Why I left Alcoholics Anonymous after 15 years

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  • Опубліковано 18 лис 2024
  • this is just my experience
    life is beautiful and i love you all
    #rawvlog #videodiary #alcoholicsanonymous

КОМЕНТАРІ • 116

  • @VibeWithTrevor
    @VibeWithTrevor  6 днів тому +1

    Check out my podcast for inspiring life stories
    -Vibe With Humanity Podcast: ua-cam.com/play/PLS9Fnj2IbjtQzR6rwfuBPCf0HD9P0gR7O.html&si=pByo5RX6exaFLTM8

  • @TenaciouslyTina
    @TenaciouslyTina 6 днів тому +2

    100% agree with you! 14 years sober. My life is vastly broader now that I left. I am happy and at peace.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  6 днів тому +1

      That’s incredible to hear youre at peace 🙌

  • @Avievan91
    @Avievan91 29 днів тому +5

    Thank you for your honesty ! I just left AA after 2 1/2 years , I agree with you 100% , a meeting about 3 weeks ago , I suddenly woke up and thought “what the f**k am I doing here “, biggest awakening I’ve had , many of the rooms are full of narcissistic sociopaths 😮😢 I was so fearful of leaving , mainly because I was being told nothing else works except AA, what happened was , I become self aware and aware of others around me , including the harm AA was causing me. I will say I have met some truly kind , and caring people in AA, its not all bad or all good 😌

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  28 днів тому +4

      I feel the same way, also agree I met and still know some amazing people I met there 🙌

    • @siriush100
      @siriush100 25 днів тому +3

      It's where people with terrible addictions go to worship the beast of addiction. It can be done on your own. Rational Recovery helped me save my life.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  25 днів тому +1

      That’s awesome. I’ve heard of that but don’t have any experience. Good to have in the tool belt

  • @nantawong123
    @nantawong123 2 місяці тому +9

    I am a cranky old timer in AA. And I appreciate your candor and think you are doing well.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +3

      Hey, I love me some cranky old timers!

    • @rightcheer5096
      @rightcheer5096 Місяць тому +1

      24 years sober and I agree with the”cranky old timer.”

    • @Mark-pp7jy
      @Mark-pp7jy Місяць тому +2

      Sadly, at 2:04 your credibility took a severe hit. "All these oldtimers were telling me I was a piece of shit". I got sober around a bunch of "cranky" auto workers in Lansing, Michigan, and not a one of them ever said anything like that to me, or anyone else. So, your first story doesn't even fly. But, for the sake of discussion let's say you DID hear that in a meeting. How many times did you say something you wish you hadn't? Or screwed somebody over for drugs, or cheated on your girlfriend, or lied to your parents, coaches, employers, friends, etc? I'm guessing you didn't get to AA on a high note or because you were bored. Not everyone in AA is healthy, which is no different than government, education, healthcare, military, business, religion, law enforcement, financial institutions, sports, etc, etc. How small do you have to be to actually post a video, highlighting a big fat resentment?

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      🙌 🙏 thanks for sharing!

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      @Mark-pp7jy totally see your point of view, thank you for sharing!

  • @martinwarne4034
    @martinwarne4034 18 днів тому +4

    My final straw was when I told my sponsor I didn’t want to work with him anymore and he blocked me. He has 24 years. I do not want what he has. But I will never forget hearing some old timer calling a black person the N word. I will never forget it.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  18 днів тому +1

      oh man thats terrible, AA is not a racist program in my experience but of COURSE there will be racist people. Dude I hope someone shut that mfer, that sh*t has no place in AA. Thats hurtful your sponsor blocked you Im sorry that happened, hopefully you can find some humor in it now. Life good for you now?

  • @MJP1472
    @MJP1472 10 днів тому +2

    I respect you're choices, I've been in the meeting's for years, sometimes in, sometimes out, but never heard the "I'm a piece of shit" slogan that you regularly refer to.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  10 днів тому +1

      That’s awesome man glad meetings are helping you 🙏 . Thanks for sharing

  • @rebeccacrawford3520
    @rebeccacrawford3520 10 днів тому +2

    I'm 6 minutes in and I can tell that there is a misunderstanding with Step 1. AA saved my life and I know it's saved many others. I see it at meetings and I hear it in people's stories (I have been to SEVERAL celebrations of people who have been sober for WAY more than just 5 years so I'm not sure where your statistic came from but where I live AA is saving many many lives) I am powerless over alcohol - not powerless over weather I take the first drink - but IF I take the first drink it will trigger the physical allergy and I will continue to drink and then POSSIBLY, if I continue down the alcohol road I could eventually kill myself as this is a progressive dis-ease. I agree that genetics may not be a factor BUT family and societal conditioning does play a huge role in this dis-ease. I watched both my parents drink daily from the time I was born so I grew up thinking it was normal. Not sure why I'm writing this as it sounds like your experience sucked...I guess I want people to know that AA saves lives, if you CHOOSE to look at yourself and make the changes you need to make to ensure that alcohol doesn't kill you.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  10 днів тому +2

      Beautiful, very well written and well intentioned words thank you for sharing and I’m really glad AA is helping you 🙌

  • @lucywade6921
    @lucywade6921 28 днів тому +4

    So so sorry that was your experience. I am nearly 11 years sober and wouldn't be without AA. I wish you a happy healthy future

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  28 днів тому +1

      Thank you for that! I wish you a happy future as well 😃

  • @brettsteinbach708
    @brettsteinbach708 7 днів тому +1

    Thanks for sharing. I relate and agree with a lot You say. I've been going to AA in and out for almost 3 years. Keep Puffing on the weed, iys helps Me alot aswell ( Slowing down the Mind, Very True), Keep on with Schrooms ( I am due for another ). I'm still sober; As You said, Done is Done! No more booze. Keep Rocking Dude, Looking forward to Your next chat.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  7 днів тому +1

      Thanks man that’s amazing and super upbeat I love that. Positivity wins! Hey, sounds like your life is moving forward in the right direction, sounds like you’ve recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of body and mind…as they say. I bet if you went to page 52 for a bedevilment check you’re doing well there also. THATS sobriety, people get too hung up on a date or their ego lets them think they know what sobriety should be for the next person, everyone is different. It’s pretty simple: are you happy? Healthy? Working? Loving to others? Paying bills? Have hobbies and passions? Spiritual connection? And the BIGGEST one…can you sit alone and quietly with yourself and no distractions for long chunks of time (20 min+). I love seeing people comeback like you have. Thanks for sharing, enjoy your day!

  • @antoniochinea1946
    @antoniochinea1946 7 днів тому +1

    I’m happy you find a way to stay sober but I’ve been sober since 7/16/15 and the thing that I’ve learned is that No human power is going to relieve me from my alcoholism. I learned to rely on God and still go to meetings to help people that are hopeless and help them to find a way using the big book the way is outlined in the first 164 pages. Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s an individual journey and I’m glad you find yours as well as I did. Good luck sincerely Antonio from Bk

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  7 днів тому

      I love that man thank you for those beautiful words appreciate you sharing

  • @harryjones-haroldine
    @harryjones-haroldine Місяць тому +8

    Meetings & no Step work is just coffee & bullsh*t 😀 God speed 🙏

  • @annechristie469
    @annechristie469 Місяць тому +3

    I appreciate you. I started Alnon which is based on AA. I picked up on everything you’re saying. You are really helping many.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      That’s so awesome! I knew a lot of people who got amazing relief and made amazing connections with alanon. I hope it’s helping, at the end of the day I just want people to feel happy and whatever program or lifestyle provides that is beautiful

    • @sengathomson6439
      @sengathomson6439 Місяць тому +1

      Your entitled your you opinion and your research.
      I have tried many ways of getting sober. 10 yrs ago after 3 yrs sober, someone left a glass of wine at my home.. I knew it was there. Finally I drank it,sent me right to the store to get more.. 3 yrs sober bang,I was out of AA for 10 yrs,I had heard that before in aa.. that was never gonna happen to me,the Not Yets!
      Ended up in ER. Pancretittis.. that was my bottom. Again.. I lost/gave away so much h,too much!
      Easier softer way is going back to AA.. 18 days sober.. I wish you the best of luck.. 😊

    • @sengathomson6439
      @sengathomson6439 Місяць тому +1

      Remembering this is a disease.. it does kill.
      I'd rather be drunk,than dry. It's such a struggle without help for this is the easier softer way!

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      Man I’m glad to hear your back and everything is ok. Sorry that happened you got this thank you so much for sharing 🙏 🙌

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      Thats awesome it’s working for you my man happy to hear that thanks for sharing!

  • @thegabbybshow
    @thegabbybshow 8 днів тому +1

    Thank you for this. Three years in and out of the rooms and I finally snapped when my latest sponsor spent 45 minutes twice in one week to tell me how I'm the only problem and I haven't changed at all

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  8 днів тому

      I hear you. Unfortunately sometimes in AA there’s a fine line between helping vs abusing people

  • @jkls369
    @jkls369 27 днів тому +3

    The program is not meetings it's steps and working with a sponsor mentor and mentoring.... To anybody and everybody...
    The original 12th step stated, having a spiritual experience then carry this message to others and alcoholics. they removed it from the original manuscript...
    There was a lot removed from the original manuscript...
    The program is only designed to bring you to God as fast as possible.... It is also noted to be a spiritual kindergarten....

  • @susanhuckaby2999
    @susanhuckaby2999 Місяць тому +2

    I desperately needed to hear that. I have been haunted by shame the outdated AA has made it worse for me. That is just my experience. This helped me in many other way as well but I do thank you it was an a torn place.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      Thats all we can do is share our experience

  • @davidgeiser4636
    @davidgeiser4636 13 днів тому +1

    A.A. was an extremely helpful thing when I 1st got sober but after 2 years I left simply because I wanted to move on with my life and i couldn't do that going to meetings day after day talking about my drinking and all of the things you mentioned....I tried weed and had no problem with it, i was addicted to alcohol and every drug i did was when I was drunk so i still consider myself sober because i havent touch a drop in 14 1/2 years and honestly haven't even thought about going back, so i totally agree with you

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  13 днів тому +2

      That’s exactly how I feel! I also agree you’re sober. If others don’t, that’s ok, it’s their opinion. Not even the big book describes sobriety they don’t even talk about not drinking, the program is to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of body and mind. The founders were using all sorts of plant and chemical compounds. They’d be open to weed I bet. Sounds like you’ve recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of body and mind. Bet if you go to page 52 and read the bedevilments you’re doing just fine there too 🤙

  • @susanhuckaby2999
    @susanhuckaby2999 Місяць тому +3

    Thank you for speaking out so honestly

  • @VanillaCupcake36
    @VanillaCupcake36 21 день тому +2

    I hear what you’re saying. But for the greater good, Alcoholics Anonymous might be preventing some fatal drunken accidents! Maybe a few? Maybe. But yeah, I hear ya on that, I left AA a while back because I loathed it and had a hard time sustaining friendships in it, and so I just decided to give it a try in my own. Those meetings sometimes can be a shit show 😂😂

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  21 день тому +1

      Agree with you, anything that prevents death in any form can’t be completely written off

  • @James-re6co
    @James-re6co 20 днів тому +1

    89 years, 172 countries, 60+ translations worldwide..... That's a pretty good track record my dude. AA has never claimed to be the only game in town for getting sober, or for finding God. If people find another way... Our hats are off to them. Says it right there in the book.

  • @musicguy694
    @musicguy694 19 днів тому +1

    I was in AA for 10 years never had any problems at all with the fellowship. I dropped out but do owe them my life too. I also do not go to church anymore either.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  18 днів тому +2

      thats an awesome perspective and amazing way to look at your AA experience I love that positivity. At one point I was living in a homeless shelter with no ID, one pair of pants, no money no friends and no one would talk to me...yet people in AA took me in and people took me to get coffee and food and clothes. Ill never forget those people!

  • @chrisphillips4232
    @chrisphillips4232 28 днів тому +4

    It’s not for everyone and that’s a fact. I haven’t experienced the negativity you have but it’s your experience and your decision. It works for the folks that really want it. And many people just stop because they really want it. What I get out of it is that I am the black sheep in my family and it’s nice to have fellowship with others who understand. AA can’t get anyone sober. That’s on the individual

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  28 днів тому

      Appreciate you sharing your perspective ❤️ 🙌

  • @judenowinski4344
    @judenowinski4344 17 днів тому +1

    Great video. Thanks so much. I hope alcoholics anonymous goes out of existence.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  15 днів тому +1

      thanks for the feedback! Hey I totally get your perspective, I have damage from that program too. Dont mean to give unsolicited advice here, but I always try to keep in mind that AA has helped and is helping a lot of people, and there are for sure a lot of amazing people in there. That usually helps me when I start getting pissed at stuff I experienced in there. Don't mean to soap box you here not my intention, thanks for the input

  • @CodySchwabe
    @CodySchwabe Місяць тому +3

    I quit drinking. Weed is legal here in Canada to buy at stores, so I figured I would do that because at least it isnt whiskey. All that did was make me extra paranoid about drinking, so now I do neither. Smoking some green is certainly not nearly as destructive as alcohol though.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      Yep it’s for sure healthier but everyone is different and weed is not for everyone that’s for sure. Man that’s awesome self awareness monitoring how things are affecting your psychie. Awareness is crucial for long term sobriety, as you know. So glad to hear you don’t drink! Life so much better without. Right on thanks for sharing! 🍁

    • @dorismahoney1440
      @dorismahoney1440 Місяць тому +1

      I know ppl who are sm9k8ng all day long. The lung damage, spending all their discretionary money. Hanging w folks who smoke. You are more likely to meet heavy users amongst folks qjo already do dope than folks who do no drug.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      That’s def true, gotta be super careful who uou surround yourself with

    • @words4dyslexicon
      @words4dyslexicon Місяць тому +1

      ​@@VibeWithTrevor
      I'm 3+ yrs no drink, but what some AAers would call "California Sober"
      I eat homegrown weed, it helps me have deep sleep, good for playing guitar, yoga, stretching, etc.
      but i made a deal with myself that if using weed made me steered me toward drink, then I would give up the weed becuz I just don't want any alcohol in my life!
      everyone's different, foe some people, the weed bone is connected to the drink bone,
      I don't do pain killers, sedatives, benzos, coke ,speed, etc. becuz for me, from experience, it would tend to lead me back to alcohol & I cannot afford to flush life down that drain..

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому

      Right there with ya thanks for sharing! 🙌

  • @allansegall4502
    @allansegall4502 Місяць тому +6

    I hear you. I could only get sober once I left the preying eyes of AA. For me the greatest danger is in the whole 'sponsorship' arrangement, insofar as you give your possibly unscrupulous sponsor total control over your life. Btw, one of my sponsors stopped taking his psyche-meds. Within a few months, he committed suicide. So much for AA wisdom.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому

      So sorry to hear that, I was also told to get off mine multiple times by people who def weren’t doctors. In my opinion the most challenging part of AA is when you enter the program. You don’t know who’s spiritually sick and who isn’t because everyone sounds the same given they all quote the book. So you have to be extremely careful who you pick to sponsor you. And never forget, that sponsor is just a person like you trying to get through life, they’re not god.

    • @dorismahoney1440
      @dorismahoney1440 Місяць тому +1

      ​@VibeWithTrevor I have read this on line groups etc.
      Yet I have never heard of it around here.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      That’s a good thing!

  • @dorismahoney1440
    @dorismahoney1440 Місяць тому +1

    A lot of folks stop. My dad did. He died sober. I learned a lot in recovery . Mainly 2 ppl.

  • @thomasstark7498
    @thomasstark7498 Місяць тому +4

    The mean people thing I never ever experienced it

  • @MrMerrrrrrr
    @MrMerrrrrrr Місяць тому +2

    Thanks 🙏🏿 for sharing your experience ❤

  • @pannitalmadge7464
    @pannitalmadge7464 9 днів тому +1

    I agree

  • @MaryAckerson-i3w
    @MaryAckerson-i3w День тому +1

    Thank❤you

  • @masonc2649
    @masonc2649 Місяць тому +3

    I'm a real alcoholic and it works if you work it. If you don't nothing happens. No one should have told you that "everything will work out for you" because they can't know that.

  • @tmoh99
    @tmoh99 Місяць тому +1

    I’ve never ran into that mean spiritedness and sorry you did. Also the opposition to psyche meds is not anything I experienced. I think your emphasis on the worth of certain Steps is accurate.
    One great AA speaker Mark H mentions Tolle and a specific path I think you’d appreciate.
    Side note- Bill W was an advocate for LSD as a therapeutic

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      That’s awesome thanks for the suggestion! 🙌 🙏

  • @petersmith6701
    @petersmith6701 Місяць тому

    Good luck bud, god bless.

  • @nechopesina2973
    @nechopesina2973 2 дні тому +1

    🐘❤️❤️❤️❤️🐘

  • @dorismahoney1440
    @dorismahoney1440 Місяць тому +1

    Staying is to help the newcomer n encourage the old timer.

  • @ArabelleRaz369
    @ArabelleRaz369 Місяць тому +2

    Thank you❤

  • @judenowinski4344
    @judenowinski4344 17 днів тому +1

    Also. They are liars period.

  • @DianeDoody
    @DianeDoody Місяць тому +2

    How can you be sober when your still going to a dealer....

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      I recorded this months ago so I can’t remember what part you’re referring to my bad

  • @claudeross126
    @claudeross126 13 днів тому +1

    32 yrs sober and I agree with the trash that's involved with people in AA , the program itself is a great guide to live with principles as life goes on. I am on anti depression medication which helps but doesn't cure . I don't have any desire to use pot or other mood change drugs.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  13 днів тому +1

      Right on man you def have a solid program for yourself! Appreciate you sharing all that.

  • @jdmercard
    @jdmercard 28 днів тому +1

    The message you received in your meetings is not associated with AA. If it's not in the Big Book, it's not AA. If you actually read the book, it's all about hope.
    Additionally, the only reason the success rates have fallen is because people think it's a place to come dump their problems and share their opinions. If you actually do what the book says, it's 100% that you'll recover.
    Overall, I'm sad that was your experience but it sound like bad meetings and others opinions drove you out, not AA.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  28 днів тому +1

      I appreciate your perspective thanks for sharing 🙌

    • @jtranmer64
      @jtranmer64 22 дні тому +1

      Excuse me, no. It was in fact AA that drove them out. If I asked 10 random people on the street "what do you picture in your head when I say the words 'AA'" you're most likely going to find 8 or 9 out of 10 people would say, "Oh yea, those meetings in church basements with folding chairs and bad coffee?". Lol, it's part of the damn fabric of our culture that AA is about the meetings. If somebody gets court ordered to go to AA, they aren't sentenced to be able to go in a room by themselves and study the almighty big book by themselves and ..ponder its magnificence and complete genius and completely non sexist and overly obvious Christian religious understandings of God..... ..... Just sayin. Anyway, yea, that doesn't happen. They go to the meetings. Which almost all are chocked full of arrogant, wife beating, narcissistic douchebags. Combine this with the convenient, lazy, pandering nature of AA, complete with fake emotions and concern for others, and you have smart people like myself eventually getting the hint and running for the hills. I am selfish enough, thank you. Why would I go to an environment where that side of me would be encouraged in any way? Just the attention seeking aspect I observed and became part of, it makes me wanna throw up. So I stand up and announce to a room of strangers that I've reached 6 months of sobriety. And? Why does the amount of time matter? Old Bob over there who's been going to the meeting for 40 years, he could secretly be a serial killer and cutting people up and shit for all I know. But because he's got 40 years, oh yea, he knows a thing or 2, he can show ya. Time Sober = BETTER NO MATTER WHAT and psychologically speaking, focusing on time sober, with chips and what not, don't even fucking get me started. This is kids stuff. This is Recovery for Dummies. This is adult children whos lives went a bit off the rails crave attention and validate themselves and make themselves feel like they care and give a shit about anyone else. They still don't, and their "support" for you immediately shuts off if you question the program, etc. is equally terrible, but I digress. Yea, don't go. Don't get caught up. It's such bullshit and our society deserves better than for intelligent people to be subject to this crap. Especially with propaganda saying it's still the best game in town for treating the "disease" of addiction. Yes, a disease so terrible that you can be told you have it without having a Medical Doctors diagnosis. Oh, but it's more of a Spiritual Malady! Ok fine, but you can't have it both ways then. Don't fill our medical field and counselors, psychiatrists, etc. with quacks who will tell you the best thing to do is go to a meeting. I have no problem saying this, AA can go fuck itself. This nonsense is what created this current climate where we have morons at all levels doing AA lip service just to get more people coming through the doors. It's sickening. If it is indeed a real medical disease, then treat it like a real god damn disease. But pick one. The problem can't be medical, just to have the solution be the nonsense, half assed, pandering lazy bit of crap that is AAs ideas.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  15 днів тому +1

      😬

  • @kerrygooch8390
    @kerrygooch8390 23 дні тому +1

    Love this!!!! My thoughts, hi I'm Kerry I'm an alcoholic???? No hi I'm kerry and wvery day I grateful for..... our word is our wand!!

  • @dorismahoney1440
    @dorismahoney1440 Місяць тому +1

    Around 7 min. I would rather be dependent on AA than the dealers. Ya, I never want to forget being desperate n afraid of dying, homeless, addicted.
    It's a way to be social w folks who don't want to drink n drug.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +2

      yep, AA meetings beat drinking and drugging thats for sure! And you can find amazing community in AA, thanks for sharing

  • @susanhuckaby2999
    @susanhuckaby2999 Місяць тому +1

    I desperately needed to hear that. I have been haunted by shame the outdated AA has made it worse for me. That is just my experience. This helped me in many other way as well but I do thank you it was an a torn place.