Why I left Alcoholics Anonymous after 15 years

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  • Опубліковано 24 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 216

  • @VibeWithTrevor
    @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +2

    Check out my podcast for inspiring life stories
    -Vibe With Humanity Podcast: ua-cam.com/play/PLS9Fnj2IbjtQzR6rwfuBPCf0HD9P0gR7O.html&si=pByo5RX6exaFLTM8

  • @TenaciouslyTina
    @TenaciouslyTina Місяць тому +6

    100% agree with you! 14 years sober. My life is vastly broader now that I left. I am happy and at peace.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      That’s incredible to hear youre at peace 🙌

    • @TenaciouslyTina
      @TenaciouslyTina 22 дні тому +2

      @@VibeWithTrevor It takes work, being true to oneself. AA is what helped me get sober. I found it limited my healing and growth. There are so many paths.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  21 день тому

      love that, so many paths!

  • @nantawong123
    @nantawong123 3 місяці тому +11

    I am a cranky old timer in AA. And I appreciate your candor and think you are doing well.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  3 місяці тому +3

      Hey, I love me some cranky old timers!

    • @rightcheer5096
      @rightcheer5096 2 місяці тому +1

      24 years sober and I agree with the”cranky old timer.”

    • @Mark-pp7jy
      @Mark-pp7jy 2 місяці тому +4

      Sadly, at 2:04 your credibility took a severe hit. "All these oldtimers were telling me I was a piece of shit". I got sober around a bunch of "cranky" auto workers in Lansing, Michigan, and not a one of them ever said anything like that to me, or anyone else. So, your first story doesn't even fly. But, for the sake of discussion let's say you DID hear that in a meeting. How many times did you say something you wish you hadn't? Or screwed somebody over for drugs, or cheated on your girlfriend, or lied to your parents, coaches, employers, friends, etc? I'm guessing you didn't get to AA on a high note or because you were bored. Not everyone in AA is healthy, which is no different than government, education, healthcare, military, business, religion, law enforcement, financial institutions, sports, etc, etc. How small do you have to be to actually post a video, highlighting a big fat resentment?

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      🙌 🙏 thanks for sharing!

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      @Mark-pp7jy totally see your point of view, thank you for sharing!

  • @antoniochinea1946
    @antoniochinea1946 Місяць тому +4

    I’m happy you find a way to stay sober but I’ve been sober since 7/16/15 and the thing that I’ve learned is that No human power is going to relieve me from my alcoholism. I learned to rely on God and still go to meetings to help people that are hopeless and help them to find a way using the big book the way is outlined in the first 164 pages. Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s an individual journey and I’m glad you find yours as well as I did. Good luck sincerely Antonio from Bk

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому

      I love that man thank you for those beautiful words appreciate you sharing

  • @lucywade6921
    @lucywade6921 2 місяці тому +6

    So so sorry that was your experience. I am nearly 11 years sober and wouldn't be without AA. I wish you a happy healthy future

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      Thank you for that! I wish you a happy future as well 😃

    • @davidgeiser4636
      @davidgeiser4636 2 дні тому

      @lucywade6921 I wish you a happy future but in my experience and I have a lot with AA and went to at least 1000 meetings, once I did 120 meetings in 90 days, my record was 6 in one day in 3 states but a couple of years into sobriety I realized I don't fear alcohol or living a sober life and didn't want to talk about my drinking at every meeting, I wanted to move on with my life and not be defined by what I was, I'm still a recovering alcoholic and always will be but I don't define myself by it, lose the fear and lose the urge and it's not needed. I get that it's a great community and we make great friends so I don't criticize people who do it but I just feel that if that if it's still needed after long time sobriety the fear is still there.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  День тому

      🫡

  • @wild_idaho4666
    @wild_idaho4666 Місяць тому +3

    I can appreciate what you have to say and respect your opinion. It sounds like you were in kind of a messed up fellowship. I've been in three different fellowships. The first was in CA and it was super judgemental, people were vain and truly only cared about themselves. The next two were in ID and now MT. The people in the fellowship have never called each other a POS and are not judgemental at all. They just want to trudge the road with you and help you. That's my experience, and I just think it depends what fellowship you're in. However at the same time I do think that our own willpower is the ultimate deciding factor. But there are principles of AA and working the steps that have made me a much, much better person.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому

      That’s beautiful man, such loving intention in those words I felt and appreciate that. I agree with all of it, definitely every fellowship is different. AA has 100% helped people, no doubt. And for sure every fellowship different. We are rough as fk out here in sac I guess. First meeting I ever attended was called Indian Charlie’s, it doesn’t exist anymore. I was only 3 days sober and was interrupted in sharing (I was asked to share didn’t volunteer) by a middle aged lady saying “you’re drinking 3 days after getting out of a rehab your parents paid for? You’re a piece of shit you’re not ready you need to leave and go drink”, then paused and looked at me. She fkn meant it, so I stood up on the spot and left. That’s how I started my AA career. I saw several others across multiple fellowships insulted hurtfully like that at group level and in “the meetings after the meetings”.

    • @wild_idaho4666
      @wild_idaho4666 Місяць тому +1

      ​@@VibeWithTrevorI can say with certainty if that lady would have said that in either of the last two fellowships I've been a part of she would have been asked to leave. You do not treat a newcomer like that.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  29 днів тому

      Sounds like you’ve got some amazing groups love to hear it. Thanks for sharing

  • @thegabbybshow
    @thegabbybshow Місяць тому +2

    Thank you for this. Three years in and out of the rooms and I finally snapped when my latest sponsor spent 45 minutes twice in one week to tell me how I'm the only problem and I haven't changed at all

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      I hear you. Unfortunately sometimes in AA there’s a fine line between helping vs abusing people

  • @annechristie469
    @annechristie469 2 місяці тому +3

    I appreciate you. I started Alnon which is based on AA. I picked up on everything you’re saying. You are really helping many.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      That’s so awesome! I knew a lot of people who got amazing relief and made amazing connections with alanon. I hope it’s helping, at the end of the day I just want people to feel happy and whatever program or lifestyle provides that is beautiful

    • @sengathomson6439
      @sengathomson6439 2 місяці тому +1

      Your entitled your you opinion and your research.
      I have tried many ways of getting sober. 10 yrs ago after 3 yrs sober, someone left a glass of wine at my home.. I knew it was there. Finally I drank it,sent me right to the store to get more.. 3 yrs sober bang,I was out of AA for 10 yrs,I had heard that before in aa.. that was never gonna happen to me,the Not Yets!
      Ended up in ER. Pancretittis.. that was my bottom. Again.. I lost/gave away so much h,too much!
      Easier softer way is going back to AA.. 18 days sober.. I wish you the best of luck.. 😊

    • @sengathomson6439
      @sengathomson6439 2 місяці тому +1

      Remembering this is a disease.. it does kill.
      I'd rather be drunk,than dry. It's such a struggle without help for this is the easier softer way!

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      Man I’m glad to hear your back and everything is ok. Sorry that happened you got this thank you so much for sharing 🙏 🙌

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      Thats awesome it’s working for you my man happy to hear that thanks for sharing!

  • @dominikm3475
    @dominikm3475 25 днів тому +1

    Hi , Thank You for this video . Sorry to hear You had a such experience in AA. I’m in AA for 10 years and nobody called me piece of s 1 time. My Sponsor is caring and honest. I worked with about 40 addicts last 2 years and around 15 of them went through 12 steps and helping others. I’m recommending listening to Bob D., Sandy B. , Chuck C. I had same doubts as You , but it was part of the another surrender. Sponsoring, meetings, praying and feeling like I’m about to go insane or drink. This is where I had to let go of control and give it my life again to God. I could go for mushrooms, CBT , MJ or another antidepressant , but I went deeper into this darkness looking for a closer relation with my HP and asking people who had the same experience. All good for You. Let us know how this way of life work for You in 1 year .:) Be present.

  • @leemackay888
    @leemackay888 11 днів тому +1

    I dunno buddy , i struggled in aa for 23 yrs. When i actually did the work they suggested all along i got and stayed sober. Hope ya find your peace brother

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  10 днів тому +1

      Thanks man. Love the dog!! Appreciate your input. Have a great weekend 🤙

  • @shanti_hoops_
    @shanti_hoops_ 22 дні тому

    Thanks for this! I feel sooo much of what you said. It’s really a relief to know people out there have had the same experience and are still sober on the other side. I’ve been toying with the idea of leaving the program from several months, going back and forth. When I step into my power I really feel like I may be better off without it.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  22 дні тому

      Hey thanks for sharing! Someone shared with me once a simple way to look at it when I was seriously considering leaving. It helped me make the decision that was best for me. “If it feels good, keep doing it. If it doesn’t, stop”. Now, that’s grossly oversimplified and downplays the severity of the question at hand…but gets the wheels spinning!

  • @HarryHamsterChannel
    @HarryHamsterChannel 17 днів тому +2

    I like the absence of malice in your evaluation. You seem to have certain strengths that most alcoholics do not usually possess. Start a meeting. They need you.
    AA is employed as a a punishment for problem drinkers by outside sources, rather than a source of spirituality, where it's strengths exist.
    Most alcoholics are indeed "Stupid mean". It's not an easy crowd to get along with, unless you're a good-looking woman. The guys flock over them like crows.
    And don't expect AA members to have your back. The constant churn of drifting members makes sincere friendships hard to find. Getting more deeply involved in "service work" will expose one to some of the most difficult members to deal with. I found the advent of smart phoness brought a seismic shift to the demeanor within meetings. The spiritual fundamentals of the program are sound, but are now seldom emphasized. Also,, I find that simply not talking about weed, meds and 'shrooms avoids a lot of friction. It's nobody's business.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  17 днів тому

      Great read, those are well thought out observations thanks for sharing. I actually would’ve never correlated the smart phone thing, I for sure saw that!

  • @Avievan91
    @Avievan91 2 місяці тому +5

    Thank you for your honesty ! I just left AA after 2 1/2 years , I agree with you 100% , a meeting about 3 weeks ago , I suddenly woke up and thought “what the f**k am I doing here “, biggest awakening I’ve had , many of the rooms are full of narcissistic sociopaths 😮😢 I was so fearful of leaving , mainly because I was being told nothing else works except AA, what happened was , I become self aware and aware of others around me , including the harm AA was causing me. I will say I have met some truly kind , and caring people in AA, its not all bad or all good 😌

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +4

      I feel the same way, also agree I met and still know some amazing people I met there 🙌

    • @siriush100
      @siriush100 2 місяці тому +3

      It's where people with terrible addictions go to worship the beast of addiction. It can be done on your own. Rational Recovery helped me save my life.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      That’s awesome. I’ve heard of that but don’t have any experience. Good to have in the tool belt

  • @susanhuckaby2999
    @susanhuckaby2999 2 місяці тому +2

    I desperately needed to hear that. I have been haunted by shame the outdated AA has made it worse for me. That is just my experience. This helped me in many other way as well but I do thank you it was an a torn place.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      Thats all we can do is share our experience

  • @James-re6co
    @James-re6co Місяць тому +3

    89 years, 172 countries, 60+ translations worldwide..... That's a pretty good track record my dude. AA has never claimed to be the only game in town for getting sober, or for finding God. If people find another way... Our hats are off to them. Says it right there in the book.

  • @jkls369
    @jkls369 2 місяці тому +4

    The program is not meetings it's steps and working with a sponsor mentor and mentoring.... To anybody and everybody...
    The original 12th step stated, having a spiritual experience then carry this message to others and alcoholics. they removed it from the original manuscript...
    There was a lot removed from the original manuscript...
    The program is only designed to bring you to God as fast as possible.... It is also noted to be a spiritual kindergarten....

  • @MJP1472
    @MJP1472 Місяць тому +3

    I respect you're choices, I've been in the meeting's for years, sometimes in, sometimes out, but never heard the "I'm a piece of shit" slogan that you regularly refer to.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      That’s awesome man glad meetings are helping you 🙏 . Thanks for sharing

  • @therealdanimal07
    @therealdanimal07 15 днів тому +1

    Man, I’m so glad this showed up on my UA-cam feed. I’ve been saying this to my wife for over a year. And she’s the one that encouraged me to take edibles and it’s changed everything. I personally feel like AA is a cult because if you don’t do one thing That they say then you’re doing it wrong and you’re gonna drink and you’re gonna die. It’s all smoke and mirrors. It doesn’t matter what you do unless you get to the point of where you or your wife or significant other says I’m done then nothing‘s going to happen. I was always told that you had to do it for yourself and not for anybody else but I always was doing it for myself and I was always relapsing. Tell my wife said she was done and I got my attention. I read/listen to a good book. How did you quit drinking without willpower I thought was Phenomenal And I see a counselor once a week and I’m sober.
    Thanks for the great video. Much appreciated.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  14 днів тому

      The “you’re one thought from a drink and one drink from death” mantra is by far the sickest and most self abusive part of anything that came from AA. Second biggest lie is that you can’t do it for other people. I quit drinking for my 2 year old (at the time) daughter, still haven’t had a drink. When you’re done, you’re gonna stop drinking & using, period. When the consequences are sufficient enough you will find the “willpower” to not drink. We aren’t powerless, quite the opposite actually, our brains are basically wet quantum computers capable of miracles

  • @newguy5921
    @newguy5921 День тому

    Great video, I can relate to distancing yourself from the program. AA is certainly not a requirement for maintaining sobriety.

  • @judenowinski4344
    @judenowinski4344 Місяць тому +2

    Great video. Thanks so much. I hope alcoholics anonymous goes out of existence.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      thanks for the feedback! Hey I totally get your perspective, I have damage from that program too. Dont mean to give unsolicited advice here, but I always try to keep in mind that AA has helped and is helping a lot of people, and there are for sure a lot of amazing people in there. That usually helps me when I start getting pissed at stuff I experienced in there. Don't mean to soap box you here not my intention, thanks for the input

  • @HeatherClark-f5b
    @HeatherClark-f5b 25 днів тому +3

    Some people go to AA for years and don't ever work the steps
    They just go for the fellowship
    I used to judge them for that but I don't anymore because if having fellowship keeps them happy and keeps them sober then it is all good

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  25 днів тому

      Love that positive perspective thanks. Hey if they’re sober and happy and AA is a vehicle that helped them, I think that’s a win!

  • @davidgeiser4636
    @davidgeiser4636 Місяць тому +3

    A.A. was an extremely helpful thing when I 1st got sober but after 2 years I left simply because I wanted to move on with my life and i couldn't do that going to meetings day after day talking about my drinking and all of the things you mentioned....I tried weed and had no problem with it, i was addicted to alcohol and every drug i did was when I was drunk so i still consider myself sober because i havent touch a drop in 14 1/2 years and honestly haven't even thought about going back, so i totally agree with you

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +4

      That’s exactly how I feel! I also agree you’re sober. If others don’t, that’s ok, it’s their opinion. Not even the big book describes sobriety they don’t even talk about not drinking, the program is to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of body and mind. The founders were using all sorts of plant and chemical compounds. They’d be open to weed I bet. Sounds like you’ve recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of body and mind. Bet if you go to page 52 and read the bedevilments you’re doing just fine there too 🤙

    • @davidgeiser4636
      @davidgeiser4636 22 дні тому +1

      @VibeWithTrevor I'm starting to see now that it's legal where I live more and more of the A.A. friends I still keep in touch with are doing it where before they didn't or didn't admit it...I only tried it for awhile but it seemed to effect some meds I'm on so I stopped but I never saw anything wrong with it for others, people that were addicts still drink socially that I knew so I feel as long as we give up the thing we were totally addicted to we are still sober, I mean I wouldn't recommend it to a newcomer but once their sobriety is on firm ground and they're done with that substance then I see no problem with it. Never heard of a person getting angry, violent or having domestic issues on weed...lol

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  20 днів тому

      Extremely well thought out message. That’s how I feel exactly. I’ve never thought of putting it that way as long as you’re off the main thing that you were addicted to. Also that’s really good self awareness to monitor weeds interaction with meds. Weed is not for everyone, but it 100% helps a lot of people in recovery and it’s WAY more common than people are acknowledging.

    • @ebecks08
      @ebecks08 18 днів тому +1

      ​@@VibeWithTrevor I'm an Active member of NA. My sponsee smokes weed because she had seizures. But I still take her through the steps cause I have no issue with it. I just know that I can't do it myself

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  17 днів тому +1

      @ebecks that’s amazing of you, thank you for sharing that. In my opinion weed, used properly (it’s not for everyone), doesn’t block spiritual connection. Have a great weekend

  • @CodySchwabe
    @CodySchwabe 2 місяці тому +6

    I quit drinking. Weed is legal here in Canada to buy at stores, so I figured I would do that because at least it isnt whiskey. All that did was make me extra paranoid about drinking, so now I do neither. Smoking some green is certainly not nearly as destructive as alcohol though.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      Yep it’s for sure healthier but everyone is different and weed is not for everyone that’s for sure. Man that’s awesome self awareness monitoring how things are affecting your psychie. Awareness is crucial for long term sobriety, as you know. So glad to hear you don’t drink! Life so much better without. Right on thanks for sharing! 🍁

    • @dorismahoney1440
      @dorismahoney1440 2 місяці тому +1

      I know ppl who are sm9k8ng all day long. The lung damage, spending all their discretionary money. Hanging w folks who smoke. You are more likely to meet heavy users amongst folks qjo already do dope than folks who do no drug.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      That’s def true, gotta be super careful who uou surround yourself with

    • @words4dyslexicon
      @words4dyslexicon 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@@VibeWithTrevor
      I'm 3+ yrs no drink, but what some AAers would call "California Sober"
      I eat homegrown weed, it helps me have deep sleep, good for playing guitar, yoga, stretching, etc.
      but i made a deal with myself that if using weed made me steered me toward drink, then I would give up the weed becuz I just don't want any alcohol in my life!
      everyone's different, foe some people, the weed bone is connected to the drink bone,
      I don't do pain killers, sedatives, benzos, coke ,speed, etc. becuz for me, from experience, it would tend to lead me back to alcohol & I cannot afford to flush life down that drain..

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому

      Right there with ya thanks for sharing! 🙌

  • @brettsteinbach708
    @brettsteinbach708 Місяць тому +1

    Thanks for sharing. I relate and agree with a lot You say. I've been going to AA in and out for almost 3 years. Keep Puffing on the weed, iys helps Me alot aswell ( Slowing down the Mind, Very True), Keep on with Schrooms ( I am due for another ). I'm still sober; As You said, Done is Done! No more booze. Keep Rocking Dude, Looking forward to Your next chat.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      Thanks man that’s amazing and super upbeat I love that. Positivity wins! Hey, sounds like your life is moving forward in the right direction, sounds like you’ve recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of body and mind…as they say. I bet if you went to page 52 for a bedevilment check you’re doing well there also. THATS sobriety, people get too hung up on a date or their ego lets them think they know what sobriety should be for the next person, everyone is different. It’s pretty simple: are you happy? Healthy? Working? Loving to others? Paying bills? Have hobbies and passions? Spiritual connection? And the BIGGEST one…can you sit alone and quietly with yourself and no distractions for long chunks of time (20 min+). I love seeing people comeback like you have. Thanks for sharing, enjoy your day!

  • @susanhuckaby2999
    @susanhuckaby2999 2 місяці тому +3

    Thank you for speaking out so honestly

  • @GladiatorTies
    @GladiatorTies 14 днів тому +1

    Great video! I like the advocacy for responsible marijuana use in recovery.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  14 днів тому

      Hey thanks! I love responsible cannabis use! It’s a privilege to be able to use it given our backgrounds, so rules and structures and boundaries need to be in place. In my opinion. May make a video on weed use in sobriety because I want people to understand it’s a very serious decision to consider using it and there are foundational rules that can’t be broken if you have a history with addiction. Anyhow have a great day

  • @HeatherClark-f5b
    @HeatherClark-f5b 26 днів тому +2

    I will be going on Christmas day, where they put on a nice lunch, only because I have no one else to spend Christmas with
    I plan to just ignore all of the toxic people and rise above it
    I will not be there because of any temptation to drink
    I will be there because I'm lonely, that's all

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  26 днів тому +1

      Incredible place to be on Christmas! 🎄 those meetings are great and people hang all day. Everybody there on Christmas is always super grateful to be sober and happy to be with a community. The Christmas spirit alive, candy and cookies everywhere. Those are some amazing times. I’m sorry you don’t have anyone to spend it with, the fellowship is such a blessing there

  • @patrikstewart6059
    @patrikstewart6059 22 дні тому +2

    Excellent! My feelings are the same....AA means absolute authority...

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  22 дні тому

      There could definitely be more open mindedness and flexibility for sure

  • @mariadaly4673
    @mariadaly4673 Місяць тому +1

    I had a horrible experience after a year in AA i got close to one of the women there who was lovely to me. Unfortunately i ended up in hospital very scared and in a very lonely place. She had the audacity to abuse me by text telling me i was a disgrace at my lowest place. This is from a woman who was only sober a few years and had been sectioned in a mental hospital for her alcoholism and set fire to her house with her kid inside. I was incredibly hurt and i just couldn't face it again. I decided to go to another AA and found out that the men that go there some of whom are not alcoholic go there to pick up vulnerable women. Awful experience would never go back there.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      I’m sorry those things happened. Ya the men thing, that’s called “the 13th step” and it’s gross. I’ve also been abused by a sponsor horribly when my 3 week old daughter was hospitalized in niccu and I was crying to him he told me I was making it about myself and to get off my cross because “we need the wood”. I could feel it was not a lesson delivered with love, he was trying to hurt me at one of my lowest points. Sponsors are just regular people, no training.

    • @mariadaly4673
      @mariadaly4673 Місяць тому +1

      @VibeWithTrevor I think AA has turned into a popularity contest these days of who can best eachother and be sober the longest. There's a lot of anger hatred and jealousy in those rooms and not the place with caring and kind people. I'm so sorry for what you went through. Thank you for your lovely message 🙂

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      You too!

  • @allansegall4502
    @allansegall4502 2 місяці тому +7

    I hear you. I could only get sober once I left the preying eyes of AA. For me the greatest danger is in the whole 'sponsorship' arrangement, insofar as you give your possibly unscrupulous sponsor total control over your life. Btw, one of my sponsors stopped taking his psyche-meds. Within a few months, he committed suicide. So much for AA wisdom.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому

      So sorry to hear that, I was also told to get off mine multiple times by people who def weren’t doctors. In my opinion the most challenging part of AA is when you enter the program. You don’t know who’s spiritually sick and who isn’t because everyone sounds the same given they all quote the book. So you have to be extremely careful who you pick to sponsor you. And never forget, that sponsor is just a person like you trying to get through life, they’re not god.

    • @dorismahoney1440
      @dorismahoney1440 2 місяці тому +1

      ​@VibeWithTrevor I have read this on line groups etc.
      Yet I have never heard of it around here.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      That’s a good thing!

  • @dorismahoney1440
    @dorismahoney1440 2 місяці тому +1

    A lot of folks stop. My dad did. He died sober. I learned a lot in recovery . Mainly 2 ppl.

  • @johnball8758
    @johnball8758 Місяць тому +2

    I've always had a problem with the AA is the only way idea. Why don't they study other methods? The first thing they do is make you do 90 meetings in 90 days. A difficult thing for someone who works 60 hours a week. It's impossible to engage with people from so many meetings.I developed a resentment to meetings. I'm doing fine without AA.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому

      The “AA is the only way” mentality is why it’s dying out. And it’s definitely dying out as people have access to more information. What’s a shame is the founders of AA were ACTUALLY open minded, somehow it turned into a militant all or nothing mentality when it comes to AA. I don’t believe there’s only one path to God, and I don’t believe there’s only one path to a happy life (sober or not). Everything is about balance. AA has and continues to help a lot of people, but it needs to incorporate media, science, neuroscience immediately or they’re done.

  • @blindwatchmaker2345
    @blindwatchmaker2345 19 днів тому +1

    My experience with AA; newcomers aren't welcomed as I was in NA/CA. Traditions, especially 3, isn't honoured where i went.
    It was a weekly get together for the oldtimers, but a newcomer was seen as an intruder.
    I did NA and CA meetings, worked steps and did the suggested things and have a wonderful life worth living.
    The program works, if you work it. But it's a program of complete abstinence.....

  • @steveelam2310
    @steveelam2310 Місяць тому +1

    I stopped going because the repetitive nature of readings, got so old,hearing same people share over n over,felt stuck,was time to break free,still sober, life's good

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому

      Amazing you went for it! Breaking free when you’re deep in there is terrifying. Super glad you’re happy and sober now thanks for sharing 🙏

  • @mt_gox
    @mt_gox Місяць тому +1

    "The Easy Way To Stop Drinking" - Alan Carr

  • @musicguy694
    @musicguy694 Місяць тому +1

    I was in AA for 10 years never had any problems at all with the fellowship. I dropped out but do owe them my life too. I also do not go to church anymore either.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +2

      thats an awesome perspective and amazing way to look at your AA experience I love that positivity. At one point I was living in a homeless shelter with no ID, one pair of pants, no money no friends and no one would talk to me...yet people in AA took me in and people took me to get coffee and food and clothes. Ill never forget those people!

  • @chrisphillips4232
    @chrisphillips4232 2 місяці тому +4

    It’s not for everyone and that’s a fact. I haven’t experienced the negativity you have but it’s your experience and your decision. It works for the folks that really want it. And many people just stop because they really want it. What I get out of it is that I am the black sheep in my family and it’s nice to have fellowship with others who understand. AA can’t get anyone sober. That’s on the individual

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому

      Appreciate you sharing your perspective ❤️ 🙌

  • @thomasstark7498
    @thomasstark7498 2 місяці тому +5

    The mean people thing I never ever experienced it

  • @endeavouringit
    @endeavouringit Місяць тому +1

    I'm maybe not considered an alcoholic, but I drink and a 61 year old female. I've drunk various amounts at different times in my life, I took myself to rehab around 2013, and it was based around AA. I found many were judgemental, the group I joined when I left rehab weren't open to real heavy drinkers not so well educated, and spoke about those no hopers who were going to be at one of the Christmas meetings and lunch, WTF, what sort of people are they ?? I stopped as I found it very cliquey.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому

      I’m sorry you felt judged. That can happen in there for sure. How’s life for you these days?

  • @MarkSilvester-g3j
    @MarkSilvester-g3j 9 днів тому

    Mushrooms? I used to pick them and use them back in the 80’s good for a while then a firm of psychosis kicked in. I’ve worked in mental health for 22 years and I’m also a recovering alcoholic. As for AA. There is always good and bad everywhere to the one united effort is to stay sober. Hope the mushrooms dont take you down the mind road they took me and others .. eventually. Take care Buddy. Mark ( UK)🙏👍

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  9 днів тому

      What’s up UK! Thanks for the kind words, Mark, and the warning, I appreciate it. You’re right, staying grounded on mushrooms is key. Years ago, I took them too often for my physiology (about once a week), and it led to mild psychosis. I started thinking the “universe” was talking to me all the time, got obsessed with energies and frequencies, and got really confused about spirituality - like, what is God? Am I God? Is God an energy?
      Thankfully, I noticed what was happening, stop taking them, and those thought patterns went away. Now I just eat them a couple of times a year. They can be confusing, but for me, the compassion, empathy, and spiritual growth I’ve gained make it worth it. So you can just pick them right from the ground there?!? Boy that would be tempting 😂. Appreciate the input my man!

  • @ebecks08
    @ebecks08 18 днів тому +1

    Just want to point out that what works for some, doesnt work for others!

  • @martinwarne4034
    @martinwarne4034 Місяць тому +6

    My final straw was when I told my sponsor I didn’t want to work with him anymore and he blocked me. He has 24 years. I do not want what he has. But I will never forget hearing some old timer calling a black person the N word. I will never forget it.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      oh man thats terrible, AA is not a racist program in my experience but of COURSE there will be racist people. Dude I hope someone shut that mfer, that sh*t has no place in AA. Thats hurtful your sponsor blocked you Im sorry that happened, hopefully you can find some humor in it now. Life good for you now?

    • @cascadiaarchitecturalphoto6224
      @cascadiaarchitecturalphoto6224 Місяць тому +1

      It's the only outlet where many of these sanctimonious hypocritical well trained lab rats have any semblance of authority. Most of them have never even come close to practicing the 12 steps as they're laid out in their literature. So grateful I'm no longer part of this ruse. My advice to anyone struggling with alcohol is to attend a few AA meetings, for no other reason than you can witness first hand what not to do.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому

      😂

    • @leemackay888
      @leemackay888 11 днів тому

      What happened ? He ask you to actually put pen to paper ? Lol tell the truth ..... Are ya sober today? Most run away out of fear.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  9 днів тому

      🕊️

  • @HeatherClark-f5b
    @HeatherClark-f5b 25 днів тому +1

    AA has a lot of cultic traditions
    I got so tired of people saying the same cliches over and over again
    When I was young and thin and attractive, the women at AA hated me and the men loved me
    The women thought I love myself and was stuck up
    The men thought I was mysterious, with a story to tell that would remain untold!
    Neither assumption was true
    I was just a boring introverted person with extremely low self-esteem
    There are an awful lot of very unwell people at AA.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  25 днів тому

      I hear you. Sorry you went through that, lots of male predators. AA hits every characteristic of a cult minus a single living charismatic figure but guess what, every fellowship has one. There are some very amazing people there but the unwell people greatly overshadow the good ones because the unwell ones are some of the sickest in the world because there’s no place else for them to be accepted. So they flock there

  • @MrMerrrrrrr
    @MrMerrrrrrr 2 місяці тому +2

    Thanks 🙏🏿 for sharing your experience ❤

  • @rebeccacrawford3520
    @rebeccacrawford3520 Місяць тому +2

    I'm 6 minutes in and I can tell that there is a misunderstanding with Step 1. AA saved my life and I know it's saved many others. I see it at meetings and I hear it in people's stories (I have been to SEVERAL celebrations of people who have been sober for WAY more than just 5 years so I'm not sure where your statistic came from but where I live AA is saving many many lives) I am powerless over alcohol - not powerless over weather I take the first drink - but IF I take the first drink it will trigger the physical allergy and I will continue to drink and then POSSIBLY, if I continue down the alcohol road I could eventually kill myself as this is a progressive dis-ease. I agree that genetics may not be a factor BUT family and societal conditioning does play a huge role in this dis-ease. I watched both my parents drink daily from the time I was born so I grew up thinking it was normal. Not sure why I'm writing this as it sounds like your experience sucked...I guess I want people to know that AA saves lives, if you CHOOSE to look at yourself and make the changes you need to make to ensure that alcohol doesn't kill you.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +2

      Beautiful, very well written and well intentioned words thank you for sharing and I’m really glad AA is helping you 🙌

  • @SneakyBadness
    @SneakyBadness 20 днів тому +1

    Im reading the comments and I just want to say a couple things. (Why should you listen to me? You probably shouldn’t. But I feel deeply about this.) the message of AA is no longer popular in AA. I sit in AA meetings all day and idk what the fuck anyone is talking about 90 percent of the time. Thank god for my sponsor. You’re praising the 4th and 5th and 9th step. 1 gives you what you need to get through 2. 2to get through 3 (and so on). There’s a LOT of confused moderate and hard drinkers spreading a lot of their personalities and ego. Not the principles and the message. I respect that you have many more years me experience with this stuff so I am trying to be open listening to this. I’m fighting my prejudices and I can do that because hey, the lay aside prayer from Aa is a hell of a thing.
    One last thing, my sponsor actually is in the program primarily for weed. He tried meth and could take or leave it. I tripped on that but idk something to think about.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  20 днів тому

      Your ability to be self aware of your prejudices and monitor your own ego is off the charts. That practice is the MOST important thing to staying sober (whatever that means to you) long term. That’s why your comment feels loving and well intentioned not hateful and negative because it’s coming from your spirit with out being polluted by the ego. Amazing man thanks for these words thanks for taking the care to write them that way. Truly. That’s interesting to hear about the AA message being lost. I started seeing that before I left 5 years ago. I hear you on all this, honestly this channel started as a video diary to have fun with I had no idea it was going to get that many views. That was cool to read this from you thank you for sharing

  • @VanillaCupcake36
    @VanillaCupcake36 Місяць тому +2

    I hear what you’re saying. But for the greater good, Alcoholics Anonymous might be preventing some fatal drunken accidents! Maybe a few? Maybe. But yeah, I hear ya on that, I left AA a while back because I loathed it and had a hard time sustaining friendships in it, and so I just decided to give it a try in my own. Those meetings sometimes can be a shit show 😂😂

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      Agree with you, anything that prevents death in any form can’t be completely written off

  • @dferguson495
    @dferguson495 7 днів тому

    Alcohol is from grain that "grows in the ground" as well

  • @petersmith6701
    @petersmith6701 2 місяці тому

    Good luck bud, god bless.

  • @Me-jf6hk
    @Me-jf6hk 18 днів тому +1

    No offense but in the first minute you mentioned so much stuff that wasn't AA but you attributed it to it. Then you went on to say addiction has nothing to do with genes,it absolutely does and has been proven. You're also not sober and come across full of resentment. The success rate for AA is between 50-70% for the people that do it,most dont do it so should be dismissed same with anyone court ordered not to mention the non alcoholic drug addicts that attend like yourself, they're in the wrong place to begin with. 90 meetings in 90.days isn't AA and Ive never met a single alcoholic that chooses or wants to be that way. Good luck on your journey

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  18 днів тому

      Appreciate your opinion my man thanks for sharing 🤙

  • @tmoh99
    @tmoh99 2 місяці тому +1

    I’ve never ran into that mean spiritedness and sorry you did. Also the opposition to psyche meds is not anything I experienced. I think your emphasis on the worth of certain Steps is accurate.
    One great AA speaker Mark H mentions Tolle and a specific path I think you’d appreciate.
    Side note- Bill W was an advocate for LSD as a therapeutic

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      That’s awesome thanks for the suggestion! 🙌 🙏

  • @harryjones-haroldine
    @harryjones-haroldine 2 місяці тому +8

    Meetings & no Step work is just coffee & bullsh*t 😀 God speed 🙏

  • @ArabelleRaz369
    @ArabelleRaz369 2 місяці тому +2

    Thank you❤

  • @DaneO0ooo
    @DaneO0ooo 11 днів тому +1

    So in a nutshell you made a video about how working on yourself possibly added decades to your life to let us know you are now leaving. Why didn't you just name the video " I left AA to do my own thing, smoke pot and eat shrooms"?

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  11 днів тому +1

      That’s actually super catchy, funny, and accurate to the video. Well done 🙌

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  11 днів тому +1

      Dude, sick channel!! Just sub’d. Thanks for stopping by 🤙

    • @DaneO0ooo
      @DaneO0ooo 11 днів тому

      @@VibeWithTrevor be careful.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  11 днів тому

      Be careful of what? I’m confused

    • @Artsyca
      @Artsyca 11 днів тому +1

      Be careful on the slippery slope bro. I thought AA was born of a psychedelic experience.

  • @sergioespinoza8101
    @sergioespinoza8101 26 днів тому +1

    This is how EVERYONE in Spanish AA feels like. That’s why I quit and just stick to UA-cam talks and reading blue book or scripture.

  • @dorismahoney1440
    @dorismahoney1440 2 місяці тому +1

    Staying is to help the newcomer n encourage the old timer.

  • @MaryAckerson-i3w
    @MaryAckerson-i3w Місяць тому +1

    Thank❤you

  • @kerrygooch8390
    @kerrygooch8390 2 місяці тому +1

    Love this!!!! My thoughts, hi I'm Kerry I'm an alcoholic???? No hi I'm kerry and wvery day I grateful for..... our word is our wand!!

  • @DianeDoody
    @DianeDoody 2 місяці тому +2

    How can you be sober when your still going to a dealer....

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      I recorded this months ago so I can’t remember what part you’re referring to my bad

  • @Me-jf6hk
    @Me-jf6hk 18 днів тому

    Self

  • @dee5331
    @dee5331 10 днів тому

    Alcoholism and Addiction are NOT THE SAME.. IF THEY WERE COCAINE AND HEROINE WOULD BE LEGAL..

  • @pannitalmadge7464
    @pannitalmadge7464 Місяць тому +1

    I agree

  • @masonc2649
    @masonc2649 2 місяці тому +3

    I'm a real alcoholic and it works if you work it. If you don't nothing happens. No one should have told you that "everything will work out for you" because they can't know that.

  • @claudeross126
    @claudeross126 Місяць тому +1

    32 yrs sober and I agree with the trash that's involved with people in AA , the program itself is a great guide to live with principles as life goes on. I am on anti depression medication which helps but doesn't cure . I don't have any desire to use pot or other mood change drugs.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      Right on man you def have a solid program for yourself! Appreciate you sharing all that.

  • @jdmercard
    @jdmercard 2 місяці тому +1

    The message you received in your meetings is not associated with AA. If it's not in the Big Book, it's not AA. If you actually read the book, it's all about hope.
    Additionally, the only reason the success rates have fallen is because people think it's a place to come dump their problems and share their opinions. If you actually do what the book says, it's 100% that you'll recover.
    Overall, I'm sad that was your experience but it sound like bad meetings and others opinions drove you out, not AA.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +1

      I appreciate your perspective thanks for sharing 🙌

    • @jtranmer64
      @jtranmer64 Місяць тому +1

      Excuse me, no. It was in fact AA that drove them out. If I asked 10 random people on the street "what do you picture in your head when I say the words 'AA'" you're most likely going to find 8 or 9 out of 10 people would say, "Oh yea, those meetings in church basements with folding chairs and bad coffee?". Lol, it's part of the damn fabric of our culture that AA is about the meetings. If somebody gets court ordered to go to AA, they aren't sentenced to be able to go in a room by themselves and study the almighty big book by themselves and ..ponder its magnificence and complete genius and completely non sexist and overly obvious Christian religious understandings of God..... ..... Just sayin. Anyway, yea, that doesn't happen. They go to the meetings. Which almost all are chocked full of arrogant, wife beating, narcissistic douchebags. Combine this with the convenient, lazy, pandering nature of AA, complete with fake emotions and concern for others, and you have smart people like myself eventually getting the hint and running for the hills. I am selfish enough, thank you. Why would I go to an environment where that side of me would be encouraged in any way? Just the attention seeking aspect I observed and became part of, it makes me wanna throw up. So I stand up and announce to a room of strangers that I've reached 6 months of sobriety. And? Why does the amount of time matter? Old Bob over there who's been going to the meeting for 40 years, he could secretly be a serial killer and cutting people up and shit for all I know. But because he's got 40 years, oh yea, he knows a thing or 2, he can show ya. Time Sober = BETTER NO MATTER WHAT and psychologically speaking, focusing on time sober, with chips and what not, don't even fucking get me started. This is kids stuff. This is Recovery for Dummies. This is adult children whos lives went a bit off the rails crave attention and validate themselves and make themselves feel like they care and give a shit about anyone else. They still don't, and their "support" for you immediately shuts off if you question the program, etc. is equally terrible, but I digress. Yea, don't go. Don't get caught up. It's such bullshit and our society deserves better than for intelligent people to be subject to this crap. Especially with propaganda saying it's still the best game in town for treating the "disease" of addiction. Yes, a disease so terrible that you can be told you have it without having a Medical Doctors diagnosis. Oh, but it's more of a Spiritual Malady! Ok fine, but you can't have it both ways then. Don't fill our medical field and counselors, psychiatrists, etc. with quacks who will tell you the best thing to do is go to a meeting. I have no problem saying this, AA can go fuck itself. This nonsense is what created this current climate where we have morons at all levels doing AA lip service just to get more people coming through the doors. It's sickening. If it is indeed a real medical disease, then treat it like a real god damn disease. But pick one. The problem can't be medical, just to have the solution be the nonsense, half assed, pandering lazy bit of crap that is AAs ideas.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  Місяць тому +1

      😬

  • @clydegrinstead430
    @clydegrinstead430 День тому

    So Wright your own big book, you poor think. The addiction never left you. And you would need to do the steps before you can help someone else.

  • @nechopesina2973
    @nechopesina2973 Місяць тому +1

    🐘❤️❤️❤️❤️🐘

  • @judenowinski4344
    @judenowinski4344 Місяць тому +1

    Also. They are liars period.

  • @dorismahoney1440
    @dorismahoney1440 2 місяці тому +1

    Around 7 min. I would rather be dependent on AA than the dealers. Ya, I never want to forget being desperate n afraid of dying, homeless, addicted.
    It's a way to be social w folks who don't want to drink n drug.

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  2 місяці тому +2

      yep, AA meetings beat drinking and drugging thats for sure! And you can find amazing community in AA, thanks for sharing

  • @ronmock1978
    @ronmock1978 28 днів тому

    Your killing people with your voice

    • @VibeWithTrevor
      @VibeWithTrevor  28 днів тому +1

      Appreciate your perspective thanks for sharing

  • @susanhuckaby2999
    @susanhuckaby2999 2 місяці тому +1

    I desperately needed to hear that. I have been haunted by shame the outdated AA has made it worse for me. That is just my experience. This helped me in many other way as well but I do thank you it was an a torn place.