Why Broken Hearts Hurt - and What Heals Them | Yoram Yovell | TED

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  • Опубліковано 22 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 145

  • @BenjaminJones-re8re
    @BenjaminJones-re8re 4 місяці тому +102

    I recently went through a difficult breakup. My five year relationship ended a month ago, and it's been incredibly hard. I still have so much love for my ex girlfriend, and I can't seem to get her out of my mind. Despite my best efforts to win her back, nothing has worked, and the thought of being with anyone else feels impossible right now. I know it might sound odd to share this here, but I miss her deeply and can't stop thinking about her.

    • @Donaldhelmick
      @Donaldhelmick 4 місяці тому +3

      I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without her, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring her back into my life.

    • @BenjaminJones-re8re
      @BenjaminJones-re8re 4 місяці тому +2

      If you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference. How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?

    • @Donaldhelmick
      @Donaldhelmick 4 місяці тому +1

      His name is Fatherabulu, and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.

    • @BenjaminJones-re8re
      @BenjaminJones-re8re 4 місяці тому +1

      Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I'm genuinely impressed.

    • @tonyhill2318
      @tonyhill2318 Місяць тому

      Same here brother.

  • @GenZ_Zillenial
    @GenZ_Zillenial 7 місяців тому +104

    Watching this as I cried about a recent breakup. He doesn’t want me anymore. Everyday we will get a little bit better guys ❤

    • @Test7017
      @Test7017 7 місяців тому +3

      It happens ❤❤

    • @oxsparklesxo
      @oxsparklesxo 7 місяців тому +5

      Then he's not worth your tears my lady! Keep your chin up you will get through this ❤

    • @Delbays1
      @Delbays1 7 місяців тому

      💙

    • @qpSubZeroqp
      @qpSubZeroqp 7 місяців тому +3

      Time does help alongside getting busy with things that keep your mind busy from my experience

    • @adelelim3043
      @adelelim3043 7 місяців тому +3

      This happened to me 2 days ago… he straight up told me he doesn’t love me anymore and that we are incompatible. The first night i was inconsolable, 2nd night a bit better, now im already so much better.
      Write down in a journal or piece of paper and reflect on 1) why the breakup was a blessing and his shortcomings 2) what you could do better next time - be honest with yourself everyone has room to grow. It helped tremendously! Not sure if i may fall back, but at the moment i feel so much better. Praying for you!

  • @Marce-w1c
    @Marce-w1c 7 місяців тому +41

    After my 25 year marriage ended I thought I would die from a broken heart . My family was no longer together. Thankfully over time and with faith in God and counseling I survived and now thrive !

  • @gadija806
    @gadija806 7 місяців тому +20

    I think pain can draw us apart too.
    Lost my grandfather and remember what they say "old people keep the family together" so once they no longer around everything falls apart.
    That's what happened to my family. Pain made us grew apart.

    • @wfrdewr121212
      @wfrdewr121212 7 місяців тому

      Q❤❤❤❤❤q

    • @jontims5934
      @jontims5934 6 місяців тому

      It was my grandmother for my family & I at 16. Nothing was ever the same, and everyone was hurt, and we didn't recover! 17 years on and only growing further apart.. our hurt is stronger than our love!

  • @thechakrallama9659
    @thechakrallama9659 7 місяців тому +7

    For breakups and death, time does indeed heal a broken heart and I think that we need the right amount of processing feelings and thoughts, along with learning to accept and let it go at some point. Good video! I think this is good for people to know so they can get up and get moving when depressed, to activate endorphins. I did that with boxing after a bad breakup where I did feel suicidal.

  • @West1010
    @West1010 15 днів тому +1

    One thing thing that helped me is building my social confidence because I've had to rebuild my social life. My ex was the center of it plus I'm introverted. So I say hey to all the strangers I can when out, give compliments, introduce myself to people in the gym etc. This isn't even to date necessarily but to just connect. When I'm chatting with people about random things, I'm in the moment and only thinking about them & topic of conversation. It's making a huge difference plus building a skill.

  • @macdisciple
    @macdisciple 7 місяців тому +13

    For 10 years I was prescribed antidepressants. None were ever remotely effective. I considered ECT but maybe I was not depressed so much as I was very lonely, sad, and my heart hurt - literally. I could feel the weight of pain on my heart and was worried I would die from a heart attack. I was prescribed Tramadol for chronic knee pain - but my depression also lifted. The literal pain in my heart was gone. I get it is a narcotic but OMG for the 1st time I had relief from a lonely heart. I kept taking the Tram, my disposition shifted, and within a year I met my wife. I have not been depressed since.

  • @TheWriterNW
    @TheWriterNW 7 місяців тому +129

    I lost my wife in 2012. My broken heart hasn't healed at all. It hurts so much still.

    • @ilianawestley3191
      @ilianawestley3191 7 місяців тому +12

      I’m so sorry for your loss, she must have been a wonderful woman. I hope you find peace

    • @KingKikikoi
      @KingKikikoi 7 місяців тому +11

      I can’t imagine the pain but I know she would have loved to see you live long and happily as you can even after her passing.

    • @six1free
      @six1free 7 місяців тому +2

      that type of pain can only be healed by the understanding that nothing cannot exist - we never become it.

    • @Dyejob01
      @Dyejob01 7 місяців тому +4

      I lost my twin in 2012, and I feel the same way. It feels like I will NEVER recover my this pain. It's just as crushing today as it was in 2012.❤❤❤❤

    • @farah_di_ipoh1968
      @farah_di_ipoh1968 7 місяців тому +3

      I lost my husband last May of 2023. If I don't talk about him, I'm ok, but once I remember, my eyes start running with tears. I must accept that every living thing must die, including myself.

  • @andyouknowit0815
    @andyouknowit0815 Місяць тому +1

    I went through a devastating experience when my wife left me after 20 years of marriage, taking one of our sons with her under very humiliating circumstances. I was left standing there, feeling unimaginable pain, with my 18-year-old son staying with me just before his final exams. Friends helped me during this time, and I followed a piece of advice: I started going to salsa dancing classes. Every time I danced, I felt a little better. I kept moving forward, and my son successfully completed his exams. I wept with pride and relief. The separation was brutal, but the way I managed to come back and be there for my sons is hard to put into words. Later, I met an incredible woman through dancing, and I love her dearly. Thank you to everyone who supported me through this journey. Go out and dance!!!!!

  • @oguzhansunger4386
    @oguzhansunger4386 7 місяців тому +10

    To be fair, it was a good speech. If anyone wants to do further reading on the relationship between mental and physical pain, I highly recommend this article: "Broken Hearts and Broken Bones" written by Naomi I. Eisenberger.

  • @j333z
    @j333z 7 місяців тому +15

    I wish they'd find out faster and approve the treatment. Thank you for doing this research.

    • @jontims5934
      @jontims5934 6 місяців тому

      YOU AND ME BOTH! 😘

    • @kristen.t
      @kristen.t 6 місяців тому

      Sharing from the standpoint of a scientist -- I'm like you!! But SO much easier said than done. There are several factors for why research takes so long and one of the biggest is lack of funding, as studies like these (especially longer-term ones) are really expensive. A prime example of "things happening quickly" would be COVID-19 vaccine development, but even that -- an expansive, worldwide effort with millions of dollars and thousands of volunteers -- took ~2 years.

  • @Huyape7
    @Huyape7 5 місяців тому

    thank you for your presentation, i suffered from a severe mental pain that i created on my own for myself. that was a tough time however i become normal now. at this time i indeed want to enhance my knowledge about these conditions.

  • @mugheeramehmood6650
    @mugheeramehmood6650 7 місяців тому

    I recall a moment that often overwhelms me when I flashback to those kinds of thoughts. While drugs may provide temporary relief, they are not permanent cures. These mental pains have flashbacks that keep the pain alive, and there's a catch - if one perceives this pain as a reminder of a moment, person, or thought, it can become a self-perpetuating cycle.

  • @RavenStealstheNight
    @RavenStealstheNight 7 місяців тому +19

    Too many times people, even professionals underestimate how pain and mental pain are connected. One possible explanation is the fact that the very cells and cell types within specific parts of the body are found in places that are present elsewhere. The programming hardwired into these cells are very real. It's unbelievable that some people don't see this connection. 😮

    • @radiantmarshmallow2527
      @radiantmarshmallow2527 7 місяців тому +2

      Yes! So many of us don't realize that we are a whole package deal! Everything affects everything else. It sucks sometimes lol but that's what it is.

  • @Slyma
    @Slyma 7 місяців тому +2

    Waw that cry... It gave me flashbacks I still can hear it

  • @shrimpdance4761
    @shrimpdance4761 7 місяців тому +10

    Don't hide your mental pain from your loved ones. They really can help.

  • @ThursdayASMR
    @ThursdayASMR 7 місяців тому +16

    My mom died when I was thirteen. Then in 2017 my dog got killed by a speeding car right infront of me. These moments broke my heart. And I'm still not healed.

    • @beautifultrauma
      @beautifultrauma 7 місяців тому +1

      I am so sorry for your losses. Big hugs 🫂 ❤

    • @bellakim9404
      @bellakim9404 7 місяців тому +1

      They are with you in spirit. & Your mom is with your dog are together in Heaven. They are both healthy and happy. ❤

    • @IvonaFlakus
      @IvonaFlakus 6 місяців тому

      Sending hugs 🫂🥺❤️‍🩹

  • @王飞燕-z6j
    @王飞燕-z6j 7 місяців тому +2

    Very good, thank you very much professor. Before we only know to eat medicine because we feel physical pain, actually we can also eat medicine when we feel mental pain. So impressive research, well done 💯👍

  • @rw6836
    @rw6836 7 місяців тому +6

    Stuffed animals as hug buddies provide some comfort and relief during times of loneliness.

  • @rodolfoalas3663
    @rodolfoalas3663 4 місяці тому +1

    My wife abandoned me a few days ago when I was at work… it feels like the end of the world… please someone help me find courage again. Haven’t heard from her since

    • @S.ash.
      @S.ash. 3 місяці тому

      I hope you heal from this in time

  • @suongthai7444
    @suongthai7444 6 місяців тому

    ❤❤❤🎉
    Thank you so much!
    Hello from Việt Nam!

  • @priscillaharnage5711
    @priscillaharnage5711 2 місяці тому +1

    😢heart breaks no one can heal.

  • @karmashah2060
    @karmashah2060 7 місяців тому +1

    When love One died My mom and dad heartbroken be kind to each other peace 💖 peace 💖

  • @alexgoslar4057
    @alexgoslar4057 7 місяців тому +2

    I love this.

  • @lulipsia2360
    @lulipsia2360 7 місяців тому +11

    That's a really interesting topic, but I'm not sure if a medical treatment approach is the answer. Shouldn't things like this be actually felt and worked through, even though uncomfortable? why should we numb somebody, who feels grief for a good reason?

    • @rafael.afonso
      @rafael.afonso 7 місяців тому +4

      It's not that simple. One can't work through something over time if they suffer from severe illness and take their own life. The drugs can be used exactly to make non-medical treatment possible, so that one day, they no longer need them.
      (I'm not a professional, though, just some random internet person)

    • @lulipsia2360
      @lulipsia2360 7 місяців тому +2

      @@rafael.afonso that sounds reasonable, yes. I guess I miss exactly such a conclusion in the video, as it is titled "how to heal ...", not "how to treat" or "help treat", which would be more fitting I guess. He put the emphasis very much on the medication

    • @WouterSimonsPlus
      @WouterSimonsPlus 7 місяців тому

      He showed where exactly the pain is in the system and concludes with a picture of a hug.
      I’m sure he’s also highlighting depression and suïcide for a reason, because medication for mental pain in these extreme cases can save lives.
      For people in these situations the “you have to work through it” pattern is so bleak and painful of an outlook that they just stop and do not want to continue life anymore. This is hard to imagine for people that are not in it, but he is explaining it’s scientifically provable. Just look at the validation that gives people in the comments and I’m sure it’s clear that matters.

  • @00MrPanda00
    @00MrPanda00 7 місяців тому

    Great presentation!

  • @sarnan10
    @sarnan10 7 місяців тому

    Excellent one!!! 😊

  • @marycaroline7357
    @marycaroline7357 7 місяців тому

    Thanku for the powerful messege 🙏🏻

  • @BrunoVentura22
    @BrunoVentura22 7 місяців тому +3

    I was watching this video and when he said that he studied under kandel's guidance, my jaw just dropped. For who is into neuroscience, kandel's name is just absurd.

    • @katherinemoore52
      @katherinemoore52 7 місяців тому

      Could you explain why you feel that way?

    • @BrunoVentura22
      @BrunoVentura22 7 місяців тому

      @@katherinemoore52 because kandel's principles of neuroscience, for me, is the base for any neuroscience student, and he is the first author.

  • @electrotype_
    @electrotype_ 7 місяців тому +31

    The two magical drugs are obviously chocolate and ice cream.

    • @PierreChen91
      @PierreChen91 7 місяців тому +1

      😄 Jea that's the combination i'm going for.

    • @Fenyxclips
      @Fenyxclips 7 місяців тому

      Chocolate and ice cream forever are the best drugs to have. Now I want ice cream...

    • @sujoyishuman
      @sujoyishuman 7 місяців тому

      Hahaha

    • @sujoyishuman
      @sujoyishuman 7 місяців тому +2

      But they're still testing it before they use chocolate and ice cream as a treatment for releasing endorphins

    • @hind_chaoukichaouki7977
      @hind_chaoukichaouki7977 7 місяців тому

      😂😂👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

  • @faisalabbas9803
    @faisalabbas9803 5 місяців тому

    Yes anyone can feel when someone ask ones father when his father is died because if your father loves you More when they were alive you find him More close to you than anyone because he support you at any stage of life give you More And More enjoyment And when he delay his office time in order to get you what you want thats matter how they Love you .

  • @sitaraabbasi1007
    @sitaraabbasi1007 День тому

    "Regardless of the drugs, we have the ability to cope with these stressors on our own! And then we will be able to help others! Drugs have very bad side effects! Psychiatrists even don't think about it before recommendations; they should mention the role of psychologists here. That can prevent drastic changes as psychologists are preventers and psychiatrists are managers. Prevention is better than cure! Although not all diseases can be prevented due to a lack of insight into these psychological issues, I know psychiatrists play a role for those people having schizophrenia and other severe mental disorders. But as a starting point, psychologists are the true leaders for preventing you from going through these severe mental disorders and avoiding drug use after this disaster."

  • @harsimar-singhh
    @harsimar-singhh 7 місяців тому +4

  • @tonym6566
    @tonym6566 7 місяців тому +8

    Clickbait title af, bottom line he won’t tell us what heals it

    • @C8zzzD
      @C8zzzD 7 місяців тому +2

      Quick Google search reveals that one is called tianeptine... the other is called acetaminophen (Tylenol)

    • @tonym6566
      @tonym6566 7 місяців тому

      @@C8zzzD lol wtf Tylenol?! 😅

    • @ExplainImFive
      @ExplainImFive 7 місяців тому

      ​@@tonym6566 Actually, yes.
      There's a scientific research that Acetaminophen (also called Tylenol) can also blocks receptor that produce emotional pain, which can make us emotionally numb.

    • @delavidaebella
      @delavidaebella 7 місяців тому +1

      @C8zzzD can you provide the source link?

    • @mellowedxdd
      @mellowedxdd 5 місяців тому +1

      Endorphins do, therefore social connection and exercise help :)

  • @ThangPVan_
    @ThangPVan_ 7 місяців тому

    In many years following TED, I still can't stand with the intro sound, it hurts my head

  • @fauxvier8519
    @fauxvier8519 7 місяців тому

    I hope we dont end up being dependant on such a miracle drug that we entirely forget out humanity as a price

  • @ptcosmos
    @ptcosmos 7 місяців тому

    8:00 I love your channel and your audience, I'm gonna comment on ALL your videos for years until I reach your level of subscribers.

  • @李白-x8j
    @李白-x8j 7 місяців тому +1

    记录一下

  • @pinealgasm
    @pinealgasm 7 місяців тому +1

    wish these people could help me.

  • @fireflymary9269
    @fireflymary9269 7 місяців тому

    Pain can be mitigated without drugs. Lots of science on pain that humans can self manage without pharmaceuticals.

  • @卵卵-x6l
    @卵卵-x6l 7 місяців тому

    2:30

  • @anamfarooqy3756
    @anamfarooqy3756 7 місяців тому

    I think people don't want to heal when they're hurt

  • @ytrlwin9390
    @ytrlwin9390 6 місяців тому

    You lose what you cling to.

  • @farah_di_ipoh1968
    @farah_di_ipoh1968 7 місяців тому

    Wow, when this drug becomes available, the people who invest in it will be super duper rich! (Tells you how many people will need it!)

  • @khaledawad9741
    @khaledawad9741 7 місяців тому +24

    My heart breaks for Palestine

    • @kurtphillips7038
      @kurtphillips7038 7 місяців тому +4

      Why? They started it. Do you feel the same pain for the innocent Isrealis murdered in October?

    • @sachamm
      @sachamm 7 місяців тому +8

      @@kurtphillips7038 You heard it here folks, Palestinian children in 2023 started the Israeli/Palestinian conflict that's been going on for 75 years.

    • @sparklymoona5437
      @sparklymoona5437 7 місяців тому +3

      Ur a good person don’t listen to those who don’t care about others 🤍 they are not as in tune with the pain and worry around the world. They don’t look at the world as a whole it’s truly sad. But people like you are needed. Don’t ever change. 🤍🤍

  • @ehidnayashan
    @ehidnayashan 7 місяців тому +2

    I bet they are aspirin and paracetamol

  • @hansovergaard4639
    @hansovergaard4639 7 місяців тому +2

    I never felt “pain in the heart” due to sadness or loss. Where does this inept saying come from?

    • @circa1890
      @circa1890 7 місяців тому +4

      Just wait.. 😢

    • @ging1984
      @ging1984 7 місяців тому +8

      Then you're astonishingly, extremely lucky. "Inept" lololol

    • @eminayiden
      @eminayiden 7 місяців тому +3

      Open your heart a bit more and you just might.

    • @oxsparklesxo
      @oxsparklesxo 7 місяців тому

      Well you are one lucky human!!

    • @darinherrick9224
      @darinherrick9224 7 місяців тому

      Might want to see a psychologist.

  • @marcvolpe8252
    @marcvolpe8252 7 місяців тому +5

    MY HEART IS BROKEN BECAUSE OF WHAT YOUR COUNTRY IS DOING TO GAZA SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME

  • @peterweller8583
    @peterweller8583 7 місяців тому +1

    Learn

  • @CowboyConan
    @CowboyConan 7 місяців тому +2

    Can confirm, treating mental pain with pharmaceuticals is a disaster. There’s a reason things hurt. It’s your soul trying to communicate with you and guide you into becoming who you were always meant to be. You can fool Mother Nature for a time, but not indefinitely.

  • @mariaantoniettamontella9173
    @mariaantoniettamontella9173 7 місяців тому

    applausi

  • @six1free
    @six1free 7 місяців тому

    hint: he's talking about THC

    • @Scarygothgirl
      @Scarygothgirl 7 місяців тому +1

      That would explain why I feel better after using medical cannabis to kick the opiates. I've been on opiates for chronic pain since I was 13, they suck to be on long term.

    • @PierreChen91
      @PierreChen91 7 місяців тому +1

      And what's the other one? Chocolate?

    • @six1free
      @six1free 7 місяців тому +1

      @@PierreChen91 not sure.. possibly DMT

  • @elvergalarga8470
    @elvergalarga8470 7 місяців тому

    tevuahC uaerehcsaT euqinoM ailiceC
    81 months 22 days.

    • @PierreChen91
      @PierreChen91 7 місяців тому

      You must be one of the happy people who got the chance to be one of the first ones who get to test the two substances, am I right? 😂

  • @akbarmahardhika2982
    @akbarmahardhika2982 7 місяців тому +2

    Free Palestine

  • @LeftOfToday
    @LeftOfToday 7 місяців тому +1

    How can you talk about pain without once mentioning the emotional connection to pain? Just another psych who thinks it's all down to neurotransmitters with complete disregard for social factors, including the importance of both positive and negative emotions. Of course it comes down to drugs solving all problems for a psychiatrist. Ugh, I'll only agree to psychedelics helping safely, but then psychs want to get their grubby hands on it and overcharge for treatment when the hippies and healers knew all along about their healing power, which was always about love, not money for them.
    The fact that we pathologize unhappiness is probably a bigger cause of depression reaching dangerous levels, and soon we'll have the happy pill so even your infant's neurotypical and developmentally appropriate crying can be treated if you want? Lol sounds like a joke, but just wait.. The DSM will have infantile depression in it. Then we can talk about what's heartbreaking. At minimum, if you think treating natural grieving over the loss of a loved one with a happy pill is good idea, you've lost your own mind.

  • @al_badia3422
    @al_badia3422 7 місяців тому +1

    Palestinians broke my heart because of Israeli invasion sine more than 70 years. FREE Palestine.

  • @notapoliticalscientist
    @notapoliticalscientist 6 місяців тому

    Antihistamines. 💯

  • @BMWSRR-yd6do
    @BMWSRR-yd6do 7 місяців тому

    This guy is an expect in broken hearts because he owns a mirror ... and uses it every day...

  • @clay5912
    @clay5912 7 місяців тому

    so i need to start taking morphine?

  • @AlaahAkbr-q9c
    @AlaahAkbr-q9c 7 місяців тому +1

    God loves you and cares for you so that this message reaches you. God is the one who created this large universe and controls it completely. The greatest loss a person loses in this life is that he lives without knowing God who created him and knowing the Messenger of Muhammad, the last of the messengers, and the Islamic religion, the last of the heavenly religions. Great intelligence, before you believe in something or not, is to read it, study it, and understand it well, and after that you have the choice to believe in it or not to believe in it. I advise you to do this now, before you no longer have time to do so. Life is very short. It is just a test, just a passage to eternal life. Great advice to those who... Understands

  • @Lolcoca
    @Lolcoca 7 місяців тому +2

    For the moment, I have never lost a love because I still have all my family that I love so much 🤍🤍🤍

    • @marka2188
      @marka2188 7 місяців тому +1

      That is wonderful. Use this time to practice that inevitability one day. If it does not happen - wonderful. If it happens - you will be able to handle it.❤

    • @Lolcoca
      @Lolcoca 7 місяців тому

      @@marka2188 Thanks ! 🙏

  • @rashidabaakza8554
    @rashidabaakza8554 7 місяців тому

    Mental health and mental pain is real. One should also have strong willpower and not to ease your suffering by taking medication 💊 if possible. Cause it will make you addicted and will take away all your potential happiness of future.
    Biggest lose is the death of your loved ones and nothing can replace it but with time, it will heal you but that particular time is so crucial in which you should have strong willpower, do not lose hope (if possible try to be helpful to someone who needs some sort of help, whether physical or emotional or financial that will really help your mental illness). Try to visit hospital (sick kids) where you can volunteer or visit orphanages, then you will realize there are so many people having countless problems and complications…. I’m sure you’ll never have any suicidal thoughts again. Life is very precious do not lose hope till last breath, maybe your life can save someone someday. 🤞❤️‍🩹

  • @garciavashchino1
    @garciavashchino1 7 місяців тому

    Ima guess the drug names:
    Caffeine.
    w.e drug is found in Shrooms.