Oh you'd be surprised! I've already got a couple comments saying that this video is depressing and I'm going to end up lonely becaue I won't get married or have kids. It's crazy! 😂
I'm almost 29 and have had four miscarriages so I had my tubes removed in January. I made the decision because I couldn't take any more physical or mental trauma. Plus I love being able to live life on my terms and spoiling my fur baby and my nephew
My kids are 22, 18, and 16. You’re absolutely right, they don’t just stop needing you the minute they turn 18. Kudos to you for knowing exactly what you want and who you are, and not being afraid to embrace that. Whatever your choices are they’re yours, and I don’t believe anyone has the right to dissuade you or try and change your mind. I also agree with you in the family hierarchy. It’s me and my husband 1st, then the kids, then everything else. Most people who make the kids the top banana not only have super spoiled asshole kids, but also a shit marriage to boot. Great video and great insight! ❤
Whatever makes you happy is what you should do and people really should stop bothering you with it. It’s none of our business. If you feel fulfilled, then that’s all you need. Kids and marriage don’t fix those things for everyone. A lot of people love it and want it, but no one should be pressured either way
I'm married, but I still very much enjoyed your take on this! I love being married but it is a lot of work. Especially with our own separate work schedules and whatnot, it gets crazy. We were asked about having kids on our wedding day. That was almost 2 years ago. I love my 2 nieces, but my favorite part is giving them back to my sister. It takes a huge toll on your mental health, and it can be very isolating, not to mention the changes to your body! I'm already self-conscious enough about my body and being pregnant, and everything afterward wouldn't help me one bit.
I completely agree. I’m a single mom was married now divorced and it is hell going through court for every little thing and the worst part is watching your kids go through it, the kids always get stuck in the middle and it’s horrible, I completely agree with what you’re saying, enjoy your life and be able to do things you weren’t accomplished things that you want and focus on you,
I feel so sorry for you, my bonus dad is going through the same shit. He has a son who is 9 (almost 10) years old and he has the worst ex wife you can imagine. She lies in court, she tries to palm in their son by trying to tear down my bonus dad. She is the literal worst and you can really see how it affects my bonus brother
I'm 39 and im positive I won't be having any children. For years I thought I wanted them then things happened in my relationships where it turned me off to it. I am open to getting married and settling down. But if it doesn't happen then it's not meant to be and that's okay too. I definitely agree with alot of what you're saying. It doesn't make you a bad person. To me kids aren't the be all end all. There's more to life than having children and getting married.
I don't like it when people think that having a husband and children will make you a complete person. All of us see completeness differently. Not having kids doesn't make us less of a woman.
I absolutely love you and respect your views also you're very brave to voice your views and live up to it. Kudos for that!! There was a time after multiple failed relationships I had decided never to get married instead be in a live-in relationship, which is a big stigma in India. But I have finally met someone who changed my views back and now we are planning our wedding. As for kids I love kids so might have 1 in future. And many people share that key to a happy relationship or marriage is to put your partner before your kids, so you're absolutely right on that part.
I’m so glad you made this video because I grew up never planning on getting married or having kids. I eventually met someone who became my best friend and we got married after several years of dating and contemplating marriage. However, I’m still on the fence about kids, and so is he. I can’t tell you how many times, especially since we’ve been married, people have asked us when we’re having kids or given us parenting advice on kids we don’t have. People have even asked me or my husband if I am pregnant because I don’t drink alcohol, and they’re disappointed when we say no. It’s almost like the more others want us to have kids, the less we want them. We haven’t made a final decision and we have plenty of time, but I hate that above all my other achievements and goals, some people are primarily concerned about me becoming a mom to a human baby (I already have furry babies and I’m very content). You are not alone and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the stance you’ve taken. I applaud you 👏🏼💚❤️
A very good friend of mine has been in a relationship with her boyfriend/partner for almost 30 yrs (she's older than I) and because of the state we live in in the US since they're not married your immediate family gets to decide what happens to you in the event of an emergency (ex. hospitalization/death/etc.) so they went through getting paperwork done so that they could legally decide for their partner what is wanted. It was a hell process but worth it.
I clicked right away! It is so difficult in society to feel this way but I agree 100% with you. I'll be 31 next November and I'm still building a life that I do not want to run away from. And I'm free to do it because I'm childfree and in a very safe 8 year relationship with someone who supports me fully. So thanks for speaking up and normalising a lifestyle of self-discovery and self-love!
honestly it takes a lot for you to come and say these things and i applaud you for that. it takes guts and im happy that you are sticking to what you want🤍 i had my son at 21 now 24 and i don’t regret having him i love him just wish i would’ve waited longer
@@BreeAnn823girl don’t ever be afraid to speak your mind. i had my hysterectomy at 23 now 24 and a lot of people were mad at me over it not being able to have more kids.
I completely see your point. I have been with my bf for 6.5 years. And I’m cool either way. Just not worried about it. He is my person, we are a partnership and I am completely happy as it is. He has kids and I don’t care to have my own. I love kids related to me but don’t want them myself. My animals are my kids and they are enough for me ❤
I never wanted children and marriage is not something I see happening in my life. I can't understand why someone would want to have a child in cruel world. only for it to suffer like the rest of us living.
That's true for some. I know a couple who didn't get along married, they divorced n ended up back together just to being a couple n living together. They're just fine as bf/gf status. Ur entitled to ur thoughts n feelings. Good vid peach. 😊
Since I was a child I always knew that I wasn’t going to have kids, I never even liked baby dolls. So I planed my life as I grew up knowing that I had to take extra care of my health because I know that I am not going to have nobody to “take care” of me in my old age so planning has become my best friend and also being a good person, that is always going to ensure there’s always someone with you, because they enjoy your company and not because they have to.
i personally don't mind marriage, if my partner wanted it i'd probably accept, but i totally agree with you about having kids, i appreciate my individualism as a person too much to just put myself aside and raise someone else who is completely dependent on me. i can't think of any reason why being a mother would improve my life, but i can give you hundreds of reasons why i know i wouldn't live a happy life if i decided to have children
I get it. I was in a 8 year relationship and it was great but we kept getting bugged about getting married so we were going to try it. The marriage didn't happen because planning was TOO stressful so we called it off then we broke up less than two years later..."If it's not broke, don't fix it" is right!
Hitting 15 years with my bf in September and there have been so many perks to not being married that I’m not sure we’ll ever do it and I’m never bringing children into this world lol
I’m 20 but been watching you on and off since I was a kiddo (13) back when I got my first nostril piercing WHICH I STILL HAVE 😅 and I’ve always loved how sure you were of yourself and how fact of the matter you are about stuff. whether it was about your piercings or just about anything. I just admired that and always felt that’s how I wanted to be. obviously I’m here checking back after a little bit, I clicked on this thinking “oh this gonna be good” and omg I was right. I agree completely, SO much. I mean I think my generation as a whole now are all in agreement of this but even growing up, I never had any dreams of getting married or having kids. I just only had plans and feelings about myself, what I wanted to do for myself. the couch potato comment is so me as well. I am not and will never be in the right situation to care for kids. and the thought of being a “traditional wife” and picking up after a guy that I’m legally bound to, that sounds like my nightmare. unless I can guarantee that he’ll pick up after me as I do with him, but that’s not possible. I just love this new power that women have to say no to these things, especially on an international level. like the whole “loneliness epidemic” with men is crazy but I love it. I feel blessed to be becoming an adult in this era.
I am married but will not be having kids. I did keep my last name which I feel is sometimes judged by others. I personally do not feel that marriage is "more" work or "harder". However, my husband and I have been together for a total of 15 years and only married for 1 and a half of them. We felt like we were already married. I agree that many people rush into it. As for kids, I do like them and thought I wanted them at one point. Working with kids though has made me realize I have no desire to have my own. I also think this world is messed up enough and don't want to worry about bringing them into the world.
I'm married and have two kids with my husband. It's isn't always easy and you make some valid points as to us growing up and being programmed to get married and have the kids. But I honestly always wanted this life and not mad at you or anyone else not wanting kids or marriage every one is different
I’ve been in a commitment relationship and I’ve was the same way I’ve never wanted a kid I was always that person that said I’ll never have a kid now I’m realizing if I ever get married I want at least one with my partner. Being a mother can empower you from many moms I’ve heard from in real life . I still support your channel btw 😁
I so agree about the kids thing. I will NEVER have kids. Literally everything you said, I can relate. And good for us for recognizing that! Because I don’t think some people do… until it’s too late.
I'm a man and I get the same thing all the time regarding people asking me when I'm having kids or getting marries. I can only imagine how much that must be amplified for a woman. I've never been married or had any kids amd im totally happy with my decisions.
I agree with you 100%. I’ve never wanted children and I’ve come to the conclusion that marriage also isn’t for me. It’s still difficult not to feel like an outsider when all of my colleagues are married with kids. It’s sad that even though I’m confident in my decisions, I still feel that societal pressure in the back of my mind. It’s like it never totally goes away.
I’m watching this after watching another video of a young woman describing having her first baby, having kids myself, and I applaud young women today for making decisions that serve them and not being apologetic about it. I have two teen daughters and I don’t expect them to get married or have kids unless they want to. Love them all the same. ❤
One thing I think no one talks about is what you potentially may pass down to your children. for me, i never wanted kids because seeing my mom and myself deal with severe depression and all of the cancers that run through my family, alcoholism that runs through my family, i didn’t want to continue that curse and curse a child with said issues. unfortunately i fell in love as a teenager and ended up pregnant and now I have an almost 10 year old. im 27, about to be 28 in September and I don’t plan on having anymore kids. i just don’t want them to deal with the same feelings i have. i completely agree with you on all this… i would’ve never had a kid to begin with , but she’s here and i do what i can. only thing i can do now is not have anymore kids. as far as marriage, i don’t believe in love to be honest… i’ve seen my parents be married for 30 years, but it meant nothing, they constantly fought and called the cops on one another. i just don’t believe in it… i think it’s mainly a religious thing orrrr it’s solely a financial benefit of some sort. and i am not religious in any way. so girl, i think us women are waking up and realizing we don’t have to do these things, nor should we. i think we should be free humans to do whatever makes us happy.
I am married with 2 (adopted) kids. Not having kids when you don't want them is the most selfless thing you can do. Having a kid out of obligation will absolutely have negative effects on the child. They are tiny little sponges, and they can tell when they aren't wholeheartedly wanted. I completely agree with everything you said! I love how respectful you were about everyone else having their own path in life. I think marriage is a serious thing, and I agree with you about how it seems really common for people to be getting married to people they maybe should have known longer before getting married. (Granted, I've known my husband for over a decade, so maybe I'm just biased hahaha). I really appreciated hearing your thoughts on all of this, and I hope it quiets down the chatter from people who were always asking. ❤
As a man I definitely agree with you on the divorce part. I definitely don't wanna deal with divorce. As for kids, I don't want any at all. the court system is broken when it comes with divorce and kids.
My husband and I have been together since we were 14 (We are both early 30s now). I think maybe because we've been together for so long marriage didn't change our relationship. We lived together before hand, split bills and groceries, nothing really changed. Our wedding was very expensive though, I would’ve much rather used that money for a down payment on a house. We've learned and grown together. As for kids, I have been saying since I was a teenager that I did not want them and I have not changed my mind. Being and only child I had "Only Child Syndrome" where I loved not having to share my parent's attention, as I got into high school and got my Driver's License I could borrow my parent's car and didn't have to worry about picking a sibling up or taking them to dance, karate, etc. I was selfish back then, and not going to lie, I still am as an adult. I am selfish with my time, with my money. I like spending my money on things that my husband and I like to do. I like my peace and quiet. I like my sleep lol. Kids are expensive and they do not deserve selfish parents. I'm just not ready to give that up and I don't think I will ever be. We have a Husky and he takes up a lot of our time, and talks back so we basically have a kid lol
Very true and good valid points ! My whole life I wanted kids and to get married. I got engaged when I was 21 of a guy I was dating for 5 years. Then he cheated on me. I honestly hate like everyone on this earth and I can’t trust anyone. Some days I want to get married and have kids and other days I don’t. I’m now starting to realize neither one of those things are for me since I have too many health conditions. I would never want to burden my children with the same health issues. I’m 30 years old now and it’s difficult to look at everyone moving forward when I’m just stuck in place. But marriage and kids aren’t for everyone. I’m honestly too selfish to put myself through that!🖤🖤
I'm in my late twenties. I've never really cared about having kids or marriage. I don't have any siblings. I know how to enjoy myself without having to have other people around. I like my money to be mine. I like my space. I like my own freedom. I love this video.
Great points. I got into a relationship at 14 and I am still with the same person 11 years later. I got pregnant at 19 with my first daughter, she just turned 6 on the 7th of July. My second daughter was born in 2021. She will be 3 on August 1st. We are engaged but I don’t see a marriage happening for quite some time. Getting married is expensive and my kids are already expensive enough 😂 but one day maybe, but for now I’m cool with just being his fiancée ❤ I’m also in college to become a medical assistant, and he works full time; 16hr a day. We definitely have a full plate. So I agree with your decision. You made very great points!
I'm a single mom of 2 and I don't blame anyone for not wanting marriage or kids. Marriage scares me to death and I'm super protective of my kids so I don't foresee myself getting married
I think having kids and being married is nice, my parents have been married and obviously had kids and you know I see the beauty in it. Being infertile and been in long relationships without ever being engaged or married I honestly just think you can find the beauty in both sides. I’m in the idea that if it happens it happens but if it doesn’t as long as I’m happy that’s all that matters. People especially women are allowed to live the life they want. They can break the mold or stay in it but your happiness should always come first ❤
Bree, thank you so much for saying these things out loud! It was like i was listening to my own thoughts. 😅 You are really brave and i love your attitude. Greetings from germany!
I am married with four kids and I have a stepdaughter which makes five. Both are big commitments. Some families have shity parents and some families have not so great kids. In the world we live in today, some kids could be very ungrateful and I'm going through that now. I always wanted marriage but it's hard work. Some people have it easier than others. I respect what you're saying.🖤
Im open to marriage but I've decided since I was 18 (I'm 25 now) that I'm not having kids. I like my freedom and I like my money. I can barely afford to pay back my student loans so how can I even care for a child? My mom has pretty much accepted that she'll be grandparent to a dog. My dad on the other hand keeps saying "oh you'll change your mind". Yeah no, it's not happening. I have a brother, he can be the one to have kids if he wants to. The pressure does not have to fall on me and it won't.
I myself have always wanted to get married and have kids. As a child I dreamt of having a marriage and children of my own. And for me ‘wife’ sounds better than ‘girlfriend’ for the rest of my life. I had a miscarriage two years ago and I was devastated when it happened. That miscarriage changed me. You do make a good point when it comes to children tearing apart a relationship. I feel my step son and my boyfriend do this. I end up feeling like I’m just an option a lot of the time and that I was never a priority before I started to get to spend time with the kids. And he always seems to end up rewarding the kid for misbehaving. He’ll start to discipline the kid and then all of a sudden he’s letting the kid do what he just told him 10 minutes ago he can’t do or he’ll buy him something the kid doesn’t even deserve. Don’t get me wrong I love my step kids, but I don’t get that time with my boyfriend that I use to have because he now has this kid full time because the mother decided to up and move to another city and left her kids behind. She’s back, but he’s still got him full time. And I mean these kids aren’t even his biological kids. My boyfriend has never had his own kids aside from the one we have non earth side, but he did look after his sister a lot of the time growing up. Although I still want to get married and have kids, but I don’t even know if we can have kids. It took us a while for me to even get pregnant before I miscarried and we’re still having a hard time getting me pregnant. But then again it’s hard to even be able to get that time when my step son is around full time. And lately I’ve been staying at my parents because my mom has breast cancer -she had her mastectomy June 20th and I’ve been helping her around the apartment all while my dad has been in the hospital and he will be going into long term care.
I completelt understand your opinion! I am a married women and want kids and my husband and I have been trying for almost 8 years. We would be married for 7 this August. Your relationship with your partner married or not should always be top priority.
Some people are just meant to be parents, I don’t hate kids, but I just know myself, I could never be a parent. It’s the hardest job, the most responsibility, you have to postpone your own life to give everything to your child. That’s what would make the best parent, I just couldn’t do it myself. I have so much respect for people who can be amazing parents, it’s just not me.
Been married once and that whole relationship changed after we said I do. I don’t think I want to go through that again. And the kids I’m not supposed to have them so I don’t want to risk my life for a child. I don’t even want to bring a child into this crazy dangerous, government world ( if you know) it’s fucked up. Love you your amazing
Sounds a lot like you are scared of risks. However its also good that you are honest about the things you want in your life. At the end of the day it’s your life.
I definitely have a wall up with people too. I am no contact with my parents as they were very abusive in every way. So, at 19, I had been moved out and felt alone. I wanted a baby. My boyfriend was living with me at the time. I told him I wanted one and he said we'd have to get married first. My response was "Well, when we getting married? Cause I want a baby so you can either set a date or move out." We got married. It was 6 months after we met and started dating. 2 months later, I was pregnant. Now, we've been married over 15 years, our child is 14, and we're happy. I'm actually completely in love with him now where I never had that emotional feeling in the beginning years or with anyone else. I feel like we just got extremely lucky. Our child currently never wants to move out unless she meets someone and wants to live with them. Which, that's fine. She's cool. 😆 We wanted more children, but it wasn't an option for me to have more. We were going to take foster care classes but because of my mental health diagnosis (caused by my upbringing) I do not qualify for it. It makes me sad, but I have learned to be happy with what I have. I'm able to push out any "the grass is greener..." thoughts and just enjoy life as it is. I totally respect anyone's decision in not having kids. I just wish I could help the kids that aren't wanted because I love them. 💔
Girl same to these topics and I changed my mind too over the years on marriage. I don't want it anymore. Never wanted kids only to possibly foster. You do you 💯 ❤
As someone who has kids and is married I get it. It isn’t for everyone. I have 3 kiddos. But it def hasn’t been easy. And I respect anyone who doesnt want that. Bree I swear you could post anything I’d support ya girl
A very interesting video. I agree with you on most points, especially the point that you have to REALLY want to have kids if you have them. There's no half hearted option.
I absolutely love and agreed on everything on this video. Except the one being around kids. I have grandson that i absolutely adore. People can be together for years and years. Not married or engaged people wonder why they aint. I never wanted to be married or have kid's. Also when people get married one of them mainly the female doesnt have her own money or bank account when they get divorced women is fucked. Always have your own money and bank account. Not attacking people who are married. I have 5 dogs that love me and my man unconditionally.
Your opinion on these topics are so valid! I literally get so much back lash from people because I don't want kids. And its crazy to me because how does that even affect anyone lol?
I have a kiddo, always wanted one! But you’re right about how it changes you, and it changes your WHOLE life I’ve been preaching to people who have the “baby fever” everyone needs to be able to understand that that will happen!
Absolutely! People only think about the beautiful little baby who smells amazing and is cute as a button, but they never ever think about the long-term of what's actually coming and if they can handle that.
I definitely agree that the relationship is number 1 then the kid! When couples become empty-nesters and the romance fizzled out long ago, you're just stuck in a relationship that lost its sparkle. Plus, if the relationship comes first, it teaches the kid expectations about romance and partnership by leading by example.
Definitely never wanted kids and never will. I'm 41 now and my husband had a vasectomy a couple of years ago. We both never wanted kids. But marrying my best friend was absolutely amazing ! I would do it again and again! We were together 8 years before getting married and have been married for 5 years now.
Nothing wrong with not wanting what's considered "normal". Growing up I could care less about either, then when I was a teenager I knew I didn't want kids because I was too selfish so no way would I be able to care for another child. I'm now almost 40 still with the same guy from high school married with two kids, I had to grow up before kids were right for me. No I'm not trying to change anyone's mind this is just what happened to me. Now I'm freaking out that I just said I'm almost 40 😢
Apparently Gypsy rose is now expecting her first child. Everyone is entitled to and can have their own opinions on it but this to me is very scary. Gypsy has had a rough life, and i understand why people want to get married and have kids but she has not gotten to experience life. Meaning the real world and one of the most life changing things anyone can do in this world is have children. I don’t know what kind of mother she will be. No one knows that. I wish her the best. I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve to have kids and it’s not my place to say whether or not someone should get married or have kids it’s just my opinion. You made some great points in this video. I could never or will never rush into having kids. Kids are a lifetime commitment and not one to take lightly. There is no sign out window when it comes to being a parent nor should there be because you made a decision to have that child or children. There is nothing wrong with having kids; however there is also nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids. The issue I see is when people have kids and then after they have kids they then decide maybe they shouldn’t have had kids. Which to me is insanely irresponsible and selfish. A human life is never anything to take lightly. I would rather openly say that I don’t want kids then to have kids and not be a responsible parent that that child needs and deserves to have. I’m not saying i myself don’t want children but what I am saying is I don’t take that topic lightly as no one should. I do not feel sorry for anyone that has children and doesn’t have the means to care for them because they made that choice to have kids. No matter how the child was conceived, if a person decides to go through with having a child or children that is solely on them. Regardless of how that life was created. If it’s one thing I can’t stand is when a child or children suffer simply because their parent or parents aren’t responsible
I will never have children. My bf has 3 (teenagers now) and that's enough for me, I love them as their my own. Now marriage...I wouldn't be opposed to...but I don't like the legal ties and paperwork that goes with it. Have you heard of a celebration of commitment? It's makes much more sense to me!!! ❤ I absolutely love how real you are and honest about yourself. You don't need a ring and children to have a complete life. If you & your partner are content and happy with the way your life is together, thats all that matters!! ❤️❤️
I definitely agree everyone doesn’t need to get married to know they love someone and we all don’t have to have kids. Some are meant to others aren’t. However children should be as much a priority as as spouse because that’s your family and if two people have kids you should be as focused on them as you are your spouse. Multiple people can be your top priority at the same time. I do think it’s unhealthy to focus on so much on only one relationship and not put effort into any others like friendships for example. But it’s important to have a strong healthy relationship with your kids as well as in a romantic relationship (married or not) so I agree and disagree with you but I think these are really important topics to talk about.
Completely understand, I came to a similar conclusion very young actually. No idea why but I knew it all wasn't for me, I joined the Navy and saw the world instead... now as I'm past childbearing age I still feel the same. You do get a lot of pressure from family, understandably though as they want to see the line continue. I wish you all the best, it's a strong decision but the right one for some.
Even though I disagree with you, I respect your opinions and appreciate your honesty. Thankfully as a mom and wife I haven’t experienced the fears you mentioned but I also know that’s not the case for everyone.
I get so much shit for saying that kids shouldnt be #1 priority. My parents did that with me and my brother. Now they’re empty nesters living with a complete stranger.
It's like you took the words right out of my mouth!!! Literally everything you said is EXACTLY how I feel! I'm 27, I'll be 28 in September (Virgo gang ♍️) and I love my niece and everything obviously but I could NEVER see myself having kids... I can't lol they're too much. I get overwhelmed and overstimulated easily with kids
I totally feel this, my life feels stagnant, Ive been single for a long time and am just waiting for the right person. I'm also really lazy(ex: eating meals when I want to) but also independent and like being alone now. The feeling does creep in tho when I do see other ppl living their lives. I do want kids but it did take me a long time to know how to talk to them. I work at a library where they're everywhere and theirs programs daily and boy does it get loud and overwhelming.
I wanted kids when i was younger and then I’ve seen my niece and nephew growing up, and my friend give birth, I said hell no, I’m definitely not having kids and before that I went through cancer and I cannot have any, so that solidified that I don’t want any kids, I love them, but don’t want any of my own and I’m okay with that
Marriages crumble mostly when kids are involved because the men feel forgotten about because then kids get all the attention but I'm happy as a single mom all besides my finances. That's a proven fact.
I don't really care to get married. I fear I'll get cheated on again, (always do). Also, weddings are expensive, and I am not into spending that kind of money. If I were POSITIVE that I wouldn't get cheated on, and felt safe with my sig. other, than I would have a small budget wedding. But I, like you, will NEVER trust anyone that much. I am most secure by myself, like you are. I have my kids, and I wouldn't change that. However marriage is a hard pass.
When I was younger I always wanted 10 kids. No husband. My number is still 10. I could NEVER understand why people never want kids. My now husband and and I have 5 kids. 5 and under. Now that I have kids...I get it. I love my kids with everything. But my anxiety has been so bad since having children. Worried about money, raising them right, the world we live in now is just scary, you can't just get up and go you have to get the kids ready, you have to fight so much harder to keep your relationship healthy because you're so focused on pouring all of yourself into these tiny beings that by the end of the day you're so worn out you don't even make time for each other. I definitely agree. Relationship comes first. We've luckily got to that point now but it took awhile to get there.
I hate it when people ask me about marriage and kids. I don’t even have a boyfriend and I’m okay with that. I don’t need that drama. I used to want to have kids but as I’ve gotten older my opinion has drastically changed. As I’ve gotten older and am seeing all the things going on in the world I feel like I’d be being very selfish bringing another human being into it. Especially with the things kids face at school and out in public. Parents should be able to send their kids to school and expect them to be safe. And with the things we’ve seen in recent years with shootings, teachers being pedos, human and s*x trafficking and all the other shit going on. Then there’s the health issues I’ve had regarding the ability to have kids. I had to have a hysterectomy because of them. I figured if meant to have kids I’ll be adopting. But at 42 I doubt that’s going to happen. And I’m okay either way that. But trying to explain that to other people is easier said than done.
I don't know how I feel about marriage, it isn't important to my life to be married even though it might be financially positive. But what I'm sure of is that I'm never gonna have kids. When I was young I always said when I'm x years old, I'm gonna have kids. And I always wanted (if I had kids) to be a young mom, so anything later than 35 and I wouldn't wanna be a mom. Now I'm 32 and I don't feel it. I don't wanna be responsible for a kid for 18+ years. I don't even have my own life settled. How would I if I had kids? So I plan on getting sterilized this year or in 2025. Whenever my period is late and I had a year when it basically always missed a month and I'd have my period only every 2 months. I always, especially in the beginning, was so panicky I might be pregnant that I realized I don't want that. In my head I was always 100% positive I'd have an abortion if I were to be pregnant and I still feel that way. And to emd all this and be absolutely sure I'm never gonna get pregnant, I wanna be sterilized.
I'm also not ever having kids but I got married on 2019 when I thought I never would been with my significant other for going on almost 9 years and be married for almost 5 years
I feel the exact same way as you do about kids, I never liked them but I ended up with one of my own. I love him unconditionally, but you are right when you say you aren’t the same person after kids. My life revolves around my son and sometimes it’s very stressful not being able to go anywhere without needing a babysitter. I miss when I could nap and work whenever I wanted to!! I definitely never plan on having another unless I find a good man that will be there for the child they created. I never recommend having kids to anyone 😅
I have kids and i totally agree with this, unless you're like 200% sure - dont do it! Also not married to my kids father and not seeing it happen, maybe in the future for paperworks just FOR the kids if something happens to us.
I love this for you. I chose the path of marriage and kids. And it's not easy! I started dating my husband at 14 and we got married when I was 19. We had kids by 20. And combining finances and sacrificing for each other so I can be home with our kids is really hard. We had to establish roles and responsibilities. Hes working full time and I have to do the house stuff. There's a whole battle there because we never agree. I feel like I should have more help, he feels like he's running himself thin working. And it's a lot harder than when we were dating. I wanted kids so bad. Always have. I knew I wanted that. But it came with a lot of personal growth! Like more than I thought. I have to regulate my emotions better , I have to make sure they are eating well when I'm not even eating well. The money of having kids isn't bad because we have good insurance and the more kids you have the more state help we get. Meaning not that my kids are a paycheck, but having another won't cause me more financial stress. I have my one son. And pregnant with my second. I am so attached to him now, I grieve him leaving someday and having his own family. Those resentment things you were talking about, 100 percent a fear! I will do my best but I'm not perfect and if they chose to not be around me older. I will be devastated. It's a love you can't ever replicate. I feel you. I understand you and all of your feelings are valid. ❤ It's a lot and not for everything. Definitely an easier path to not have these responsibilities. And I think it's just a personal choice whether you want that responsibility or not.
I appreciate your honesty and openness. I support you 100% Be you!!!! ❤❤❤ Fun fact: when I was younger, other people’s children made me feel awkward too…. Now I have a 1 and 2 year old and they have given me a strength and deepest love I didn’t know ever existed. They are my world! (Just my opinion on my life ) Also yes, want unconditional love? “Get a dog!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Again, I support you 100% and I think you’re pretty damn amazing!
i agree with you saying that when you have kids, the parents forget that they’re still dating, or even without kids too once a couple is together for a long amount of time it’s like they forget they’re a couple. i think it just depends on the couple, and if they each want to try for the other. idk how to explain it right lol
Anyone who is married or has kids to be offended by anyone elses choices blows my mind.
Oh you'd be surprised! I've already got a couple comments saying that this video is depressing and I'm going to end up lonely becaue I won't get married or have kids. It's crazy! 😂
I'm almost 29 and have had four miscarriages so I had my tubes removed in January. I made the decision because I couldn't take any more physical or mental trauma. Plus I love being able to live life on my terms and spoiling my fur baby and my nephew
My kids are 22, 18, and 16. You’re absolutely right, they don’t just stop needing you the minute they turn 18. Kudos to you for knowing exactly what you want and who you are, and not being afraid to embrace that. Whatever your choices are they’re yours, and I don’t believe anyone has the right to dissuade you or try and change your mind. I also agree with you in the family hierarchy. It’s me and my husband 1st, then the kids, then everything else. Most people who make the kids the top banana not only have super spoiled asshole kids, but also a shit marriage to boot. Great video and great insight! ❤
Whatever makes you happy is what you should do and people really should stop bothering you with it. It’s none of our business. If you feel fulfilled, then that’s all you need. Kids and marriage don’t fix those things for everyone. A lot of people love it and want it, but no one should be pressured either way
I'm married, but I still very much enjoyed your take on this! I love being married but it is a lot of work. Especially with our own separate work schedules and whatnot, it gets crazy. We were asked about having kids on our wedding day. That was almost 2 years ago. I love my 2 nieces, but my favorite part is giving them back to my sister. It takes a huge toll on your mental health, and it can be very isolating, not to mention the changes to your body! I'm already self-conscious enough about my body and being pregnant, and everything afterward wouldn't help me one bit.
This is the most honest video I've watched in a long time, and i appreciate it!
You look beautiful as always Bree 🖤
Thank you so much!!
I completely agree. I’m a single mom was married now divorced and it is hell going through court for every little thing and the worst part is watching your kids go through it, the kids always get stuck in the middle and it’s horrible, I completely agree with what you’re saying, enjoy your life and be able to do things you weren’t accomplished things that you want and focus on you,
I feel so sorry for you, my bonus dad is going through the same shit. He has a son who is 9 (almost 10) years old and he has the worst ex wife you can imagine. She lies in court, she tries to palm in their son by trying to tear down my bonus dad. She is the literal worst and you can really see how it affects my bonus brother
Definitely never having kids. I never thought I'd get married but I did almost 10 years ago
I'm 39 and im positive I won't be having any children. For years I thought I wanted them then things happened in my relationships where it turned me off to it. I am open to getting married and settling down. But if it doesn't happen then it's not meant to be and that's okay too.
I definitely agree with alot of what you're saying. It doesn't make you a bad person. To me kids aren't the be all end all. There's more to life than having children and getting married.
I just posted about this on Reddit. Marriage free and childfree here. Let's form a community. We need the support. :)
As you said, it's your thoughts. No judgement!!! I have 3 children yet not married, my choice 😊😊😊 It's a personal choice❤❤❤ Fully respectful ❤❤❤
Definitely never having kids! Nothing is wrong with that either and I’m happy with that decision. Love hearing your opinions!!
I don't like it when people think that having a husband and children will make you a complete person. All of us see completeness differently. Not having kids doesn't make us less of a woman.
I absolutely love you and respect your views also you're very brave to voice your views and live up to it. Kudos for that!! There was a time after multiple failed relationships I had decided never to get married instead be in a live-in relationship, which is a big stigma in India. But I have finally met someone who changed my views back and now we are planning our wedding. As for kids I love kids so might have 1 in future. And many people share that key to a happy relationship or marriage is to put your partner before your kids, so you're absolutely right on that part.
I’m so glad you made this video because I grew up never planning on getting married or having kids. I eventually met someone who became my best friend and we got married after several years of dating and contemplating marriage. However, I’m still on the fence about kids, and so is he. I can’t tell you how many times, especially since we’ve been married, people have asked us when we’re having kids or given us parenting advice on kids we don’t have. People have even asked me or my husband if I am pregnant because I don’t drink alcohol, and they’re disappointed when we say no. It’s almost like the more others want us to have kids, the less we want them. We haven’t made a final decision and we have plenty of time, but I hate that above all my other achievements and goals, some people are primarily concerned about me becoming a mom to a human baby (I already have furry babies and I’m very content). You are not alone and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the stance you’ve taken. I applaud you 👏🏼💚❤️
A very good friend of mine has been in a relationship with her boyfriend/partner for almost 30 yrs (she's older than I) and because of the state we live in in the US since they're not married your immediate family gets to decide what happens to you in the event of an emergency (ex. hospitalization/death/etc.) so they went through getting paperwork done so that they could legally decide for their partner what is wanted. It was a hell process but worth it.
I clicked right away! It is so difficult in society to feel this way but I agree 100% with you. I'll be 31 next November and I'm still building a life that I do not want to run away from. And I'm free to do it because I'm childfree and in a very safe 8 year relationship with someone who supports me fully. So thanks for speaking up and normalising a lifestyle of self-discovery and self-love!
honestly it takes a lot for you to come and say these things and i applaud you for that. it takes guts and im happy that you are sticking to what you want🤍 i had my son at 21 now 24 and i don’t regret having him i love him just wish i would’ve waited longer
I was nervous af to upload this because some women get very very angry when I speak my opinion on this. Lol But I'm glad I did!
@@BreeAnn823girl don’t ever be afraid to speak your mind. i had my hysterectomy at 23 now 24 and a lot of people were mad at me over it not being able to have more kids.
I completely see your point. I have been with my bf for 6.5 years. And I’m cool either way. Just not worried about it. He is my person, we are a partnership and I am completely happy as it is.
He has kids and I don’t care to have my own. I love kids related to me but don’t want them myself. My animals are my kids and they are enough for me ❤
Exactly how I feel! I'm just chill with it! Haha
AMEN! agree with all you said!
Loved that you talked about this. I have no kids and just got divorced. Divorce is so expensive.
I never wanted children and marriage is not something I see happening in my life. I can't understand why someone would want to have a child in cruel world. only for it to suffer like the rest of us living.
That's true for some. I know a couple who didn't get along married, they divorced n ended up back together just to being a couple n living together. They're just fine as bf/gf status. Ur entitled to ur thoughts n feelings. Good vid peach. 😊
As someone who wants both of these things, I am intrigued and SAT!
Since I was a child I always knew that I wasn’t going to have kids, I never even liked baby dolls.
So I planed my life as I grew up knowing that I had to take extra care of my health because I know that I am not going to have nobody to “take care” of me in my old age so planning has become my best friend and also being a good person, that is always going to ensure there’s always someone with you, because they enjoy your company and not because they have to.
I’m finally catching up on the backlog of videos in my watch later list. I love you 🫶
Finally someone who makes a video on this topic. I feel SEEN!!! I couldn't agree more! things I've been saying for YEARS!! Thank you BreeAnn ❤️❤️❤️❤️
You're so welcome! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
i personally don't mind marriage, if my partner wanted it i'd probably accept, but i totally agree with you about having kids, i appreciate my individualism as a person too much to just put myself aside and raise someone else who is completely dependent on me. i can't think of any reason why being a mother would improve my life, but i can give you hundreds of reasons why i know i wouldn't live a happy life if i decided to have children
I get it. I was in a 8 year relationship and it was great but we kept getting bugged about getting married so we were going to try it. The marriage didn't happen because planning was TOO stressful so we called it off then we broke up less than two years later..."If it's not broke, don't fix it" is right!
Hitting 15 years with my bf in September and there have been so many perks to not being married that I’m not sure we’ll ever do it and I’m never bringing children into this world lol
Preach!!!! 🙌🙌🙌 This world is terrifying I can't imagine being a kid in it right now.
I’m 20 but been watching you on and off since I was a kiddo (13) back when I got my first nostril piercing WHICH I STILL HAVE 😅 and I’ve always loved how sure you were of yourself and how fact of the matter you are about stuff. whether it was about your piercings or just about anything. I just admired that and always felt that’s how I wanted to be. obviously I’m here checking back after a little bit, I clicked on this thinking “oh this gonna be good” and omg I was right. I agree completely, SO much. I mean I think my generation as a whole now are all in agreement of this but even growing up, I never had any dreams of getting married or having kids. I just only had plans and feelings about myself, what I wanted to do for myself. the couch potato comment is so me as well. I am not and will never be in the right situation to care for kids. and the thought of being a “traditional wife” and picking up after a guy that I’m legally bound to, that sounds like my nightmare. unless I can guarantee that he’ll pick up after me as I do with him, but that’s not possible. I just love this new power that women have to say no to these things, especially on an international level. like the whole “loneliness epidemic” with men is crazy but I love it. I feel blessed to be becoming an adult in this era.
I am married but will not be having kids. I did keep my last name which I feel is sometimes judged by others. I personally do not feel that marriage is "more" work or "harder". However, my husband and I have been together for a total of 15 years and only married for 1 and a half of them. We felt like we were already married. I agree that many people rush into it. As for kids, I do like them and thought I wanted them at one point. Working with kids though has made me realize I have no desire to have my own. I also think this world is messed up enough and don't want to worry about bringing them into the world.
Thank you BreeAnnBarbie! You literally took the words out of my mouth. I literally thought I was the only one who doesn’t want kids
I'm married and have two kids with my husband. It's isn't always easy and you make some valid points as to us growing up and being programmed to get married and have the kids. But I honestly always wanted this life and not mad at you or anyone else not wanting kids or marriage every one is different
I’ve been in a commitment relationship and I’ve was the same way I’ve never wanted a kid I was always that person that said I’ll never have a kid now I’m realizing if I ever get married I want at least one with my partner. Being a mother can empower you from many moms I’ve heard from in real life . I still support your channel btw 😁
I so agree about the kids thing. I will NEVER have kids. Literally everything you said, I can relate. And good for us for recognizing that! Because I don’t think some people do… until it’s too late.
totally agree...i feel none of my friends have survived marriages, all divorces...it just totally changes people sometimes.
“Get a dog” is so realllll 😂❤
I'm a man and I get the same thing all the time regarding people asking me when I'm having kids or getting marries. I can only imagine how much that must be amplified for a woman. I've never been married or had any kids amd im totally happy with my decisions.
I agree with you 100%. I’ve never wanted children and I’ve come to the conclusion that marriage also isn’t for me. It’s still difficult not to feel like an outsider when all of my colleagues are married with kids. It’s sad that even though I’m confident in my decisions, I still feel that societal pressure in the back of my mind. It’s like it never totally goes away.
I’m watching this after watching another video of a young woman describing having her first baby, having kids myself, and I applaud young women today for making decisions that serve them and not being apologetic about it. I have two teen daughters and I don’t expect them to get married or have kids unless they want to. Love them all the same. ❤
One thing I think no one talks about is what you potentially may pass down to your children. for me, i never wanted kids because seeing my mom and myself deal with severe depression and all of the cancers that run through my family, alcoholism that runs through my family, i didn’t want to continue that curse and curse a child with said issues. unfortunately i fell in love as a teenager and ended up pregnant and now I have an almost 10 year old. im 27, about to be 28 in September and I don’t plan on having anymore kids. i just don’t want them to deal with the same feelings i have.
i completely agree with you on all this… i would’ve never had a kid to begin with , but she’s here and i do what i can. only thing i can do now is not have anymore kids.
as far as marriage, i don’t believe in love to be honest… i’ve seen my parents be married for 30 years, but it meant nothing, they constantly fought and called the cops on one another. i just don’t believe in it… i think it’s mainly a religious thing orrrr it’s solely a financial benefit of some sort. and i am not religious in any way. so girl, i think us women are waking up and realizing we don’t have to do these things, nor should we. i think we should be free humans to do whatever makes us happy.
I am married with 2 (adopted) kids. Not having kids when you don't want them is the most selfless thing you can do. Having a kid out of obligation will absolutely have negative effects on the child. They are tiny little sponges, and they can tell when they aren't wholeheartedly wanted. I completely agree with everything you said! I love how respectful you were about everyone else having their own path in life. I think marriage is a serious thing, and I agree with you about how it seems really common for people to be getting married to people they maybe should have known longer before getting married. (Granted, I've known my husband for over a decade, so maybe I'm just biased hahaha). I really appreciated hearing your thoughts on all of this, and I hope it quiets down the chatter from people who were always asking. ❤
As a man I definitely agree with you on the divorce part. I definitely don't wanna deal with divorce. As for kids, I don't want any at all. the court system is broken when it comes with divorce and kids.
My husband and I have been together since we were 14 (We are both early 30s now). I think maybe because we've been together for so long marriage didn't change our relationship. We lived together before hand, split bills and groceries, nothing really changed. Our wedding was very expensive though, I would’ve much rather used that money for a down payment on a house. We've learned and grown together. As for kids, I have been saying since I was a teenager that I did not want them and I have not changed my mind. Being and only child I had "Only Child Syndrome" where I loved not having to share my parent's attention, as I got into high school and got my Driver's License I could borrow my parent's car and didn't have to worry about picking a sibling up or taking them to dance, karate, etc. I was selfish back then, and not going to lie, I still am as an adult. I am selfish with my time, with my money. I like spending my money on things that my husband and I like to do. I like my peace and quiet. I like my sleep lol. Kids are expensive and they do not deserve selfish parents. I'm just not ready to give that up and I don't think I will ever be. We have a Husky and he takes up a lot of our time, and talks back so we basically have a kid lol
Very true and good valid points ! My whole life I wanted kids and to get married. I got engaged when I was 21 of a guy I was dating for 5 years. Then he cheated on me. I honestly hate like everyone on this earth and I can’t trust anyone. Some days I want to get married and have kids and other days I don’t. I’m now starting to realize neither one of those things are for me since I have too many health conditions. I would never want to burden my children with the same health issues. I’m 30 years old now and it’s difficult to look at everyone moving forward when I’m just stuck in place. But marriage and kids aren’t for everyone. I’m honestly too selfish to put myself through that!🖤🖤
I'm in my late twenties. I've never really cared about having kids or marriage. I don't have any siblings. I know how to enjoy myself without having to have other people around. I like my money to be mine. I like my space. I like my own freedom. I love this video.
Great points. I got into a relationship at 14 and I am still with the same person 11 years later. I got pregnant at 19 with my first daughter, she just turned 6 on the 7th of July. My second daughter was born in 2021. She will be 3 on August 1st. We are engaged but I don’t see a marriage happening for quite some time. Getting married is expensive and my kids are already expensive enough 😂 but one day maybe, but for now I’m cool with just being his fiancée ❤ I’m also in college to become a medical assistant, and he works full time; 16hr a day. We definitely have a full plate. So I agree with your decision. You made very great points!
I'm a single mom of 2 and I don't blame anyone for not wanting marriage or kids. Marriage scares me to death and I'm super protective of my kids so I don't foresee myself getting married
I think having kids and being married is nice, my parents have been married and obviously had kids and you know I see the beauty in it. Being infertile and been in long relationships without ever being engaged or married I honestly just think you can find the beauty in both sides. I’m in the idea that if it happens it happens but if it doesn’t as long as I’m happy that’s all that matters. People especially women are allowed to live the life they want. They can break the mold or stay in it but your happiness should always come first ❤
We definitely share the same thoughts. Thank you so much for this video!! 🖤
Bree, thank you so much for saying these things out loud! It was like i was listening to my own thoughts. 😅
You are really brave and i love your attitude.
Greetings from germany!
I am married with four kids and I have a stepdaughter which makes five. Both are big commitments. Some families have shity parents and some families have not so great kids. In the world we live in today, some kids could be very ungrateful and I'm going through that now. I always wanted marriage but it's hard work. Some people have it easier than others. I respect what you're saying.🖤
You do you Girl :-) Im married and just had twins and couldnt be happier but i see your point. You own your choice :-)
Im open to marriage but I've decided since I was 18 (I'm 25 now) that I'm not having kids. I like my freedom and I like my money. I can barely afford to pay back my student loans so how can I even care for a child? My mom has pretty much accepted that she'll be grandparent to a dog. My dad on the other hand keeps saying "oh you'll change your mind". Yeah no, it's not happening. I have a brother, he can be the one to have kids if he wants to. The pressure does not have to fall on me and it won't.
I myself have always wanted to get married and have kids. As a child I dreamt of having a marriage and children of my own. And for me ‘wife’ sounds better than ‘girlfriend’ for the rest of my life. I had a miscarriage two years ago and I was devastated when it happened. That miscarriage changed me.
You do make a good point when it comes to children tearing apart a relationship. I feel my step son and my boyfriend do this. I end up feeling like I’m just an option a lot of the time and that I was never a priority before I started to get to spend time with the kids. And he always seems to end up rewarding the kid for misbehaving. He’ll start to discipline the kid and then all of a sudden he’s letting the kid do what he just told him 10 minutes ago he can’t do or he’ll buy him something the kid doesn’t even deserve. Don’t get me wrong I love my step kids, but I don’t get that time with my boyfriend that I use to have because he now has this kid full time because the mother decided to up and move to another city and left her kids behind. She’s back, but he’s still got him full time. And I mean these kids aren’t even his biological kids. My boyfriend has never had his own kids aside from the one we have non earth side, but he did look after his sister a lot of the time growing up.
Although I still want to get married and have kids, but I don’t even know if we can have kids. It took us a while for me to even get pregnant before I miscarried and we’re still having a hard time getting me pregnant. But then again it’s hard to even be able to get that time when my step son is around full time. And lately I’ve been staying at my parents because my mom has breast cancer -she had her mastectomy June 20th and I’ve been helping her around the apartment all while my dad has been in the hospital and he will be going into long term care.
I have the same views on kids especially 😅 nice to see I’m not alone!
Same here Iv been single my whole life and Iv just got used to being single
You're definitely not alone ❤️❤️❤️
Me too.I can't think of much worse than having a kid
I completelt understand your opinion! I am a married women and want kids and my husband and I have been trying for almost 8 years. We would be married for 7 this August. Your relationship with your partner married or not should always be top priority.
Some people are just meant to be parents, I don’t hate kids, but I just know myself, I could never be a parent. It’s the hardest job, the most responsibility, you have to postpone your own life to give everything to your child. That’s what would make the best parent, I just couldn’t do it myself. I have so much respect for people who can be amazing parents, it’s just not me.
I 100% agree with everything you said, I just feel the same way...
Been married once and that whole relationship changed after we said I do. I don’t think I want to go through that again. And the kids I’m not supposed to have them so I don’t want to risk my life for a child. I don’t even want to bring a child into this crazy dangerous, government world ( if you know) it’s fucked up.
Love you your amazing
Sounds a lot like you are scared of risks. However its also good that you are honest about the things you want in your life. At the end of the day it’s your life.
I definitely have a wall up with people too. I am no contact with my parents as they were very abusive in every way. So, at 19, I had been moved out and felt alone. I wanted a baby. My boyfriend was living with me at the time. I told him I wanted one and he said we'd have to get married first. My response was "Well, when we getting married? Cause I want a baby so you can either set a date or move out." We got married. It was 6 months after we met and started dating. 2 months later, I was pregnant.
Now, we've been married over 15 years, our child is 14, and we're happy. I'm actually completely in love with him now where I never had that emotional feeling in the beginning years or with anyone else. I feel like we just got extremely lucky. Our child currently never wants to move out unless she meets someone and wants to live with them. Which, that's fine. She's cool. 😆
We wanted more children, but it wasn't an option for me to have more. We were going to take foster care classes but because of my mental health diagnosis (caused by my upbringing) I do not qualify for it. It makes me sad, but I have learned to be happy with what I have. I'm able to push out any "the grass is greener..." thoughts and just enjoy life as it is.
I totally respect anyone's decision in not having kids. I just wish I could help the kids that aren't wanted because I love them. 💔
Thank you for sharing your story. ❤️
You are truly blessed and you made me smile reading this! 🥹
Girl same to these topics and I changed my mind too over the years on marriage. I don't want it anymore. Never wanted kids only to possibly foster. You do you 💯 ❤
As someone who has kids and is married I get it. It isn’t for everyone. I have 3 kiddos. But it def hasn’t been easy. And I respect anyone who doesnt want that. Bree I swear you could post anything I’d support ya girl
A very interesting video. I agree with you on most points, especially the point that you have to REALLY want to have kids if you have them. There's no half hearted option.
I absolutely love and agreed on everything on this video. Except the one being around kids. I have grandson that i absolutely adore. People can be together for years and years. Not married or engaged people wonder why they aint. I never wanted to be married or have kid's. Also when people get married one of them mainly the female doesnt have her own money or bank account when they get divorced women is fucked. Always have your own money and bank account. Not attacking people who are married. I have 5 dogs that love me and my man unconditionally.
Your opinion on these topics are so valid! I literally get so much back lash from people because I don't want kids. And its crazy to me because how does that even affect anyone lol?
I have a kiddo, always wanted one! But you’re right about how it changes you, and it changes your WHOLE life I’ve been preaching to people who have the “baby fever” everyone needs to be able to understand that that will happen!
Absolutely! People only think about the beautiful little baby who smells amazing and is cute as a button, but they never ever think about the long-term of what's actually coming and if they can handle that.
You made alot of good points in this video. I agree with alot of the things that you mentioned. 👍🏿
i agree with you bree great video :)
I agree with you 100% with both not having kids and the marriage too
I definitely agree that the relationship is number 1 then the kid! When couples become empty-nesters and the romance fizzled out long ago, you're just stuck in a relationship that lost its sparkle. Plus, if the relationship comes first, it teaches the kid expectations about romance and partnership by leading by example.
Definitely never wanted kids and never will. I'm 41 now and my husband had a vasectomy a couple of years ago. We both never wanted kids. But marrying my best friend was absolutely amazing ! I would do it again and again! We were together 8 years before getting married and have been married for 5 years now.
Nothing wrong with not wanting what's considered "normal". Growing up I could care less about either, then when I was a teenager I knew I didn't want kids because I was too selfish so no way would I be able to care for another child. I'm now almost 40 still with the same guy from high school married with two kids, I had to grow up before kids were right for me. No I'm not trying to change anyone's mind this is just what happened to me. Now I'm freaking out that I just said I'm almost 40 😢
Apparently Gypsy rose is now expecting her first child. Everyone is entitled to and can have their own opinions on it but this to me is very scary. Gypsy has had a rough life, and i understand why people want to get married and have kids but she has not gotten to experience life. Meaning the real world and one of the most life changing things anyone can do in this world is have children. I don’t know what kind of mother she will be. No one knows that. I wish her the best. I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve to have kids and it’s not my place to say whether or not someone should get married or have kids it’s just my opinion. You made some great points in this video. I could never or will never rush into having kids. Kids are a lifetime commitment and not one to take lightly. There is no sign out window when it comes to being a parent nor should there be because you made a decision to have that child or children. There is nothing wrong with having kids; however there is also nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids. The issue I see is when people have kids and then after they have kids they then decide maybe they shouldn’t have had kids. Which to me is insanely irresponsible and selfish. A human life is never anything to take lightly. I would rather openly say that I don’t want kids then to have kids and not be a responsible parent that that child needs and deserves to have. I’m not saying i myself don’t want children but what I am saying is I don’t take that topic lightly as no one should. I do not feel sorry for anyone that has children and doesn’t have the means to care for them because they made that choice to have kids. No matter how the child was conceived, if a person decides to go through with having a child or children that is solely on them. Regardless of how that life was created. If it’s one thing I can’t stand is when a child or children suffer simply because their parent or parents aren’t responsible
I will never have children. My bf has 3 (teenagers now) and that's enough for me, I love them as their my own. Now marriage...I wouldn't be opposed to...but I don't like the legal ties and paperwork that goes with it. Have you heard of a celebration of commitment? It's makes much more sense to me!!! ❤ I absolutely love how real you are and honest about yourself. You don't need a ring and children to have a complete life. If you & your partner are content and happy with the way your life is together, thats all that matters!! ❤️❤️
I definitely agree everyone doesn’t need to get married to know they love someone and we all don’t have to have kids. Some are meant to others aren’t. However children should be as much a priority as as spouse because that’s your family and if two people have kids you should be as focused on them as you are your spouse. Multiple people can be your top priority at the same time. I do think it’s unhealthy to focus on so much on only one relationship and not put effort into any others like friendships for example. But it’s important to have a strong healthy relationship with your kids as well as in a romantic relationship (married or not) so I agree and disagree with you but I think these are really important topics to talk about.
One thing I learned in life....Never say Never!
That's fine. But I'm NEVER having kids. That's a absolute never lol
Interesting topic, Bree. And I honestly couldn't agree with you more 👏🏼
I love your nails, btw 💅🏻
Also it's very nice to hear someone say these things your so real! I just love it Thank You Bree🖤
I agree ! It's just a piece of paper.that doesn't mean anything
Completely understand, I came to a similar conclusion very young actually. No idea why but I knew it all wasn't for me, I joined the Navy and saw the world instead... now as I'm past childbearing age I still feel the same. You do get a lot of pressure from family, understandably though as they want to see the line continue.
I wish you all the best, it's a strong decision but the right one for some.
Even though I disagree with you, I respect your opinions and appreciate your honesty. Thankfully as a mom and wife I haven’t experienced the fears you mentioned but I also know that’s not the case for everyone.
Never watched a more relatable video in my whole life.
PREACH 🖤
I get so much shit for saying that kids shouldnt be #1 priority. My parents did that with me and my brother. Now they’re empty nesters living with a complete stranger.
It's like you took the words right out of my mouth!!! Literally everything you said is EXACTLY how I feel! I'm 27, I'll be 28 in September (Virgo gang ♍️) and I love my niece and everything obviously but I could NEVER see myself having kids... I can't lol they're too much. I get overwhelmed and overstimulated easily with kids
I totally feel this, my life feels stagnant, Ive been single for a long time and am just waiting for the right person. I'm also really lazy(ex: eating meals when I want to) but also independent and like being alone now. The feeling does creep in tho when I do see other ppl living their lives. I do want kids but it did take me a long time to know how to talk to them. I work at a library where they're everywhere and theirs programs daily and boy does it get loud and overwhelming.
I wanted kids when i was younger and then I’ve seen my niece and nephew growing up, and my friend give birth, I said hell no, I’m definitely not having kids and before that I went through cancer and I cannot have any, so that solidified that I don’t want any kids, I love them, but don’t want any of my own and I’m okay with that
Marriages crumble mostly when kids are involved because the men feel forgotten about because then kids get all the attention but I'm happy as a single mom all besides my finances. That's a proven fact.
I don't really care to get married. I fear I'll get cheated on again, (always do). Also, weddings are expensive, and I am not into spending that kind of money. If I were POSITIVE that I wouldn't get cheated on, and felt safe with my sig. other, than I would have a small budget wedding. But I, like you, will NEVER trust anyone that much. I am most secure by myself, like you are. I have my kids, and I wouldn't change that. However marriage is a hard pass.
When I was younger I always wanted 10 kids. No husband. My number is still 10. I could NEVER understand why people never want kids. My now husband and and I have 5 kids. 5 and under. Now that I have kids...I get it. I love my kids with everything. But my anxiety has been so bad since having children. Worried about money, raising them right, the world we live in now is just scary, you can't just get up and go you have to get the kids ready, you have to fight so much harder to keep your relationship healthy because you're so focused on pouring all of yourself into these tiny beings that by the end of the day you're so worn out you don't even make time for each other. I definitely agree. Relationship comes first. We've luckily got to that point now but it took awhile to get there.
I hate it when people ask me about marriage and kids. I don’t even have a boyfriend and I’m okay with that. I don’t need that drama. I used to want to have kids but as I’ve gotten older my opinion has drastically changed. As I’ve gotten older and am seeing all the things going on in the world I feel like I’d be being very selfish bringing another human being into it. Especially with the things kids face at school and out in public. Parents should be able to send their kids to school and expect them to be safe. And with the things we’ve seen in recent years with shootings, teachers being pedos, human and s*x trafficking and all the other shit going on. Then there’s the health issues I’ve had regarding the ability to have kids. I had to have a hysterectomy because of them. I figured if meant to have kids I’ll be adopting. But at 42 I doubt that’s going to happen. And I’m okay either way that. But trying to explain that to other people is easier said than done.
I don't know how I feel about marriage, it isn't important to my life to be married even though it might be financially positive. But what I'm sure of is that I'm never gonna have kids. When I was young I always said when I'm x years old, I'm gonna have kids. And I always wanted (if I had kids) to be a young mom, so anything later than 35 and I wouldn't wanna be a mom. Now I'm 32 and I don't feel it. I don't wanna be responsible for a kid for 18+ years. I don't even have my own life settled. How would I if I had kids? So I plan on getting sterilized this year or in 2025. Whenever my period is late and I had a year when it basically always missed a month and I'd have my period only every 2 months. I always, especially in the beginning, was so panicky I might be pregnant that I realized I don't want that. In my head I was always 100% positive I'd have an abortion if I were to be pregnant and I still feel that way. And to emd all this and be absolutely sure I'm never gonna get pregnant, I wanna be sterilized.
I'm also not ever having kids but I got married on 2019 when I thought I never would been with my significant other for going on almost 9 years and be married for almost 5 years
I feel the exact same way as you do about kids, I never liked them but I ended up with one of my own. I love him unconditionally, but you are right when you say you aren’t the same person after kids. My life revolves around my son and sometimes it’s very stressful not being able to go anywhere without needing a babysitter. I miss when I could nap and work whenever I wanted to!! I definitely never plan on having another unless I find a good man that will be there for the child they created. I never recommend having kids to anyone 😅
I have kids and i totally agree with this, unless you're like 200% sure - dont do it! Also not married to my kids father and not seeing it happen, maybe in the future for paperworks just FOR the kids if something happens to us.
I love this for you. I chose the path of marriage and kids. And it's not easy! I started dating my husband at 14 and we got married when I was 19. We had kids by 20. And combining finances and sacrificing for each other so I can be home with our kids is really hard. We had to establish roles and responsibilities. Hes working full time and I have to do the house stuff. There's a whole battle there because we never agree. I feel like I should have more help, he feels like he's running himself thin working. And it's a lot harder than when we were dating. I wanted kids so bad. Always have. I knew I wanted that. But it came with a lot of personal growth! Like more than I thought. I have to regulate my emotions better , I have to make sure they are eating well when I'm not even eating well. The money of having kids isn't bad because we have good insurance and the more kids you have the more state help we get. Meaning not that my kids are a paycheck, but having another won't cause me more financial stress. I have my one son. And pregnant with my second. I am so attached to him now, I grieve him leaving someday and having his own family. Those resentment things you were talking about, 100 percent a fear! I will do my best but I'm not perfect and if they chose to not be around me older. I will be devastated. It's a love you can't ever replicate. I feel you. I understand you and all of your feelings are valid. ❤ It's a lot and not for everything. Definitely an easier path to not have these responsibilities. And I think it's just a personal choice whether you want that responsibility or not.
I appreciate your honesty and openness. I support you 100% Be you!!!! ❤❤❤
Fun fact: when I was younger, other people’s children made me feel awkward too…. Now I have a 1 and 2 year old and they have given me a strength and deepest love I didn’t know ever existed. They are my world! (Just my opinion on my life )
Also yes, want unconditional love? “Get a dog!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Again, I support you 100% and I think you’re pretty damn amazing!
Well you got to amit dogs are lovely
@@scarletyoung6053 animals are amazing ❤
i agree with you saying that when you have kids, the parents forget that they’re still dating, or even without kids too once a couple is together for a long amount of time it’s like they forget they’re a couple. i think it just depends on the couple, and if they each want to try for the other. idk how to explain it right lol
I totally get what you're saying 100%! They need to remember they're a team and not just roommates ❤️