I understand his perspective but I'm a firm believer that whoever God has for you dont allow anyone to discourage you or make you feel like you're being creepy, being insecure etc. At the end of the day be with who makes you happy. Do what works for you and your relationship. Maturity can come in all ages. Ive seen immaturity on both sides older and younger. It depends on the individual you're with at the end of the day. You can't help who you love at the end of the day. Don't allow anyone to minimize your happiness. When you genuinely love someone, you accept all of them flaws and all. Now Ima firm believer of weighing pros and cons be careful, and properly vet them. Dont ignore red flags. Ive seen successful age gap relationships flourish greatly. If there is a genuine connection, i say explore it, and keep God first, open communication, establish trust, respect, loyalty, etc the relationship will indeed workout!
Hi Tony… I absolutely love your videos. My guy is 60 and I’m 40 with adult children. Sometimes two people can meet and just click! A very good connection, conversation, active lifestyle, spirituality yoked and truly love one another. The negatives are automatically assumed because of the gap. Im thankful to God we’ve both taken care of ourselves but mentally I do love his maturity and I know he appreciates the same. It’s a lot to think about if you’re not genuine, healed and or immature. I love my guy🥰 just wanted to share a little positivity for some that may be more drawn to being with an older guy. 🤷🏽♀️
I feel the same. My husband is 63 and I am 45 and we have thus far had a great relationship. We have been together 13 years now, married for 3 and I really appreciate and love him more and more over time.
Your videos are super accurate. This made me think of Beyoncé stating she fell in love with Jay z because he taught her how to be a woman… which was very odd to me
I married my husband and moved to South Carolina from Florida. The first year was very difficult for our marriage because I did not like where we lived. This made me realize how much power the practical side of things has over a relationship. It can split a couple apart. Even women care about looks. That older man may be attractive now, but ten years or more age difference is going to change how you look at him. His skin is going to change, his ability to perform in the bedroom, and let's not forget when you end up having to change his diapers. Really think carefully about the non-romantic aspects of your relationship because it will do you in.
I TOTALLY AGREE!!! These are things most people do not think about! I know a younger man being attracted to me, is purely sexual! What else do we genuinely have in common?!?! Also, if he wants children, I can physically have them, but why at this stage would I want a child with someone who is my eldest Childs age?!?! That is so out of order! It’s just not for me! I don’t want my man to look back later in life and be like: I should’ve gotten a woman my age, and resent me, whether we stay looking good by exercise and eating right, our bodies still change!
I agree with Tony that a lot of people enter in to these types of relationships for bad reasons, but I really do not think it's the majority. I believe that some degree of "differences" can make a relationship better because it results in curiosity, empathy, and growth on both sides. Also, since women mature faster than men (in general), a lot of us are natually drawn towards older men. Maybe between 5-15 years older. Especially the women who were always told "you're mature for your age", we intellectually and emotionally are not on the same level as boys/men our age.
@J_Elle30 I'm in my late 30s. Lately for some reason every guy that I have met has been my age and honestly they are great guys. The problem for me is that the guys aren't about God. Most of them that I meet. Because I am serious about God sometimes that get in the way but they way they think outside of religion usually is fine. I've talked to guys from all ethnic backgrounds also so I'm not just talking about black American guys. Now sometimes our men seem like they are in some kind of arrested development.
My husband is only a year older than I am but he's an old soul so that's what worked for me. Men do mature late and I get the older man appeal but 10-15 yrs is too much especially when you're in your 20's.
No I do not like old men sorry can’t relate. I don’t want a man who is going to have ED and a bunch of health problems when I am still young. I have always been mature for my age but no I prefer someone the same age as me within less than 5 years age gap.
@@doughboygee6865Why are you dating someone that you feel insecure about what people might say regarding your relationship? That in itself says enough.
I wish men would take better care of their health. Im 58, and a lot of men my age dont exercise. Health is wealth. and if they do, they want younger. So I do mind dating 8 or 10 years younger
Im 52 & my wife is 40, with a 12-year age gap between us, we definitely stand as an exception to the rule. Celebrating two decades of marriage and 3 amazing sons.
I will say you’re so on point. I once was married to a man that was older than me by over 10 years; Ran into so many challenges. I look back at old pictures while married to him…I looked like an old lady. 😳I was constantly trying to refute what so many were thinking. I was the one blinded. I would never recommend it either. So on point! After that I said I would never, ever marry again. Thank God I’m now healed.
😂😂 you're right tho. I used the wheelchair service after a flight that landed in Miami because we didn't have much time to get through the airport. It was definitely a nice service! I made sure to tip!
TG speaking facts. I met someone is the past that lied about their age! Long story but I was a fool around those times and didnt run when I should have. Ladies and Gents 👂to the message.
I totally agree. I also don't believe in relationships where there's such a big age gap as 10 years. I think 5 years should be maximum. I always question it when there are such big gaps and there is some proof that some of the reasons that people so far apart get together are not good reasons. In some cases.
Agree....I dated 7yrs younger than me n he had mommie issues.....was lookn for stability....a straight up nightmare....was so jealouse n unfaithful tf 😮😮😮😮
@@beefaye6861 Yes. Mommy issues. Men like that are almost always insecure and unhealthily jealous. These types cheat and there usually is nothing a woman can do to help or cure them. They must seek healing, deliverance and growth and should be marked and avoided.
Y’all couldn’t be more wrong! Age gap ain’t got nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing with finding someone compatible with you. Y’all actually think a 40 yr old man dating a 30 yr old woman is a problem smh…
My EX husband is 16 years older than me. For some reason older men seek me out. I’ve been in this state of destitution because these men have crippled me to rely on them. I just turned 43 years old and I still feel like I’m 19 years old. I couldn’t work, couldn’t go to school, you don’t realize it, I DIDN’T realize it until a few years ago. My son, my caboose just turned 18 years old, and my oldest daughter is 23, and middle daughter 21. I don’t know what to do with my life. It took me 9 years to get a four year degree ❗️I wouldn’t want my daughters to be with a guy that’s no more than 3-8 years older than her and even 8 years is too much honestly.
Wow! You have to find your purpose and gain control of your life. It’s okay to be alone and focus on yourself. I went back to school and became a Psychologist, after being a slave to men, never again. I make over 6 figures, I’m healthier and happier.
Thank you for speaking on this toxic! Date and marry your age peers and stop robbing the cradle with younger people. Specifically the young person who wants financial security from the older person - that’s not love that’s transactional. And when the young person no longer has a fiscal needs - they will go get with - cheat with their peers True Love is not a business. transaction People heal your trauma - balance your ego - young people build a life with young people - the struggle is worth it - older people grow old with your peers - the peace is peaceful - revitalize together
Tony I totally agree with you. I know a couple in a relationship that's thirty years apart and he's older. He says sometimes he feels like he talking to a child.😂😂 I told him it's because he's talking to a child. He has children her age.
10 years should be the limit in terms of dating someone older or younger. And that goes for both sexes. Anything beyond 10 years is too big of an age gap.
That’s so true Tony I broke up with him this year after 9 years couldn’t do it anymore he was 12 years older than me!!! Too controlling, possessive and just didn’t let me be me I could never give my opinion on anything because in his eyes I’m a little girl!
I never understood how someone older could be SO delusional to think someone significantly younger than them want them genuinely 🙄. Like seriously you think this 25 year old want someone who is 40 years old smh 🙄😂
@@ashleyisrael2701ya… he still gets old man skin. Most men Don't age that well. The beer belly, smoking, and drinking, and he's still considered an old man. It definitely just the money
@@NoName-sp5dp old man skin don’t come until 55+, assuming we’re talking about black men, if it’s white men then yea 😂 but that’s why she can take care of him and have him eating healthy/working out so he will look younger for longer, but most women don’t know how to take care of they man
I agree with you Tony. Especially when it's a young woman and an older man. They tend to form a father/child relationship. A lot of older men tend to be controlling too and when the woman gets older and hits a certain age, they want to break free.
Great insights. I disagree with one thing though: there are lots of women out there who are 50 and 50+, who are fit, taking good care of themselves, and are running marathons.
I sure did appreciate this session / video. Some wonderful and well meaningful points. GOD BLESS YOU, and those who will respect and receive all that is said.
Tony, I agree with you 110%... I believe GOD created people to share the same generational group for a reason. I prefer to date men who are in the same age range as I am for all the reasons you discuss. 💯
Your right. I married at 20 to a man 11 yrs older, however he didn't teach me but I still grew. Now 16 yrs later he's upset I grew. I know now 20s isn't womanhood mentally! I made good money, however that doesn't define maturity or growth in life. I wanna bigger business and to retire early. I'm his second wife and he has children. I don't have kids, but now I want one. With someone with no kids. We are 2 completely different people. For that I think you should date in your own age group. I still have my youth, I haven't aged for some reason. I'm not ready to die and not live anymore.
Unlike other videos, this one gives reasons that are so slanted to support the topic. It’s not that the points may not be true, however, they are not limited to age differences. They are valuable considerations for same age couples. Even same age couples age differently (as far as physical traits) or end up with someone needing care (regarding physical challenges due to disease or injury). I’m not here to promote age gap relationships, however, many assumptions are inserted and the reasons given are not limited to age gap relationships.
Sometimes uncle Tony can be shallow. A lot of is about physical intelligence; “looks compatibility”, financial gain, sex. I don’t hear too much about emotional intelligence or spiritual.
However, you made some very Great points that totally resonates with me and I know for sure, I will never date someone younger (especially a 10+ age gap again).
These are some great points, but some of those points need context. Women who are not only younger, but aren’t self-actualized, and also depend on the man for financial support, will no doubt fall into this trap if they’re involved with an older man. In my case, at 45 yrs old, I’m already a self-actualized person and most people/men respect my mind/the way I think. They respect my business sense, my intelligence, my maturity etc. Even my brother who is 8 years older calls me for advice and the men I’ve worked with who are in their 50’s have done the same. So I don’t see anything wrong with dating a 55 yr old man (as an example) who’s values and my values align; Who shares the same vision for our future together.
My cousin married an older man and he kept buying her plastic thingy things because he just could not keep it up. He young women beware his thingy thing gets worn out but he still wants you and then after you put up with a soft you know what. Next you will be his caregiver.
U made good points and i hooe dome real mem snatch him up and mentor him. He's immature and insecure. Where was her mither to tell not to drive to meet that man. And to teach her abt men. Bless her. She's surrounded by silly young girls.
Sorry, I would rather be single than date/marry a guy 10 years older. I've tried it before,and we just could not relate. I'm sure it works for some people, just not for me.
My mom and dad are about 17 years apart. When they met, she was 19 years old and he was in his thirties. He was close in age to my grandmother (they were friends). She had to leave the country and thought he would be good for my mother because he was established with his own business and would take good care of her. Maye, that was a different time. It was ok then.
This "exception to the rule" rule is a bit of a catchall. Like you can never be wrong if you say the thing that disproves your rule "doesn't count." And if you look at all relationships as a whole, you begin to realize that the failure rate is extremely high. And the rule for that would be "All relationships are doomed to fail" while the successful relationships are the exception and dont count. Just a thought... But Im impartial to age gap dating because Im a man who has been dating an older woman a decade older than me. And its literally the best relationship Ive been in. I take care of the house, she takes care of the home. Ask for being intimate, lets just say she puts all my experiences with younger women to shame. But Im the exception so I guess our relationship doesnt count.....
Yes as always tony yu are so right on this younger man are users taking advantage of me because I’m older I was going with a much younger but I caught him with a much younger woman I cut him off immediately he was very demanding of me cooking and he truly show all the red flags ladies ladies DOnt fall for their lies and I’m at a point that I don’t let no one use me I’m had been mistreated take away slot from me I been through a lot bad and financially and emotionally I’m not here to help a man especially a younger that he will leave me date close to yuor age everything to y say it’s all true man nowadays are users manipulating yu to think they love yu when they don’t it’s not genuine love Don’t think my man it’s different he will pretend he loves yu to get yuor resources men always go for the younger ones always
This word of God is often seen a one huge book, but it is really a collection of books. When talking about the Bible we have to clear about the interpretation and the time period in which those things took place. They were marrying off the extremely in Bible times. Much of that will not fly today for some many reasons.
Well when his thingy thing dont dont inflate like it used too cause. he older he might need it tighter. Problem is this young woman going use him and probably want to cheat on him for one with a long inflation rate and nonsagging bongos😂
I would never at my age of 40 think of messing with a 19 year old let alone an age gap of ten years or more. It makes me cringe. I agree if it happens naturally then hey. But majority of that big of an age gap you have nothing in common.
My ex husband was 11 years older I was 20 when we made it official but I was 17 when he first expressed interest. I didn’t know at the time because I never checked his message and was dating my HS sweetheart, he told me once we were locked in and I was with child…anyway I wouldn’t recommend it.
Some of the things agree with Tony and some things don't it's lot older woman are keeping theirs self up and think this why younger man are attractive to older woman's you see this more now than ever because it's just sex with older woman it's that some very compatible with each other but this not every one choice but if can work for them who is to judge
I dated a guy 9 years older than me at 22 and it was not a good experience. He was condescending and controlling and it felt like he was always trying to be my father. Not all age gap relationships are bad but I honestly do not recommend it especially if you are under the age of 30. When you date older, you are moving through life at different speeds and the older person may always think he knows best. In that relationship I lost a sense of myself and decision making capabilities. I'm now relearning who I am without him. Dating guys closer to my age is so much better. I feel like we can learn from each other and it's more equal in terms of our abilities and thoughts. I really recommend younger women to date men who are closer in age.
I experienced some of this at 31-32, I was dating a man who was 9+ years older than me. It was a lot. And when I look back on it… I just smh! I’m glad you got out of that. 🙏🏽 ❤
I just went through this. I'm 48 and he's 61. Couldn't tell him nothing. All his ways were right even when he was dead wrong. I feel no matter the age, you can still learn and grow. He was stuck in his ways and admitted he don't see the need to change. I lost so much of myself as well. Never again
Being completely transparent here; I dated a man over twenty years older than me several years ago. My mind was clearly not in the right head space. That man was not attractive to me his skin was sagged his hands were old his walk everything was old. I was in my early 30s at the time and it was not fun. He was highly sexually active and it felt gross just wrong altogether because it was. I can say that if people are honest a younger woman is not genuinely attracted to an older man.
You made some really great points. But I thank God for my marriage of 14 years+. We just keep God 1st and it works for us, authentic, organic even with the huge age gap. God bless
Older men are grumpy, set in their ways, and can be insecure as well. . The only older man I dated was horrible. So mean spirited and controlling. I dated him 8 months too long. Don't miss a thing!!
This is the honest truth! I spoken to this man who was 12 years older than men. He asked was my father in my life. I said he raised me and still present. He then told me he prefer a woman that has not been groomed by their father!!! Shame on him for saying he is a GOD fearing man but want to groom a woman in their 40’s. This is the reason my father told me earlier on try to date within a certain age tier. Now I see why he said it 20 years ago.
Yep, I dated a guy who said he preferred dating women who didn't have a father. 👀 He was 24. The manipulators know exactly what they're doing. They want women who have no protection or guidance.
Women who grow up with, are groomed and loved by their good fathers is the biggest challenge to immature, predator-type men. A Good Father teaches his girls how men should talk to and treat them by demonstrating it when he speaks to her as well as to her mother. They hate it when you compare the good and respect of your father to their immature and disrespectful behaviour. Ladies, don't be taken in by how he looks, how much money he seems to have or what car he drives. Focus on how he speaks to you regardless of age difference. His respect for you is what carries you through for years.
Earlier this year I cut things off with a man that was 8 years older than me and still struggling to pay his bills. I found out that this was a common theme in his life. I’ll admit that I expect someone that’s almost 10 years than me to be stable, not rich. If not I believe there’s a lack of maturity/development somewhere. I want to feel like I can learn and look up to you.
Yea thats why me n my last girl broke up but we was around same age 🤣 so i feel you even tho dude was older. Relationships are kinda tuff when money fkd up frfr!
They're talking about the French president, who's 46, and his wife is 70. They met when he was 15 as she was one of his high school teachers. His parents sent him away the last year of high school as they felt the relationship was inappropriate. Anyway, they reconnected and married in 2007, and he was elected in 2012. He seems feminine to me. She had kids from a previous marriage, and he has none. I think he needed a wife for political reasons.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼...I'm glad you recognized it before it was too late...I know someone in this predicament and she has not realized this YET and doesn't want to see it😢...Anyway I wish women would stop being so "need to have a man for sake of having a man" and get themselves a REAL MAN and not a someone pretending to be a man.
Me and my husband are 15 years apart I'm 47 and he's 62 and it works... BUT I do tell our daughter ..when it's ur time, get with someone your OWN age or just a few years difference, no more than 3 -5 years. Although we work, alot of our arguments /disagreements would be different if we were the same age.
I would like a man to be at least 4-6 years older than me. I like to be taught and learn from men. It would be nice to know that my future husband has more life experience/wisdom than me, not for manipulative purposes but because they want to lead as a man of God.
Age doesn’t determine that. A man can be in his early twenties, wealthy and has better character/wisdom than an older man. It has to do with up bringing and his environment. If you want extra wisdom, then go speak with the elder men and women. Or mentor. God created us to grow together. Don’t allow your youth to be drained
@@annalove12320Thank you and I appreciate your advice. I have a mentor and I’m not dating currently. Just waiting on God’s best, this is my preference but if God says otherwise I’m content with that.
One of the best relationships I had was with someone 15 years younger than me. But we were at different places and maturity levels. Different levels of healing. But, man, we clicked, connected, just everything in sync.
@@Msterri4u he left me for someone else. She turned out to be just like the women he dated before me: controlling. I love him so much and I'm so sad that he went back to that pattern. I don't think he was used to someone accepting him as he is and encouraging him, without being down his neck all the time. I hope as he matures, he learns more about himself. Gets therapy. He had bouts of depression, and then thought this new exciting person made him happy and fulfilled. I'm sure that wore off. Btw, we said we'd always be friends, even if we didn't date forever. That was going great until one day he disappeared. Didn't answer my texts or calls. Didn't do anything on social media anymore, which I wasn't blocked from or unfriended. I didn't hear a peep for 10 months, when I actually ran into him. All he could say was he decided it was inappropriate for him to talk to me. Sure. He got that idea all by himself? After saying he'd always be there for me, even after we stopped dating. There were signs that things were weird with her before he cut me off. He used to have to "excuse himself," and leave just to talk to me on the phone. She also instituted a "no phones," rule when they were together. He stopped cooking and going to the gym, which were things he loved very much when he was with me (used to cook meals for me and my kids). In a way it's good we have no contact now, since there are lessons he needs to learn and healing he needs to do. If it's meant to be we'll find each other again, and hopefully both be better people.
I wish I could have known this 27 years ago TG 😢 16 year age difference 4 children together absolutely nothing in common I was very young 17 coming from abuse home and he was a 33 year old grown boy I need therapy I left him at the age of 43 but now thank God I woke up I am here I am happy thank God
It’s a privilege to be able to take the risk of dating men your age in your 20’s. When y’all are still living with your parents and in school or working. I’m 22…straight out of foster care paying for everything on my own…the type of men I date can make or break me. Your typical 22 year old boy who doesn’t know he is and thinks Instagram is real life and wants to sleep around indefinitely is a LIABILITY. Can’t offer nothing but weewee and heartbreak. Not to mention they are not financially stable either. So if I needed help with something or had an emergency what could they do other than watch me struggle? I have to date older men. Bc while they are still idiots …I can actually call them if there’s an emergency. It’s 100 percent a security thing for me.
22 is young ❤ you have so much ahead of you! Keep working on what TG calls Brain Body Brand! Love Keep working on you...the guy will come later! There are so many predators out here. The fact that your commenting on here says you are seeking wisdom wisely! Be blessed and safe out here! TG has alot to share and you are ahead of the game just being on here listening and putting into play! Be safe!
I disagree. It’s better to grow and build with a man your age, than to be with a older man who knows everything & wont let you learn life lessons or gain new life experiences! That’s how you mentally & emotionally grow & become wise. Your literally wasting your youth & your prime years on a man who is PAST his prime! Those old men have so much time to waste lol 😂 Meanwhile with each passing year, the younger lady is getting older & before you know it, she’ll be in her 30’s stressing about her fertility and her age. These old men only want you for your youth and beauty. They’ll take it with no problem! And when your relationship ends, your going to look back thinking “wow I really wasted my best years on this old dude!” Smh 🤦♀️ see my husband & I are the same age. We grew up together. He enjoyed my 20’s & I enjoyed his 20’s. We got to enjoy each others best years, when we were the most attractive. Where we had lots of energy! We experienced so many firsts together ☺️ We matured together. We raised our child together. We’re nearing our 40’s now and our 16 year marriage is the best thing that has ever happened to me ❤ I could never imagine doing this with an older man lol I want to grow old with my husband. Not have a husband who is already OLD lmfaoo!!!!
But yes for stability the easier route would be to marry/ date an older man. But that marriage/ relationship won’t last, because your marrying or dating for the wrong reasons! My husband & I built our wealth together. That was so rewarding for the both of us, to have built our relationship from the ground up 🥰 it’s so stable, peaceful and loving. I have NO regrets. Lol
I get approached by younger men on a semi-regular basis. I can never get past the conversation. There is a fluidity that comes with conversing with someone with similar or shared life experiences. Age is not jus a number. It's experience and wisdom (hopefully).
I married a man that I’m 11 yrs older and when I tell you he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready! Maturity doesn’t always come with age plus he’s a disturbing Mona’s boy. I had no dog in the fight, he never put me or our marriage first when it came to his family so finally I made up my mind to let it go and file for divorce. The age gap just didn’t work for me and it’s much more deeper but I know I can only say so much here.
Watching since at 52 years of age I’m approached by men of all ages,… but 80% of them are in their 30s. The reoccurring phrase that repeats in my brain,…”they don’t even have gray hair, how can this even work ? 😅”
My grandmother married a man 23 years older than her. They were married 30 years before he passed away, and they were very happy together. There are many other things that wreck a marriage. Since women usually outlive men, I think a woman being older is an even better scenario.
Sometimes younger men know that your older than them but they thought just a few years older than them and are surprised that you are older than they thought. Some of us older women haven't had nearly as many partners as some younger women. Yes you do have some very good points though. Funny I haven't been interested in a man too much younger than me. I look at 20s and 30s like a son.
That’s so true that many older women have not had many partners due to our upbringing. I’ve had less than 5 partners and men don’t believe me. It is so easy for me to abstain or be celibate for years in between breakups because I’m extremely picky and take pride in knowing that I have high standards
I have a 12 years age gap with my girlfriend I’m 33 and she’s 21. She act very mature for her age that I thought she was 25. Does it bothers me a little, but I tell you what, we’re very happy with each other. We love each other but again I hate that I felt in love with a 12 years age gap. But what can I do? I’m in love. 😞
I’ve seen a lot of YOUNG women with mileage lol. Each situation is different. If both people truly loves God first! It’s a relationship that can stand the rest of time. I’m a Nurse Practitioner and met a patient who was 10 years younger than his 90 year old wife, married over 50 years who took such good care of her, as if she was his age. He adored her and wanted the best care for her
My ex husband was 17 years older than me. He’s the most immature person I’ve ever met. Very irresponsible and stubborn. I said yes because I was very insecure and idolized marriage. Worst decision I ever made. We have 5 kids together.
This 34 yr old woman at my job who is married with 6 kids had a sexual relationship with a 19 yr old at my job. I was so disgusted with her. I myself am 39 years old and have a 19 yr old, so it made me literally upset as if it were my son. Cant understand. This white woman was attracted to this young, black, 19 year old handsome kid and couldn't keep her hands off him. It made me so mad and disgusted.
My husband is 15 years older than me and we've been married 8 yrs. Unfortunately, I've been waiting for him to grow up. I didnt get the traditional benefits of an older man. So ive been leading him for the last 12 years and he's starting to have health problems at 57 yrs old. Im finally trying to find the strength to choose myself or continue to take care of him until the end. I think we click the way we do because mentally he's in his second childhood. At 42, i believe I've already matured beyond him.
I gotta say yes honey you are correct move on.... my oldest daughter dad is 10years older+ but had a mentality of a child I dated him for almost 6 years almost 20 years ago, waste of my life and time, it's embarrassing to look at him now, he looks a mess, wisdom knowledge and understanding comes from the Lord, and that's something that my ex still doesn't have, to this day. I can't stand to look at him now..and now that I'm older I have been attracting a lot of younger men it's flattering, but though because I don't look my age anyways, God said he'd persevere us.🙌
I will be 48 next month. People are shocked when I say my age. As time goes on the sex will stop and they become old and orney. I thought it was a myth but my libido is thru the roof 😅
I've never commented on a vid yet. This is my first time. But honestly, dating outside of my age range changed my life! I tried dating men within 1 to 5 years of my age. Didn't work. Men take time to mature. Plus, I was already a single, divorced mother of 3. So, my prayer was for a mature, cultured, wise man to enter my life. Courtship was short. We are happily married. The biggest thing I had to establish was respect. I had to ensure that no man felt that I wouldn't walk away or that I NEEDED or depended on him. Then, I also had to study femininity. Single mamas can sometimes be more masculine or "alpha". I had to relearn how to be soft, feminine and how to be a good "co-pilot". I am 13 years younger than my hubby. I find him to be EXTREMELY handsome and attractive. We have a very similar mindset and our goals align. Combined we have 4 kids and possibly one is on the way. We will probably have more kids. But age gaps CAN definitely work. Some people grow together. Other people prefer to find someone who has their crap together. The guys in my age range are either taken or not ready. Most haven't achieced real life goals or have big assets yet. I grew up fast as a single mama. I needed someone older to match my maturity. My hubby is energetic, romantic and I can submit to him because he actually has something to submit to. He has a vision. We have joint and separate assets and a beautiful life together. I still wake in disbelief that I am living this life. Look around on UA-cam. Age gap creates balance sometimes. My hubby told me he was still going to lounges and bopping around in his 30s. I met him in his last 40s and he is a great partner
Someone i was dating for three weeks, 56 yrs old, I'm 49 his girl friend who's 38 came back and wanted to give there relationship another try and he went for her, saying they had fire.
I understand his perspective but I'm a firm believer that whoever God has for you dont allow anyone to discourage you or make you feel like you're being creepy, being insecure etc. At the end of the day be with who makes you happy. Do what works for you and your relationship. Maturity can come in all ages. Ive seen immaturity on both sides older and younger. It depends on the individual you're with at the end of the day. You can't help who you love at the end of the day. Don't allow anyone to minimize your happiness. When you genuinely love someone, you accept all of them flaws and all. Now Ima firm believer of weighing pros and cons be careful, and properly vet them. Dont ignore red flags. Ive seen successful age gap relationships flourish greatly. If there is a genuine connection, i say explore it, and keep God first, open communication, establish trust, respect, loyalty, etc the relationship will indeed workout!
Tony’s telling the truth. A lot of older men with younger women do try to “re-raise” the woman and can be very controlling in nature.
Hi Tony… I absolutely love your videos. My guy is 60 and I’m 40 with adult children. Sometimes two people can meet and just click! A very good connection, conversation, active lifestyle, spirituality yoked and truly love one another. The negatives are automatically assumed because of the gap. Im thankful to God we’ve both taken care of ourselves but mentally I do love his maturity and I know he appreciates the same. It’s a lot to think about if you’re not genuine, healed and or immature. I love my guy🥰 just wanted to share a little positivity for some that may be more drawn to being with an older guy. 🤷🏽♀️
I feel the same. My husband is 63 and I am 45 and we have thus far had a great relationship. We have been together 13 years now, married for 3 and I really appreciate and love him more and more over time.
I m 28 and my husband is 48. We are happily married I m black n he is Chinese. He is so amazing. Three kids
I love all of this! So happy for you all 💗
@@anndiasmbolongwe8059yooooo thats a new one!!!
@@anndiasmbolongwe8059Yikes why are 20 something’s out here settling for 50 year old men? Y’all have zero standards
Your videos are super accurate. This made me think of Beyoncé stating she fell in love with Jay z because he taught her how to be a woman… which was very odd to me
That was an arranged marriage though. Same with the Clintons. They're put together to corrupt the people who listen to their music.
Why?
“You need a woman who can recognize the signs of stroke” Sinbad
Lmao 😂facts tho
😂
"Son of a Preacherman"...hilarious. Sinbad is from my hometown 😅
I married my husband and moved to South Carolina from Florida. The first year was very difficult for our marriage because I did not like where we lived. This made me realize how much power the practical side of things has over a relationship. It can split a couple apart. Even women care about looks. That older man may be attractive now, but ten years or more age difference is going to change how you look at him. His skin is going to change, his ability to perform in the bedroom, and let's not forget when you end up having to change his diapers. Really think carefully about the non-romantic aspects of your relationship because it will do you in.
I TOTALLY AGREE!!! These are things most people do not think about! I know a younger man being attracted to me, is purely sexual! What else do we genuinely have in common?!?! Also, if he wants children, I can physically have them, but why at this stage would I want a child with someone who is my eldest Childs age?!?! That is so out of order! It’s just not for me! I don’t want my man to look back later in life and be like: I should’ve gotten a woman my age, and resent me, whether we stay looking good by exercise and eating right, our bodies still change!
I was in a 11 yr age gap relationship and he was abusive. Never again.
I agree with Tony that a lot of people enter in to these types of relationships for bad reasons, but I really do not think it's the majority. I believe that some degree of "differences" can make a relationship better because it results in curiosity, empathy, and growth on both sides. Also, since women mature faster than men (in general), a lot of us are natually drawn towards older men. Maybe between 5-15 years older. Especially the women who were always told "you're mature for your age", we intellectually and emotionally are not on the same level as boys/men our age.
You said this perfectly
@J_Elle30 I'm in my late 30s. Lately for some reason every guy that I have met has been my age and honestly they are great guys. The problem for me is that the guys aren't about God. Most of them that I meet. Because I am serious about God sometimes that get in the way but they way they think outside of religion usually is fine. I've talked to guys from all ethnic backgrounds also so I'm not just talking about black American guys. Now sometimes our men seem like they are in some kind of arrested development.
My husband is only a year older than I am but he's an old soul so that's what worked for me. Men do mature late and I get the older man appeal but 10-15 yrs is too much especially when you're in your 20's.
No I do not like old men sorry can’t relate. I don’t want a man who is going to have ED and a bunch of health problems when I am still young. I have always been mature for my age but no I prefer someone the same age as me within less than 5 years age gap.
I’m 34 my girl is 27. Taking her to meet my parents for the holidays
Im 32 my girl is 21 and i probably will never take her to meet anybody 😭 i dont need nobody questioning NOTHING
@@doughboygee6865Why are you dating someone that you feel insecure about what people might say regarding your relationship? That in itself says enough.
That’s a good age difference 😊
I wish men would take better care of their health. Im 58, and a lot of men my age dont exercise. Health is wealth. and if they do, they want younger. So I do mind dating 8 or 10 years younger
Im 52 & my wife is 40, with a 12-year age gap between us, we definitely stand as an exception to the rule. Celebrating two decades of marriage and 3 amazing sons.
Congratulations 👏
"HE THAT I PUT TOGETHER LET NOT MAN PUT ASUNDER" LET GOD DO IT PERIOD! PEACE!❤
The average college educated 23 y.o. woman in 2023 has more bodies than the average 53 y.o. woman in 2023 so yeah digest that
is that based on statistical data?
please let's not pretend like freaknik wasn't a thing when those 53 year old was in college
Yeah these young girls are wild and lost that doesn’t shock me
I’m an exception to the rule with the marathon running after 50! Whoot, Whoot! Yay, me! Ok, I’ll go sit down now. 😊
I will say you’re so on point. I once was married to a man that was older than me by over 10 years; Ran into so many challenges. I look back at old pictures while married to him…I looked like an old lady. 😳I was constantly trying to refute what so many were thinking. I was the one blinded. I would never recommend it either. So on point! After that I said I would never, ever marry again. Thank God I’m now healed.
You can absolutely travel the world in a wheelchair
😂😂 you're right tho. I used the wheelchair service after a flight that landed in Miami because we didn't have much time to get through the airport. It was definitely a nice service! I made sure to tip!
"They don't have my reach..." I couldn't have said it better. I appreciate your advice and research. Thank you!
TG speaking facts. I met someone is the past that lied about their age! Long story but I was a fool around those times and didnt run when I should have. Ladies and Gents 👂to the message.
I have a client who just gave birth to her first child at 61. Completely naturally. If you can believe it! 😳
Uhhh. yeah I don't believe it. I certainly would not want to be her.
Tell me how she did it please.
@doc2b2014 am curious, how did she do it? Cuz she would have gone through menopause already.
@@juneelle370Wow, thanks for sharing. I'm going to look into this in more detail for statistics.
Yes, this happens. It's a small percentage but some women in their 60's can actually become pregnant naturally. It's crazy though.
I totally agree. I also don't believe in relationships where there's such a big age gap as 10 years.
I think 5 years should be maximum.
I always question it when there are such big gaps and there is some proof that some of the reasons that people so far apart get together are not good reasons. In some cases.
Agree....I dated 7yrs younger than me n he had mommie issues.....was lookn for stability....a straight up nightmare....was so jealouse n unfaithful tf 😮😮😮😮
@@beefaye6861
Yes. Mommy issues.
Men like that are almost always insecure and unhealthily jealous. These types cheat and there usually is nothing a woman can do to help or cure them.
They must seek healing, deliverance and growth and should be marked and avoided.
I agree 5 years maximum perfect 👍.
Y’all couldn’t be more wrong! Age gap ain’t got nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing with finding someone compatible with you. Y’all actually think a 40 yr old man dating a 30 yr old woman is a problem smh…
@@bruceleroy2335 smh 🤦🏾♀️ on you find someone age-appropriate periodit . 🙅🏽♀️
My EX husband is 16 years older than me. For some reason older men seek me out. I’ve been in this state of destitution because these men have crippled me to rely on them. I just turned 43 years old and I still feel like I’m 19 years old. I couldn’t work, couldn’t go to school, you don’t realize it, I DIDN’T realize it until a few years ago. My son, my caboose just turned 18 years old, and my oldest daughter is 23, and middle daughter 21. I don’t know what to do with my life. It took me 9 years to get a four year degree ❗️I wouldn’t want my daughters to be with a guy that’s no more than 3-8 years older than her and even 8 years is too much honestly.
Wow! You have to find your purpose and gain control of your life. It’s okay to be alone and focus on yourself. I went back to school and became a Psychologist, after being a slave to men, never again. I make over 6 figures, I’m healthier and happier.
Thank you for speaking on this toxic! Date and marry your age peers and stop robbing the cradle with younger people. Specifically the young person who wants financial security from the older person - that’s not love that’s transactional. And when the young person no longer has a fiscal needs - they will go get with - cheat with their peers
True Love is not a business. transaction
People heal your trauma - balance your ego - young people build a life with young people - the struggle is worth it
- older people grow old with your peers - the peace is peaceful - revitalize together
Amen sister 💯👏🏾 I just got this revelation for my life.
Tony I totally agree with you. I know a couple in a relationship that's thirty years apart and he's older. He says sometimes he feels like he talking to a child.😂😂 I told him it's because he's talking to a child. He has children her age.
10 years should be the limit in terms of dating someone older or younger. And that goes for both sexes. Anything beyond 10 years is too big of an age gap.
@@punch1420 I used to go by that too, but I believe 10 years max is is best regardless. No matter the generation.
In ur opinion.
@@goddesstreasure Yes, that’s why I said “ I believe”. It’s called an opinion. Good job on your vocabulary.
Everything that your saying is 100% true I’m 25 and we have a 10 year age difference. And I feel 10 years tired.
That’s so true Tony I broke up with him this year after 9 years couldn’t do it anymore he was 12 years older than me!!! Too controlling, possessive and just didn’t let me be me I could never give my opinion on anything because in his eyes I’m a little girl!
I never understood how someone older could be SO delusional to think someone significantly younger than them want them genuinely 🙄. Like seriously you think this 25 year old want someone who is 40 years old smh 🙄😂
I mean she could genuinely like him if he fine enough and got money,
Personally, I would rather marry a 40 year old than a man my own age because most men my age act like teenagers.
@@ashleyisrael2701ya… he still gets old man skin. Most men Don't age that well. The beer belly, smoking, and drinking, and he's still considered an old man. It definitely just the money
@@clementineslaughter6904lol so do men in their 40s especially if they're dating younger than 10 years
@@NoName-sp5dp old man skin don’t come until 55+, assuming we’re talking about black men, if it’s white men then yea 😂 but that’s why she can take care of him and have him eating healthy/working out so he will look younger for longer, but most women don’t know how to take care of they man
That one guy in France is their president, married to his former high school teacher. She's 24 years older
......'older fool'🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Say it TONY. We are not young anymore. There are exceptions but mostly, we look older, less attractive.
Girl I know I’m old, but these men think they age backwards.
I agree with you Tony. Especially when it's a young woman and an older man. They tend to form a father/child relationship. A lot of older men tend to be controlling too and when the woman gets older and hits a certain age, they want to break free.
Great insights. I disagree with one thing though: there are lots of women out there who are 50 and 50+, who are fit, taking good care of themselves, and are running marathons.
I believe every thing said here, older men always approach me thinking I'm younger... actually card me when I say I'm 40...
Girl I’m 30 men think I’m 20
Tony you are the best thankyou sooo much you have no idea how much I appreciate you for this❤God bless you and your family❤️
I Couldn’t have said it better, darlin. ✅💯🔥🥰
I sure did appreciate this session / video.
Some wonderful and well meaningful points.
GOD BLESS YOU, and those who will respect and receive all that is said.
This is so on point.
Real talk with the age differences
Wheeling around together is the key 🔑 this was good!😂❤🙏🏾💝
I definitely dont want to be a power couple with anyone...
That means I would have to work, no thank you...
Exactly. Not gonna have me working to the bone just to impress people who aren't even happy themselves.
I just need healing for my soul...please pray for me. 😔💔
I like this video and how you broke the topic down.
Tony, I agree with you 110%... I believe GOD created people to share the same generational group for a reason. I prefer to date men who are in the same age range as I am for all the reasons you discuss. 💯
Your right. I married at 20 to a man 11 yrs older, however he didn't teach me but I still grew. Now 16 yrs later he's upset I grew. I know now 20s isn't womanhood mentally! I made good money, however that doesn't define maturity or growth in life. I wanna bigger business and to retire early. I'm his second wife and he has children. I don't have kids, but now I want one. With someone with no kids. We are 2 completely different people. For that I think you should date in your own age group. I still have my youth, I haven't aged for some reason. I'm not ready to die and not live anymore.
Unlike other videos, this one gives reasons that are so slanted to support the topic. It’s not that the points may not be true, however, they are not limited to age differences. They are valuable considerations for same age couples.
Even same age couples age differently (as far as physical traits) or end up with someone needing care (regarding physical challenges due to disease or injury).
I’m not here to promote age gap relationships, however, many assumptions are inserted and the reasons given are not limited to age gap relationships.
Sometimes uncle Tony can be shallow. A lot of is about physical intelligence; “looks compatibility”, financial gain, sex. I don’t hear too much about emotional intelligence or spiritual.
However, you made some very Great points that totally resonates with me and I know for sure, I will never date someone younger (especially a 10+ age gap again).
Thank you for talking about this. me and my boyfriend are 13 years apart hes older. my maternal grrandparents were ten years apart.
Its true TG.....all day long....I no ppl that have younger men n they gettn drug thru the mud....smh😮
@@J_Elle30 Probably....n that ain't everything
10 YEARS IS A BIG GAP && I WOULDN'T EVER BE WITH A MAN 10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME.
To view all courses go on TONYGASKINSACADEMY.COM 📑🎓 📎💻
These are some great points, but some of those points need context. Women who are not only younger, but aren’t self-actualized, and also depend on the man for financial support, will no doubt fall into this trap if they’re involved with an older man. In my case, at 45 yrs old, I’m already a self-actualized person and most people/men respect my mind/the way I think. They respect my business sense, my intelligence, my maturity etc. Even my brother who is 8 years older calls me for advice and the men I’ve worked with who are in their 50’s have done the same.
So I don’t see anything wrong with dating a 55 yr old man (as an example) who’s values and my values align; Who shares the same vision for our future together.
My cousin married an older man and he kept buying her plastic thingy things because he just could not keep it up. He young women beware his thingy thing gets worn out but he still wants you and then after you put up with a soft you know what. Next you will be his caregiver.
😭😭😭 he kept buyin plastic thing like dam 1 wasnt enough? 🤣😭😭😭
😄 😄
@charity can come explain what the plastic thingy is? I am scared 😢😂
U made good points and i hooe dome real mem snatch him up and mentor him. He's immature and insecure. Where was her mither to tell not to drive to meet that man. And to teach her abt men. Bless her. She's surrounded by silly young girls.
So, from about 31:00 - 33:00, you roastin' but, it is hilarious 😂. I just have to laugh at myself.
Sorry, I would rather be single than date/marry a guy 10 years older. I've tried it before,and we just could not relate.
I'm sure it works for some people, just not for me.
Absolutely! The same here
Yes likewise
My mom and dad are about 17 years apart. When they met, she was 19 years old and he was in his thirties. He was close in age to my grandmother (they were friends). She had to leave the country and thought he would be good for my mother because he was established with his own business and would take good care of her. Maye, that was a different time. It was ok then.
This "exception to the rule" rule is a bit of a catchall. Like you can never be wrong if you say the thing that disproves your rule "doesn't count."
And if you look at all relationships as a whole, you begin to realize that the failure rate is extremely high. And the rule for that would be "All relationships are doomed to fail" while the successful relationships are the exception and dont count. Just a thought...
But Im impartial to age gap dating because Im a man who has been dating an older woman a decade older than me. And its literally the best relationship Ive been in. I take care of the house, she takes care of the home.
Ask for being intimate, lets just say she puts all my experiences with younger women to shame. But Im the exception so I guess our relationship doesnt count.....
Yes as always tony yu are so right on this younger man are users taking advantage of me because I’m older I was going with a much younger but I caught him with a much younger woman I cut him off immediately he was very demanding of me cooking and he truly show all the red flags ladies ladies DOnt fall for their lies and I’m at a point that I don’t let no one use me I’m had been mistreated take away slot from me I been through a lot bad and financially and emotionally I’m not here to help a man especially a younger that he will leave me date close to yuor age everything to y say it’s all true man nowadays are users manipulating yu to think they love yu when they don’t it’s not genuine love Don’t think my man it’s different he will pretend he loves yu to get yuor resources men always go for the younger ones always
6 year is my Max
Biblicly the age gap has no bearing on weather or not the relationship will be of good quality or not. Too many examples of 10+ year age gap
This word of God is often seen a one huge book, but it is really a collection of books. When talking about the Bible we have to clear about the interpretation and the time period in which those things took place. They were marrying off the extremely in Bible times. Much of that will not fly today for some many reasons.
@@KFontLab You said mouth full my friend about the Bible. I agree with you.
35:24 Talk Tony --🙌
Well when his thingy thing dont dont inflate like it used too cause. he older he might need it tighter. Problem is this young woman going use him and probably want to cheat on him for one with a long inflation rate and nonsagging bongos😂
I would never at my age of 40 think of messing with a 19 year old let alone an age gap of ten years or more. It makes me cringe. I agree if it happens naturally then hey. But majority of that big of an age gap you have nothing in common.
My ex husband was 11 years older I was 20 when we made it official but I was 17 when he first expressed interest. I didn’t know at the time because I never checked his message and was dating my HS sweetheart, he told me once we were locked in and I was with child…anyway I wouldn’t recommend it.
😂 droops, and sags
Lol and he telling the truth.
That hard is that's why you setting in car / truck age don,t make different /
So True!!
This is why you all shouldn't listen to UA-camrs and THEIR opinions.... !🙄!! Boy, they feel like their views on things are set in stone!!!!
Some great nuggets. Like everything it’s all a risk. lol
Some of the things agree with Tony and some things don't it's lot older woman are keeping theirs self up and think this why younger man are attractive to older woman's you see this more now than ever because it's just sex with older woman it's that some very compatible with each other but this not every one choice but if can work for them who is to judge
I see the comparison & competition comments with the older and younger. Except where you are and be happy in it. Sheesh
Punta-Kenta😂
I dated a guy 9 years older than me at 22 and it was not a good experience. He was condescending and controlling and it felt like he was always trying to be my father. Not all age gap relationships are bad but I honestly do not recommend it especially if you are under the age of 30. When you date older, you are moving through life at different speeds and the older person may always think he knows best. In that relationship I lost a sense of myself and decision making capabilities. I'm now relearning who I am without him. Dating guys closer to my age is so much better. I feel like we can learn from each other and it's more equal in terms of our abilities and thoughts. I really recommend younger women to date men who are closer in age.
I experienced some of this at 31-32, I was dating a man who was 9+ years older than me. It was a lot. And when I look back on it… I just smh! I’m glad you got out of that. 🙏🏽 ❤
I just went through this. I'm 48 and he's 61. Couldn't tell him nothing. All his ways were right even when he was dead wrong. I feel no matter the age, you can still learn and grow. He was stuck in his ways and admitted he don't see the need to change. I lost so much of myself as well. Never again
Being completely transparent here; I dated a man over twenty years older than me several years ago. My mind was clearly not in the right head space. That man was not attractive to me his skin was sagged his hands were old his walk everything was old. I was in my early 30s at the time and it was not fun. He was highly sexually active and it felt gross just wrong altogether because it was. I can say that if people are honest a younger woman is not genuinely attracted to an older man.
Skin feels loose and thin lol
@@stephaniej.stanley2141 Seriously it did
Damn you’d made it sound horrible 😂🥺
Same. I dated a guy 10 plus years older than me because he was established and all he wanted to do was lay in bed all day long.😢
My sister married an older man, and she told me not to do it.
You made some really great points. But I thank God for my marriage of 14 years+. We just keep God 1st and it works for us, authentic, organic even with the huge age gap. God bless
God bless your union! I'm trusting God to bless me with a husband soon. Kingdom marriages are different and thats what i'm focused on.
@VirtuoslyWright what is the age gap difference, if you don’t mind me asking. I believe God will bless me with a younger husband too
You’re the exception to the rule that he speaks of
God bless.Amen!
I'm very happy to hear that. Do you mind giving a couple of details about the dynamic? Who's older and by how much? Thank you in advance.
Older men are grumpy, set in their ways, and can be insecure as well. . The only older man I dated was horrible. So mean spirited and controlling. I dated him 8 months too long. Don't miss a thing!!
This is the honest truth! I spoken to this man who was 12 years older than men. He asked was my father in my life. I said he raised me and still present. He then told me he prefer a woman that has not been groomed by their father!!! Shame on him for saying he is a GOD fearing man but want to groom a woman in their 40’s. This is the reason my father told me earlier on try to date within a certain age tier. Now I see why he said it 20 years ago.
😂
Smh... He was looking for someone to control who don't know any better
Yep, I dated a guy who said he preferred dating women who didn't have a father. 👀 He was 24. The manipulators know exactly what they're doing. They want women who have no protection or guidance.
@@MyriadLove so young and already so corrupt! 😬
Women who grow up with, are groomed and loved by their good fathers is the biggest challenge to immature, predator-type men. A Good Father teaches his girls how men should talk to and treat them by demonstrating it when he speaks to her as well as to her mother. They hate it when you compare the good and respect of your father to their immature and disrespectful behaviour.
Ladies, don't be taken in by how he looks, how much money he seems to have or what car he drives. Focus on how he speaks to you regardless of age difference. His respect for you is what carries you through for years.
Earlier this year I cut things off with a man that was 8 years older than me and still struggling to pay his bills. I found out that this was a common theme in his life.
I’ll admit that I expect someone that’s almost 10 years than me to be stable, not rich. If not I believe there’s a lack of maturity/development somewhere. I want to feel like I can learn and look up to you.
Yea thats why me n my last girl broke up but we was around same age 🤣 so i feel you even tho dude was older. Relationships are kinda tuff when money fkd up frfr!
@@doughboygee6865 exactly! I understand everybody has hard times but when it’s a constant thing there’s a character flaw there.
They're talking about the French president, who's 46, and his wife is 70. They met when he was 15 as she was one of his high school teachers. His parents sent him away the last year of high school as they felt the relationship was inappropriate. Anyway, they reconnected and married in 2007, and he was elected in 2012. He seems feminine to me. She had kids from a previous marriage, and he has none. I think he needed a wife for political reasons.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼...I'm glad you recognized it before it was too late...I know someone in this predicament and she has not realized this YET and doesn't want to see it😢...Anyway I wish women would stop being so "need to have a man for sake of having a man" and get themselves a REAL MAN and not a someone pretending to be a man.
Me and my husband are 15 years apart I'm 47 and he's 62 and it works... BUT I do tell our daughter ..when it's ur time, get with someone your OWN age or just a few years difference, no more than 3 -5 years. Although we work, alot of our arguments /disagreements would be different if we were the same age.
I would like a man to be at least 4-6 years older than me. I like to be taught and learn from men. It would be nice to know that my future husband has more life experience/wisdom than me, not for manipulative purposes but because they want to lead as a man of God.
Age doesn’t determine that. A man can be in his early twenties, wealthy and has better character/wisdom than an older man. It has to do with up bringing and his environment. If you want extra wisdom, then go speak with the elder men and women. Or mentor. God created us to grow together. Don’t allow your youth to be drained
@@annalove12320 Good point!
@@annalove12320Thank you and I appreciate your advice. I have a mentor and I’m not dating currently. Just waiting on God’s best, this is my preference but if God says otherwise I’m content with that.
One of the best relationships I had was with someone 15 years younger than me. But we were at different places and maturity levels. Different levels of healing. But, man, we clicked, connected, just everything in sync.
What happened with that relationship since you say it was one of the best?
@@Msterri4u he left me for someone else. She turned out to be just like the women he dated before me: controlling. I love him so much and I'm so sad that he went back to that pattern. I don't think he was used to someone accepting him as he is and encouraging him, without being down his neck all the time. I hope as he matures, he learns more about himself. Gets therapy. He had bouts of depression, and then thought this new exciting person made him happy and fulfilled. I'm sure that wore off. Btw, we said we'd always be friends, even if we didn't date forever. That was going great until one day he disappeared. Didn't answer my texts or calls. Didn't do anything on social media anymore, which I wasn't blocked from or unfriended. I didn't hear a peep for 10 months, when I actually ran into him. All he could say was he decided it was inappropriate for him to talk to me. Sure. He got that idea all by himself? After saying he'd always be there for me, even after we stopped dating. There were signs that things were weird with her before he cut me off. He used to have to "excuse himself," and leave just to talk to me on the phone. She also instituted a "no phones," rule when they were together. He stopped cooking and going to the gym, which were things he loved very much when he was with me (used to cook meals for me and my kids). In a way it's good we have no contact now, since there are lessons he needs to learn and healing he needs to do. If it's meant to be we'll find each other again, and hopefully both be better people.
I wish I could have known this 27 years ago TG 😢 16 year age difference 4 children together absolutely nothing in common I was very young 17 coming from abuse home and he was a 33 year old grown boy I need therapy I left him at the age of 43 but now thank God I woke up I am here I am happy thank God
Good for you. Spread the message
It’s a privilege to be able to take the risk of dating men your age in your 20’s. When y’all are still living with your parents and in school or working. I’m 22…straight out of foster care paying for everything on my own…the type of men I date can make or break me. Your typical 22 year old boy who doesn’t know he is and thinks Instagram is real life and wants to sleep around indefinitely is a LIABILITY. Can’t offer nothing but weewee and heartbreak. Not to mention they are not financially stable either. So if I needed help with something or had an emergency what could they do other than watch me struggle? I have to date older men. Bc while they are still idiots …I can actually call them if there’s an emergency. It’s 100 percent a security thing for me.
You’re not wrong ❤ take care of yourself
22 is young ❤ you have so much ahead of you! Keep working on what TG calls Brain Body Brand! Love Keep working on you...the guy will come later! There are so many predators out here. The fact that your commenting on here says you are seeking wisdom wisely! Be blessed and safe out here! TG has alot to share and you are ahead of the game just being on here listening and putting into play! Be safe!
I disagree. It’s better to grow and build with a man your age, than to be with a older man who knows everything & wont let you learn life lessons or gain new life experiences! That’s how you mentally & emotionally grow & become wise. Your literally wasting your youth & your prime years on a man who is PAST his prime! Those old men have so much time to waste lol 😂 Meanwhile with each passing year, the younger lady is getting older & before you know it, she’ll be in her 30’s stressing about her fertility and her age. These old men only want you for your youth and beauty. They’ll take it with no problem! And when your relationship ends, your going to look back thinking “wow I really wasted my best years on this old dude!” Smh 🤦♀️ see my husband & I are the same age. We grew up together. He enjoyed my 20’s & I enjoyed his 20’s. We got to enjoy each others best years, when we were the most attractive. Where we had lots of energy! We experienced so many firsts together ☺️ We matured together. We raised our child together. We’re nearing our 40’s now and our 16 year marriage is the best thing that has ever happened to me ❤ I could never imagine doing this with an older man lol I want to grow old with my husband. Not have a husband who is already OLD lmfaoo!!!!
But yes for stability the easier route would be to marry/ date an older man. But that marriage/ relationship won’t last, because your marrying or dating for the wrong reasons! My husband & I built our wealth together. That was so rewarding for the both of us, to have built our relationship from the ground up 🥰 it’s so stable, peaceful and loving. I have NO regrets. Lol
I feel the same. I also was in foster care. I just turned 25 and get nervous about if I'll ever get married
I get approached by younger men on a semi-regular basis. I can never get past the conversation. There is a fluidity that comes with conversing with someone with similar or shared life experiences. Age is not jus a number. It's experience and wisdom (hopefully).
I married a man that I’m 11 yrs older and when I tell you he wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready! Maturity doesn’t always come with age plus he’s a disturbing Mona’s boy. I had no dog in the fight, he never put me or our marriage first when it came to his family so finally I made up my mind to let it go and file for divorce. The age gap just didn’t work for me and it’s much more deeper but I know I can only say so much here.
Watching since at 52 years of age I’m approached by men of all ages,… but 80% of them are in their 30s. The reoccurring phrase that repeats in my brain,…”they don’t even have gray hair, how can this even work ? 😅”
My grandmother married a man 23 years older than her. They were married 30 years before he passed away, and they were very happy together.
There are many other things that wreck a marriage.
Since women usually outlive men, I think a woman being older is an even better scenario.
If it's a Godly assignment, it will work whether older man or older woman. A three cord strand is not easily broken.Ecclesiastes 4:12
🤍✨
Sometimes younger men know that your older than them but they thought just a few years older than them and are surprised that you are older than they thought. Some of us older women haven't had nearly as many partners as some younger women. Yes you do have some very good points though. Funny I haven't been interested in a man too much younger than me. I look at 20s and 30s like a son.
That’s so true that many older women have not had many partners due to our upbringing. I’ve had less than 5 partners and men don’t believe me. It is so easy for me to abstain or be celibate for years in between breakups because I’m extremely picky and take pride in knowing that I have high standards
All is true but right now God is making a lot of exceptions to rules and he has the last say.
🙏🏽amen
My grandfather was ten years older than my grandmother and they were married 79 yrs with 16 children
I thank you for this topic as I’m starting to date! Merry Christmas to you and ur family🎄🌲
I can’t believe so many of y’all think a 40 yr old dating a 30 yr old is a problem… Y’all sound crazy.
I agree with you😂
@@karinazrzu 💯
@@karinazrzu no IG???
@@Gupertjones how old are you?
@@Gupertjones how do you know how old I am?
I feel the same way,I don't want a second daddy.
Totally agree 🎯
I have a 12 years age gap with my girlfriend I’m 33 and she’s 21. She act very mature for her age that I thought she was 25. Does it bothers me a little, but I tell you what, we’re very happy with each other. We love each other but again I hate that I felt in love with a 12 years age gap. But what can I do? I’m in love. 😞
I’ve seen a lot of YOUNG women with mileage lol. Each situation is different. If both people truly loves God first! It’s a relationship that can stand the rest of time.
I’m a Nurse Practitioner and met a patient who was 10 years younger than his 90 year old wife, married over 50 years who took such good care of her, as if she was his age. He adored her and wanted the best care for her
My ex husband was 17 years older than me. He’s the most immature person I’ve ever met. Very irresponsible and stubborn. I said yes because I was very insecure and idolized marriage. Worst decision I ever made. We have 5 kids together.
This 34 yr old woman at my job who is married with 6 kids had a sexual relationship with a 19 yr old at my job. I was so disgusted with her. I myself am 39 years old and have a 19 yr old, so it made me literally upset as if it were my son. Cant understand. This white woman was attracted to this young, black, 19 year old handsome kid and couldn't keep her hands off him. It made me so mad and disgusted.
Even tho he is over 18th at behavior from your coworker is still predatory
@@sheskates6551 yes he's barely an adult, still figuring out his self. He can even legally drink.
My husband is 15 years older than me and we've been married 8 yrs. Unfortunately, I've been waiting for him to grow up. I didnt get the traditional benefits of an older man. So ive been leading him for the last 12 years and he's starting to have health problems at 57 yrs old. Im finally trying to find the strength to choose myself or continue to take care of him until the end. I think we click the way we do because mentally he's in his second childhood. At 42, i believe I've already matured beyond him.
@@holographicwing😭😭😭😭😭😭you wrong for that but 🤣😭😭😭
@holographicwing then they'll be putting me in a home after a while lol...my age is best.
@@doughboygee6865🤣🤣
I gotta say yes honey you are correct move on.... my oldest daughter dad is 10years older+ but had a mentality of a child I dated him for almost 6 years almost 20 years ago, waste of my life and time, it's embarrassing to look at him now, he looks a mess, wisdom knowledge and understanding comes from the Lord, and that's something that my ex still doesn't have, to this day. I can't stand to look at him now..and now that I'm older I have been attracting a lot of younger men it's flattering, but though because I don't look my age anyways, God said he'd persevere us.🙌
I will be 48 next month. People are shocked when I say my age. As time goes on the sex will stop and they become old and orney. I thought it was a myth but my libido is thru the roof 😅
I've never commented on a vid yet. This is my first time. But honestly, dating outside of my age range changed my life! I tried dating men within 1 to 5 years of my age. Didn't work. Men take time to mature. Plus, I was already a single, divorced mother of 3. So, my prayer was for a mature, cultured, wise man to enter my life. Courtship was short. We are happily married. The biggest thing I had to establish was respect. I had to ensure that no man felt that I wouldn't walk away or that I NEEDED or depended on him. Then, I also had to study femininity. Single mamas can sometimes be more masculine or "alpha". I had to relearn how to be soft, feminine and how to be a good "co-pilot". I am 13 years younger than my hubby. I find him to be EXTREMELY handsome and attractive. We have a very similar mindset and our goals align. Combined we have 4 kids and possibly one is on the way. We will probably have more kids. But age gaps CAN definitely work. Some people grow together. Other people prefer to find someone who has their crap together. The guys in my age range are either taken or not ready. Most haven't achieced real life goals or have big assets yet. I grew up fast as a single mama. I needed someone older to match my maturity. My hubby is energetic, romantic and I can submit to him because he actually has something to submit to. He has a vision. We have joint and separate assets and a beautiful life together. I still wake in disbelief that I am living this life. Look around on UA-cam. Age gap creates balance sometimes. My hubby told me he was still going to lounges and bopping around in his 30s. I met him in his last 40s and he is a great partner
Thanks for sharing! Sounds great.
Someone i was dating for three weeks, 56 yrs old, I'm 49 his girl friend who's 38 came back and wanted to give there relationship another try and he went for her, saying they had fire.
You dodged a bullet! Praise God!
Chile give it 3 months...😅