I agree, a lot of people are just thinking about marriage being all roses and sunshine, when there’s hardships too. Marriage will come to us when الله swt knows we’re ready just have taqwa.
I think marrying out desperation makes it more likely that you settle for someone you don’t actually want. You may just like the idea of that person rather than who they are and you can’t see that because you’re desperate. And that’s scary because this is your life partner and will greatly impact your life.
No you know the scariest thing, desperation can have you settling with a man who doesn’t actually want you…that’s the worst because you live a life where you are devoted and he’s half interested. Be patient ladies
@@madeleineprice3556 Patient until you reach geriatric pregnancy? By the way Downs Syndrome and Autism is on the rise among Muslim families due to delayed pregnancies. We have to also work on ourselves and realize there is no such thing as settling but accepting. While you are settling you have also acknowledge he is settling with you. There is always someone better in character and religiousity. But if keep going we will never build a family then you would no Muslim community. This is advise from my mother who was married for 35 years. You will continue have impulses but effect is lover, and at times you might run into to people who you might have a click with, or even think slightly would if I had married him? But realizing if you did it would NEVER stop, because you will go on forever like this. That is what women are doing no, divorcing good men like Amazon returns, breaking families in the process. We have to realize our modern cultural wants hooks ups not marriage ups!
It’s easier said then done, but when you’re 30 plus and your family, friends, colleagues keep asking you get married omg you’re so old you haven’t had children subhanAllah it’s very hard not to breakdown. May Allah make it easy for everyone praying to get married ameen❤
Not only that in this generation and time it hard to fine someone good. I am a divorce woman with a kid ,and i was with a guy after my divorce and he didnt want to accept me after 3 yrs together because i am divorce and have a child. And i tried in the 3yrs with him to show him despite of my pass and kid i am still a good woman and i treated him the way a wife would treat a man and yet it wasnt good enough.
@@aliyahali3056Sister, I am saddened for you. As Muslim women, we should stay within the boundaries of Islam for our own protection. A man who is not willing to commit to you after 6mo-1yr is wasting your time. It may be hard to find a good serious man but we can make the process easier by setting firm boundaries, having standards and vetting properly. If you have to prove your "worth" to a man, he’s not the one. I pray Allah SWT bless you with an amazing husband one day 🤲 Ameen
He said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one among you who wakes up secure in his property, healthy in his body and has his food for the day, it is as if the whole world were brought to him.” A GOOD marriage is undoubtedly a huge blessing but if you are waiting around feeling like you cant be happy in life until you get married, this is not healthy. If you have these three things per the hadith, you have been given the whole world. Would you agree to sacrifice your health, for example, to have a husband? If not, then what you have must be better. Be grateful for what you have while having hope in His mercy to give you more and answer your prayers.
I completely agree with your point about you'd rather wait for the right one then go through multiple marriages. Unfortunately I see a lot of sisters make hasty decisions and choose the wrong guy because of societal pressure. It's ALWAYS better to be alone than to be married to the wrong person and miserable.
In some cases people's past trauma lead to future fears, So ppl sabotage any prospects for the "idea" of that Disney fairy tale. Which doesn't exist. Perfection doesn't exist in this world , so your nevrr going to find thr "right one", you have common ground and become the right people together, you never know someone till you live with them, so you can wait 10 15 yrs, if ur not meant to be together then it won't work, point is no one will be abke to make the precise calculation, you can only tie ur camel, trust in Allah say bismillah.😊
I got married at 27 ignoring many red flags. 8 years later, I often think I'd be better off alone. When he calls me to bed, it feels like rape. I have to mentally block it out. I wouldn't wish an unhappy marriage on anyone.
To be honest I want to fulfill my desires in a halal way. I do not want to fall into zina and I think that is a valid reason to get married. Ofcourse I want it to work out and find my person but judging from what I see others go through, it doesn't seem so likely. I have needs and want them to get met in a way that pleases Allah swt. I think I kind of "gave up" on love since I am 34 now.
34 is not that old yet. A lot of Western muslim females marry at an older age. Usually around 28-30+. As a male (26) I requested some females ranging from 22-26. But all refuse because they are "busy finishing for college" or "don't feel ready yet" so that means when I am 30 I can finally marry someone 😅
“If anyone continually asks pardon, Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress, and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide for him from where he did not reckon.
Beautiful video. I’m 29 and unmarried, I think the last part of your video was the most important part. I often picture myself in the far future decades later, what if I am still single since were only 100% guaranteed a spouse in Jannah, I think to myself if I’m still single decades from now what kind of life do I want to lead, while I still of course maintain my hope and dua for it in this life. This line of thinking pushes me when I’m down alhamdulilah I’ll keep pushing cause I have a huge role in this life as a Muslim woman whether happened to be single or married. Allah is our centre, not marriage.
Wow this video was on right time, I don't have a close friend it was really useful thing to hear from a Muslim woman perspective specially that I'm going through some pressures mentally from my arab society, thank you ❤ I love you so much
I’m a dude but I watched this video and though it was very well made- as someone who was obsessed with getting married this video helped pull me back to reality and think more rash, really appreciate this.
Agree with the title. Go live your life and if its Willed for you, it'll come your way. Make your dua but be productive in life and make use of the time you have. A lot will change once you marry, and may Allah الله enable those changes to be for the good.
That's soo true got married to a wrong girl she made fun of my financial situation was making me go against my brother and parrents was extremely toxic it destroyed my mental health completely be very cautious when choosing a partner never marrying again ever
so true and this came up on my feed after so much overthinking 😭loll. But love this reminder Girl and May ALLAH BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU HAPPY! it reminded me of this quote "Your spouse isn't there to complete you but to compliment you" like how we should complete ourselves first, focus on our half first before searching for the other half until we are satisfied in knowing ourselves and our skills, character, maturity , imaan at a certain level that feels strong/stable and reached our good healthy potential ourselves than putting that fully on our spouse and even though we live for the dreamy fantasy of marriage it is a reality filled with responsibilities too and we have to have some level of self fulfilment without depending on anybody except Allah of coursee. Also my name is Hafsa too!!!!
Alhamdullilah - this video is a charity and a blessing. Thank you for your words, I appreciate you and I pray your life now and in the hereafter, because you are beautiful inside and out!
Unbelievable but true, all these just so much match with my personality.. and now i have known that i need to change these. I need no man to validate me. Please make more of such contents xoxo
Everyone can do whatever they want in life. If you want to chase a man or a woman just to get married, you will most likely not be in a good relationship. Your partner can either be the half of youl or make you half of what you are. Be smart in your choises. If you want to be desperate, well go ahead. Ill pray for yall-
Thank you for this video! It came at the right time and you said the things which I never could get out of my mouth! Allah swt sent this video across for me alhamdulillah
I just stumbled upon your channel, and I really appreciate the content!! I lowkey need you to post hijab tutorials of every single style you wear though the neck coverage is what I NEEEEED 😩
I agree with mostly everything you said! Obviously marriage ain't all roses and sunshine. However, I don't see how it's a bad thing for people with strict parents waiting to get married to feel free to do all the things they've always wanted. How's that giving the man way too much power?? Surely, he wouldn't be as controlling..? I'm genuinely curious You specifically mention "strict parents" then go on to say "If you want to do it you can" How? People with strict parents obviously don't get the freedom to do it.
Nothing in your life will give you what a partner can, life is so much better with a close relationship of a significant other, you cant give yourself the love that a partner can give you and you will realize this soon or on your deathbed .
Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm not good enough to be with anyone maybe I would only bring them down and they would deserve someone better and more righteous than me I feel like my flaws would only hurt them in the process so it's better to just be on my own
I love this! can you do a video on how you can acc love yourself and understand yourself and get clser to deen? i feel like with work i am so busy that even tho i pray i am not clos to my deen i feel like i am lacking. How do you make time for and what kinds of things do you do (quran journaling? listening to podcasts etc?) and how do you ensure to keep it in your daily schedule? Also could you talk about how to know what you want from a marriage and how to know if you are even ready for it? Jazakallah sisss
Listen to AMAU: ustadh abdulrahman hassan (rights and responsibilities in marriage) he has a playlist from many years ago. I wanted to marry at 17 but waited until I finished school at 18, since 16/18 is the law to have nikah in the UK. It was lockdown so I couldnt go to the masjid and look really. I married a 31 year old practicing deen, funny, highly intelligent and a well built man and I was 18. I was on single Muslim for 2 weeks max and was only wanted serious people. There was only 4 people in total but I got straight to the point, no time wasting. Especially when that was the first time I was looking to be in a relationship/wanting marriage. Alhamdulillah I listened to plenty of dating coaches like Matthew Boggs. BUUTTT, I cant stress enough how important knowing the rights and responsibilities are in Islam. I was pregnant at 18, gave birth at home by myself with my husband next to me with no midwives coz I didn't want them interfering and I knew what I was doing, gave birth at 19. 6 months later got pregnant again. Gave birth at home again. Now I'm 21 with a beautiful 2 year old boy and a 1 year old girl
Jzk 💖needed this video sis! Everything you said was on point! Our worthwhile is not in being married or not and a man cannot fix all the problems we have but Allah can 💯 I think other than the natural desire to be married nowadays fitna is widespread and marriage is a protection. Keep up the content sis, can you make a video on red flags and questions we should ask before marriage.
Agree with all Your Points whatever you said in the Video that Men and Women should Understand their Self Worth and not marry out of Desperation and Low Esteem and Trust In Allah that Each will be Blessed with a Good Spouse sooner or Later which will be an Added Bonus Also with Due Respect the Point that you said about Statistics where only the Women is Miserable and Men are Happy is not True it could be the Other Way Around as well so we cant Generalize this At the End it will all comes down to the Fact that Men and Women should be Confident in themselves and Have that Self Worth and Improve themselves at the Same Time and Fulfill each Others Rights and not Treat each Other as Doormats
@deenforce1142 Thanks for your Opinion and Yes the Feminist Views may have been because her Video is mostly addressing Women which is Fine In fact it helps us Men understand the Perspective of Women as well
@@AMAANJUWALEY I like to be very caution Muslims speaking like this without Islamic knowledge because if its not deen its coming from somewhere it should be. I was listening lectures of "real" learned Muslims about the dangers of delaying marriage. In our society delaying marriage for reasons of religious education, spirituality, career, etc. leads to haram path in most cases. Delaying marriage also in line with what is being taught by modern feminist who consider marriage institution to hinder women's development being a wife, mother, being subordinate to husband in financial capacity, and decision making, etc. Thus, for Muslim woman to tell others do delay marriage and focus ONLY on yourself is par for the course. We have the Quran and Sunnah and righteous predecessors, etc no need to follow a "modern women" narrative to define how Muslim women need to group religiously and spiritually. Also marriage age varies from person to person. One sister could be ready for marriage at 18yrs while another is 30+ yrs. Why are "suppressing" others from marriage who are ready? That is not our deen. I read comments of sisters here who may have marriage prospect but turned away having listened to this video! She might have dodged a bullet or actually got shot with zinah fitna having turned away from halal. Abu Tamiyyha, etc have already mentioned many sisters at the universities have lost their virginity. I was in school I saw Muslim women with non men before my conversion and that was 24 years ago!
As a boy, not as a girl, I benefited greatly from this video. In the end, truly, we have no one but Allah Almighty. I also admired the lady in the video, and with all due respect, I invite you to have a little conversation with me. Perhaps our souls will find comfort in one another, and Allah might bring us together. والله ما اريد الا الخير
Walaikum Salam. Beautiful and wise, and too good at summing up thoughts convey them in the form of words. Awesome message for girls in particular.. JazakaAllah Khair..
Finally someone said it!! People be looking at married life as if it's a disney movie, "happily ever after" Rightfully earned another subscriber! and girl, you're so PRETTY!! Allahumma Barik!!
The problem is the girls (parents) and community. It’s tough for guys when meher market is reset after every Kita kitab. 50k meher car house 100k wedding?
@@hafsahyoosufunfortunately, that’s what everyone says until contact negotiations start. It’s all talk “were buying a good man to we need this that etc. “ this is the case with Syrian communities in Chicago and West Bloomfield communities.
We were with the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were young and had no wealth. So Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." - Sahih al-Bukhari 5066
I remember someone saying to this woman who said she wants God to send her a husband. He replied back with he had two aunts who died alone waiting on God
Ok i truly WISH someone would give me advice because my condition as a 22 year old women who has a very very strict father a.k.a couldn’t go out alone, no gym, no university, no hang out with friends and i’ve been living like this my whole life while i’ve always love to travel and walk and simple became one with nature. Now, I started to feel something toxic each time i yearn to get married i think about how i would finally free and able to get my degree or start a business and go out anywhere with my man. I hate that i don’t enjoy my single life, i hate how i keep dreaming about marriage all the time when i know damn well marriage has a tons of responsibilities that is probably more tough than what i’ve been facing today. So girls.. i need advice, wallahi i just don’t know what to do anymore.
Well, I've never ever felt valued by anyone, not by friends, not even by family and sometimes not even at home.. so yes, I "crave" for marriage. I want to find that someone that will make me valuable in their eyes and make me their world as I will make them my world. It's not as easy as it sounds to "stop thinking about marriage" when you have felt worthless by the whole world. Even if you keep yourself busy with Quran, books, Salah etc you need a person beside you, we were created as social beings. You just want to find that person who makes you feel worthfull for them. Coming from a 26M
Maybe you should try therapy, you don’t want to end up hurt if you don’t have a healthy idea of relationships (not in a rude way) as you may go for the wrong type of person. It sounds like you have anxious attachment style and marriage won’t solve it. You’ll find healthy relationships one day insha’Allah
Waking up from this mindset maybe hurts you but it's true that it will relief your hurt later and you find yourself very calm and sabir cause at the end it's not the purpose of our life 🫶💗
I’m in my 30’s and still a virgin…sometimes I just wonder what’s it like to kiss a man I’m attracted to. Sadly I’ll die a virgin I know it because I feel it’s too late
Why is it too late? Age 30 is not old. If Allah wills, you can get married within the next few months. Have faith in Allah and hope for the best from Him. I am 31 and unmarried but I am happy and I trust that Allah will take care of me regardless of whether I get married or not.
In general woman refuse a man faster than vice versa... because woman are having high standards. On the contrary a man just wants a wife who will love him. If you are a lady, just go to your local masjid and ask if there is a guy who wants to marry. Surely the imam knows the Djamaat and pick a guy who he sees often and getting you linked together with someone.. women really have a lot of choices to get in contact with a guy. Woman should stop expecting that the man should always take the first step towards her and that a man will fall from the sky asking her for marriage...
my sister married at age of 40's , just ask allah for it ask allah for every detail that you want in your futur husband it's not عيب , and pls stop making those worried ideas real muslim should not think like this . take this as your sing and go ask allah just do qiyam al layl .
Can u make a video on how to decide to wear hijab but you have fears about wearing it? Like hair lose, hair thinning etc. And what hair care to have when wearing hijab and what hijab materials can I wear that's best for all hair types and can I wear one without a cap? One that doesn't come off easily?
Whomever Allah blesses with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half. Marriage is also an emphasized sunnah. Let’s try to please Allah swt with the advice we give to the people. If we were to give a bad advice and people were to follow it, we will surely be held accountable for it.
Its the direct opposite of what you are saying is true. Many are suffering from loneliness and being disenfranchisement due to the feminist propaganda. You dont see the direct attack on manhood in general in movies, music, tv shows, commercials,etc. Sheikh Uthman Ibn Farouq did a pod cast with Gabriel Romani about this issue, including feminization of men. Its real. Women even Muslim are being indoctrinated by the universities to far left politics against men. Its not strange a significant number of these women take psych coursers, and counseling, etc. There even behavioral health options for this so-called empowerment" by degrading men. Men are always at fault for relationships, subject of false misconduct allegations, etc. Men have not changed in values, women has being so called free and promiscuous, abandon family for career, marry in your 40s-50s, but used up your youth with "exploring the world" "having fun" etc. These actions lead us to no where except a bunch of memories of "good times" and never developed spiritually or intellectually. Finally. we have too many "ignorant Muslim women Influencers" who abandon Quran and Sunnah in favor of western and secular thought like Islam is incomplete. Dont just listen to any Muslim because she has on a hijab, computer, and a microphone.
So how do we make dua, I know the verses in the Quran that are for it and we can say... I mean How to make dua that helps us understand what we want I don't know but you get the point?
Adorable beautiful cutest prettiest sweetest innocent face gorgeous woman looking stunningly beautiful so pretty so sweet so cute so beautiful just like an innocent cute doll You are the bestst among all the best May God bless you with the best ❤❤😊😊😊❤❤❤🎉
What’s wrong with her saying we should focus on our relationship with Allah? And to have self-worth? Just say you want women to settle for less😂it’s not feminism to say Muslim women devalue ourselves and don’t demand our rights that Allah gave us
@@JJ-qd9yl Yes. You do focus on your relationship with Allah but it’s not an excuse to avoid marriage. This is similar to behavior of nuns and priest. This a well know hadith stating the Prophet’s DIRECT DISAPPROVAL of this kind of worship: Remember the Hadith about the three men who wanted to pray all night forever, fast through the year, and not marry forever. And the Prophets response! reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 5063 Also Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, rejected ‘Uthman ibn Maz’un from vowing celibacy, and had he given him permission, we would have castrated ourselves. Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5073, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1402
@@JJ-qd9yl Yes. You do focus on your relationship with Allah but it’s not an excuse to avoid marriage. This is similar to behavior of nuns and priest. This a well know hadith stating the Prophet’s DIRECT DISAPPROVAL of this kind of worship: Remember the Hadith about the three men who wanted to pray all night forever, fast through the year, and not marry forever. And the Prophets response! Source Bukhari 5063 Also Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, rejected ‘Uthman ibn Maz’un from vowing celibacy, and had he given him permission, we would have castrated ourselves. Source Bukhari 5073 and Muslim 1402
I know it’s me.. I'm the problem. I hope I'm not the only one.😂 Just a little advice ukhti. If you can, please change your mice to a black one. Because it's very distracting. Your every topic is🔥 Still in the middle of conversation, I get distracted by your mice.🥲
I am in that phase of meeting someone who I think he would be a good spouse to me, but the fact that chasing marriage as you mentioned is getting over me, so I had to step back and rethink the whole thing Baraka Allahu fiki hafsa🤍🤍
I agree, a lot of people are just thinking about marriage being all roses and sunshine, when there’s hardships too. Marriage will come to us when الله swt knows we’re ready just have taqwa.
Just don't end up dying alone waiting on God. I know many older women who ended up like this.
I think marrying out desperation makes it more likely that you settle for someone you don’t actually want. You may just like the idea of that person rather than who they are and you can’t see that because you’re desperate. And that’s scary because this is your life partner and will greatly impact your life.
No you know the scariest thing, desperation can have you settling with a man who doesn’t actually want you…that’s the worst because you live a life where you are devoted and he’s half interested. Be patient ladies
@@madeleineprice3556 Patient until you reach geriatric pregnancy? By the way Downs Syndrome and Autism is on the rise among Muslim families due to delayed pregnancies. We have to also work on ourselves and realize there is no such thing as settling but accepting. While you are settling you have also acknowledge he is settling with you. There is always someone better in character and religiousity. But if keep going we will never build a family then you would no Muslim community. This is advise from my mother who was married for 35 years. You will continue have impulses but effect is lover, and at times you might run into to people who you might have a click with, or even think slightly would if I had married him? But realizing if you did it would NEVER stop, because you will go on forever like this. That is what women are doing no, divorcing good men like Amazon returns, breaking families in the process. We have to realize our modern cultural wants hooks ups not marriage ups!
It’s easier said then done, but when you’re 30 plus and your family, friends, colleagues keep asking you get married omg you’re so old you haven’t had children subhanAllah it’s very hard not to breakdown. May Allah make it easy for everyone praying to get married ameen❤
Not only that in this generation and time it hard to fine someone good. I am a divorce woman with a kid ,and i was with a guy after my divorce and he didnt want to accept me after 3 yrs together because i am divorce and have a child. And i tried in the 3yrs with him to show him despite of my pass and kid i am still a good woman and i treated him the way a wife would treat a man and yet it wasnt good enough.
@@aliyahali3056 Why were you with a man for 3 years when he didn't want to commit to you? whose fault is this?
@@aliyahali3056Sister, I am saddened for you. As Muslim women, we should stay within the boundaries of Islam for our own protection. A man who is not willing to commit to you after 6mo-1yr is wasting your time. It may be hard to find a good serious man but we can make the process easier by setting firm boundaries, having standards and vetting properly. If you have to prove your "worth" to a man, he’s not the one. I pray Allah SWT bless you with an amazing husband one day 🤲 Ameen
He said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one among you who wakes up secure in his property, healthy in his body and has his food for the day, it is as if the whole world were brought to him.”
A GOOD marriage is undoubtedly a huge blessing but if you are waiting around feeling like you cant be happy in life until you get married, this is not healthy. If you have these three things per the hadith, you have been given the whole world. Would you agree to sacrifice your health, for example, to have a husband? If not, then what you have must be better. Be grateful for what you have while having hope in His mercy to give you more and answer your prayers.
I completely agree with your point about you'd rather wait for the right one then go through multiple marriages. Unfortunately I see a lot of sisters make hasty decisions and choose the wrong guy because of societal pressure. It's ALWAYS better to be alone than to be married to the wrong person and miserable.
In some cases people's past trauma lead to future fears,
So ppl sabotage any prospects for the "idea" of that Disney fairy tale. Which doesn't exist.
Perfection doesn't exist in this world , so your nevrr going to find thr "right one", you have common ground and become the right people together, you never know someone till you live with them, so you can wait 10 15 yrs, if ur not meant to be together then it won't work, point is no one will be abke to make the precise calculation, you can only tie ur camel, trust in Allah say bismillah.😊
I got married at 27 ignoring many red flags. 8 years later, I often think I'd be better off alone. When he calls me to bed, it feels like rape. I have to mentally block it out. I wouldn't wish an unhappy marriage on anyone.
seek help if possible and please get out of this toxic relationship sister
this is a toxic marriage sis. If you have kids, they will suffer with you. Leave asap.
if you don’t want it, it IS rape.
To be honest I want to fulfill my desires in a halal way. I do not want to fall into zina and I think that is a valid reason to get married. Ofcourse I want it to work out and find my person but judging from what I see others go through, it doesn't seem so likely. I have needs and want them to get met in a way that pleases Allah swt. I think I kind of "gave up" on love since I am 34 now.
34 is not that old yet. A lot of Western muslim females marry at an older age. Usually around 28-30+. As a male (26) I requested some females ranging from 22-26. But all refuse because they are "busy finishing for college" or "don't feel ready yet" so that means when I am 30 I can finally marry someone 😅
Ma Sha Allah, looking for halaal ways to fullfill desires Allah gave us , is a sign of momin and momina Alhamdolillah
“If anyone continually asks pardon, Allah will appoint for him a way out of every distress, and a relief from every anxiety, and will provide for him from where he did not reckon.
Wow such a beautiful wake up call ⚘ Thank you for your advices. I like them. I will think about it.
Beautiful video. I’m 29 and unmarried, I think the last part of your video was the most important part. I often picture myself in the far future decades later, what if I am still single since were only 100% guaranteed a spouse in Jannah, I think to myself if I’m still single decades from now what kind of life do I want to lead, while I still of course maintain my hope and dua for it in this life. This line of thinking pushes me when I’m down alhamdulilah I’ll keep pushing cause I have a huge role in this life as a Muslim woman whether happened to be single or married. Allah is our centre, not marriage.
Wow this video was on right time, I don't have a close friend it was really useful thing to hear from a Muslim woman perspective specially that I'm going through some pressures mentally from my arab society, thank you ❤ I love you so much
I’m a dude but I watched this video and though it was very well made- as someone who was obsessed with getting married this video helped pull me back to reality and think more rash, really appreciate this.
Agree with the title. Go live your life and if its Willed for you, it'll come your way. Make your dua but be productive in life and make use of the time you have. A lot will change once you marry, and may Allah الله enable those changes to be for the good.
That's soo true got married to a wrong girl she made fun of my financial situation was making me go against my brother and parrents was extremely toxic it destroyed my mental health completely be very cautious when choosing a partner never marrying again ever
You are a God sent! I needed to hear this. I was already shifting my mentality to this, and you consolidated it today for me.
@@larosenoirek2197 I’m so glad😭🩷🫶🏻
so true and this came up on my feed after so much overthinking 😭loll. But love this reminder Girl and May ALLAH BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU HAPPY! it reminded me of this quote "Your spouse isn't there to complete you but to compliment you" like how we should complete ourselves first, focus on our half first before searching for the other half until we are satisfied in knowing ourselves and our skills, character, maturity , imaan at a certain level that feels strong/stable and reached our good healthy potential ourselves than putting that fully on our spouse and even though we live for the dreamy fantasy of marriage it is a reality filled with responsibilities too and we have to have some level of self fulfilment without depending on anybody except Allah of coursee. Also my name is Hafsa too!!!!
Thanks for your advice I love how you described how is importantly to see our worth marriage is not everything
Keep posting your content it’s really good 🩷🩷
Alhamdullilah - this video is a charity and a blessing. Thank you for your words, I appreciate you and I pray your life now and in the hereafter, because you are beautiful inside and out!
I’m not a Muslim woman lol but loved this ! Thanks
@@nombispeaks thanks for watching 🤗
Was in so much fomo but thnxxx a lot to you ...this rlly helped jazakallahu khair
جزاك الله خير🤍🤍🤍🤍🥹🫂
Unbelievable but true, all these just so much match with my personality.. and now i have known that i need to change these. I need no man to validate me. Please make more of such contents xoxo
SPITTING FACTSSSSSSSS
Everyone can do whatever they want in life. If you want to chase a man or a woman just to get married, you will most likely not be in a good relationship. Your partner can either be the half of youl or make you half of what you are. Be smart in your choises. If you want to be desperate, well go ahead. Ill pray for yall-
Thank you so much for the video please do a part 2!
Currently my parents are looking for a practicing muslim guy please pray for me whoever read my comment 😢
Asked god for a sign to reject him and your vid came up. Thank u 🤭
Thank you for this video! It came at the right time and you said the things which I never could get out of my mouth! Allah swt sent this video across for me alhamdulillah
I used to tell me the same thing you told in this video.... jajhakillahu khair sis❤
I just stumbled upon your channel, and I really appreciate the content!! I lowkey need you to post hijab tutorials of every single style you wear though the neck coverage is what I NEEEEED 😩
I agree with mostly everything you said! Obviously marriage ain't all roses and sunshine. However, I don't see how it's a bad thing for people with strict parents waiting to get married to feel free to do all the things they've always wanted.
How's that giving the man way too much power?? Surely, he wouldn't be as controlling..? I'm genuinely curious
You specifically mention "strict parents" then go on to say "If you want to do it you can" How? People with strict parents obviously don't get the freedom to do it.
It’s okay to chase the desires Allah put in you as long as it’s done with Allah in mind 💕
Nothing in your life will give you what a partner can, life is so much better with a close relationship of a significant other, you cant give yourself the love that a partner can give you and you will realize this soon or on your deathbed .
Haqq
Your laugh is so pretty Allahuma barek
Thank you so much for you video, I needed this so much❤️
Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm not good enough to be with anyone maybe I would only bring them down and they would deserve someone better and more righteous than me
I feel like my flaws would only hurt them in the process so it's better to just be on my own
I love this! can you do a video on how you can acc love yourself and understand yourself and get clser to deen? i feel like with work i am so busy that even tho i pray i am not clos to my deen i feel like i am lacking. How do you make time for and what kinds of things do you do (quran journaling? listening to podcasts etc?) and how do you ensure to keep it in your daily schedule? Also could you talk about how to know what you want from a marriage and how to know if you are even ready for it? Jazakallah sisss
Listen to AMAU: ustadh abdulrahman hassan (rights and responsibilities in marriage) he has a playlist from many years ago.
I wanted to marry at 17 but waited until I finished school at 18, since 16/18 is the law to have nikah in the UK. It was lockdown so I couldnt go to the masjid and look really. I married a 31 year old practicing deen, funny, highly intelligent and a well built man and I was 18. I was on single Muslim for 2 weeks max and was only wanted serious people. There was only 4 people in total but I got straight to the point, no time wasting. Especially when that was the first time I was looking to be in a relationship/wanting marriage. Alhamdulillah I listened to plenty of dating coaches like Matthew Boggs. BUUTTT, I cant stress enough how important knowing the rights and responsibilities are in Islam.
I was pregnant at 18, gave birth at home by myself with my husband next to me with no midwives coz I didn't want them interfering and I knew what I was doing, gave birth at 19. 6 months later got pregnant again. Gave birth at home again.
Now I'm 21 with a beautiful 2 year old boy and a 1 year old girl
Yes please
Jzk 💖needed this video sis! Everything you said was on point! Our worthwhile is not in being married or not and a man cannot fix all the problems we have but Allah can 💯
I think other than the natural desire to be married nowadays fitna is widespread and marriage is a protection.
Keep up the content sis, can you make a video on red flags and questions we should ask before marriage.
@@AB-wm6co yes I’ll definitely make one of those videos! Keep an eye out inshallah and thanks for watching
Agree with all Your Points whatever you said in the Video that Men and Women should Understand their Self Worth and not marry out of Desperation and Low Esteem and Trust In Allah that Each will be Blessed with a Good Spouse sooner or Later which will be an Added Bonus
Also with Due Respect the Point that you said about Statistics where only the Women is Miserable and Men are Happy is not True it could be the Other Way Around as well so we cant Generalize this
At the End it will all comes down to the Fact that Men and Women should be Confident in themselves and Have that Self Worth and Improve themselves at the Same Time and Fulfill each Others Rights and not Treat each Other as Doormats
I agree with you. That is why some comments below mentioned the content creator of this this video has some feminist sentiment in her views.
@deenforce1142 Thanks for your Opinion and Yes the Feminist Views may have been because her Video is mostly addressing Women which is Fine
In fact it helps us Men understand the Perspective of Women as well
@@AMAANJUWALEY I like to be very caution Muslims speaking like this without Islamic knowledge because if its not deen its coming from somewhere it should be. I was listening lectures of "real" learned Muslims about the dangers of delaying marriage. In our society delaying marriage for reasons of religious education, spirituality, career, etc. leads to haram path in most cases. Delaying marriage also in line with what is being taught by modern feminist who consider marriage institution to hinder women's development being a wife, mother, being subordinate to husband in financial capacity, and decision making, etc. Thus, for Muslim woman to tell others do delay marriage and focus ONLY on yourself is par for the course. We have the Quran and Sunnah and righteous predecessors, etc no need to follow a "modern women" narrative to define how Muslim women need to group religiously and spiritually. Also marriage age varies from person to person. One sister could be ready for marriage at 18yrs while another is 30+ yrs. Why are "suppressing" others from marriage who are ready? That is not our deen. I read comments of sisters here who may have marriage prospect but turned away having listened to this video! She might have dodged a bullet or actually got shot with zinah fitna having turned away from halal. Abu Tamiyyha, etc have already mentioned many sisters at the universities have lost their virginity. I was in school I saw Muslim women with non men before my conversion and that was 24 years ago!
Subhanallah i needed this
As a boy, not as a girl, I benefited greatly from this video. In the end, truly, we have no one but Allah Almighty. I also admired the lady in the video, and with all due respect, I invite you to have a little conversation with me. Perhaps our souls will find comfort in one another, and Allah might bring us together.
والله ما اريد الا الخير
Walaikum Salam. Beautiful and wise, and too good at summing up thoughts convey them in the form of words. Awesome message for girls in particular..
JazakaAllah Khair..
im christian but i love muslims i actually respect the modesty in women... so cool
Hey loved the video ❤
Another video idea:comparing yourself to others (looks,career,lifestyle etc)/jelaousy and envy
Finally someone said it!! People be looking at married life as if it's a disney movie, "happily ever after"
Rightfully earned another subscriber! and girl, you're so PRETTY!! Allahumma Barik!!
@@AbCd-ur2ks thank you sooo much 🤗🤗🤗
Thank you so much for your advice, it was very eye opening
Marriage is half your deen ❤❤❤❤
The problem is the girls (parents) and community. It’s tough for guys when meher market is reset after every Kita kitab. 50k meher car house 100k wedding?
@@gowasiem not everyone desires that
@@hafsahyoosufunfortunately, that’s what everyone says until contact negotiations start. It’s all talk “were buying a good man to we need this that etc. “ this is the case with Syrian communities in Chicago and West Bloomfield communities.
We were with the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were young and had no wealth. So Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." - Sahih al-Bukhari 5066
I read that fasting increases testosterone! I’m so confused
@@MM-em6ly in the start the desires become stronger but after some time they decrease
You have such a beautiful laugh allahuma barik mashallah 😭💖♥️
Very liberating rant❤❤😊
I remember someone saying to this woman who said she wants God to send her a husband. He replied back with he had two aunts who died alone waiting on God
That just means it wasn't in their rizq then. This dunya is a test anyway, so all wishes won't be fulfilled here but in Jannah.
Preachhhhh!!!!!!!
Ok i truly WISH someone would give me advice because my condition as a 22 year old women who has a very very strict father a.k.a couldn’t go out alone, no gym, no university, no hang out with friends and i’ve been living like this my whole life while i’ve always love to travel and walk and simple became one with nature. Now, I started to feel something toxic each time i yearn to get married i think about how i would finally free and able to get my degree or start a business and go out anywhere with my man. I hate that i don’t enjoy my single life, i hate how i keep dreaming about marriage all the time when i know damn well marriage has a tons of responsibilities that is probably more tough than what i’ve been facing today. So girls.. i need advice, wallahi i just don’t know what to do anymore.
My allah make it easier for you sis ❤
@ ameen 🥺
I mean it's your right to move out to a little apartment as a 22 year old woman but I understand if there's any emotional reasons.
What if what we want a celebrity because.... Alhamdullilah in this entire box, I found sis
Ive stopped and im so much happier
WE NEED THISSSS
2:21 You will know the answer if you reached your late thirties dear 😊
me married watching this cuz it came up as recommended
👁️👄👁️
@@sillycanadiangoose4865 hahahah
Well, I've never ever felt valued by anyone, not by friends, not even by family and sometimes not even at home.. so yes, I "crave" for marriage. I want to find that someone that will make me valuable in their eyes and make me their world as I will make them my world. It's not as easy as it sounds to "stop thinking about marriage" when you have felt worthless by the whole world. Even if you keep yourself busy with Quran, books, Salah etc you need a person beside you, we were created as social beings. You just want to find that person who makes you feel worthfull for them. Coming from a 26M
Maybe you should try therapy, you don’t want to end up hurt if you don’t have a healthy idea of relationships (not in a rude way) as you may go for the wrong type of person. It sounds like you have anxious attachment style and marriage won’t solve it. You’ll find healthy relationships one day insha’Allah
Waking up from this mindset maybe hurts you but it's true that it will relief your hurt later and you find yourself very calm and sabir cause at the end it's not the purpose of our life 🫶💗
Well parents and people need to stop also pressuring people to get married
Thank God I am single, no husband, no partner and no children here in
South Africa 🇿🇦
sad.
@kakashizet7496 nothing sad about me being single in South Africa🇿🇦
Best best best motivation ever
I love this so much
"that was be giving myself a bahdale" lolll love this vid!!
@ha_limabeanz haha thank you for watching🩷
yass respect yourself and raise your standards
MAKE A PART TWOOOOO
I’m in my 30’s and still a virgin…sometimes I just wonder what’s it like to kiss a man I’m attracted to. Sadly I’ll die a virgin I know it because I feel it’s too late
Why is it too late? Age 30 is not old. If Allah wills, you can get married within the next few months. Have faith in Allah and hope for the best from Him. I am 31 and unmarried but I am happy and I trust that Allah will take care of me regardless of whether I get married or not.
In general woman refuse a man faster than vice versa... because woman are having high standards. On the contrary a man just wants a wife who will love him. If you are a lady, just go to your local masjid and ask if there is a guy who wants to marry. Surely the imam knows the Djamaat and pick a guy who he sees often and getting you linked together with someone.. women really have a lot of choices to get in contact with a guy. Woman should stop expecting that the man should always take the first step towards her and that a man will fall from the sky asking her for marriage...
my sister married at age of 40's , just ask allah for it ask allah for every detail that you want in your futur husband it's not عيب , and pls stop making those worried ideas real muslim should not think like this .
take this as your sing and go ask allah just do qiyam al layl .
Alhamdullilah found sis
❤❤❤so good !!
If you are only chasing happiness you would make a terrible spouse.
Can u make a video on how to decide to wear hijab but you have fears about wearing it? Like hair lose, hair thinning etc. And what hair care to have when wearing hijab and what hijab materials can I wear that's best for all hair types and can I wear one without a cap? One that doesn't come off easily?
What hijab is this? I’ve been looking for this color forever
Whomever Allah blesses with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half.
Marriage is also an emphasized sunnah.
Let’s try to please Allah swt with the advice we give to the people. If we were to give a bad advice and people were to follow it, we will surely be held accountable for it.
My thoughts are very much similar with your's ❤
For reallll anyone can get a man in their life if they wanted to!
Okg I’ve been following you for years why did I just see you have a channel
❤❤ beautiful smile machaallah tabarkallah
Agree💯
❤
The only sane video on the internet today.
@@maheenzia8549 made my day fr
Most men of todays time do not know what or who they want. They’re just so lonely that they keep you around to fulfill that loneliness.
Its the direct opposite of what you are saying is true. Many are suffering from loneliness and being disenfranchisement due to the feminist propaganda. You dont see the direct attack on manhood in general in movies, music, tv shows, commercials,etc. Sheikh Uthman Ibn Farouq did a pod cast with Gabriel Romani about this issue, including feminization of men. Its real. Women even Muslim are being indoctrinated by the universities to far left politics against men. Its not strange a significant number of these women take psych coursers, and counseling, etc. There even behavioral health options for this so-called empowerment" by degrading men. Men are always at fault for relationships, subject of false misconduct allegations, etc. Men have not changed in values, women has being so called free and promiscuous, abandon family for career, marry in your 40s-50s, but used up your youth with "exploring the world" "having fun" etc. These actions lead us to no where except a bunch of memories of "good times" and never developed spiritually or intellectually. Finally. we have too many "ignorant Muslim women Influencers" who abandon Quran and Sunnah in favor of western and secular thought like Islam is incomplete. Dont just listen to any Muslim because she has on a hijab, computer, and a microphone.
i love u , it's so hard
شكرا على الفيديو الجميل ، لكن يُفضل عدم استخدام صور نساء مُتبرجات فذلك فقط سيئات جارية ، هدانا و هداك لله 🫰🏻
True say
Walaikumussalaam warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh
Is there any chance of not getting a husband ? I mean is there certain destination that every person shall have their own partners written
So how do we make dua, I know the verses in the Quran that are for it and we can say... I mean How to make dua that helps us understand what we want I don't know but you get the point?
Sounds like You haven't found love yet.
Girl for real ahahah❤
Adorable beautiful cutest prettiest sweetest innocent face gorgeous woman looking stunningly beautiful so pretty so sweet so cute so beautiful just like an innocent cute doll You are the bestst among all the best May God bless you with the best ❤❤😊😊😊❤❤❤🎉
Nothing authentic..its sounding so bookish and scripted…
Should I listen to you. I met 9890 men who were shape shifters. Not funny. Not funny
No disrespect sister but i can sense a lot of feminist vibe. Whatever floats your boat
@@faiqazim3118 I can confirm that you are incorrect, way off even 👍
I do too.
What’s wrong with her saying we should focus on our relationship with Allah? And to have self-worth? Just say you want women to settle for less😂it’s not feminism to say Muslim women devalue ourselves and don’t demand our rights that Allah gave us
@@JJ-qd9yl Yes. You do focus on your relationship with Allah but it’s not an excuse to avoid marriage. This is similar to behavior of nuns and priest. This a well know hadith stating the Prophet’s DIRECT DISAPPROVAL of this kind of worship:
Remember the Hadith about the three men who wanted to pray all night forever, fast through the year, and not marry forever. And the Prophets response!
reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 5063
Also
Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, rejected ‘Uthman ibn Maz’un from vowing celibacy, and had he given him permission, we would have castrated ourselves.
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5073, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1402
@@JJ-qd9yl Yes. You do focus on your relationship with Allah but it’s not an excuse to avoid marriage. This is similar to behavior of nuns and priest. This a well know hadith stating the Prophet’s DIRECT DISAPPROVAL of this kind of worship:
Remember the Hadith about the three men who wanted to pray all night forever, fast through the year, and not marry forever. And the Prophets response!
Source Bukhari 5063
Also
Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, rejected ‘Uthman ibn Maz’un from vowing celibacy, and had he given him permission, we would have castrated ourselves.
Source Bukhari 5073 and Muslim 1402
ukhti! is there a podcast?? if so WHERE 🥹🥹
@@tamualghali2751 yess! On Spotify it’s called “on the bright side”. I will be posting more on here for now tho!
I know it’s me.. I'm the problem. I hope I'm not the only one.😂
Just a little advice ukhti. If you can, please change your mice to a black one. Because it's very distracting. Your every topic is🔥
Still in the middle of conversation, I get distracted by your mice.🥲
I am in that phase of meeting someone who I think he would be a good spouse to me, but the fact that chasing marriage as you mentioned is getting over me, so I had to step back and rethink the whole thing Baraka Allahu fiki hafsa🤍🤍