you to be fast and that just doesn't work for me
@@AngelCrafts1999 I love this. Not that you or I are suffering but that someone else out there gets exactly what I’m trying to put out. You are literally writing my inner thoughts and feelings. I want to build a community that can help and support people like us to get out of our heads and become more of the person we know we can be, the person we get a rare glimpse of on those to few, good, days
@RaquelTrotter exactly hun that's why I think I was so drawn to you and your channel,because I fully felt connected to someone who knew what it was like to live in your head all the time
I think once the heating is put in you will feel better as you can then start the decorating , Will the housing give you money towards decorating seeing as they are doing work that will mean making a mess ,
I think I will feel so much better as at the moment I’m in limbo with both the fencing and the redecorating projects as the HA are taking their time getting back to us with the works that need doing.
Nice cleaning video
Thank you
Hi hope your well ❤ i would love to have everything for my home but i know i wont be able to afford it as my mam use to say you can have everything going but it doesn't mean its payed for i would sooner save up then be in debt for ever any day. great vlog sweetheart xxxx
This is why I’m saving for each room to get done. It’s going to take a very long time to get everything sorted but I hope by the start of 2026 everything will be in some sort of order
@@RaquelTrotter that's brilliant x
You work really bloody hard from what I've seen, so just sitting on the sofa and doing nothing for a few days is a rest well earned. Please remember that 90% of what you see on social media isn't real or really attainable. Don't get tucked into that nonsense xxx
@@talex1625 thank you. It’s very hard not to though.
Can you do review for me