I really needed this. My gf just chose another man over me yesterday. I gave her all my love, care, affection, feelings, dreams, hope. She made me feel so safe. I thought I knew that even if my Dad went to jail I would still have her. This was my first ever relationship, and I gave her all my time, effort. I gave her my heart.. I gave her eveything I could. She told me she loved me first. She said all these lovey things that made me feel like she was forcing her love onto me, but I reciprocated her feelings and said them back. Because I knew deep down that even if I didn't feel the same way, that I would be with someone who cared, and nobody else I knew, outside my close family, ever showed any sort of appreciation for who I really was deep down. Even to my closest of friends, I was putting on a mask. Sometimes a mask not unlike my own face, but still a mask. I changed myself as a person, I said things I didn't mean just because I had to fit in. I never knew how to conversate with people because I was just so different. But with "Cassidy" I felt like I could always say what was on my mind. What was annoying or weird to other ppl, was "cute" to her. She told me I was the only person who made her happy. Over time those things I said to her became real feelings. My love grew, and grew, and grew; And hers only faded. Yet she never told me how she really felt. She never told me I had to change. She only ever hinted to her changing feelings, after she had already fell out of love. She never tried to fix it. We had conversations before, but she just lied, even after showing how much I cared, she couldn't even care enough to tell me how she really felt about us, even after I confessed over and over again that I wanted to be her forever. She told me she wanted my kids, we came up with names, we made college plans together. Many nights and days we spent together, in my 2013 subaru legacy. The route to her house was so familiar to me that it became my own touge. It was such a great windy, and varied road. With steep and flat sections. I didn't care about the law. I was so fired up. The anger which once fueled my dangerous driving faded. Now love and passion did. On an almost daily basis I would drive to see her and hangout. Almost every day I would spend hours and hours in her company. Most every day, I would find myself exceeding 50+ over mph the speed limit in a 30, and 65 over in a 55. All just so I could spend more time with her. She seemed perfect. She was the only one who wasn't fazed by my driving. She told me I made her feel safe, and she trusted in my abilities, because she knew I wouldn't let her get hurt. I drove even faster with her next to me. People called me crazy when they saw me going 25 over, but Casssidy liked it when I pushed the limit of grip. I even reached my record top speed with her, 135 mph, on our way driving to a place for vacation. The 1st and second (only times) I ran from the cops were with her next to me. I remember the second time I hit 120 mph in a 55, when it was pouring 😂😂😂. I was so crazy, but I was crazy for her. I was crazy to think we would last forever 😢. But now, my cars in the shop, the transmission blew, and I don't even have my special someone. I have my simulator, but it just isn't the same thing. I like my simulator, but it can't be a replacement to the real thing, in my time of need. Everything reminds me of her, but nothing can console or douse my emotional fire. It can't, and won't go away. I feel like I need someone else in my life to replace the hole she left, but I have no social skills, Cassidy basically carried all our early interactions. I feel like nobody else could love me or understand me they way she once did. I don't think I'll ever find a woman, who can just love me for who I am, because nobody is like me. Nobody around me at least. Me and Cassidy weren't even that similar, we just had an appreciation for each other (at least she did at one point). I don't even know how to end this vent, because my feelings just keep pouring and pouring, no matter what I say, there will always be more for me to express, because she never leaves my mind. She consumed my thoughts when we were together, and it made me happy. Now the thoughts which consume my mind about her, only hurt me.
@@kevinuploadingwhatever I’m so sorry you had to go through that bro, I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I know what a heavy blow to the heart feels like, and how’s you and your car btw
@@-ShadowZER0- Im doing better as of recently. However, it's just complicated. I do have my car, but I'm still adjusting to college life. Its all very new, but I'd say for the most part I've had good changes. As of about 2 months ago, I have become very consistent with my training regimen. I am trying to become a better person, but like everything its a work in progress. I am however, no longer as distraught as I used to be. I'm not fully alright, but I don't think I've ever been fully alright, even before her. That doesn't matter too much however. I'm just happy that I've been able to move past this, even if it wasn't so graceful at first.
I really needed this. My gf just chose another man over me yesterday. I gave her all my love, care, affection, feelings, dreams, hope. She made me feel so safe. I thought I knew that even if my Dad went to jail I would still have her.
This was my first ever relationship, and I gave her all my time, effort. I gave her my heart.. I gave her eveything I could. She told me she loved me first. She said all these lovey things that made me feel like she was forcing her love onto me, but I reciprocated her feelings and said them back. Because I knew deep down that even if I didn't feel the same way, that I would be with someone who cared, and nobody else I knew, outside my close family, ever showed any sort of appreciation for who I really was deep down. Even to my closest of friends, I was putting on a mask. Sometimes a mask not unlike my own face, but still a mask. I changed myself as a person, I said things I didn't mean just because I had to fit in. I never knew how to conversate with people because I was just so different.
But with "Cassidy" I felt like I could always say what was on my mind. What was annoying or weird to other ppl, was "cute" to her. She told me I was the only person who made her happy. Over time those things I said to her became real feelings. My love grew, and grew, and grew; And hers only faded. Yet she never told me how she really felt. She never told me I had to change. She only ever hinted to her changing feelings, after she had already fell out of love. She never tried to fix it. We had conversations before, but she just lied, even after showing how much I cared, she couldn't even care enough to tell me how she really felt about us, even after I confessed over and over again that I wanted to be her forever.
She told me she wanted my kids, we came up with names, we made college plans together.
Many nights and days we spent together, in my 2013 subaru legacy. The route to her house was so familiar to me that it became my own touge. It was such a great windy, and varied road. With steep and flat sections. I didn't care about the law. I was so fired up. The anger which once fueled my dangerous driving faded. Now love and passion did. On an almost daily basis I would drive to see her and hangout. Almost every day I would spend hours and hours in her company. Most every day, I would find myself exceeding 50+ over mph the speed limit in a 30, and 65 over in a 55. All just so I could spend more time with her. She seemed perfect. She was the only one who wasn't fazed by my driving. She told me I made her feel safe, and she trusted in my abilities, because she knew I wouldn't let her get hurt. I drove even faster with her next to me. People called me crazy when they saw me going 25 over, but Casssidy liked it when I pushed the limit of grip. I even reached my record top speed with her, 135 mph, on our way driving to a place for vacation. The 1st and second (only times) I ran from the cops were with her next to me. I remember the second time I hit 120 mph in a 55, when it was pouring 😂😂😂. I was so crazy, but I was crazy for her. I was crazy to think we would last forever 😢.
But now, my cars in the shop, the transmission blew, and I don't even have my special someone. I have my simulator, but it just isn't the same thing. I like my simulator, but it can't be a replacement to the real thing, in my time of need.
Everything reminds me of her, but nothing can console or douse my emotional fire. It can't, and won't go away. I feel like I need someone else in my life to replace the hole she left, but I have no social skills, Cassidy basically carried all our early interactions. I feel like nobody else could love me or understand me they way she once did. I don't think I'll ever find a woman, who can just love me for who I am, because nobody is like me. Nobody around me at least. Me and Cassidy weren't even that similar, we just had an appreciation for each other (at least she did at one point).
I don't even know how to end this vent, because my feelings just keep pouring and pouring, no matter what I say, there will always be more for me to express, because she never leaves my mind. She consumed my thoughts when we were together, and it made me happy. Now the thoughts which consume my mind about her, only hurt me.
"Now you can accept the reality. Your car is dead."
had to search what is a subaru legacy
i thought it was a suv for some reason but no it's just a sedan
@@AFinnGundam It’s basically the Impreza’s big brother, or maybe it’s father since it was in rallying first
@@kevinuploadingwhatever I’m so sorry you had to go through that bro, I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I know what a heavy blow to the heart feels like, and how’s you and your car btw
@@-ShadowZER0- Im doing better as of recently. However, it's just complicated. I do have my car, but I'm still adjusting to college life. Its all very new, but I'd say for the most part I've had good changes.
As of about 2 months ago, I have become very consistent with my training regimen. I am trying to become a better person, but like everything its a work in progress. I am however, no longer as distraught as I used to be. I'm not fully alright, but I don't think I've ever been fully alright, even before her. That doesn't matter too much however. I'm just happy that I've been able to move past this, even if it wasn't so graceful at first.