@@geraldbruce840 Hi Gerald!!!! I wish there were more people like you here in NZ... love the way you simply call it a spade a spade....not being sulk or passive aggressive like so many people here are often... Have a good one!!
Bet...I would love this country much more if there were more people like you who can see things more clearly and objectively & accept flaws or imperfections more humbly. Have a good one!
@@neversayneveragain3748 there are plenty of us in NZ Slava who can accept the imperfections, but we are most likely not as noisy about it as the indignant ones.
@@darrenyoung4509 i know what you are saying! And unfortunately that passive aggressive and standoffish vibe is the one I have been feeling about NZ since I came here only 2 years ago.
1) To be fair to us, no country's citizens take criticism of their homeland well. I do agree with you on Watties sauce though, there are far better options available. 2) We don't mind issues being sorted, we just prefer they were sorted quietly. That does limit progress with some serious problems because some people use that preference to hide from those problems. 3) Americans are unnecessarily over-stressed. But we're not that laid back either. 4) No arguments there. We are being ripped off everywhere. We pay export prices for food etc. and stupidly high import prices. As for land, there are environmental & economic reasons against outward expansion. 5) No. No, they're not too easy. It can look that way though. We have a very dark side to our culture. The scars of past trauma run deep and we are reluctant to talk about them.
@@Kiwiamericans Not that much of an outsider now shes experienced our ways and become one with our culture, except for the watties incident. I know id be proud to call you a fellow kiwi so keep up the good work aunty!
As an Aussie, yes we do have a "laid back" culture in many ways, but we also have a sense of entitlement that leaves Kiwis in the dust, we are entitled on steroids. Not everyone of course, but a strong vein runs through our culture and we explode when our sense of entitlement is threatened in any way, then we are definitely not so laid back! I don't find Kiwis entitled comparatively, because Kiwis are more known for finding a solution creatively, even if disgruntled about situation. We Aussies are much more likely to be sooks about whatever it is.
Good points. I also think that in some ways, Australia is more conservative than NZ. I know that most Aussies think it’s the other way around! This might be the influence of a large number of Australians who descended from conservative European and Middle Eastern countries and the values they brought with them have been incorporated into society.
@@drayner2517 Conservatism in Aus has grown significantly over time, although I am unsure migrant people were a big influence. Most migrants experience racism and discrimination, which can challenge conservative beliefs. Agree Aus is way more conservative than NZ. Would prefer to just become the west island of NZ if it was up to me 😉
From NZ 🇳🇿: Are you sure it's roids, and not Tooheys Blue and XXXX!? LOL... Fuk..as a kiwi.. did I even spell that right 🙄!? As a kiwi it spells "State of Origin! NSW! NSW!NSW!
Haha! I laughed so hard while watching this 😅as a Kiwi that pre-pandemic spend 2-3 months of the year in the USA, you totally nailed it with describing New Zealand as a non-confrontational country and America being a country that has a culture of directly asking for what you want, and it's one of the biggest differences between our cultures.
I often hear that Americans have problems with German directness, but if New Zealanders find Americans too direct, what do they think about Germans in this respect? ;)
@@xxearlgreyxx_ I'm straight forward and vibe well with Americans, but even then I find German's can be abbrasive and annoying at times lol. I still love em though, at least Germans have many great traits that make up for it. White kiwis would no doubt take a strong dislike towards Germans due to the abrasiveness but also cos they're petty af and are still pressed about WW2. Maoris should be chill, they vibe well with me but they seem to dislike the local "pakeha" which, tbh, theres not much to like lol.
You are spot on with this assessment. However, in regards to the suicide statistics, this may also be coupled with our horrid child abuse and spousal abuse statistics. I was brought up in a toxic, abusive home. This is something that I believe can lead to many issues within families and society. It can raise narcissistic child, broken children, suicidal children, and bullying children. The bully at school is likely to be bullied at home. The behaviour is learned. We need to give children the ability to know what abuse is and give them a safe environment for them to talk about it. In a number of cases, this is not home. We are deluding ourselves into believing homes are the safest place for children. There is one thing I have noticed - Kiwi do not like us talking about our abuse and many families keep it all hidden away, for fear of "airing the families dirty laundry in public". Thank you for your videos! I always enjoy them.
Thanks for mentioning that Alan. There needs to be a balance I guess. I feel that America has "dealt with it" but they're on another extreme over in that country where ppl express themselves to a point where u can shoot a person if u don't like them...because guns are so readily available. So yeah in a way no one is perfect but a good start may go a long way to change things....Good wishes!
@@jennyiuslol what?! Half our country is full of psychotic gun toting trumpians that have no problem murdering anyone not like them. And the other half of us are normal. Don't judge us on thr bad apples please
Hello. Um, 'No corrupt government'? We live in a country with a UN Agenda pinned to its forehead. Farmers have been trampled on for decades, euthanasia and abortion and 'pride' are paid for by your tax dollar and we have had an unelected 'prime-minister' for years, the roads are 'third world' because the government trashed the rail system, and unelected Mr Hipkins just raised petrol ostensibly to pay for those roads, 'but wait, there's more!' Kyrie eleison.
No genocide 🤔what you think landless diffrent cultured people running the goverment are doing,Trying to genocide us native indigenous maori peoples with a pen paper & word's & our TREATY was & is wirh the ENGLISH
I agree with everything you say, Tara. However nowhere is 'perfect' there are 'pros and cons' all over the world. I came here from UK nearly 60 years ago and for me, even with its problems, New Zealand is paradise! This is HOME. I enjoy all your videos, you could increase the gain on your audio though please..
My parents brought me in 2005 just as I started high school, I found the transition quite difficult probably because of my age, i lived in napier for 10 years and now wanaka for 6 years and absolutely love my life. Never going back to the uk.
We have laws around hiring and firing here in New Zealand. It takes 5mins to employ someone- it takes 9months to get rid of them. If we try to fast track getting rid of a bad employee, we will end up in the employment courts. Ignorance of our employment laws is not an excuse to sack someone early, unless it’s a matter of thief, racism, sexism, or religious belief, as examples. Even then an employer has to have confirmed evidence that there is clear evidence of this. Verbal warnings can not be entered on an employees record, written warnings are. Retraining has to be given as well in an effort to improve an employees work performance. It is only when all the correct boxes have been ticked that an employer can then terminate a work contract. Employees also have the right to sue an employer as well if they feel they have been unfairly treated in the work place. So if you think our management is been to lenient with one of the workers, it could be for a multitude of reasons- unfair dismissal can end up costing the company tens of thousands in a court case or tribunal hearing.
I went into this video a tad hesitant (passive aggressive 😂) but having watched the whole thing I agree with EVERY point you’ve made! In fact I have voiced most of them! You have put across your point most graciously and I hope that nobody comes for you in the comments - a very thought provoking video! ❤️
Nah too divisive. She could help us by discussing this evil spreading here and in Aussie right now (and is speeding up since Obama's visit last week to Aussie. ua-cam.com/video/_NK9xgzdTp0/v-deo.html
You are totally right. New Zealanders do not handle criticism or confrontation easily. As a person who has lived in 5 different countries and cultures, I can testify everything you mentioned about the suicide rate, the bullying in NZ is so high one has to brace himself in order to survive in this kiwi society.
This is the same with many in most countries. You’ve no idea how many Americans will tell you to shut up and go home if you think anything is wrong with America. Its universal.
I'm not a Kiwi, however I'm an extremely proud and happy Expat. I'm sure you are quite right about some of your experiences in Godzone, I totally agree Kiwis are definitely indirect rather than direct which most Americans seem to be! I'm basing my comments on personal experience of both cultures. I have negative memories of my time in the USA, in particular the total lack of politeness when dealing with conflict resolution. I'm sure that is not Countrywide in the USA, but oh dear, the stress levels I observed with the population I ran into, left me speechless at times lol.
Good on you Tessa for sincerely making my home yours, unlike those who come here, we give them a chance and they think they're entitled to criticise our way. America is pushing their evil agenda on us and Aussie right now anua-cam.com/video/_NK9xgzdTp0d/v-deo.html I don't see any videos about this with these "Kiwiamericans"?
“Yeah, Nah.” Equals passive aggressive. So yes, we are passive aggressive. Wat ties is a good sauce, but others are good options. Our sausages are very bland. Unless you buy artisan types from an actual butcher. We are laid back. But that’s not a negative to us as we don’t mind. Yes. The housing market is mental. Totally agree. As to food production vs cost to ourselves. There are complex reasons, it is crazy, you are right. Our suicide/depression rates and the resources to deal with it is our biggest social injustice. You are right. You are not off base. Thanks for the feed back.
There is quite a serious problem with bullying here in schools and workplaces. It's just so frustrating that there's not really much that can be done. Lots of good points that I think would do some of us a lot of good to reflect upon 👍
My personal feeling is if the parents cannot control there child for bullying then that child should be expelled east as that yes New Zealand is good for Bully in Schools and the school knows the bullying is happening and they turn a blind eye.
People are bully’s because others tolerate it. One sure fire solution is to double up your fist up and bust the asshole right in the mouth. Settled!! Your welcome.
After 15 years of living in Nz - originally from Guernsey. You nailed with the passive aggression, overly sensitive mentality. There is also another situ - the alpha feminist movement going on that’s very toxic. I had a leave on account of the alpha feminist bs that went on in the work place, flatting eta. in my case film. They. Get. Away. With. Murder the way that some women treat each other in Nz is appalling. It took a lot to leave but the fem gate keeping honestly! something has to be done about this female aggression. A lot of stuff I know but that’s what comes up from watching. I’m very glad for the frank yet conscientious outlook.
As a born and bred kiwi who has lived overseas for many years, I agree with you in most you said. Especially about how things are not discussed. I constantly trip over the rug in my family of origins presence, there is so much been swept under there. We are expected to ‘toughen up’ , handle it and get on with it. Something I have always loathed about our culture, rather shut you down than discuss. Love your channel and hope all your fam are great. 🇳🇿🇺🇸🙏
Do definitely agree with most of your points and thanks for sharing your perspective 😊 the only thing I disagree with is the "It being too easy": cost of housing, subtle micro-agressions and tall-poppy syndrome are all reasons why suicide/mental well-being here is very poor. Easiness is not one
I'm a kiwi, I don't mind criticism about it here. But I know plenty of kiwis who like to believe we are the bees knees and untouchable, kinda the way most Americans do 😆
I have seen the way Americans often don't realise they're coming across as rude. They are a people that feel free to speak their mind. One I worked with here in Australia, and caught the train to work with, would 'wax lyrical' on any subject on the train (and not in hushed tones!). You could feel the disapproval coming from other passengers!
I've lived in NZ my entire life, and I agree with all of your points. I think there is a level of insecurity and internalising criticism that then expresses itself in different ways within the community. I think it does cause problems honestly.
As a south american (Argentinian) That lived in NZ for about a year, I can say that we definitely feel that everything is too easy there. Compared to the struggles that we have to go here it's incredibly easy, and that can certainly take its toll. I don't think it works just by itself, cause when everything is easy and you are just bored, then third party agents come into play, like addictions, or any way to create excitement. But all in all, this is the reason we strive to migrate there, beacuse you can just live better, happier.
This was great content. All very salient points that we would do well as a culture to wrestle with. I would add two thoughts. Pakeha culture particularly is not good at conflict and dealing openly with issues. Maori and Pacifica cultures have better frameworks for having courageous conversations IMO eg Talanoa. Second, your points are absolutely true for Aucklanders but I think we are used to more criticism from our South Island friends Eg JAFA. Sometimes it’s a joke but sometimes you know it’s true. We tend to be more open to the downsides of Auckland life and talking about it but after watching your video I might need to critically reassess that 😁. Great video. Thank you.
Nailed it! Good video and you have identified cultural aspects and traints of us kiwis. The sensitivity I think is "youngest children" sydrome - being a small country next to Aystralia probably is in part the blame. I lived in Australia fo rthree years and not a day went past (icluding Christmas) when some Aussie didnt slag off NZ. I wonder if Canada has the same trint being next to the USA?? In fact I think your video is so good it could be used as a teaching aide for students to discuss Kiwi cultural norms. Pat on back!!
I have to say, the only time I've seen kiwis getting ribbed (in Australia) is when it's clear they can't take it. Pisstaking is a big part of the Australian sense of humour and everyone loves a sensitive 'victim'.
@@howlsatdesertmoon9840 One has also noted, having lived in Australia, Aussies are are far better at giving it than taking it. On the flip side, overseas its a case of Oi! You can't pick on my kiwi mate. Thats MY job!!! When it really counts, we have each others backs.
@@stuchatterton6550 Yep! We're all better dishing it out than taking it. But we're bound by geolocation, history and tradition. We're one in that. Can't imagine any Australian who wouldn't fight in defense of NZ.
@@shayjohnson5830 it’s also interesting because I don’t feel there’s much tension between the US and Canada. Americans affectionately refer to Canadians as the friendly neighbor. Any criticism of Canada usually comes from extremist Republicans (like Trump) who might refer to them as socialists for political clout.
Thank you for an interesting perspective, especially given your fears of a negative reaction. I'm British but with family in NZ. Having visited but not lived there, I cannot comment personally on most of your points, though I have met numerous Kiwis (and Aussies) over the years. I note, however, that some traits are shared with Britons, unsurprising given that both Oz and NZ were offshoots of Britain, eg, avoidance of confrontation, passive aggression. But they have also evolved differently, eg. the tall poppy syndrome. Also, living at the heart of great empires (economic in the case of the USA), Britons and Americans can be annoyingly arrogant but also, as the target of much criticism, develop a remarkably thick skin, absent in other nationalities. As Britain's role in the world has diminished, our need to constantly prove ourselves has also reduced and we, too, have become more relaxed though not to the extent of the Antipodeans. Unlike Americans, we now work to live, not live to work.
Totally on point about tall poppy syndrome. Being a kiwi who has lived in Australia for over 10 years too, tall poppy is alive and thriving. It’s year round too, not seasonal at all. I bought a beautiful V8 in Aussie which I brought back to NZ. I get hassled on the road every time I take it out in both countries. Tall Poppy. Got to say though, Aussies not so good at rugby but they sure can build V8s and make awesome music to play in them. Are you hearing AC/DC ‘Highway to Hell.’ 🇺🇸🇳🇿🇦🇺🇬🇧
@@darrenyoung4509 oooooook, sounds like you know a lot about cults. I don’t know how to do the Haka, so not sure about that one. Cheers bro, for the giggle. You stay safe now, you hear. ✊
@@darrenyoung4509 100% agree with that. Gentleness is definitely not a kiwi trait. Coming from an abusive malignant narcissistic family background, where the enabler was Canterbury Regional Manager of Westpac by day but a child abuser by night and was able to hide it and shame my sister and I for our sensitivity because they had money, I understand this all too well. No disrespect was meant to you my friend. ✊
This was so good! Thank you! I’ve been watching your videos for a while and waiting for this one. As an American who has lived outside of the U.S. (but not in New Zealand) it can be really interesting to see how culturally different we are from other countries when it comes to being direct and assertive. I know I have rubbed some people the wrong way at networking events just by being direct about making a connection and I think I am more laid back and polite than the average American. I can see how that would cause some culture shock. I was also really surprised living in Canada how similarly insecure they were about the U.S. It reminded me of little brother vs. big brother and there was absolutely no reason for it. Amazing country. My husband likes to tell me the story about not being able to get kiwi fruit while in New Zealand because it was too expensive for locals and that was 30 years ago! There are no perfect countries or people and certainly you will find that the housing market in the U.S. is outrageous right now too. We have an incredible housing shortage in the U.S. and people are buying houses completely sight unseen. Anyway, I still can’t wait to visit NZ and think it’s a near perfect country but thanks for sharing your perspective!
@@Kiwiamericans I am actually just south of the Canadian border in Montana. My best friend is moving to NZ next year (her husband has an entrepreneurial visa) so hoping to travel to visit then. Thanks again for your videos! She watches them too.
I know this isn't going to go over too well but I suspect that the critism itself is generally not the problem but because it's you who says it and because you are an American you can expect to cop far more than say a Swedish person, or an Indian or Japanese person. Kiwis historically have an unfavorable view of the United States and Americans not applied to many other nations. Americans are usually seen to be quite obnoxious, rude, showboaty and have a superiority complex that they must be the greatest nation in the world, so often when an American says something about New Zealand people will kind of roll their eyes and sigh or get angry because the person saying the thing is already looked at as stuck up and rude. This is especially true of the white, wealthy religious and evangelical demographic. Because of all the news around American politics white Baptists are seen to be a wee bit racist, biggoted, angry, nasty and preachy etc especially Republicans. I know this is likely unfair on your character but I would say you are probably disproportionately critisied for the perception of your predisposed attitude, religion, origin and other demographic traits as opposed to some other things.
Not sure the kiwi attitude towards Americans doesn't also apply to Australians. Many Kiwis I've met seem obsessed with disliking Australians. Australians, for our part, barely talk about NZ.
@@howlsatdesertmoon9840 yeah I never understood that but the difference between kiwi attitudes towards Australia and the US are usually somewhat that 'hating' aus is more of a joke we don't actually but just like to say it 😅 with Americans it's felt a lot more on a personal level
@@howlsatdesertmoon9840 I totally agree with what you're saying...I'd always heard friends talk about Americans that way but watching this video I think what they said is true...
Omg the amount of meals that I just end up thinking yep I paid to throw that away! … and then just proceed to boycott them for 2 months. Countdown stopped my partner from buying alcohol because my license is expired, haven’t been back since- that was at least half a year ago. I have been shopping at four square since, great service ! Haha ps. That last segment , so true.
I do complain about bad service and food etc. If they get any item on my order wrong I send it back. I had Thai meal delivered a few days ago and one item was missing when it arrived. I phoned and complained and the manager herself delivered it to me. My sister once got appalling service in a brand new 5 star hotel. The fruit basket in her room was full of rotting fruit complete with fruit flies . They got her order wrong in the restaurant more than once and the food was awful but very expensive, and when she complained she got attitude and faces made at her instead of an apology. So when she was checking out and paying her bill there was a slot to add a tip.......she wrote in that slot "Not Applicable", Hahahahahahahaha! And when she gets rude disinterested service in shops she smiles broadly and says "Keep on smiling"! LOL
@@juanitarichards1074 Unfortunately that attitude is becoming so very much the norm these days ... all trained by accountants without marketing skills.
Thank you for being brave enough to put across your perspective. I agree with the 5 you cited👍🏻, but have a different way of understanding them. I'm a born and lived kiwi, traveled the world, worked and managed in corporate and non corporate, owned my own business, written books, been in high level negotiations etc etc.. My perspective of life is determined by how I look out at the world. My life experiences have given me a specific lens of understanding, which creates my lens of perspective. So how I see things, is due to my understanding of what I am seeing, the same goes for everyone. What do we understand of the situation? There are deeper, older reasons for the way we or any nation is now, which is different to the way we were 50 years ago and then different again 25 years ago. As generations unfold, changes come about, not always good, but nonetheless still a good opportunity to learn from. As the world scene changes, so too again we change via the unfolding generations, to assimilate into that world scene. One thing I would add is, compassion and kindness can often be mistaken for weakness, but that depends on the observers perspective and understanding. To find out how once successful Johnny, became a homeless drunk, we can look at his life experiences for some answers. So too we must do for all things. It may not make for good UA-cam content though, sorry. Thank you Tara, always love your inspiring content. 🌺
Elah - thanks for sharing this! I agree with you that the lens you see life through matters. Perspectives can change drastically when looking at the same thing. I appreciate you taking the time to comment!
Honestly I think 1&2 are very much related. For some reason the majority of Kiwi's have a crisis of confidence. Often extremely competent but just don't know it. To address problems or criticism openly and directly you have to have a degree of confidence in yourself and generally speaking we don't seem to have it, hence the sensitivity and shying away from conflict. This is also probably why we don't have a lot of hussle when it comes to getting what we want/deserve, again you need the 'I'm worth it, I can do it' attitude to push through. As I'm sure you're aware lack of achievement and no confidence are the perfect breeding grounds for mental health problems. Anyways as sad as these things are, awareness can be the start of change, so thanku for your video. Tena koe, e hoa!
I'd bet uber-egalitarianism has a lot to do with it. It's a great ideal but, like all ideals, the closer you get to them, the greater the cost... e.g. If everyone's equal, then no one can be greater than anyone else. The tall poppy syndrome is a thing in Australia too.
I'd argue that while our youth suicide rate is the worst in the world, our overall rate is far better than the like of the USA and Australia. What this tells me is that rather than lack of achievement and no confidence being breeding grounds for mental health problems, it's really poor mental health education and lack of hope for the future that's killer here. The laid back thing seems to suit us fine if we can survive into adulthood.
@@telprydain1 well...I kinda know what you are trying to say...but in my opinion, a lot of negative traits are deeply rooted in narcissistic(*we live in paradise) and toxic(*tall poppy syndrome and passive aggressiveness etc) traits of NZ
I think that the comments here reflect that the major problem is one of glib generalizations - descriptions of 'a national character' rely too much on stereotypes derived from the media, rather then real life inter-personal relations and the level of experience that any individual has. For instance, as an Australian-born individual who grew up, and was educated for at least half my early life In the USA, I know well the common perception of Americans being excessively loud and aggressive, and yet remember them being for the most a kind and generous people, and a far less obnoxious bunch than my fellow Australians. Also I have had many Kiwi friends who were also a a great bunch! Unless of course you get to talking about sport - don't mention Cricket unless you're prepared to take a drubbing about under-arm bowling and cheating being an integral part of the Australian character. But I guess what I'm saying is that there is a grain of truth in all of our mutual perceptions about what we observe about other peoples; so it might be better to acknowledge the fact that we all are human - none of us are perfect - and to concentrate on the positives, and move on! Best Wishes to all from Sydney, DSW.
I'm an Aussie who lives in NZ. I've definitely had some odd looks when I say I'm not into cricket or rugby. And by that I mean, I could not name one of the current team members.
As a Kiwi who lived in the States for 14 years before returning home to raise my family....I couldn't agree more with what you've said. Before someone can comment I think it should be expected that the person have lived in both countries for an extended time before passing comments....
As a kiwi, I agree with everything you said, actually more than your positive ones!!! I'm impressed with how brave you posting this video as we are super sensitive. These things are so engraved in us that until someone points them out most would totally deny that this is true and just consider others to be rude. How I wish confrontation wasn't so frightening to us, honestly it's ridiculous at times and I'm extremely guilty of avoiding it. Thanks for your honesty!!!
Kia Ora from another Amerikiwi who's been here since 2010. I just came across your channel recently. I found some of your insights interesting and well done for saying it out loud because they're not wrong. Criticism about kiwi stuff - I think the Wattie's example is a little light because we all have our favourite tomato sauces ;), but apply that idea to a wider context such as politics, culture, diversity, social-economic, business hegemony and you got something there. I think we are trying harder to deal with these more openly and kindly, but it get framed with "this is how we do it". In a business context in particular, I see that issues are dealth with quietly and sometimes harmful. I'm not sure it's better because sometimes that quiet approach reveals a lack of experience, which many kiwis have if they stay at one job for along time or have not worked in a non kiwi situation (immigrant). I find that many just don't want to deal and eventually people with skills move on and happily so. I wish we could manage that better, but sometimes, it just seems "precious". Passive-Aggressiveness - I agree that you can find this here and I see it alot in business, in services especially in situations of hierarchy, patriarchy and ethnicity. I wish that was better among those that are older. I do find young people are more direct and unafraid of revealing their inexperience and bias more so than older people. I would add that I have to be patient and ask questions for kiwis to get to the point. I do think this is the yank in me that doesn't mind internal candor and external discretion. I feel sometimes that I've stepped back into the early 2000s but it's a work in progress. I had to come up with protocols to break through passive aggressive with being more open and vulnerable. Doesn't mean it works all the time or that I'm not affected. But it's my least favourite thing on your list. Laidback - I will push back that I find kiwis work with focus but are not afraid of saying "I'm not feeling well, I'm staying home", "I have to manage some personal stuff" as you pointed out with work life balance. What I would say though on "laidback-ness" is that there's unwritten trust to getting stuff done "better" without too much thought. I have worked in many situations where I'm amazed that people behave a certain way and it's ok (and for example, flirting on the job, "bully" type behavior, not meeting deadlines more effectively, thinking they know more than they really do, not leveraging people skills better for situations, making bad decisions and lots of gossip and list goes on). I agree with you however, that the laidback attitude is nice to deal with, and what I've done is to be more clear on what is needed and by when, yet trust people to meet that obligation in their way, which is a nice change. And also, I get the chance to learn some new approaches. Cost of Living - I tell people all the time, NZ/Aotearoa is nice if you can afford it because everything is spendy and it causes grief because of the inequality that no one wants to talk about. It can create segregation in communities. I would love to see how we do things to reflect solving this issue in a social democratic country. Since I've been here, everything has gotten expensive and I see more outcomes of poverty and shame. All I can do is vote with my pocketbook and my pen. NZ used to be quite independent with industry, but I thinking taxing food and exporting alot of their good stuff for cheap stuff is an uncomfortable problem. I don't like the real estate market. However, I don't think NZ is alone. It's bigger than our borders but it makes questionable policies. Too Easy - I would frame this with the laidbackness, common sense and kindess to approach things that probably could use more experience, more vim and vigor, but I know what you mean because I do the /facepalms too. I find more often than not, most people use what they have experienced to solve things because they lack the context. They think "it's all gonna work out" and make decisions based on that. But sometimes it make the creativity of trying something new a challenge. Something I think is missing in your list is the "We're too small" attitude to be noteworthy of notice and innovation. I don't know how many convos I have when I enquire 'why don't we....or how might we...' and to be told "we're too small" for the market cap. In 2018, the tech industry employed 6% of the workforce, generating 8% of the GDP and 9% of the exports (source MP Clare Curran) - all before COVID has made all of us work differently and I would expect this has gone up. How we handled COVID has been exemplar to other nations (even though we complain). We are not too small to show the rest of the world how our approach in life has positive outcomes. We just have to make leap of faith in our investment beyond accepting our size or cutting the tall poppies of opportunity. Cheers
Hi. I'm.a Kiwi living in Australia and agree with your five points, to the extent that I had to pause your video a couple of times because I felt somewhat confronted. It just goes to show, you can take the boy put of the country... And on reflection, much of what you said was why I left in the first place. Also - a secret I've found while Australia - Aussies aren't laid back in the least. It's just their shtick.
I've read about some of the issues you mention about NZ but they were never put in the context that you describe. I think your perspective as someone from the outside without the cultural conditioning of a native you see it for what it is! Great insights!
I think that most of your points were pretty valid, except the last one (yes, I notice the passive aggressiveness in my tone😋 ). I've known quite a few people who were lost to suicide. They did not have things too easy. They all had serious problems and were dealing with serious trauma. Our reluctance to deal with things head on is a major issue. At least these days we can openly talk about it, even if we do so reluctantly. When I was younger that was not allowed at all. The media would report an 'unexpected death' but couldn't actually say the word 'suicide'. If you want some actual statistics I suggest reading the reports from the Youth19 surveys. They were performed in schools throughout the country and included questions about mental health. It's very clear that the harder they have it, the more depressed they are. I want you to know that I'm trying to explain things because I'm not upset at you. I've watched several of your videos and you seem a genuinely nice person. I find it upsetting that there are people who actual think that having it 'easy' is the issue, but I think that just comes from you not having enough information about the situation. I actually really like watching your videos because you are so different from me. We come from very different walks of life and I don't really get to engage with people like you, so I quite like getting your take on things. People taking criticism badly and telling you to go back to America comes from us having short man syndrome. We're very aware of how far away we are from everything. When I was a kid we used to be years behind the UK and US when it came to TV programmes. We'd be behind in fashion and in music because it literally took longer for things to get to us. We're still getting over that which is why we can be a bit defensive. Tomato sauce is over rated. Sweet Thai Chilli is so much better.
I'd argue that while our youth suicide rate is the worst in the world, our overall rate is far better than the like of the USA and Australia. What this tells me is that rather than lack of achievement and no confidence being breeding grounds for mental health problems, it's really poor mental health education and lack of hope for the future that's killer here. The laid back thing seems to suit us fine if we can survive into adulthood.
The stats behind the fact as the 'worse off' Kiwis are impacted by suicide more in our society. Having lived in 4 other countries (now in my 30's) I can say that mental health and addressing it head on was not happening there either and dealing with mental issues head on was not happening. But why is it that countries like Argentina, Peru, Brazil (using the reference considering the fact this was discussed with a S.American in the video) have a lower teen suicidal rate than NZ AND will have a higher % of people living in worse conditions than a lot of the 'worse off' in NZ (talking % here and generalisations here, not specifics)? I think the video did not explain (she admits she was doing a bad job) quite what the South American and her think of 'we have it easy'. We as NZer's (generalisation) do not have the day to day challenges that are faced in most South American cities and communiteis, South East Asian countries and even African nations. We are not challenged (nor have to be) in our societal framework to 'fight' to make a living. We have safety and security nets that can help and prop up (for the most part) all kiwis to some extent. These SHOULD BE KEPT and they are SUPER IMPORTANT. However, does that security create a 'mental softness due to the easiness of life' because we are not being challenged externally, that when we are challenged internally (mental health wise) we have not developed mechanisms to rise up and help ourselves individually get out of that scenario. (Yes there are people that need external support. Agree that is fundamental, but would there be less individuals needing external support IF they had the mechanisms from past experiences to rise up and held themselves). Is there a need to help develop grit and mental resiliency in NZ, especially in the harder hit communities in schools BECAUSE this is not something that is needing to be developed in day to day life as much as some worse off countries? Do we need to find safe ways to allow young children to be challenged and pushed mentally so that when they truly face those issues they are capable enough to do so? If the external environment is not creating every day lessons and challenges to develop strength in resiliency and grit, then how do we artificially create it (like a mind gym) to prepare an individual better when that expertise is needed?
I too have lost too many to suicide (no immediate obvious pattern). One had personality disorder, one a highly successful, popular businessman, one a loner, two were gay. In each case I think they felt totally, totally alienated - I’ve thought about it a lot and think a perception of not belonging, having been excluded is part of it. Certainly does not excuse it though. Any society with a high suicide rate is failing
I agree with you, as a New Zealand teen myself I think lots of mental heath issues are not probably delt with. I have been lucky enough to be brought up in a very well of place in NZ but there are still people at my school with poor mental heath. Some of this is due to sexual assault that hasn’t been taken seriously or bullying. I have friends who have experience sexual assault and I (a gay teen) have been a victim of bully and was once even attacked at a beach by two girl. I also think this is an interesting video and I don’t wish anything bad on the maker, however I do think that since she hasn’t grown up here and also seems quite private as she would have had enough money to live here she might not understand the parts of NZ that aren’t so pretty and that are from younger perspective I am still a teen with a bit of learning to do but this is my perspective.
I applaud you for making this video. As kiwis we don’t want to look at the not so nice things. I also think it’s good for people overseas to know this is not paradise. There are a lot of not so great things here. As I tell people it’s amazing to be a tourist as you don’t see this.
Oh my goodness this video is SPOT ON!! As a Kiwi who has emigrated to the USA, I agree 100% with EVERYTHING you said. Americans are FAR less sensitive, WAY more direct and they 'deal with the problem and move on' . They are more confident, emotionally mature and more resilient. I love it!! I found ALOT of bullying behavior in the workplace in NZ. I do not experience that here in America. And yes most Kiwis are super sensitive and cannot handle criticism at all (including me 😆) I find Americans are more straightforward, not two faced..I work in a company of 200 people and not once have I witnessed any form of bullying or passive aggressiveness. This really made an impression on me. And I do not miss the cost of living in NZ!! It is absolutely ridiculous. I can buy a really nice house in this part of the USA (Southwest Virginia) for under $100,000. Eating out is waaay cheaper here too. Yes, NZ is a wonderful country, but it has its downsides like anywhere. The reaction I get from Americans is that NZ is this perfect paradise. In my personal opinion, living in the USA is much better. What you see is what you get here. The people are generally friendly, good people and the opportunities here are endless. So, whenever you are unhappy with where you live, and want to move countries, just remember nowhere is perfect. Btw...I buy NZ apples here at Walmart cheaper than I did in NZ. That's just sad!
Good for you man!!!! I cannot agree you more about what you said. I have been absolutely shocked by the difference between Americans or Europeans or Asians and the people of NZ
I came to NZ from the UK as a 14 year old and I'm still waiting for things to change in my old age. I think New Zealand is a young country still struggling to find its place in the world, but it is definitely getting better. There are a lot of Polynesian influences that are gradually changing too. Polynesians, not too far back, were brought up not to make eye contact for instance, which is an irritant in many other cultures in this country. I do notice it changing. And maybe that's it, a small country with many cultures. Who do you please? Some of the things you mentioned do annoy me still, someone holding down a job when there is someone so much more competent unable to get a job. On the other hand - Oh it's so tricky. Well said Tara.
I don't know how to explain this but I think the aversion to confrontation stems from the ability of the Maori culture to scalp their enemies. The culture has developed that it is safer for all to avoid passionate aggression which can trip into violence. People who try to force a culture to change to what they think they should be would create the exact same negative culture that caused the person to leave where they came from in the first place. Outsiders need to let countries develop at a pace that suits the culture.
Yup, we can be a touchy bunch. As a Kiwi, the two things I openly don't like is foreign people telling us that we have to change even though their country sucks. The other is, if they say anything negative about Aussies (only Kiwis and Aussies should mock eachother). Much like how if someone said something negative about your family member. You wouldn't take it would you?! Never been to Oz but I would defend it, even in war.
I don’t think an ‘easy life’ makes a person depressed. Depression is a complex mental disease . In addition New Zealanders have their challenges like people anywhere else whether they are financial or personal.
Honest criticism, is constructive criticism. Complacency should not be tolerated, a progressive society does not stop looking out for each other. I believe our laid backness comes from the Maori and Pacific Island cultures. They have shown us that, while hard work is very important, family and enjoying life is even more important. Life in NZ is too easy, is definitely an interesting talking point. The goal, I think, is to make our lives more challenging/purposeful, not nessasery harder, without having to go backwards and giving up our quality of life. As always, Massive Respect. 😀👍
Thank you for this video, I am kiwi and I've done a little traveling in the past, I'm not sure if these issues with people happen else where, so I can't comment on that, lol. I've struggled dealing with people most of my life, especially after leaving home and I've ended up back at home twice. I've always been a realistic, straightforward sort of person, but I'm also a down to earth, caring person and doesn't mind criticism (even thou' I have real bad anxiety and on the autism spectrum.) What I've learnt about some people here - they always have to 1 up you on something. They don't like it when you have a different opinion to theirs. They'll happily hurt your feelings (even when you're in the right). They get upset whenever you confront them about something. They are defensive over something stupid and cry about anything. They'll start made up rumours. They are vain. They are very nosy and want to know everything about your personal life. They'll change the subject to make it about themselves. They'll happily bully you and gaslight you. They believe anything they hear instead of observing - like my friends believed everything my ex was saying, meanwhile only ONE friend actually observed I was being physically abused by him. Oh and domestic violence is extremely bad here, the reason why you don't hear about it until it's too late, because some women like us are too afraid to speak up, for me I had death threats if I tried to leave him. Honestly, I wish I learnt to grow more of a backbone, because I've let people walk all over me, I've been taught "treat everyone with kindness and treat people how you want to be treated", yeah I did that, it doesn't work, mum and dad, thanks.
This made me really sad reading this. I already had a backbone and a strong sense of self when I moved there which ofc put a target on my back from day 1, but I can't imagine how hard it must be being born there and not know any different thinking this is just how things are. You have enough integrity to see through the b /s, so dont be hard on yourself, you're a decent human being compared to the riffraff around you. My experience was near identical to yours, yet you'll still get enabler kiwis in the comments denying this t0xic $hyt3. And they wanna blame the su1c1de rates on the cost of living, lmao delusional.
What I would really like is for you to do a specific video on doing business in NZ (which can also relate to Australia). The cultural differences in business, aggressive vs passive, sales cycles being longer, non-confrontational, The way you sell in the US will not necessarily work in NZ/AU. The need for US management to accept there are cultural differences that seriously need to be taken into account as part of the sales cycle. - I have been working for a Boston/NY software company for the past 2 1/2 years and they were used to a 3-month sales cycle. In Australia, it's 12-18 months and then you also have to factor in Covid. People in NZ and Australia also don't want to do demos at 8am in the morning...just to accommodate the US. The company is now going to pull out of having representation in this region next month because they are too frustrated with the sales process being slower. Such a shame, because their product is very much needed. I have spent so much time apologising when this is normal. I know you have a bunch of video's that touch on these topics, but I'd love to have a single business video, I could point US companies to for a clearer understanding.
True for Australians not wanting to align to US timezones! Also, cultural differences do need to be taken into account. That'd be the reason Starbucks failed in Australia.
@@howlsatdesertmoon9840 Yes, agreed. I even used the Starbucks example on my boss in NY last week. He does not get it. He is a Long Island New Yorker, who has hardly travelled outside the US.
@@Sydney4680 Tell him not to start up an American-style chain of coffee houses in Australia! Australians (and kiwis to, I'd bet) are self-conscious of copying Americans which is ironic, given that's subconsciously often what we do culturally!
Whaat? Who knew… haha. Well now after watching your video, I think you have pointed out some home truths Tara. I hope we’re getting mature enough to accept them and change for the better.
Love your channel! As an Aussie who loves NZ and New Zealanders, I do think as a nation NZ is a bit precious about their beloved ABs. I was in Keri Keri a few years ago when NZ was knocked out of the Rugby World Cup. The next morning NZ Herald front page was literally all black. But that's just a newspaper trying to boost sales. That night, we went to the local art house theatre to watch a great French film. Normally the cinema is packed, but there were only about a dozen people there. The proprietor came out and berated the nation for staying away from the film as a kind of boycott! Mind you, I also think Victorians take their AFL a bit too seriously. Gross generalisation, but hey whether it's rugby or Aussie Rules, it's just a game.
Hey man Love Aussies so much! As you point out, the difference between Aussies and kiwis is Aussies get loud for all night and day and get over it next day. In contrast, kiwis get sulky for next 1 month when they lose a game. Hahahahahaha .. funny but true
I really enjoy your channel, but this video is by far my favorite!! We can only improve the things we know about, so thanks for this. Great channel, by the way. ❤
NZ pride is enormous, making our way in the world where most people think we are too small to be important. Our tall poppy syndrome & passive aggressive nature is our British roots of carry on and don't show your feelings is a negative thing not a positive. It is changing slowly, our mental health system is not working cause of this problem. Everything in NZ is still colonial . Still a young county and my family has been here in NZ since 1842 pioneer settlers. Very expensive to live here. Agreed
Some fair points, but as someone who has worked customer service, there are plenty of people here who are far from laidback and definitely not afraid of confrontation over even minor things. A minority but they're out there.
As to your last point about things being too easy. I've lived here in the US in the Midwest my whole life and I would have to say I feel the exact opposite of what you described. I've always felt challenged and I used to be okay with that and sometimes enjoy it. Now after about 25 years of being in the workforce its gotten to be common for me to be overwhelmed with challenges. I then find myself feeling like why try they'll just be another fire to put out tomorrow. I could go on and on but I won't. Thank you for sharing New Zealand through your channel. It looks better and better to me each day.
Oh man I totally understand and relate to what you are describing. It really feels like a hampster wheel! That overwhelming feeling and stress constantly is very hard. The being "too easy" was one persons perspective that has lived here much longer than me and I found it very interesting. Having experienced both, I would certainly choose the easier life :)
No one takes criticism of their country well. I've been to the States multiple times, and I've always made it a rule never to criticize the U.S.A. whilst I'm there. (And yes, sometimes I have to bite my tongue.) It's not that I haven't got criticisms of the States: I just save them up for when I get home!!!! (To where I know things aren't perfect.) As for your other points, particularly housing and food costs: you're correct. Government policy up until recently has favoured property owners, as they have been the majority of voters. Tax, investment and lending laws have fueled hyper-inflated property prices. But as more and more people become renters who desire home ownership, their sway at election time will become greater and influence government policy. As for food prices: 15% GST on food doesn't help, and the duopoly of supermarket chains (govt. currently making moves to break up) only worsens the problem. The other problems regarding the costs of everything: we lack economy of scale (5 mill. to the U.S.'s 330 mill.) whether we're manufacturing or importing, and we're a long way from everywhere.
Almost pissed my pants laughing at the first 2 !! Always great to hear another person's perspective ! In my experience as a young-ish Poly who was raised in a low socioeconomic area here in NZ and currently residing in South Auckland, I would have to say that although you are SPOT ON with that passive aggressive behaviour however Its predominately found in the Nicer aka Rich areas and especially in the workplace. I personally cannot stand it and prefer to throw hands then throw shade 🤣🤣🤣I dont condone violence but in all honesty, My physical wounds have healed 1000x quicker than the psychological ones 💯
As a Kiwi, this video is great. It's great to hear an honest, well thought out, slight critique of New Zealand. No lies here! As someone who has been in leadership positions, the biggest issue with leadership in many companies is promotion through popularity and tenure. Both of these motivators, cause passive aggression. This is decreasing, but has been an issue for years! On being non-confrontational, this is a hangover from NZ's British past and definitely needs to change. Yes on the exports too!!!
Merci Beaucoup for your videos!!! So you're aware, many Maori and Pacific Islanders default to "Pakeha mode" when out of our circles. This version is a wantless, needless, agreeable, polite and well spoken. We are VERY candid and frank with family and friends. And, it brings me joy that you see our happiness. In my experience, New Zealanders have a dark history of violence seeping through them, we live at an emotional depth that enables us to connect deeply, kindly and empathetically with others, though makes us awfully hard on ourselves. Keep it up sister!!
62 year old Kiwi. Your point 1. Agree, way too sensitive. 2. I work in the public service and they are way too polite and don't say what needs to be said. 3. Yeah, no worries, all good! Agree. Stress is very unhealthy. Who is bleeding to death? No one so don't worry. 4. Agree, the cost of living is mad, mad. The place is gone nuts. We have a free trade agreement in which we promise not to subsidize our own produce. So we are competing with the international markets but we don't have the economies of scale to bulk buy. 5. Agree that we have forgotten how to push through and work hard. Also I think our soil is missing minerals that help with mental health. I agree about not dealing with the issues. Well said you. Not at all off base. I've tried to get my work place to me more direct but they just don't want to cause offence.
Well said. Can’t fault anything you said. Maybe it is the the negatives that lead to the positives and what has evolved as a society This is true of all countries and as an immigrant here as well feel Kiwis have kinda got it right. Thanks for all your videos. Yes we are not perfect but id rather be imperfect on NZ than any other place.
Thought provoking topics that I appreciate you care enough to bring it up. One of the most frustrating thing I find in the work place in NZ is that there is a lot of not getting to the point and get issues sorted. Too much worrying about hurting others feelings when in reality if we communicate with politeness, caring but firm towards another human being it can work 🙂 I feel Nz has an egalitarian culture which can be a good thing but the not so good tall poppy syndrome show the ugly side of NZ is that it discourages one not to be too outwardly proud of their personal achievements etc.really be proud and happy
I applaud you for your observations. We never used to be this sensitive. The media has led us by the nose on this and other issues over the last 2 decades. The passive-aggressive thing is the bad side of live and Iet live - this can be very frustrating for a business as Kiwis won't always say what they don't like about your service They'll simply never give you custom again Things being expensive has long and ongoing reasons. some are external impositions - subsides and tariffs in international trade (especially agriculture ) and some are not - government regulations, CB monetary policy, stymied investment in productive sector due to the previous conditions (people can't think beyond housing) Over all we are way too complacent
I totally get what you said... For me, as an expat living in nz at the moment, I remember being shocked to hear they go on and on about living in "paradise" ... that sumps everything about how arrogant and ignorant NZ people are.
I also think that, if you lived here long enough to see a few referendums, you'd probably have a sixth one on that list, which is that we are generally terrified of change.
Great video. You nailed it! I’ve been away from my beloved NZ for so long now, but the areas you lay out are so true - you especially notice them when you visit hone after being away for so long. I think NZ is a country of small business. This is the incredible sweet spot vs corporate. My opinion.
We're a small country and we're finally learning to 'grow into our own skin'. We suffer from 'small country syndrome, we want everyone to like us. Yep to the passive aggressive thing, it's a partner to out sarcastic humour.
Especially when everyone thinks we live in the shire. An American asked me if we have electricity :( we have a youngest sibling who just wants our older siblings to take us seriously thing going on
Number 5. Spot on❣I'm from South Africa, have been here for 13 years and agree 100% with you on this point. Kiwi's fear going deeper. Thanks for your courage to do these videos. God bless 💓
I think depending on the kiwi some take on that feedback really well, other not so much... Don't worry I don't like watties tomato sauce either it's disgusting
Well done you're very much right as a kiwi I have to say you have done so much to promote NZ you have earned our love and respect and I think you're spot on with your comments we have a lot to improve on and we also have to except criticism better but I still love the place 🇳🇿👍
I always enjoy your commentary good and bad (which by the way must be a ratio of 98% good?!!). I have my own perspective as a. Maori in terms of our country and what has shaped us as a community but that’s a yarn for another day! Love the energy you have for life and learning.
I strongly agree with how NZ handle issues here, like when you say issues are swept under the rug..In my observation, Some NZ management are really ambivalent..No offense meant..
wow... what a great channel you have n for a Kiwi following you it's amazing how much I'm learning from your honest perspective of us. The 'sensitive bit'...as Garth Rodgers pointed out, it's anywhere, but with us, we are a small town nation, who look for humility in people, so when an outsider makes a comment about us, we react to 'who do they think they are' syndrome. I appreciate the exposure cos I live in Australia n am a proud Kiwi following you.... Orsum
I agree whole-heartedly with all but the first point. It’s not that I think you’re wrong… it’s just that I think that’s a trait you’ll find whereever you go. If I were to say to an American in American that I think your gun laws are ridiculous … or your politics etc, I wouldn’t have to go far to find someone suggesting that if I don’t like it I’m free to take the first flight out. Same in the UK or Australia. As far as food prices are concerned… it is criminal. I can buy NZ milk for a lower price in Australia than I can here. We are the victims of a duopoly running our supermarkets. The Govt needs to either break them up or help fund some new competitors into the market. The house price issue is caused by exactly the issues you outline…. And because there is no capital gains tax on houses so investors pour their money into property. We are way too sensitive and soft in a lot of issues. Anything confrontational is to be discouraged. Great video … bring more like this one ☝️
I remember the Australian comedian, Jim Jefferies, made a show out of US gun laws. One of his bits was about being harrassed in a carpark after shows with, 'You can't change the second amendment', to which his reply was,'Yeah, you can... That's why they're called amendments'.
Bryan - I appreciate your perspective here and will reflect on that. I agree that anyone can be sensitive about things that are important to them. I pointed out that even the little things are sensitive to criticism like sausage or tomato sauce.
Intelligent objective criticism is healthy. This may shock you: I first went to NZ 50 years ago & I found then kiwis were defensive, which may be interpreted as sensitive if their country is 'critised in a not so flattering way', even if an objective comment is made about the country. I encountered snide criticism & not so friendly bullying about my accent. It wasn't just in 1 place it was everywhere I went & I travelled the whole country. So yes you are correct kiwis are touchy about themselves & their country. The only explanation for it might be that it's a small country & the people of NZ might harbour a slight inferiority complex.
Absolutely agree! Constructive criticism should be encouraged and regarded as something more progressive and healthy in any context. By the way Christelle where are you from?
I am an American and have lived and worked in NZ and from my perspective, even though New Zealanders are incredibly polite the dark side of that is they are generally very repressed...and then any negativity will come out in non-direct ways, but believe me it will come out...the avoidant strategy is in full effect...and so you might be ostracized or outcast yet have absolutely no idea why because they will not be direct enough with you or confront any uncomfortable emotion to your face. One of the most telling things is they are very rude behind the wheel and will honk and flip off in the car very readily...why because that is anonymous and is a good way to tell if someone has bottled up emotion. Yes, I think this is a spot on assessment overall! I think the suicide/depression stuff is totally linked with the emotional repression and getting emotionally stuck and all the fallout from that...
I actually do agree with you 🤣🤣 Im an indigenous Māori from Auckland Deffs agree, alot of sensitive people and sensitive to negative comments especially if its from someone they don’t know. I love honesty and criticism, but personal opinions is different though. It really is just watching what you say really but can still be straightforward. Alot stems from insecurities of not being enough because we don’t know any better
Wow! I think your list was very insightful well thought out and spot on! I am a kiwi who lived in the US for 12 years (really enjoyed my time there) and I also thought you were spot on with your US list. Thanks for the really good thought provoking content!
TBH #2 and #3 make me less anxious about the possibility of working in a New Zealand office in future lmao. Almost all of my working life has been spent working for offshore companies. Re #4, GO OFF!!!!! Re #5…no. Just no. You say yourself that the cost of living is high here; what ramifications do you think that has for poorer people? Please listen to what our activists are saying, both mental health activists and general social justice activists. Don’t confuse the complacency of many middle class people with a lack of real problems that would drive people to kill themselves.
100% on the #5. Being poor here is hell and you are immensely shamed for needing to get help from the government and getting mental health help is not only a huge taboo but it’s also extremely hard to come by (in a quality, affordable setting.) Basically if you are struggling, you are absolutely socially not allowed to mention it. And even if you talk about being severely depressed to someone, they usually give you an awkward look and try to get away from the conversation instead of being empathetic or trying to help. It’s actually awful.
Kia Ora, unfortunately, I would have to agree, way too easy but unlike our sister cousins from over the ditch, Aussies are more laid back. I won't lie but it's true
Though not kiwi born I grew up in New Zealand and love this country. Whilst I prefer living here to anywhere else in the world, I agree we have many problems, given that no country is perfect. We're a work-in-progress. Love your channel. Thanks for sharing your insights.
You were spot on with Kiwis being passive aggressive and sensitive. I never swear at people or call them names but because I always say what I think I’m considered rude in NZ. Its frustrating knowing people judge me for having an opinion but they have an opinion to so why can’t we just hear each other without becoming upset?
So do I and I have lived here since I was 6 years old, hehe 😊 I'm German and Japanese but probably more German in terms of my communication style as my mum spent 17 years in Germany and is direct herself. Even in the workplace, suggestions have often not been welcome. I was told I need to say..."I was just wondering..." rather than getting straight to the point. I do say "please" and "thank you" a lot so it's not that I'm impolite.
I think Kiwi's being offended at criticism of the country, etc, is because it's seen as very rude and we don't do this when we go overseas. It's seen as much the same as going to dinner at someones house and telling them their child is ugly. When we are overseas we might have something pointed out to us by a local that we think is just terrible. Such as, an Australian pointing to the landscape and stating it's beautiful, whereas to us, we are used to, quite frankly, stunning colourful scenery, so we are thinking, it's dreary, brown and severely dehydrated. But, to be polite, we smile and agree, so as not to hurt their feelings. Same with UK beaches. To a Kiwi, these look like somewhere you'd go to commit suicide, but we smile and say yes it's nice, while on the inside we are truly horrified. We keep our criticisms of other countries and their cultures to ourselves while we are there and would only state what we truly think, to other Kiwi's we come across there, or perhaps other immigrants/travellers, trusting they'll keep it confidential. So, you see, it's not insecurity. It's cultural politeness and you'll find this the same with anyone from a South Pacific island. Visitors and new people are supposed to be polite. I believe it's the same in the Middle East, but much worse. If someone serves you a goats head for dinner, you are expected to eat it and compliment the meal, no matter what you think and even if you're a vegetarian!
@@rp7784 Yes I am back. Thank you for welcoming me mate. But seriously if you ever lived in many different countries with various culture and history and of course people with different mindsets (like a lot of European countries or Asians etc) you will probably understand more why I hate it here
@@neversayneveragain3748 I've lived in over 25 countries, some of them worse than New Zealand. Your hatred for NZ is your "opinion" but your views are spite, if you hate it so much why waste your time trolling this comment section and just move away?
@@rp7784 you did live in 25 countries????? And yet you still sound like typically defensive and sensitive kiwi!!! You could have said there are much better countries than NZ rather than there are many worse countries than NZ. That is what I am talking about here. You people are so insecure, arrogant and ignorant with that super defensive attitudes. Patheric
It's because we practice politeness that when we we criticize we don't want to hurt the other person where you Americans seem to think "There can be only one winner" We'd rather work together as a group, constructive criticism ( in a private setting that doesn't embarrass the person and not tear strips off people in front of their co-workers just to make yourself feel good, we don't do that)
Not being offensive but in general New Zealanders don't want to hear Americans putting down their country because Americans are seen as the bullies of the world and we are happy living where we are!
On and on and on ... Do you really think Americans give a fcck about what you think about them???? NZ is so isolated and insignificant country to them. Get over it man
Good review… I’m an Aussie working for NZ company, have visited few times, but not lived in NZ. In Aus all very similar, including the cost of living and cost of home ownership. In Melbourne +$1M for an average suburban home, more in Sydney. This has changed over the past decade.
I think people are scared of expanding housing because people will lose value on their houses. I totally agree though we need to do something at this point I feel like I could not only never own a house but even afford to rent a house for myself. I'm stuck boarding with other people :(
Couldn't agree more with what you've said. Proud to be a NZer but can totally accept we are certainly not perfect
What I hate is when my fellow citizens sulk for a week when the All Blacks lose
@@geraldbruce840 Hi Gerald!!!!
I wish there were more people like you here in NZ... love the way you simply call it a spade a spade....not being sulk or passive aggressive like so many people here are often... Have a good one!!
Bet...I would love this country much more if there were more people like you who can see things more clearly and objectively & accept flaws or imperfections more humbly. Have a good one!
@@neversayneveragain3748 there are plenty of us in NZ Slava who can accept the imperfections, but we are most likely not as noisy about it as the indignant ones.
@@darrenyoung4509 i know what you are saying! And unfortunately that passive aggressive and standoffish vibe is the one I have been feeling about NZ since I came here only 2 years ago.
1) To be fair to us, no country's citizens take criticism of their homeland well. I do agree with you on Watties sauce though, there are far better options available.
2) We don't mind issues being sorted, we just prefer they were sorted quietly. That does limit progress with some serious problems because some people use that preference to hide from those problems.
3) Americans are unnecessarily over-stressed. But we're not that laid back either.
4) No arguments there. We are being ripped off everywhere. We pay export prices for food etc. and stupidly high import prices. As for land, there are environmental & economic reasons against outward expansion.
5) No. No, they're not too easy. It can look that way though. We have a very dark side to our culture. The scars of past trauma run deep and we are reluctant to talk about them.
chur bro well put an so true
Pretty stringent my bro 👊! But yeah chur.
Totally agree
Spot on bro
100% this
It always takes an outsider to see the flaws. Sweet as.
Always proud to be a New Zealander
Thanks for watching!
@@Kiwiamericans Not that much of an outsider now shes experienced our ways and become one with our culture, except for the watties incident. I know id be proud to call you a fellow kiwi so keep up the good work aunty!
@@Kiwiamericans Your one of us now haha!
As an Aussie, yes we do have a "laid back" culture in many ways, but we also have a sense of entitlement that leaves Kiwis in the dust, we are entitled on steroids. Not everyone of course, but a strong vein runs through our culture and we explode when our sense of entitlement is threatened in any way, then we are definitely not so laid back! I don't find Kiwis entitled comparatively, because Kiwis are more known for finding a solution creatively, even if disgruntled about situation. We Aussies are much more likely to be sooks about whatever it is.
Good on you mate👍🏻😉
Good points. I also think that in some ways, Australia is more conservative than NZ. I know that most Aussies think it’s the other way around! This might be the influence of a large number of Australians who descended from conservative European and Middle Eastern countries and the values they brought with them have been incorporated into society.
@@drayner2517 Conservatism in Aus has grown significantly over time, although I am unsure migrant people were a big influence. Most migrants experience racism and discrimination, which can challenge conservative beliefs. Agree Aus is way more conservative than NZ. Would prefer to just become the west island of NZ if it was up to me 😉
From NZ 🇳🇿: Are you sure it's roids, and not Tooheys Blue and XXXX!? LOL...
Fuk..as a kiwi.. did I even spell that right 🙄!? As a kiwi it spells "State of Origin! NSW! NSW!NSW!
I'm Australian but my partner is from NZ - I think Australians are more direct than kiwis - totally get the kiwi passive aggressive tendencies lol
Haha! I laughed so hard while watching this 😅as a Kiwi that pre-pandemic spend 2-3 months of the year in the USA, you totally nailed it with describing New Zealand as a non-confrontational country and America being a country that has a culture of directly asking for what you want, and it's one of the biggest differences between our cultures.
Thanks for watching!
I often hear that Americans have problems with German directness, but if New Zealanders find Americans too direct, what do they think about Germans in this respect? ;)
NZ is a highly confrontational place - it is defined by passive aggression, toxicity, intolerance, extreme bullying and required conformity
Waka
@@xxearlgreyxx_ I'm straight forward and vibe well with Americans, but even then I find German's can be abbrasive and annoying at times lol. I still love em though, at least Germans have many great traits that make up for it. White kiwis would no doubt take a strong dislike towards Germans due to the abrasiveness but also cos they're petty af and are still pressed about WW2. Maoris should be chill, they vibe well with me but they seem to dislike the local "pakeha" which, tbh, theres not much to like lol.
You are spot on with this assessment. However, in regards to the suicide statistics, this may also be coupled with our horrid child abuse and spousal abuse statistics. I was brought up in a toxic, abusive home. This is something that I believe can lead to many issues within families and society. It can raise narcissistic child, broken children, suicidal children, and bullying children. The bully at school is likely to be bullied at home. The behaviour is learned. We need to give children the ability to know what abuse is and give them a safe environment for them to talk about it. In a number of cases, this is not home. We are deluding ourselves into believing homes are the safest place for children. There is one thing I have noticed - Kiwi do not like us talking about our abuse and many families keep it all hidden away, for fear of "airing the families dirty laundry in public".
Thank you for your videos! I always enjoy them.
Thanks for mentioning that Alan. There needs to be a balance I guess. I feel that America has "dealt with it" but they're on another extreme over in that country where ppl express themselves to a point where u can shoot a person if u don't like them...because guns are so readily available. So yeah in a way no one is perfect but a good start may go a long way to change things....Good wishes!
@@jennyiuslol what?! Half our country is full of psychotic gun toting trumpians that have no problem murdering anyone not like them. And the other half of us are normal. Don't judge us on thr bad apples please
Not a bad list. No genocide, no corrupt government, no massive wealth inequality. I’ll take it.
Hello. Um, 'No corrupt government'? We live in a country with a UN Agenda pinned to its forehead. Farmers have been trampled on for decades, euthanasia and abortion and 'pride' are paid for by your tax dollar and we have had an unelected 'prime-minister' for years, the roads are 'third world' because the government trashed the rail system, and unelected Mr Hipkins just raised petrol ostensibly to pay for those roads, 'but wait, there's more!' Kyrie eleison.
What country do you live in? We have the worst genocide, a communist government (soon to be fascist), and huge wealth inequality.
Grow up @peterrose8944
No genocide 🤔what you think landless diffrent cultured people running the goverment are doing,Trying to genocide us native indigenous maori peoples with a pen paper & word's & our TREATY was & is wirh the ENGLISH
@@dubbzz2349DECEPTION & DENIAL LEAD'S TO DESTRUCTION 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽WELL PLAYED👍🏽
I agree with everything you say, Tara. However nowhere is 'perfect' there are 'pros and cons' all over the world. I came here from UK nearly 60 years ago and for me, even with its problems, New Zealand is paradise! This is HOME. I enjoy all your videos, you could increase the gain on your audio though please..
Thanks for watching!
My parents brought me in 2005 just as I started high school, I found the transition quite difficult probably because of my age, i lived in napier for 10 years and now wanaka for 6 years and absolutely love my life. Never going back to the uk.
@@bats23 Is Wanaka expensive?
@@bb21again.67 cheaper than queenstown
@@ethanm5432 I lived in Napier for 6 years before moving to Australia in 1989.
We have laws around hiring and firing here in New Zealand. It takes 5mins to employ someone- it takes 9months to get rid of them.
If we try to fast track getting rid of a bad employee, we will end up in the employment courts. Ignorance of our employment laws is not an excuse to sack someone early, unless it’s a matter of thief, racism, sexism, or religious belief, as examples. Even then an employer has to have confirmed evidence that there is clear evidence of this. Verbal warnings can not be entered on an employees record, written warnings are. Retraining has to be given as well in an effort to improve an employees work performance. It is only when all the correct boxes have been ticked that an employer can then terminate a work contract.
Employees also have the right to sue an employer as well if they feel they have been unfairly treated in the work place.
So if you think our management is been to lenient with one of the workers, it could be for a multitude of reasons- unfair dismissal can end up costing the company tens of thousands in a court case or tribunal hearing.
Nailed it.... this is exactly why there are people continuing to remain in workplaces who should not be there.
@@nicolaaustin8011 still prefer this over getting fired through an email or text.
I went into this video a tad hesitant (passive aggressive 😂) but having watched the whole thing I agree with EVERY point you’ve made! In fact I have voiced most of them! You have put across your point most graciously and I hope that nobody comes for you in the comments - a very thought provoking video! ❤️
Nah too divisive. She could help us by discussing this evil spreading here and in Aussie right now (and is speeding up since Obama's visit last week to Aussie. ua-cam.com/video/_NK9xgzdTp0/v-deo.html
You are totally right. New Zealanders do not handle criticism or confrontation easily. As a person who has lived in 5 different countries and cultures, I can testify everything you mentioned about the suicide rate, the bullying in NZ is so high one has to brace himself in order to survive in this kiwi society.
It's America and their divisive manipulation happening in NZ And Aussie and forcing us to abide? ua-cam.com/video/_NK9xgzdTp0/v-deo.html
I don't understand how bullying is high and confrontation is not?
Try criticizing Americans about THEIR country and see what happens!! They don't like it🤣
This is the same with many in most countries. You’ve no idea how many Americans will tell you to shut up and go home if you think anything is wrong with America. Its universal.
Yup that's so true
I'm not a Kiwi, however I'm an extremely proud and happy Expat. I'm sure you are quite right about some of your experiences in Godzone, I totally agree Kiwis are definitely indirect rather than direct which most Americans seem to be! I'm basing my comments on personal experience of both cultures. I have negative memories of my time in the USA, in particular the total lack of politeness when dealing with conflict resolution. I'm sure that is not Countrywide in the USA, but oh dear, the stress levels I observed with the population I ran into, left me speechless at times lol.
Tessa - yes the stress and the rudeness can be shocking! I would take passive aggressive any day in stead of that! Thanks for watching!
@@Cha4k It's both
Good on you Tessa for sincerely making my home yours, unlike those who come here, we give them a chance and they think they're entitled to criticise our way. America is pushing their evil agenda on us and Aussie right now anua-cam.com/video/_NK9xgzdTp0d/v-deo.html I don't see any videos about this with these "Kiwiamericans"?
Yup Americans are rude af. That's everywhere. Not gonna lie. Get me outta here! 😢
“Yeah, Nah.” Equals passive aggressive. So yes, we are passive aggressive.
Wat ties is a good sauce, but others are good options.
Our sausages are very bland. Unless you buy artisan types from an actual butcher.
We are laid back. But that’s not a negative to us as we don’t mind.
Yes. The housing market is mental. Totally agree.
As to food production vs cost to ourselves. There are complex reasons, it is crazy, you are right.
Our suicide/depression rates and the resources to deal with it is our biggest social injustice. You are right.
You are not off base. Thanks for the feed back.
There is quite a serious problem with bullying here in schools and workplaces. It's just so frustrating that there's not really much that can be done. Lots of good points that I think would do some of us a lot of good to reflect upon 👍
I mean there is a lot that can be done. But it's hard and costly, so we don't
My personal feeling is if the parents cannot control there child for bullying then that child should be expelled east as that yes New Zealand is good for Bully in Schools and the school knows the bullying is happening and they turn a blind eye.
People are bully’s because others tolerate it. One sure fire solution is to double up your fist up and bust the asshole right in the mouth. Settled!! Your welcome.
After 15 years of living in Nz - originally from Guernsey. You nailed with the passive aggression, overly sensitive mentality. There is also another situ - the alpha feminist movement going on that’s very toxic. I had a leave on account of the alpha feminist bs that went on in the work place, flatting eta. in my case film. They. Get. Away. With. Murder the way that some women treat each other in Nz is appalling. It took a lot to leave but the fem gate keeping honestly! something has to be done about this female aggression. A lot of stuff I know but that’s what comes up from watching. I’m very glad for the frank yet conscientious outlook.
As a born and bred kiwi who has lived overseas for many years, I agree with you in most you said. Especially about how things are not discussed. I constantly trip over the rug in my family of origins presence, there is so much been swept under there. We are expected to ‘toughen up’ , handle it and get on with it. Something I have always loathed about our culture, rather shut you down than discuss. Love your channel and hope all your fam are great. 🇳🇿🇺🇸🙏
I can relate to what you’ve said 💯
Do definitely agree with most of your points and thanks for sharing your perspective 😊 the only thing I disagree with is the "It being too easy": cost of housing, subtle micro-agressions and tall-poppy syndrome are all reasons why suicide/mental well-being here is very poor. Easiness is not one
Unfortunately, there is more to come from America: ua-cam.com/video/_NK9xgzdTp0/v-deo.html their PURE EVIL.
I'm a kiwi, I don't mind criticism about it here. But I know plenty of kiwis who like to believe we are the bees knees and untouchable, kinda the way most Americans do 😆
I have seen the way Americans often don't realise they're coming across as rude. They are a people that feel free to speak their mind. One I worked with here in Australia, and caught the train to work with, would 'wax lyrical' on any subject on the train (and not in hushed tones!). You could feel the disapproval coming from other passengers!
Well, I can see and kinda understand why Americans are the bees knees ...
But ..hello?? Nz???...cum on! I am just laughing
tibuse
I like criticism, I welcome it with a open mind, I know ppl tho who just wanna nag… it’s secrets and passive aggressive is what I hate
Haha … and there it is … a passive aggressive comment.
I've lived in NZ my entire life, and I agree with all of your points. I think there is a level of insecurity and internalising criticism that then expresses itself in different ways within the community. I think it does cause problems honestly.
As a south american (Argentinian) That lived in NZ for about a year, I can say that we definitely feel that everything is too easy there. Compared to the struggles that we have to go here it's incredibly easy, and that can certainly take its toll. I don't think it works just by itself, cause when everything is easy and you are just bored, then third party agents come into play, like addictions, or any way to create excitement.
But all in all, this is the reason we strive to migrate there, beacuse you can just live better, happier.
This was great content. All very salient points that we would do well as a culture to wrestle with. I would add two thoughts. Pakeha culture particularly is not good at conflict and dealing openly with issues. Maori and Pacifica cultures have better frameworks for having courageous conversations IMO eg Talanoa. Second, your points are absolutely true for Aucklanders but I think we are used to more criticism from our South Island friends Eg JAFA. Sometimes it’s a joke but sometimes you know it’s true. We tend to be more open to the downsides of Auckland life and talking about it but after watching your video I might need to critically reassess that 😁. Great video. Thank you.
Thanks for watching!
Nailed it! Good video and you have identified cultural aspects and traints of us kiwis. The sensitivity I think is "youngest children" sydrome - being a small country next to Aystralia probably is in part the blame. I lived in Australia fo rthree years and not a day went past (icluding Christmas) when some Aussie didnt slag off NZ. I wonder if Canada has the same trint being next to the USA?? In fact I think your video is so good it could be used as a teaching aide for students to discuss Kiwi cultural norms. Pat on back!!
I have to say, the only time I've seen kiwis getting ribbed (in Australia) is when it's clear they can't take it. Pisstaking is a big part of the Australian sense of humour and everyone loves a sensitive 'victim'.
@@howlsatdesertmoon9840 One has also noted, having lived in Australia, Aussies are are far better at giving it than taking it. On the flip side, overseas its a case of Oi! You can't pick on my kiwi mate. Thats MY job!!! When it really counts, we have each others backs.
@@stuchatterton6550 Yep! We're all better dishing it out than taking it. But we're bound by geolocation, history and tradition. We're one in that. Can't imagine any Australian who wouldn't fight in defense of NZ.
@@shayjohnson5830 it’s also interesting because I don’t feel there’s much tension between the US and Canada. Americans affectionately refer to Canadians as the friendly neighbor. Any criticism of Canada usually comes from extremist Republicans (like Trump) who might refer to them as socialists for political clout.
Thank you for an interesting perspective, especially given your fears of a negative reaction. I'm British but with family in NZ. Having visited but not lived there, I cannot comment personally on most of your points, though I have met numerous Kiwis (and Aussies) over the years. I note, however, that some traits are shared with Britons, unsurprising given that both Oz and NZ were offshoots of Britain, eg, avoidance of confrontation, passive aggression. But they have also evolved differently, eg. the tall poppy syndrome. Also, living at the heart of great empires (economic in the case of the USA), Britons and Americans can be annoyingly arrogant but also, as the target of much criticism, develop a remarkably thick skin, absent in other nationalities. As Britain's role in the world has diminished, our need to constantly prove ourselves has also reduced and we, too, have become more relaxed though not to the extent of the Antipodeans. Unlike Americans, we now work to live, not live to work.
Totally on point about tall poppy syndrome. Being a kiwi who has lived in Australia for over 10 years too, tall poppy is alive and thriving. It’s year round too, not seasonal at all. I bought a beautiful V8 in Aussie which I brought back to NZ. I get hassled on the road every time I take it out in both countries. Tall Poppy. Got to say though, Aussies not so good at rugby but they sure can build V8s and make awesome music to play in them. Are you hearing AC/DC ‘Highway to Hell.’ 🇺🇸🇳🇿🇦🇺🇬🇧
@@darrenyoung4509 oooooook, sounds like you know a lot about cults. I don’t know how to do the Haka, so not sure about that one. Cheers bro, for the giggle. You stay safe now, you hear. ✊
@@darrenyoung4509 100% agree with that. Gentleness is definitely not a kiwi trait. Coming from an abusive malignant narcissistic family background, where the enabler was Canterbury Regional Manager of Westpac by day but a child abuser by night and was able to hide it and shame my sister and I for our sensitivity because they had money, I understand this all too well. No disrespect was meant to you my friend. ✊
@@interestingaf3944That’s not music!😄
As a NZer, your analysis was perfect and 100% correct. And you were very fair in how you worded things.
I love how passive aggressive we are. Active aggression is terrifying. No conflict allowed thanks.
Assertiveness is the healthy option but many are afraid of direct communication. Do not confuse assertiveness with aggression.
This was so good! Thank you! I’ve been watching your videos for a while and waiting for this one. As an American who has lived outside of the U.S. (but not in New Zealand) it can be really interesting to see how culturally different we are from other countries when it comes to being direct and assertive. I know I have rubbed some people the wrong way at networking events just by being direct about making a connection and I think I am more laid back and polite than the average American. I can see how that would cause some culture shock. I was also really surprised living in Canada how similarly insecure they were about the U.S. It reminded me of little brother vs. big brother and there was absolutely no reason for it. Amazing country. My husband likes to tell me the story about not being able to get kiwi fruit while in New Zealand because it was too expensive for locals and that was 30 years ago! There are no perfect countries or people and certainly you will find that the housing market in the U.S. is outrageous right now too. We have an incredible housing shortage in the U.S. and people are buying houses completely sight unseen. Anyway, I still can’t wait to visit NZ and think it’s a near perfect country but thanks for sharing your perspective!
Janelle - thanks for sharing your thoughts on this!! Where are you living now...in Canada?
@@Kiwiamericans I am actually just south of the Canadian border in Montana. My best friend is moving to NZ next year (her husband has an entrepreneurial visa) so hoping to travel to visit then. Thanks again for your videos! She watches them too.
I know this isn't going to go over too well but I suspect that the critism itself is generally not the problem but because it's you who says it and because you are an American you can expect to cop far more than say a Swedish person, or an Indian or Japanese person. Kiwis historically have an unfavorable view of the United States and Americans not applied to many other nations. Americans are usually seen to be quite obnoxious, rude, showboaty and have a superiority complex that they must be the greatest nation in the world, so often when an American says something about New Zealand people will kind of roll their eyes and sigh or get angry because the person saying the thing is already looked at as stuck up and rude. This is especially true of the white, wealthy religious and evangelical demographic. Because of all the news around American politics white Baptists are seen to be a wee bit racist, biggoted, angry, nasty and preachy etc especially Republicans. I know this is likely unfair on your character but I would say you are probably disproportionately critisied for the perception of your predisposed attitude, religion, origin and other demographic traits as opposed to some other things.
Not sure the kiwi attitude towards Americans doesn't also apply to Australians. Many Kiwis I've met seem obsessed with disliking Australians. Australians, for our part, barely talk about NZ.
@@howlsatdesertmoon9840 yeah I never understood that but the difference between kiwi attitudes towards Australia and the US are usually somewhat that 'hating' aus is more of a joke we don't actually but just like to say it 😅 with Americans it's felt a lot more on a personal level
@@kieranbrady1240 this we pretend to dislike Aussies but it's a bit more vicious with the Americans for the reasons you listed.
@@howlsatdesertmoon9840 I totally agree with what you're saying...I'd always heard friends talk about Americans that way but watching this video I think what they said is true...
We shy away from confrontation, won't complain, wouldn't send a bad meal back etc, very indirect in the way we deal with things.
With the meal thing, its like, well you've had your chance, I'm not coming back here again.
Don't ever send a meal back, it's bad for your health in many places.
Omg the amount of meals that I just end up thinking yep I paid to throw that away! … and then just proceed to boycott them for 2 months. Countdown stopped my partner from buying alcohol because my license is expired, haven’t been back since- that was at least half a year ago. I have been shopping at four square since, great service ! Haha ps. That last segment , so true.
I do complain about bad service and food etc. If they get any item on my order wrong I send it back. I had Thai meal delivered a few days ago and one item was missing when it arrived. I phoned and complained and the manager herself delivered it to me. My sister once got appalling service in a brand new 5 star hotel. The fruit basket in her room was full of rotting fruit complete with fruit flies . They got her order wrong in the restaurant more than once and the food was awful but very expensive, and when she complained she got attitude and faces made at her instead of an apology. So when she was checking out and paying her bill there was a slot to add a tip.......she wrote in that slot "Not Applicable", Hahahahahahahaha! And when she gets rude disinterested service in shops she smiles broadly and says "Keep on smiling"! LOL
@@juanitarichards1074 Unfortunately that attitude is becoming so very much the norm these days ... all trained by accountants without marketing skills.
Thank you for being brave enough to put across your perspective. I agree with the 5 you cited👍🏻, but have a different way of understanding them. I'm a born and lived kiwi, traveled the world, worked and managed in corporate and non corporate, owned my own business, written books, been in high level negotiations etc etc.. My perspective of life is determined by how I look out at the world. My life experiences have given me a specific lens of understanding, which creates my lens of perspective. So how I see things, is due to my understanding of what I am seeing, the same goes for everyone. What do we understand of the situation?
There are deeper, older reasons for the way we or any nation is now, which is different to the way we were 50 years ago and then different again 25 years ago. As generations unfold, changes come about, not always good, but nonetheless still a good opportunity to learn from. As the world scene changes, so too again we change via the unfolding generations, to assimilate into that world scene.
One thing I would add is, compassion and kindness can often be mistaken for weakness, but that depends on the observers perspective and understanding. To find out how once successful Johnny, became a homeless drunk, we can look at his life experiences for some answers. So too we must do for all things. It may not make for good UA-cam content though, sorry.
Thank you Tara, always love your inspiring content. 🌺
Elah - thanks for sharing this! I agree with you that the lens you see life through matters. Perspectives can change drastically when looking at the same thing. I appreciate you taking the time to comment!
Honestly I think 1&2 are very much related. For some reason the majority of Kiwi's have a crisis of confidence. Often extremely competent but just don't know it. To address problems or criticism openly and directly you have to have a degree of confidence in yourself and generally speaking we don't seem to have it, hence the sensitivity and shying away from conflict. This is also probably why we don't have a lot of hussle when it comes to getting what we want/deserve, again you need the 'I'm worth it, I can do it' attitude to push through. As I'm sure you're aware lack of achievement and no confidence are the perfect breeding grounds for mental health problems. Anyways as sad as these things are, awareness can be the start of change, so thanku for your video. Tena koe, e hoa!
I'd bet uber-egalitarianism has a lot to do with it. It's a great ideal but, like all ideals, the closer you get to them, the greater the cost... e.g. If everyone's equal, then no one can be greater than anyone else. The tall poppy syndrome is a thing in Australia too.
That is a great point about confidence. That would play a big role in speaking up or getting a side hustle. Thanks for sharing as I will ponder that.
I'd argue that while our youth suicide rate is the worst in the world, our overall rate is far better than the like of the USA and Australia. What this tells me is that rather than lack of achievement and no confidence being breeding grounds for mental health problems, it's really poor mental health education and lack of hope for the future that's killer here. The laid back thing seems to suit us fine if we can survive into adulthood.
@@telprydain1 well...I kinda know what you are trying to say...but in my opinion, a lot of negative traits are deeply rooted in narcissistic(*we live in paradise) and toxic(*tall poppy syndrome and passive aggressiveness etc) traits of NZ
Why do we need to hustle in life let's go back to simple living growing food plants and being self sustainable I know the world needs it
I think that the comments here reflect that the major problem is one of glib generalizations - descriptions of 'a national character' rely too much on stereotypes derived from the media, rather then real life inter-personal relations and the level of experience that any individual has. For instance, as an Australian-born individual who grew up, and was educated for at least half my early life In the USA, I know well the common perception of Americans being excessively loud and aggressive, and yet remember them being for the most a kind and generous people, and a far less obnoxious bunch than my fellow Australians. Also I have had many Kiwi friends who were also a a great bunch! Unless of course you get to talking about sport - don't mention Cricket unless you're prepared to take a drubbing about under-arm bowling and cheating being an integral part of the Australian character. But I guess what I'm saying is that there is a grain of truth in all of our mutual perceptions about what we observe about other peoples; so it might be better to acknowledge the fact that we all are human - none of us are perfect - and to concentrate on the positives, and move on!
Best Wishes to all from Sydney, DSW.
David - thanks for sharing all your thoughts!
I'm an Aussie who lives in NZ. I've definitely had some odd looks when I say I'm not into cricket or rugby. And by that I mean, I could not name one of the current team members.
Agreed about concentrating on the positives, but without acknowledging and analysing the negatives, how can we move on?
Its a balancing game......
@@Luubelaar i was born in nz and i cannot name one
😂 you just brushed her points under the carpet 😉
As a Kiwi who lived in the States for 14 years before returning home to raise my family....I couldn't agree more with what you've said. Before someone can comment I think it should be expected that the person have lived in both countries for an extended time before passing comments....
As a kiwi, I agree with everything you said, actually more than your positive ones!!! I'm impressed with how brave you posting this video as we are super sensitive. These things are so engraved in us that until someone points them out most would totally deny that this is true and just consider others to be rude. How I wish confrontation wasn't so frightening to us, honestly it's ridiculous at times and I'm extremely guilty of avoiding it. Thanks for your honesty!!!
Tracy - thanks so much for understanding how hard it was to post!
Kia Ora from another Amerikiwi who's been here since 2010. I just came across your channel recently. I found some of your insights interesting and well done for saying it out loud because they're not wrong.
Criticism about kiwi stuff - I think the Wattie's example is a little light because we all have our favourite tomato sauces ;), but apply that idea to a wider context such as politics, culture, diversity, social-economic, business hegemony and you got something there. I think we are trying harder to deal with these more openly and kindly, but it get framed with "this is how we do it". In a business context in particular, I see that issues are dealth with quietly and sometimes harmful. I'm not sure it's better because sometimes that quiet approach reveals a lack of experience, which many kiwis have if they stay at one job for along time or have not worked in a non kiwi situation (immigrant). I find that many just don't want to deal and eventually people with skills move on and happily so. I wish we could manage that better, but sometimes, it just seems "precious".
Passive-Aggressiveness - I agree that you can find this here and I see it alot in business, in services especially in situations of hierarchy, patriarchy and ethnicity. I wish that was better among those that are older. I do find young people are more direct and unafraid of revealing their inexperience and bias more so than older people. I would add that I have to be patient and ask questions for kiwis to get to the point. I do think this is the yank in me that doesn't mind internal candor and external discretion. I feel sometimes that I've stepped back into the early 2000s but it's a work in progress. I had to come up with protocols to break through passive aggressive with being more open and vulnerable. Doesn't mean it works all the time or that I'm not affected. But it's my least favourite thing on your list.
Laidback - I will push back that I find kiwis work with focus but are not afraid of saying "I'm not feeling well, I'm staying home", "I have to manage some personal stuff" as you pointed out with work life balance. What I would say though on "laidback-ness" is that there's unwritten trust to getting stuff done "better" without too much thought. I have worked in many situations where I'm amazed that people behave a certain way and it's ok (and for example, flirting on the job, "bully" type behavior, not meeting deadlines more effectively, thinking they know more than they really do, not leveraging people skills better for situations, making bad decisions and lots of gossip and list goes on). I agree with you however, that the laidback attitude is nice to deal with, and what I've done is to be more clear on what is needed and by when, yet trust people to meet that obligation in their way, which is a nice change. And also, I get the chance to learn some new approaches.
Cost of Living - I tell people all the time, NZ/Aotearoa is nice if you can afford it because everything is spendy and it causes grief because of the inequality that no one wants to talk about. It can create segregation in communities. I would love to see how we do things to reflect solving this issue in a social democratic country. Since I've been here, everything has gotten expensive and I see more outcomes of poverty and shame. All I can do is vote with my pocketbook and my pen. NZ used to be quite independent with industry, but I thinking taxing food and exporting alot of their good stuff for cheap stuff is an uncomfortable problem. I don't like the real estate market. However, I don't think NZ is alone. It's bigger than our borders but it makes questionable policies.
Too Easy - I would frame this with the laidbackness, common sense and kindess to approach things that probably could use more experience, more vim and vigor, but I know what you mean because I do the /facepalms too. I find more often than not, most people use what they have experienced to solve things because they lack the context. They think "it's all gonna work out" and make decisions based on that. But sometimes it make the creativity of trying something new a challenge.
Something I think is missing in your list is the "We're too small" attitude to be noteworthy of notice and innovation. I don't know how many convos I have when I enquire 'why don't we....or how might we...' and to be told "we're too small" for the market cap. In 2018, the tech industry employed 6% of the workforce, generating 8% of the GDP and 9% of the exports (source MP Clare Curran) - all before COVID has made all of us work differently and I would expect this has gone up. How we handled COVID has been exemplar to other nations (even though we complain). We are not too small to show the rest of the world how our approach in life has positive outcomes. We just have to make leap of faith in our investment beyond accepting our size or cutting the tall poppies of opportunity.
Cheers
I'm Aussie and proud of my passive aggressive skills. We take it next level on this side of the world lol
Hi. I'm.a Kiwi living in Australia and agree with your five points, to the extent that I had to pause your video a couple of times because I felt somewhat confronted. It just goes to show, you can take the boy put of the country... And on reflection, much of what you said was why I left in the first place. Also - a secret I've found while Australia - Aussies aren't laid back in the least. It's just their shtick.
I've read about some of the issues you mention about NZ but they were never put in the context that you describe. I think your perspective as someone from the outside without the cultural conditioning of a native you see it for what it is! Great insights!
Well I certainly agree! Thanks for watching!
I think that most of your points were pretty valid, except the last one (yes, I notice the passive aggressiveness in my tone😋 ). I've known quite a few people who were lost to suicide. They did not have things too easy. They all had serious problems and were dealing with serious trauma. Our reluctance to deal with things head on is a major issue. At least these days we can openly talk about it, even if we do so reluctantly. When I was younger that was not allowed at all. The media would report an 'unexpected death' but couldn't actually say the word 'suicide'. If you want some actual statistics I suggest reading the reports from the Youth19 surveys. They were performed in schools throughout the country and included questions about mental health. It's very clear that the harder they have it, the more depressed they are.
I want you to know that I'm trying to explain things because I'm not upset at you. I've watched several of your videos and you seem a genuinely nice person. I find it upsetting that there are people who actual think that having it 'easy' is the issue, but I think that just comes from you not having enough information about the situation. I actually really like watching your videos because you are so different from me. We come from very different walks of life and I don't really get to engage with people like you, so I quite like getting your take on things.
People taking criticism badly and telling you to go back to America comes from us having short man syndrome. We're very aware of how far away we are from everything. When I was a kid we used to be years behind the UK and US when it came to TV programmes. We'd be behind in fashion and in music because it literally took longer for things to get to us. We're still getting over that which is why we can be a bit defensive. Tomato sauce is over rated. Sweet Thai Chilli is so much better.
I'd argue that while our youth suicide rate is the worst in the world, our overall rate is far better than the like of the USA and Australia. What this tells me is that rather than lack of achievement and no confidence being breeding grounds for mental health problems, it's really poor mental health education and lack of hope for the future that's killer here. The laid back thing seems to suit us fine if we can survive into adulthood.
The stats behind the fact as the 'worse off' Kiwis are impacted by suicide more in our society. Having lived in 4 other countries (now in my 30's) I can say that mental health and addressing it head on was not happening there either and dealing with mental issues head on was not happening. But why is it that countries like Argentina, Peru, Brazil (using the reference considering the fact this was discussed with a S.American in the video) have a lower teen suicidal rate than NZ AND will have a higher % of people living in worse conditions than a lot of the 'worse off' in NZ (talking % here and generalisations here, not specifics)? I think the video did not explain (she admits she was doing a bad job) quite what the South American and her think of 'we have it easy'. We as NZer's (generalisation) do not have the day to day challenges that are faced in most South American cities and communiteis, South East Asian countries and even African nations. We are not challenged (nor have to be) in our societal framework to 'fight' to make a living. We have safety and security nets that can help and prop up (for the most part) all kiwis to some extent. These SHOULD BE KEPT and they are SUPER IMPORTANT. However, does that security create a 'mental softness due to the easiness of life' because we are not being challenged externally, that when we are challenged internally (mental health wise) we have not developed mechanisms to rise up and help ourselves individually get out of that scenario. (Yes there are people that need external support. Agree that is fundamental, but would there be less individuals needing external support IF they had the mechanisms from past experiences to rise up and held themselves).
Is there a need to help develop grit and mental resiliency in NZ, especially in the harder hit communities in schools BECAUSE this is not something that is needing to be developed in day to day life as much as some worse off countries? Do we need to find safe ways to allow young children to be challenged and pushed mentally so that when they truly face those issues they are capable enough to do so? If the external environment is not creating every day lessons and challenges to develop strength in resiliency and grit, then how do we artificially create it (like a mind gym) to prepare an individual better when that expertise is needed?
I too have lost too many to suicide (no immediate obvious pattern). One had personality disorder, one a highly successful, popular businessman, one a loner, two were gay. In each case I think they felt totally, totally alienated - I’ve thought about it a lot and think a perception of not belonging, having been excluded is part of it. Certainly does not excuse it though. Any society with a high suicide rate is failing
I agree with you, as a New Zealand teen myself I think lots of mental heath issues are not probably delt with. I have been lucky enough to be brought up in a very well of place in NZ but there are still people at my school with poor mental heath. Some of this is due to sexual assault that hasn’t been taken seriously or bullying. I have friends who have experience sexual assault and I (a gay teen) have been a victim of bully and was once even attacked at a beach by two girl.
I also think this is an interesting video and I don’t wish anything bad on the maker, however I do think that since she hasn’t grown up here and also seems quite private as she would have had enough money to live here she might not understand the parts of NZ that aren’t so pretty and that are from younger perspective
I am still a teen with a bit of learning to do but this is my perspective.
I applaud you for making this video. As kiwis we don’t want to look at the not so nice things. I also think it’s good for people overseas to know this is not paradise. There are a lot of not so great things here. As I tell people it’s amazing to be a tourist as you don’t see this.
Totally agree! Better visit the US than to live there. Thanks for watching!
Absolutely agreed
Oh my goodness this video is SPOT ON!! As a Kiwi who has emigrated to the USA, I agree 100% with EVERYTHING you said. Americans are FAR less sensitive, WAY more direct and they 'deal with the problem and move on' . They are more confident, emotionally mature and more resilient. I love it!! I found ALOT of bullying behavior in the workplace in NZ. I do not experience that here in America.
And yes most Kiwis are super sensitive and cannot handle criticism at all (including me 😆)
I find Americans are more straightforward, not two faced..I work in a company of 200 people and not once have I witnessed any form of bullying or passive aggressiveness. This really made an impression on me.
And I do not miss the cost of living in NZ!! It is absolutely ridiculous. I can buy a really nice house in this part of the USA (Southwest Virginia) for under $100,000. Eating out is waaay cheaper here too.
Yes, NZ is a wonderful country, but it has its downsides like anywhere.
The reaction I get from Americans is that NZ is this perfect paradise. In my personal opinion, living in the USA is much better. What you see is what you get here. The people are generally friendly, good people and the opportunities here are endless. So, whenever you are unhappy with where you live, and want to move countries, just remember nowhere is perfect.
Btw...I buy NZ apples here at Walmart cheaper than I did in NZ. That's just sad!
Thanks so much for sharing your experience!! Glad someone truly understands. How long have you been in USA? Thanks for watching
Good for you man!!!!
I cannot agree you more about what you said. I have been absolutely shocked by the difference between Americans or Europeans or Asians and the people of NZ
Hi koala bear , may I ask how you created the opportunity to move to the US as I would like to immigrate there but have no clue , thanks
I came to NZ from the UK as a 14 year old and I'm still waiting for things to change in my old age. I think New Zealand is a young country still struggling to find its place in the world, but it is definitely getting better. There are a lot of Polynesian influences that are gradually changing too. Polynesians, not too far back, were brought up not to make eye contact for instance, which is an irritant in many other cultures in this country. I do notice it changing. And maybe that's it, a small country with many cultures. Who do you please? Some of the things you mentioned do annoy me still, someone holding down a job when there is someone so much more competent unable to get a job. On the other hand - Oh it's so tricky. Well said Tara.
Sheila- thanks for your thoughts!
Perhaps NZers avoid conflict as a habit/cultural norm rather than "passive aggressive"
I don't know how to explain this but I think the aversion to confrontation stems from the ability of the Maori culture to scalp their enemies. The culture has developed that it is safer for all to avoid passionate aggression which can trip into violence. People who try to force a culture to change to what they think they should be would create the exact same negative culture that caused the person to leave where they came from in the first place.
Outsiders need to let countries develop at a pace that suits the culture.
Yup, we can be a touchy bunch. As a Kiwi, the two things I openly don't like is foreign people telling us that we have to change even though their country sucks. The other is, if they say anything negative about Aussies (only Kiwis and Aussies should mock eachother). Much like how if someone said something negative about your family member. You wouldn't take it would you?! Never been to Oz but I would defend it, even in war.
Good points Taylor! Thanks for watching!
I don’t think an ‘easy life’ makes a person depressed. Depression is a complex mental disease . In addition New Zealanders have their challenges like people anywhere else whether they are financial or personal.
Thanks for watching!
Honest criticism, is constructive criticism.
Complacency should not be tolerated, a progressive society does not stop looking out for each other.
I believe our laid backness comes from the Maori and Pacific Island cultures.
They have shown us that, while hard work is very important, family and enjoying life is even more important.
Life in NZ is too easy, is definitely an interesting talking point.
The goal, I think, is to make our lives more challenging/purposeful, not nessasery harder, without having to go backwards and giving up our quality of life.
As always, Massive Respect.
😀👍
Thank you for this video, I am kiwi and I've done a little traveling in the past, I'm not sure if these issues with people happen else where, so I can't comment on that, lol. I've struggled dealing with people most of my life, especially after leaving home and I've ended up back at home twice. I've always been a realistic, straightforward sort of person, but I'm also a down to earth, caring person and doesn't mind criticism (even thou' I have real bad anxiety and on the autism spectrum.)
What I've learnt about some people here - they always have to 1 up you on something. They don't like it when you have a different opinion to theirs. They'll happily hurt your feelings (even when you're in the right). They get upset whenever you confront them about something. They are defensive over something stupid and cry about anything. They'll start made up rumours. They are vain. They are very nosy and want to know everything about your personal life. They'll change the subject to make it about themselves. They'll happily bully you and gaslight you. They believe anything they hear instead of observing - like my friends believed everything my ex was saying, meanwhile only ONE friend actually observed I was being physically abused by him.
Oh and domestic violence is extremely bad here, the reason why you don't hear about it until it's too late, because some women like us are too afraid to speak up, for me I had death threats if I tried to leave him.
Honestly, I wish I learnt to grow more of a backbone, because I've let people walk all over me, I've been taught "treat everyone with kindness and treat people how you want to be treated", yeah I did that, it doesn't work, mum and dad, thanks.
This made me really sad reading this. I already had a backbone and a strong sense of self when I moved there which ofc put a target on my back from day 1, but I can't imagine how hard it must be being born there and not know any different thinking this is just how things are. You have enough integrity to see through the b /s, so dont be hard on yourself, you're a decent human being compared to the riffraff around you. My experience was near identical to yours, yet you'll still get enabler kiwis in the comments denying this t0xic $hyt3. And they wanna blame the su1c1de rates on the cost of living, lmao delusional.
What I would really like is for you to do a specific video on doing business in NZ (which can also relate to Australia). The cultural differences in business, aggressive vs passive, sales cycles being longer, non-confrontational, The way you sell in the US will not necessarily work in NZ/AU. The need for US management to accept there are cultural differences that seriously need to be taken into account as part of the sales cycle.
- I have been working for a Boston/NY software company for the past 2 1/2 years and they were used to a 3-month sales cycle. In Australia, it's 12-18 months and then you also have to factor in Covid. People in NZ and Australia also don't want to do demos at 8am in the morning...just to accommodate the US.
The company is now going to pull out of having representation in this region next month because they are too frustrated with the sales process being slower.
Such a shame, because their product is very much needed. I have spent so much time apologising when this is normal.
I know you have a bunch of video's that touch on these topics, but I'd love to have a single business video, I could point US companies to for a clearer understanding.
True for Australians not wanting to align to US timezones! Also, cultural differences do need to be taken into account. That'd be the reason Starbucks failed in Australia.
@@howlsatdesertmoon9840 Yes, agreed. I even used the Starbucks example on my boss in NY last week. He does not get it. He is a Long Island New Yorker, who has hardly travelled outside the US.
@@Sydney4680 Tell him not to start up an American-style chain of coffee houses in Australia! Australians (and kiwis to, I'd bet) are self-conscious of copying Americans which is ironic, given that's subconsciously often what we do culturally!
And the Australian obsession with US internal politics weirdly beats out even expat American interest in US politics!
Whaat? Who knew… haha. Well now after watching your video, I think you have pointed out some home truths Tara. I hope we’re getting mature enough to accept them and change for the better.
Love your channel! As an Aussie who loves NZ and New Zealanders, I do think as a nation NZ is a bit precious about their beloved ABs. I was in Keri Keri a few years ago when NZ was knocked out of the Rugby World Cup. The next morning NZ Herald front page was literally all black. But that's just a newspaper trying to boost sales. That night, we went to the local art house theatre to watch a great French film. Normally the cinema is packed, but there were only about a dozen people there. The proprietor came out and berated the nation for staying away from the film as a kind of boycott! Mind you, I also think Victorians take their AFL a bit too seriously. Gross generalisation, but hey whether it's rugby or Aussie Rules, it's just a game.
Hey man
Love Aussies so much!
As you point out, the difference between Aussies and kiwis is Aussies get loud for all night and day and get over it next day. In contrast, kiwis get sulky for next 1 month when they lose a game. Hahahahahaha ..
funny but true
Thanks for watching.
I really enjoy your channel, but this video is by far my favorite!! We can only improve the things we know about, so thanks for this. Great channel, by the way. ❤
NZ pride is enormous, making our way in the world where most people think we are too small to be important.
Our tall poppy syndrome & passive aggressive nature is our British roots of carry on and don't show your feelings is a negative thing not a positive. It is changing slowly, our mental health system is not working cause of this problem. Everything in NZ is still colonial . Still a young county and my family has been here in NZ since 1842 pioneer settlers.
Very expensive to live here. Agreed
Kia Ora, born & bred kiwi here totally agree. It takes someone from overseas to see and experience these things with a fresh perspective.
Some of this doesn't apply to none americans, a lot of us don't like americans here so lot of things you experienced was a loathing for your country.
I've lived here 21 years and married a kiwi and have to say you are spot on.
👍cheers
Some fair points, but as someone who has worked customer service, there are plenty of people here who are far from laidback and definitely not afraid of confrontation over even minor things. A minority but they're out there.
Yep totally agree!! Thanks for watching!
As to your last point about things being too easy. I've lived here in the US in the Midwest my whole life and I would have to say I feel the exact opposite of what you described. I've always felt challenged and I used to be okay with that and sometimes enjoy it. Now after about 25 years of being in the workforce its gotten to be common for me to be overwhelmed with challenges. I then find myself feeling like why try they'll just be another fire to put out tomorrow. I could go on and on but I won't. Thank you for sharing New Zealand through your channel. It looks better and better to me each day.
Oh man I totally understand and relate to what you are describing. It really feels like a hampster wheel! That overwhelming feeling and stress constantly is very hard. The being "too easy" was one persons perspective that has lived here much longer than me and I found it very interesting. Having experienced both, I would certainly choose the easier life :)
No one takes criticism of their country well. I've been to the States multiple times, and I've always made it a rule never to criticize the U.S.A. whilst I'm there. (And yes, sometimes I have to bite my tongue.) It's not that I haven't got criticisms of the States: I just save them up for when I get home!!!! (To where I know things aren't perfect.) As for your other points, particularly housing and food costs: you're correct. Government policy up until recently has favoured property owners, as they have been the majority of voters. Tax, investment and lending laws have fueled hyper-inflated property prices. But as more and more people become renters who desire home ownership, their sway at election time will become greater and influence government policy. As for food prices: 15% GST on food doesn't help, and the duopoly of supermarket chains (govt. currently making moves to break up) only worsens the problem. The other problems regarding the costs of everything: we lack economy of scale (5 mill. to the U.S.'s 330 mill.) whether we're manufacturing or importing, and we're a long way from everywhere.
Tim - totally agree that it is hard to get economies of scale in NZ! Thanks for watching!
Almost pissed my pants laughing at the first 2 !! Always great to hear another person's perspective ! In my experience as a young-ish Poly who was raised in a low socioeconomic area here in NZ and currently residing in South Auckland, I would have to say that although you are SPOT ON with that passive aggressive behaviour however Its predominately found in the Nicer aka Rich areas and especially in the workplace. I personally cannot stand it and prefer to throw hands then throw shade 🤣🤣🤣I dont condone violence but in all honesty, My physical wounds have healed 1000x quicker than the psychological ones 💯
Haha love this!!! Yes let's just all fight it out. Let's be done with talk it out
Thank goodness!! Perfection is so very boring!!
As a Kiwi, this video is great. It's great to hear an honest, well thought out, slight critique of New Zealand. No lies here! As someone who has been in leadership positions, the biggest issue with leadership in many companies is promotion through popularity and tenure. Both of these motivators, cause passive aggression. This is decreasing, but has been an issue for years! On being non-confrontational, this is a hangover from NZ's British past and definitely needs to change. Yes on the exports too!!!
Alex - thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Alex you do sound like truly needed leader in this country
Merci Beaucoup for your videos!!! So you're aware, many Maori and Pacific Islanders default to "Pakeha mode" when out of our circles. This version is a wantless, needless, agreeable, polite and well spoken. We are VERY candid and frank with family and friends. And, it brings me joy that you see our happiness. In my experience, New Zealanders have a dark history of violence seeping through them, we live at an emotional depth that enables us to connect deeply, kindly and empathetically with others, though makes us awfully hard on ourselves. Keep it up sister!!
62 year old Kiwi. Your point 1. Agree, way too sensitive. 2. I work in the public service and they are way too polite and don't say what needs to be said. 3. Yeah, no worries, all good! Agree. Stress is very unhealthy. Who is bleeding to death? No one so don't worry. 4. Agree, the cost of living is mad, mad. The place is gone nuts. We have a free trade agreement in which we promise not to subsidize our own produce. So we are competing with the international markets but we don't have the economies of scale to bulk buy. 5. Agree that we have forgotten how to push through and work hard. Also I think our soil is missing minerals that help with mental health. I agree about not dealing with the issues. Well said you. Not at all off base. I've tried to get my work place to me more direct but they just don't want to cause offence.
Well said. Can’t fault anything you said. Maybe it is the the negatives that lead to the positives and what has evolved as a society This is true of all countries and as an immigrant here as well feel Kiwis have kinda got it right. Thanks for all your videos. Yes we are not perfect but id rather be imperfect on NZ than any other place.
As a kiwi, I can confirm that these are are true. The last one is a very good point, I'd not really considered that before.
your first point can be said about the USA also, anything negative said about the US yanks get all cut up about it
Yep that is true! Thanks for watching!
Thought provoking topics that I appreciate you care enough to bring it up.
One of the most frustrating thing I find in the work place in NZ is that there is a lot of not getting to the point and get issues sorted. Too much worrying about hurting others feelings when in reality if we communicate with politeness, caring but firm towards another human being it can work 🙂
I feel Nz has an egalitarian culture which can be a good thing but the not so good tall poppy syndrome show the ugly side of NZ is that it discourages one not to be too outwardly proud of their personal achievements etc.really be proud and happy
I applaud you for your observations.
We never used to be this sensitive. The media has led us by the nose on this and other issues over the last 2 decades.
The passive-aggressive thing is the bad side of live and Iet live - this can be very frustrating for a business as Kiwis won't always say what they don't like about your service They'll simply never give you custom again
Things being expensive has long and ongoing reasons. some are external impositions - subsides and tariffs in international trade (especially agriculture ) and some are not - government regulations, CB monetary policy, stymied investment in productive sector due to the previous conditions (people can't think beyond housing)
Over all we are way too complacent
I totally get what you said...
For me, as an expat living in nz at the moment, I remember being shocked to hear they go on and on about living in "paradise" ... that sumps everything about how arrogant and ignorant NZ people are.
Great observations - You've been here long enough to give a perspective we should learn from.
I also think that, if you lived here long enough to see a few referendums, you'd probably have a sixth one on that list, which is that we are generally terrified of change.
Oh really - I have a seen a lot of progression in NZ.
Great video. You nailed it! I’ve been away from my beloved NZ for so long now, but the areas you lay out are so true - you especially notice them when you visit hone after being away for so long.
I think NZ is a country of small business. This is the incredible sweet spot vs corporate. My opinion.
We're a small country and we're finally learning to 'grow into our own skin'. We suffer from 'small country syndrome, we want everyone to like us.
Yep to the passive aggressive thing, it's a partner to out sarcastic humour.
Thanks for watching
Especially when everyone thinks we live in the shire. An American asked me if we have electricity :( we have a youngest sibling who just wants our older siblings to take us seriously thing going on
Number 5. Spot on❣I'm from South Africa, have been here for 13 years and agree 100% with you on this point. Kiwi's fear going deeper. Thanks for your courage to do these videos. God bless 💓
I think depending on the kiwi some take on that feedback really well, other not so much... Don't worry I don't like watties tomato sauce either it's disgusting
Me too, but I wouldn't call it disgusting. I like Vegemite more than Marmite too.
I don't like Watties tomato sauce either. I do like Barker's, though it is one of the more expensive ones.
Well done you're very much right as a kiwi I have to say you have done so much to promote NZ you have earned our love and respect and I think you're spot on with your comments we have a lot to improve on and we also have to except criticism better but I still love the place 🇳🇿👍
I always enjoy your commentary good and bad (which by the way must be a ratio of 98% good?!!). I have my own perspective as a. Maori in terms of our country and what has shaped us as a community but that’s a yarn for another day! Love the energy you have for life and learning.
Thanks for watching!
What u said is so true just keep the videos coming love to hear ur perspective they are honest and I totally agree and that’s cool
I strongly agree with how NZ handle issues here, like when you say issues are swept under the rug..In my observation, Some NZ management are really ambivalent..No offense meant..
wow... what a great channel you have n for a Kiwi following you it's amazing how much I'm learning from your honest perspective of us. The 'sensitive bit'...as Garth Rodgers pointed out, it's anywhere, but with us, we are a small town nation, who look for humility in people, so when an outsider makes a comment about us, we react to 'who do they think they are' syndrome. I appreciate the exposure cos I live in Australia n am a proud Kiwi following you.... Orsum
Awe thanks so much for the kind comments! Thanks for watching
I agree whole-heartedly with all but the first point. It’s not that I think you’re wrong… it’s just that I think that’s a trait you’ll find whereever you go. If I were to say to an American in American that I think your gun laws are ridiculous … or your politics etc, I wouldn’t have to go far to find someone suggesting that if I don’t like it I’m free to take the first flight out. Same in the UK or Australia.
As far as food prices are concerned… it is criminal. I can buy NZ milk for a lower price in Australia than I can here. We are the victims of a duopoly running our supermarkets. The Govt needs to either break them up or help fund some new competitors into the market.
The house price issue is caused by exactly the issues you outline…. And because there is no capital gains tax on houses so investors pour their money into property.
We are way too sensitive and soft in a lot of issues. Anything confrontational is to be discouraged.
Great video … bring more like this one ☝️
I remember the Australian comedian, Jim Jefferies, made a show out of US gun laws. One of his bits was about being harrassed in a carpark after shows with, 'You can't change the second amendment', to which his reply was,'Yeah, you can... That's why they're called amendments'.
Bryan - I appreciate your perspective here and will reflect on that. I agree that anyone can be sensitive about things that are important to them. I pointed out that even the little things are sensitive to criticism like sausage or tomato sauce.
An honest video. Never need to apologise for caring honesty. It's called "being mature". Keep it up.
Intelligent objective criticism is healthy. This may shock you: I first went to NZ 50 years ago & I found then kiwis were defensive, which may be interpreted as sensitive if their country is 'critised in a not so flattering way', even if an objective comment is made about the country.
I encountered snide criticism & not so friendly bullying about my accent. It wasn't just in 1 place it was everywhere I went & I travelled the whole country. So yes you are correct kiwis are touchy about themselves & their country. The only explanation for it might be that it's a small country & the people of NZ might harbour a slight inferiority complex.
Absolutely agree! Constructive criticism should be encouraged and regarded as something more progressive and healthy in any context.
By the way Christelle where are you from?
I am an American and have lived and worked in NZ and from my perspective, even though New Zealanders are incredibly polite the dark side of that is they are generally very repressed...and then any negativity will come out in non-direct ways, but believe me it will come out...the avoidant strategy is in full effect...and so you might be ostracized or outcast yet have absolutely no idea why because they will not be direct enough with you or confront any uncomfortable emotion to your face.
One of the most telling things is they are very rude behind the wheel and will honk and flip off in the car very readily...why because that is anonymous and is a good way to tell if someone has bottled up emotion.
Yes, I think this is a spot on assessment overall! I think the suicide/depression stuff is totally linked with the emotional repression and getting emotionally stuck and all the fallout from that...
I could not agree more! It is all bottled up
I actually do agree with you 🤣🤣 Im an indigenous Māori from Auckland
Deffs agree, alot of sensitive people and sensitive to negative comments especially if its from someone they don’t know. I love honesty and criticism, but personal opinions is different though. It really is just watching what you say really but can still be straightforward. Alot stems from insecurities of not being enough because we don’t know any better
Hi. Fair, balanced and accurate. Well done
Thanks for watching!
Wow! I think your list was very insightful well thought out and spot on!
I am a kiwi who lived in the US for 12 years (really enjoyed my time there) and I also thought you were spot on with your US list.
Thanks for the really good thought provoking content!
Awe very kind! Thanks for your encouragement!
TBH #2 and #3 make me less anxious about the possibility of working in a New Zealand office in future lmao. Almost all of my working life has been spent working for offshore companies.
Re #4, GO OFF!!!!!
Re #5…no. Just no. You say yourself that the cost of living is high here; what ramifications do you think that has for poorer people? Please listen to what our activists are saying, both mental health activists and general social justice activists. Don’t confuse the complacency of many middle class people with a lack of real problems that would drive people to kill themselves.
100% on the #5. Being poor here is hell and you are immensely shamed for needing to get help from the government and getting mental health help is not only a huge taboo but it’s also extremely hard to come by (in a quality, affordable setting.) Basically if you are struggling, you are absolutely socially not allowed to mention it. And even if you talk about being severely depressed to someone, they usually give you an awkward look and try to get away from the conversation instead of being empathetic or trying to help. It’s actually awful.
Agree with some of the comments I think Kiwis prefer to sort out 'one on one' rather than in a meeting situation with others around.
Kia Ora, unfortunately, I would have to agree, way too easy but unlike our sister cousins from over the ditch, Aussies are more laid back. I won't lie but it's true
Though not kiwi born I grew up in New Zealand and love this country. Whilst I prefer living here to anywhere else in the world, I agree we have many problems, given that no country is perfect.
We're a work-in-progress.
Love your channel. Thanks for sharing your insights.
You were spot on with Kiwis being passive aggressive and sensitive. I never swear at people or call them names but because I always say what I think I’m considered rude in NZ. Its frustrating knowing people judge me for having an opinion but they have an opinion to so why can’t we just hear each other without becoming upset?
This is soooo very true - I have that problem too.
So do I and I have lived here since I was 6 years old, hehe 😊 I'm German and Japanese but probably more German in terms of my communication style as my mum spent 17 years in Germany and is direct herself.
Even in the workplace, suggestions have often not been welcome. I was told I need to say..."I was just wondering..." rather than getting straight to the point. I do say "please" and "thank you" a lot so it's not that I'm impolite.
So true, but I think the people getting annoyed at negative things, we just don't like negativity?
Passive aggressive and confrontation is a big problem here. Some customers and colleagues drive me nuts!
I think the comments are fair.
Thanks for watching!
I think Kiwi's being offended at criticism of the country, etc, is because it's seen as very rude and we don't do this when we go overseas. It's seen as much the same as going to dinner at someones house and telling them their child is ugly. When we are overseas we might have something pointed out to us by a local that we think is just terrible. Such as, an Australian pointing to the landscape and stating it's beautiful, whereas to us, we are used to, quite frankly, stunning colourful scenery, so we are thinking, it's dreary, brown and severely dehydrated. But, to be polite, we smile and agree, so as not to hurt their feelings. Same with UK beaches. To a Kiwi, these look like somewhere you'd go to commit suicide, but we smile and say yes it's nice, while on the inside we are truly horrified. We keep our criticisms of other countries and their cultures to ourselves while we are there and would only state what we truly think, to other Kiwi's we come across there, or perhaps other immigrants/travellers, trusting they'll keep it confidential. So, you see, it's not insecurity. It's cultural politeness and you'll find this the same with anyone from a South Pacific island. Visitors and new people are supposed to be polite. I believe it's the same in the Middle East, but much worse. If someone serves you a goats head for dinner, you are expected to eat it and compliment the meal, no matter what you think and even if you're a vegetarian!
Get over yourself
It is not cultural politeness
You people in NZ are not polite!! They are very passive aggressive and sulky
@@neversayneveragain3748 hehe the Kiwi hater has returned
@@rp7784 Yes I am back. Thank you for welcoming me mate.
But seriously if you ever lived in many different countries with various culture and history and of course people with different mindsets (like a lot of European countries or Asians etc) you will probably understand more why I hate it here
@@neversayneveragain3748 I've lived in over 25 countries, some of them worse than New Zealand.
Your hatred for NZ is your "opinion" but your views are spite, if you hate it so much why waste your time trolling this comment section and just move away?
@@rp7784 you did live in 25 countries????? And yet you still sound like typically defensive and sensitive kiwi!!! You could have said there are much better countries than NZ rather than there are many worse countries than NZ. That is what I am talking about here. You people are so insecure, arrogant and ignorant with that super defensive attitudes. Patheric
But the rationalisation for being 'confrontational' is to stop pressure building up - yet it is not NZ who has school shootings and 'going postal'.
It's because we practice politeness that when we we criticize we don't want to hurt the other person where you Americans seem to think "There can be only one winner" We'd rather work together as a group, constructive criticism ( in a private setting that doesn't embarrass the person and not tear strips off people in front of their co-workers just to make yourself feel good, we don't do that)
You can confront without being rude.
Good on you for speaking out from your perspective, I think all your comments are spot on
Awe thanks!
Not being offensive but in general New Zealanders don't want to hear Americans putting down their country because Americans are seen as the bullies of the world and we are happy living where we are!
On and on and on ...
Do you really think Americans give a fcck about what you think about them????
NZ is so isolated and insignificant country to them. Get over it man
Good review… I’m an Aussie working for NZ company, have visited few times, but not lived in NZ. In Aus all very similar, including the cost of living and cost of home ownership. In Melbourne +$1M for an average suburban home, more in Sydney. This has changed over the past decade.
This. I'm originally from Sydney and now live in NZ. Sydney is stupidly expensive.
I think people are scared of expanding housing because people will lose value on their houses. I totally agree though we need to do something at this point I feel like I could not only never own a house but even afford to rent a house for myself. I'm stuck boarding with other people :(
Oh man that is hard to not have your own space!! Thanks for watching.
Go to Aussie and work hard
You will be able to have your own home which is much cheaper and nicer than your average shitty houses in nz
@@neversayneveragain3748 Cheaper not necessarily.
Nicer depends where you live, but the wages are good.
Do you still live in NZ?