Having BPD feels like being a child in an adult body searching for a mother. Being permanently isolated from real life and lost by all friends who walked out on you...Lonely, disorientated & empty. Then intense emotions that get so extreme. As my last relationship walked out on me, it felt like physical pain. Not for weeks, but for months. Drunk, intoxicated by a cocktail of rapid changing emotions.
Until I was diagnosed yesterday I thought I was alone in the world. Sitting here listening to these people has made me realise that I can get through this. I love you all xo
My wife has BPD. If it's your kid with BPD the dynamics of the relationship are different from it being your spouse. If it's a spouse, there is a certain unfairness to it. I do everything from cleaning to the bills and still I am person in the front row getting splattered with the watermelon guts. The rage always eventually gets directed at me for being a lousy husband. My days begin with prayer for patience, courage and a mindfulness of who I live with. A very hard road to travel.
I read a very interesting article in the New York Times about a woman with BPD who had taken low-paying jobs for years because she thought her BPD would make it impossible to function in a high-powered job. She came to realise that it was important to consider not only whether she was a good fit for the job, but whether the job was a good fit for her. She now has a job that makes use of her considerable intelligence and talent, & is able to manage her BPD so it doesn't interfere with her work.
I have BPD and I have a lot of empathy it is often what leads to my destructive behavior is the guilt I feel towards other people. Lack of empathy is not in the criteria for the diagnosis of Borderline so to assume that all of us have a narcissistic tendency is false.
Watching this has been a humbling experience for me. The next time I want to automatically label and judge someone as being a drama queen, emotionally unstable or just plain nuts ~ I will be thinking about it with compassion and understanding. I always thought that cutting and hurting yourself was completely insane but now I understand...
My mother has BPD. I have been left with NO CHOICE but to sever my relationship with her after years of begging her to get help. She refuses to seek ANY sort of treatment to this day. I've chosen to move on with my life and protect me and my family from her abusiveness. She will never change (she's getting worse) and I've accepted that. I suffer from complex PTSD, OCD and severe depression and it's due to the abuse I suffered at the hands of a BPD mother. If you have BPD-GET HELP!
BPD is a very serious mental disorder and my mom has one but she has never been treated. It affects not only the sufferers but also those who care about them and love them are also affected.
Back from the hospital today diagnosed for a second time with BPD and I cannot express how much I want BPD to be made aware to people in the UK there is not enough attention on this disorder.
I ended up using this video to try to inform my mother that I'd been diagnosed while away at University.. she said my behaviour finally made sense and apologized for the way she had treated me while I lived with her. Thank you so much for posting this- It's always a comfort to know that one is not alone.
I was misdiagnosed for 5 years by Psychiatry. They said I had depression, GAD, SAD, bi polar... finally my friend read about BPD in her psychology class. She told me about it, I told my psychiatrist about it and therapist about it. They "diagnosed me" with BPD. For some reason they don't like to diagnose someone with that disorder. That is what they told me. They told me most of the medications I had been on throughout my 5 different psychiatrists, most make BPD worse. I am glad I am ok now. :)
You are correct. I've read and heard first hand from sufferers that just the word "borderline" causes stereotyping and negative projecting straight away. A friend who went to the hospital overheard a nurse in the emergency room telling another nurse , as if rolling her eyes , "o great, borderline." It seems that sufferers are just seen as crying wolf. She was viewed as just being manipulative when she really needed help. It's not right.
When I first saw this video I cried because it described me perfectly but that's also when I decided I'm not going to feel like Shit because of a lousy personality disorder it sucks but I can still smile
I can relate to what they're saying about people thinking that they have everything together. Most people I talk to don't believe that someone as nice and as intelligent as I am could have mental illness. If I say, "I have borderline personality disorder" they say, "No, I don't think so."
This is most accurate info on BPD that I have ever found. On the Internet it is hard to find accurate and non-stigmatizing information, and easy to find misconceptions, warnings, and cruel comments such as "BPD sufferers are God's mistakes". I spent years overcoming the symptoms, and it kills me that some people never get help living intensely painful lives. We are good, loving people. We just have unique emotional needs that are almost impossible for others to meet, and for us to have met.
I struggled with BPD in my teens, and spent years learning how to manage the symptoms. Sometimes I'd like to share things that have helped me if that's ok. *FIRST I had to accept that people weren't always being insensitive to me. I was acting on irrational, emotional needs that people just weren't able to meet. To expect them to was unfair. I had to change my behaviors and expectations of others in order that my needs might be met in life. Hope means having *HUMILITY*. (It's me, not you). ;0)
Hi, I'm a 25 year old female and I was diagnosed with BPD early this year. I have to say that although I am now able to understand why I had felt "alone", unhappy and useless from childhood to my current age, I have to disagree about feeling 'relieved" with the diagnoses. When my doctor told me I had BPD, it felt like that my life had just been confirmed as a dead end of being unhappy and unstable. I thought the diagnoses of what I had was worse than the anxiety/depression I had been living with
I worked with a subsequently diagnosed Borderline. The social damage in the workplace, family, community at large and to himself was beyond description. This is serious disorder for those involved. Help only arrived when things got utterly dreadful and out of control. I was previously entirely unaware of this condition, more education is needed in this area.
For decades I lived with my ex's raging emotions, tirades, lies, punishments over real and perceived slights and repeated bizarre and unfounded accusations. I knew for years that there was something wrong - she was dealing very badly with the issues that haunted her but she would never admit to a problem. I finally saw a professional who suggested she had BPD. Unfortunately, my ex is still in denial. I wish she had the foresight of the people in this video to seek help. Life would be easier.
This video has made me find a least one hour's complete peace in my life. BPD is something that is actually still not taken seriously be many GP's and doctors and I know full well how hard it is to suffer with this condition for years and to be told that I'm not normal and I'm exaggerating how I feel for attention. I am just... so... SO relieved to think that out there, somewhere, are people like me who may one day be able to understand what it was like to be me, and visa versa.
I am thanking God that I had a moment of clarity long enough to remember that I have BPD and I'm not just an asshole. So I youtubed BPD and I'm so glad I did. I finally have a way to explain to my fiance and the people who love me what this is, that is real, and how to accept me. For instance, When I say "I feel like I am on the edge, so please back off, you are hurting me not helping" for them to understand that I am not trying to be mean, I'm trying to spare them of my irrationality or rage.
I dated a guy with BPD once. It was nearly impossible to deal with him. On top of my own issues with Manic Depression, etc. We were like a pot of toxic mess and we couldn't stand eachother, yet we couldn't live without eachother. It sucks.
my dad has BPD. it has ruined his marriage and his relationship with my sister and i. we tried to send him to a doctor but he refused any help at all, and refused to admit that there was anything wrong with him. i love my dad but i find it very hard to talk to him. i hope one day that he can work through it and i can have a relation with him again.
You're welcome. As we mentioned a few times before, this is the most watched video on our channel so you are certainly not alone. We're glad we could be some help to you. -NYP
I just re-watched this video for the umpteenth time to reassure myself how much I've grown since beginning dbt. over a year ago... in life uncomfortable and painful situations will arise and i have self doubt and question if i'm handling myself effectively? I'M PROUD OF MYSELF TODAY ~ I HAVE THE SKILLS TO NOT ONLY REASSURE BUT "KNOW" I'VE MADE WISE CHOICES TODAY !!! SOO GRATEFUL FOR THIS VIDEO !!!
I was diagnosed with BPD also, but anyone that knows me thinks it's a misdiagnosis. I was horribly abused all of my life, which makes me have a "skewed" (doctor's words, not mine) view of myself. Yes, I do view others as more important than I am, but seriously, what's wrong with that? No, I don't see myself as attractive, but is it so wrong compared to others who look into a mirror and say "I'm so beautiful!" all the time? I put others first because I was always taught that selfishness is wrong, and if I put others before myself, that maybe I can do something to help change the world.
What was really bad being a person with BPD was having parents who knew I had this and they still kept telling me things like "Shape up" and "Stop being so childish" and "Grow up and stop being a baby." It was rough... This video is great and it does a great job in laying the foundation of what BPD is. I have my own theory on people with BPD that goes beyond what science and medical profs say is BPD though that includes a lot of metaphysical and spiritual ideas.
I believe myself to be a sufferer of BPD, and I will acknowledge that all of this information may be true, however, to TRULY felt more secure, I just stopped thinking about my emptiness, irritability and inability to be stable. I do things that make me happy, and instead of being anxious and doubting the happiness that an activity might bring me, I enveloped every bit of happiness I could squeeze from whatever I was doing. The trick isn't to focus on how unhappy you are, how happy you are.
I am amazed with such gratitude with this video. I developed BPD at 14 after a major double trauma about 2 months apart. I've been in recovery since 2005. I know that it was DBT that saved my life. Prior to DBT, I was in the hospital every other month for chronic suicide tendancies and 2 over doses. This is awesome.. Thank you
Maybe I'm just crazy, but I would love to see my childhood abusers go to jail, pay emotional damages, etc for child abuse. Its preposterous that sex abuse victims can prosecute an abuser from 20 years ago, yet if its any other form of child abuse you cannot have any justice, meanwhile living in a mental hellhole. I am a gorgeous woman reduced to paid companion due to this illness, and no justice for the one who caused it...
As someone with BPD, I can say we can be frustrating to our loved ones, so it's cool. BPD is still fairly recent (mainly in the past 30-50 years) so there isn't a lot known. There is no medication for it, and (with me) some meds made the issue worse. You really don't notice how you treat people sometimes. My bf started mirroring what I was doing to him, and it's helped me try to recognize when I'm going off the deep end.
thank you to the brave individuals and their family members who shared their stories, and the professionals who understand this diagnosis. Marsha L. you are a ray of light in so many peoples lives all over the world.
Borderline is a disorder that where the sufferer suffers feelings of deep seeded worthlessness, self doubt and loathing due to childhood abuse, whereas bi polar is a biological disorder characterized by extreme mood swings that can vary from from deep depression to manic highs. I know one person with bi-polar and know or have met over 20 people with BPD. I think it is way under-diagnosed which is a shame because it is treatable. Really needs to be awareness campaign for this condition.
thankyou so much. i still feel like such a burden to everyone in my life but im trying to get better. its not fair that the people who love me have to suffer and the people that wanted to love me couldnt because i cant regulate my emotions.
Awesome watch, I suffer or live with BPD-Dialetic therapy has helped but I still struggle with the willingness to keep on using it.I have been on that bridge, done the pill route and man does it suck.My family works with me, my children who also have disorders or sometimes called creative episodes.I thoroughly enjoyed the video and know there is hope.
I do sometimes. I have to be really in the mood to go out. But I love them all so much regardless, I hope they know that. I just find solitude much more bearable.
I suffer from BPD and you bringing up no childhood/parent emotion acknowledgment hit a string. I'll bring it up to my therapist since apparently she hasn't really touched the subject...
The single most important video to watch for anyone suffering from, or working with these people. I am a recovered bpd and now a student nurse, I struggle to explain this illness to others, now I direct them to this film! Fantastic! Ps for anyone who is suffering, get help but also search online for self help and learn more about the illness, you are so much stronger than you feel! X
Such a huge trigger! Been hospitalized 5 times, attempted suicide numerous times. Im uninsured & living w/ my family who thinks im lazy & spoiled. I just want to get back on my feet but Im having such a hard time finding help in NY to get the skills to finish school, find steady work & build lasting, healthy relationships. I dont want to talk about it anymore, I want to do something about it but dont know if its possible anymore. Its torture!
Great vid. Helps me to be more empathetic about the devastation of a 12 year failed marriage/family. Her actions are "unforgivable" in the sense that she would NEVER forgive me for such transgressions, yet EXPECTS me to forgive & reconcile. It is SO hard. I loved her, she never believed it, sought validation elsewhere. I regret never KNOWING my ex after 20 years of dating/marriage. Dual life. BPDs: Pls let YOUrself to be known to your mate. You will find an ally. Don't then destroy that ally.
I am so grateful I found this video because, as A. says, it helps me not to feel so alone and completely, out of this world. I now live in Spain, and mental problems are 'not excepted here', and it is true that you need the right person, that understands this illness but that you can also feel comfortable with, and that is very difficult to find. Nevertheless, I am going to try very hard, because I think, after this hell, I deserve some healing and some peace, because I am tired to the bone.
The only criteria I do not meet out of the nine is the anger. I hardly ever experience explosive anger. Infact‚ the fact my anger manifests as extreme despair or sadness worries me. I can't even seem to get angry when it is completely necessary and justified.
This is one of the best videos I have seen on borderline personality disorder. I studied under Marsha Linehan and her points are especially helpful. It also has good testimonials of what it feels like to have Borderline Personality Disorder. Steve Bloem Co-author Broken Minds.
Cont: BPD on the other hand is thought to have its underlying roots in early childhood often stemming from prolonged traumatic or difficult experiences (not always often the case) but causing the brain chemistry or biological processes that play key parts in emotional, behavioural and cognitive development to some how change than leading to a long-term pattern of maladaptive behaviours cont:
This so describes me. I find myself taking on things people like, even if I don't like it. If I have an opinion, most likely I keep it to myself because I get knocked down for speaking up. If I show emotions for the most part I am told to grow up and be mature or that I can't cry because I don't have a reason to. Thanks for posting this. I was recently diagnosed with this and wanted to have a better understanding of this and it helps because it gives different examples and experiences.
I am so thankful for this video. It made me cry because of how much I could relate to it. I'm not currently diagnosed, but I have been thinking for a while that I have BPD. I don't want to self-diagnose myself, but I identify with these people's stories and the criteria so, so well. This just really makes me feel less alone and like there are people out there who can understand me. This video made me realize that I think it's time for me to take that first step in getting help, so thank you.
This was so enlightening, educational and very moving. It's just patients and doctors and other experts talking but in an informed, educated and very frank way. I learned and gained so much from this. Thank you.
Great video. I'm 43 an been dealing with this my whole life. It's a wonder I'm still here. I've never been treated or diagnosed. On the outside, I've held it "together" enough. Towards my family and relationships, I've torn them to shreds. However, my parents are the only one's that have managed to somewhat convence me they love me, note that I said somewhat, so I still don't buy it 100%. Ha! I have noticed that the older I get the harder "it" is getting to manage myself. Resigned Outlier.
Wow, I cannot explain how helpful this was. Thank you so much for posting this. I have such a better understanding of this and I want to get help. For the longest time I felt as if I didn't exist as if I was constantly changing. I don't feel alone anymore...I hope others with BPD feel compelled like me to get help...no one deserves to live with this
This is an amazing movie, I'm so glad someone told me about this. I just wish you had this around with Hebrew subtitles so I could show it to my parents and maybe finally make them truely understand what I have to live with.Most probably it's my BPD speaking but somehow you made me want to stand up and do something so BPD patients will be more recognaized in my country, and that there will be more places to go to for help.
This is simply an outstanding video. It is one of the first that I have seen that so clearly describes the experience of BPD, especially with what could be called a higher functioning BPD population. Combining the experiences of these courageous individuals, with commentary from these leading clinicians in the field, makes this an extraordinary video. Many thanks to Dr. Linehan, along with the other clinicians, and to the men and women in this video that explain so well the experience of BPD.
Thank you so much for posting this. As someone living with BPD, I find this video informative and crucial to watch for anyone who wants to gain some insight into what it's like to be on the other side of the coin and just try to survive one day at a time. Watching this helps me feel a little less alone and puts my feelings into rational words. Thank you and bravo to all the speakers.
I have been diagnosed with BPD five months ago, but I have struggled all my life with the symtons of it (I'm 39yrs now). I have a good education, MSc-degree, and are very good at speaking in front of others, at least on a good day. I'd consider myself high-functioning on a good day, and a nervous wreck and on the edge of selv-destruction and suivide on my bad days. I also have "normal" days. I have learned to reflect on myself, explain myself. That is what the persons in the video do, too.
This hits very, very close to home. I can't even begin to describe how incredibly relevant this is to my life. On one hand, I'm very thankful that I'm not the only one that goes through this... on the other, it makes me question myself further. :/
yes, I can be really happy, just as intensely as I can feel sadness, despair, and disconnected from all around me. This is a very dignity-honoring Documentary. Usually the up-loads are almost bullish of B.p.d. Where the Video makers attitude seems sensationalized. One such person on you tube, was in glee over how INTO sexual activity B.p.d sufferers can become. This Documentary portrays intelligently both the P.O.V of the sufferer, and the Psychology behind it, I like that they do not assume.
Astonishing video. To have this now, through this medium, is truly wonderful. 30 years ago you were lazy, moody, and disruptive--"unreasonable". We've come a long way...I'm still "unreasonable" but happier about it.
This video is very good to watch for myself. I have bpd and its so hard living day to day with it. Most people just dont get me or it. The wanting to fit and never fitting has been there for so long.Im learning that its part of who I am and to live with it by knowing it will never go away. My husband is so understanding and knows what its like to live with me like this. I would fall so hard and bad if not for him being there for me.
it is very hard living with this. my family does not understand and does not want to. the only one that does is my 11 yr old daughter. she is my angel. not much more to say the that except i know i am not alone. i am also taking a class in DBT and I LOVE IT. it has made a big change in me. thank you. with hope now, suzie
This is true, I know that when I was confronted with this diagnosis I saw the criteria as nothing more than a list of my own screw-ups and inadequacies. But then after a few years I have come to realize that every single of those criteria are linked to my childhood and the dysfunctional coping mechanisms I developed due to trauma. Being able to connect the dots felt empowering. For that reason I do not consider it an umbrella term for difficult cases. It is all relevant.
I was diagnosed a few years ago. Listening to this and having done research on it. Im almost relieved to hear other people saying things that I say. Im not the only one. No one really understands it.
I went to to DBT therapy for two years in Seattle. It has saved my life. I Am so glad I found this video. I was Burning myself and slicing ...ready to die. DBT saved my life.
thank u 2the people that made this programme..... 10yrs after being diagnosed n left 2deal with a situation i didnt understand i finaly c hope n realise im nt alone :) a HUGE thank you x
I am so tired of having BPD, this made me cry I just want relief... I am learning to cope and manage my emotions but every day is still a struggle. I am still only alive because my family wants me to be alive but I'd rather be dead. I went to NY Presbyterian 2 years ago and was diagnosed with BPD... I don't have every symptom though just a lot...
Having BPD feels like being a child in an adult body searching for a mother. Being permanently isolated from real life and lost by all friends who walked out on you...Lonely, disorientated & empty.
Then intense emotions that get so extreme. As my last relationship walked out on me, it felt like physical pain. Not for weeks, but for months. Drunk, intoxicated by a cocktail of rapid changing emotions.
Until I was diagnosed yesterday I thought I was alone in the world. Sitting here listening to these people has made me realise that I can get through this. I love you all xo
My wife has BPD. If it's your kid with BPD the dynamics of the relationship are different from it being your spouse. If it's a spouse, there is a certain unfairness to it. I do everything from cleaning to the bills and still I am person in the front row getting splattered with the watermelon guts. The rage always eventually gets directed at me for being a lousy husband. My days begin with prayer for patience, courage and a mindfulness of who I live with. A very hard road to travel.
I've gotten so much better and I am so proud of myself.
I read a very interesting article in the New York Times about a woman with BPD who had taken low-paying jobs for years because she thought her BPD would make it impossible to function in a high-powered job. She came to realise that it was important to consider not only whether she was a good fit for the job, but whether the job was a good fit for her. She now has a job that makes use of her considerable intelligence and talent, & is able to manage her BPD so it doesn't interfere with her work.
I have BPD and I have a lot of empathy it is often what leads to my destructive behavior is the guilt I feel towards other people. Lack of empathy is not in the criteria for the diagnosis of Borderline so to assume that all of us have a narcissistic tendency is false.
Watching this has been a humbling experience for me. The next time I want to automatically label and judge someone as being a drama queen, emotionally unstable or just plain nuts ~ I will be thinking about it with compassion and understanding. I always thought that cutting and hurting yourself was completely insane but now I understand...
My mother has BPD. I have been left with NO CHOICE but to sever my relationship with her after years of begging her to get help. She refuses to seek ANY sort of treatment to this day. I've chosen to move on with my life and protect me and my family from her abusiveness. She will never change (she's getting worse) and I've accepted that. I suffer from complex PTSD, OCD and severe depression and it's due to the abuse I suffered at the hands of a BPD mother. If you have BPD-GET HELP!
BPD is a very serious mental disorder and my mom has one but she has never been treated. It affects not only the sufferers but also those who care about them and love them are also affected.
Back from the hospital today diagnosed for a second time with BPD and I cannot express how much I want BPD to be made aware to people in the UK there is not enough attention on this disorder.
I ended up using this video to try to inform my mother that I'd been diagnosed while away at University.. she said my behaviour finally made sense and apologized for the way she had treated me while I lived with her. Thank you so much for posting this- It's always a comfort to know that one is not alone.
This seems to affect a number of people so you're not alone. We hope the video was some help to you. Best wishes. - NYP
I'm balling my eyes out. This video says so many things I haven't been able to say....
20 years later and I still keep my DBT cards in my purse. It realy does help you cope.
I was misdiagnosed for 5 years by Psychiatry. They said I had depression, GAD, SAD, bi polar... finally my friend read about BPD in her psychology class. She told me about it, I told my psychiatrist about it and therapist about it. They "diagnosed me" with BPD. For some reason they don't like to diagnose someone with that disorder. That is what they told me. They told me most of the medications I had been on throughout my 5 different psychiatrists, most make BPD worse. I am glad I am ok now. :)
All the good things to fellow BPD sufferers.
Very good documentary.
You are correct. I've read and heard first hand from sufferers that just the word "borderline" causes stereotyping and negative projecting straight away. A friend who went to the hospital overheard a nurse in the emergency room telling another nurse , as if rolling her eyes , "o great, borderline." It seems that sufferers are just seen as crying wolf. She was viewed as just being manipulative when she really needed help. It's not right.
you're never too old to start learning about yourself :)
When I first saw this video I cried because it described me perfectly but that's also when I decided I'm not going to feel like Shit because of a lousy personality disorder it sucks but I can still smile
I can relate to what they're saying about people thinking that they have everything together. Most people I talk to don't believe that someone as nice and as intelligent as I am could have mental illness. If I say, "I have borderline personality disorder" they say, "No, I don't think so."
This is most accurate info on BPD that I have ever found. On the Internet it is hard to find accurate and non-stigmatizing information, and easy to find misconceptions, warnings, and cruel comments such as "BPD sufferers are God's mistakes". I spent years overcoming the symptoms, and it kills me that some people never get help living intensely painful lives. We are good, loving people. We just have unique emotional needs that are almost impossible for others to meet, and for us to have met.
This is by far the best BPD documentary I have seen.
It's very hard to have a relationship with those suffering from this; having it must be a nightmare.
I struggled with BPD in my teens, and spent years learning how to manage the symptoms. Sometimes I'd like to share things that have helped me if that's ok. *FIRST I had to accept that people weren't always being insensitive to me. I was acting on irrational, emotional needs that people just weren't able to meet. To expect them to was unfair. I had to change my behaviors and expectations of others in order that my needs might be met in life. Hope means having *HUMILITY*. (It's me, not you). ;0)
I'm so glad to have found this video. Its very encouraging to know that I'm not alone. We're not alone.
I found walking to and from work has helped my depression lessen.
So nice to FINALLY figure out what was wrong after 32 yrs.
Hi, I'm a 25 year old female and I was diagnosed with BPD early this year. I have to say that although I am now able to understand why I had felt "alone", unhappy and useless from childhood to my current age, I have to disagree about feeling 'relieved" with the diagnoses. When my doctor told me I had BPD, it felt like that my life had just been confirmed as a dead end of being unhappy and unstable. I thought the diagnoses of what I had was worse than the anxiety/depression I had been living with
I have BPD, it's pure hell. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but for some reason this is really hard to watch.
I worked with a subsequently diagnosed Borderline. The social damage in the workplace, family, community at large and to himself was beyond description. This is serious disorder for those involved. Help only arrived when things got utterly dreadful and out of control. I was previously entirely unaware of this condition, more education is needed in this area.
For decades I lived with my ex's raging emotions, tirades, lies, punishments over real and perceived slights and repeated bizarre and unfounded accusations. I knew for years that there was something wrong - she was dealing very badly with the issues that haunted her but she would never admit to a problem. I finally saw a professional who suggested she had BPD. Unfortunately, my ex is still in denial. I wish she had the foresight of the people in this video to seek help. Life would be easier.
As someone with BPD, I found this very helpful - thank you
This video has made me find a least one hour's complete peace in my life. BPD is something that is actually still not taken seriously be many GP's and doctors and I know full well how hard it is to suffer with this condition for years and to be told that I'm not normal and I'm exaggerating how I feel for attention.
I am just... so... SO relieved to think that out there, somewhere, are people like me who may one day be able to understand what it was like to be me, and visa versa.
I am thanking God that I had a moment of clarity long enough to remember that I have BPD and I'm not just an asshole. So I youtubed BPD and I'm so glad I did. I finally have a way to explain to my fiance and the people who love me what this is, that is real, and how to accept me. For instance, When I say "I feel like I am on the edge, so please back off, you are hurting me not helping" for them to understand that I am not trying to be mean, I'm trying to spare them of my irrationality or rage.
The "lady" in this video is Dr Marsha Linehan, who in fact has BPD herself.
I dated a guy with BPD once. It was nearly impossible to deal with him.
On top of my own issues with Manic Depression, etc.
We were like a pot of toxic mess and we couldn't stand eachother, yet we couldn't live without eachother.
It sucks.
This documentary literally describes my life. This is perfect. Thank you for this.
This was seriously a life-changing movie for me. Thank you.
my dad has BPD. it has ruined his marriage and his relationship with my sister and i. we tried to send him to a doctor but he refused any help at all, and refused to admit that there was anything wrong with him. i love my dad but i find it very hard to talk to him. i hope one day that he can work through it and i can have a relation with him again.
You're welcome. As we mentioned a few times before, this is the most watched video on our channel so you are certainly not alone. We're glad we could be some help to you. -NYP
I just re-watched this video for the umpteenth time to reassure myself how much I've grown since beginning dbt. over a year ago... in life uncomfortable and painful situations will arise and i have self doubt and question if i'm handling myself effectively? I'M PROUD OF MYSELF TODAY ~ I HAVE THE SKILLS TO NOT ONLY REASSURE BUT "KNOW" I'VE MADE WISE CHOICES TODAY !!! SOO GRATEFUL FOR THIS VIDEO !!!
I was diagnosed with BPD also, but anyone that knows me thinks it's a misdiagnosis. I was horribly abused all of my life, which makes me have a "skewed" (doctor's words, not mine) view of myself. Yes, I do view others as more important than I am, but seriously, what's wrong with that? No, I don't see myself as attractive, but is it so wrong compared to others who look into a mirror and say "I'm so beautiful!" all the time? I put others first because I was always taught that selfishness is wrong, and if I put others before myself, that maybe I can do something to help change the world.
What was really bad being a person with BPD was having parents who knew I had this and they still kept telling me things like "Shape up" and "Stop being so childish" and "Grow up and stop being a baby." It was rough...
This video is great and it does a great job in laying the foundation of what BPD is. I have my own theory on people with BPD that goes beyond what science and medical profs say is BPD though that includes a lot of metaphysical and spiritual ideas.
Yes not all BPDs are suicidal and cut themselves.
I believe myself to be a sufferer of BPD, and I will acknowledge that all of this information may be true, however, to TRULY felt more secure, I just stopped thinking about my emptiness, irritability and inability to be stable. I do things that make me happy, and instead of being anxious and doubting the happiness that an activity might bring me, I enveloped every bit of happiness I could squeeze from whatever I was doing. The trick isn't to focus on how unhappy you are, how happy you are.
I am amazed with such gratitude with this video. I developed BPD at 14 after a major double trauma about 2 months apart. I've been in recovery since 2005. I know that it was DBT that saved my life. Prior to DBT, I was in the hospital every other month for chronic suicide tendancies and 2 over doses. This is awesome.. Thank you
Never give up, ever.
mine was brought out by a lover as well. i don't have many problems dealing with it when i'm surrounded by healthy, mentally stable people.
Maybe I'm just crazy, but I would love to see my childhood abusers go to jail, pay emotional damages, etc for child abuse. Its preposterous that sex abuse victims can prosecute an abuser from 20 years ago, yet if its any other form of child abuse you cannot have any justice, meanwhile living in a mental hellhole. I am a gorgeous woman reduced to paid companion due to this illness, and no justice for the one who caused it...
I CANNOT tell you how much hope this presentation is giving me.
As someone with BPD, I can say we can be frustrating to our loved ones, so it's cool.
BPD is still fairly recent (mainly in the past 30-50 years) so there isn't a lot known. There is no medication for it, and (with me) some meds made the issue worse. You really don't notice how you treat people sometimes. My bf started mirroring what I was doing to him, and it's helped me try to recognize when I'm going off the deep end.
thank you to the brave individuals and their family members who shared their stories, and the professionals who understand this diagnosis. Marsha L. you are a ray of light in so many peoples lives all over the world.
I have this and it's nice to see a video like this. There isn't much information out there about BPD and not many people understand.
This video is the most watched video on our channel. It also receives the most comments. You are certainly not alone. - NYP
This made me feel so much better. A little hope, a little smile in my heart. Thank you for making this and sharing it.
Borderline is a disorder that where the sufferer suffers feelings of deep seeded worthlessness, self doubt and loathing due to childhood abuse, whereas bi polar is a biological disorder characterized by extreme mood swings that can vary from from deep depression to manic highs. I know one person with bi-polar and know or have met over 20 people with BPD. I think it is way under-diagnosed which is a shame because it is treatable. Really needs to be awareness campaign for this condition.
I love the honesty of the interviewees.
This was very close to the bone and the best video on BPD that I have been able to find so far. Thank you very much for posting this.
I've gotten so much better, I used to be just like that. I just....became the person I needed.
thankyou so much. i still feel like such a burden to everyone in my life but im trying to get better. its not fair that the people who love me have to suffer and the people that wanted to love me couldnt because i cant regulate my emotions.
Awesome watch, I suffer or live with BPD-Dialetic therapy has helped but I still struggle with the willingness to keep on using it.I have been on that bridge, done the pill route and man does it suck.My family works with me, my children who also have disorders or sometimes called creative episodes.I thoroughly enjoyed the video and know there is hope.
I do sometimes. I have to be really in the mood to go out. But I love them all so much regardless, I hope they know that. I just find solitude much more bearable.
I suffer from BPD and you bringing up no childhood/parent emotion acknowledgment hit a string. I'll bring it up to my therapist since apparently she hasn't really touched the subject...
The single most important video to watch for anyone suffering from, or working with these people. I am a recovered bpd and now a student nurse, I struggle to explain this illness to others, now I direct them to this film! Fantastic! Ps for anyone who is suffering, get help but also search online for self help and learn more about the illness, you are so much stronger than you feel! X
Such a huge trigger! Been hospitalized 5 times, attempted suicide numerous times. Im uninsured & living w/ my family who thinks im lazy & spoiled. I just want to get back on my feet but Im having such a hard time finding help in NY to get the skills to finish school, find steady work & build lasting, healthy relationships. I dont want to talk about it anymore, I want to do something about it but dont know if its possible anymore. Its torture!
Great vid. Helps me to be more empathetic about the devastation of a 12 year failed marriage/family. Her actions are "unforgivable" in the sense that she would NEVER forgive me for such transgressions, yet EXPECTS me to forgive & reconcile. It is SO hard. I loved her, she never believed it, sought validation elsewhere. I regret never KNOWING my ex after 20 years of dating/marriage. Dual life. BPDs: Pls let YOUrself to be known to your mate. You will find an ally. Don't then destroy that ally.
I am so grateful I found this video because, as A. says, it helps me not to feel so alone and completely, out of this world. I now live in Spain, and mental problems are 'not excepted here', and it is true that you need the right person, that understands this illness but that you can also feel comfortable with, and that is very difficult to find. Nevertheless, I am going to try very hard, because I think, after this hell, I deserve some healing and some peace, because I am tired to the bone.
This is the most comforting and hopeful thing on the internet about BPD. Thank you.
The only criteria I do not meet out of the nine is the anger. I hardly ever experience explosive anger. Infact‚ the fact my anger manifests as extreme despair or sadness worries me. I can't even seem to get angry when it is completely necessary and justified.
This is one of the best videos I have seen on borderline personality disorder. I studied under Marsha Linehan and her points are especially helpful. It also has good testimonials of what it feels like to have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Steve Bloem
Co-author Broken Minds.
My mom has bpd and its a full time job dealing with her. This video helped to understand where she may be coming from.
Cont: BPD on the other hand is thought to have its underlying roots in early childhood often stemming from prolonged traumatic or difficult experiences (not always often the case) but causing the brain chemistry or biological processes that play key parts in emotional, behavioural and cognitive development to some how change than leading to a long-term pattern of maladaptive behaviours cont:
This so describes me. I find myself taking on things people like, even if I don't like it. If I have an opinion, most likely I keep it to myself because I get knocked down for speaking up. If I show emotions for the most part I am told to grow up and be mature or that I can't cry because I don't have a reason to.
Thanks for posting this. I was recently diagnosed with this and wanted to have a better understanding of this and it helps because it gives different examples and experiences.
I am so thankful for this video. It made me cry because of how much I could relate to it. I'm not currently diagnosed, but I have been thinking for a while that I have BPD. I don't want to self-diagnose myself, but I identify with these people's stories and the criteria so, so well. This just really makes me feel less alone and like there are people out there who can understand me. This video made me realize that I think it's time for me to take that first step in getting help, so thank you.
This was so enlightening, educational and very moving. It's just patients and doctors and other experts talking but in an informed, educated and very frank way. I learned and gained so much from this. Thank you.
explained my entire existence. thank you for this.. now i just need to grow enough strength to find help.
Thank you for posting this. How useful for people suffering from this disorder.
Great video. I'm 43 an been dealing with this my whole life. It's a wonder I'm still here. I've never been treated or diagnosed. On the outside, I've held it "together" enough. Towards my family and relationships, I've torn them to shreds. However, my parents are the only one's that have managed to somewhat convence me they love me, note that I said somewhat, so I still don't buy it 100%. Ha! I have noticed that the older I get the harder "it" is getting to manage myself. Resigned Outlier.
just been diagnosed with BPD...been living with this for about38 yrs...it makes sence now how i been for yrs ..
Really impressed, very nicely made. Good mix of carers, sufferers and professionals, seem's to get over everything really clearly.
Wow, I cannot explain how helpful this was. Thank you so much for posting this. I have such a better understanding of this and I want to get help. For the longest time I felt as if I didn't exist as if I was constantly changing. I don't feel alone anymore...I hope others with BPD feel compelled like me to get help...no one deserves to live with this
This is an amazing movie, I'm so glad someone told me about this. I just wish you had this around with Hebrew subtitles so I could show it to my parents and maybe finally make them truely understand what I have to live with.Most probably it's my BPD speaking but somehow you made me want to stand up and do something so BPD patients will be more recognaized in my country, and that there will be more places to go to for help.
This is simply an outstanding video. It is one of the first that I have seen that so clearly describes the experience of BPD, especially with what could be called a higher functioning BPD population. Combining the experiences of these courageous individuals, with commentary from these leading clinicians in the field, makes this an extraordinary video. Many thanks to Dr. Linehan, along with the other clinicians, and to the men and women in this video that explain so well the experience of BPD.
Thank you so much for posting this. As someone living with BPD, I find this video informative and crucial to watch for anyone who wants to gain some insight into what it's like to be on the other side of the coin and just try to survive one day at a time. Watching this helps me feel a little less alone and puts my feelings into rational words. Thank you and bravo to all the speakers.
I have been diagnosed with BPD five months ago, but I have struggled all my life with the symtons of it (I'm 39yrs now). I have a good education, MSc-degree, and are very good at speaking in front of others, at least on a good day. I'd consider myself high-functioning on a good day, and a nervous wreck and on the edge of selv-destruction and suivide on my bad days. I also have "normal" days. I have learned to reflect on myself, explain myself. That is what the persons in the video do, too.
This hits very, very close to home. I can't even begin to describe how incredibly relevant this is to my life. On one hand, I'm very thankful that I'm not the only one that goes through this... on the other, it makes me question myself further. :/
yes, I can be really happy, just as intensely as I can feel sadness, despair, and disconnected from all around me. This is a very dignity-honoring Documentary. Usually the up-loads are almost bullish of B.p.d. Where the Video makers attitude seems sensationalized. One such person on you tube, was in glee over how INTO sexual activity B.p.d sufferers can become. This Documentary portrays intelligently both the P.O.V of the sufferer, and the Psychology behind it, I like that they do not assume.
Astonishing video. To have this now, through this medium, is truly wonderful. 30 years ago you were lazy, moody, and disruptive--"unreasonable". We've come a long way...I'm still "unreasonable" but happier about it.
Thank you for posting this. It helps me figure out why I am the way I am
Thank you, thank you. So many of us are in pain, and this is so comforting. If only those who cannot see this and need to, could see it also.
This video is very good to watch for myself. I have bpd and its so hard living day to day with it. Most people just dont get me or it. The wanting to fit and never fitting has been there for so long.Im learning that its part of who I am and to live with it by knowing it will never go away. My husband is so understanding and knows what its like to live with me like this. I would fall so hard and bad if not for him being there for me.
it is very hard living with this. my family does not understand and does not want to. the only one that does is my 11 yr old daughter. she is my angel. not much more to say the that except i know i am not alone. i am also taking a class in DBT and I LOVE IT. it has made a big change in me. thank you. with hope now, suzie
This is true, I know that when I was confronted with this diagnosis I saw the criteria as nothing more than a list of my own screw-ups and inadequacies. But then after a few years I have come to realize that every single of those criteria are linked to my childhood and the dysfunctional coping mechanisms I developed due to trauma. Being able to connect the dots felt empowering. For that reason I do not consider it an umbrella term for difficult cases. It is all relevant.
i hate having bpd it messes with my mind too much. i feel crazy
I recommended this to someone who was really discouraged and it was just what they needed. Thank you so much for posting it.
I was diagnosed a few years ago. Listening to this and having done research on it. Im almost relieved to hear other people saying things that I say. Im not the only one. No one really understands it.
I went to to DBT therapy for two years in Seattle. It has saved my life. I Am so glad I found this video. I was Burning myself and slicing ...ready to die. DBT saved my life.
Excellent video. Hopefully people realize that BPD is treatable and with the proper treatment it gets a lot better!
thank u 2the people that made this programme..... 10yrs after being diagnosed n left 2deal with a situation i didnt understand i finaly c hope n realise im nt alone :) a HUGE thank you x
I am so tired of having BPD, this made me cry I just want relief... I am learning to cope and manage my emotions but every day is still a struggle. I am still only alive because my family wants me to be alive but I'd rather be dead. I went to NY Presbyterian 2 years ago and was diagnosed with BPD...
I don't have every symptom though just a lot...