I am finally walking away starting tonight. I can’t wait for the days to go by as I feel more empowered and confident with my decision. Everyday I will reaffirm myself that I made the right choice.
I had to hear this by being friends i had hoped that we can go back with each other but she said its over no friends nothing. So im starting slowly to let go every day .
With my ex, when I went to drop off his stuff I made him say the words, “There is no hope of us ever getting back together.” He didn’t want to, but he did. Because I know myself, I said to him I can’t just be sitting around waiting for you to come back. And I also don’t personally believe in breaking up with someone and then getting back together with them. You broke up because it was broken. And I think a “break” is just an excuse for a lot of people. It’s honestly the smartest and best thing that I had him do that for me in the end. Because hearing him say those worlds really made it real. And the fact that he willingly said them means he isn’t the one i’m supposed to be with. Because someone that truly loves me would never be able to say those words.
You are always so self-aware! I wish I had known myself well enough to ask those types of questions of my exes. Getting that type of clarity can be so necessary for some of us!
So true..right on....move on and let go...it takes two people to make the relationship work. Bigger and better things ahead ...it's time to move on. Great advice Ashley.
It’s so hard to let go of the idea of what could have been. I painted a picture of my guy and then realized he was the complete opposite of what I thought.
Hi Ash, you're videos are so inspiring and you just tell it like it is, without sugar coating things. My partner and I recently separated after 3 years, with 1.5 years of those living together. It was her decision to end our relationship. We had some issues going back about a year, and perhaps I was blinded by the fact that things were worse off then what they were on the surface. Our relationship was magical for the first year, and beat of friends too. She often referred to us as being twin flames. I had moved into a house with her, that she just purchased, and I was essentially living there with her, and helping pay for everything that came along with owning a home (untilies, groceries etc) I was working working at a job I had for 4 years, and she owns her own business, that she's had for many years. One day in October, she asked me if I'd like to join their team and work with her at the office. I decided to, and things were great at first, then 3 months later, is when she wanted out of the relationship, and said I should find an apartment. I reluctantly agreed, but the bad thing with all this, is that I still work for her and see one another every day. I still have feelings for her of course, and about a month after I moved out, she informs me that she's seeing someone. I couldn't believe it. She did say though, that she never knew this person while we were together. I am currently on the fence about leaving the job, to obviously separate myself from having to see and hear her everyday. I've overhead talking about her new BF as well, and my heart just sinks. I'm getting counciling and have been watching videos about self help. I especially like watching your videos, because you seem so raw and genuine about what is obvious. Anyways, I would really appreciate any feedback you might have regarding my unique situation. Thanks again Ash, and keep doing what you're doing. Take care. Craig
Hi Ash, thank you for another great video! After I broke up with my ex, we maintained off/on content for a month until I finally insisted on him clarifying his intentions. He said he needed time but didn’t want to lose my friendship but by the time he replied I had found out he was already in a relationship with someone new (he got into a relationship with her a whole month before we even broke up!) I never replied and cut off all communication and even though it’s difficult I know my healing process is ongoing and will continue to work on myself. It was a toxic 3yr relationship and I want to make sure my trauma is healed before I move on to dating again.
Thanks so much for sharing your situation with me! So happy you enjoyed the video ❤️ you should be so proud of yourself for being direct and asking him to clarify what his intentions are! I wish I had the sense to do this after some of my past breakups, especially the one I spoke of in this video. It sounds like you’re doing some amazing work here. The fact that you are giving yourself time and understanding that healing is ongoing says SO MUCH in itself ❤️
I love how you're being straightforward and upfront, be honest with what you want. Many videos I watched taught me how to get someone back and I felt so uncomfortable. I mean lol, ok, I adore that person but if the other doesn't feel the same, no matter how much it hurts, I choose to walk away. I used to be clingy in the past as I thought I couldn't live without someone. Now I look back and laugh at myself. Lol. I am still alive without them. I was afraid to let go because I don't want to lose someone, but later in my life, I realize that even if I try to hold onto, is there any guarantee that they will stay? Nope. Thank you for good content, Ash. Looking forward to your videos. Always.
This is such lovely feedback! Thank you so much ☺️ YES! The messaging around chasing an ex goes entirely against my core values and beliefs, and it kills me that so many coaches/gurus teach these types of tactics. It’s complete self-betrayal and not at all rooted in a place of genuine self-love. It’s incredibly toxic in my opinion! I couldn’t agree more with what you’re saying here - such profound insights! It sounds like you’ve done some really great work and healing. Well done to you! 🙌🏼❤️
Thank you for this Ashley. I really needed this right now. Struggling to let go of someone who I feel like I desperately need. And I have been the chaser. Unfortunately I know the truth but it’s always better to hear it from someone else who understands as well. So thank you so much.
I’m really sorry to hear you’re struggling with this - you are far from alone. I hope my video was able to provide you with some clarity ❤️ hang in there! You will be okay!
Thank you so much, I love my ex so much but she has moved on now. I was going to keep her as a friend because I didn’t want to lose her, but I think I’ll just cut all contact with her as it’s just too painful... i need time to heal and let go.
I backed off and she came back... for 6 months I was chasing and I started to let go. She came back and we are taking it very slow....If you're ex does come back please take it SLOW!
@@AshleyNord Question Ashley she did come back but for example I called her and phone rang and rang to voice mail. She text me back saying...... Eating dinner before cards I'll talk to you later...she never called or text me back that night....I'm taking it slow but am I over reacting because I feel she didn't put me on priority to at least call or text back for conversation?
Hey, to me, you already seem to be doing the right thing of taking things slow, but it triggered me a bit when you expressed about not being prioritized.. be cautious, it is fine as long as she is genuinely busy & hopefully communicates the same to you, at least when asked for.. But if its anything similar to what I have experienced in 1.5 year connection with my Ex (which should have ended in
Never chase. If your ex has lost attraction for you - walk away and go into no contact. This will change the power dynamic. If they come back - be careful. Tread lightly. They broke up with you - they have to work to get you back.
If she has broken up with you and still talking you.......she is just making her break up process easy. The only light beyond the tunnel is that you can win her back if you are really really smart.
Thanks for this Ash. I voiced to myself and my ex-spouse that things were over. But in my strong reactions to her new relationship, I realize that I need to work on this more actively. I feel like I am always dealing with a crisis in front of me and can't take a breath to deal with traumas from the past (including two divorces and a child born with extra medical needs). I appreciate your gentle nudge.
I really relate to what you’re describing here in relation to dealing with crisis all the time and therefore never having the capacity to deal with the root issue. I think I spent most of my life this way until I met my fiancé - and then it all came erupting to the surface! Poor guy 😂 Perhaps now is the time for you to really create the space in your life to care for your inner pain and trauma? Breakups and divorces are gut-wrenchingly painful, but they do create incredible opportunities for growth and self exploration. They can be a rebirth of sorts.
How to move on from betrayal? Double betrayal actually. My ex and I broke up 6 months ago, she ended our 9 year relationship . She is now dating my best friend and I found out 4 months ago.... I feel really angry.. more on my best friend than my ex...
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this! The pain would be unbearable 😖 This is a great topic suggestion though, and one I haven’t really covered as yet! So thank you, I will certainly plan on covering this one ❤️ Please know that your friend and ex doing this to you is NOT a reflection of you.
@@AshleyNord thank you so much for your reply. The break up has been really tough. And I thought my best friend would be there for me.. but he stabbed my back instead.. Ill look forward to hear your thoughts. Thank you so much 🙏.
very wise words spoke , many need to hear this, yes go to the source and deal with the truth whether you like it or not, be mature and think about it , what if you were them , what if you did not want them back , leave well enough alone, healing is a process and shit hurts and sucks, rejections sucks and hurts but its imperative to life to learn and grow, we aren't right for everyone and that's ok, let them and yourself find someone who is or find what's right for you in your life as well as them . great video!
Thank you so much! This is such lovely feedback to receive ☺️❤️ Yes! 🙌🏼 going to the source for the truth will save you so much long term pain and heartache. I couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve said! Amen!
You’ll never find yourself if you’re too busy chasing someone else. And honestly, f*** ‘em - if they’re making themselves feel better by saying they want to be friends, they’re giving themselves the right to still call the shots in your relationship. Take that control back for yourself and tell them “No, you don’t deserve that power, only someone who wants me fully gets my loyalty.”
Ashley I hate my life and feel like a fool still holding on to hope after three months even though i know my ex has moved on with someone else. I just feel soo bitter and angry. Over a year and a half of my time invested into this person who i foolishly fell in love with. I feel it was a complete waste of my time.
I’ve found letting go a real challenge. When we split up a year ago, in my mind I was 95% sure she would change her mind and come back. How wrong was I! I realised she wasn’t coming back as she has been dating everyone but me, and is now on her 3rd boyfriend after me! I have a new partner now too, but the pain and thoughts if “what if?” haven’t gone away yet. After Covid lockdowns we will continue working in the same office. It’s been over a year since we last did. I’ll be fine, but I still have to actively remind myself not to give her an image when I think of her. I have to remind myself that she isn’t special and caring, and that she isn’t someone who is good for/ to me. I need to think of her as just another woman, as what I thought we had, this idea in my brain that we are great together, no longer exists and is no longer true.
I hear you! Letting go is so hard, and I think most of us find it a challenge at different points in life ❤️ Unfortunately, controlling our thoughts/feelings or the way we remember someone isn’t exactly doable. In fact, it’s once we are fully accepting of our thoughts and feelings without resistance that they often gradually loosen their grip. Do you practice meditation at all?
The UA-cam algorithm better get this video recommended for everybody who needs to see this (including the Exes)! Ash, this video is so impactful for me that I literally used an online transcriber to download the text (learnt about this today!), I have highlighted the key questions you have addressed and I am going to ask myself the same for every time I doubt my decision of blocking that past connection or feel tempted for reconciliation. I could've noted down the key points instead, but I undoubtedly need every word you've said in the whole duration of this video & what you've shared from the risingwoman are now hopefully engraved in my mind. You're right.. I think I have all the most needed answers, I am just not able to accept some of them, attached to the past which is making it harder to let go & scared of the unknown. I am trying to surrender to the mystery.. Thank you so much Ash!! I feel blessed and guided! 💗💗💗 The only thing I am missing is a furry friend(s)... 🥺
Aww I hope so too! Come on UA-cam! 🙌🏼😉 Oh that’s amazing!! I never even knew that was such a thing either. I feel so humbled and flattered that you’re using it for this video ☺️ what a compliment! Yes, it definitely sounds like you have all the answers and inner wisdom inside of you. But fear of the unknown keeps a lot of us stuck ❤️
Best guy friend sitting in the background waiting for you to see him but he didn’t realize that he was never your number one choice but a backup and even though for him he’ll take it, for you it will never be enough Ashley..long story short you will eventually leave him...you might love your fiancé but you were never really attracted...and the guy that comes along more attracted it’ll be natural for you to be tempted..love your channel Though!!!
I want to let go of my ex. When he ignores my messages it makes me feel like I have said something wrong even tho I scrolled up and turned out I already said what I had to say. But on the other hand it makes me feel like I wanna convince that I would change but I also let him know that it’s not only me who did wrong in the relationship… why is my brain trying to make me expressing a lot of things
I gave up last week. I shouldn't have to fight for her love. I'm just taking a break from dating to rebuild my life and start over. Hopefully the right woman comes along.
It’s just 17 years with someone is such a long time and we were really happy. I’m not able to accept this. I’m hanging on and it’s incredibly painful. I don’t know how to do this
He’s with someone else..... He was very manipulative , verbally /emotionally abusive, and dishonest so I had to leave.... I had him blocked for months , but he was still reaching out but I didn’t answer... ....it was hell not talking to him and not having any closure....so I finally unblocked him hoping he would reach out , and we could maybe work things out or atleast have a conversation.... but he hasn’t reached out, all he does is block and unblock from time to time..... I don’t understand it... I don’t reach out to him at all.... but it feels like he’s just toying or punishing me.... I am still very deeply in love with him..... but he’s loving and cherishing someone else....so I won’t ever reach out to him... But whatever this is , it’s working ....because i feel like I’m dying ... Can anyone help me?..... please
It hurts so fucking much, I want her back so much my heart is aching like someone stabs it every day. I know I have to come to terms with the fact that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, she did say after we broke up that this might've just been the wrong time, and that there was potential in the future. But in recent days that seems to have changed, she's already moving on with some other guy and she's completely cold with me, non responsive, ignoring me, etc. It hurts so fucking much when I gave her my whole heart and she still has it, I still love her a lot.
Ashley thank u for this video. I needed this tonight. The last two nights I’ve been crying myself to bed 5am and 4Am. Tonight it’s 1:30 now. When you said our ex gives us a sense of hope and still keeping back because of insecurity. That might be exactly what I needed to hear. My ex we broke up 6 yrs ago due to him being super insecure. I was not used to this type of behavior so I ended. I never got over it cuz I loved how we were together. I’ve been holding hope ur now he makes me feel like I’m just an option. But I think it’s bcuz I’m so independent. I thought maybe he wouldn’t be as insecure now since but ur right he is still insecure enhance all the mind games.
Such a timely post! I am the person who is still being friends with ex and now I regret to agree to meet with him n his new date. I thought I have let it go though. I cannot stop blaming myself for postponing my healing process by this way.
So happy it was relevant for you! Ouch, that sounds painful 😖 I definitely don’t think meeting up with an ex and his new date is something you need to be doing! It’s not necessary or beneficial to put yourself through that ❤️
My ex send me a long messages of how he wants to fix our relationship and wanna come back to me when he’s ready while he has a new relationship one week after our break up with a girl I know :/ Tbh I was excited to received his messages but at the end of the day who he is choosing isn’t me but her.
Yikes! Talk about mixed messages 😖 this guy sounds like a total mess. He wants to have his cake and eat it too 🙄 You’re right, he’s not choosing you and his actions are speaking louder than his words here ❤️
Good video blog, which really help me. The brutal truth is needed to be said. For me it has been just less than a month since I was dumped by my ex. The issue, my ex was a heavy drinker and had emotional trauma of the past. Now she has quickly moved on to another guy who wooed her behind my back. She could not say a bad word against me when I was dumped, so I walk away proud. Putting 5 years relationship in the past and now look ahead to the future.
Block simply works as it helps u get off those hope one ll mesg again ..:) n breakup is painful but good for a better n normal life :p ...wait patienly, dont dive in hurry..surely get rite one :)
Please make videos on how to let go someone, how to move on, how to heal ourselves. I'm trying to move on since 10 months and I'm unable to do so. Those past good memories keep running in my mind. I miss my ex alot. She's dating someone else now and doesn't give a fuck about me now. Still I'm not able to get that emotional stability within myself. I'm not able to handle all this though I'm trying my best to do so.
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this painful turmoil. As a person who has gone through a break up about 10 months ago from a 10 year relationship I can totally understand and sympathize with your pain. The way how I have gotten mostly over my ex I have been trying to connect with myself and thought of the break up as an opportunity for adventure and self discovery rather than an experience of loss. I encourage you to think about all the things you want to do and accomplish in your life and work towards getting them done. Also, don't be afraid to think outside the box and be creative. One thing that helped me connect with myself was an inspiration to write a romance novel and as I am still working on it I realized that I am able to connect with the wounded and darker side of myself. Additionally, through writing and creating a fantasy world I have learned stuff about myself and found what kind of partner I want in my life. I encourage you to find something that you enjoy and makes you calm. I found that our ability to move from an ex is mainly dependent on how we view the break up and how we view ourselves rather than what happened. Most of the time the reason why we have a hard time to let go of someone we love has nothing to do with the one we love but its because there is an issue within ourselves that we dont want to face. I encourage you to look at your life without your ex not as a life full of misery and loneliness but as an an opportunity to get to love yourself and adventure. You can now be the best person you always wanted to be and on this adventure of self discovery you can meet a partner who is better and more amazing than the one you have lost. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
Hi Pradhuman, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling emotionally. In addition to the incredible suggestions Marta has made here, I’ve discussed this topic a lot in past videos. I actually have a whole playlist called “the breakup diaries” with all kinds of videos related to this topic that you might find helpful when it comes to letting go ❤️
I just ended a 1-year relationship with someone I really loved & respected. It felt like he wasn't over his ex girlfriend of 11 years, he still kept their pictures in his phone even put it in a secured folder. Now I'm asking myself if he really did love me or was just using me to mend him & for his lustful needs. It really hurts like hell and I don't know how to cope yet. Hoping I'd feel better soon. Thanks for your videos.
thank you for this words.I'm struggle now just yesterday she told me she love me she miss me,suddenly she said we need to brake for this person.it is painful for me.
My dear friend if you are facing any challenges in your Relationship worry no more, I'll introduce you to the same relationship restorer who helped me got my ex back, he can help you within 48 hours
I genuinely need some advice. I’ve been with my now partner for 3 years. The story starts with myself. I’m 34 and was in an extremely toxic relationship prior to meeting my now girlfriend ( the relationship before her ) I was in that toxic relationship for 8 years we had kids a house the usual. The girl in question was very controlling when it came to sex and she was extremely adventurous with it as well public settings etc she would use sex as a currency and a reward scheme towards me. I became obsessed with the crazy and dirty sometimes questionable sex with her. Even though it was completely toxic. There was a lot of cheating and fighting and stuff as well. Anyway we finished but I was so hung up on losing my family unit and truth be told I struggled to let go of the madness that she made normal. On top of that I’ve been diagnosed with a personality disorder and a paranoia disorder as well as depression and suicidal tendencies. I struggle in public situations I struggle to make friends and truthfully I’m a pretty lonely guy. ( what’s got me by in life is I’ve always had looks so somehow even despite my flaws life ticked over. ) this is why I was always in a relationship to prevent loneliness. Anyway once that relationship finished I started a new job and met a new girl. ( the new girl was pregnant with another man’s kid but it wasn’t shady or anything they had a 1 night stand on 2 occasions drunk and had 2 kids but had no real relationship) so me and this new girl really hit it off like I’ve never hit it off before. Everything seemed so natural and honestly I fell in love with her so fast ( it wasn’t intended nor have I ever did this in the past ) for the first 4 weeks of my new relationship I started to feel confused. She would show me so much attention via messages and calls and in work but the second it was just us she would for example sit at the opposite side of the couch or we went 3 weeks without kissing etc was really strange. I asked her over and over again what’s wrong and are we ever going to kiss and that it was a bit confusing for me. She replied she was shy around me which is a fair response. But then I found out before me she had a core couple of guys she would sleep with when she was drunk and bored at the weekend. ( this is where my diagnoses comes in ) my head just couldn’t work out how she could sleep with random dudes whether she knew them or not but she wouldn’t come near me. So I allowed my head to take this information and create a situation I just sort of backed off a little. When I did this I have to be honest I still allowed around 6 girls to continue texting me. 1 being my ex and a few who fancied me. Later I found out this also made her distant. So it seemed we both just didn’t have communication or atleast understanding and fear. Fast forward in the relationship I ended up allowing my ex to manipulate me with sex and the promise of family life. ( I’m not blaming anyone except myself at the end of the day regardless of reasons or fuel or excuses or diagnoses it’s my fault ) anyway this fling behind my partners back wasn’t purely for sex I was genuinely upset and confused and couldn’t accept someone being in my kids life and living the life I was supposed to have with my ex. It was strange because my now partner was the one. Like I knew it from the second I laid eyes on her. My problem was my childhood was filled with let downs trauma and break ups and very little care. And my new partner genuinely scared me because I had never felt so strong about someone and at the same time I have never been so confused. Long story short I eventually told my partner about the situation and I told her I was scared to be hurt again and my ex was very good at controlling and manipulating me and that I blame myself and I was sorry and if she could forgive me I’d do anything to fight for her. And to change everything ugly about myself and also seek medical help. I also want to say she was pregnant during my infidelity and she would have did anything for me she really would have. And everytime she brought it up because she had an idea I would lie and call her crazy. ( I was ashamed and embarrassed but admittedly I didn’t end the fling till months later ) I can’t even explain my thought process on 1 hand I felt totally ashamed and disgusted in myself but on the other hand I had totally disassociated. I couldn’t explain it. I’d go home crying from my fling but when I was there it just felt like family life. I genuinely regret it because it hurt someone who actually cared about me. She was the first person to ever want me for me and not a transactional situation. But for two years I’ve poured my heart and soul into my new relationship she chose to stay even though I told her to leave. I faced all my demons I got professional help and I’ve not told a lie for two years. Problem is she just couldn’t forget or forgive. This once beautiful hearted girl turned nasty and angry and hateful and filled with venom. Even in situations that had nothing to do with me she would take it out on me and be really really cruel and nasty. She would shout at me or disrespect me whenever she felt like it and she’d shut me down if I ever tried to talk. She refused all professional help like relationship counselling etc. and she’d break up with me randomly whenever she felt like it. To my knowledge she’s never ever did anything shady it’s just not in her heart. Fast forward to this week. She wanted to do a shift at work but neither me or her mum could look after the kids and she’s blew up at me even though I had work. She blew up at me because her mum sed no and she was panicking about birthdays and Christmas I tried to calm her down and reassure her everything will work out. But she flipped on me and called the relationship off and told me she hates me and can’t forget what I did 2 years ago. She doesn’t ever ask how I am and she never really talks about anything emotional. She’s the type to bottle it all up I’ve tried begging I’ve tried fighting for her I’ve tried not giving up I’m out of options. I know I’ve broken this girl but I really have tried so hard for 2 years to make her happy and fix things. To the point I actually don’t really apose her and she gets her way 99% of the time. In all honestly this isn’t a fleeting moment or a trauma bond I genuinely adore this girl and for once over these past two years I’ve really worked hard on myself and become a genuine person and during this time I g realised just how much I loved her and wanted to make it work. Does anyone have any advice. How do I get threw to her how can I make this work
week one and second break up w the guy, i feel so stupid letting him back the first time. i highly doubt he'll come back this time but if he does nah, i dont wanna go through this pain again
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Please don’t feel stupid ❤️ beating yourself up won’t help you. Try your best to show yourself some grace and understanding.
I’m needing to let go. But I’ve been told I won’t be able to until I find my worth. HOW DO YOU FIND SELF WORTH? How do you go about it. My mind is so scattered I can’t even. Keep s straight thought. Please help with a guidance of starting the second worth journey. Cus I keep falling back into traps of my ex and his abusive ways.
I hear you ❤️ I know how hard this is. Have you watched any of my other videos by any chance? Particularly the one on self love! I think you may find it helpful ☺️
My ex is giving me mixed signals and playing games I love her so much and don’t know what to do. She won’t let go of the past says she is in love with me but can’t be with me right now ? I’m so confused? Thoughts advice?
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Still struggling how to keep move forward with my ex. But the least i can do is do not communicate with him or beg. But i always look his social media :(
If they haven’t called or texted in months but you still love them, Would it be ok to send a message letting them know how they made you feel as a way of getting your own closure ? Or is that the wrong thing to do ..., or would it come off desperate or pathetic?...... I’m only asking because I just don’t want to do anything that will result in more pain.... I’m already in far more pain than I can bear as it is ..... Can anyone help?...., please ??
I have been there, I suggest you to stay in your own safe boundaries. I was the one who always texted my Ex to break the frequent no contact/ghosting periods from him, it turned out to be so unworthy. The push-pull dynamic, on/off, breadcrumbs, you name it, I have seen it all! I got no closure from him, but I gradually learnt that I am my best bet to give myself the deserving closure and so I ended it after suffocating myself for 1.5 year. If your person is putting in some effort to get things working by being transparent with you, then sure you can try, if not, please save yourself from inviting the hurt. I understand that you are afraid of the consequences from either of the moves, but at the end, it is far better to let go of a connection that is only draining you in any way and to arrive at this, you will have to be patient with yourself, ask the right questions to that person, be clear on your intentions, understand both of your priorities and then evaluate how you want to proceed, do not hurry! Also, please don't ignore ANY red flags at any point in the relationship, no matter how smooth it seems to be.. My Ex was only consistent in telling me to not have any hopes on him since the beginning of the connection, guess what, he told me the same when I confronted him before ending it.. Nobody deserves to be treated like this..
@@__rmk__9360 Thank you for taking the time to respond to me..... perhaps you are right and I will Say nothing and keep to myself ..... my heart breaks every single day without hearing from him.... and it’s been Months of him being silent ....so I guess I have no choice but to leave it alone.... The pain is crippling......but If he is happy without me , so be it
@Sheena Lawrence I understand.. please trust that it is manageable & gradually you will find yourself not affected by it anymore if you start introspecting & pursuing your other interests. I have recently learnt that motivation won't stay for long except to give a kick start, but habits help us in the long run..! So, I have been trying to monitor my professional and personal tasks at least on alternate days, I do keep getting distracted, check my phone, unblock & block that contact again, but I think I am comfortable enough with myself to let that reel of thoughts and heat flow through and then I do the self-talk in my head to focus back on my tasks that really need me to work on! I am struggling, but I know that I am doing myself a favor by trying to stick to what really matters to me in my life.. it takes time, so it is important to be gentle & patient with ourselves.. I am not a certified professional in this subject, but here's what is slowly working for me.. that is to think of all the worst possible cases, evaluate the pros and cons.. if you do so, you might probably feel relieved in some way, because our subconscious mind would actually prepare us with something uplifting or protecting in some way, it again depends on how you have been treating yourself though.. but it works, because in my case, I realized that it's not that bad as I have hallucinated it to be for having to end things.. sure I had the experiences help me to feel confident after this thought process and I am sure you will only get mentally stronger if you do so.. Also, count your blessings! This is very important! It could be anything from you feeling glad to have or be something & then to someone recognizing you for being helpful or anything.. Identify some phrases (from external sources or coming up with something by yourself) that make you feel confident & reassuring, then keep repeating those to yourself as many times as possible, every single day.. it does wonders in rewiring our minds for the higher good of ourselves..! Believe in yourself, trust your journey, I know its overwhelming & scary, but we all have the capabilities to withstand, grow and keep rising to higher levels. I feel that there is no loss in any worst case scenario as long as we capture & learn the lessons (BTW, they keep recurring until we learn). Don't worry, you are not alone, everything you are undergoing is valid, just focus inwards, am sure things will get better.. Take care!
UGH those spammers are the absolute worst aren’t they!! I’ve blocked every keyboard they use and they still find a way to spam my comments 🤬 I’ve reported her and removed her comments. Anyway, I couldn’t agree more with RMK’s replies here. Personally, I don’t think involving your ex in your closure process is necessary. That being said, I can’t say what the right or wrong choice for you is here. Have you watched my last video about finding closure by any chance? I talk about this exact topic in detail ❤️
My ex is 3 mos pregnant after leaving jan 2 , but she still posting negativity about me.. she keep pushing the issue thats its my fault coz im doing nothing in my annulment.. but im still in no contact
@@AshleyNord no maam, with the rebound guy,, i dnt know what happen,, suddenly she leave me, she always want to have a baby with me to get my whole attention to her, she dont want me to be with my friends and she get mad when im happy,,
@@AshleyNord she always want attention on social media,, weve been in relation for 5 yrs and all i do is to give her the best experience in travel and photos as we go on, and suddenly she stop loving me when i lost goos skedule on my job due to pandemic
I told my ex how i felt and found out he’s currently dating another person and out of respect i just told him how i felt and I’m moving forward in my life because he’s is dating someone else and I’d want the same respect.I told him i still have my feelings for him and that doesn’t have to question how i feel.But then he said we’ll probably be together in the end.Then later said he doesn’t know the future and he’s happy rn but he thinks we might end up together again and idk what to do
How do you do it though. How do you let go. You said how you waited around for something from your ex, but how the hell do you let go of that wish when you know it’s likely not going to come. 8 years together, she moved on within a month with someone else. There are not words to describe how I’m feeling beyond devastated, crushed, heartbroken, absolutely lost all will to live. So how do you truly get through this.
My ex is responsive and then goes silent but without fail looks at every single one of my Instagram stories! She is seeing some idiot too. If she wants nothing to do with me why doesn’t she just fucking remove me from her life and stop watching my social media!
Thank you, much needed. My ex husband moved out a year ago. He is engaged and building house together with his fiance. And i still haven't let go him.. So stupid and sad
Never accept friends. State what you want (relationship) and if they can't give that to you. Walk away and never look back.
I’m with you! Stating what you want is essential. And if they can’t/won’t give it to you, then you have to walk away.
I am finally walking away starting tonight. I can’t wait for the days to go by as I feel more empowered and confident with my decision. Everyday I will reaffirm myself that I made the right choice.
I had to hear this by being friends i had hoped that we can go back with each other but she said its over no friends nothing. So im starting slowly to let go every day .
With my ex, when I went to drop off his stuff I made him say the words, “There is no hope of us ever getting back together.” He didn’t want to, but he did. Because I know myself, I said to him I can’t just be sitting around waiting for you to come back. And I also don’t personally believe in breaking up with someone and then getting back together with them. You broke up because it was broken. And I think a “break” is just an excuse for a lot of people. It’s honestly the smartest and best thing that I had him do that for me in the end. Because hearing him say those worlds really made it real. And the fact that he willingly said them means he isn’t the one i’m supposed to be with. Because someone that truly loves me would never be able to say those words.
You are always so self-aware! I wish I had known myself well enough to ask those types of questions of my exes. Getting that type of clarity can be so necessary for some of us!
I really needed to hear this. I’ve been holding on for 10 months and now I can let go.
It's been 9 months for me and I know I should let go, but I just don't know how. 💔
Sending you so much love ❤️ you can do this! It’s an ongoing process but I promise you will get through it.
@@Vrxkz going on 6 months for me...we all can do this!
11 months here
I’m with you girl. Almost 11 months now. Hoping it will get easier 😔
When it's over leave. Don't continue watering a dead flower.....🌾
I agree! 🙌🏼
So true..right on....move on and let go...it takes two people to make the relationship work. Bigger and better things ahead ...it's time to move on. Great advice Ashley.
Yes!! 🙌🏼 thanks so much ❤️
It’s so hard to let go of the idea of what could have been. I painted a picture of my guy and then realized he was the complete opposite of what I thought.
If the reality of a reconnection is grim then the only way is to go your own route and not look back.
I agree! ❤️
Man this is a hard pill to swallow 🥺🥺
Aw I know 😔 it truly is so so hard! I hear you and I get it. But it’s honestly the only way...
I don’t know if it’s hope but it’s really hard to work through the current feelings of letting go. So hard.
I hear you! Working through such big emotions is really tough ❤️
Hi Ash, you're videos are so inspiring and you just tell it like it is, without sugar coating things. My partner and I recently separated after 3 years, with 1.5 years of those living together. It was her decision to end our relationship. We had some issues going back about a year, and perhaps I was blinded by the fact that things were worse off then what they were on the surface. Our relationship was magical for the first year, and beat of friends too. She often referred to us as being twin flames. I had moved into a house with her, that she just purchased, and I was essentially living there with her, and helping pay for everything that came along with owning a home (untilies, groceries etc) I was working working at a job I had for 4 years, and she owns her own business, that she's had for many years. One day in October, she asked me if I'd like to join their team and work with her at the office. I decided to, and things were great at first, then 3 months later, is when she wanted out of the relationship, and said I should find an apartment. I reluctantly agreed, but the bad thing with all this, is that I still work for her and see one another every day. I still have feelings for her of course, and about a month after I moved out, she informs me that she's seeing someone. I couldn't believe it. She did say though, that she never knew this person while we were together. I am currently on the fence about leaving the job, to obviously separate myself from having to see and hear her everyday. I've overhead talking about her new BF as well, and my heart just sinks. I'm getting counciling and have been watching videos about self help. I especially like watching your videos, because you seem so raw and genuine about what is obvious. Anyways, I would really appreciate any feedback you might have regarding my unique situation. Thanks again Ash, and keep doing what you're doing. Take care. Craig
Hi Ash, thank you for another great video! After I broke up with my ex, we maintained off/on content for a month until I finally insisted on him clarifying his intentions. He said he needed time but didn’t want to lose my friendship but by the time he replied I had found out he was already in a relationship with someone new (he got into a relationship with her a whole month before we even broke up!) I never replied and cut off all communication and even though it’s difficult I know my healing process is ongoing and will continue to work on myself. It was a toxic 3yr relationship and I want to make sure my trauma is healed before I move on to dating again.
Thanks so much for sharing your situation with me! So happy you enjoyed the video ❤️ you should be so proud of yourself for being direct and asking him to clarify what his intentions are! I wish I had the sense to do this after some of my past breakups, especially the one I spoke of in this video.
It sounds like you’re doing some amazing work here. The fact that you are giving yourself time and understanding that healing is ongoing says SO MUCH in itself ❤️
I love how you're being straightforward and upfront, be honest with what you want. Many videos I watched taught me how to get someone back and I felt so uncomfortable. I mean lol, ok, I adore that person but if the other doesn't feel the same, no matter how much it hurts, I choose to walk away. I used to be clingy in the past as I thought I couldn't live without someone. Now I look back and laugh at myself. Lol. I am still alive without them. I was afraid to let go because I don't want to lose someone, but later in my life, I realize that even if I try to hold onto, is there any guarantee that they will stay? Nope. Thank you for good content, Ash. Looking forward to your videos. Always.
This is such lovely feedback! Thank you so much ☺️ YES! The messaging around chasing an ex goes entirely against my core values and beliefs, and it kills me that so many coaches/gurus teach these types of tactics. It’s complete self-betrayal and not at all rooted in a place of genuine self-love. It’s incredibly toxic in my opinion!
I couldn’t agree more with what you’re saying here - such profound insights! It sounds like you’ve done some really great work and healing. Well done to you! 🙌🏼❤️
Thank you for this Ashley. I really needed this right now. Struggling to let go of someone who I feel like I desperately need. And I have been the chaser. Unfortunately I know the truth but it’s always better to hear it from someone else who understands as well. So thank you so much.
I’m really sorry to hear you’re struggling with this - you are far from alone. I hope my video was able to provide you with some clarity ❤️ hang in there! You will be okay!
Thank you so much, I love my ex so much but she has moved on now. I was going to keep her as a friend because I didn’t want to lose her, but I think I’ll just cut all contact with her as it’s just too painful... i need time to heal and let go.
I backed off and she came back... for 6 months I was chasing and I started to let go. She came back and we are taking it very slow....If you're ex does come back please take it SLOW!
Yes!! If they do come back, taking it slow is very wise 🙌🏼❤️
@@AshleyNord Question Ashley she did come back but for example I called her and phone rang and rang to voice mail. She text me back saying...... Eating dinner before cards I'll talk to you later...she never called or text me back that night....I'm taking it slow but am I over reacting because I feel she didn't put me on priority to at least call or text back for conversation?
Hey, to me, you already seem to be doing the right thing of taking things slow, but it triggered me a bit when you expressed about not being prioritized.. be cautious, it is fine as long as she is genuinely busy & hopefully communicates the same to you, at least when asked for.. But if its anything similar to what I have experienced in 1.5 year connection with my Ex (which should have ended in
I so appreciate your wisdom, heart & soul sharing Ashley!
Never chase. If your ex has lost attraction for you - walk away and go into no contact. This will change the power dynamic. If they come back - be careful. Tread lightly. They broke up with you - they have to work to get you back.
Okay but HOW did you know I needed this tonight? Cause this is exactly what I'm going through. Ugh I love you & your channel so much!! 😍❤️❤️❤️
Aww yay so happy it was timely for you! 😊🙌🏼 I hope it’s able to give you some comfort and clarity ❤️ sending you so much love!!
GIRL SAME. the universe works in mysterious ways i guess!
If she has broken up with you and still talking you.......she is just making her break up process easy. The only light beyond the tunnel is that you can win her back if you are really really smart.
Thanks for this Ash. I voiced to myself and my ex-spouse that things were over. But in my strong reactions to her new relationship, I realize that I need to work on this more actively. I feel like I am always dealing with a crisis in front of me and can't take a breath to deal with traumas from the past (including two divorces and a child born with extra medical needs). I appreciate your gentle nudge.
I really relate to what you’re describing here in relation to dealing with crisis all the time and therefore never having the capacity to deal with the root issue. I think I spent most of my life this way until I met my fiancé - and then it all came erupting to the surface! Poor guy 😂
Perhaps now is the time for you to really create the space in your life to care for your inner pain and trauma? Breakups and divorces are gut-wrenchingly painful, but they do create incredible opportunities for growth and self exploration. They can be a rebirth of sorts.
You the best. Truth is bitter, but it saves
Thanks so much ☺️❤️ you’re right - the truth can be tough. But it’s necessary in order to heal!
How to move on from betrayal? Double betrayal actually.
My ex and I broke up 6 months ago, she ended our 9 year relationship .
She is now dating my best friend and I found out 4 months ago.... I feel really angry.. more on my best friend than my ex...
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this! The pain would be unbearable 😖 This is a great topic suggestion though, and one I haven’t really covered as yet! So thank you, I will certainly plan on covering this one ❤️
Please know that your friend and ex doing this to you is NOT a reflection of you.
@@AshleyNord thank you so much for your reply. The break up has been really tough. And I thought my best friend would be there for me.. but he stabbed my back instead..
Ill look forward to hear your thoughts.
Thank you so much 🙏.
very wise words spoke , many need to hear this, yes go to the source and deal with the truth whether you like it or not, be mature and think about it , what if you were them , what if you did not want them back , leave well enough alone, healing is a process and shit hurts and sucks, rejections sucks and hurts but its imperative to life to learn and grow, we aren't right for everyone and that's ok, let them and yourself find someone who is or find what's right for you in your life as well as them . great video!
Thank you so much! This is such lovely feedback to receive ☺️❤️
Yes! 🙌🏼 going to the source for the truth will save you so much long term pain and heartache. I couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve said! Amen!
You’ll never find yourself if you’re too busy chasing someone else. And honestly, f*** ‘em - if they’re making themselves feel better by saying they want to be friends, they’re giving themselves the right to still call the shots in your relationship. Take that control back for yourself and tell them “No, you don’t deserve that power, only someone who wants me fully gets my loyalty.”
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How very helpful this video was, Ashley. Thank you. ❤️
Ashley I hate my life and feel like a fool still holding on to hope after three months even though i know my ex has moved on with someone else. I just feel soo bitter and angry. Over a year and a half of my time invested into this person who i foolishly fell in love with. I feel it was a complete waste of my time.
I’ve found letting go a real challenge. When we split up a year ago, in my mind I was 95% sure she would change her mind and come back.
How wrong was I!
I realised she wasn’t coming back as she has been dating everyone but me, and is now on her 3rd boyfriend after me!
I have a new partner now too, but the pain and thoughts if “what if?” haven’t gone away yet. After Covid lockdowns we will continue working in the same office. It’s been over a year since we last did. I’ll be fine, but I still have to actively remind myself not to give her an image when I think of her. I have to remind myself that she isn’t special and caring, and that she isn’t someone who is good for/ to me. I need to think of her as just another woman, as what I thought we had, this idea in my brain that we are great together, no longer exists and is no longer true.
I hear you! Letting go is so hard, and I think most of us find it a challenge at different points in life ❤️ Unfortunately, controlling our thoughts/feelings or the way we remember someone isn’t exactly doable. In fact, it’s once we are fully accepting of our thoughts and feelings without resistance that they often gradually loosen their grip. Do you practice meditation at all?
@@AshleyNord I just started this week Ashley. Thanks for your comment and I’ll keep working through the process.
The UA-cam algorithm better get this video recommended for everybody who needs to see this (including the Exes)!
Ash, this video is so impactful for me that I literally used an online transcriber to download the text (learnt about this today!), I have highlighted the key questions you have addressed and I am going to ask myself the same for every time I doubt my decision of blocking that past connection or feel tempted for reconciliation. I could've noted down the key points instead, but I undoubtedly need every word you've said in the whole duration of this video & what you've shared from the risingwoman are now hopefully engraved in my mind.
You're right.. I think I have all the most needed answers, I am just not able to accept some of them, attached to the past which is making it harder to let go & scared of the unknown. I am trying to surrender to the mystery..
Thank you so much Ash!! I feel blessed and guided! 💗💗💗
The only thing I am missing is a furry friend(s)... 🥺
Aww I hope so too! Come on UA-cam! 🙌🏼😉
Oh that’s amazing!! I never even knew that was such a thing either. I feel so humbled and flattered that you’re using it for this video ☺️ what a compliment!
Yes, it definitely sounds like you have all the answers and inner wisdom inside of you. But fear of the unknown keeps a lot of us stuck ❤️
Oh AND you must get yourself a pet! There is nothing like fur babies’ love 🥺❤️
Best guy friend sitting in the background waiting for you to see him but he didn’t realize that he was never your number one choice but a backup and even though for him he’ll take it, for you it will never be enough Ashley..long story short you will eventually leave him...you might love your fiancé but you were never really attracted...and the guy that comes along more attracted it’ll be natural for you to be tempted..love your channel
Though!!!
I want to let go of my ex. When he ignores my messages it makes me feel like I have said something wrong even tho I scrolled up and turned out I already said what I had to say. But on the other hand it makes me feel like I wanna convince that I would change but I also let him know that it’s not only me who did wrong in the relationship… why is my brain trying to make me expressing a lot of things
Your videos are litterally food for my soul right now!! Thank God for you bless you you have helped me so so much!! Much love to you😘
I gave up last week. I shouldn't have to fight for her love. I'm just taking a break from dating to rebuild my life and start over. Hopefully the right woman comes along.
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Just came across your videos today. Great insight! Really good stuff. Thank you
Thank you for this. I really needed to hear this. ❤
This helps alot. I always hold out for hope, we have to talk because of our children. I'm finding this so hard.
It’s just 17 years with someone is such a long time and we were really happy. I’m not able to accept this. I’m hanging on and it’s incredibly painful. I don’t know how to do this
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Always great content. Thank you, much love.
Thanks so much! And you’re very welcome ❤️❤️❤️
He’s with someone else..... He was very manipulative , verbally /emotionally abusive, and dishonest so I had to leave....
I had him blocked for months , but he was still reaching out but I didn’t answer... ....it was hell not talking to him and not having any closure....so I finally unblocked him hoping he would reach out , and we could maybe work things out or atleast have a conversation.... but he hasn’t reached out, all he does is block and unblock from time to time..... I don’t understand it... I don’t reach out to him at all.... but it feels like he’s just toying or punishing me.... I am still very deeply in love with him..... but he’s loving and cherishing someone else....so I won’t ever reach out to him...
But whatever this is , it’s working ....because i feel like I’m dying ...
Can anyone help me?..... please
Your content always resonates with my life♥️🤗
Yay! So happy to hear that! 😊❤️
Thanks needed to hear this
It hurts so fucking much, I want her back so much my heart is aching like someone stabs it every day. I know I have to come to terms with the fact that she doesn't want to be with me anymore, she did say after we broke up that this might've just been the wrong time, and that there was potential in the future. But in recent days that seems to have changed, she's already moving on with some other guy and she's completely cold with me, non responsive, ignoring me, etc. It hurts so fucking much when I gave her my whole heart and she still has it, I still love her a lot.
You're so helpful thank you.
Ashley thank u for this video. I needed this tonight. The last two nights I’ve been crying myself to bed 5am and 4Am. Tonight it’s 1:30 now.
When you said our ex gives us a sense of hope and still keeping back because of insecurity. That might be exactly what I needed to hear. My ex we broke up 6 yrs ago due to him being super insecure. I was not used to this type of behavior so I ended. I never got over it cuz I loved how we were together. I’ve been holding hope ur now he makes me feel like I’m just an option. But I think it’s bcuz I’m so independent. I thought maybe he wouldn’t be as insecure now since but ur right he is still insecure enhance all the mind games.
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When do you think is the right time to ask if they ever see reconciling the relationship?
Such a timely post! I am the person who is still being friends with ex and now I regret to agree to meet with him n his new date. I thought I have let it go though. I cannot stop blaming myself for postponing my healing process by this way.
So happy it was relevant for you! Ouch, that sounds painful 😖 I definitely don’t think meeting up with an ex and his new date is something you need to be doing! It’s not necessary or beneficial to put yourself through that ❤️
@@AshleyNord Thanks Ashley for replying! Sending hugs!
Good Job Ashley ! Have a great day ❤
Aw thank you!! You too ☺️❤️
My God She's GORGEOUS 😍 😍 I don't even care about my ex anymore now. I'm just stuck watching her......... videos. Anyone know if she's single? Lol
My ex send me a long messages of how he wants to fix our relationship and wanna come back to me when he’s ready while he has a new relationship one week after our break up with a girl I know :/
Tbh I was excited to received his messages but at the end of the day who he is choosing isn’t me but her.
Yikes! Talk about mixed messages 😖 this guy sounds like a total mess. He wants to have his cake and eat it too 🙄
You’re right, he’s not choosing you and his actions are speaking louder than his words here ❤️
@@AshleyNord harsh truth 😭
Really interesting video!!!
Thanks so much! ❤️😊
Good video blog, which really help me. The brutal truth is needed to be said. For me it has been just less than a month since I was dumped by my ex. The issue, my ex was a heavy drinker and had emotional trauma of the past. Now she has quickly moved on to another guy who wooed her behind my back. She could not say a bad word against me when I was dumped, so I walk away proud. Putting 5 years relationship in the past and now look ahead to the future.
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OUCH! But thank you for the video somehow it's reassuring too??? Lol!
Haha awww I’m sorry!! I knew this video was a bit of a brutal one 😬 I’m happy it was reassuring too though ❤️❤️
Block simply works as it helps u get off those hope one ll mesg again ..:) n breakup is painful but good for a better n normal life :p ...wait patienly, dont dive in hurry..surely get rite one :)
I agree! Blocking is often necessary, especially if you find yourself hoping or waiting for a message like you said!
Holding for three months, I am starting to get tired of the situation and thinking to move on for good.
Please make videos on how to let go someone, how to move on, how to heal ourselves. I'm trying to move on since 10 months and I'm unable to do so. Those past good memories keep running in my mind. I miss my ex alot. She's dating someone else now and doesn't give a fuck about me now. Still I'm not able to get that emotional stability within myself. I'm not able to handle all this though I'm trying my best to do so.
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this painful turmoil. As a person who has gone through a break up about 10 months ago from a 10 year relationship I can totally understand and sympathize with your pain. The way how I have gotten mostly over my ex I have been trying to connect with myself and thought of the break up as an opportunity for adventure and self discovery rather than an experience of loss. I encourage you to think about all the things you want to do and accomplish in your life and work towards getting them done. Also, don't be afraid to think outside the box and be creative. One thing that helped me connect with myself was an inspiration to write a romance novel and as I am still working on it I realized that I am able to connect with the wounded and darker side of myself. Additionally, through writing and creating a fantasy world I have learned stuff about myself and found what kind of partner I want in my life. I encourage you to find something that you enjoy and makes you calm. I found that our ability to move from an ex is mainly dependent on how we view the break up and how we view ourselves rather than what happened. Most of the time the reason why we have a hard time to let go of someone we love has nothing to do with the one we love but its because there is an issue within ourselves that we dont want to face. I encourage you to look at your life without your ex not as a life full of misery and loneliness but as an an opportunity to get to love yourself and adventure. You can now be the best person you always wanted to be and on this adventure of self discovery you can meet a partner who is better and more amazing than the one you have lost. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
Hi Pradhuman, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling emotionally. In addition to the incredible suggestions Marta has made here, I’ve discussed this topic a lot in past videos. I actually have a whole playlist called “the breakup diaries” with all kinds of videos related to this topic that you might find helpful when it comes to letting go ❤️
Thank you Ash... ❤👍
You’re so welcome ❤️❤️
this is the slap in the face i needed lol
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Another love story ended at 11:05
I just ended a 1-year relationship with someone I really loved & respected. It felt like he wasn't over his ex girlfriend of 11 years, he still kept their pictures in his phone even put it in a secured folder. Now I'm asking myself if he really did love me or was just using me to mend him & for his lustful needs. It really hurts like hell and I don't know how to cope yet. Hoping I'd feel better soon. Thanks for your videos.
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thank you for this words.I'm struggle now just yesterday she told me she love me she miss me,suddenly she said we need to brake for this person.it is painful for me.
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I genuinely need some advice. I’ve been with my now partner for 3 years. The story starts with myself. I’m 34 and was in an extremely toxic relationship prior to meeting my now girlfriend ( the relationship before her ) I was in that toxic relationship for 8 years we had kids a house the usual. The girl in question was very controlling when it came to sex and she was extremely adventurous with it as well public settings etc she would use sex as a currency and a reward scheme towards me. I became obsessed with the crazy and dirty sometimes questionable sex with her. Even though it was completely toxic. There was a lot of cheating and fighting and stuff as well. Anyway we finished but I was so hung up on losing my family unit and truth be told I struggled to let go of the madness that she made normal. On top of that I’ve been diagnosed with a personality disorder and a paranoia disorder as well as depression and suicidal tendencies. I struggle in public situations I struggle to make friends and truthfully I’m a pretty lonely guy. ( what’s got me by in life is I’ve always had looks so somehow even despite my flaws life ticked over. ) this is why I was always in a relationship to prevent loneliness. Anyway once that relationship finished I started a new job and met a new girl. ( the new girl was pregnant with another man’s kid but it wasn’t shady or anything they had a 1 night stand on 2 occasions drunk and had 2 kids but had no real relationship) so me and this new girl really hit it off like I’ve never hit it off before. Everything seemed so natural and honestly I fell in love with her so fast ( it wasn’t intended nor have I ever did this in the past ) for the first 4 weeks of my new relationship I started to feel confused. She would show me so much attention via messages and calls and in work but the second it was just us she would for example sit at the opposite side of the couch or we went 3 weeks without kissing etc was really strange. I asked her over and over again what’s wrong and are we ever going to kiss and that it was a bit confusing for me. She replied she was shy around me which is a fair response. But then I found out before me she had a core couple of guys she would sleep with when she was drunk and bored at the weekend. ( this is where my diagnoses comes in ) my head just couldn’t work out how she could sleep with random dudes whether she knew them or not but she wouldn’t come near me. So I allowed my head to take this information and create a situation I just sort of backed off a little. When I did this I have to be honest I still allowed around 6 girls to continue texting me. 1 being my ex and a few who fancied me. Later I found out this also made her distant. So it seemed we both just didn’t have communication or atleast understanding and fear. Fast forward in the relationship I ended up allowing my ex to manipulate me with sex and the promise of family life. ( I’m not blaming anyone except myself at the end of the day regardless of reasons or fuel or excuses or diagnoses it’s my fault ) anyway this fling behind my partners back wasn’t purely for sex I was genuinely upset and confused and couldn’t accept someone being in my kids life and living the life I was supposed to have with my ex. It was strange because my now partner was the one. Like I knew it from the second I laid eyes on her. My problem was my childhood was filled with let downs trauma and break ups and very little care. And my new partner genuinely scared me because I had never felt so strong about someone and at the same time I have never been so confused. Long story short I eventually told my partner about the situation and I told her I was scared to be hurt again and my ex was very good at controlling and manipulating me and that I blame myself and I was sorry and if she could forgive me I’d do anything to fight for her. And to change everything ugly about myself and also seek medical help. I also want to say she was pregnant during my infidelity and she would have did anything for me she really would have. And everytime she brought it up because she had an idea I would lie and call her crazy. ( I was ashamed and embarrassed but admittedly I didn’t end the fling till months later ) I can’t even explain my thought process on 1 hand I felt totally ashamed and disgusted in myself but on the other hand I had totally disassociated. I couldn’t explain it. I’d go home crying from my fling but when I was there it just felt like family life. I genuinely regret it because it hurt someone who actually cared about me. She was the first person to ever want me for me and not a transactional situation. But for two years I’ve poured my heart and soul into my new relationship she chose to stay even though I told her to leave. I faced all my demons I got professional help and I’ve not told a lie for two years. Problem is she just couldn’t forget or forgive. This once beautiful hearted girl turned nasty and angry and hateful and filled with venom. Even in situations that had nothing to do with me she would take it out on me and be really really cruel and nasty. She would shout at me or disrespect me whenever she felt like it and she’d shut me down if I ever tried to talk. She refused all professional help like relationship counselling etc. and she’d break up with me randomly whenever she felt like it. To my knowledge she’s never ever did anything shady it’s just not in her heart. Fast forward to this week. She wanted to do a shift at work but neither me or her mum could look after the kids and she’s blew up at me even though I had work. She blew up at me because her mum sed no and she was panicking about birthdays and Christmas I tried to calm her down and reassure her everything will work out. But she flipped on me and called the relationship off and told me she hates me and can’t forget what I did 2 years ago. She doesn’t ever ask how I am and she never really talks about anything emotional. She’s the type to bottle it all up I’ve tried begging I’ve tried fighting for her I’ve tried not giving up I’m out of options. I know I’ve broken this girl but I really have tried so hard for 2 years to make her happy and fix things. To the point I actually don’t really apose her and she gets her way 99% of the time. In all honestly this isn’t a fleeting moment or a trauma bond I genuinely adore this girl and for once over these past two years I’ve really worked hard on myself and become a genuine person and during this time I g realised just how much I loved her and wanted to make it work. Does anyone have any advice. How do I get threw to her how can I make this work
You are very attractive. Ty for video
True!!
week one and second break up w the guy, i feel so stupid letting him back the first time. i highly doubt he'll come back this time but if he does nah, i dont wanna go through this pain again
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Please don’t feel stupid ❤️ beating yourself up won’t help you. Try your best to show yourself some grace and understanding.
I’m needing to let go. But I’ve been told I won’t be able to until I find my worth. HOW DO YOU FIND SELF WORTH? How do you go about it. My mind is so scattered I can’t even. Keep s straight thought. Please help with a guidance of starting the second worth journey. Cus I keep falling back into traps of my ex and his abusive ways.
I hear you ❤️ I know how hard this is. Have you watched any of my other videos by any chance? Particularly the one on self love! I think you may find it helpful ☺️
My ex is giving me mixed signals and playing games I love her so much and don’t know what to do. She won’t let go of the past says she is in love with me but can’t be with me right now ? I’m so confused? Thoughts advice?
So tough to deal with. 7 months post BU.. 9 year friendship.. 5 years + as roomies.. 3m5 years dating... and saw she is with someone else now. Tough.
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I would like to know more about seperation when you have kids, and they talk about us getting back together but I don't think she wants this.
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@@asphaltfernandez3995 he helped me too. Thank you Fernandez. Couldn’t believe I can get back my ex. I owe you
thank you i left him! all he does is hurt me! i can move on
I’m so proud of you for leaving a relationship that was no longer serving you! You deserve so much more ❤️
damn i gota ex named ashlee🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏾♂️😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ah man! It’s such a common name too 😬
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thank you so much i should talk to him haha
Still struggling how to keep move forward with my ex. But the least i can do is do not communicate with him or beg. But i always look his social media :(
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If they haven’t called or texted in months but you still love them, Would it be ok to send a message letting them know how they made you feel as a way of getting your own closure ? Or is that the wrong thing to do ..., or would it come off desperate or pathetic?......
I’m only asking because I just don’t want to do anything that will result in more pain.... I’m already in far more pain than I can bear as it is .....
Can anyone help?...., please ??
I have been there, I suggest you to stay in your own safe boundaries. I was the one who always texted my Ex to break the frequent no contact/ghosting periods from him, it turned out to be so unworthy. The push-pull dynamic, on/off, breadcrumbs, you name it, I have seen it all! I got no closure from him, but I gradually learnt that I am my best bet to give myself the deserving closure and so I ended it after suffocating myself for 1.5 year. If your person is putting in some effort to get things working by being transparent with you, then sure you can try, if not, please save yourself from inviting the hurt. I understand that you are afraid of the consequences from either of the moves, but at the end, it is far better to let go of a connection that is only draining you in any way and to arrive at this, you will have to be patient with yourself, ask the right questions to that person, be clear on your intentions, understand both of your priorities and then evaluate how you want to proceed, do not hurry! Also, please don't ignore ANY red flags at any point in the relationship, no matter how smooth it seems to be.. My Ex was only consistent in telling me to not have any hopes on him since the beginning of the connection, guess what, he told me the same when I confronted him before ending it.. Nobody deserves to be treated like this..
@@__rmk__9360
Thank you for taking the time to respond to me..... perhaps you are right and I will
Say nothing and keep to myself ..... my heart breaks every single day without hearing from him.... and it’s been Months of him being silent ....so I guess I have no choice but to leave it alone....
The pain is crippling......but If he is happy without me , so be it
@Sheena Lawrence I understand.. please trust that it is manageable & gradually you will find yourself not affected by it anymore if you start introspecting & pursuing your other interests. I have recently learnt that motivation won't stay for long except to give a kick start, but habits help us in the long run..! So, I have been trying to monitor my professional and personal tasks at least on alternate days, I do keep getting distracted, check my phone, unblock & block that contact again, but I think I am comfortable enough with myself to let that reel of thoughts and heat flow through and then I do the self-talk in my head to focus back on my tasks that really need me to work on! I am struggling, but I know that I am doing myself a favor by trying to stick to what really matters to me in my life.. it takes time, so it is important to be gentle & patient with ourselves..
I am not a certified professional in this subject, but here's what is slowly working for me.. that is to think of all the worst possible cases, evaluate the pros and cons.. if you do so, you might probably feel relieved in some way, because our subconscious mind would actually prepare us with something uplifting or protecting in some way, it again depends on how you have been treating yourself though.. but it works, because in my case, I realized that it's not that bad as I have hallucinated it to be for having to end things.. sure I had the experiences help me to feel confident after this thought process and I am sure you will only get mentally stronger if you do so..
Also, count your blessings! This is very important! It could be anything from you feeling glad to have or be something & then to someone recognizing you for being helpful or anything.. Identify some phrases (from external sources or coming up with something by yourself) that make you feel confident & reassuring, then keep repeating those to yourself as many times as possible, every single day.. it does wonders in rewiring our minds for the higher good of ourselves..!
Believe in yourself, trust your journey, I know its overwhelming & scary, but we all have the capabilities to withstand, grow and keep rising to higher levels. I feel that there is no loss in any worst case scenario as long as we capture & learn the lessons (BTW, they keep recurring until we learn). Don't worry, you are not alone, everything you are undergoing is valid, just focus inwards, am sure things will get better.. Take care!
@@alwayslove6607
You should be ashamed of yourself trying to profit off of people’s pain.... horrible .... deplorable
UGH those spammers are the absolute worst aren’t they!! I’ve blocked every keyboard they use and they still find a way to spam my comments 🤬 I’ve reported her and removed her comments.
Anyway, I couldn’t agree more with RMK’s replies here. Personally, I don’t think involving your ex in your closure process is necessary. That being said, I can’t say what the right or wrong choice for you is here. Have you watched my last video about finding closure by any chance? I talk about this exact topic in detail ❤️
My ex is 3 mos pregnant after leaving jan 2 , but she still posting negativity about me.. she keep pushing the issue thats its my fault coz im doing nothing in my annulment.. but im still in no contact
Just to clarify, are you saying she’s pregnant with your child?
@@AshleyNord no maam, with the rebound guy,, i dnt know what happen,, suddenly she leave me, she always want to have a baby with me to get my whole attention to her, she dont want me to be with my friends and she get mad when im happy,,
Ohhh got it! Well, if she’s expecting a child with someone else I hope she matures and focuses on the life she is bringing into the world ❤️
@@AshleyNord but she keeps stalking my fB and keep posting bad words about me,, i ignore her and continue with my life, i think shes a narcissist
@@AshleyNord she always want attention on social media,, weve been in relation for 5 yrs and all i do is to give her the best experience in travel and photos as we go on, and suddenly she stop loving me when i lost goos skedule on my job due to pandemic
Is it fine to get in touch with your ex when you were pregnant ? but he has a new gf
Are you saying that you’re pregnant? Specifically, is this your ex’s child?
Heyyy girl, you can't let anything come between you and your lover not even when you're pregnant.
i know of a man who can help you get back your ex without any delay in less than 24 hours
i just got mine back so am recommending him to you now for you to get back your happiness.
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I told my ex how i felt and found out he’s currently dating another person and out of respect i just told him how i felt and I’m moving forward in my life because he’s is dating someone else and I’d want the same respect.I told him i still have my feelings for him and that doesn’t have to question how i feel.But then he said we’ll probably be together in the end.Then later said he doesn’t know the future and he’s happy rn but he thinks we might end up together again and idk what to do
How do you do it though. How do you let go.
You said how you waited around for something from your ex, but how the hell do you let go of that wish when you know it’s likely not going to come.
8 years together, she moved on within a month with someone else. There are not words to describe how I’m feeling beyond devastated, crushed, heartbroken, absolutely lost all will to live.
So how do you truly get through this.
how you feeling now?
My ex is responsive and then goes silent but without fail looks at every single one of my Instagram stories! She is seeing some idiot too. If she wants nothing to do with me why doesn’t she just fucking remove me from her life and stop watching my social media!
Thanks
Thank you, much needed.
My ex husband moved out a year ago. He is engaged and building house together with his fiance. And i still haven't let go him.. So stupid and sad
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When they replaced you a month later after 7 years together and acted like u never existed to them.... Some people don't deserve love :(
I’m so sorry you’re going through this ❤️😔 sending you so much love!
This sounds like either a rebound relationship or you were with someone who is a narcissist.