@HeisenbergTheOGI can't believe the bots are actually this early, but I mean I don't think a computer is capable of being hours late to something it's likely supposed to consistently look for, so...
@HeisenbergTheOGWe're no strangers to love You know the rules, and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see it Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you (that's what you get for being a bot)
I don't think men realise how upsetting it is to suddenly lose a friend of five years because it turns out that the whole time they were secretly hoping to hook up with you. It makes it harder to trust your friendships and it's a really rubbish thing to do to someone.
I talked about this is another comment. Just how emotionally crushing it can be, once the anger fades, bc it's so painful to be quickly tossed aside and the friendship binned. It's also such a dehumanizing experience. Big (non creepy) hugs to all who have lost a friend like this.
yeah, people always focus on the other end, the person who has th feelings and whines about being rejected, but it's really devastating to lose a dear friend just because you weren't attracted to them
@@AstronomicalJelly Especially since most of the time guys have this reaction, its not a "we were friends but i caught feels" scenario but a "I pretended to be you friend because I thought I could manipulate you into a relationship" one.
Had a best friend for 7 years who felt the friendship entitled him to sex. Years later found out he told people “we just drifted apart” after graduation. I told his former friend the truth because his behavior was disgusting and disrespectful. He was never actually a friend.
Imagine leaving a review for a business admonishing them that their employees should be more focused on socializing with random people loitering on the premises without buying anything rather than performing their assigned tasks and assisting paying customers.
@@KateWick1997 For different aromantic people it is different. Some aromantic people feel absolutely zero romantic attraction, some on a very very very rare occasion may feel a small amount of romantic attraction towards certain people, and others might feel some romantic attraction after really getting to know someone personally.
About why "take [the woman] out on a date" feels more uncomfortable than phrasing it as "go out on a date", it's because "take" as a verb gives all the power to the subject (i.e. the person speaking) and makes the object (in this case the woman, grammatically speaking) completely powerless. When you ask someone if they want to go on a date with you, you're giving them the opportunity to refuse; if you're taking someone anywhere, it gives the impression that you're in complete control and it's implicitly removing any sense of agency from the woman in question. Also..."I am an anomaly".
I agree, but would also add a physical level to this on top of the language subjective/objective point. To be "taken on a date" implies the traditional way of dating, where the guy picks the girl up in his car and drives them somewhere, as opposed to meeting them in a public place like a cafe or the cinema. While most men probably don't mean to kidnap or force women into anything once they get them into their cars, it just doesn't come out as romantic anymore. Many of us women would much rather meet the guy somewhere safe first, and have means to make our own way home if things don't work out. And never have to even tell the guy our address until we know them a bit better.
@@tomlxyz That is probably what the guy meant by it but it still goes back to what I and @durabelle were saying. The words he actually used to say what he meant (rather than phrasing it as "I'd pay, if you like" which would still allow the woman an opportunity to refuse or offer to pay an equal share) gives the person saying it all the power within the relationship and when it comes to 'Nice Guys', him paying for the date also more often than not would lead to him thinking he's then automatically entitled to anything he wants just because he was "nice" and paid for the date...without having given the woman the option of paying in the first place. Also, nowadays paying for a meal or ticket anywhere is more of a negotiation rather than the man just being expected to pay everything. It's difficult to explain because it really is more about what words were used rather than being about exactly what the guy meant but everything about the way he phrased it gives off quite big red flags. As well as all the other red flags in that interaction.
As a gay man, I don't think I ever said "I took him out" or "he took me out", I always said "we were out" and I never really realised I did that until now
All the "friendzone" things make me so depressed. I'm demisexual, so I'm only capable of developing any kinds of feelings after developing a strong bond with somebody, which takes years. That's not to say I automatically fall in love with my friends after 2 years, but I literally cannot develop any feelings of attraction before that point. This stupid friendzone mentality is the reason I've only ever had the opportunity to develop attraction to guys I met in middle school, because that's how freaking far back I have to go to have had guy friends who didn't expect anything adult and get bent out of shape about it when that's not the case :(
Demi/grayromantic here (I’ve only felt romantic feelings towards a single person, so I like to joke that the sample size is too small to build a proper hypothesis lol) and I just wanted to send some positive vibes your way and say not everyone has that mentality. The “nice guy” folks tend to be an unfortunately vocal minority, but a fair number of people are really more open to having mutually platonic relationships, without a default expectation that it must escalate into a romantic one within x time frame. I’ve managed to find friends like that, a few that have even expressed attraction, but were very understanding when I explained my perspective. Hang in there :)
Demi here as well, nothing hurts me more then people hearing demi (or for those who I am not actually close to ace) and just thinking they can have an exception.. do they not understand how sexualities work!?
Hey, demi guy here. One of the most confusing things for me growing up was hearing other guys talk about the "friendzone" because I literally couldn't conceive of being attracted to someone I wasn't already friends with, so to me that was just status quo.
The "friendzone" is where they should WANT to be. Building up a trusting relationship first before trying to be each other's everything is the BEST way to end up together. Sincerely, someone who married her best friend.
I used to consider myself a "nice guy" just because I was genuinely kind, respectful and empathetic towards others, but I stopped because of these ""nice" guys" lol (and now I can't anymore anyways :3)
@@ShinyTillDawn Holy crap, I was thinking the same thing. If one really is a nice guy, gal, or enby pal, they won’t need to say it when their actions speak louder than words.
two thins a) guys like this make me glad I am lesbian and b) guys like this are one very tiny step away from being full blown incels who start unaliving women and that's really scary.
I'm not young. I've seen SO MANY people(usually men) like that through the decades...and it IS scary, because they REALLY are the ones ending doing the most terrible and regrettable crap to others(usually women)... Being 'nice' as a manipulative scheme is NOT an indication of kindness in ANY way!! Sadly being lesbian doesn't protect you...wish you the best, keep an eye out!
Fr this is the reason we don't wanna fw guys who act like this, do they not realize how terrifying and creepy their entitled behaviour is? Women fear for their lives Hell nearly anyone you treat like a toy will have a reasonable gut reaction
Oh, I accidentally married a nice guy. Really didn't realize because I genuinely thought he was nice. Found out years into the relationship that he didn't see women as equals and only did n8ce things to be viewed as nice. I already was supposed to see him as nice, so i no longer got the nice treatment and he went after all the other girls. I left.
@@DJLordShango no, he was a player all along, i was just blind to it because i thought... i dunno, he was just being friendly? It wasn't my place to question his friendships? I wasn't worth standing up for? Hard to say. But therapy helped.
I hate the fact that my female friends have to deal with these types of people. Like, imagine thinking you've got a friend, only for them to start yelling at you when you don't "give" them sex...
It's depressingly common. Most of my platonic relationships with men have ended with them attempting to date me (which i'm not demonizing in a vacuum, it's obviously fine if they want to ask), and then not respecting my no either by trying to force it or by blowing up and destroying the friendship. I don't know why so many men are like this.
I like the guy who's like "I find it extremely irritating that you can't allude to anything remotely sexual or physical with girls until you are well established physically". Yes you can. Time, place and reading the vibe my guy. If you go around being that forward with people who aren't looking for hookups or in spaces that aren't conductive to that kind of thing, of course it won't work out.
Yeah it's actually not that difficult, I think what they're struggling with is that people can hear the difference between say, a dirty joke and a dirty joke with the intent of suggesting something that the person might be uncomfortable with. I've found that people who struggle socially often don't realise how much their intent is on display.
The woman who was ready to give her "friend" a pass chaulking it up to him being drunk and was willing to forget everything said is an absolute gem of a human. Glad she got an out but Im sad she lose what she thought was a good friendship.
The way she handled it was so mature and respectable despite his horrible and immature behaviour. He is the one losing a great friend I hope he realizes his mistake and learns
I saw this post once where the dude was like “I hate that being friends with girls means that they’re going to talk to me about their day, they aren’t going to sleep with me, etc” and the response was generally just “So you don’t like that being friends with girls means you are… friends? With girls?”
Oh God, if I were the women in the interactions described in this video, I would be calling the police, changing my number, and probably googling witness protection programs.
I’m part of a niche kink community online where generally the guys are the ones with the kink and the women are more often the content creators, etc. I’m a woman, one with this kink, and so I’m a little unusual because so often the other women like me get scared off by entitled “nice guys” just like these getting extremely sexually aggressive (even less patient because they see their dating pool as only being within this community, which is … skewed). They then create their own scarcity because “there’s no one to date who’s like them”. The perfect example of one of these types found my profile, saw that I’m in a relationship and unavailable, and went into a rage about it. Me, a total stranger, I was apparently the one responsible for his loneliness because “you’re ALL taken!” The lack of self-awareness is shocking and profound and very deeply layered.
Convo about the guy creeping after his sister in law and her wife. 'Your brother's a dick but at least I didn't have to grow up with him' 'at least he never hit on me'.
This reminds me of when I was telling my ex-boyfriend a "Nice Guy" story from my past which made me realize my ex was a "nice guy," too. The story is that I was drinking with friends, and this man who was a friend of a friend to me was talking about a woman from his work who was always saying no when he would invite her out to places. He would say he wasn't romantically interested in her but then kept going on about how he kept offering, how he's a nice guy, what's wrong with her, why is she being so anti-social, etc. After several minutes of his monologue, I couldn't stand it anymore, and I calmly said "Maybe you aren't such a nice guy...." He was PISSED, but I thought I had a point and wasn't really being mean, and I didn't say anything more than that. So I was telling my then-boyfriend this story and that I was kinda proud that I called it out (Because I am an anomaly! :P). HOWEVER, my then-boyfriend reacted with "I would have been SO angry if you'd said that to me." WTF? I should have realized that was a red flag!
I’m glad he’s an ex. (Also, your response to the other guy was excellent. With more optimism than is probably warranted, I hope it shifted something for him and he was able to change.)
@@kalieris Maybe! Mr. "Nice Guy" was so angry that he went outside and smashed his beer bottle to the ground! So yeah, I think it left an impression and maybe made him see. I've not been keen on seeing him again since our friends group ended due to several of us moving, so I may never know.
OOF Yea that's a red flag for an abuser tbh, if they can't take criticism or pushback without getting mad about it, then they're absolutely controlling and probably violent.
21:09 "Women are attracted to actual intelligence (how to succeed in life), not incelligence (eidetic memory of one's entire pepe folder and strategic knowledge of how Germany could've won WW2" is such a hilarious and accurate call-out that I'm surprised the OP didn't end up in the hospital with 3rd degree burns.
I am so sorry I couldn't finish the episode, these entitled jerks make me violently ill. I used to be a bit of a 'nice guy' and every time I think back to that part of my life, I want to reach back in time to strangle my past self.
Also kinda true for all humans. The human race is vastly unique compared to other animals. And there's strong reasoning that a lot of it has to do with cooking! So keep being the beautiful, amazing, anomaly that you are! The world is better for it!
@@frolikswfroggys6416 Ehhh, we're not that unique as animals, that's just a lingering belief from the Human Stewardship concept of Christianity. We're also not the only animals to eat cooked foods. For example in Australia a lot of carnivores will feast readily on the charred remains of animals caught in bushfires, some of our hawks even set fires by carrying burning twigs away from other fires. A whole lot of birds and apes use tools. Most animals communicate and have surprisingly complex languages. We're not even the only animal to have sapience, since Octopodes have been shown to have a comparable intellect and dolphins have been shown to express sapience as well. Even the idea of humans having emotions that other animals don't falls apart as soon as you study other social animals. We're not special as a species, not really, just more destructive in our building habits. (we also aren't the only builders, even insects build things, often more efficient and sturdy things than we can)
@Jane-oz7pp fair. But I'd point out that you named a bunch of different species that do each of the things we do. We do all of those rare things. It is true that in a lot of ways, we have become quite self-destructive, and that's sad. But I choose to believe that we can do more good than bad. We just need to believe in each other. Have a wonderful day!
10:20 this dude, I’m white too, I live in Texas, I go to college and not once, not once have I been called racist or sexist by anyone. You know why? Because I actually care about people, I’m loyal, I’m helpful, I’m the person who brings you tissues and lets you cry on my shoulder, I don’t get dates either, but does that make me stop caring for that person, stop helping them, stop supporting them, cut my ties with them? Hell no, I’m still their friend, I may not be the one they love romantically, but I’m someone that they can rely on, I offer my support, and I don’t let my feelings push boundaries that are clearly set in place. These “Nice guys” aren’t even halfway decent people, and by the way I don’t see myself as anything that I have described, this is what people tell me I am. I don’t always believe that.
19:07 It's funny that you asked if real people do this, because I used to think it just never happened. Then, in 2003, when I was in a college study abroad program in Germany, I had a random elderly lady ask me if I'd help her across the street. I did so, though I will admit that the situation did strike me as strange and I was kind of terrified that I would accidentally hurt her as she seemed very frail when holding my hand. But, it did work out fine and she thanked me. It's one of those things that's stayed with me over the years as, like you said, I didn't think it actually happened in the real world. Maybe just in Germany? (j/k)
Yes, I said "I'm an anomaly" out load and giggle like a school girl.... I love when you're soooo done with a post that you start to whisper the words. That's how I know how out there the posts are. Thank you for making me smile, I was having a hard emotional day.
The “I’m in college and have $50,000 in the bank” got me. 1) yeah that’s what woos the college girls- reading your bank statements 2) Hm I wonder how he has $50k in the bank while in college. Must have mowed a lot of lawns /s
One times, someone left a rant on Twitter (Never calling it X) about single women and marriage, and one of the comments was "Dude, she said no, just let it go"
I've had friends who'd wanted to hook up. But always respected the fact that *I* wasn't interested. Our friendships continued like normal. This has been happening since highschool so age isn't the issue.
Wish I had the "self confidence" of these guys. Not that it's actually self confidence, more like them being insecure and overreacting when they're rejected.
Haha I got the "you'd look better with long hair" comment when I was on Tinder years ago. Apparently I could "really unlock my potential good looks" 😅 obviously did not respond back anymore. Did screenshot it for laughs later 😆
@@KateWick1997 wasn't restricting the statement to lgbt+. I am saying every human is unique and amazing. I am deeply sorry if it came off in a hurtful way.
@KateWick1997 the direct definition is just something that deviates from what is standard or expected. But I can't argue that, in general, it has been used in context to imply negative connotation. I was simply trying to put a twist on the request from the video to say, "I am an anomaly," to make a fun, uplifting message. I did not spend enough time to consider how the phrasing might sound.
@KateWick1997 Thank you for pointing out my error in recognizing important context. It is true that in some contexts, like programming, anomalies are something to remove. And I hadn't considered that bigots have most likely used the term in a similar way. And how words are seen or used by most of society is important. I would point out that the word's literal definition does not carry this negative view. Every evolutionary step would have been seen as an anomaly to what the standard expectation was prior.
As a cis guy, it annoys me how so many otjer guys will only befriend women for their personal sexual desires, and not because they genuinely like the person, i have multiple female friends, i don't talk to them for some hidden motive, i talk to them because they are funny and we have a lot in common, if by some chance i were to develop feelings for one of them and they say no, I'm not going to discard them from my life, just because you can't get into someone's pants doesn't mean you should start ghosting them, if you truly valued them as a human being, you would still want them in your life regardless.
Nice people don't lash out just because they have been rejected, nor do nice people who are worth dating revenge-post their rejection messages online to further humiliate someone.
liked the video, although it was pretty depressing. nice guys are the bane of my existence. one thing i wanted to note was that i felt uncomfortable with your (as well as the posts') use of the term "more than friends", because i think romantic/sexual relationships aren't more than friendships necessarily but are just something different, although maybe it bothered just little aroace me. either way the video was great like all of your videos. thank you. i am an anomaly
Maybe people say "more than friends" because friendship is the foundation of healthy romantic relationships? Like, relationship = friendship + additional stuff? I came up with this off the top of my head, totally spitballing, could be very wrong. I personally hate when people say "just friends." I feel like it disparages the friendship and the people in them, like it's a lowly connection, nothing worth caring about or even acknowledging. People can't live a healthy life without friends, but absolutely can without a committed romantic partner
I think it’s so sweet that you keep saying “romantic interest” or “romantic feelings” when describing what these men feel entitled too. And I’m not being sarcastic. You are genuinely kind by giving them the benefit of the doubt that what they want from these women is more then just sex (even if it includes sex). However I am more cynical and believe all they want is sex. Or sex plus any one way relationship gestures they can get like words of affirmation or acts of service. Sex, compliments, dates to the office party looking hot to be shown off, and maybe a home cooked meal. But I don’t think romance has anything to do with it. 🤷♀️😬😂
I Had a guy be my freind for 2 years and one day he just tuned randomly around and said he liked me all that time and when I turned him down (as I was still figuring out my identity) he never talked to me again. 2 years of a frankly amazing friendship meant NOTHING to him. 😭
“I’m in college. I have a 4.0” - Cool “I work out every day and am physically attractive” - you don’t need to say that. If it’s true, then your pictures will say that for you. “I have hobbies” why not just talk about your hobbies? “I understand finance and real estate and can provide a future” that’s not the flex you think it is. Women can also understand finance and real estate and work for their own futures. And then the rest of his turd filled rant really hammered the last nail in the coffin. The dude basically made himself undateable.
The holiday one , there is a very easy way to stop straight guys like it that. Ask them do they find one of their male friends attractive, when they say no. Asked them again, saying well they are attractive, they treat you well how come you're not attracted to them . They say im not gay im not in to that. But would you not give them a chance? No . Then explain this is how i feel when you are talking to me , it doesn't matter what you do , how you act or who says you're attractive. I just don't see you in that way. Because Attraction isnt something personally. Its normal an automatic thing. Like im a gay guy, i tend to get this" masculine" type men hit on me online, guys that others do find attractive. But personal i find fem and cute more attractive. Now when it comes to treating people right that is literally the bare minimum you do in a friendship never mind a relationship. Ive never understood that. I do blame tv and moives from the 90s that put this idea that treating a women right, buying her gifts or talking her out for dinner automatically entitled the guy to action. I think they got date and escorts mixed up.
The cartoon post hit a tiny bit close to home for me. I'm a bi-romantic & ace woman who is attracted more to woman than men yet despite this I've had people tell me I just haven't decided yet & had a former friend repeatedly try to get with me despite me telling him repeatedly he was not my type. Also, without going into too many details, the other big red flag was that he didn't believe that ace or aro was a real thing & that those people just needed to find someone & that sex was necessary thing for everyone. Lastly there was the flat out homophobia that gay people didn't need to be allowed the right to marry because they could just get a certificate. Safe to say I no longer talk with that person
An anomaly indeed. I love a good alliteration! My favorites are from a children’s book/musical. Music by Carol King, script and lyrics by Maurice Sendak. The full movie is titled Really Rosie, and the song in question is A Alligators All Around. Really fun if you like this kind of thing!
24:00 "that women aren't as horny or sexual as men" there are plenty of women who are really horny and/or sexual! (and plenty of men who are not, don't project your experience on all men, man) but see, here's the thing, many men seem to have a hard time telling the difference between 'being horny', 'feeling sexual', and 'acting predatory' and women are left to deal with the consequences. making it hard to just be so non-chalante about your sexualness, as a woman dating men.
Finally so early to a video, I always love Jamie's videos and I love the r/niceguys subreddit Also genuine comment: I wonder if the trans egg is the joke that I think it is...
If some attractive looking guy would come up to me with a colar in hand and dominantly asks me "I expect you to wear this tonight, If you want to." I probably would go with it. My thesis is: "I dont have taste in men, I have hunger!" ^^ How bad is it?
16:28 What has happened to the phrase 'Don't judge a book by its cover'? Oh, I have forgotten that they were banning and burning books again, in America.
"Why aren't women attracted to intelligence?" Well that's a way of claiming all women are the same geez, like I actually am attracted to intelligence and I am sure I can't be the only one who is
I can’t remember where I saw it, but a quote I saw on Reddit perfectly sums up how I felt reading these: “My legs closed so hard I’m now officially a mermaid” 🧜🏻♀️
These guys will literally insist on paying at a nice restaurant and then call the girl a gold digger when she doesn't sleep with him after. They use it as both a bargaining chip to buy sex and as an out for taking responsibility for their behavior. Guys like that seem convinced that a relationship is just prostitution with extra steps. That it's just "spend enough money and sex comes out" and if you tell them that's not how it works, they go on an Andrew Tate rant and say you're lying.
@@RiveroftheWither yeah you're just lying and using them for a free meal. I've come across a few guys like this so if a guy agressivly insists or seems super bothered by my offer to pay for my own stuff, I call it off. Like they can pay or want to pay but if I'm like "Nah, all good. I got my way," and they get upset, like angry or pouty for real, I just check out. Like ask the waitress of there is a separate table I can move to for myself. I'm hungry and want to eat but I've decided it would be best to eat alone. (And I love a nice quiet meal out by myself, so it's no embarrassment to me.)
They see all sexual relationships as transactional. If they don’t have money and can’t get sex they get mad at the purely transactional system they’ve invented in their own heads and blame women for it. And if they do have money and don’t get sex they get mad at women for not conforming to their imaginary system.
@@RiveroftheWitheralso do not forget, that they ALSO complain, when a woman insists on paying her own meal, because then she does not appreciate his manliness....
Many years ago my husband was in a band with a guy who considered himself “a nice guy”. One evening he was complaining about women. He then said “I HATE shallow chicks” (yes, he called women “chicks” which is a pretty good indication of his mentality). He continued….”I hate shallow chicks AND fat chicks!” We all just stared at him dumbfounded. 🤦🏻♀️
I mean chicks do tend to be shallow. Their brains aren’t very big. They usually tend to think only of themselves, and they’ll fight other chicks just to get what they want. The only time they care about others is when they are nursing their babies. They are especially mean around food. I’ve seen some chicks fight over watermelon and try to peck each others eyes out. I mean chickens really are just vicious little birds sometimes! …Oh wait, were you talking about women?
Imagine if romantic options in video games had a chance to reject you based on your actions or personality. Might be a good medium to teach some lessons 😅
yeah, the thing about those is that the game gives you options and you can either succeed or fail. irl no one handing you anyone and humans are far more complex than correct/incorrect superficial speech bubble. but somehow I feel like they still wouldnt manage to finish those games without looking up a guide.
"I am attractive"--ironically, I like scrawny guys, so him saying "I am attractive" probably means I'd find him ugly. Nobody is universally attractive. I think Brad Pitt is fairly ugly even though all my friends have drooled over him. Just not my thing (and I even PREFER beardless pretty boys in the first place.)
When my little sister and I were teens, we'd often just go driving around at like 3am on a Saturday or something. We'd sometimes go to stores, and the amount of times that GROWN MEN would approach her and not back down when she said she was 16 was absurd. She's always put value in being as put together as she can be, so she's gotten a lot of unwanted attention from creeps over the years. And no one would respect when I'd step in and tell them to fuck off, so I often had to threaten to inflict pain upon these weirdos. At some point, a guy asked if we were lesbos, my sister said yeah (thinking that'd get him to go away) and this guy proceeds to tell a 16 year old how he could "fix" her. I threatened to castrate him in that Walmart if he didn't walk away right then. Almost all of these men made comments about how they're nice, a catch, and/or know how to treat a woman right any time I'd yell at them. Any guy who says he's nice is not, in fact, nice. That's the kind of person you need to get tf away from.
No Genuenly ARE YOU OKAY SHOULD I CALL THE AUTHORITIES THATS FKN SEXUAL HARRASMENT I CANT BELIEVE NO ONE HELPED YOU BOTH OUT OF THIS SITUATION ARE YOU OKAY SHOULD I CALL A THERAPIST????
I always laugh when someone’s like “everyone calls me racist just bc I’m white” or “everybody calls me sexust bc I’m a man” meanwhile Jamie is a white man and literally no one calls him racist or sexist….mayyyybee the guy in the reddit post said something racist and sexist
The ship dynamic of "friends-to-lovers" is my jam (including its variant "enemies to friends to lovers"), but that doesn't mean EVERY pairing has to turn romantic after some magic time limit. If you want to be romantic with someone, just COMMUNICATE your intentions early on, unless feelings change later, but if they do change, be honest and direct. Acting friendly with some secret intentions? That's some predator shit.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who sees that this type of manipulative behavior is predatory. It's both cringe reading the "nice guy" messages and fr scary.
When I came out in college I got the "but youre so feminine" stuff SO OFTEN that I ended up doing panels for my human sexuality class. She'd have people of all different sexualities up there & people had to guess who was who. I ALWAYS brought a dress & heels to school with me to really play up the feminine. I was determined to break stereotypes & had a couple younger women tell me that I helped them start to figure out their sexuality because they also thought lesbians had to be "masculine" 😮 its wild to me that almost 20 years later & people still think the same thing!
Thank you very much for stepping up to the incredibly difficult task of working against homophobic AND sexistic misconceptions. A lot has changed, but unfortuately, ppl are also equipped with VERY protective brains, who'll fight for dear life over mainaining the integrity of whatever assumptions ppl have. Cause giving up that safety could totally wreck their pyche. A lot of people are relatively frail AND overwhelmed and it's the only way their brains knows to keep them safe. That said, media is frequently still not helping. It's gonna get better when it starts to get normalized to have all sorts of ppl in shows, without ridingold tropes to the death :'D Like the "lesbians gotta be masculine" one. Give it a bit more time. Most young ppl now are SOOOOO much better at this. But these habits take a bunch of generations to really get re-learned!
Same energy as "you should make yourself look more masculine so gay guys don't feel drawn to you, because if there's one thing gay men aren't into, it is... manlyness?" ( incorrectly quoted from an osp video)
to make matters worse, here in the Bible belt our nice guys are often "Born Agains". Guys who pray every minute of the day but are at the core of their beings are the nastiest, most misogynistic, and, often, the most racist and all around worst haters you'll ever meet. I know humans screw up every religion but it's like these guys go out of their way to prevert Jesus' most basic teachings.
Get your PUD plushie here: www.makeship.com/products/pud-the-pride-dino-plush
@HeisenbergTheOGYou don’t even really have any content on your channel
@HeisenbergTheOGI can't believe the bots are actually this early, but I mean I don't think a computer is capable of being hours late to something it's likely supposed to consistently look for, so...
Kind of wish the detachable egg was also a keychain.
@HeisenbergTheOG Bot.
@HeisenbergTheOGWe're no strangers to love
You know the rules, and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and
Desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna _say_ goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and
Hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside, we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see it
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and
Desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna _say_ goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and
Hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and
Desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna _say_ goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and
Hurt you
We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside, we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and
Desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna _say_ goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and
Hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and
Desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna _say_ goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and
Hurt you
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and
Desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna _say_ goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and
Hurt you
(that's what you get for being a bot)
I love how you can always tell when guys dont view women as people
Then you can avoid them extra hard
Hell, nowadays it’s hard to see ANY people as people. Nice guys are a good example of this.
People can be so stupid. I'm disappointed in humankind. Everybody is a human and should be treated as such.
Yeah, it's guy women can't get enough with.
@@94DeathAngel And/or consider women of any age on par with young children.
I don't think men realise how upsetting it is to suddenly lose a friend of five years because it turns out that the whole time they were secretly hoping to hook up with you. It makes it harder to trust your friendships and it's a really rubbish thing to do to someone.
No kidding. I'm aro-ace. It's happened to me a couple times, and it's awful.
I talked about this is another comment. Just how emotionally crushing it can be, once the anger fades, bc it's so painful to be quickly tossed aside and the friendship binned. It's also such a dehumanizing experience.
Big (non creepy) hugs to all who have lost a friend like this.
yeah, people always focus on the other end, the person who has th feelings and whines about being rejected, but it's really devastating to lose a dear friend just because you weren't attracted to them
@@AstronomicalJelly
Especially since most of the time guys have this reaction, its not a "we were friends but i caught feels" scenario but a "I pretended to be you friend because I thought I could manipulate you into a relationship" one.
Had a best friend for 7 years who felt the friendship entitled him to sex. Years later found out he told people “we just drifted apart” after graduation. I told his former friend the truth because his behavior was disgusting and disrespectful. He was never actually a friend.
Nice guy: 90% of your beauty can be removed with a tissue
Me: 90% of your niceness can be removed with a 'no'
REAL
I laughed out loud at this!
Where is the magic makeup removing tissue? I'd pay too coin for a tissue that actually wipes off all makeup.
Aight that's a savage comeback
It's Mr. Clean magic eraser!
Imagine leaving a review for a business admonishing them that their employees should be more focused on socializing with random people loitering on the premises without buying anything rather than performing their assigned tasks and assisting paying customers.
I think I'd give that employee a raise.
I'm aromantic so I wouldn't date anyone with pronouns lol
@@KateWick1997No romantic attraction to people.
real tbh
@KateWick1997 just more people that will make you cry.
@@KateWick1997 Someone who feels little to no romantic attraction to other people.
@@KateWick1997 For different aromantic people it is different. Some aromantic people feel absolutely zero romantic attraction, some on a very very very rare occasion may feel a small amount of romantic attraction towards certain people, and others might feel some romantic attraction after really getting to know someone personally.
About why "take [the woman] out on a date" feels more uncomfortable than phrasing it as "go out on a date", it's because "take" as a verb gives all the power to the subject (i.e. the person speaking) and makes the object (in this case the woman, grammatically speaking) completely powerless. When you ask someone if they want to go on a date with you, you're giving them the opportunity to refuse; if you're taking someone anywhere, it gives the impression that you're in complete control and it's implicitly removing any sense of agency from the woman in question.
Also..."I am an anomaly".
That's a really good explanation thank you, I couldn't put my finger on why it felt off.
I agree, but would also add a physical level to this on top of the language subjective/objective point. To be "taken on a date" implies the traditional way of dating, where the guy picks the girl up in his car and drives them somewhere, as opposed to meeting them in a public place like a cafe or the cinema. While most men probably don't mean to kidnap or force women into anything once they get them into their cars, it just doesn't come out as romantic anymore. Many of us women would much rather meet the guy somewhere safe first, and have means to make our own way home if things don't work out. And never have to even tell the guy our address until we know them a bit better.
I've always thought it just meant that person would pay for it, although I'm not a native English speaker
@@tomlxyz That is probably what the guy meant by it but it still goes back to what I and @durabelle were saying. The words he actually used to say what he meant (rather than phrasing it as "I'd pay, if you like" which would still allow the woman an opportunity to refuse or offer to pay an equal share) gives the person saying it all the power within the relationship and when it comes to 'Nice Guys', him paying for the date also more often than not would lead to him thinking he's then automatically entitled to anything he wants just because he was "nice" and paid for the date...without having given the woman the option of paying in the first place. Also, nowadays paying for a meal or ticket anywhere is more of a negotiation rather than the man just being expected to pay everything.
It's difficult to explain because it really is more about what words were used rather than being about exactly what the guy meant but everything about the way he phrased it gives off quite big red flags. As well as all the other red flags in that interaction.
As a gay man, I don't think I ever said "I took him out" or "he took me out", I always said "we were out" and I never really realised I did that until now
All the "friendzone" things make me so depressed. I'm demisexual, so I'm only capable of developing any kinds of feelings after developing a strong bond with somebody, which takes years. That's not to say I automatically fall in love with my friends after 2 years, but I literally cannot develop any feelings of attraction before that point. This stupid friendzone mentality is the reason I've only ever had the opportunity to develop attraction to guys I met in middle school, because that's how freaking far back I have to go to have had guy friends who didn't expect anything adult and get bent out of shape about it when that's not the case :(
Demi/grayromantic here (I’ve only felt romantic feelings towards a single person, so I like to joke that the sample size is too small to build a proper hypothesis lol) and I just wanted to send some positive vibes your way and say not everyone has that mentality. The “nice guy” folks tend to be an unfortunately vocal minority, but a fair number of people are really more open to having mutually platonic relationships, without a default expectation that it must escalate into a romantic one within x time frame. I’ve managed to find friends like that, a few that have even expressed attraction, but were very understanding when I explained my perspective. Hang in there :)
Demi here as well, nothing hurts me more then people hearing demi (or for those who I am not actually close to ace) and just thinking they can have an exception.. do they not understand how sexualities work!?
@@Silentgrace11 Thank you for the good vibes! And I'm glad you've been having positive experiences in this area :)
Hey, demi guy here. One of the most confusing things for me growing up was hearing other guys talk about the "friendzone" because I literally couldn't conceive of being attracted to someone I wasn't already friends with, so to me that was just status quo.
The "friendzone" is where they should WANT to be. Building up a trusting relationship first before trying to be each other's everything is the BEST way to end up together. Sincerely, someone who married her best friend.
It's never actual nice guys who call themselves nice guys. It's typically "nice guys" who are acting nice temporarily to be manipulative.
I used to consider myself a "nice guy" just because I was genuinely kind, respectful and empathetic towards others, but I stopped because of these ""nice" guys" lol (and now I can't anymore anyways :3)
Actions speak louder than words. It's like republicans when they say that they are pro-freedom & pro-life.
@@ShinyTillDawn- Exactly.
@lu0z9_the_I lol I was thinking the same thing.
@@ShinyTillDawn Holy crap, I was thinking the same thing. If one really is a nice guy, gal, or enby pal, they won’t need to say it when their actions speak louder than words.
two thins a) guys like this make me glad I am lesbian and b) guys like this are one very tiny step away from being full blown incels who start unaliving women and that's really scary.
I said something very similar in another comment. It's a short trip from entitled frustration to sexual assault.
I'm not young. I've seen SO MANY people(usually men) like that through the decades...and it IS scary, because they REALLY are the ones ending doing the most terrible and regrettable crap to others(usually women)...
Being 'nice' as a manipulative scheme is NOT an indication of kindness in ANY way!!
Sadly being lesbian doesn't protect you...wish you the best, keep an eye out!
Fr this is the reason we don't wanna fw guys who act like this, do they not realize how terrifying and creepy their entitled behaviour is? Women fear for their lives
Hell nearly anyone you treat like a toy will have a reasonable gut reaction
Oh, I accidentally married a nice guy. Really didn't realize because I genuinely thought he was nice. Found out years into the relationship that he didn't see women as equals and only did n8ce things to be viewed as nice. I already was supposed to see him as nice, so i no longer got the nice treatment and he went after all the other girls. I left.
I'm happy for you for leaving him.
So he was “nice” for yrs and all of a sudden he totally changed and became a player
I’m so sorry that happened and very glad you left him.
@@DJLordShango no, he was a player all along, i was just blind to it because i thought... i dunno, he was just being friendly? It wasn't my place to question his friendships? I wasn't worth standing up for? Hard to say. But therapy helped.
Good on you for leaving. Hope you are finding happiness
I hate the fact that my female friends have to deal with these types of people.
Like, imagine thinking you've got a friend, only for them to start yelling at you when you don't "give" them sex...
As an agender AFAB who's demisexual pan I've delt with this
Oof. Hate that anyone has to go through it really. I mean, even for me as a pan man it's happened, but thankfully in my case only once
@@DinosaurNick demisexual pan gang 🤘🤘
It's depressingly common. Most of my platonic relationships with men have ended with them attempting to date me (which i'm not demonizing in a vacuum, it's obviously fine if they want to ask), and then not respecting my no either by trying to force it or by blowing up and destroying the friendship. I don't know why so many men are like this.
@@alexr2172
Misogyny :(
I like the guy who's like "I find it extremely irritating that you can't allude to anything remotely sexual or physical with girls until you are well established physically". Yes you can. Time, place and reading the vibe my guy. If you go around being that forward with people who aren't looking for hookups or in spaces that aren't conductive to that kind of thing, of course it won't work out.
Yeah it's actually not that difficult, I think what they're struggling with is that people can hear the difference between say, a dirty joke and a dirty joke with the intent of suggesting something that the person might be uncomfortable with.
I've found that people who struggle socially often don't realise how much their intent is on display.
The woman who was ready to give her "friend" a pass chaulking it up to him being drunk and was willing to forget everything said is an absolute gem of a human. Glad she got an out but Im sad she lose what she thought was a good friendship.
The way she handled it was so mature and respectable despite his horrible and immature behaviour. He is the one losing a great friend
I hope he realizes his mistake and learns
I saw this post once where the dude was like “I hate that being friends with girls means that they’re going to talk to me about their day, they aren’t going to sleep with me, etc” and the response was generally just “So you don’t like that being friends with girls means you are… friends? With girls?”
Oh God, if I were the women in the interactions described in this video, I would be calling the police, changing my number, and probably googling witness protection programs.
Why call the cops? They won't DO anything.
I’m part of a niche kink community online where generally the guys are the ones with the kink and the women are more often the content creators, etc. I’m a woman, one with this kink, and so I’m a little unusual because so often the other women like me get scared off by entitled “nice guys” just like these getting extremely sexually aggressive (even less patient because they see their dating pool as only being within this community, which is … skewed). They then create their own scarcity because “there’s no one to date who’s like them”. The perfect example of one of these types found my profile, saw that I’m in a relationship and unavailable, and went into a rage about it. Me, a total stranger, I was apparently the one responsible for his loneliness because “you’re ALL taken!”
The lack of self-awareness is shocking and profound and very deeply layered.
Convo about the guy creeping after his sister in law and her wife. 'Your brother's a dick but at least I didn't have to grow up with him' 'at least he never hit on me'.
This reminds me of when I was telling my ex-boyfriend a "Nice Guy" story from my past which made me realize my ex was a "nice guy," too. The story is that I was drinking with friends, and this man who was a friend of a friend to me was talking about a woman from his work who was always saying no when he would invite her out to places. He would say he wasn't romantically interested in her but then kept going on about how he kept offering, how he's a nice guy, what's wrong with her, why is she being so anti-social, etc. After several minutes of his monologue, I couldn't stand it anymore, and I calmly said "Maybe you aren't such a nice guy...." He was PISSED, but I thought I had a point and wasn't really being mean, and I didn't say anything more than that.
So I was telling my then-boyfriend this story and that I was kinda proud that I called it out (Because I am an anomaly! :P). HOWEVER, my then-boyfriend reacted with "I would have been SO angry if you'd said that to me." WTF? I should have realized that was a red flag!
I’m glad he’s an ex. (Also, your response to the other guy was excellent. With more optimism than is probably warranted, I hope it shifted something for him and he was able to change.)
@@kalieris Maybe! Mr. "Nice Guy" was so angry that he went outside and smashed his beer bottle to the ground! So yeah, I think it left an impression and maybe made him see. I've not been keen on seeing him again since our friends group ended due to several of us moving, so I may never know.
OOF
Yea that's a red flag for an abuser tbh, if they can't take criticism or pushback without getting mad about it, then they're absolutely controlling and probably violent.
21:09 "Women are attracted to actual intelligence (how to succeed in life), not incelligence (eidetic memory of one's entire pepe folder and strategic knowledge of how Germany could've won WW2" is such a hilarious and accurate call-out that I'm surprised the OP didn't end up in the hospital with 3rd degree burns.
This horrifying. Can't believe we only saw one person threaten to call the police
“What are you offering to pay for” had me rolling on the floor!!!💀💀💀 My thought exactly, Jamie.
I am so sorry I couldn't finish the episode, these entitled jerks make me violently ill.
I used to be a bit of a 'nice guy' and every time I think back to that part of my life, I want to reach back in time to strangle my past self.
I am an anomaly who has to wait to see Pud till basically Christmas.
Loving that this video is longer than normal! Also, yes, "I am an anomaly" is fun to say lol
Also kinda true for all humans. The human race is vastly unique compared to other animals. And there's strong reasoning that a lot of it has to do with cooking! So keep being the beautiful, amazing, anomaly that you are! The world is better for it!
@@frolikswfroggys6416 Ehhh, we're not that unique as animals, that's just a lingering belief from the Human Stewardship concept of Christianity.
We're also not the only animals to eat cooked foods. For example in Australia a lot of carnivores will feast readily on the charred remains of animals caught in bushfires, some of our hawks even set fires by carrying burning twigs away from other fires.
A whole lot of birds and apes use tools.
Most animals communicate and have surprisingly complex languages.
We're not even the only animal to have sapience, since Octopodes have been shown to have a comparable intellect and dolphins have been shown to express sapience as well.
Even the idea of humans having emotions that other animals don't falls apart as soon as you study other social animals.
We're not special as a species, not really, just more destructive in our building habits. (we also aren't the only builders, even insects build things, often more efficient and sturdy things than we can)
@Jane-oz7pp fair. But I'd point out that you named a bunch of different species that do each of the things we do. We do all of those rare things. It is true that in a lot of ways, we have become quite self-destructive, and that's sad. But I choose to believe that we can do more good than bad. We just need to believe in each other. Have a wonderful day!
10:20 this dude, I’m white too, I live in Texas, I go to college and not once, not once have I been called racist or sexist by anyone. You know why? Because I actually care about people, I’m loyal, I’m helpful, I’m the person who brings you tissues and lets you cry on my shoulder, I don’t get dates either, but does that make me stop caring for that person, stop helping them, stop supporting them, cut my ties with them? Hell no, I’m still their friend, I may not be the one they love romantically, but I’m someone that they can rely on, I offer my support, and I don’t let my feelings push boundaries that are clearly set in place. These “Nice guys” aren’t even halfway decent people, and by the way I don’t see myself as anything that I have described, this is what people tell me I am. I don’t always believe that.
19:07 It's funny that you asked if real people do this, because I used to think it just never happened. Then, in 2003, when I was in a college study abroad program in Germany, I had a random elderly lady ask me if I'd help her across the street. I did so, though I will admit that the situation did strike me as strange and I was kind of terrified that I would accidentally hurt her as she seemed very frail when holding my hand. But, it did work out fine and she thanked me. It's one of those things that's stayed with me over the years as, like you said, I didn't think it actually happened in the real world. Maybe just in Germany? (j/k)
I'm German and I've never seen this happen either. Seems to be a rare thing all around
I've helped older people climb the stairs
Its people like this that make it so people cant trust others who are being genuinely nice to them.
Just ordered Pud I need him
Yes, I said "I'm an anomaly" out load and giggle like a school girl.... I love when you're soooo done with a post that you start to whisper the words. That's how I know how out there the posts are. Thank you for making me smile, I was having a hard emotional day.
The “I’m in college and have $50,000 in the bank” got me.
1) yeah that’s what woos the college girls- reading your bank statements
2) Hm I wonder how he has $50k in the bank while in college. Must have mowed a lot of lawns /s
Some of these stories remind me of the song ‘an unhealthy obsession’.
You know, the stalker song.
Oh, I know that song
It's a bop tbh
One times, someone left a rant on Twitter (Never calling it X) about single women and marriage, and one of the comments was "Dude, she said no, just let it go"
i’m an anomaly, i am an enigma, a mystery, a conundrum even.
I've had friends who'd wanted to hook up. But always respected the fact that *I* wasn't interested. Our friendships continued like normal. This has been happening since highschool so age isn't the issue.
I am an anomaly.
31, male.
Single and a virgin and I'm okay with that.
There is more to life than adult fun. time.
Wish I had the "self confidence" of these guys. Not that it's actually self confidence, more like them being insecure and overreacting when they're rejected.
I used to be a "nice guy" never wanna be that person again
I did say "I am an anomaly" out loud and it was indeed very fun
Incelligence is the best thing I've heard all day lmao
Haha I got the "you'd look better with long hair" comment when I was on Tinder years ago. Apparently I could "really unlock my potential good looks" 😅 obviously did not respond back anymore. Did screenshot it for laughs later 😆
We are all anomalies! That's what makes us so great!
@@KateWick1997 wasn't restricting the statement to lgbt+. I am saying every human is unique and amazing. I am deeply sorry if it came off in a hurtful way.
@KateWick1997 lmao, you got triggered and cried. What a snowflake!
@KateWick1997 the direct definition is just something that deviates from what is standard or expected. But I can't argue that, in general, it has been used in context to imply negative connotation. I was simply trying to put a twist on the request from the video to say, "I am an anomaly," to make a fun, uplifting message. I did not spend enough time to consider how the phrasing might sound.
@KateWick1997 Thank you for pointing out my error in recognizing important context. It is true that in some contexts, like programming, anomalies are something to remove. And I hadn't considered that bigots have most likely used the term in a similar way. And how words are seen or used by most of society is important. I would point out that the word's literal definition does not carry this negative view. Every evolutionary step would have been seen as an anomaly to what the standard expectation was prior.
@@KateWick1997Tell me you didn't watch the video without telling me you didn't watch the video 😘
TBH "up up, down down, left left, right right" sounds like the steps/moves of the latest TikTok dance...
You got me muttering "I am an anomaly" to myself 😂
As a cis guy, it annoys me how so many otjer guys will only befriend women for their personal sexual desires, and not because they genuinely like the person, i have multiple female friends, i don't talk to them for some hidden motive, i talk to them because they are funny and we have a lot in common, if by some chance i were to develop feelings for one of them and they say no, I'm not going to discard them from my life, just because you can't get into someone's pants doesn't mean you should start ghosting them, if you truly valued them as a human being, you would still want them in your life regardless.
Nice people don't lash out just because they have been rejected, nor do nice people who are worth dating revenge-post their rejection messages online to further humiliate someone.
liked the video, although it was pretty depressing. nice guys are the bane of my existence. one thing i wanted to note was that i felt uncomfortable with your (as well as the posts') use of the term "more than friends", because i think romantic/sexual relationships aren't more than friendships necessarily but are just something different, although maybe it bothered just little aroace me. either way the video was great like all of your videos. thank you. i am an anomaly
Maybe people say "more than friends" because friendship is the foundation of healthy romantic relationships? Like, relationship = friendship + additional stuff? I came up with this off the top of my head, totally spitballing, could be very wrong.
I personally hate when people say "just friends." I feel like it disparages the friendship and the people in them, like it's a lowly connection, nothing worth caring about or even acknowledging. People can't live a healthy life without friends, but absolutely can without a committed romantic partner
as a kinkster I find it genuinely horrifying how many vanilla men try to push their supressed DS fantasies on unconsenting women. It is disgusting!
I think it’s so sweet that you keep saying “romantic interest” or “romantic feelings” when describing what these men feel entitled too. And I’m not being sarcastic. You are genuinely kind by giving them the benefit of the doubt that what they want from these women is more then just sex (even if it includes sex).
However I am more cynical and believe all they want is sex. Or sex plus any one way relationship gestures they can get like words of affirmation or acts of service. Sex, compliments, dates to the office party looking hot to be shown off, and maybe a home cooked meal.
But I don’t think romance has anything to do with it. 🤷♀️😬😂
I Had a guy be my freind for 2 years and one day he just tuned randomly around and said he liked me all that time and when I turned him down (as I was still figuring out my identity) he never talked to me again. 2 years of a frankly amazing friendship meant NOTHING to him. 😭
"I'm an anomaly" took a few tries, even more due to not being a native speaker. XD
“I’m in college. I have a 4.0” - Cool
“I work out every day and am physically attractive” - you don’t need to say that. If it’s true, then your pictures will say that for you.
“I have hobbies” why not just talk about your hobbies?
“I understand finance and real estate and can provide a future” that’s not the flex you think it is. Women can also understand finance and real estate and work for their own futures.
And then the rest of his turd filled rant really hammered the last nail in the coffin. The dude basically made himself undateable.
The holiday one , there is a very easy way to stop straight guys like it that.
Ask them do they find one of their male friends attractive, when they say no. Asked them again, saying well they are attractive, they treat you well how come you're not attracted to them . They say im not gay im not in to that.
But would you not give them a chance?
No .
Then explain this is how i feel when you are talking to me , it doesn't matter what you do , how you act or who says you're attractive. I just don't see you in that way. Because Attraction isnt something personally. Its normal an automatic thing.
Like im a gay guy, i tend to get this" masculine" type men hit on me online, guys that others do find attractive. But personal i find fem and cute more attractive.
Now when it comes to treating people right that is literally the bare minimum you do in a friendship never mind a relationship. Ive never understood that.
I do blame tv and moives from the 90s that put this idea that treating a women right, buying her gifts or talking her out for dinner automatically entitled the guy to action. I think they got date and escorts mixed up.
I tried to say “I am an anomaly,” but ended up saying “I an annonnonono…” I think my brain broke along the way. 😅
I wish there were eggs with other pride flags for pud the pride dino cuz I would love a dino plush with a bi flag
The cartoon post hit a tiny bit close to home for me. I'm a bi-romantic & ace woman who is attracted more to woman than men yet despite this I've had people tell me I just haven't decided yet & had a former friend repeatedly try to get with me despite me telling him repeatedly he was not my type. Also, without going into too many details, the other big red flag was that he didn't believe that ace or aro was a real thing & that those people just needed to find someone & that sex was necessary thing for everyone. Lastly there was the flat out homophobia that gay people didn't need to be allowed the right to marry because they could just get a certificate. Safe to say I no longer talk with that person
An anomaly indeed. I love a good alliteration! My favorites are from a children’s book/musical. Music by Carol King, script and lyrics by Maurice Sendak. The full movie is titled Really Rosie, and the song in question is A Alligators All Around. Really fun if you like this kind of thing!
shoutouts to all the transfems who were incel "nice guys" pre-transition. we really made it out
I just said "I am an anomaly" and I think my partner who overheard it is now very confused!
Much love! 🤗
"I am an anomaly" came out as "i am an anemone"
"I am an anomaly, hahaha, that’s fun to say"
- me just now
24:00 "that women aren't as horny or sexual as men"
there are plenty of women who are really horny and/or sexual! (and plenty of men who are not, don't project your experience on all men, man)
but see, here's the thing, many men seem to have a hard time telling the difference between 'being horny', 'feeling sexual', and 'acting predatory'
and women are left to deal with the consequences. making it hard to just be so non-chalante about your sexualness, as a woman dating men.
"I am an anomaly" - me out loud just now
I am an anomaly... I couldn't stop saying it 😂
In Dalek voice “I AM AN ANOMALYYYYYYYY”
14:32 valid as a kink, horrendous as a life choice
I'm an anemone!
SHOOT I SCREWED IT UP!!
I tried to say "I'm an anomaly" and instead ended up saying "I'm an anemone" and started quoting Finding Nemo
I may be an anomaly, but all of these make me feel like I need a shower.
People can be so weird sometimes. Let's do that more!
Nice is not the same thing as good. There are plenty of reasons to be rude. There's no excuse to be evil.
Not that guy trying to use the racist card because hes ginger. 😅 Sir we are not a race. Its just our hair colour... Yikes.
I am an anoma-nomaly... 🐡 (Nemo) That's where my head went.
These people are on thi(n ice guys) (funny joke haha)
I said "I am an anomaly" but it took me like 5 times before i could say it without stuttering over my words XD
it's giving severus snape trying to get lily to date him
Finally so early to a video, I always love Jamie's videos and I love the r/niceguys subreddit
Also genuine comment: I wonder if the trans egg is the joke that I think it is...
Omg samee
Oh, it never occurred to me but I think you're right about the egg!
The egg is absolutely the joke you think it is
If some attractive looking guy would come up to me with a colar in hand and dominantly asks me "I expect you to wear this tonight, If you want to." I probably would go with it.
My thesis is:
"I dont have taste in men, I have hunger!" ^^
How bad is it?
I said out loud "i am an anomaly" 😂
16:28 What has happened to the phrase 'Don't judge a book by its cover'? Oh, I have forgotten that they were banning and burning books again, in America.
I did say “I am an anomaly” and you were right. It is quite fun.
I feel physically ill.
"Why aren't women attracted to intelligence?"
Well that's a way of claiming all women are the same geez, like I actually am attracted to intelligence and I am sure I can't be the only one who is
I said “I am an anomaly” and I very much enjoyed it
I am an anomaly. You were right, it was really fun to say out loud…
I am an anemone. A nice anemone!
To quote The Princess Bride: you keep using that word [nice guy], I do not think it means what you think it means.
Such and amazing movie! You're awesome, and I hope you have a great day!
"You'll never find a man of my caliber." You mean she'll dodge all the bullets? Noice!
I see what you did there with your caliber and bullets pun.
"That's the point!"
No shot homie lmao
AAAAAAAA 😂😂😂😂
PFFFF 😂😂
I can’t remember where I saw it, but a quote I saw on Reddit perfectly sums up how I felt reading these:
“My legs closed so hard I’m now officially a mermaid” 🧜🏻♀️
HA! I'm gonna use this the next time people demand sex from me knowing I'm demisexual
That’s a super cute comment. Thanks for sharing! 🥰
WHAHAHAHA 😂😂
I want to like that multiple times!
_ketle noises_
I love how these dudes constantly cry about "gold diggers" but yet they try to use money and "status" to pick up women.
These guys will literally insist on paying at a nice restaurant and then call the girl a gold digger when she doesn't sleep with him after. They use it as both a bargaining chip to buy sex and as an out for taking responsibility for their behavior. Guys like that seem convinced that a relationship is just prostitution with extra steps. That it's just "spend enough money and sex comes out" and if you tell them that's not how it works, they go on an Andrew Tate rant and say you're lying.
@@RiveroftheWither yeah you're just lying and using them for a free meal. I've come across a few guys like this so if a guy agressivly insists or seems super bothered by my offer to pay for my own stuff, I call it off. Like they can pay or want to pay but if I'm like "Nah, all good. I got my way," and they get upset, like angry or pouty for real, I just check out. Like ask the waitress of there is a separate table I can move to for myself. I'm hungry and want to eat but I've decided it would be best to eat alone. (And I love a nice quiet meal out by myself, so it's no embarrassment to me.)
They see all sexual relationships as transactional. If they don’t have money and can’t get sex they get mad at the purely transactional system they’ve invented in their own heads and blame women for it. And if they do have money and don’t get sex they get mad at women for not conforming to their imaginary system.
Gold...lurers?
@@RiveroftheWitheralso do not forget, that they ALSO complain, when a woman insists on paying her own meal, because then she does not appreciate his manliness....
Many years ago my husband was in a band with a guy who considered himself “a nice guy”. One evening he was complaining about women. He then said “I HATE shallow chicks” (yes, he called women “chicks” which is a pretty good indication of his mentality). He continued….”I hate shallow chicks AND fat chicks!” We all just stared at him dumbfounded. 🤦🏻♀️
They all judge women who dare to have standards and then hate overweight women for just existing
Men who call women chicks are almost as bad as the ones who casually call us bitches.
@@TheWerewolfOfNorway-mf5jz Idk what news your hearing about, but trans people are usually the ones being targeted, not the other way around.
I mean chicks do tend to be shallow. Their brains aren’t very big. They usually tend to think only of themselves, and they’ll fight other chicks just to get what they want. The only time they care about others is when they are nursing their babies. They are especially mean around food. I’ve seen some chicks fight over watermelon and try to peck each others eyes out. I mean chickens really are just vicious little birds sometimes!
…Oh wait, were you talking about women?
@@Clay_sloth Yes! Chickens are tiny velociraptors they won't hesitate to eat each other
I think these dudes played too many dating simulators that they forgot humans are 3 dimensional beings.
imanananamoly
Truth. People are vast, chaotic, complex beings! And I love it. If no one has told you today. You are amazing, and I am proud of you! Keep it up!
@@frolikswfroggys6416
Thank you! 😊
Imagine if romantic options in video games had a chance to reject you based on your actions or personality. Might be a good medium to teach some lessons 😅
yeah, the thing about those is that the game gives you options and you can either succeed or fail.
irl no one handing you anyone and humans are far more complex than correct/incorrect superficial speech bubble.
but somehow I feel like they still wouldnt manage to finish those games without looking up a guide.
"I'm boring but I have money" is just about the MOST unattractive pitch for dating lmao
It pisses me off so much how much music has gotten popular this side of 2000 on JUST that sentiment, of having money ergo hot.
@@christopherb501music before that time often was about love in a predatory way if you look closely, so not exactly better
unless you are doing the dating professionally and are looking for a sugar daddy, then it's a match!
Yeah if my 4-star dinner comes with a side of Lecturing About Crypto I'm just gonna order some Domino's and watch Netflix by myself, thanks
"I am attractive"--ironically, I like scrawny guys, so him saying "I am attractive" probably means I'd find him ugly. Nobody is universally attractive. I think Brad Pitt is fairly ugly even though all my friends have drooled over him. Just not my thing (and I even PREFER beardless pretty boys in the first place.)
When my little sister and I were teens, we'd often just go driving around at like 3am on a Saturday or something. We'd sometimes go to stores, and the amount of times that GROWN MEN would approach her and not back down when she said she was 16 was absurd. She's always put value in being as put together as she can be, so she's gotten a lot of unwanted attention from creeps over the years. And no one would respect when I'd step in and tell them to fuck off, so I often had to threaten to inflict pain upon these weirdos. At some point, a guy asked if we were lesbos, my sister said yeah (thinking that'd get him to go away) and this guy proceeds to tell a 16 year old how he could "fix" her. I threatened to castrate him in that Walmart if he didn't walk away right then. Almost all of these men made comments about how they're nice, a catch, and/or know how to treat a woman right any time I'd yell at them. Any guy who says he's nice is not, in fact, nice. That's the kind of person you need to get tf away from.
Im so sorry,thats s harassment...
Jesus that's terrifying! Sorry you had to go through that.
Did you mean 3pm?😅
Are you okay?
No
Genuenly
ARE YOU OKAY
SHOULD I CALL THE AUTHORITIES THATS FKN SEXUAL HARRASMENT I CANT BELIEVE NO ONE HELPED YOU BOTH OUT OF THIS SITUATION ARE YOU OKAY SHOULD I CALL A THERAPIST????
Jamie is a nice guy. Like an actual guy who is nice 😊
agreed
He is just about the nicest guy ever, agreed. And it seems to come from the heart too.
He's wholesome. He's also not convincing cishets that they aren't.
Jamie is a guy
@@KateWick1997yes
I always laugh when someone’s like “everyone calls me racist just bc I’m white” or “everybody calls me sexust bc I’m a man” meanwhile Jamie is a white man and literally no one calls him racist or sexist….mayyyybee the guy in the reddit post said something racist and sexist
Yeah, if everyone's calling you racist and sexist, it might be time to stop and examine your own actions.
@@WombatMan64 It's like that age-old saying: If you think everyone around you is a butthole, you're probably the butthole... or at a Trump rally.
@@ladydarkness9642 or you work customer service. Poor people.
@@leunamreyo3663 Caitlyn Jenner is a horrible person. I don't give a crap that she's trans, that has nothing to do with it.
@@dustygania2425 Jamie is not misogynistic your the one that's misogynistic and transphobic
The ship dynamic of "friends-to-lovers" is my jam (including its variant "enemies to friends to lovers"), but that doesn't mean EVERY pairing has to turn romantic after some magic time limit.
If you want to be romantic with someone, just COMMUNICATE your intentions early on, unless feelings change later, but if they do change, be honest and direct.
Acting friendly with some secret intentions? That's some predator shit.
Exactly! Just say it FFS Why people find talking to another human being so difficult?
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who sees that this type of manipulative behavior is predatory. It's both cringe reading the "nice guy" messages and fr scary.
You are speaking real truth and facts
I actually married my best friend 25+ years ago. Couldn't be happier. Interesting note, he NEVER claimed to be a "nice guy", he was just himself.
Yeah I like pining...in fiction. Not in real life. Especially when it's mutual pining. A+ trope. But in real life it's just sad.
Just stop thinking that you are owed everything. That is the privilege talking. -Jamie, 2023
When I came out in college I got the "but youre so feminine" stuff SO OFTEN that I ended up doing panels for my human sexuality class. She'd have people of all different sexualities up there & people had to guess who was who. I ALWAYS brought a dress & heels to school with me to really play up the feminine. I was determined to break stereotypes & had a couple younger women tell me that I helped them start to figure out their sexuality because they also thought lesbians had to be "masculine" 😮 its wild to me that almost 20 years later & people still think the same thing!
Thank you very much for stepping up to the incredibly difficult task of working against homophobic AND sexistic misconceptions. A lot has changed, but unfortuately, ppl are also equipped with VERY protective brains, who'll fight for dear life over mainaining the integrity of whatever assumptions ppl have. Cause giving up that safety could totally wreck their pyche. A lot of people are relatively frail AND overwhelmed and it's the only way their brains knows to keep them safe.
That said, media is frequently still not helping. It's gonna get better when it starts to get normalized to have all sorts of ppl in shows, without ridingold tropes to the death :'D Like the "lesbians gotta be masculine" one. Give it a bit more time. Most young ppl now are SOOOOO much better at this. But these habits take a bunch of generations to really get re-learned!
Same energy as "you should make yourself look more masculine so gay guys don't feel drawn to you, because if there's one thing gay men aren't into, it is... manlyness?" ( incorrectly quoted from an osp video)
@@rabanryssel137stranger in s strange land eyyyyy
@@malaksafa4074 THAT'S the one!
to make matters worse, here in the Bible belt our nice guys are often "Born Agains". Guys who pray every minute of the day but are at the core of their beings are the nastiest, most misogynistic, and, often, the most racist and all around worst haters you'll ever meet. I know humans screw up every religion but it's like these guys go out of their way to prevert Jesus' most basic teachings.