Is this a joke? What if an individual isn't sure of themselves yet? Is it no longer okay to be confused by your own sexuality? You have previously posted videos on how complex gender and sexual identity are. I really want this to be a response to another youtuber's questionable videos and not a general statement. I'm not a fan of the angry, non-inclusive tone.
I think you misunderstood the piece. It explicitly says Im addressing people who can "unquestionably say they are NOT gay." Thus, if you were questioning this poem is not about you. It's about appropriation which is 100% different than people who are genuinely curious and exploring. And Im not a fan of you're tone-policing tone.
I have struggled for with my sexuality while being raised in a staunchly pro-conservative house. Out of fear for repulsion for what I feel, for sake of ideals in which I no longer hold any zeal. Spending years of my life trying to hide what is real. Five years of my life trying to conform to their ideals. Finally being able to be out on my own, yet still only half an hour from home. In college I can better represent the feeling of which I no longer wish to
Great poem, great point. Fed up of seeing people using 'coming out' to get clicks when that's not what they are doing. Coming out is not something to use to get views, it's a big deal for those who have to actually do it for real. I thought about doing a parody and then I didn't because I realised I didn't want to criticise the problem by adding to it.
After two years of remaining in the closet and trying to run from my gender, I finally not only accepted myself, but also worked up the courage to come out to most of my family last Tuesday. I was exatatic. I returned to school with a new wardrobe to fit my androgeneous nonbinary soul and an ace ring to proudly show on my middle finger. No longer was I scared, let others see me for what I was. I didn't care. But... that's easier said than done. I spent my day in confidence, until somebody, who I thought was a good aquaintence, asked me, "Did you know, they added a Q+ to LGBT? Why not just LGBT+?" I tried to explain that it's different to each individual, to which he responded, "My problem isn't with them," (oh goody), "it's with the complexity. Why not just YDY: you do you? Who cares?" "Well," I said trying to make conversation, "some people add an A you know" I add an A. This lead to questions. Which lead to weird looks. Which lead to, "Asexuals? Don't you think that's rediculous? Why take a word that's already in use? Why not unsexuals? Are they amoebas?" I stayed quiet, nervously twisting my ring, as he continued to laugh and talk about it. Shame it. Then he turned to me and said, "I feel like you're judging me." I left the classroom with a knot in my stomach. When it came time to change for cross country, I slipped out of my boxer briefs to put on the more acceptable pair of panties I'd packed just in case. When I got home, I slipped my ring from my finger, no longer proud. The emotion in your poem, although for different reasons, stirred up emotion in me that I tried to ignore. I wish I could go back and do things differently. I wish I'd had the nerve to tell him the truth about me: "You ask why not YDY? Perhaps such an acronym would work for somebody who is accepted by the society around them, but the rest of us have to cling desparately to the labels that give us a place to belong when people like you were too busy to do so yourselves. Have we gone to far? Maybe. Probably, if going too far means goings as far as it takes for me to be comfortable with the life I've been given. Even if that means I've long since stepped over the edge and am now plummeting towards the ground even though I'm afraid of heights, but I'm surrounded by people just like me. So it's okay. They have also gone too far, and together we learn that we don't need to fall. It's people like you who tell us otherwise. Without your "universal philosophy", telling us the labels we claim as our own are weighing us down, we could learn to fly. Because those labels are our life line, our comfort, our wings. You say I'm quiet because I'm judging you, but I'm quiet because you're judging me." I know this is already long and drawn out, but I just wanted to say thank you, Ash. Your videos not only helped me identify my gender, but they also made me over all the more comfortable with being me. I wouldn't have accepted myself or come out had it not been for you, and I am forever greatful. Even though I don't quite know how, your video today allowed me to cast aside the insecurities placed by someone else. Thank you.
Makayla Nance this is really good and I know you probably didn't mean for this to be poetry, but can I use this at my schools poetry slam? I'm also Ace/genderqueer and I'd love for other people to hear this. I'll definitely credit you.
Elizabeth Hogan, yes I'd love for others to hear that, and it means a lot that you would want to share it with others. I would love to here how the poetry slam turns, if you have time to send a reply afterwards.
Elizabeth Hogan also, there was another part to my "response" but I ended up leaving it out because I thought it might offend somebody. I don't know if you'd want to use it as well, though.
YO THIS. THIS!!!!!! My mom even asked me, "can I come out as a parent of a gay kid?" and I was like mom I know you have good intentions but THIS. IS. NOT. ABOUT. YOU. Coming out takes SO much courage and energy and DOES NOT BELONG TO STRAIGHT CIS PEOPLE. Also the whole aesthetic of this video is A+++
I don't doubt that calling oneself an ally takes guts, trust me I've done it before. But NCOD is not the time to do it. That's like me announcing to the world that I'm an ally of Black people on #Blackout days. Blackout was created to empower and spread visibility of Black people, not their white allies, who don't need that visibility. These days are created specifically for people in those marginalized groups. Coming out as an ally on that day (not really as an ally to the LGBTQ+ community as a whole either) is basically saying "this is hard for me too." which yeah, obviously allyship is hard, but it will never compare to being a part of the actual group being marginalized. It's not like she regularly talks about being an ally either, she chose this day specifically to announce to the world that she's a decent human instead of literally any other day of the year.
It's awesome that you didn't have to worry about that! I know people who are in very different situations. I have friends who were raised in an environment where their parents openly talked about how homosexuality is a mental illness and a perversion. When you're raised in that kind of environment, you're going to have anxiety. Even for me, I have a supportive family, but I have a high level of anxiety in general. Any time I have conversations about myself with people, I fear they will judge me. That's just who I am. So it's not always easy.
Just because you had a chill experience doesn't mean it's always so for everyone. I came out as bi to my family and they were like 'yeah, we know... moving on", however, some LGBT youth get kicked out, beaten up and disowned. They come out because they are tired of hiding and tired of living in fear of what will happen when they do, or if someone finds out before they are ready...
+Mark Donald I can't speak for other people, but I can use myself as an example. I want to come out because people assuming I'm straight grates a lot. Because of small stuff - like just assuming I'll end up with a guy - and for bigger stuff, like straight friends talking about the lgbtq+ community as 'those people,' or deliberately excluding myself from spaces with my queer friends because I'm not supposed to be there. Also just the stress of appearing straight when you're not, particularly if you're not a fan of straight up (puns, sorry) lying. As for the anxiety around coming out - again for me personally - I grew up in a very homophobic household, so even though I know that it's not a big deal, it's been ingrained in me that it's /wrong/ and /bad/ and that telling anyone is a bad idea. And also, like, just the fear of judgement, from people and the world at large. Trying to reconcile these two thought processes - wanting to be open, and never telling - can cause a lot of anxiety. I hope that made some sort of sense? Also I'm glad that your coming out went so chill - good things :)
Mark Donald being LGBTQ+ is a huge part of some people’s lives, and for others it isn’t. for me, it was incredibly difficult to come out to my friends since many of them were super religious and had said things before that were outwardly homophobic. even now, I’m still not out to my family because it’s terrifying to come out. that’s good that it wasn’t bad for you but that’s not necessarily the same for everyone else.
Your poetry fascinates me in a way I can't understand, but I love it and it always leaves me wanting more. The regularly irregular patterns of rhyme and alliteration are some of my favorite aspects, but I especially find that all your ideas, all the emotion and opinion that you share in it, I wholeheartedly agree with. Guys I think she's a poetry magician.
my stepdad(he's a straight, white cis man) always jokes about "identifying with a lamppost" its that you don't get the stress about whether or not you will be accepted because you are in a majority. instead, there are people like us, who might not even in our own community because we are that little bit different
I feel like people like that are making fun of the various "kin's" of the world. Like trash-kin. and cinnamon-bun-kin. Those people who identify as things they simply cannot be, because they're inanimate objects.
I am 11 year olds. I am not 6. I am not 9. I am not 4. I am 11. And most people would say, you don't know yourself yet. I know enough about myself and what I feel, that I have confidentially come out to myself as bisexual. Now I know the whole comment section is literally going to rip me apart, go head idc at all tbh. I have liked my bestfriend for the past 3 months, and she's a girl a FEMALE, and so am I. And there is nothing wrong with that situation at a young age. I love this poem. People who are straight pretend to come out all the time. My school is K-8, so I know people in 7th and 8th grade who have come out. I am in 5th grade. A lot of people have told me I tell people I'm bisexual for "attention." I have only told one person. And that person is one of my bestfriends. (Not the girl I like.) People in my grade, pretty much always think being gay, being bisexual, being a lesbian, being pansexual (they don't even know what that is lol), being attracted to your own gender, is wrong
And I obviously disagree, but my bestfriend sticks up for me, because she's the only one that knows. I have come out to myself. I have done that and I'm proud of that. That opinion I know for a fact was built inside of me. However, I'm a normal fifth grader, Going to school everyday, Doing homework every night, Practicing for a play everyday after school, And keeping these things to myself, for the time being, Until I'm confident ENOUGH; to share it with other people instead of just one person.
That was beautiful, Ash. I'm glad you did share that with the world. I get particularly angry about queerbaiting and girls/guys saying "well maybe I'm bi!" because my first relationships with women were with people who basically took me for a joy ride to get the attention they wanted then turned around and "realised they were straight". Speaking purely from the perspective of a bisexual woman; I struggle so much to feel accepted in queer spaces for straight people to then turn around and wear my identity like a costume for a weekend. My sexuality is not a tourist attraction, it's not an episode of Star in Their Eyes "Tonight Brenda, I'm going to be Bisexual!" It is an ever losing battle to be fetishized by one community, demonized by another, and accepted by neither. When straight people 'play gay' or decide "I'm bi today!" they invalidate my place in the queer community and prove I'm just a sideshow character in theirs.
LilaRose89 you explain being bi in such an incredible way What a perspective I'm sorry for the majority of the minority (lesbians & gays) treating you badly You are one of us and you should be welcomed as one but not everyone gets that
honestly I'm I'm questioning but isn't that part of exploring my sexuality. like I think I may be bi due to being attracted to females but I dont know. I don't get it... I guess. well I like the comment nonetheless
Mereko ayee Being questioning is a part of discovering who you are, it's not pretending or queerbating. It's really tricky not knowing where you belong. My comment is about people who KNOW they are straight and still chose to play with someone else's identities.
I feel you for I really do. I'm sorry you feel taken advantage of. It's not okay and it's hurtful. But people who are questioning and have not come out, (like myself) are afraid to come out for the fear of being labelled as "not gay enough", "just faking", or "it's just a phase". We aren't yet "confidently clearly queer" yet. People also have the right to realize maybe they weren't actually bi, but were only feeling attracted to the same gender (maybe it truly was a phase which is entirely possible #ragingteenagehormones) but couldn't see themselves in a long term relationship. I'm terrified because, what if I'm not actually bi and I come out and it feels like the right thing to do at the time? But in the long run I turn out to be truly straight? I love Ashley and I've followed her for a long time, but I don't agree with the way the video was made. It wasn't inclusive. I do agree with most points she makes
LilaRose89 it's hurtful I know, BUT it's maybe not intentional if they don't know what it means to you. Like I had a sexual relationship with my best friend and she would constantly say things like "I wish you were a boy than we'd be together" and even though I hadn't come to term with my own sexuality and I wouldn't admit I was in love with her, it hurt me. But she didn't know that. I could have been like her. Or I could have not been in love with her and just have taken advantage of her experimenting. I don't actually know if she is bi (and was just way further in the closet) or straight, but it doesn't matter anymore. It was painful but also fun. It opened some doors and it closed some. I just feel like it's better to ban anger from thing that happened in the past and focus on not letting those things happen again in the future.
Ah! I have been on a train with no internet for about the last 24 hours. This is the first thing I used my phone signal for. WORTH IT. This is Amazing Ash. I don't think you seemed too angry. It was a proper amount of anger in my honest opinion. Good job. Seriously.
This poem really is wonderful, and I'm glad you decided to post it. Sometimes sharing anger is good. That's something wonderful about spoken word, it can be an outlet for whatever you're feeling. I've seen too many cishets trying to silence the lgbt+ community whenever we feel something negative. Too many people call themselves allies when we're waving rainbow flags, but get uncomfortable when we talk about our frustrations. Coming out is ours, we are allowed to be angry. Straight people "coming out" really does minimize the true struggle of coming out that lgbt+ people face.
God, I love you so much. This was beautiful. I got goosebumps when you said, “No one shudders at pictures of you and your partners wedding plans.” That was so beautiful
vofenn Jeez, that sucks man. You're better off somewhere with people who will accept you. I hope everything works out for you, and I hope you're doing okay.
vofenn holy shit! That's... wow, I can't relate. I'm normally pretty empathetic, but I just can't imagine what that's like. I know this probably sounds dumb, but, like, are you okay at this current time? As in, are you still homeless/moving from place to place? Or are you like 40 something and this is just a stupid question out of nowhere?
vofenn I'm actually younger than 15 and I think my parents will kick me out by the time I'm 16… they've found out I was transgender and pansexual twice. Both times didn't end up well… I'm rlly worried. Did everything work out for you?
I live in a small town, and my school is INSANELY homophobic. I myself am gay, and genderqueer. And on the bus I constantly hear the horrible shit the students around me have to say, (they actively harass students). And I fear that they might find out. I know it sounds dumb, but I can't help it. Anyways, the point of me saying this is that I very much appreciate this video :')
I know this is really cliché and you've probably heard this a thousand times but please know it really does get better. As you get older people generally become more open minded and it's easier to cut people out of your life who are negative and hateful. One day you will be surrounded by people who bring you up, not push you down, but in the meantime stay strong
Omg this is so true. I'm living in a Southeast Asian country where people are still misled by ignorance and fear of LGBTQIA. When I came out to my reverend parent, I was shaking, incredibly afraid that she will kick me out of the house (thankfully she didn't). I was living in constant fear back then, so it angers me when straight people are doing this. It's not something to joke about. Thanks for making this, Ash. Love it.
Hello. Which country from SEA are you? You're so brave for coming out! I still haven't gotten to come out yet, I also live in the SEA. I still have some judgemental immediate relatives that's why I am still hesitant about it.
GeeCee Hi! I'm from Indonesia. Which country are you from? (You don't have to answer if you don't want to for safety reasons :)) Thank you. My parent was the type who avoids talking about it, so when there was a chance to bring it up, I thought I wouldn't get the chance anymore, so yeah. Idk why people here have just included LGBTQIA to DSM while the whole world is pulling it out of the DSM. Well I really hope one day you can come out in a safe environment over there. Do the people in your country use religion as an excuse (because that's what happens here)? Or is it only the social norms?
Adam Eve Sorry, just googled DSM and I am still not sure what DSM means. What does it mean? Both! I am scared of coming out because of both religion, and our social norm. Thanks! I do hope I could find that safe and right timing for me to come out to family.
Adam Eve Oh so that's what it is. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. There were lots of results on Google so I wasn't sure which one it was. Now I understand. Thank you, I won't lose hope.
Ash Hardell hi Ash I just wanted to say you are the most adorable person ever also your channel is so incredibly amazing and you're the one that has made me understand that there are more genderfluids than me ily
I quite liked it. I like your poems a lot. Since this is not a UA-cam only thing - it exists in pop culture and other human interactions - I felt like you could have taken the poem even further and give it a bit wider perspective. But that's just where my brain took me. You made very it precise and personal and that's cool too. You moved me. God. "If I could taste the convenience..."
The who time I watched this, I kept screaming things like "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!" and "EXACTLY!!!!!!!!" Then my parents came in to see what I was watching... I wasn't really ready to come out... But it worked out! Thanks for this Ash!❤️❤️❤️ Luv you!❤️❤️❤️😊
Amber Davison, I have found that some people think I'm making it up. I'm Asexual, and the amount of times I've had to explain to people what that even is! Is ridiculous. But! Sometimes you are just accepted as you are. My mum, well, she doesn't fully accept me as Ace but she's stopped trying to argue against it. There is no pressure to come out. Test the waters a bit first. Talk to people about sexualities in general, explain what they are and feel out their opinions. Then, if you feel ready, you come out, and only to who you choose. *many hugs*
This resonates with me a lot. I've been dealing with the whole "I'm coming out as straight" thing for years and it's really grating on every last nerve I have.
Wow, all your poems are so amazing and powerful, really making people think (which is what they should do). I hope you have a wonderful life, inspiring others and motivating them to speak up!
״my coming out was accompanied with panic attacks" and that it were I lost it and cried uncontrollably .btw ash this is beautiful and amazing and you should allow yourself to be angry. And don't apologize for it.
This turned out incredible! I'm so thankful that you thought of me to make music for this video. I had a lot of fun with that. This message of this video is so so so important and you did a phenomenal job of conveying it. :)
at this point, ash, it might be worth it just to put the following as a ~disclaimer~ at the start of the video: "THIS POEM IS NOT ABOUT CLOSETED OR QUESTIONING PEOPLE. THIS POEM IS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE DEFINITIVELY CIS AND STRAIGHT, BY THEIR OWN CLAIMS AND IDENTITY, WHO WILLINGLY TAKE OUR LANGUAGE AND IDENTITIES AND EXPLOIT THEM FOR CLICKS AND MONETARY GAIN. THIS IS NOT AIMED AT CLOSETED OR QUESTIONING PEOPLE." then maybe people will stop willfully or accidentally completely misinterpreting your entire point and poem. (obviously you don't actually have to, this is more of a frustrated/facetious [on your behalf, and on my own] suggestion than anything)
When I did come out as gay months and months ago (this was after I came out to my family) I was so scared of someone judging me and disowning me. All my childhood "friends" were making posts such as "I'm coming out as a Madagascar Lemur" and other ridiculous things like that. So I did what I thought would make me feel better. I knocked off all the people off my friends list who I knew would make my sexuality (and possible gender) a joke. I came out and everyone was accepting. I did get a bit of rudeness. but not hate.
I used to think that coming out no big deal, there's no real reason for me to shove my sexuality in other people's faces. I ended up coming out to my sister who then came out to me. My mom is pretty open and accepting for the better part so my sister isn't really all that scared of what my mom might think but it's terrified what Dad might think she's bi. I'm just slightly nervous of what others might think because I'm Ace; then while having a conversation with my mom she talked about how much she hated Aces and I'm terrified. I almost feel bad for saying it. I feel like other orientations get a lot more hatred than aces do. My half-sister is pan she's terrified of what both of her parents would think, what her brother would think. The three of us sit bearing the burden together wondering if will ever be accepted by those we care about and I almost feel like my fear is illegitimate. Nonetheless I still fear.
Your poems get MY HEART RACING and my inner LGBTQ+ pride swelling, which is huge because I can never seem to relate to the amazing personalities and backstories of other LGBTQ+ members, often feeling completely detached from the community as a whole. But works of art and forms of representation like THIS that resonate so deeply within me truly remind me of the fact that Im painted all sorts of colors inside, AND I FEEL IT, AM A PART OF IT, AND HAVE STRUGGLED with the prejudice of others so much that Im positive in my heart of hearts I belong to a community such as this. I could only hope to EVER be able to string words together in such a way that leaves others feeling EXHILARATED, just as you do. WOW you're incredible! Thank you so much for this!!
How dare you remind me that the world needs to be a better place, you SJW. That was bitter sarcasm. I'm mocking the people who follow that kind of logic. I know that seems obvious to some of you, but I've gotten shit from people who didn't realize that in the past. I know tone of voice doesn't translate well over the net, but I think my word choice should've made it fairly obvious.
SJW's don't use logic. People who can't control their emotions try to control peoples behavior. Any doctor that finds a cancer will have it removed immediately. This is no different. Degenerate pseudo-intellectuals should be publicly mocked and purged from society. Wake the fuck up.
I mean, there is something to be said for the idea that you don't have to come out, and don't have to continuously come out, if it will end up being harmful emotionally or physically. People tend to focus on coming out as the be-all, end-all of "living your truth" and "loving yourself" while glossing over the real effects it can have on people's lives to the point where it sometimes is better to stay closeted.
Hey Ashley, I tried posting this in the replies of your comment, but I want to see if this will post in full I have struggled for with my sexuality while being raised in a staunchly pro-conservative house. Out of fear for repulsion for what I feel, for sake of ideals in which I no longer hold any zeal. Spending years of my life trying to hide what is real. Five years of my life trying to conform to their ideals. Finally being able to be out on my own, yet still only half an hour from home. In college I can better represent the feeling of which I no longer wish to object and reject. I just want some respect. Knowing I'm not straight for years of my life, a year and a half ago sitting down to face head on the emotions I feel, being told they're reactions, that they are not real. Accepting that viewpoint because in real life, I didn't quite feel a desire for a husband or wife. Aromantic, a word that very well describes me. I was frantic trying to be who they wanted me to be. Saying I'm asexual to hide from the shame. At the time that held some validity. But I no longer want to search out for pity. Whether Ace or Gay I'm still LGBT+, so why not bury my feelings inside with out confronting, I must. Asexual is a word I used to identify with, to keep from sinking down with a ship. Even now, accepting that identity leaves me feeling lost, afraid of the eventual cost. I don't want to be without a home to go to during the breaks, just for things about me that they see as mistakes. Panic attacks writhing me with every word I type and years of fear every day and night. "Gay-ce" by myself. Any response would be appreciated. You are quite an amazing human and I am quite fond of your videos. DFTBA
I was inches away from hating this, because the title mislead me to the content, but I thought I'd watch it out of spite. Probably the best thing I've done out of spite so far. I am completely blown away by the content. Thank you for making this. It's something that needs to be said, and now it's in cool poetry form. Again, thank you.
I used to watch you at speech competitions in high school. I adore the things you do on your channel, it's so beautiful to see the work you've written since then. much love ❤
As a cis/ace male I understand & respect the anger. Being ace, I can quietly keep to myself & hide. Trans, Lesbian, Gay, Bi can't if they want to be with who they love!
There's a little misunderstanding in the comments, so let's get this straight (pun intended) about what, IMHO, this video meant: 1 - QUEER BAITING SUCKS. Ash calls out queer baiting on UA-cam by some a$$holes, but there's also TV shows. Tricking a community for cash sucks. It's using people's struggles for financial benefit, which is the opposite of what most lgbt+ youtubers do. No dirty tricks. 2 - COMING OUT AS LGBT+ IS NOT A JOKE. It's a huge part of someone's life, and let's be honest, It's rarely cool and casual. Most of the time, for the average person, It's an ordeal and It doesn't go well, at least with some friends and family, sometimes all of them. Turning this pinpoint in life into some youtube prank / joke is more than disrespectful. It's damaging. It confuses and shame into ridicule young queer ppl who then might stay in the closet. As for "coming out as straight"... come on, you know It's as wrong and as insulting as a white guy putting a "blackface" in front of real black people. That's brutal and not poetic, but at least I hope It was clear. Now, I may be wrong about Ash's intent. Ash, feel free to correct me if that's the case.
Your poems always touch me, I love it when you repeat parts of words in other words. The part where you said: "maybe losing everything" made shivers run through my spine. You also make a good point, I really hate it when it's just clickbait or even worse, people pranking their friends with saying that they're gay and providing a pile of homophobia after 'coming out'. Such as: "Haha no I'm not f*cking gay, I'm normal" and more of those remarks. I hope you'll be making more poems, Ash!
Wow... Ash, I have never been so proud to be a fan of yours. This video was incredible, putting all the thoughts I've harbored silently for years... Into words. Thank you so much.
I've only been a fan for a month, but I must say, I am blown away by this poem. The mockery of coming out scares me too much to actually come out to anyone but someone who I know will be okay with me. How little coming out is taken seriously makes me mad. Do you know how long I've wanted to tell my transphobic and (somewhat) homophobic Christian mother that I'm bi? Do you understand the pain I've been and the anxiety I've had while keeping this secret? No, you don't. So shut the fuck up about coming out.
you do many amazing things, but what enthralled me years ago to subscribe was your poetry. you weave words together and perform them in a way that no other person can imitate. thank you for sharing it :)
I said this on your vlog channel and I'll say it here too. I don't care if it's a joke, but when people just use it as clickbait, it pisses me off. So much.
And I forgot to write this just like I did on the vlog channel: if people do it to mock people (coughonisioncough) then they can just get off the fucking internet.
I've been trying for about 5 videos now to try and come up with a comment that encompasses all the feelings I have about you. Grace, your content, the effort you put into your beautiful videos and every time I try and write something it seems to come up short. So this is me just trying to say how appreciative I am of you and everything you do. Thank you.
This is beautiful! I couldn't help be play it over and over again, understanding each moment and loving you even more. Thank you for reclaiming October 11th, because that is our one day.
I've seen a couple people pretend irl once ut not on the internet, same as you lol I would love some examples if anyone knows of internet people doing this.
Simply Nailogical coined the term "holosexual," and has been using it to make merch and stuff, and all her fans call themselves holosexuals... A lot of times in her videos she says things like "this is how you know you're holosexual!"
This is beauty. This shows how we don't ask for the insults and hatred and judgment, we didn't choose to be like this. We've been like this since BIRTH, and people should just ACCEPT us. So, all I want to say, is Thank You, for being you.
I just wanted to say your poem is beautiful, you are a role model for me, you helped me discover myself! You are the best and please continue to do what you do! 🤗🤗🤗 PS: These glasses are beautiful on you😍
Your poetry always makes me feel like I need to yell and cry, but for all the good reasons instead of the bad ones. Also, those glasses look SO cute on you, you always look so good !! You're in inspiration, Ash!
Thank you for writing this n_n I waited until highschool to come out as (possibly) a gay male (I hadn't dated a guy yet so I although I was pretty sure I didn't want to jump to assumptions) because there was this 'fad' going around my middle school where they were all 'bi' and they'd just hold hands but never really date. I didn't feel comfortable coming out in fear that my sexuallity wouldn't be taken seriously, seeing it as 'me trying to be cool'. Pretending to be LGBTQ is not ok. Not for veiws, not to be trendy. Ever.
This, this right here is why I subscribed so long ago. The fire and passion you put in your poems, that unique flare that no one should dare mess with. Your ability to say how you feel, to be truly you. That, that is why I'm here. Proud to be the person I am, I might not be queer but I came appreciate those who are. And, the struggles they go through, and I never falter on my beliefs. And, I hope one day and one day soon, that nobody will be judged on how they love.
Ash this is so beautiful and brave . Sometimes anger needs to be expressed for ppl to truly get it . I love it. Be proud in every sense of the word .keep it up , you inspire me .
This is beautiful. I don't think it's angry- I think it's sensical. I am going to listen to this over and over again. Thank you so much. (Also, I love your glasses. And your haircut. I wish I could do it like that.)
Ashley...Thank you for putting this out there. As a straight person, I roll my eyes at things like this, but never really thought about how it would affect me if I were gay. You speak so eloquently and clearly that there's no question how you feel. I love your poems. They offer so much.
I love your poem video's, they're always so great and thought out. Also thank you for calling queerbaiting out. I've never really seen it happen on yt (mostly because I dont subscribe to people who would do that), but I've seen queerbaiting in tv shows/books (which happens in a different way than yt queerbaiting but still), and it is infuriating.Thank you for the poems ^_^
I loved the music you paired with the poem, and I thought the piece itself was very moving. You shined a different perspective on coming out I never considered, and it really gives me something to think about.
maybe a little bit off topic but on your thumbnail you looks so different. it's incredible how much your appearance changed over the course of one year and It really suits you and somehow you do seem a lot more confident and like your mind is at easier (not at complete ease since there are so many issues the LGBT+ community has to face and therefore you also have to face). but seeing how something small within you changed for the better, for the more being truly you is really nice :)
Im tired of straight people pretending they might be gay like it's nothing. I poem about it a little above :)
Ashley Mardell it's one of the best slam poems I've heard!
Is this a joke? What if an individual isn't sure of themselves yet? Is it no longer okay to be confused by your own sexuality?
You have previously posted videos on how complex gender and sexual identity are. I really want this to be a response to another youtuber's questionable videos and not a general statement. I'm not a fan of the angry, non-inclusive tone.
I think you misunderstood the piece. It explicitly says Im addressing people who can "unquestionably say they are NOT gay." Thus, if you were questioning this poem is not about you. It's about appropriation which is 100% different than people who are genuinely curious and exploring.
And Im not a fan of you're tone-policing tone.
I have struggled for with my sexuality while being raised in a staunchly pro-conservative house. Out of fear for repulsion for what I feel, for sake of ideals in which I no longer hold any zeal. Spending years of my life trying to hide what is real. Five years of my life trying to conform to their ideals. Finally being able to be out on my own, yet still only half an hour from home. In college I can better represent the feeling of which I no longer wish to
Ashley Mardell I seriously want to see you featured on Button Poetry one day. Please. That would be AMAZING. YOU ARE SO FREAKING GOOD.
a little louder for those in the back please.
ps loved this.
Zach & Evan what about the ones in the front? Our ears hurt
Zach & Evan Can I like this comment more than once? lol
Zach & Evan there is something called TURNING THE VOLUME UP 😎
Amen
Great poem, great point. Fed up of seeing people using 'coming out' to get clicks when that's not what they are doing. Coming out is not something to use to get views, it's a big deal for those who have to actually do it for real. I thought about doing a parody and then I didn't because I realised I didn't want to criticise the problem by adding to it.
Truth, 2 years late though.
I just can't wait till no one has to come out
Cindy Damron I know right!!
Same here !!
Never going to happen
Keep waiting
I am crying. This is sooo good Thank you ash.
Also you look so good w/ glasses
|-/
Annachiara , |-/
+
+
After two years of remaining in the closet and trying to run from my gender, I finally not only accepted myself, but also worked up the courage to come out to most of my family last Tuesday.
I was exatatic. I returned to school with a new wardrobe to fit my androgeneous nonbinary soul and an ace ring to proudly show on my middle finger.
No longer was I scared, let others see me for what I was. I didn't care.
But... that's easier said than done.
I spent my day in confidence, until somebody, who I thought was a good aquaintence, asked me, "Did you know, they added a Q+ to LGBT? Why not just LGBT+?"
I tried to explain that it's different to each individual, to which he responded, "My problem isn't with them," (oh goody), "it's with the complexity. Why not just YDY: you do you? Who cares?"
"Well," I said trying to make conversation, "some people add an A you know"
I add an A.
This lead to questions. Which lead to weird looks. Which lead to, "Asexuals? Don't you think that's rediculous? Why take a word that's already in use? Why not unsexuals? Are they amoebas?"
I stayed quiet, nervously twisting my ring, as he continued to laugh and talk about it. Shame it. Then he turned to me and said,
"I feel like you're judging me."
I left the classroom with a knot in my stomach.
When it came time to change for cross country, I slipped out of my boxer briefs to put on the more acceptable pair of panties I'd packed just in case.
When I got home, I slipped my ring from my finger, no longer proud.
The emotion in your poem, although for different reasons, stirred up emotion in me that I tried to ignore.
I wish I could go back and do things differently. I wish I'd had the nerve to tell him the truth about me:
"You ask why not YDY? Perhaps such an acronym would work for somebody who is accepted by the society around them, but the rest of us have to cling desparately to the labels that give us a place to belong when people like you were too busy to do so yourselves.
Have we gone to far? Maybe. Probably, if going too far means goings as far as it takes for me to be comfortable with the life I've been given. Even if that means I've long since stepped over the edge and am now plummeting towards the ground even though I'm afraid of heights, but I'm surrounded by people just like me. So it's okay.
They have also gone too far, and together we learn that we don't need to fall. It's people like you who tell us otherwise. Without your "universal philosophy", telling us the labels we claim as our own are weighing us down, we could learn to fly.
Because those labels are our life line, our comfort, our wings.
You say I'm quiet because I'm judging you, but I'm quiet because you're judging me."
I know this is already long and drawn out, but I just wanted to say thank you, Ash. Your videos not only helped me identify my gender, but they also made me over all the more comfortable with being me.
I wouldn't have accepted myself or come out had it not been for you, and I am forever greatful. Even though I don't quite know how, your video today allowed me to cast aside the insecurities placed by someone else. Thank you.
Makayla Nance this is really good and I know you probably didn't mean for this to be poetry, but can I use this at my schools poetry slam? I'm also Ace/genderqueer and I'd love for other people to hear this. I'll definitely credit you.
Elizabeth Hogan, yes I'd love for others to hear that, and it means a lot that you would want to share it with others. I would love to here how the poetry slam turns, if you have time to send a reply afterwards.
Elizabeth Hogan also, there was another part to my "response" but I ended up leaving it out because I thought it might offend somebody. I don't know if you'd want to use it as well, though.
Elizabeth Hogan sure, that sounds great ^_^
That was really powerful. Thank you for sharing.
YO THIS. THIS!!!!!! My mom even asked me, "can I come out as a parent of a gay kid?" and I was like mom I know you have good intentions but THIS. IS. NOT. ABOUT. YOU. Coming out takes SO much courage and energy and DOES NOT BELONG TO STRAIGHT CIS PEOPLE. Also the whole aesthetic of this video is A+++
I don't doubt that calling oneself an ally takes guts, trust me I've done it before. But NCOD is not the time to do it. That's like me announcing to the world that I'm an ally of Black people on #Blackout days. Blackout was created to empower and spread visibility of Black people, not their white allies, who don't need that visibility. These days are created specifically for people in those marginalized groups. Coming out as an ally on that day (not really as an ally to the LGBTQ+ community as a whole either) is basically saying "this is hard for me too." which yeah, obviously allyship is hard, but it will never compare to being a part of the actual group being marginalized. It's not like she regularly talks about being an ally either, she chose this day specifically to announce to the world that she's a decent human instead of literally any other day of the year.
It's awesome that you didn't have to worry about that! I know people who are in very different situations. I have friends who were raised in an environment where their parents openly talked about how homosexuality is a mental illness and a perversion. When you're raised in that kind of environment, you're going to have anxiety. Even for me, I have a supportive family, but I have a high level of anxiety in general. Any time I have conversations about myself with people, I fear they will judge me. That's just who I am. So it's not always easy.
Just because you had a chill experience doesn't mean it's always so for everyone. I came out as bi to my family and they were like 'yeah, we know... moving on", however, some LGBT youth get kicked out, beaten up and disowned. They come out because they are tired of hiding and tired of living in fear of what will happen when they do, or if someone finds out before they are ready...
+Mark Donald I can't speak for other people, but I can use myself as an example. I want to come out because people assuming I'm straight grates a lot. Because of small stuff - like just assuming I'll end up with a guy - and for bigger stuff, like straight friends talking about the lgbtq+ community as 'those people,' or deliberately excluding myself from spaces with my queer friends because I'm not supposed to be there. Also just the stress of appearing straight when you're not, particularly if you're not a fan of straight up (puns, sorry) lying. As for the anxiety around coming out - again for me personally - I grew up in a very homophobic household, so even though I know that it's not a big deal, it's been ingrained in me that it's /wrong/ and /bad/ and that telling anyone is a bad idea. And also, like, just the fear of judgement, from people and the world at large. Trying to reconcile these two thought processes - wanting to be open, and never telling - can cause a lot of anxiety. I hope that made some sort of sense? Also I'm glad that your coming out went so chill - good things :)
Mark Donald being LGBTQ+ is a huge part of some people’s lives, and for others it isn’t. for me, it was incredibly difficult to come out to my friends since many of them were super religious and had said things before that were outwardly homophobic. even now, I’m still not out to my family because it’s terrifying to come out. that’s good that it wasn’t bad for you but that’s not necessarily the same for everyone else.
Your poetry fascinates me in a way I can't understand, but I love it and it always leaves me wanting more. The regularly irregular patterns of rhyme and alliteration are some of my favorite aspects, but I especially find that all your ideas, all the emotion and opinion that you share in it, I wholeheartedly agree with.
Guys I think she's a poetry magician.
*they :)
*they 😊
Actually, Ash specifically said that there was no pronoun preference, in the video All About Pronouns
my stepdad(he's a straight, white cis man) always jokes about "identifying with a lamppost" its that you don't get the stress about whether or not you will be accepted because you are in a majority. instead, there are people like us, who might not even in our own community because we are that little bit different
Don't oppress those who identify as lamp posts. It's racist and ableist
That's really shitty, my step dad is the same way. I think you just learn to ignore it (though not something that I'm great at).
I feel like people like that are making fun of the various "kin's" of the world. Like trash-kin. and cinnamon-bun-kin. Those people who identify as things they simply cannot be, because they're inanimate objects.
Cry me a river
Sydney Owens
Are you here just to be an instigator?
I am 11 year olds.
I am not 6.
I am not 9.
I am not 4.
I am 11.
And most people would say, you don't know yourself yet. I know enough about myself and what I feel, that I have confidentially come out to myself as bisexual.
Now I know the whole comment section is literally going to rip me apart, go head idc at all tbh. I have liked my bestfriend for the past 3 months, and she's a girl a FEMALE, and so am I. And there is nothing wrong with that situation at a young age.
I love this poem.
People who are straight pretend to come out all the time.
My school is K-8, so I know people in 7th and 8th grade who have come out.
I am in 5th grade.
A lot of people have told me I tell people I'm bisexual for "attention."
I have only told one person.
And that person is one of my bestfriends.
(Not the girl I like.)
People in my grade, pretty much always think being gay, being bisexual, being a lesbian, being pansexual (they don't even know what that is lol), being attracted to your own gender, is wrong
And I obviously disagree, but my bestfriend sticks up for me, because she's the only one that knows.
I have come out to myself.
I have done that and I'm proud of that.
That opinion I know for a fact was built inside of me.
However,
I'm a normal fifth grader,
Going to school everyday,
Doing homework every night,
Practicing for a play everyday after school,
And keeping these things to myself, for the time being,
Until I'm confident ENOUGH; to share it with other people instead of just one person.
ALSO I HAVE CHILLS BECSUSE OF THIS OM G
props to you girl! I didn't figure myself out until last year
Emmeroo it just depends on what you know when you know it. has nothing to do with age
Emma Wingo I'm 11 and heavily identify as ace. I'm panromantic
That was beautiful, Ash.
I'm glad you did share that with the world.
I get particularly angry about queerbaiting and girls/guys saying "well maybe I'm bi!" because my first relationships with women were with people who basically took me for a joy ride to get the attention they wanted then turned around and "realised they were straight".
Speaking purely from the perspective of a bisexual woman; I struggle so much to feel accepted in queer spaces for straight people to then turn around and wear my identity like a costume for a weekend. My sexuality is not a tourist attraction, it's not an episode of Star in Their Eyes "Tonight Brenda, I'm going to be Bisexual!"
It is an ever losing battle to be fetishized by one community, demonized by another, and accepted by neither.
When straight people 'play gay' or decide "I'm bi today!" they invalidate my place in the queer community and prove I'm just a sideshow character in theirs.
LilaRose89
you explain being bi in such an incredible way
What a perspective
I'm sorry for the majority of the minority (lesbians & gays) treating you badly
You are one of us and you should be welcomed as one but not everyone gets that
honestly I'm I'm questioning but isn't that part of exploring my sexuality. like I think I may be bi due to being attracted to females but I dont know. I don't get it... I guess. well I like the comment nonetheless
Mereko ayee Being questioning is a part of discovering who you are, it's not pretending or queerbating. It's really tricky not knowing where you belong.
My comment is about people who KNOW they are straight and still chose to play with someone else's identities.
I feel you for I really do. I'm sorry you feel taken advantage of. It's not okay and it's hurtful. But people who are questioning and have not come out, (like myself) are afraid to come out for the fear of being labelled as "not gay enough", "just faking", or "it's just a phase". We aren't yet "confidently clearly queer" yet. People also have the right to realize maybe they weren't actually bi, but were only feeling attracted to the same gender (maybe it truly was a phase which is entirely possible #ragingteenagehormones) but couldn't see themselves in a long term relationship. I'm terrified because, what if I'm not actually bi and I come out and it feels like the right thing to do at the time? But in the long run I turn out to be truly straight? I love Ashley and I've followed her for a long time, but I don't agree with the way the video was made. It wasn't inclusive. I do agree with most points she makes
LilaRose89 it's hurtful I know, BUT it's maybe not intentional if they don't know what it means to you. Like I had a sexual relationship with my best friend and she would constantly say things like "I wish you were a boy than we'd be together" and even though I hadn't come to term with my own sexuality and I wouldn't admit I was in love with her, it hurt me. But she didn't know that. I could have been like her. Or I could have not been in love with her and just have taken advantage of her experimenting. I don't actually know if she is bi (and was just way further in the closet) or straight, but it doesn't matter anymore. It was painful but also fun. It opened some doors and it closed some. I just feel like it's better to ban anger from thing that happened in the past and focus on not letting those things happen again in the future.
THIS WAS SO GOOD! I enjoyed this and related to the emotions so much. Thank you for making this.
Nailed it.
Thanks for calling these things out.
Ah! I have been on a train with no internet for about the last 24 hours. This is the first thing I used my phone signal for. WORTH IT. This is Amazing Ash. I don't think you seemed too angry. It was a proper amount of anger in my honest opinion. Good job. Seriously.
ALSO, if you like the music, it was a custom score by the AMAZINGLY TALENTED: t.co/SAbmejT073
Ashley Mardell AWWWWW thank you so much!!!! You are amazing!!! ☺️
Ashley Mardell ERIN IS AMAZING
Ashley Mardell I did really like the music!
I LOVE ERIN!
Also, this was truly amazing!!
So you don't want straight people to come out? Isn't that just kind of adding to hetero normatives?
I'm straight, and I agree with you. People should stop putting "coming out" in their title if they aren't actually coming out
This poem really is wonderful, and I'm glad you decided to post it. Sometimes sharing anger is good. That's something wonderful about spoken word, it can be an outlet for whatever you're feeling.
I've seen too many cishets trying to silence the lgbt+ community whenever we feel something negative. Too many people call themselves allies when we're waving rainbow flags, but get uncomfortable when we talk about our frustrations. Coming out is ours, we are allowed to be angry. Straight people "coming out" really does minimize the true struggle of coming out that lgbt+ people face.
+
God, I love you so much. This was beautiful. I got goosebumps when you said, “No one shudders at pictures of you and your partners wedding plans.” That was so beautiful
My coming out ended up a huge fight and me homeless at 15 haha.
vofenn Jeez, that sucks man.
You're better off somewhere with people who will accept you.
I hope everything works out for you, and I hope you're doing okay.
vofenn holy shit! That's... wow, I can't relate. I'm normally pretty empathetic, but I just can't imagine what that's like. I know this probably sounds dumb, but, like, are you okay at this current time? As in, are you still homeless/moving from place to place? Or are you like 40 something and this is just a stupid question out of nowhere?
vofenn I'm actually younger than 15 and I think my parents will kick me out by the time I'm 16… they've found out I was transgender and pansexual twice. Both times didn't end up well… I'm rlly worried. Did everything work out for you?
That really sucks mate. I hope you know that you are awesome and that the community has your back.
Call Trevor project, seek for some lgbt+ association near you, or any ngo that could help just in case. Don't wait.
I live in a small town, and my school is INSANELY homophobic. I myself am gay, and genderqueer. And on the bus I constantly hear the horrible shit the students around me have to say, (they actively harass students). And I fear that they might find out. I know it sounds dumb, but I can't help it.
Anyways, the point of me saying this is that I very much appreciate this video :')
Long Gone I don't think it sounds dumb. I totally understand. People are horrible, so your feelings are entirely justified.
Meghan Hennessy ah, thanks^_^ And yeah, people do suck.
I know this is really cliché and you've probably heard this a thousand times but please know it really does get better. As you get older people generally become more open minded and it's easier to cut people out of your life who are negative and hateful. One day you will be surrounded by people who bring you up, not push you down, but in the meantime stay strong
Katie xox aw, I actually teared up (that doesn't happen a lot xD) And, uh, thank you? I'm not sure how to reply to these sort of things:'3
***** You actually made me smile, thank you ^_^
And yes, I fully agree.
i know this is off topic but damn those glasses look great on you
Omg this is so true. I'm living in a Southeast Asian country where people are still misled by ignorance and fear of LGBTQIA. When I came out to my reverend parent, I was shaking, incredibly afraid that she will kick me out of the house (thankfully she didn't). I was living in constant fear back then, so it angers me when straight people are doing this. It's not something to joke about. Thanks for making this, Ash. Love it.
Hello. Which country from SEA are you? You're so brave for coming out! I still haven't gotten to come out yet, I also live in the SEA. I still have some judgemental immediate relatives that's why I am still hesitant about it.
GeeCee Hi! I'm from Indonesia. Which country are you from? (You don't have to answer if you don't want to for safety reasons :)) Thank you. My parent was the type who avoids talking about it, so when there was a chance to bring it up, I thought I wouldn't get the chance anymore, so yeah. Idk why people here have just included LGBTQIA to DSM while the whole world is pulling it out of the DSM. Well I really hope one day you can come out in a safe environment over there. Do the people in your country use religion as an excuse (because that's what happens here)? Or is it only the social norms?
Adam Eve
Sorry, just googled DSM and I am still not sure what DSM means. What does it mean?
Both! I am scared of coming out because of both religion, and our social norm.
Thanks! I do hope I could find that safe and right timing for me to come out to family.
Adam Eve
Oh so that's what it is. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. There were lots of results on Google so I wasn't sure which one it was. Now I understand.
Thank you, I won't lose hope.
Whoa. Always blown away. Your poetry is incredible.
Can I just... Holy hell, how well written that is oml. That is some slam poetry if I have ever heard it. Damn.
Would it be okay to recite this poem at a school function? With credit. I think it's really moving and could certainly change some people's minds
+
yup :)
Ash Hardell hi Ash I just wanted to say you are the most adorable person ever also your channel is so incredibly amazing and you're the one that has made me understand that there are more genderfluids than me ily
I quite liked it. I like your poems a lot.
Since this is not a UA-cam only thing - it exists in pop culture and other human interactions - I felt like you could have taken the poem even further and give it a bit wider perspective. But that's just where my brain took me. You made very it precise and personal and that's cool too. You moved me.
God.
"If I could taste the convenience..."
I'm absolutely jealous over your glasses. You pull them off so well! Also I envy your poem talents. 10/10 would poem again.
I LIKE YOUR PROFILE PIC :D
The who time I watched this, I kept screaming things like "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!" and "EXACTLY!!!!!!!!"
Then my parents came in to see what I was watching...
I wasn't really ready to come out... But it worked out!
Thanks for this Ash!❤️❤️❤️ Luv you!❤️❤️❤️😊
see, I'm scared to come out because I feel people will think I am making it up. anyways love ya ash ♥
Exactly how I feel
+lara_Weasley I'm pansexual agender and it's just so hard to explain to people sometimes!
I feel the same way. I can't say how many times I've been called a special snowflake.
Same! I’m genderfluid and polysexual, so no one would understand me either
Amber Davison, I have found that some people think I'm making it up. I'm Asexual, and the amount of times I've had to explain to people what that even is! Is ridiculous. But! Sometimes you are just accepted as you are. My mum, well, she doesn't fully accept me as Ace but she's stopped trying to argue against it. There is no pressure to come out. Test the waters a bit first. Talk to people about sexualities in general, explain what they are and feel out their opinions. Then, if you feel ready, you come out, and only to who you choose. *many hugs*
This is so beautiful and so so important. Thank you for this.
This resonates with me a lot. I've been dealing with the whole "I'm coming out as straight" thing for years and it's really grating on every last nerve I have.
Wow, all your poems are so amazing and powerful, really making people think (which is what they should do). I hope you have a wonderful life, inspiring others and motivating them to speak up!
I always love Ashley's poetry slam.
״my coming out was accompanied with panic attacks" and that it were I lost it and cried uncontrollably .btw ash this is beautiful and amazing and you should allow yourself to be angry. And don't apologize for it.
This turned out incredible! I'm so thankful that you thought of me to make music for this video. I had a lot of fun with that. This message of this video is so so so important and you did a phenomenal job of conveying it. :)
YOU NAILED IT!
Erin Flat Fingers Your music is amazing and it flows so beautifully with the words. Chapeau!
Ashley Mardell Thank you sososo much!! :)
This is absolutely fantastic Ashley! Love love love it!
This.
Really important.
i think the anger is totally justified. Great poem!
yassssssss call them out girl 👏👏👏👏
at this point, ash, it might be worth it just to put the following as a ~disclaimer~ at the start of the video:
"THIS POEM IS NOT ABOUT CLOSETED OR QUESTIONING PEOPLE. THIS POEM IS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE DEFINITIVELY CIS AND STRAIGHT, BY THEIR OWN CLAIMS AND IDENTITY, WHO WILLINGLY TAKE OUR LANGUAGE AND IDENTITIES AND EXPLOIT THEM FOR CLICKS AND MONETARY GAIN. THIS IS NOT AIMED AT CLOSETED OR QUESTIONING PEOPLE."
then maybe people will stop willfully or accidentally completely misinterpreting your entire point and poem.
(obviously you don't actually have to, this is more of a frustrated/facetious [on your behalf, and on my own] suggestion than anything)
When I did come out as gay months and months ago (this was after I came out to my family) I was so scared of someone judging me and disowning me. All my childhood "friends" were making posts such as "I'm coming out as a Madagascar Lemur" and other ridiculous things like that. So I did what I thought would make me feel better. I knocked off all the people off my friends list who I knew would make my sexuality (and possible gender) a joke. I came out and everyone was accepting. I did get a bit of rudeness. but not hate.
I used to think that coming out no big deal, there's no real reason for me to shove my sexuality in other people's faces. I ended up coming out to my sister who then came out to me. My mom is pretty open and accepting for the better part so my sister isn't really all that scared of what my mom might think but it's terrified what Dad might think she's bi. I'm just slightly nervous of what others might think because I'm Ace; then while having a conversation with my mom she talked about how much she hated Aces and I'm terrified. I almost feel bad for saying it. I feel like other orientations get a lot more hatred than aces do. My half-sister is pan she's terrified of what both of her parents would think, what her brother would think. The three of us sit bearing the burden together wondering if will ever be accepted by those we care about and I almost feel like my fear is illegitimate. Nonetheless I still fear.
Remember Emmily, you are never obliged to came out to anyone.
OMG Ash you look exceptionally cute today ;)
Also great video, you never fail to make great content.
THANKS I GOT NEW GLASSES B)
I wanted to come out 2 years ago. I'm still waiting for the right people.
thank you for this really strong peace it really puts my thoughts into words
Your poems get MY HEART RACING and my inner LGBTQ+ pride swelling, which is huge because I can never seem to relate to the amazing personalities and backstories of other LGBTQ+ members, often feeling completely detached from the community as a whole. But works of art and forms of representation like THIS that resonate so deeply within me truly remind me of the fact that Im painted all sorts of colors inside, AND I FEEL IT, AM A PART OF IT, AND HAVE STRUGGLED with the prejudice of others so much that Im positive in my heart of hearts I belong to a community such as this. I could only hope to EVER be able to string words together in such a way that leaves others feeling EXHILARATED, just as you do. WOW you're incredible! Thank you so much for this!!
Reading the comments on this video makes me think a lot of people missed the point of this video/poem.
ME TOO.
Me three. Sadly.
Ashley! This was amazing! I'm so glad you decided to post this. It is powerful. :)
How dare you remind me that the world needs to be a better place, you SJW.
That was bitter sarcasm. I'm mocking the people who follow that kind of logic. I know that seems obvious to some of you, but I've gotten shit from people who didn't realize that in the past. I know tone of voice doesn't translate well over the net, but I think my word choice should've made it fairly obvious.
Amorix and your profile picture should help make it obvious, too
SJW's don't use logic. People who can't control their emotions try to control peoples behavior. Any doctor that finds a cancer will have it removed immediately. This is no different. Degenerate pseudo-intellectuals should be publicly mocked and purged from society. Wake the fuck up.
I lost track of what you were saying after the second sentence. What exactly was your reply directed at? The video? My comment? Both? Neither?
I agree with the message. I don't agree with that title, it's not the message you want to send
I mean, there is something to be said for the idea that you don't have to come out, and don't have to continuously come out, if it will end up being harmful emotionally or physically. People tend to focus on coming out as the be-all, end-all of "living your truth" and "loving yourself" while glossing over the real effects it can have on people's lives to the point where it sometimes is better to stay closeted.
Aninja yeah it's misleading
Dear straight people... stop coming out
Hey Ashley, I tried posting this in the replies of your comment, but I want to see if this will post in full
I have struggled for with my sexuality while being raised in a staunchly pro-conservative house. Out of fear for repulsion for what I feel, for sake of ideals in which I no longer hold any zeal. Spending years of my life trying to hide what is real. Five years of my life trying to conform to their ideals. Finally being able to be out on my own, yet still only half an hour from home. In college I can better represent the feeling of which I no longer wish to object and reject. I just want some respect. Knowing I'm not straight for years of my life, a year and a half ago sitting down to face head on the emotions I feel, being told they're reactions, that they are not real. Accepting that viewpoint because in real life, I didn't quite feel a desire for a husband or wife. Aromantic, a word that very well describes me. I was frantic trying to be who they wanted me to be. Saying I'm asexual to hide from the shame. At the time that held some validity. But I no longer want to search out for pity. Whether Ace or Gay I'm still LGBT+, so why not bury my feelings inside with out confronting, I must. Asexual is a word I used to identify with, to keep from sinking down with a ship. Even now, accepting that identity leaves me feeling lost, afraid of the eventual cost. I don't want to be without a home to go to during the breaks, just for things about me that they see as mistakes. Panic attacks writhing me with every word I type and years of fear every day and night.
"Gay-ce" by myself.
Any response would be appreciated. You are quite an amazing human and I am quite fond of your videos. DFTBA
I was inches away from hating this, because the title mislead me to the content, but I thought I'd watch it out of spite.
Probably the best thing I've done out of spite so far.
I am completely blown away by the content. Thank you for making this. It's something that needs to be said, and now it's in cool poetry form. Again, thank you.
I used to watch you at speech competitions in high school. I adore the things you do on your channel, it's so beautiful to see the work you've written since then. much love ❤
As a cis/ace male I understand & respect the anger. Being ace, I can quietly keep to myself & hide. Trans, Lesbian, Gay, Bi can't if they want to be with who they love!
That was incredible, it resonated with me in a way poetry rarely does
Wow. This is great. Your anger is just as valid as your more 'positive' emotions, so it's totally OK to put this out there.
There's a little misunderstanding in the comments, so let's get this straight (pun intended) about what, IMHO, this video meant:
1 - QUEER BAITING SUCKS. Ash calls out queer baiting on UA-cam by some a$$holes, but there's also TV shows. Tricking a community for cash sucks. It's using people's struggles for financial benefit, which is the opposite of what most lgbt+ youtubers do. No dirty tricks.
2 - COMING OUT AS LGBT+ IS NOT A JOKE. It's a huge part of someone's life, and let's be honest, It's rarely cool and casual. Most of the time, for the average person, It's an ordeal and It doesn't go well, at least with some friends and family, sometimes all of them. Turning this pinpoint in life into some youtube prank / joke is more than disrespectful. It's damaging. It confuses and shame into ridicule young queer ppl who then might stay in the closet. As for "coming out as straight"... come on, you know It's as wrong and as insulting as a white guy putting a "blackface" in front of real black people.
That's brutal and not poetic, but at least I hope It was clear. Now, I may be wrong about Ash's intent. Ash, feel free to correct me if that's the case.
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Your poems always touch me, I love it when you repeat parts of words in other words. The part where you said: "maybe losing everything" made shivers run through my spine. You also make a good point, I really hate it when it's just clickbait or even worse, people pranking their friends with saying that they're gay and providing a pile of homophobia after 'coming out'. Such as: "Haha no I'm not f*cking gay, I'm normal" and more of those remarks.
I hope you'll be making more poems, Ash!
Wow... Ash, I have never been so proud to be a fan of yours. This video was incredible, putting all the thoughts I've harbored silently for years... Into words. Thank you so much.
I've only been a fan for a month, but I must say, I am blown away by this poem. The mockery of coming out scares me too much to actually come out to anyone but someone who I know will be okay with me. How little coming out is taken seriously makes me mad. Do you know how long I've wanted to tell my transphobic and (somewhat) homophobic Christian mother that I'm bi? Do you understand the pain I've been and the anxiety I've had while keeping this secret? No, you don't. So shut the fuck up about coming out.
you do many amazing things, but what enthralled me years ago to subscribe was your poetry. you weave words together and perform them in a way that no other person can imitate. thank you for sharing it :)
Watched you practice this on you now - I'm very proud of the end result !!! Well done!
This made me cry because all the emotions I feel were finally put into words by someone. thank you.
I said this on your vlog channel and I'll say it here too. I don't care if it's a joke, but when people just use it as clickbait, it pisses me off. So much.
And I forgot to write this just like I did on the vlog channel:
if people do it to mock people (coughonisioncough) then they can just get off the fucking internet.
JMG787 what did onision do?
Panda Ar Make a fake coming out video mocking Shane Dawson and other people for coming out.
I've been trying for about 5 videos now to try and come up with a comment that encompasses all the feelings I have about you. Grace, your content, the effort you put into your beautiful videos and every time I try and write something it seems to come up short. So this is me just trying to say how appreciative I am of you and everything you do. Thank you.
1:35 Oh how I love poetry..
and also 1:59 goddamn
Catarina Bakker I'm a year late but also 2:16
This took my breath away in the best way possible.
This is beautiful! I couldn't help be play it over and over again, understanding each moment and loving you even more. Thank you for reclaiming October 11th, because that is our one day.
I'm in tears.
you're so pretty omg (sorry if you'd prefer other compliments, I'm not sure of your gender)
DanandPhil Edits she, her, they, them are all fine by Ash
Jam Parker okay, thank you, I appreciate it :)
Yea no problem. She gets that question a lot
PHANDOM!! heyyyy
If in doubt, tell her she is smart or witty, that should fit about every gender. ;)
Your videos give me courage. Maybe someday all of the panic attacks will be worthwhile. Thanks for posting and being yourself.
Do other youtubers do this? I'm not surprised, I just haven't seen it happening before.
I've seen a couple people pretend irl once ut not on the internet, same as you lol I would love some examples if anyone knows of internet people doing this.
Simply Nailogical coined the term "holosexual," and has been using it to make merch and stuff, and all her fans call themselves holosexuals... A lot of times in her videos she says things like "this is how you know you're holosexual!"
amy g.
Thats the worst omg there are so many things wrong with that
Onision, a cis guy, made a fake coming out video saying he was a trans guy. Also Jacksfilms came out as straight
I watch Simply Nailogical sometimes and I don't really understand why the term is bad. Could you explain it please?
This is beauty. This shows how we don't ask for the insults and hatred and judgment, we didn't choose to be like this. We've been like this since BIRTH, and people should just ACCEPT us. So, all I want to say, is Thank You, for being you.
I just wanted to say your poem is beautiful, you are a role model for me, you helped me discover myself! You are the best and please continue to do what you do! 🤗🤗🤗
PS: These glasses are beautiful on you😍
Your poetry always makes me feel like I need to yell and cry, but for all the good reasons instead of the bad ones. Also, those glasses look SO cute on you, you always look so good !! You're in inspiration, Ash!
brilliant
I wish I could like this a thousand times!
This made me cry. Very well said and expressed. Thank you for sharing. ♥
Thank you for writing this n_n I waited until highschool to come out as (possibly) a gay male (I hadn't dated a guy yet so I although I was pretty sure I didn't want to jump to assumptions) because there was this 'fad' going around my middle school where they were all 'bi' and they'd just hold hands but never really date.
I didn't feel comfortable coming out in fear that my sexuallity wouldn't be taken seriously, seeing it as 'me trying to be cool'. Pretending to be LGBTQ is not ok. Not for veiws, not to be trendy. Ever.
This, this right here is why I subscribed so long ago. The fire and passion you put in your poems, that unique flare that no one should dare mess with. Your ability to say how you feel, to be truly you. That, that is why I'm here. Proud to be the person I am, I might not be queer but I came appreciate those who are. And, the struggles they go through, and I never falter on my beliefs. And, I hope one day and one day soon, that nobody will be judged on how they love.
I'm so in love with this
That was amazing and beautiful, Ash! I really enjoyed listening to your poem.
Im Gay and got Oct 11th birthday this is my luck and fate
Ash this is so beautiful and brave . Sometimes anger needs to be expressed for ppl to truly get it . I love it. Be proud in every sense of the word .keep it up , you inspire me .
This is beautiful. I don't think it's angry- I think it's sensical. I am going to listen to this over and over again. Thank you so much. (Also, I love your glasses. And your haircut. I wish I could do it like that.)
You honestly should do poetry reading competitions because I was so moved 1) by the message and 2) by the passion behind your voice as you read.
Yes read them to the ground girl
**twirls**
Ashley...Thank you for putting this out there. As a straight person, I roll my eyes at things like this, but never really thought about how it would affect me if I were gay. You speak so eloquently and clearly that there's no question how you feel. I love your poems. They offer so much.
i loved your video...
My God this is beautiful.
oh my god if had to record that i'd start over so many times xD
Much love and support for what you're doing from tunisia ! Very powerful meaning to every word you said !
I love your poem video's, they're always so great and thought out. Also thank you for calling queerbaiting out. I've never really seen it happen on yt (mostly because I dont subscribe to people who would do that), but I've seen queerbaiting in tv shows/books (which happens in a different way than yt queerbaiting but still), and it is infuriating.Thank you for the poems ^_^
I loved the music you paired with the poem, and I thought the piece itself was very moving. You shined a different perspective on coming out I never considered, and it really gives me something to think about.
Thank you
I LOVE YOUR GLASSES AND HAIR!😙 My ideal style is yours :D
You are so bloody talented Ashley. I'm glad you put this out there because it made me feel so many things. Thank you!!!
I'm a demi-girl
Girl name : Jessica
Male: Jackson 🙃
I've not come out as demi yet but I have came out of pan
ugh I can't explain how amazing your videos are. You're so professional in everything you do. thank you
ever thought of going to poetry slams? your poems would definitely do well there
can i hug you? thank you Ashley for saying out loud what so many think quietly.
maybe a little bit off topic but on your thumbnail you looks so different. it's incredible how much your appearance changed over the course of one year and It really suits you and somehow you do seem a lot more confident and like your mind is at easier (not at complete ease since there are so many issues the LGBT+ community has to face and therefore you also have to face). but seeing how something small within you changed for the better, for the more being truly you is really nice :)