Raw Truths for Divorced Dads | Part 3 | Iman Cave with Sh. Abdullah Oduro
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- What’s going to happen to my life after divorce? How will it affect my relationship with my children? In what ways will it impact my finances? Join us for the final part of this special Iman Cave deep-dive into divorce where Sh. Abdullah Oduro, joined by family and divorce attorney Naveed Husain and licensed marriage and family therapist Usman Mughni, discuss the Islamic and legal rights a man has in divorce.
Usman Mughni, licensensed marriage and family therapist: www.instagram....
Naveed Husain, divorce attorney:
www.instagram....
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My ex husband took all my 3 children as he said they are his progeny and left me alone without any of them ,I devastated as I married a man from western culture and I'm Asian,
I cried and beg him to give me our only son not because he is son but because he is just 3 yrs old and need motherly care .
Its been 9 years since I see my kids in person and Allah knows my feelings, suffering and my pain
So sorry sister. May Allah reunite you with your children
Assalam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh. I can feel your pain to not see your kids. May Allah makes easy for you.
@@mariamnjie6312 ammin and jazakallah khair for the dua
@@carinebizindavyi9013 waalaikumsalam and jazakallah khair for the empathy and hope no one in this kind of the situation
@@carinebizindavyi9013 ammin and jazakallah khair
I am a sister who watched the first two parts of the series and I wanted to thank you. It's sad to say but in today's online "Muslim" environment, there are very few examples of Muslim men who discuss any kind of gender issues without constantly criticizing women, dismissing our feelings and humanity, or trying to get us to "understand" male nature in a way that's repulsive and heartbreaking. It's great to see examples of practicing Muslim men having thoughtful conversations with fairness, decency, and akhlaq. Men who actually are recognizable as our ikhwa and not those who have pitted us against each other as enemies for clicks.
Exactly!!
Just say you like compassionate imams and imams and brothers who sugar coat things. Nowadays mostly musky women are the problem in 99 percent cases so yes we will call hem out and they can cry about it
May Allah SWT grant ease to everyone who is experiencing a difficult situation and encompass them in His Mercy. Ameen.
I didnt see how deep this was until this topic and their various angle. Particularly from someone that has lived it, i feel sad. May Allah grant everyone going through this complete healing
Im a divorced dad for 1 and a half year now. Sheikh Abdullah seems very shock when he knows that on average we only see our children on weekend every 2 weeks, which for me its true. It even comes to i didnt see my daughter for one month and more. Nevertheless i text my ex every week, asking if i can see my daughter. After that i leave to Allah if she even want to answer my request, most of the time she left it at read
I love the point about pre nups, and about how sometimes families getting involved can make the matters worse. If you are separating it can be done without lawyers, courts and extended family members (one or two are enough to deal with everything for both of you - too many people and too many opinions).
THANK YOU SK FOR RECOMMENDING THIS CHANNEL...
I'LL WAIT FOR YOU.. FOREVER.. FOREVER... FOREVER....
The bit they haven’t addressed when discussing a man wanting respect.. if the wife earns more then you and is helping with your responsibilities such as paying for bills or lifestyle then the man should be man enough to also help with responsibilities of the house , cleaning, cooking etc etc .. this is the big Asian and Arab families in particular forget. Great your daughters educated and can help provide for the family, but ur son has only learnt to have a job and is not helping the family unit in any other way - that’s when women lose respect for men when they feel I can do what ur doing plus some so what are u contributing?
Its Sunnah for a man to help around the house. Doesn't matter if the wife is working or not.
If the wife earns more than the man, then she will lose respect for him just from that over time
I wish there would be a woman who could join this important topic. But thank you for not silencing these issues.
Have Taqwa of Allah
JUDGES MAKE JUDGEMENTS BASED ON BALANCE OF PROBABILITY TO SAY ABUSE TO PLACE. IM HAPPY TO COME ON A PODCAST
Salaam brother I would like you to discuss joint family system. As in UK we have very big problem.
Brothers Domestic Abuse claims DO NOT NEED TO BE PROVEN. this is the problem. LIES ARE ENCOURAGED.
I feel like you shouldn’t get married until you have a basic understanding of Islam 🤦🏽♀️
Yeah now Muslimah will tell practicing knowledgeable men what we should do or not
Assalaamu alaykum. It's sad that Brother Abdullah Oduro, who has a degree in Islamic Studies, did not comment at all about the legitimacy of child support and alimony payments regarding Muslim divorce in Western countries. Many people have said the division of property and payments after divorce is completely not Islamic and not part of the Islamic Law.
Why not one word from Abdullah Oduro? Are you afraid to lose or offend your feminine audience?
In my case it was ex husbands father that made things worse with his toxic Indian masculinity .. and then my ex dragged things out because he didn’t want our joint assets acquired after marriage and paid largely by me while he studied and I worked to be separated 5050 .. he was just stupid and egotistic .. then years later he sent me an apology letter after he’d broken all trust and relations with the kids too
Oh and another toxic trait of Muslim men during divorce is when they are fine to go through the legal divorce but refuse the Islamic divorce to keep the woman bound - my ex tried this but luckily my local shariah council was amazing and granted the divorce
Rabbibni li indaka baytan fil Jannah :
رَبِّ ابْنِ لِي عِنْدَكَ بَيْتًا فِي الْجَنَّةِ
“My Lord, build for me near You a house in Paradise.” (Quran 66:11) 🤍
Allahumma Aamen 🤲
Ya Rabbal Alamen 🤲
Marry in peace and if separating is the best thing then that can be done amicably too. Try not to be out to get the other party and even is the state grants you more than what is due to you (islamically) then you should return it. Allah swt will repay you in ways you cannot imagine. Keep your intentions clean and your faith in Allah strong.
It’s only fair that if you grew up in a stable home with 2 parents, you should offer the same for your own kids, most marriages are workable- it takes a LOT of patience but you gotta see it through, eventually you get harmony
Ameen 🤲❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
On the Day of Judgement none of this will matter get a reality check sheesh
The reality check for you is that , the way you handled all of it will definitely matter!
@@nissa4644solution is simple - don't get married 🙂
Get a prenuo and don't marry mulimahs legally
Jzk for having me and may Allah reward everyone involved in producing this series and episode.
As Salaam Aleykum dear brothers. I live in Delaware and looking for an EEO lawyer. If anyone can help me I will appreciate it. Thanks
jazakAllah brother, such an informative session by you. I learn about pre Nup and it's value before marriage. Kindly do share your email if it's okay to you.
As an adult who was a teenager when my parents split and ultimately divorced, I can attest that the sadness and trauma lasts for a very long time. If you have to divorce, put your ego aside and focus on what's right for the children. The children need their parents good influence and to only hear good come from you about the other. Leave the ego aside for the sake of the kids present and future. May Allah swt bless everyone and guide our behavior because this life is not easy. ❤
My narcissist husband has been abusing me in every possible way for years. He cheated on me with various women, including underage girls. He sexually abused my 14 year old sister and tried to cheat on me with my other sister (who was pregnant with twins at the time) when I was in the next room with his child. I couldn't believe that narcissists are evil until I experienced it. The most dangerous thing is to have a religious narcissist partner who manipulates you through religion. I wish there was more talk about narcissism in Islam, because unfortunately it has become a global problem
In Islam?
These are cultural problems many different households are facing.
And the sad part is these cultures we have , we got from the different over time, mainly colonialism.
Islam is perfect, Muslims are not.
And those that fear Allah swt will not oppress others, they may sin, but will aways run away from oppressing others .
Allah swt forgives. However, people are petty.
Please In sha Allah listen Dr Ramani's UA-cam channel and read her new book: It's not you. And also there is an other UA-cam Channel, called Aafiyah Healing and some videos about this issue. May AllAh grant you a way out and reward you for your patience. (Try to record him as proof. And maybe your time will come when it will help) I hear you sis
Is there no-one that can help you in your current situation or you can ask someone or community help? It sounds VERY serious and something needs to be done immediately.
@@sammusa1415 blaming the victim will not help her, but only you to feel better about yourself. All narcisisst will do “love bombing” at first, no one would know their true colour just untill much later. May Allah never give you or anyone else a test like this. But please try to lift the spirit for someone who is already feel shame, blaming herself, and feels down. Do not kick her even more. It is not islamic in anyway. May Allah guide us all
Sorry to hear that. We live in crazy times and there is just as many Muslim women who do the same unfortunately
You should talk about the life and affect of the children with no mother. They are mostly emotionless and a whole lot of mental illness boiling.
In my case it was ex husbands father that made things worse with his toxic Indian masculinity .. and then my ex dragged things out because he didn’t want our joint assets acquired after marriage and paid largely by me while he studied and I worked to be separated 5050 .. he was just stupid and egotistic .. then years later he sent me an apology letter after he’d broken all trust and relations with the kids too
Oh and another toxic trait of Muslim men during divorce is when they are fine to go through the legal divorce but refuse the Islamic divorce to keep the woman bound - my ex tried this but luckily my local shariah council was amazing and granted the divorce
Try not to speak for all Muslim men, dear..
Case in point, the shariah councillors.
Instead , say those that don't fear thier maker, which in large you can contribute to his parents especially the mother.
You're making the same mistake as the toxic men and generalizing all men
Whatever is keep your head on the shoulder and walk out of it as a proudly man can be…..I’ve gone through it with a lot a pain for so many years….the kids will grow faster than you’d imagine and if you are responsible; definitely the kids will come back to you
True
This was so good masha’Allah. Very mature mindsets and islamically inclined. May Allah reward these brothers for providing this content and guidance for people who are getting married, married, divorcing, or divorced.
I am married and we are both striving to do the right things by our daughter and raise her correctly but still, every day I pray that God protects her from our parenting mistakes. I don’t want to diminish all the light and joy that God gave her by doing the wrong actions towards her or in front of her. May God guide us all, by becoming parents we are responsible for physical and emotional and spiritual well being of a whole human being.
It's very refreshing to see conversations about Islamic divorce finally taking place at the mainstream level, al-hamdu lillah. Kudos to Yaqin for taking the initiative.
One administrative criticism: nice to shout-out the names and contact information of conversation participants, though better (and not much harder) to include links to them and their services in the video description.
Hearing to this... is just sad to know how many divorces there are ....and how many couples and families are breaking apart. This is terrible. I myself going throught hardship with my spouse. He has an affair with a woman and she is convincing him and playing with him as a puppet... SubhanAllah i never seen a man getting so controlled... may Allah guide him.
I can forgive him and I want him to back to his senses for the wellness of our children and because before this affair all was fine. May Allah guide every spouse to the right path again.
Sad to see how little women have respect towards themselves. It’s not just the other woman to blame for Zina. Your husband is married to you. He is cheating and doing Zina. Think wise for ur own sake and ur children to continue a marriage with a weak man. May Allah guide u
@@u.g.198How do you see her only blaming the woman?
This sister shared her sadness with us; please be gentle with your words towards her even if you don't agree with her stance.
Allahu Alam.
What if divorce taught your children a better lesson? What if it allowed them to see their parents in healthier relationships? Don’t assume so easily that staying together is the answer for your kids. Allah SWT knows best and has made divorce an option for a reason.
Allahumma Aamen 🤲
@@zumeraaaI didn't read that in the comment
Once again great discussion.
As a Muslim woman, I love and appreciate the perspectives of Muslim men on these issues.
Even if u have to divorce do not transgress the limit of Allah. Many muslimahs who divorce unjustly take half of the house and money while they did not earned it. At that time greed takes over. Fear Allah sisters as Allah says do not devour ones wealth unjustly. How will she answer to Allah when the husband will take back his rights in the day of judgement. It's a major sin, and many muslimahs fall into this trap
How about when the father doesn’t care about the kids at all? My soon to be ex wudnt care if he ever saw our kids or not but am I wrong to encourage my children to see him although kids dnt want to? Please answer
excellent episode, jazakum Allah khair
Mehr should always be paid before the marriage is consummated, not as a debt, there is no valid Nikkah without a mehr don’t know where these men get this idea from
Some food for thought: What we call the guardianship is always interpreted by most scholars as a kind of law of nature, a basic pillar of marriage in Islam. What if the verse in the Quran was simply a description of the status quo at that time and not necessarily a must for all times. Because we also have the verses that describe men and women as equal partners and protectors or as garments for one another. Wa Allahu aalem.
The title needs to be changed because it’s not only on Divorced Dads 34:20
I think they respectfully added sisters to not hurt our feelings but initially they wanted this to be for dads 😅
JazakAllahu khair for this topic. I'm surprised no other muslim speaker spoke about this in such detail! BaarakAllah feekum. We'd love to hear about stepparenting and coparenting. Nobody talks about this
Where is part one and 2 please? Can’t find it, please link here on this video Jaz Khairan
Hmmm 😞 amazing effort sir thanks may Almighty Allah bless you and yaqeen team always and protect all of you always 🤲 all the best 👌👍👌♥️♥️♥️
Fighting over money or custody pretty much always does more harm to the kids than accepting a raw deal where you don't get what you want or even what you are Islamically entitled to.
Assalamualaikum ❤
Waalaikum Salam warahmatullah wabarakatu
Y’all need to seek refuge making statements of taking the man for all he got.
Who wants to get married after hearing this...
😂 exactly.
This is such a touchy subject and I appreciate you tackling it. I received a call from a close sister who had watched the series and she was very upset. She felt that woman were presented as narcissist . I understood where she was coming from but the caption reads”Raw Truths for Divorced Dads”. I k ow this is the man cave but woman watch too, we want to understand and there is little guidance for the umma out there without going to counseling. I humbly ask that in discussions like this where it involves all can it be more of an Umma Cave than a man cave? It just upset me to hear my dear sweet sister so upset. I personally understand where you are coming from and Thank you and Allah for bringing understanding and comfort to so many. May Allah continue to bless your message😊🙏
Ameen!
If I may, I wanted to give my two cents on the sister's concerns. The video isn't meant to portray women in any particular way, whether evil or narcissistic or whatever. The intention isn't to bring women down, but to uplift men. This is a conversation that is intended for men and intended to offer them support and guidance in an area of life where they are too often vilinized and have little direction on where to go. Do women also suffer from a lot of this? Of course. And that would be an important conversation to have. But just because that would be an important conversation to have doesn't mean that the conversation in this video is any less important. Really, it's critical that we have these dedicated spaces for men and I think it would be a watering down of the message if it were to be a general video for both sides. It's important that women have their spaces as well. It's easy to understand why that's good, so why not for men? Especially in our time, where we are starting to understand the critical role that fathers play, all while the family structures are being broken and men aren't allowed to be men. The discussions between men and women on these issues are important. But it's also important to keep this space intentionally about men. Otherwise it would be an insult to this series and we would be falling into the same issues that got us here to begin with. Jazakallah khair, may Allah reward u and the sister.
Divorce is a bad thing if the couple has kids.