What Disco Elysium Means to me
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- Опубліковано 19 кві 2020
- Patreon: / leadheadyt
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Twitter: / leadheadyt
You take the engine, Kim. I’ll hold the boombox.
Sorry for the reupload. Had some technical difficulties, and this was the only way to ensure that you all got an actual notification. Enjoy!
The music in this video is from the Disco Elysium OST by British Sea Power - Ігри
![Disco Elysium, Acid Communism, and Revolutionary Art [SPOILERS]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-DQcMRuKqRg/mqdefault.jpg)
Man, Disco Elysium... Never before I wanted to fix somebody that badly
At first, I thought that game is meant to be an acid trip. Like buckle up, turn off your brain, and invite chaos. But pretty early I realized that although this might be entertaining, I would much rather help Harry regain at least a fraction of his former glory
The pay-off was simply marvelous. Listening to Kim describing Henry as a hardcore professional, investigating every nook and cranny, leaving no stone unturned or question unanswered... It's a great scene that gives a player what he achieved and what he deserved but hearing that coming from Kim specifically... I'm glad to think my Harry du Bois actually managed to pull himself together
ngl, heartfelt scenes with Kim like this makes me tear up a bit that I had to get out and smoke before coming back.
My Harry used his low point and mental chaos as a pass to ask pathetic questions you wouldnt normally hear from fellow adults: "Am I a fuck up, Kim?"
I fail to warn Kim, or retrieve my gun in time. So it was a massive fallout. But I was doing little things to help. The doom district quest, talking ruby down, report lost husbands, lots of leg work. Early in the game I punched a kid for talking smack to me but suprise suprise he respects that and helped me find the Sniper nest spot(almost rushed through THAT) by the end I'm not sure if I save Harry's career but a gave cuno a chance to start a better life as "junior fuckin' pig now" and that rare achievement (2.2% of players at time of writing) made it all worth it.
I felt like what helped my ending feel better was unlocking the "Wasteland of Reality " thought that leads to Harry being able to become sober, hopefully leading to a cleaner future for him
I felt genuine pride for Harry and for myself hearing Kim's description of how Harry and I managed the case. I've never had that before in my life and I may never forget it.
God, that last "Disco Inferno..." hits me like a freight train every time.
OH. That's what they were saying!
I feel like sharing this video with all my friends but it’s ironic because doing so would bring up questions and interactions that I’m not prepared for.
[Drama] Oh, but sire, to see the look on their faces and to revel in their astonishment! That be thou'st true calling!
[Electrochemistry] DRINK SOMETHING! Then you can improvise that preparedness.
[Volition] It's okay, everything will be alright
[Inland Empire] Necktie: DO IT! Maybe even repeat that revolver joke too, the bar patron reacted hilariously to that!
Conceptualization: This video is art and thou shall share it! Who are they to judge you, judge art!?
This is so scarily true, not having the words to describe what you are actually thinking is something I personally can attest to dealing with daily
holy shit, it just got to me - I won't try to explain it since I wouldn't be able to anyway :P, but listen to Joyce's description of the Pale and look at the Inland Empire portrait. then think about the carnage alcohol and drugs do to your brain.
also - beautiful interpretation man, I love it
I love how the concept of reaching through the void ties with the games concept of the pale.
She looks like a saint that led the world into a new dawn. A saint who's church across the river holds a hole in the world that'll end everything. This game made me cry brutal tears so many times and laugh at the absurdity of it all too. Probably the greatest piece of art I've experienced, the mantis is the most human of us all and it's proud of you.
Of all the creatures I've met you are the kindest.
It's honestly incredible knowing I'm only one of a select few thousand people that have gotten to experience this channel. Having seen your own struggles with 'A beginner's guide' and your fears about channel growth, I feel conflicted wishing you prosperity online; After all, why wish something on someone that will only cause discomfort? But it would be selfish to desire this. Sure, your videos may forever change my outlook on a game's story, but it also opened me up to the world of poetic analysis in gaming. You helped me out of the idea that narratives in gaming are created with the intent of being concrete, that any abstract ideas taken are just wild interpretations; far beyond what was actually meant, thus lacking any meaning. But you helped me to accept gaming as an art form. It is something so well equipped beyond any other medium to tell a story and give an experience that can't be matched. A good book can engross you in a world, as can a great movie or song. But only a video game can take all of these mediums, lace them with choice and give a player an experience that is unique to them. This is the power of gaming, and you helped me realize it. To bring things back around to my main point; I know you will face challenges as your audience inevitably grows and your content is taken in ways you could not imagine. But I want to challenge you. Don't run from the inevitable and fear the change, think of the minds that you influence and the growth that you caused. Leadhead to me isn't just some dude's opinion on games, it's an example of how to draw your own meaning from art and the power said meaning can give an already beloved game. Keep up the great work and I wish you nothing less than the best.
I highly recommend watching Jacob Gellar. He does very similar video essays although he tends to use video games as a way to point toward an idea rather than explaining what idea the video game is pointing to. If that makes sense
@@camdengenta3040 I'll have to check him out. Thanks for the suggestion ^^
@@cyanmoonlight7147 Np. This ua-cam.com/video/usSfgHGEGxQ/v-deo.html is my favorite video of his
Spectacular!
@@cyanmoonlight7147 I have to second recommending Jacob Geller. Some of my favorites are:
Searching for Disco Elysium
After a City is Buried
Fear of Depths
Fear of Cold
Outer Wilds: Death, Inevitability and Ray Bradbury
And, of course, his favorite games of the year. Many of those he makes videos of.
Coming back to this video about one's Inland Empires after your coming out one sure makes it hit different.
Great essay.
But I absolutely cannot forgive you shaving off Harry's magnificent beard.
It is hard to put into words how this essay resonates with this little ball of mine! You've created something truly special here, and I am lucky to have seen it!
Love your take on the game, I really hope everybody could experience this game. It was an experience no other videogame has ever made me go through and a very meaningful one, it made me laugh, think, feel angry and cry over the course of the story.
One small correction about the reason Kim followed a fuck-up as colossal as Harry (spoilers):
Kim didn't follow us because we have a higher rank. He mentioned during the first day (when asking about why two precincts sent two cops on this case) that he didnt think Harry's precinct sent Harry here as a joke (there were some logic he used to prove this. I forgot). He believed that Harry has some worth he can bring to the case, though admittedly our blackout made him doubt that a little.
This was only reinforced when Harry found his badge that showed he had been an excellent cop before the blackout. In that scene you could ask once again why Kim followed us (you can even outright word the question "did you follow me because of rank", although that would raise his ire), and he would repeat the same reason while adding that Harry's precinct is one of the most brutal places to police, making the achievements etched onto our badge even more impressive.
I was wondering have you ever given Pathologic or Pathologic 2 a shot?It would be interesting to hear your thoughts on those games
I'll get back into pathologic 2 one of these days. It was a bit dry for my taste, but I didn't get far enough to get to the good stuff
I'm currently playing though pathologic 2, and I have no fucken idea what I'm doing. oh but it is fun, and an absolutely amazing games, that made me yell "EHAT TEH FECK IS DIS?" many a time, and the intro just made me laugh at the pure absurdity of the shit that was going on around me, but it's still an amazing game I had looked over at least twenty times before finally giving it a try. I completely agree that Pathologic 2 should be reviewed.
I don't think I could play Disco Elysium as much as I like what it is, I empathise too much with Harry even watching other people playing it and in the character I see my reflection- my boogeyman, the one thing above all I despise, the fool that stares back in every pane of glass stumbling through the world like some young infant. It's taken four attempts but I finally got through this video though it's still provoked tears and despite my wife's warning that I'm just hurting myself doing so. I won't lie my mind is my one reliable place of comfort and honestly the whole time I was listening I felt the squalid little shelter I wallow in to get away from the arbitrary world outside unravelling. I feel like me as a character has been dissected.
I wish I could explain more but my lexicon is failing me, I won't lie it's caused me great pain emotionally but perhaps it's what I need, the ugly reality I need to confront instead of turning my back on it and pretending it's not there for a while. Thanks.
Your lexicon is doing you proud, mate. You're heard.
Great video. I had a rather personal experience with this game that I’ve been writing down to cover in my own video so it’s good to see an overview of the game that covers some of the stuff I had thought about but I’m looking at it from the outside in now. This was a joy to watch
One of the best games of all time
Excellent video. One point I want to make:
The Old Lady (Paledriver) didn’t drink herself into someone else’s memories. She inherited those memories as an effect of prolonged exposure to the Pale. All things, even intangible things like memories and thoughts of other people, are said to float around in the pale.
Im not kidding when I say that ending to the video helped me. Thank you.
This game holds a special place in my heart. Especially the music that started when you stared at yourself in the mirror. Thank you. From a new subscriber.
So, I wonder, how much of Disco Elysium contributed to your transition to who you are now?
It's kind of how the game works. If you all but obliterated yourself and came back from the precipice, who would you become? What would you choose to become the you you want to be?
What would you allow to help shape this new you? Would you be completely open to all possibilities or only what you feel comfortable with? Should you go with your gut or explore, find and possibly push against all the borders you encounter to discover what you could, or should be?
I'm on my second playthrough and seeing what I would change and what I still hold fast to. To see if I missed something, going through with the knowledge I've gathered the first time to see how things play out now.
Just a thought.
I was in the place where you were, call it your own personal Silent Hill. After purging yourself and accepting that you are the one punishing yourself will liberate you, because you know you can stop punishing whenever you want if you REALLY want to. I have a friend who still lives inside his head, listening to his own punishing thoughts... After some time you need to stop listening to them and then they'll vanish. Hope he can leave his personal Silent Hill soon.
For what it’s worth, Leadhead, this video deeply resonated with me, maybe even more deeply than the game itself - and judging from everyone else’s comments, I’m not the only reed these winds have touched. As personal as everyone’s “Inland Empire” is, I believe you and Studio Zaum have touched upon some shared experience, some common underlying structure present in everyone’s inner worlds. I could go on, but the most sincere thing I can say to you right now is probably this: thank you.
Some of the best reviews and most personally impactfulanalyses I have ever experienced have came from this game. It really helps put description to the inner monologues and thoughts that everyone has. Disco Elysium is such a gripping, beautiful, and philosophical game I would heartily recommend it to ANYONE whether or not this game is your usual style.
Top notch video, you earned a subscription .
I don’t know if it’s cause I’m drunk, but this made me cry. I really needed this. LOVE U!!
I really liked your description of Measurehead - I wasn't able to empathize with this character when playing it at all and showing that there are some similarities between him and Harry and the reasoning behind his awful theories makes him... well, I can see now why they included him in the game. Thank you!
This game helped me so much after a breakup-slump.
Fantastic intro, great essay!
Makes me wish I'd played this game as heart-broken 23 year-old me. Such amazing writing, and such a tremendous pay-off for setting up the inner and outer world in which Harry moves. It's amazing how a game that consists almost entirely of clicking through dialogue trees managed to captivate me for 35 hours straight and I only stopped playing it because I needed sleep.
cut me deep when you made the statement about staying in your dirty little basement holding on to thoughts about your first love and childhood. " behind every reed is a playful monster, but sometimes you simply have to be another reed' - beautiful final quote.
This is the first time since watching a playthrough of "The Beginner's Guide" where I felt the need to sit and think after watching something on this dumb website. 10/10 video, good job
I love how much more confident you sound now
This video nails it. You very eloquently put in words the experiences I had going through the game.
Blows my mind how someone conceptualised this artwork of a game, and got everyone playing to collectively confront those same feelings in the depths of our consciousness. We may be born alone, and die alone, but games and videos like these, certainly make me forget this for a moment
I watched a lot of analysis on Disco Elysium and yours is the only one that truly puts my thoughts of the game into words. Subbed.
This has to be my favorite video of yours. By far. I've never played this game, but I think I have to now.
I keep coming back and watching this video again. Disco Elysium meant so much to me, and this essay makes me appreciate it even more and really understand why it had such an effect on me. Thank you
I feel like I've finally been understood. Not perfectly, but that's the whole point. Thank you. I want to say more but I can't. I don't know how to say more from here.
Ive started the game lots of times but my first time completing it was during last November. Fresh from a bad breakup, I lost myself in building this man back up. Towards the end of my run, I was told by the psychic mantis to find closure and I remember my eyes brimming with tears.
One of my favourite games now.
I truly wish there were more games like this. Some come close but Disco Elysium just hits the right spot
This is the best video on DE I've seen (and I've seen the most). Thank you! You've articulated many interesting things and even feelings very well
Your points are like poems for my ears. You left me off tears because is something i can relate cery strongly. That lonely kid was me in middle school and highschool. I cant describe how that you can be more precise. Thanks Leadhead, your words are strong and important.
Your videos deserve a lot more views. This is tremendous stuff
Your videos feel like listening to the opinions of that one really humble smart friend that you enjoy listening to. Idk how else to explain it but it really feels like I'm sitting on the couch next to you, you seem really down to earth and it's really cool to see that. I'm so glad your channel has fucking exploded in popularity, you really deserve it brother
10/10 - A masterpiece.
I really like the direction of this essay, it spoke to me greatly. Thank you.
The best analysis of this great story I've seen online, thank you.
Truly excellent, of all the video-essay analysing the game, I believe this one truly touched the heart of the experience. Not to invalidate so many other great takes, since they focus on different aspects but somehow, in a manner that escapes words, I feel this man understood *something* more than the others.
This was ... beautiful. Amazing. Sad. Scary. True. It spoke to my soul like very few things ever do. You've put into words something I have not been able to, and made me see this game from a whole new light.
Thank you for this.
This was fantastic. Goddamn excellent video essay!
Very rarely have i brought myself to comment on a video before. This was fantastically written, thank you so much for it!
Thank you for making this video. I understand that I can't express what you said in this video means to me, as cheesy as this sentence sounds, but... it's beautiful; It's more than thought provoking. It's something I needed to hear from someone else, not myself.
I know this vid is a bit older but I just wanted to say that I've never had a game challenge my own self-perception this much.
This game truly gave me a different view on life, and I will always remember it
Of all the creatures I've met, you are the kindest.
Saving Titus was such a part of our journey. But having enough points into Encyclopedia and Mazovian thinking then confronting the deserter, that time he accepts you as a fellow comrade- you know when you're able to remind him of the revolution song lyrics.
This game is unique. Those dancing kids somewhere near emptiness and that little girl working for her mum and so on.
Best game ever and I'm a boomer. Yeah Stalker, Planescape Torment, FF7 or Mask of the Betrayer are astonishing introspections but this. Nothing could come close.
fyi you don't need too much electro chemistry for the bug check; the phermone gives a TON to it. The two checks that I remember being important for the phasmid were the perception check and the inland empire which tells a slightly different narrative. This game is incredible; I can't wait to play it again now that I understand how all the systems work.
Been searching through the absolute avalanche of Disco Elysium video essays looking for someone who had SOMETHING of meaning to say about the phasmid. Phenomenal job
"Have you ever just stood there staring at yourself in a mirror, trying on different combinations of posture and facial expression when it occurred to you that you see nothing but sadness, invisible to the rest of the world?"
ok fuckin ouch, at least TELL ME when you're gonna look into me so fuckin deeply like that man hahaha
dude i slept with my headset on then this video come up. and i tell you what you said in the start of the video really hit, with the surreal vibe i had when i half-slept
Given it some more thought, this is the most meaningful analysis of art that I have ever come across of
You're a fantastic writer and extremely insightful
Up there with my top 3 of all time. The music by British Sea Power really suits the surreal atmosphere of this world and I can't wait for the book to be translated.
I hope the absolute magic of this game can be recaptured in a sequel because this game is one of, if not the only game to affect me on such a beautifully personal level.
I should really spend my next week bing-watching your channel. Awwwwwww
You are a damn good writer, If I was not amazingly poor I would hop on your Patreon right now.
This give me goosebumps all the way through
4:28 Damn this is deep.
The first 18 seconds hit me like a truck, I’m not sure if you’re good at scripts or I relate too much. I don’t think that’s good.
beat the entire game and i never saw that ex something sequence.
really should play this again
This was great. I love DE so much.
love this, thanks for sharing
Damn thats the best video essey i have ever seen
Amazed this video has so little views. Your channel will blow up soon im sure of it.
I'm here for it!
YO,
Its faster to say: " Go outside, lol; Get a Life, lol"
But you caught for me the deeper essence of being trapped in your own mind... A big problem.
Sadly, all our wealth and conveniences only make us more predisposed to stay appart.
I sometimes go back and watch videos of leadhead i missed,
And damn he is an insightful guy,
Sure,as he reiterated in the beginners guy video, it might taint the experience with his own view,but i think its better that way,painting the canvas of a game with many different opinions,creating much more value than just my experience would have provided
Since I accidentally canceled my super long comment, let me take this opportunity to be less long-winded.
I really enjoyed this video essay and feel like it was a bold exploration of the themes and how they connect with you. I've noticed that your recent meta-commentary has been about you suffering from success, as it were, and wanted to offer some unsolicited advice based on seeing many other UA-camrs talking about their apparent problems and decisions: 1) Know when to take a break and be kind to yourself. Even if you make this your job, remember that the people who support you are supporting *you* and will generally be very understanding of you taking time off in service of your own sanity. 2) don't fall into the trap of trying to outdo yourself for every video. As you've said before, what people engage with will often differ from your intentions, but ultimately people watch and subscribe and support you because on the whole, they like what you do. It's understandable that you may want to hone your craft over time, but you should prioritize sustainability and your own well-being above that. 3) Remember that you're the guy with the successful UA-cam channel, not me, and probably not any of the other people who will go around commenting on what you should or shouldn't be doing. Trust yourself, because it has been your own decisions that brought you this success and your current supporters. Don't let bad comments bring you down if you can help it, and try to find healthy and productive ways to engage with any feedback you collect from others.
Man, I feel like I just got out of a boxing match where I went 10 rounds but lost spectacularly.
I have had trouble trying to understand a feeling that I knew was there but at the same time could not fathem and or describe is we me on my little ball and this ball was full if anger worries and regret and wishing I could understand
And I thought I was off that ball a long time ago the only difference is the ball grew older and larger maby with this new way of thinking i can find a way to get of that ball for good
I think I will buy this game now
Great video!
why is this video less popular than the rest even though its good?
For me disco is another home.
Wow that first line is so affecting...
Man, this video hits different
humans are weird.
we want to be understood, but only in a way that makes people like us by hiding the parts we don't want others looking at. we can't handle an echo chamber where we hear just our own thoughts or we go crazy, but going out and totally denying the echo chamber, lacking any self reflection, would be suicide of individuality. we evolved to become social creatures, then self-imposed restrictions on what we can say to each other and how we say it, then made it even harder by having to say stuff "the right way" so we don't step on toes or sound like a sociopath.
humans are weird.
HARDCORE!
HARDCORE TO THE MEGA!
WELCOME TO REVACHOL!
Great video about a great game.
I guess this is where games are heading, taking on the challenge of incorporating heavy taboo topics and turning them into educational experiences to give some insight into what society fails to educate to it’s younglings and what eventually leaves many people making the same mistakes over and over again. It won’t make life much easier knowing from a young age that it can, and probably will be tragic at times, but it will make it more bearable knowing we’re all in this together instead of in our separate dark corners, hiding from the people who we assume are fine and who probably won’t grasp the mindset we’re in. What hurts the most is that the ones that do love you can never fully understand and that makes their words of compassion powerful enough to want them around, but not nearly sufficient to feel understood. Not that you would ever consider explaining, even if you could. Let them have it, their borders of ignorance defending them from nihilism. Let them be wilfully blind even if they don’t dare to look. What’s the use of being awake and opening your eyes anyways if the only thing you see is the black abyss that surrounds us all. Let them dream. Their ignorance once felt unfair, but now is the only thing that feels warm and although it might not mean anything in the end for any of us, they think it does and that’s a gift you would give your loved ones if they were in your position.
Thank you man
I have to do a lot of thinking on this one
This is a great take on the game, much better than the communards who drool over its post modern settings and propagandic character development. However, I dont feel it encompasses what I got from the game. Namely, the true nature of the pale.
The game ultimately, I feel, is about the fight against entropy in all its forms and hauntology. We see the city and moreover the nations, the Isola's, in a dire state close to our own world. Culture, love, spirituality even reality have all rotted and become corrupted, forever folding in on themselves and cannibalizing their own bodies to continue on, ultimately rotting. Much like how you describe the inland empire. This is the pale, an entropic force slowly edging its way into the remainder of the physical world is a literal embodiment of this and in the center of Revachol (in the church) is literally a growing seed of this pale.
Now, in my conversation with the bug, I did not come to the conclusion that my corpse would be eaten alive. I haven't seen anyone else mention these incredibly memorable conversations I with it, so I think I may have gotten an encounter most haven't.
The phasmid told me in detail that it had conversed with the rest of the world. It had convened with the birds and the insects and the other animals. That it had been around for hundreds of years (maybe even longer). The phasmid told me that human beings are ultimately the the origin of the pale. That we are the true cryptids, an unprecedented violent apocalypse that is creating the next mass extinction event that will utterly obliterate the world. Our minds that cannot let go of what we see, endlessly holding on to past (unlike the bug) and creating this unimaginable nothingness thats swallowing the world whole.
It is mark fishers hauntology incarnate. It is a manifested version of the very same thing that is eating our world alive right now. The reason we continue on in perpetual cultural loops of violence and recycled husks. The reason our civilizations and our world cannot move on from the horrors of the last century and why our world is a stark reflection of the one in disco elysium.
Unlike in DE, the pale does not manifest itself in such a literal way, but its effects are ultimately the same on our psyche and our civilization. Continuously our cities become bombed out husks of their former glory with mentally ravished and decimated populations becoming increasingly displaced in these ruins of our former world. The rotting status quo (produced by extraordinary individuals attempting to manifest their inland empires in reality ultimately ending in brutal and destructive violence (think Hittler, Stalin, Dolores Dei)) is ultimately the consequence of this inability to let go we humans poses.
one of the final things the bug told me (in an adorable voice that was added in the final cut, highly recommend) was that it loved me, and it gave me the advice to turn away at the video rental store. To turn away from the ruins. To let go.
If you've read this far thank you, and I hope in your playthrough you get this Interaction, as it is a wonderfully uplifting experience. Value the things that are alive, the things are least corruptible, and above all, value the insurmountable beauty and awe that exists in the world if only you take a moment to look for it. Do not let the pale win. That is the message of the game to me.
Savoir faire: great fucking job kid. You make me a proud gym teacher
I wish I understood more of this video. And I’m not sure what to say after that...
I'd like to hear his take on 'The Friends of Ringo Ishikawa'.
i feel so stupid now, played the game two times by now and i thought i understood it, but as it turns out i was far from being right about that
thanks.
Thank you bro
22:05
Encyclopedia: no, I don't think so
Now your channel name makes sense.
This whole topic makes me feel extremely depressed...
But it's sort of the point
medium concept
oof.... well ... I need to think about that a bit...
wow
Guys what was bleaker in your opinion? The essey about i have no mouth and i must scream or this one?
Very astute observation about the inability of saying what you really think - and I believe this ties into the political themes of the game, the impossibility of sincere belief - not just in communism/socialism, but anything at all, being the 'last man' living out 'the end of history', as it were. Revachol is a 1990s eastern europe in microcosm, a ruin of still utopia managed by foreign financiers. Your (the character that is) former affiliation with the political left is hinted at constantly but like everything else about you is sanded down and washed off with alcohol and ennui. Indeed you never get a single chance to argue for communism earnestly - it always devolves into some ironic joke about wanting to commit terror and excess, killing every person wearing glasses and so on. Without this ironic distance you simply would not be able to be a communist at all. Thanks for the video.