“To learn more than ever from important non-fiction books, join me on Shortform - an awesome company that creates high-quality summaries and super insightful analyses of non-fiction books. If you click my custom link: shortform.com/BigMinds You’ll get a 5-day free trial and a discounted annual subscription. What’s not to love about that?! Actually, I used Shortform when creating this video. Their summary of ‘NonViolent Communication’ was Crystal-Clear and helped me pinpoint the book's essence.
"I feel angry because you are late", this is an example of violent communication! You never say "I because you"! It's always "I because I" or "you because you". The sentence implies that you are feeling angry because of someone else, and not because of your own unmet needs. A Nonviolent way to put it would be: "I feel angry because I have a need to start the meeting on time."
@@SkyKangaroo I feel angry because I have a need for honesty. Look up lists of examples of needs and feelings in context of NVC. Ensure you do not fall into pseudo-feelings that do contain a judgment about the other.
I think this is the right way to communicate although not everyone has empathy. If you're dealing with a toxic or narcissistic person it really doesnt matter how you express your feelings. I think it's important to keep this in mind to avoid unnecessary self blame.
@@markbennett5812 aww Mark i am so sorry to hear that. Bless you, i know what it's like to have self esteem as low as that. NOT easy. And yes, in this society of ours SO MANY of us have a huge unmet need for connection so i can understand how you would think that ANY quality of contact was better than NONE. Sending love your way and i hope that you ge t to meet nice people who treat you with the love amd respect you deserve as we ALL deserve it! What has changed my relationships with friends A LOT has been how i interact with and treat myself as, in my experience, my outward relationships are only a reflection of my inner relationship with myself. As my relationship with me improved, (listening to my own needs, feeling my feelings when i needed to, being kinder to myself), it was only then that the outward relationships improved as i felt more deserving of healthier boundaries with others. Sending you love bro and best wishes for more love and connection in your life as you deserve. ❤
@@valeriemaguire401 there is no outward relationship to reflect the inside one at all. I think they only works for men that are attractive tall and rich or already have a social circle or group that has enough women that they get a chance to date by getting to know or they are tall and hot and have tinder
@@valeriemaguire401 again this is advice for how to improve current relationships or options not how to find or get them or get to the beginning point or find people for that and be successful in the beginning to do that
I feel like the most important concept of NVC is the ability to not only speak the language but be able to translate everyone else’s language so you yourself hear it as NVC as well.
Yes, but it is too much to be doing one's own AND the work of ebe´verybody else forever when being stress-exhausted, traumatized, harmed, living in mistreatment and no learning and communication has really helped! SOS! I am sure it works f ppl w minor problems
Actually, M.Rosenberg says we need not mention others’ actions (in any case, no judgements such as “you are late”!) when expressing our needs: compare “I feel sad/angry because I’m needing…” vs. “I feel sad/angry because you…”
While I think that NVC is advantageous in relationships where respect already exists, I feel like it's probably not helpful with certain personality types such as those that exhibit strong traits of narcissism or sociopathy that lack compassion. What motivates types like that to care about other people's feelings and needs? Virtually nothing unless it suits them somehow. So NVC is helpful in many situations but certainly not all.
NVC doesn't take into account personality disorders or cluster B people which are the actual root of the problem. Psychopaths have different brains. This won't help against intraspecies predators. The fundamental axiom of NVC is that all humans want to empathize (or even have empathy) is just actually factually incorrect
I appreciate the effort to bring awareness of NVC with the animation, so people have access and awareness of Nonviolent Communication. And it's hard to include it all. The intention part is what holds the model part . I hope this contributes to some clarity. The language can support the movement to the consciousness of compassion, shared power, interdependence and natural giving. Marshall asked what do you want someone to do differently? And what do you want the reason to be? Our domination system has taught us that people are motivated by threat of punishment, guilt, shame, promise of reward, yet do you want that or do you want someone to understand the value/need and naturally want to contribute to needs being met for all? NVC is bringing in the consciousness shift to a different way the world works - rather than who/what is wrong? it's that everything we say or do is to meet a need, and we're doing the best we can with the inner and outer resources we have to meet needs. So the INTENTION is CONNECTION, the attention is on the present. Without the intention the language can be used violently. Yes, this video got close ... it could be more connecting/serving for clarity and learning to have the example say "When it's 1:15 and my understanding was we were meeting at 1, I feel frustrated because I value consideration and communication. Would you be willing to say what you hear is important to me? (Connection request). Rather than going directly to an action request. I imagine reading the book or going to trainings, watching other videos will support learning too. :)
The best part of NVC would always possible when both side parties are with a OPEN MIND "TO LIVE WITH (1) MUTUAL PEACEFUL CO-EXISTENCE, (2) TO MEET THEIR MUTUAL NEEDS WITHIN AVAILABLE RESOURCES - (i) TIME, (ii) MONEY, (iii) LAND/ SPACE, (iv) CONTACTS, & (v) GOOD-WILL for having BETTER MUTUAL RELATIONSHIPS TO ENJOY LOVABLE & MORE PURPOSEFUL LIFE WITH MUTUAL "WIN WIN SITUATION" BY BECOMING/ BEHAVING AS A "RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN HAVING GOOD SENSE OF SOCIAL RESPONSIBLITY" RATHER THAN "WASTING PRECIOUS TIME & MONEY IN FOOLISH HOT ARGUMENTS/ COURT CASES/ RAISING BITTER PERSONAL RELATIONS OR GRUDGES MAKING THEIR LIVES MORE MISERABLE WHICH COULD BE AVERTED THROUGH "NVC" BY THRASHING OUT MISUNDERSTANDING(S) IN TIME FROM TIME TO TIME WITHOUT ANY PROCRASTINATION OF TIME & MONEY.
Hi there, thanks for the video. on 4:27 this is exactly what NVC is NOT: "I feel angry, because you are late..." It should be: "I feel angry, because (a need is unmet) e.g. reliability". The other persons acting or saying is never the cause of our feelings, its always a met or unmet need.
Can you make your example into a full sentence, please? I noticed that error? too after what was just said about how to construct sentences nonviolently, and I'm not sure I'm understanding.
@@DanielJones117 I Think he means it should be something like ‘I feel upset when you are late since it makes me feel unimportant’. If that makes sense?
While looking up videos to show someone who I wanted to give an insight into the NVC communication technique I stumbled across this video and enjoyed watching it! I was just a bit confused since I thought in NVC instead of "I feel angry because you are late..." (which sounds like making the other person responsible for our own feelings) you would rather turn the phrases around a bit and get "I feel angry because i fear that my schedule will be disrupted when you come late. I have the need to be punctual and have a coordinated day. Can I please ask you to be on time for our next meeting?" Otherwise it's a very sweet video. I found it entertaining, liked the illustrations and it seemed to be so easily explained it might make NVC understandable for children.
Hi Melanie, it is my understanding is that as long as you don't criticize or judge the other person for but simply state what their actions (or lack of actions) are making you feel you are still acting within the NVC framework :-) And thank you for the feedback on the video, one of our aspirations is actually to communicate difficult topics in a fun and easy-to-understand way that could also work for children! So your comment made me very happy....
You are correct Melanie. The way it was stated in the video ( which was otherwise on the money) still places blame on the other person which will make them defensive. In fact, I believe the communication is, " I feel angry because I fear my schedule will be disrupted because WE are starting late. Can you make a deliberate effort to be here on time?
I agree. My understanding is that we try to stick to the facts. Words like 'late" have an implied judgment. The NVC approach might be:. Our mtg was at 2:00 and you arrived at 2:15. I am feeling ... because my need for... has not been met. Would you be willing to...
@@Vegabomber No. We are responsible for our own feelings. No one can 'make' anyone anything. You have no power or control over any other you barely handle yourself & [if considered] rarely is even that true. To embellish edit "we" appears raise the manipulation level "I will include myself a Suffering Victim Servant in this _____ so its ok to apply •this• pressure not having exempted myself" after all you were not late. Dude was. You may be part of a team though there is no reason to muddy the waters Marshall left so precisely clear by playing the Martyr in order make a point regarding timing & order. Let us not forget who we are. We are free. 💗
Upon discovering this practice, I (personally) recognized the tremendous value it offered and attempted to share the resource with many "friends" and associates. Sadly though, only one person has ever been receptive to or even briefly engaged with or explored the concept or content (and I'm thankful, that one person engaged completely). It saddens me, though that so few people are willing or interested enough to invest any time or effort into truly engaging with those they identify as friend or family, and moreso, how little (if any) cause is needed to inspire their devaluing, abandoning and dismissal of people who were so recently dubbed "best" friends, lovers, life-partners, etc. How when it all boils down, blood isn't any thicker than water, cause it was ultimately all just hot air to them. Whether by way of indifference, egotism or narcissism . . . communication of any nature and "relations" abroad were, are and always will be null and void when compared or contending with the worldly temptations that overwhelm and dominate the "masses." Whichis the ultimate danger and impediment to humanity ever ascending to its so-called "potential" or ever establishing a cooperative, cohesive, "optimally safe" or progressive society or presence in relation to our world, one another, or even the animals/"pets" so many pretend to hold in such high regard. That beautiful vision is just another extreme/ideal that will inevitably flounder in the wake of the bleak reality and fate that our numerous faults and frailties continue to exclusively afford "our kind" and everything unfortunate enough to suffer our untamed influence.
I work in a school where this is tge mainstream idea. We have four openings at the moment. Our kids are out of control :) hitting kicking spitting etcbis everyday. Good luck for the practicioners
Practicing non-violent communication is understandably difficult. This especially true when you have multiple desired outcomes in a situation and two or more of them are in conflict. This is why it is important to think clearly about what you want to accomplish before speaking. Unfortunately, natural selection has not favored careful analysis as a precursor to action.
I have the book and have invested a good chunk of time & energy trying to understand the seemingly simple and straightforward technique. Thank you for summarizing -- as well as clarifying and simplifying! That said, without being an NVC expert, i share a similar impression as that reflected in several of the comments to this same video -- and suggest it might be worth reviewing & refining the original video.... this is an important subject! Gracias, danke, obrigado.
I think the production is good, if a little sterile, and I'm glad to have more advocacy for NVC here. I think it's great that you provide a link to the book for more depth and detail.
Basically a nice, clear video. A few mistakes/errors/problems: 1. "compassionate givING", not "given". 2. Expressing our needs is NOT done by making requests. This is a mix-up of two distinct stages / parts / modes / levels. Rather, expressing our needs is done (at least the most straightforward way) by naming the need - just the same as with emotions. Sure, people can the needs from requests, but that doesn't mean requests are a clear and efficient way of expressing needs. That is because requests operate in and focus us at the level of strategies which is essentially different from the level of needs. 3. We definitely don't ALL know that our judgements are subjective and relative. Rather, only a FEW of us know/believe that. Most people believe their judgments to be the absolute truth. 4. The phrase "Connect our feelings and our needs" needs clarification: Connect them to each other? Connect them to something else? Connect how? 5. If Alan was familiar with NVC, he might have wondered, what's going on for Bart? Why is he late? What need/s of HIS is/are not being met? And also - Why am I ANGRY with bart and not just frustrated and/or disappointed? Which kind of anger is it? Is it a righteous, moral, judgemental anger, or a child-like (the good sense of childish) "Yoo-hoo! I'm here! stop ignoring me!" anger, that is merely designed to get other/s to see and consider me/us. 6. If Alan was more familiar with NVC he would NOT have said "I'm feeling angry BECAUSE you're late" because that would be implying that Bart is the CAUSE of, or is RESPONSIBLE for, Alan's anger. According to NVC, People are not responsible for other people's feelings, and people's actions are not the cause of other's feelings. 7. If Alan was familiar with NVC, he would not ask Bart a request because future requests have a high likelihood of not being met, since the future is unpredictable. Rather, NVC explains the several benefits of making requests in the present time.
Thank you. Yes I feel angry because was the only section that felt like a blame statement. It can just be I feel angry. Then go to I need....then would you be open to being on time? Or can we commit to all being on time?
It would be nice if people would admit that their trauma is making it so we have to use nonviolent communication. If people would admit that the words I use make them feel bad is actually a reflection of their own feelings of themselves then we could just speak without editing our words how we should. I agree for dealing with people with trauma you should use nonviolent communication however the goal is to fortify people for the world and the world does not use non-violent communication and never will it do so. Sometimes when you protect somebody from something you're actually weakening them. Much love and God bless
At first glance it seems compelling to learn this techniques of speaking, but after years I've learned that non-violent language can even be used (and has been used) by narcissists and manipulators.
Completely random , and with no bad intentions behind it. The video is 5 years old, I would have probably given it more thought in the present day and made the characters more neutral!
Hi misti, Thanks for letting me know, unfortunately there is no way to correct mistakes once the video is uploaded so we will have to live with it. This video is one of the firsts ones I created. In later videos ‘Grammarly’ helps me correct mistakes so hopefully is should happen anymore.
Hi, thanks for reaching out. I am not sure how to actually do that! Since my first language is Danish, I would have to get the subtitles autogenerated and google isn't helping me much. I will look into fixing it 👍
Thanks for the feedback! This video is actually one of the first 4 videos I ever uploaded (now we have more than 160 videos). I have turned the music down in later productions 👍👍
Originally they were just called 'A' and 'B' but that didn't really make sense for the video so hence they became Bart and Allen - No biases against people called Bart :-)
@@BigIdeasGrowingMinds As in real life bias may be unintended, and yet there it is. Even if unintended, when it is pointed out to us a better response might be, a pause and acknowledge within our selves that it might in fact be true. Self knowledge and self understanding is important as a basis for clear and compassionate communication. Oh, and thank you for the video.
4:26 I personally think it's better to not include someone when it comes to our feelings such as "I feel angry because you...".It's better to not blame anyone, and just say "I'm angry today".
Hi There… One of the best things I learned during my time as a Leadership Development Specialist in Maersk was to communicate in a NonViolent way. It has literally changed every relationship I have in a positive way. Marshall Rosenberg and his pioneering book “NonViolent Communication” is the topic of this week’s video on the BigIdeasGrowingMinds channel. In the book, Rosenberg shares with us a better way of communicating with others. He calls it NonViolent Communication - a language of life! I hope his thoughts will inspire you as much as they have inspired me! And… Please do remember to hit the subscribe button and ring the little notification bell once you reach the UA-cam Channel so you don’t miss out on any Big Ideas that could help you Grow your Mind.
“To learn more than ever from important non-fiction books, join me on Shortform - an awesome company that creates high-quality summaries and super insightful analyses of non-fiction books.
If you click my custom link: shortform.com/BigMinds You’ll get a 5-day free trial and a discounted annual subscription. What’s not to love about that?!
Actually, I used Shortform when creating this video. Their summary of ‘NonViolent Communication’ was Crystal-Clear and helped me pinpoint the book's essence.
"Focus on your own needs instead of what is wrong with others." LOVE THIS.
So true!!
"I feel angry because you are late", this is an example of violent communication! You never say "I because you"! It's always "I because I" or "you because you". The sentence implies that you are feeling angry because of someone else, and not because of your own unmet needs. A Nonviolent way to put it would be: "I feel angry because I have a need to start the meeting on time."
It would be great for the author to fix this one! This is a good video for kids and they can use that as an example
can u give an example of how i would communicate “i feel angry because you lied” non violently then???
@@SkyKangaroo I feel angry because I have a need for honesty. Look up lists of examples of needs and feelings in context of NVC. Ensure you do not fall into pseudo-feelings that do contain a judgment about the other.
@@SkyKangaroomaybe I feel hurt because I wasn’t told the truth
@@user26912 What if they respond by saying, it's always about you!
I think this is the right way to communicate although not everyone has empathy. If you're dealing with a toxic or narcissistic person it really doesnt matter how you express your feelings. I think it's important to keep this in mind to avoid unnecessary self blame.
I would still blame myself my value is so low anyways and anything for human connection is worth it at this point even abuse
@@markbennett5812 aww Mark i am so sorry to hear that. Bless you, i know what it's like to have self esteem as low as that. NOT easy. And yes, in this society of ours SO MANY of us have a huge unmet need for connection so i can understand how you would think that ANY quality of contact was better than NONE. Sending love your way and i hope that you ge t to meet nice people who treat you with the love amd respect you deserve as we ALL deserve it! What has changed my relationships with friends A LOT has been how i interact with and treat myself as, in my experience, my outward relationships are only a reflection of my inner relationship with myself. As my relationship with me improved, (listening to my own needs, feeling my feelings when i needed to, being kinder to myself), it was only then that the outward relationships improved as i felt more deserving of healthier boundaries with others. Sending you love bro and best wishes for more love and connection in your life as you deserve. ❤
@@valeriemaguire401 I don’t have friends or people to interact with in the first place
@@valeriemaguire401 there is no outward relationship to reflect the inside one at all. I think they only works for men that are attractive tall and rich or already have a social circle or group that has enough women that they get a chance to date by getting to know or they are tall and hot and have tinder
@@valeriemaguire401 again this is advice for how to improve current relationships or options not how to find or get them or get to the beginning point or find people for that and be successful in the beginning to do that
I feel like the most important concept of NVC is the ability to not only speak the language but be able to translate everyone else’s language so you yourself hear it as NVC as well.
True. Tough one. 🤔
Yes, but it is too much to be doing one's own AND the work of ebe´verybody else forever when being stress-exhausted, traumatized, harmed, living in mistreatment and no learning and communication has really helped! SOS! I am sure it works f ppl w minor problems
Well said!
Actually, M.Rosenberg says we need not mention others’ actions (in any case, no judgements such as “you are late”!) when expressing our needs: compare “I feel sad/angry because I’m needing…” vs. “I feel sad/angry because you…”
Hi, Thanks for the comment and for clarifying! Other people have made this point, and I agree the wording could have been more precise!!
While I think that NVC is advantageous in relationships where respect already exists, I feel like it's probably not helpful with certain personality types such as those that exhibit strong traits of narcissism or sociopathy that lack compassion. What motivates types like that to care about other people's feelings and needs? Virtually nothing unless it suits them somehow. So NVC is helpful in many situations but certainly not all.
NVC doesn't take into account personality disorders or cluster B people which are the actual root of the problem. Psychopaths have different brains. This won't help against intraspecies predators. The fundamental axiom of NVC is that all humans want to empathize (or even have empathy) is just actually factually incorrect
I appreciate the effort to bring awareness of NVC with the animation, so people have access and awareness of Nonviolent Communication. And it's hard to include it all. The intention part is what holds the model part . I hope this contributes to some clarity. The language can support the movement to the consciousness of compassion, shared power, interdependence and natural giving. Marshall asked what do you want someone to do differently? And what do you want the reason to be? Our domination system has taught us that people are motivated by threat of punishment, guilt, shame, promise of reward, yet do you want that or do you want someone to understand the value/need and naturally want to contribute to needs being met for all? NVC is bringing in the consciousness shift to a different way the world works - rather than who/what is wrong? it's that everything we say or do is to meet a need, and we're doing the best we can with the inner and outer resources we have to meet needs. So the INTENTION is CONNECTION, the attention is on the present. Without the intention the language can be used violently. Yes, this video got close ... it could be more connecting/serving for clarity and learning to have the example say "When it's 1:15 and my understanding was we were meeting at 1, I feel frustrated because I value consideration and communication. Would you be willing to say what you hear is important to me? (Connection request). Rather than going directly to an action request. I imagine reading the book or going to trainings, watching other videos will support learning too. :)
Thanks for your comment and the clarification 👏👏
The best part of NVC would always possible when both side parties are with a OPEN MIND "TO LIVE WITH (1) MUTUAL PEACEFUL CO-EXISTENCE, (2) TO MEET THEIR MUTUAL NEEDS WITHIN AVAILABLE RESOURCES - (i) TIME, (ii) MONEY, (iii) LAND/ SPACE, (iv) CONTACTS, & (v) GOOD-WILL for having BETTER MUTUAL RELATIONSHIPS TO ENJOY LOVABLE & MORE PURPOSEFUL LIFE WITH MUTUAL "WIN WIN SITUATION" BY BECOMING/ BEHAVING AS A "RESPONSIBLE CITIZEN HAVING GOOD SENSE OF SOCIAL RESPONSIBLITY" RATHER THAN "WASTING PRECIOUS TIME & MONEY IN FOOLISH HOT ARGUMENTS/ COURT CASES/ RAISING BITTER PERSONAL RELATIONS OR GRUDGES MAKING THEIR LIVES MORE MISERABLE WHICH COULD BE AVERTED THROUGH "NVC" BY THRASHING OUT MISUNDERSTANDING(S) IN TIME FROM TIME TO TIME WITHOUT ANY PROCRASTINATION OF TIME & MONEY.
Hi there, thanks for the video.
on 4:27 this is exactly what NVC is NOT: "I feel angry, because you are late..." It should be: "I feel angry, because (a need is unmet) e.g. reliability". The other persons acting or saying is never the cause of our feelings, its always a met or unmet need.
Thanks for the comment and for the clarification… 👍
Can you make your example into a full sentence, please? I noticed that error? too after what was just said about how to construct sentences nonviolently, and I'm not sure I'm understanding.
@@DanielJones117 I Think he means it should be something like ‘I feel upset when you are late since it makes me feel unimportant’. If that makes sense?
This video does a much better job than the sprouts video on the same topic and of the same length
Great and way to make the world a wonderful place to be
Amazing summary - thank you!
Thank you. So happy you like it! ❤❤
While looking up videos to show someone who I wanted to give an insight into the NVC communication technique I stumbled across this video and enjoyed watching it!
I was just a bit confused since I thought in NVC instead of "I feel angry because you are late..." (which sounds like making the other person responsible for our own feelings) you would rather turn the phrases around a bit and get "I feel angry because i fear that my schedule will be disrupted when you come late. I have the need to be punctual and have a coordinated day. Can I please ask you to be on time for our next meeting?"
Otherwise it's a very sweet video. I found it entertaining, liked the illustrations and it seemed to be so easily explained it might make NVC understandable for children.
Hi Melanie, it is my understanding is that as long as you don't criticize or judge the other person for but simply state what their actions (or lack of actions) are making you feel you are still acting within the NVC framework :-) And thank you for the feedback on the video, one of our aspirations is actually to communicate difficult topics in a fun and easy-to-understand way that could also work for children! So your comment made me very happy....
You are correct Melanie. The way it was stated in the video ( which was otherwise on the money) still places blame on the other person which will make them defensive. In fact, I believe the communication is, " I feel angry because I fear my schedule will be disrupted because WE are starting late. Can you make a deliberate effort to be here on time?
I agree. My understanding is that we try to stick to the facts. Words like 'late" have an implied judgment. The NVC approach might be:. Our mtg was at 2:00 and you arrived at 2:15. I am feeling ... because my need for... has not been met. Would you be willing to...
@@BigIdeasGrowingMinds 'Late' is judgement it may not be a moralistic judgement though it •is• an evaluation.
@@Vegabomber No. We are responsible for our own feelings. No one can 'make' anyone anything. You have no power or control over any other you barely handle yourself & [if considered] rarely is even that true. To embellish edit "we" appears raise the manipulation level "I will include myself a Suffering Victim Servant in this _____ so its ok to apply •this• pressure not having exempted myself" after all you were not late. Dude was. You may be part of a team though there is no reason to muddy the waters Marshall left so precisely clear by playing the Martyr in order make a point regarding timing & order. Let us not forget who we are. We are free. 💗
Very helpful in summerizing these vast and beautiful concepts to share concisely with others who may not have knowledge of the topic
Thank you for the kind feedback. I really appreciate it :-)
Really great
Thank you!!
Upon discovering this practice, I (personally) recognized the tremendous value it offered and attempted to share the resource with many "friends" and associates. Sadly though, only one person has ever been receptive to or even briefly engaged with or explored the concept or content (and I'm thankful, that one person engaged completely). It saddens me, though that so few people are willing or interested enough to invest any time or effort into truly engaging with those they identify as friend or family, and moreso, how little (if any) cause is needed to inspire their devaluing, abandoning and dismissal of people who were so recently dubbed "best" friends, lovers, life-partners, etc. How when it all boils down, blood isn't any thicker than water, cause it was ultimately all just hot air to them. Whether by way of indifference, egotism or narcissism . . . communication of any nature and "relations" abroad were, are and always will be null and void when compared or contending with the worldly temptations that overwhelm and dominate the "masses." Whichis the ultimate danger and impediment to humanity ever ascending to its so-called "potential" or ever establishing a cooperative, cohesive, "optimally safe" or progressive society or presence in relation to our world, one another, or even the animals/"pets" so many pretend to hold in such high regard. That beautiful vision is just another extreme/ideal that will inevitably flounder in the wake of the bleak reality and fate that our numerous faults and frailties continue to exclusively afford "our kind" and everything unfortunate enough to suffer our untamed influence.
Really great. Such a powerful practice!
❤️
Wow! Amazing and very helpful! Thank you for sharing.
And Thank you for this comment 🤩
I work in a school where this is tge mainstream idea.
We have four openings at the moment. Our kids are out of control :) hitting kicking spitting etcbis everyday.
Good luck for the practicioners
The person reading this comment: I wish you great success, love, health, and happiness! ❤️ 😀😘😍😆
Practicing non-violent communication is understandably difficult. This especially true when you have multiple desired outcomes in a situation and two or more of them are in conflict. This is why it is important to think clearly about what you want to accomplish before speaking. Unfortunately, natural selection has not favored careful analysis as a precursor to action.
so useful recap for this book. Thanks for making this animation. Please allow me to localize it for internal team training. Tks Growing Minds
So happy you like the video. Feel free to use for any training purposes :-)
Thanks I understand it better now
Great clear, concise, and engaging content. Thank you! I especially appreciated the examples.
Grace Miguel Cipriano Thank you so much :-)
@@BigIdeasGrowingMinds Thank you so much for the video. i have just ordered the book and this video makes me want to start reading asap
@@xw6475 Amazing!! I love this book - hope you will enjoy it as well!!
@@BigIdeasGrowingMinds Thank you so much for replying and sharing! Yeah, I can't wait. I will definitely enjoy 💪💪
this just sounds like "mindfulness" with more steps.
Advanced mindfulwoke
Thank you!
I have the book and have invested a good chunk of time & energy trying to understand the seemingly simple and straightforward technique.
Thank you for summarizing -- as well as clarifying and simplifying! That said, without being an NVC expert, i share a similar impression as that reflected in several of the comments to this same video -- and suggest it might be worth reviewing & refining the original video.... this is an important subject!
Gracias, danke, obrigado.
Thanks you 👍👏
I think the production is good, if a little sterile, and I'm glad to have more advocacy for NVC here. I think it's great that you provide a link to the book for more depth and detail.
good presentation on this subject
Thank you! So kind of you to say :-)
I said to my boss, "I am very angry that you're not on time for the meeting".
And how did was the message received?
Basically a nice, clear video.
A few mistakes/errors/problems:
1. "compassionate givING", not "given".
2. Expressing our needs is NOT done by making requests. This is a mix-up of two distinct stages / parts / modes / levels. Rather, expressing our needs is done (at least the most straightforward way) by naming the need - just the same as with emotions. Sure, people can the needs from requests, but that doesn't mean requests are a clear and efficient way of expressing needs. That is because requests operate in and focus us at the level of strategies which is essentially different from the level of needs.
3. We definitely don't ALL know that our judgements are subjective and relative. Rather, only a FEW of us know/believe that. Most people believe their judgments to be the absolute truth.
4. The phrase "Connect our feelings and our needs" needs clarification: Connect them to each other? Connect them to something else? Connect how?
5. If Alan was familiar with NVC, he might have wondered, what's going on for Bart? Why is he late? What need/s of HIS is/are not being met? And also - Why am I ANGRY with bart and not just frustrated and/or disappointed? Which kind of anger is it? Is it a righteous, moral, judgemental anger, or a child-like (the good sense of childish) "Yoo-hoo! I'm here! stop ignoring me!" anger, that is merely designed to get other/s to see and consider me/us.
6. If Alan was more familiar with NVC he would NOT have said "I'm feeling angry BECAUSE you're late" because that would be implying that Bart is the CAUSE of, or is RESPONSIBLE for, Alan's anger. According to NVC, People are not responsible for other people's feelings, and people's actions are not the cause of other's feelings.
7. If Alan was familiar with NVC, he would not ask Bart a request because future requests have a high likelihood of not being met, since the future is unpredictable. Rather, NVC explains the several benefits of making requests in the present time.
Thanks for clarifying 👍🏻
After seeing this, my life has changed forever. Thank you. I will no longer beat my child when he doesn't do his homework.
Well, that's good to hear. I am sure he appreciates that a lot 😉 (I presume you are kidding)...
Thank you. Yes I feel angry because was the only section that felt like a blame statement. It can just be I feel angry. Then go to I need....then would you be open to being on time? Or can we commit to all being on time?
This was intense
Feel... Because... Need...
It would be nice if people would admit that their trauma is making it so we have to use nonviolent communication. If people would admit that the words I use make them feel bad is actually a reflection of their own feelings of themselves then we could just speak without editing our words how we should. I agree for dealing with people with trauma you should use nonviolent communication however the goal is to fortify people for the world and the world does not use non-violent communication and never will it do so. Sometimes when you protect somebody from something you're actually weakening them. Much love and God bless
James Blake sent me here
Perfect! So glad that James Blake like the channel ☺️😉
i like the way you make your graphic and have ea lovely voice ...thank you .
Thank you :-) Very happy for the positive feedback!!
Great video
Thanks :-)
At first glance it seems compelling to learn this techniques of speaking, but after years I've learned that non-violent language can even be used (and has been used) by narcissists and manipulators.
Subhanallahi rabbil alamin
this video is required for my class on bias and racism and I have to ask, why is Bart, the black employee late…..direct implied racism.
Completely random , and with no bad intentions behind it. The video is 5 years old, I would have probably given it more thought in the present day and made the characters more neutral!
Also happy to hear that you use the video is your class 👍👍👍
That Allan and Bart example not good. Allan's attempt at NVC still needs work.
Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it - I did my best but seems like my NVC skills need some work!!
@@BigIdeasGrowingMinds 🤣👍🏽
I feel drained since you do not pay attention to my feedback. I would like it, if you would give me a chance and consider it to solve the problem.
Bart can be on time in the first place
can you correct the typo in the beginning... fudamental
Hi misti, Thanks for letting me know, unfortunately there is no way to correct mistakes once the video is uploaded so we will have to live with it. This video is one of the firsts ones I created. In later videos ‘Grammarly’ helps me correct mistakes so hopefully is should happen anymore.
@@BigIdeasGrowingMinds ah dang.
Can you provide Hindi subtitles for majority of Indians
Hi, thanks for reaching out. I am not sure how to actually do that! Since my first language is Danish, I would have to get the subtitles autogenerated and google isn't helping me much. I will look into fixing it 👍
The music is so distracting 😭
Thanks for the feedback! This video is actually one of the first 4 videos I ever uploaded (now we have more than 160 videos). I have turned the music down in later productions 👍👍
Miller Eric Hernandez Margaret Walker Brenda
Hmm... I feel suspicious of this narrative. I need some clarification as to why "Bart" was the one late for the meeting.
Originally they were just called 'A' and 'B' but that didn't really make sense for the video so hence they became Bart and Allen - No biases against people called Bart :-)
@@BigIdeasGrowingMinds haha I was being silly, thanks for not taking my head off lol
@@mistersm 😂👍
pimpaliukas pimpaliukas 123
I felt uneasy with an AI-generated VO asking/instructing me about feelings ; /🤨
Not an AI-voice VO but a real life person…
Again, Why is Bart, the African American late? I see many biases in this video!
Again no bias intended.... ❤️
@@BigIdeasGrowingMinds As in real life bias may be unintended, and yet there it is. Even if unintended, when it is pointed out to us a better response might be, a pause and acknowledge within our selves that it might in fact be true. Self knowledge and self understanding is important as a basis for clear and compassionate communication. Oh, and thank you for the video.
I didn't like the depiction of men with square faces.
!
:P
Heres the biggest Idea..walk away from her! Dont give the problem a chance to start with and become absent , Mgtow is real...
4:26 I personally think it's better to not include someone when it comes to our feelings such as "I feel angry because you...".It's better to not blame anyone, and just say "I'm angry today".
pimpaliukas pimpaliukas 123
I wish I knew this book earlier 😭 the situation of my relationship would it better. 😭😭😭 i'm thrilled I need to self improve myself.
It certainly changed my life 👍
Thanks for this video - I really enjoyed it!!
Hi There…
One of the best things I learned during my time as a Leadership Development Specialist in Maersk was to communicate in a NonViolent way. It has literally changed every relationship I have in a positive way.
Marshall Rosenberg and his pioneering book “NonViolent Communication” is the topic of this week’s video on the BigIdeasGrowingMinds channel.
In the book, Rosenberg shares with us a better way of communicating with others. He calls it NonViolent Communication - a language of life!
I hope his thoughts will inspire you as much as they have inspired me!
And… Please do remember to hit the subscribe button and ring the little notification bell once you reach the UA-cam Channel so you don’t miss out on any Big Ideas that could help you Grow your Mind.
I have a need for accuracy and the truth.
I noticed that the producers left the "fun" out of "fundamental".
I would enjoy seeing this corrected.
I feel undervalued as more characters of color are not used.
Hi there, sorry we made you feel that way. It was unintentional. We do strive for diversity in our videos but will try to do better in the future ❤👍
@@BigIdeasGrowingMinds Thank you.
Marshall* haha
The first step towards a life of non-violence is moving towards a vegan lifestyle, when and wherever we are able to.