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I actually lived in Istanbul for 6 months during Erasmus 8 years ago and feel so many memories coming back while watching your videos. Very sorry to hear about your traumatic experience. This broken person is ruining your life and it is heartbreaking to hear about your pain. I understand you wanting to fix him and have a life partner that would appreciate you, but at this point it sounds so much like codependency (if that is the right term). Broken people attract broken people, but finding yourself a healthy partner would be so much more rewarding long term. I wish you all the best in your journey and am looking forward to your future videos. p.s. I loved my experience living in Istanbul, people were truly amazing, watching your videos made me decide to travel back to Istanbul this year :))
thanks so much Vincas!! I actually made this video because I already closed this chapter of my life and deleted him from everywhere. I am moving forward. If I ever feel I'm open to getting to know someone else, I'm already in contact with many nice people who have shared their interest in me. so no problem at all if at one point I feel I'm ready :)) and the video I added when mentioning Istiklal was the exact point we met up to get a coffee on our first date. I go there from time to time, the cream colored building on the left is Narmanlı Han. you might already know it 😊 I love Şişhane! those parts were called Şişhane thanks a lot for the super thanks and wish you an amazing year ahead!
@@SueRibelle Thank you for explaining it. I assumed there was still a chance of going back given how long you were in contact. Hopefully you will get passed the traumatic experience and it won't deter you from future relationships. You deserve to be happy. Glad to hear you have a line of potential candidates already 😄 The places you mentioned do sound familiar, I think I have been there a couple times, but I lived in Kadikoy on the Asian side, so I am more familiar with that area. The Kadikoy coast park is a perfect place for dates :)) I have been on quite a few of them in my short time there, remember like it was yesterday! Turkey is truly an amazing country minus the politics :)
I think the guy is a narcissist and you've got yourself caught in the love bombing phase. "Love Bombing: In the initial phase, the narcissist idealizes the other person, showering them with attention and affection. This creates an illusion of deep affection and connection. Devaluation: Once the target is fully invested, the narcissist begins to minimize and discard them." I think you're very lucky you didn't get caught in the final devaluation phase. You would have met a much worse person, which is exactly what happened the last time you met. Allah korumuş bacım :)
önceki yorumu sildim çok "isimsiz ifşa" olmuş :))) bu merakla adam buraları da bulur sonra şok olmasın. çok teşekkürler ama tekrar. sizle yeri geldikçe iki taraftan da etkileşime devam :)) 🫂
@@SueRibelle ay evet, aman ya kendi hayatı berbat gittikçe bakınır böylesi neler yapmış diğeri diye etkisi olmadıkça kudurur falan, aman diyelim 🧿🧿 senin yol açık maşallah
Yess! Indeed I am. I wasn't aware and strong enough before all of this to stay away when I saw the patterns. Otherwise mine ended up being "another case of narcissistic abuse" anyway
Jesus said this " Cast not your pearls before the swine. Lest they trample the pearls & then attack you". I'm praying for you. God cares about your heart. This experience will make you stronger & wiser.
@@SueRibellethere is an excellent book called “Why He does that”. It’s very much worth reading. It isn’t your fault that you experienced narcissistic abuse, but it is important to be careful in the future because it is easy to end up in another similar situation. You deserve peace, thank you for your video
omg girl, you are so lucky, you dodged this bullet! that man is TRASH! no sympathy for him! and yes, maybe other women (family) in his life were not nice to him and he went through some stuff, but it is no excuse to treat others the way he did. There are so many better and more normal guys out there - you will find your soulmate (and even if not, being alone for ten lives back to back is better then having anything wth that psycho). just hang in there and good things will come :)
Love and care for YOURSELF first. People with such compassion and empathy for others often find themselves giving their whole selves to others or a cause or many causes. It sounds like what you ended up with here was someone who definitely was broken who most likely has mental health issues and he was certainly taking advantage of you whether it was intentional or not. Sounds very similar to the situation that I had lived in for 19 years With someone. The love bombing and gaslighting over and over and over talk you up and treat you so well and then tear you down so easily. And, I still had love for him. The best thing I could’ve ever have done for myself was the day I ended it all. It had to stop it had to end it had to be over. And I made it happen. By the time I made it happen it was OK and I was able to make the break and not have any overwhelming lasting feelings, but that is also because I was in that situation for so many years, I was slowly dying along the way. Although I lived my life out loud With my friends and family and did things that I wanted to do my relationship was never what I wanted it to be. When I ended it all with him I still continue to live my life with my family and my friends, and I have a good life. No one needs to be treated the way this man treated you. And we can make all kinds of excuses for his behavior And try and try and try to figure it out and what it means. What means is the next round is going to be better with the next person. You’ve learned and have grown from this experience. Yes, you are correct. There is sometimes a very deep tie that is not understandable. My partner he used to say all the time I don’t know what it is, but there’s just something about you. So he knew all along that there were some strange connection between the two of us as well and if you can’t name what it is then it’s time to move on. Cut the ties And keep building yourself up and making yourself stronger. You are a beautiful woman with a soul full of light and love. Share it out like you have been sharing it and it will all keep coming back to you. Much love!💜 and, oh yes, I want to warn you that even after I had cut it off and had a few conversations off that major after that major cut him out of my life. He did reach out again about eight years later three different times. I did not return the calls, not opening that door again. I would recommend the same for you.
It breaks my heart to see your tears sister. I wanna say 3 things. 1. I had a similar experience with a dishonest man just when i was around your age. After that I did not allow men to win my heart easily. I met a lovely descent man several years later and married him when I was 40. You never know when true love comes to your life. 2. This guy you are talking about was never a good man in the first place. He managed to hide his true intentions from you in the first three dates. 3. Never ever ever tell your sensitive story or vulnerable history to a man ever. Especially with religious men and those who claim to be religious, never ever in hell share any story with them becau they are very judgemental. These men will use the story, story you had shared with them at your moment of vulnerability, against you and will crush and humiliate you. Keep your tears and your sensitive stories to yourself and your journal. They are too precious to be shared with men
Wow you are a true gem in my view. I absolutely agree that you have many qualities. It's obvious. I'm sad to hear of your terrible experience with this guy. Lots of love to you 💖
@@SueRibelle i have subscribed and im looking forward to more of your videos which in my view are offering a blossoming source of wisdom. I suspect you'll be well aware of how our wounds can end up being beneficial. Perhaps Rumi had said it best when he'd said "the wound is where the light enters"
@@SueRibelle Sue, if I may ask - There are so many people out here that aren't familiar with Turkey, its tremendous history or its culture. Perhaps someday, show the world? It would be a great format for you.
my health and financial state is not well off enough to do that. and currently I'm more invested in sharing my teachings from life. I'm not planning to create such content for a while but thank you
My ex boyfriend who I met 10 years ago was just like that! We had an on again off again relationship for so long , he always said I always give and sacrifice for my dysfunctional family and I get nothing back.. when I tried to give him love he would pull away and talk to other women so I didn’t take him seriously, I also dated people and had my distance. Recently he came back again saying he’s marrying this girl he met a year ago but he still misses me and wants an affair 😆 😢it took me 2 months to process and finally i blocked him
😄😄😄 girl... where do we always find these people???? OR MAYBE why do they always find us???? 😄😄😄 I am DONE though. moving forward to calmer waters! ahoyy!! 😄😄
@@SueRibelle Ikr! Well mosty it’s about what we attract like for us women it’s generational trauma and what we have seen our parents acted and the society acts. In the path of healing having right people by your side and patience is very important. You keep doing what you’re gurll best of luck 🤗
This is a heartbreaking story. And to hear how he treated you when things got a difficult and confusing for him, how he couldn't understand your perspective, I think it's clear that you are better off without this man. When you meet somebody for the first time, they'll usually try to show the best of themselves, and hide the ugly side of their personality. During that time, you may build in your head an image of them that is not real, anticipate a future that is not possible and not real. And then when it collapses you grieve the loss of the fantasy, not of the real person with all their flaws.
thank you for sharing this. i don’t usually watch videos like this but it showed up on my feed and i felt like i wanted to listen… i really do resonate with you. i wish you the best ❤
typical narcissist....likes other people relying on him, then he uses his position where other people rely on him to make their lives miserable. funny part is that these people's actions almost always cause their own downfall
I was engaged, and we had a child back in 2021. I had issues to work out and so did she. I have since been growing up. My son is the best thing to happen to me! I get him every weekend! Never tried dating apps. I feel they’re a bit superficial. Waiting for God to show me my next mate, if ever. Enjoy your latte. Every day is a gift! It’s the little things. Have a wonderful day Sue!
great to read a nice view on this! and I totally understand your view on dating apps, but this particular one had so many questions we could answer and they would sit on our profile. so rather than looking at photos of someone and choosing them based on their looks, almost everyone dating with intention in this app had many questions answered in their profile so you'd learn beforehand about many of their views on diverse issues of life :) it was an amazing app. I had friends who found their spouses from there. it became a means for many healthy relationships I closely got to see
@@SueRibellesounds like a good one. Maybe there is something similar here in US. I may have to concede and try it because it is indeed the future of dating etc.
Thank you for sharing your story. I really enjoyed hearing from you! This man's actions have left me in real shock and hence you are not expected to leave him!! love you from Egypt 🇪🇬💕
@ He has pulled off something akin to a magic trick on you. The truth is, no one is truly rational; we all believe we're the most rational person on the planet, or at least in the top 10%. Hehe. Have you ever watched a street magician make a card appear in someone's wallet, signed and all? It's baffling, right? Now, imagine you've never heard of a "magic trick" before. You see something so mind-blowing that your senses are on high alert, searching for any signs that could explain it. Your biases kick into overdrive, making you not just see what he's doing but also pick up on any cosmic “sign” you can find, attributing it to him or your "connection." How do I know this? I spent 15 years as a professional gambler, and I saw gambling fallacies and cognitive biases everywhere. A simple yet effective casino trick, which everyone can grasp once explained, involves showing the previous spin results on a roulette table. Casinos, understand their customers well. They've learned that gambling addicts are especially prone to spotting nonexistent patterns and acting on them. Most people understand that past spins don't affect future ones, so if black hits 19 times in a row, the odds are still 50/50 for black on the next spin (ignoring the green). Yet, some gamblers will claim "black is hot tonight" or believe "it's impossible for black to hit 20 times consecutively." This kind of thinking leads to irrational bets and decisions, I know this will sound so crazy to you but a massive portion of what he said was total B.S., he pulled a type of nasty magic trick on you, he’s blurred the lines with half truths and that’s why it’s so so difficult to see, especially if it’s cemented with cosmic beliefs
Thank you for sharing. Its so refreshing to hear how 'love' is felt from a woman and to hear the trials and tribulations one goes through and its not from a person from a 'north american' culture
Dear Ayşe, First of all thank you so much for taking your time sharing your story with us. Know this my dear Ayṣe, You’re a wonderful high value smart well educated woman that deserves all the best, and I send you much love and hugs, as a support to you, I also ask the universe and the Devine to fulfill your dreams and aspirations ♥️ I actually came across your video accidentally.. well I guess it’s the modern technology that reads our minds that suggested this specific video to me ( algorithms ), or maybe as you said, we’re connected energetically as spiritual beings.. who knows? Ayşe, let me tell you this, I went through a similar experience last year, except for that I didn’t attach myself to the person due to my secure attachment style, so I called him out for his bad behavior, and left him after the first spiteful message which was full of anger & pain from his part. Just like you, I did think my connection was a twin flame connection, I felt a tremendous familiarity with him, a feeling of home, felt like I knew him from a past life or something, and that made me believe that our connection was a Devine connection, and went through a hard time because of the turbulence of it. But let me tell you this, a while ago, I saw a video connecting between the twin flame dynamic, and a specific relationship typy between an avoidant attached person and an anxious attached person, a dynamic of a runner and a chaser, mouse and cat, push & pull dynamic, now me not being anxious, I didn’t chase, I left him and still trying to move on, I try to be rational and logical more than spiritual at times, especially when it comes to this type of a connection, or any other human connection, why? Because I am a spiritual person, I’m an empath, so I try to balance my emotions with my rational thinking.. meaning balancing heart and mind, trying to be more grounded and steady, this is important in order to let go of the guilt & remorse that we empaths have, and also to let go of the attachment to the so called twin flame connection or person. Just like you, I watched a ton of videos about avoidant attachment style, and how to help an avoidant, but guess what? By time I realized it’s not worth it! We empaths are not here to fix broken individuals who don’t care about healing themselves! We can help and nurture them only if they’re open to it, but we shouldn’t insist on it if they’re rejecting any help, let alone if they reject us to begin with. So my advice to you is to work on yourself ( self development ), work on healing ( just like you’re doing ), love and pamper yourself more.. and move on! You can do it, I see that in you and I trust you! 💪🏼👌🏼 Thanks again for this valuable video🥀👌🏼 Last note: Look up trauma bond, some people mistake twin flame connection with trauma bond.
hello Dalya, thanks a lot for this incredibly detailed and caring comment! I truly felt your genuine concern and I'd like to share that I did the video because I left this whole story in the past. in the end you can hear that I ended things because the toxicity and unhealthy patterns became too much, there was no reason to stay in the dynamic. I currently have healthy options if I ever feel ready to begin again with someone else. First I'm focused on getting my financial state healthy so that I can feel better with where I am in life. and one day if I want to share my life with a partner, I will be ready only for a healthy dynamic I learned I should choose over this type of a connection in this journey. thanks for the comment again! and I wish you a beautiful life ahead!
@@SueRibelle Sorry for the long comment, I just wanted to share a bit of my experience, and how I dealt with it in order to give a better insight ☺️ Glad that you’re doing better and looking forward the future. Thank you for your good wishes dear Ayşe ♥️
I'm really sorry this happened to you. You did not do anything to deserve that and now you learned some tough lessons. He showed alot of red flags very early on. The obsessive religiousness, the question about slapping you(!), the fact that he became full of rage when you showed strenght and independence moving to an unknown country alone. I can see how you overlooked that because of the chemistry between you and your vulnerability. You were lucky that he showed his true colors early, because this is the type of man that uses and abuses women in every way, including physically. The type of man that stalks and eventually uses violence. Be careful, dont let him contact or find you. This man is much more dangerous than you probably realise. You deserve so much more. If a man truly loves you he will do everything to NEVER hurt you. He will see you as himself. I dont mean to be mean but this guy clearly hates you. So please, stay far away.
No problem! I don't take it as being mean because I got to see it exactly the same way when I looked at everything from a distance. There are so many incredibly obvious things here as you pointed out. Thank you for the genuine warning ❤️🫂
Listening to all this. The best thing to happen was not being with this person. Thank goodness. It’s great you’ve decided to air this out, although. It had to be on UA-cam out of all places. Noticing all the traffic coming your way, this experience can hopefully save someone in the same situation. Thanks Sue!
yes I share so that people either learn something from our stories or at least not feel alone if they are going/have gone through the same hell. we are all in this together! lol thank you!
cut all ties with such people. Make a clean break and dont go back - no texting, liking their social media posts, following them on social media, meeting for 'business' etc. These people are narsiccistic. Run and dont look back.
Thankfully we both were energetically pushing each other so much, we had no means of contact but only WhatsApp. I usually cut all types of energetic chords with connections like this because even having them in my contact list drains my energy. I ended everything, that might come with any excuse, a couple weeks ago. The following day this channel immediately started to blow up so it was like removing a clear blockage even from my abundance. Such a clear sign that was! Moving on, excited to see what life can bring from now on! 🙌❤️
Unlucky in love in this instance Sue. The good news is you will not have to go through this particularly distressing, emotional roller coaster ever again. Just a different one, not nearly so bad. :)
Sue, I haven't even watched the whole video yet and you completely dodged a bullet with this man. Anyone who doesn't get behind you 100% for opportunities to better and further your future and team build with you is manipulative and trying to control you. This wasn't "love" on his end, it was control.
Definitely! If when we stop and think for ourselves, we know that if they were in our shoes, we would LOVE to support them (cause if we are healthy and loving, WHY wouldn't we???), and they choose not to, they are definitely not the one to think about a future with. I think this whole process was to mature me. We live and we learn. Moving on but never giving up on what we always wanted to see in a partnership, just because one person turned out to be unable to provide that. ❤️🫂
No it wasn't negative actually. I realized I didn't explain in the video why I said "oh noo" as a reflex. He was an incredibly good looking man and I always opted for more mediocre looks when looking for a partner. He looked like a model or an actor or something and I am not the type that cared about that but more to find genuine connection. Handsome used to equal "trouble" in my head back then and I only wanted peace. Because, ironically, other than his looks, his presence always gave me a deep sense of security and peace. Like I mention it a couple times in the video 😊
You said he is borderline or BPD, but then as you started to say things about him, how he was actually and how he changed, day and night senario, I actually think just based on what you said that he has manipulative tendencies and might be sociopath, only those people can act like that. And the thing about you leaving and finding a means for you to be self sufficient was a way how he couldn't manipulate with you so he wanted the right opposite and since he could be a sociopath he played it from the getgo, which is kinda scary to think of. Since you stayed and returned to him multiple times and almost lived with him in a polygamic relationship could have something to do with abandonment issues as you stated, but also it could be manipulation from his side, that he said over and over again that you are worth nothing and you can leave, he doesn't cared about you that are things normal people just don't say, and he acted this way when you wanted to leave him. Those people can be also egocentric and narcistic as many stated which he was and is. Simmilar people do attract each other, so he could have some autistic traits or an higher intelect. I wish you could find a way how you can trust men once again, that they are not thad bad of a kind, because you found a manipulator and a sociopath in one person.This video shows that you are still not absolutely ok, but its a good way at least to get it out and show us that you went a long way to delth with it and also this video has its part in it. Just saw this on psych2go ua-cam.com/video/BIRGoZBhRtI/v-deo.html
at 48:40 you say the reason of why we watch you. I am actually just listening because you are such a good story teller and easy to listen to unlike other UA-camrs who jump all over the place.
Listen lady … you need a stable calm mature man in your life. He sounds like an insecure Man child. He will drag you down and it’s not your job to try to understand him ( unless you are some kind of masochist ) By middle age most of us will know through experience that life can be very tough, so we do have empathy for others. We can help too. But being stuck in a negative toxic environment is not good.. you have to move forward and embrace life, because life is short. You have to be strong resilient, and if you want to attract someone be your best self and be positive. You answered it yourself at the end … who wants to enter a relationship with someone who is damaged and needs fixing …when there are much better options out there … Don’t make your life harder.
Imo people must set their life in order first, especially man. If he is to take care of his beloved one he has to be equipped (good job, financially stable, simple car, house/home, but it doesn't have to be big at first, even 50m2 flat would do and have it without debt).
He had everything going well for him when we met. He was actually ready to build a life with someone. Then after I came back to Turkey, around 3 years ago now, the following month he became unemployed. And it's almost 3 years but he doesn't have a job. I think he went through some hardships in the process but I agree that not even the woman should think about being with a man who hasn't set things in order. Otherwise men don't feel enough and they become incredibly insecure
Atleast youre able to find people who are interested in you. As an ugly man who is 33, ive never met a woman in my life who has ever found me attractive and wanted to date me. Women dont fully understand what it feels like to go theough consant rejection in life, there comes a point when it starts to define you as a person. Noone in my life even cares to help me either. I just try my best to accept im going to be alone forever and get on with it
@SueRibelle What happened to you was really bad, but you said you met with 10 really nice people before and I'm sure they liked you. What most ppl don't understand about rejects like me is we have never have ANY experience so all we only experience the longing and emptiness of being unwanted by everyone. I'm very sure you don't understand what this feels like, based on your comment
But this has been a recurring discussion topic. Everybody can work on their looks and charisma and BOOM, your market value increases. You likely didnt do anything and complain. I went through a transformation and lost 100 pounds. Started to take care of my looks and people got interested in me only after that. What are you complaining about? I can be the last person to not understand what not being wanted is. My life started after 29 Maybe it is time you change yours as well my guy
@@SueRibelle I have always developed myself to my best ability and continue to do so but nothing has ever worked, but at what point do you change so much that you stop being authentically yourself? I have a Masters degree, I travelled the world, I invest my money to save for a house, I work in wildlife conservation, I lift weights and exercise, I treat people with respect and I'm a very good listener. I take care of my appearance and make sure im well presented. I don't know what more I can do other than turning into a completely different person
gece gece sonuna kadar izledim. bayağı sıkıntılı biriymiş yazık zamanında nasıl incinmişse, kurtulman iyi olmuş sevindim. onun hak ettiğinin kat be kat fazlasını yapmışsın, o konuda için rahat olsun.
Yok zaten artık bu kadar yipraninca karşı taraftan çok kendimi düşünmem lazımdı. Evet arada paylaşırdı bazı sorunlarını ama hiçbirimiz güllük gülistanlık hayatlardan gelmezken bir çift dinamiginde her şeyi tek taraftan beklememek lazım. Bir şey olacaksa iki taraf da iyi olmalı. Yoksa iyi olan da diğeri kadar bozulmaya başlıyor
what a looser! cry out your pain and go on, look at who he really was, have a final laugh and go on. People find love at every age, there's no rule to love. Be happy with yourself and proud and you will attract a good man. He's a joke
TBH, I thyink mothers should do a better job of preparing daughters and young ladies for the world of dating and marriage. Most women learn from bad edxperiences , so we must do better.
Feel free to support my content creation journey from here: 👉 buymeacoffee.com/sueribelle
Thank you for watching! Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe! I look forward to reading your comments❤
Never put your happiness in someone else's pocket. Value yourself. Thank you for your story.
I actually lived in Istanbul for 6 months during Erasmus 8 years ago and feel so many memories coming back while watching your videos. Very sorry to hear about your traumatic experience. This broken person is ruining your life and it is heartbreaking to hear about your pain. I understand you wanting to fix him and have a life partner that would appreciate you, but at this point it sounds so much like codependency (if that is the right term). Broken people attract broken people, but finding yourself a healthy partner would be so much more rewarding long term. I wish you all the best in your journey and am looking forward to your future videos. p.s. I loved my experience living in Istanbul, people were truly amazing, watching your videos made me decide to travel back to Istanbul this year :))
thanks so much Vincas!! I actually made this video because I already closed this chapter of my life and deleted him from everywhere. I am moving forward. If I ever feel I'm open to getting to know someone else, I'm already in contact with many nice people who have shared their interest in me. so no problem at all if at one point I feel I'm ready :))
and the video I added when mentioning Istiklal was the exact point we met up to get a coffee on our first date. I go there from time to time, the cream colored building on the left is Narmanlı Han. you might already know it 😊 I love Şişhane! those parts were called Şişhane
thanks a lot for the super thanks and wish you an amazing year ahead!
@@SueRibelle Thank you for explaining it. I assumed there was still a chance of going back given how long you were in contact. Hopefully you will get passed the traumatic experience and it won't deter you from future relationships. You deserve to be happy. Glad to hear you have a line of potential candidates already 😄
The places you mentioned do sound familiar, I think I have been there a couple times, but I lived in Kadikoy on the Asian side, so I am more familiar with that area. The Kadikoy coast park is a perfect place for dates :)) I have been on quite a few of them in my short time there, remember like it was yesterday! Turkey is truly an amazing country minus the politics :)
lol yes you definitely know the mentioned "venue"s of the story here then 😄😄
Delete and block his number and move on. It's not healthy to keep him in your life in any capacity.
I finally did so in the end. It took me a bit too long but I finally did.
🙏🙏❤️
I think the guy is a narcissist and you've got yourself caught in the love bombing phase.
"Love Bombing: In the initial phase, the narcissist idealizes the other person, showering them with attention and affection. This creates an illusion of deep affection and connection. Devaluation: Once the target is fully invested, the narcissist begins to minimize and discard them." I think you're very lucky you didn't get caught in the final devaluation phase. You would have met a much worse person, which is exactly what happened the last time you met.
Allah korumuş bacım :)
önceki yorumu sildim çok "isimsiz ifşa" olmuş :))) bu merakla adam buraları da bulur sonra şok olmasın.
çok teşekkürler ama tekrar. sizle yeri geldikçe iki taraftan da etkileşime devam :)) 🫂
@@SueRibelle ay evet, aman ya kendi hayatı berbat gittikçe bakınır böylesi neler yapmış diğeri diye etkisi olmadıkça kudurur falan, aman diyelim 🧿🧿 senin yol açık maşallah
Yeah - I don't love throwing the narcissist term around but I've experienced this recently.
Are you familiar with narcissism and narcissistic abuse? It sounds like this man had some very narcissistic traits
Yess! Indeed I am. I wasn't aware and strong enough before all of this to stay away when I saw the patterns. Otherwise mine ended up being "another case of narcissistic abuse" anyway
Jesus said this " Cast not your pearls before the swine. Lest they trample the pearls & then attack you". I'm praying for you. God cares about your heart. This experience will make you stronger & wiser.
@@SueRibellethere is an excellent book called “Why He does that”.
It’s very much worth reading. It isn’t your fault that you experienced narcissistic abuse, but it is important to be careful in the future because it is easy to end up in another similar situation. You deserve peace, thank you for your video
You will find “Divine Love” again, when you are ready. Don’t let him take that opportunity away from you.
I loved the warmth in this comment. thank you Jeff!
Thanks!
omg girl, you are so lucky, you dodged this bullet! that man is TRASH! no sympathy for him! and yes, maybe other women (family) in his life were not nice to him and he went through some stuff, but it is no excuse to treat others the way he did. There are so many better and more normal guys out there - you will find your soulmate (and even if not, being alone for ten lives back to back is better then having anything wth that psycho).
just hang in there and good things will come :)
"being alone for ten lives back to back is better" made me laugh a lot!! thank you and all the best!
Love and care for YOURSELF first. People with such compassion and empathy for others often find themselves giving their whole selves to others or a cause or many causes. It sounds like what you ended up with here was someone who definitely was broken who most likely has mental health issues and he was certainly taking advantage of you whether it was intentional or not. Sounds very similar to the situation that I had lived in for 19 years With someone. The love bombing and gaslighting over and over and over talk you up and treat you so well and then tear you down so easily. And, I still had love for him. The best thing I could’ve ever have done for myself was the day I ended it all. It had to stop it had to end it had to be over. And I made it happen. By the time I made it happen it was OK and I was able to make the break and not have any overwhelming lasting feelings, but that is also because I was in that situation for so many years, I was slowly dying along the way. Although I lived my life out loud With my friends and family and did things that I wanted to do my relationship was never what I wanted it to be. When I ended it all with him I still continue to live my life with my family and my friends, and I have a good life. No one needs to be treated the way this man treated you. And we can make all kinds of excuses for his behavior And try and try and try to figure it out and what it means. What means is the next round is going to be better with the next person. You’ve learned and have grown from this experience. Yes, you are correct. There is sometimes a very deep tie that is not understandable. My partner he used to say all the time I don’t know what it is, but there’s just something about you. So he knew all along that there were some strange connection between the two of us as well and if you can’t name what it is then it’s time to move on. Cut the ties And keep building yourself up and making yourself stronger. You are a beautiful woman with a soul full of light and love. Share it out like you have been sharing it and it will all keep coming back to you. Much love!💜 and, oh yes, I want to warn you that even after I had cut it off and had a few conversations off that major after that major cut him out of my life. He did reach out again about eight years later three different times. I did not return the calls, not opening that door again. I would recommend the same for you.
Sad to hear that men like him ruin a nice woman like you . I hope you heal from his games with your heart.
He had BPD, but you know this by now. So pitty you wasted 4 years on him. You are such a beautiful soul. ❤❤❤ Hugs from Ireland 🤗🤗🤗
It breaks my heart to see your tears sister. I wanna say 3 things. 1. I had a similar experience with a dishonest man just when i was around your age. After that I did not allow men to win my heart easily. I met a lovely descent man several years later and married him when I was 40. You never know when true love comes to your life. 2. This guy you are talking about was never a good man in the first place. He managed to hide his true intentions from you in the first three dates. 3. Never ever ever tell your sensitive story or vulnerable history to a man ever. Especially with religious men and those who claim to be religious, never ever in hell share any story with them becau they are very judgemental. These men will use the story, story you had shared with them at your moment of vulnerability, against you and will crush and humiliate you. Keep your tears and your sensitive stories to yourself and your journal. They are too precious to be shared with men
Wow you are a true gem in my view. I absolutely agree that you have many qualities. It's obvious. I'm sad to hear of your terrible experience with this guy. Lots of love to you 💖
Thank you so much!
@@SueRibelle i have subscribed and im looking forward to more of your videos which in my view are offering a blossoming source of wisdom. I suspect you'll be well aware of how our wounds can end up being beneficial. Perhaps Rumi had said it best when he'd said "the wound is where the light enters"
Sue, you're a lovely, beautiful woman and kind soul. Thank you for keeping me company while I do housework. Keep rolling forward, Sue!
thank you ❤️
@@SueRibelle Sue, if I may ask - There are so many people out here that aren't familiar with Turkey, its tremendous history or its culture. Perhaps someday, show the world? It would be a great format for you.
my health and financial state is not well off enough to do that. and currently I'm more invested in sharing my teachings from life. I'm not planning to create such content for a while but thank you
My ex boyfriend who I met 10 years ago was just like that! We had an on again off again relationship for so long , he always said I always give and sacrifice for my dysfunctional family and I get nothing back.. when I tried to give him love he would pull away and talk to other women so I didn’t take him seriously, I also dated people and had my distance. Recently he came back again saying he’s marrying this girl he met a year ago but he still misses me and wants an affair 😆 😢it took me 2 months to process and finally i blocked him
😄😄😄 girl... where do we always find these people???? OR MAYBE why do they always find us???? 😄😄😄
I am DONE though. moving forward to calmer waters! ahoyy!! 😄😄
@@SueRibelle Ikr! Well mosty it’s about what we attract like for us women it’s generational trauma and what we have seen our parents acted and the society acts. In the path of healing having right people by your side and patience is very important. You keep doing what you’re gurll best of luck 🤗
This is a heartbreaking story. And to hear how he treated you when things got a difficult and confusing for him, how he couldn't understand your perspective, I think it's clear that you are better off without this man. When you meet somebody for the first time, they'll usually try to show the best of themselves, and hide the ugly side of their personality. During that time, you may build in your head an image of them that is not real, anticipate a future that is not possible and not real. And then when it collapses you grieve the loss of the fantasy, not of the real person with all their flaws.
thank you for sharing this. i don’t usually watch videos like this but it showed up on my feed and i felt like i wanted to listen… i really do resonate with you. i wish you the best ❤
typical narcissist....likes other people relying on him, then he uses his position where other people rely on him to make their lives miserable.
funny part is that these people's actions almost always cause their own downfall
I was engaged, and we had a child back in 2021. I had issues to work out and so did she. I have since been growing up. My son is the best thing to happen to me! I get him every weekend! Never tried dating apps. I feel they’re a bit superficial. Waiting for God to show me my next mate, if ever. Enjoy your latte. Every day is a gift! It’s the little things. Have a wonderful day Sue!
great to read a nice view on this! and I totally understand your view on dating apps, but this particular one had so many questions we could answer and they would sit on our profile. so rather than looking at photos of someone and choosing them based on their looks, almost everyone dating with intention in this app had many questions answered in their profile so you'd learn beforehand about many of their views on diverse issues of life :) it was an amazing app. I had friends who found their spouses from there. it became a means for many healthy relationships I closely got to see
@@SueRibellesounds like a good one. Maybe there is something similar here in US. I may have to concede and try it because it is indeed the future of dating etc.
I believe you will marry. Keep loving & seeking the Lord & He will bring you a lovely wife. I'm praying for you right now.
Thank you for sharing your story. I really enjoyed hearing from you! This man's actions have left me in real shock and hence you are not expected to leave him!!
love you from Egypt 🇪🇬💕
Thanks
thanks a lot for your support, Benny!
@ He has pulled off something akin to a magic trick on you. The truth is, no one is truly rational; we all believe we're the most rational person on the planet, or at least in the top 10%. Hehe. Have you ever watched a street magician make a card appear in someone's wallet, signed and all? It's baffling, right? Now, imagine you've never heard of a "magic trick" before. You see something so mind-blowing that your senses are on high alert, searching for any signs that could explain it. Your biases kick into overdrive, making you not just see what he's doing but also pick up on any cosmic “sign” you can find, attributing it to him or your "connection." How do I know this? I spent 15 years as a professional gambler, and I saw gambling fallacies and cognitive biases everywhere. A simple yet effective casino trick, which everyone can grasp once explained, involves showing the previous spin results on a roulette table. Casinos, understand their customers well. They've learned that gambling addicts are especially prone to spotting nonexistent patterns and acting on them. Most people understand that past spins don't affect future ones, so if black hits 19 times in a row, the odds are still 50/50 for black on the next spin (ignoring the green). Yet, some gamblers will claim "black is hot tonight" or believe "it's impossible for black to hit 20 times consecutively." This kind of thinking leads to irrational bets and decisions, I know this will sound so crazy to you but a massive portion of what he said was total B.S., he pulled a type of nasty magic trick on you, he’s blurred the lines with half truths and that’s why it’s so so difficult to see, especially if it’s cemented with cosmic beliefs
Just stopped by sending some love your way have a blessed day❤
Thank you for sharing. Its so refreshing to hear how 'love' is felt from a woman and to hear the trials and tribulations one goes through and its not from a person from a 'north american' culture
Dear Ayşe,
First of all thank you so much for taking your time sharing your story with us.
Know this my dear Ayṣe, You’re a wonderful high value smart well educated woman that deserves all the best, and I send you much love and hugs, as a support to you, I also ask the universe and the Devine to fulfill your dreams and aspirations ♥️
I actually came across your video accidentally.. well I guess it’s the modern technology that reads our minds that suggested this specific video to me ( algorithms ), or maybe as you said, we’re connected energetically as spiritual beings.. who knows?
Ayşe, let me tell you this, I went through a similar experience last year, except for that I didn’t attach myself to the person due to my secure attachment style, so I called him out for his bad behavior, and left him after the first spiteful message which was full of anger & pain from his part.
Just like you, I did think my connection was a twin flame connection, I felt a tremendous familiarity with him, a feeling of home, felt like I knew him from a past life or something, and that made me believe that our connection was a Devine connection, and went through a hard time because of the turbulence of it.
But let me tell you this, a while ago, I saw a video connecting between the twin flame dynamic, and a specific relationship typy between an avoidant attached person and an anxious attached person, a dynamic of a runner and a chaser, mouse and cat, push & pull dynamic, now me not being anxious, I didn’t chase, I left him and still trying to move on, I try to be rational and logical more than spiritual at times, especially when it comes to this type of a connection, or any other human connection, why? Because I am a spiritual person, I’m an empath, so I try to balance my emotions with my rational thinking.. meaning balancing heart and mind, trying to be more grounded and steady, this is important in order to let go of the guilt & remorse that we empaths have, and also to let go of the attachment to the so called twin flame connection or person. Just like you, I watched a ton of videos about avoidant attachment style, and how to help an avoidant, but guess what? By time I realized it’s not worth it! We empaths are not here to fix broken individuals who don’t care about healing themselves! We can help and nurture them only if they’re open to it, but we shouldn’t insist on it if they’re rejecting any help, let alone if they reject us to begin with. So my advice to you is to work on yourself ( self development ), work on healing ( just like you’re doing ), love and pamper yourself more.. and move on! You can do it, I see that in you and I trust you! 💪🏼👌🏼
Thanks again for this valuable video🥀👌🏼
Last note: Look up trauma bond, some people mistake twin flame connection with trauma bond.
hello Dalya, thanks a lot for this incredibly detailed and caring comment! I truly felt your genuine concern and I'd like to share that I did the video because I left this whole story in the past. in the end you can hear that I ended things because the toxicity and unhealthy patterns became too much, there was no reason to stay in the dynamic.
I currently have healthy options if I ever feel ready to begin again with someone else. First I'm focused on getting my financial state healthy so that I can feel better with where I am in life. and one day if I want to share my life with a partner, I will be ready only for a healthy dynamic I learned I should choose over this type of a connection in this journey.
thanks for the comment again! and I wish you a beautiful life ahead!
@@SueRibelle Sorry for the long comment, I just wanted to share a bit of my experience, and how I dealt with it in order to give a better insight ☺️
Glad that you’re doing better and looking forward the future.
Thank you for your good wishes dear Ayşe ♥️
I'm really sorry this happened to you. You did not do anything to deserve that and now you learned some tough lessons. He showed alot of red flags very early on. The obsessive religiousness, the question about slapping you(!), the fact that he became full of rage when you showed strenght and independence moving to an unknown country alone. I can see how you overlooked that because of the chemistry between you and your vulnerability. You were lucky that he showed his true colors early, because this is the type of man that uses and abuses women in every way, including physically. The type of man that stalks and eventually uses violence. Be careful, dont let him contact or find you. This man is much more dangerous than you probably realise. You deserve so much more. If a man truly loves you he will do everything to NEVER hurt you. He will see you as himself. I dont mean to be mean but this guy clearly hates you. So please, stay far away.
No problem! I don't take it as being mean because I got to see it exactly the same way when I looked at everything from a distance. There are so many incredibly obvious things here as you pointed out. Thank you for the genuine warning ❤️🫂
Listening to all this. The best thing to happen was not being with this person. Thank goodness. It’s great you’ve decided to air this out, although. It had to be on UA-cam out of all places. Noticing all the traffic coming your way, this experience can hopefully save someone in the same situation. Thanks Sue!
yes I share so that people either learn something from our stories or at least not feel alone if they are going/have gone through the same hell. we are all in this together! lol
thank you!
Glad you did it. Very hard to let go.
Do not waste one more minute thinking about this guy.
cut all ties with such people. Make a clean break and dont go back - no texting, liking their social media posts, following them on social media, meeting for 'business' etc. These people are narsiccistic. Run and dont look back.
Thankfully we both were energetically pushing each other so much, we had no means of contact but only WhatsApp. I usually cut all types of energetic chords with connections like this because even having them in my contact list drains my energy.
I ended everything, that might come with any excuse, a couple weeks ago. The following day this channel immediately started to blow up so it was like removing a clear blockage even from my abundance. Such a clear sign that was!
Moving on, excited to see what life can bring from now on! 🙌❤️
Life offers countless unpredictable outcomes, each with its own lessons, challenges, and opportunities for growth. tx
He seems to be either an avoidant or a narcissist...Thank you for sharing.
Unlucky in love in this instance Sue. The good news is you will not have to go through this particularly distressing, emotional roller coaster ever again. Just a different one, not nearly so bad. :)
Definitely Bobby! Turned out I had to see people in changing circumstances. It was a tough lesson but always better to learn 😊
Sue, I haven't even watched the whole video yet and you completely dodged a bullet with this man. Anyone who doesn't get behind you 100% for opportunities to better and further your future and team build with you is manipulative and trying to control you. This wasn't "love" on his end, it was control.
Definitely! If when we stop and think for ourselves, we know that if they were in our shoes, we would LOVE to support them (cause if we are healthy and loving, WHY wouldn't we???), and they choose not to, they are definitely not the one to think about a future with.
I think this whole process was to mature me. We live and we learn.
Moving on but never giving up on what we always wanted to see in a partnership, just because one person turned out to be unable to provide that. ❤️🫂
@@SueRibelle big hugs to you, it is a terrible and painful thing to realize but there is someone wonderful out there for you who will build with you.
It's interesting that your first reaction, when you saw him was negative
No it wasn't negative actually. I realized I didn't explain in the video why I said "oh noo" as a reflex.
He was an incredibly good looking man and I always opted for more mediocre looks when looking for a partner. He looked like a model or an actor or something and I am not the type that cared about that but more to find genuine connection. Handsome used to equal "trouble" in my head back then and I only wanted peace. Because, ironically, other than his looks, his presence always gave me a deep sense of security and peace. Like I mention it a couple times in the video 😊
@SueRibelle i understand now, thanks
1:21:52 is s funny - “NO job, NO hair on his head” 😂😂
You’re a great storyteller, thank you for sharing. I hope you know the loss is not yours.
lol thanks for the quote, reading it made me want to listen to the whole video again! 😄
and of course! no loss here 😊 thank you!
You said he is borderline or BPD, but then as you started to say things about him, how he was actually and how he changed, day and night senario, I actually think just based on what you said that he has manipulative tendencies and might be sociopath, only those people can act like that. And the thing about you leaving and finding a means for you to be self sufficient was a way how he couldn't manipulate with you so he wanted the right opposite and since he could be a sociopath he played it from the getgo, which is kinda scary to think of. Since you stayed and returned to him multiple times and almost lived with him in a polygamic relationship could have something to do with abandonment issues as you stated, but also it could be manipulation from his side, that he said over and over again that you are worth nothing and you can leave, he doesn't cared about you that are things normal people just don't say, and he acted this way when you wanted to leave him. Those people can be also egocentric and narcistic as many stated which he was and is.
Simmilar people do attract each other, so he could have some autistic traits or an higher intelect.
I wish you could find a way how you can trust men once again, that they are not thad bad of a kind, because you found a manipulator and a sociopath in one person.This video shows that you are still not absolutely ok, but its a good way at least to get it out and show us that you went a long way to delth with it and also this video has its part in it.
Just saw this on psych2go
ua-cam.com/video/BIRGoZBhRtI/v-deo.html
yes definitely sounded a lot like sociopathy. thanks for this detailed and informative comment! ❤️
Girlllll, you are a sweetheart, omg, you are a shining star. I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST. LOVE U❤
Your a very beautiful young lady. Be strong, sending love from London. X
Sending u love and light
at 48:40 you say the reason of why we watch you. I am actually just listening because you are such a good story teller and easy to listen to unlike other UA-camrs who jump all over the place.
thanks a lot, Jane!!
It’s ok, lessons learned. We’re all do.
GODBLESS YOU SISTER
They are an empty well
Listen lady … you need a stable calm mature man in your life. He sounds like an insecure Man child. He will drag you down and it’s not your job to try to understand him ( unless you are some kind of masochist )
By middle age most of us will know through experience that life can be very tough, so we do have empathy for others. We can help too. But being stuck in a negative toxic environment is not good.. you have to move forward and embrace life, because life is short.
You have to be strong resilient, and if you want to attract someone be your best self and be positive.
You answered it yourself at the end … who wants to enter a relationship with someone who is damaged and needs fixing …when there are much better options out there … Don’t make your life harder.
Wow, you dodged a bullet there
Imo people must set their life in order first, especially man. If he is to take care of his beloved one he has to be equipped (good job, financially stable, simple car, house/home, but it doesn't have to be big at first, even 50m2 flat would do and have it without debt).
He had everything going well for him when we met. He was actually ready to build a life with someone. Then after I came back to Turkey, around 3 years ago now, the following month he became unemployed. And it's almost 3 years but he doesn't have a job. I think he went through some hardships in the process but I agree that not even the woman should think about being with a man who hasn't set things in order. Otherwise men don't feel enough and they become incredibly insecure
Marriage has nothing to do with love.
only for some. not everyone has to go and get married if they don't love the person.
noone is forcing anyone to do so.
Oh hell, he got you to believe that you suffer from “ mood swings”. Shame on him.
No not me. He said he has them.
Atleast youre able to find people who are interested in you. As an ugly man who is 33, ive never met a woman in my life who has ever found me attractive and wanted to date me. Women dont fully understand what it feels like to go theough consant rejection in life, there comes a point when it starts to define you as a person. Noone in my life even cares to help me either. I just try my best to accept im going to be alone forever and get on with it
So you mean you would want a psycho rather than being alone? In that case go get some help
@SueRibelle What happened to you was really bad, but you said you met with 10 really nice people before and I'm sure they liked you. What most ppl don't understand about rejects like me is we have never have ANY experience so all we only experience the longing and emptiness of being unwanted by everyone. I'm very sure you don't understand what this feels like, based on your comment
But this has been a recurring discussion topic. Everybody can work on their looks and charisma and BOOM, your market value increases. You likely didnt do anything and complain. I went through a transformation and lost 100 pounds. Started to take care of my looks and people got interested in me only after that. What are you complaining about?
I can be the last person to not understand what not being wanted is. My life started after 29
Maybe it is time you change yours as well my guy
@@SueRibelle I have always developed myself to my best ability and continue to do so but nothing has ever worked, but at what point do you change so much that you stop being authentically yourself? I have a Masters degree, I travelled the world, I invest my money to save for a house, I work in wildlife conservation, I lift weights and exercise, I treat people with respect and I'm a very good listener. I take care of my appearance and make sure im well presented. I don't know what more I can do other than turning into a completely different person
lol just go on with your life then. sounds like you are almost there
gece gece sonuna kadar izledim. bayağı sıkıntılı biriymiş yazık zamanında nasıl incinmişse, kurtulman iyi olmuş sevindim. onun hak ettiğinin kat be kat fazlasını yapmışsın, o konuda için rahat olsun.
Yok zaten artık bu kadar yipraninca karşı taraftan çok kendimi düşünmem lazımdı. Evet arada paylaşırdı bazı sorunlarını ama hiçbirimiz güllük gülistanlık hayatlardan gelmezken bir çift dinamiginde her şeyi tek taraftan beklememek lazım. Bir şey olacaksa iki taraf da iyi olmalı. Yoksa iyi olan da diğeri kadar bozulmaya başlıyor
what a looser! cry out your pain and go on, look at who he really was, have a final laugh and go on. People find love at every age, there's no rule to love. Be happy with yourself and proud and you will attract a good man. He's a joke
Break contact with him yes a narcissist.
TBH, I thyink mothers should do a better job of preparing daughters and young ladies for the world of dating and marriage. Most women learn from bad edxperiences , so we must do better.
Interesting video…
you are very wise
Smart Woman.
😍🥰❤🩵