for people who dont understand: imagine if multiple people a day came up to you asking about your genitals, or your medications you take. co workers. people youre trying to keep a professional relationships with.
To everyone saying that he would be outed for having UA-cam videos: The reason he was outed was because some girl knew him from high school. Not because of his videos. He also went out of his way to go by a different name which isn't directly associated with his social media.
People will know from the sloping shoulders, non existent Adam’s apple, small hands, pointer finger, jaw, flat forehead, chubby cheeks, small neck, pointy chin, small humerus bone, etc. Just be honest, life goes much better when you don’t try to deceive people.
@@ilovejesus6762 What do you mean with "deceive"? He's a trans man. A trans man is a man. That's what he's presenting as. Especially at work nobody should be caring about gender-details, like being trans. Imagine people at work asking about your penis size / how often you menstruate, sexual preferences, etc. It's completely out of context. As to his physical appearance, I'm quite sure nobody will recognize him as trans. As a trans person I'd have problems identifying him and that's saying something. You're just being hateful making up (or exaggerating) that detailed list of supposed shortcomings. Doesn't matter either way, point being that being trans is valid, not a "deception" and it's nobody's business, especially at work.
I think you're mad that you're attracted to him. Life also get's better when you're not a little bitch spreading falsified views of your 'God' You think this is what he'd want? Some sweaty bible thumper harassing people and living the way you are? If there's a hell you're definitely going there. But he doesn't exist, so you're just an awful person spreading awful ideas.
@@ilovejesus6762 Not all cis men have a prominent Adam's apple. Also, men and women BOTH have Adam's apples (cis women's are just usually smaller), so you really just sound stupid.
This is exactly why I don't want to come out to my classmates. People nowdays just tend to tell everything they know and that what it makes so hard to be honest to them.
im mad this happened man, why do some cis people think they have the right to tell others that someone is trans? it's not their business to tell at all and that shit could cause bad things to go down if you worked with crazy transphobes. hopefully things turn out well for you though from here on out
@@lorettasanchez1184Not how society works, dipshit. If it makes you uncomfortable, that is purely a you problem that you need to work out. Trans people have the legal right to be in public spaces, whether you like it or not, fascist.
This is actually really helpful for me, thank you. I have figured out that someone I work with is trans and didn't know what to do about it. Now I know. Don't do anything, just go about business as usual.
@Ricci Hardow This is a very old comment, and I don't know what you hope to achieve by replying this. You must know that most likely a lot would have changed in five years. Sorry for not always knowing the right thing to do or say. All I can do is lead with kindness and compassion and try to learn as much as I can. I suggest looking into "emotional correctness", it might help you see the issue differently.
I am (unfortunately) completely out at college, people don't talk to me very often, but I've heard what they say. I don' have any kind privacy there; like, I had top surgery but I didn't tell anyone, I only had to say to a teacher that I couldn't make the exam because I was getting a surgery; and know, for the entire college I had "THE SURGERY" Is a little bit of privacy to much to ask?
hey ty, I'm actually crying, because that is just so unfair and rude of them, that's so unprofessional of the people involved, I can't believe they were asking anatomy, like you generally just don't do that to anyone unless your a creep. uhhh crying, sorry I'm a sensitive person, the triggered dysphoria, oh man, that's just heart breaking, hopefully your future jobs they can maintain professionalism. I'm proud of you for being so strong to actually work another two weeks. just keep being you, your awesome! I'm ftm but uh not transitioned. so I really understand. stay strong! your videos really inspire me so Thank you for coming onto UA-cam! hopefully one day trans will just be a tick box and people won't have to freak out over nothing.
I was working at Lowes and i got physically attacked by a coworker because im Trans, I didnt tell anyone and someone found out because they knew my sister and they told someone and they told someone else and it turned into this huge thing. So i get your fear. I feel it too. I think most of us do at some point, because you are right it can be very dangerous. Ive been stabbed because people in my college found out. anyone that gives you shit about quitting a job thats not safe can live a day in your shoes and feel that fear.
I rarely comment of videos, but I'm very compelled to say this. As a transman, I can relate to your feelings 100%. I've been outed at work too and it is maddening.The fact of the matter is that you're a remarkable, beautiful human being, and while this experience was painful, I see that more positivity likely came from it. You opened these people's eyes in ways you probably never would have believed. I'm sure many at work admired your strength to pursue happiness and peace of mind. Truly you were an example of the courage and willpower it takes to change ones life, even when it seems impossible. It may have even swayed them to reexamine the roots of their prejudices. So I believe the fact that many knew was a blessing in disguise. Just another perspective. You are a very special person who is already changing the world!
This just happened to me yesterday. Someone from HS era recognized me, despite me being a year+ into my transition and told my other coworkers "he has girl parts" and I was asked a bunch of private questions last night during my closing shift and got very uncomfortable. But I've only been there for two weeks and I don't know if it's worth leaving over, if I should ignore it. It's such a sucky situation.
unfortunately, Ty, in small towns, gossip spreads like wildfire. I know how it feels to be outed and it sucks, especially since I wasn't ready to come out. Adults found out and approached my parents about it, saying that they felt that their kids were in danger because of me and I faced a lot of harrassment over it. I hope things go better for you and that people lay off of it, and I hope that you stay safe.
aw man i relate to this. i've only told 6 people about my sexuality and one of the people was because she asked if me and a girl were dating and i said yes but she had to keep it a secret bc i don't wanna be outed and she calls herself an intersectional feminist so i thought she really would keep the secret but she didn't. she told her whole group of friends and those friends told other friends and now probably 20+ people know without me telling them :-) i found this out because that one girl i told's friend's friend's friend's friend was my gf's sister and she asked about us and her sister didnt know so she was confused. i would like to be open about my sexuality but i am terrified of my mom finding out so i prefer staying closeted. the whole thing just made me really upset bc the girl i told lives a street away from me. i really feel for you and anyone who's gone through something similar.
Honestly why do people care? Unless your sleeping with someone why do you care what anyone has or doesn't? I don't get it. Can't we all just leave people alone
If they're just curious and want to learn more about the topic, they can just politely ask the person. That's completely okay if the person is okay with it. But outing someone without telling them and/or against their will and then making fun of them or harassing them is absolutely not okay.
Ash Wolf it’s not “mimicking” it’s transitioning, and even if people are curious there’s a lot of things about people you could be curious about but that doesn’t mean you have the right to know if that person doesn’t want you to know
I totally feel you man. This exact thing happened when I started at a new school "stealth". One person found my UA-cam and more and more people spread it around to the point where I had to delete the channel I posted trans related vids on. It just sucks because its nearly impossible to have privacy when you are trans.
Ty, ever thought about moving to a more liberal State? I know it's not ideal and it shouldn't be something you should have to do, but you also shouldn't have to deal with these sorts of things. Even though it's nice to live near your family, you could end up having a much more peacful and quiet life in another place.
+Ty Turner Hi Tyler. I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you! I live in South Carolina, so I know what you mean about the confederate flag thing. I'm glad to see you have a great outlook on the whole thing. Video on!
+Melaka Fray I agree. I moved to Canada and a lot more comfortable here. I miss my family but i am much happier. People here i feel respect each other and respect each other's privacy. :)
I *totally* understand how you feel, Ty. I had a really scary experience the other day at the weight room at my community college. I'm pre-t and I bind heavily but I have a large chest so it doesn't help that much so people generally assume I'm a butch lesbian or something, and my high voice doesn't help either. So anyway, I was changing in the men's bathroom which is a single bathroom, and the lock doesn't work so I had my back up against the door to try to keep it shut, but while my shirt and binder were partially up, someone tried to open the door. There's a mirror directly across from the door so I think they saw my reflection in the mirror and now I'm afraid to go back there because there are some guys that have been giving me weird looks and I don't know if I could be put in a dangerous situation or not. So, I can definitely empathize with you. I hope everything goes okay and no one else invades your privacy. Good luck, Ty. - Emmett
Stay strong Ty & never let anyone get you down. I know exactly how you feel since I live in a small town and everyone at my work knew everything about me, but I never let their words get to me. You're an amazing man & I know you will continue to do great things! Thank you for being such an inspiration & I really enjoy all of your videos! If you ever want to talk I'm here :)
I'm sorry that happened to you. You have helped so many people with a lot in their lives and I hope the best for you. Keep doing great things. You are amazing!
hope your week improved from this! im also stealth at work and its super fucking hard at times! but i respect you for doing it and i feel sorry for you getting outed! sending peace and love man. stay strong!
Oh,Ty I am so sorry for that :( so sorry you have to deal with that :( I tottaly feel you,I've been in a very similar situation...I know how uncomfortable and frustrated that is. You just wanna escape from your own skin. Just don't leave us,please,keep making videos,you rock! ;) And I'm happy for your work at dad's :)
That whole thing sounds very stressful, I'm glad you pulled through and obviously made the right decision. I hope you're happy with the position you're currently in now and if you sorta still aren't then I hope you get to where you want to be! I would also like to thank you for being such an inspiration to me because without you I would probably be dead right now. I was spiraling out of control searching many things to try to figure out what was wrong with me and my depression was getting worse and I think I knew but of course I was rejecting it and then I found your videos and honestly watched every one I could. It has helped me so much and now I'm beginning to go through the transition and it has been making me very happy and I have you to thank. :) I will forever be a supporter of you. Favorite youtuber no doubt.
I'm really sorry that happened to you. I think it's really shitty of people to go around and dig stuff up about you. I'm just glad you got yourself out of that situation, and I hope you don't have to deal with that again. I just want to say thank you for putting your life and experiences out on you tube because it really does help people. Thanks for being awesome and stay safe
I really like and enjoy your videos! also I totally unterstand that talking on youtube is totally different to narrow minded people in real life who would never find out if there wasn't gossip going around. you've achieved so much, keep it up don't let anybody take you down!
People feed off drama. Any drama, to make there life's fun! Even as a human being, watching this and hearing what you have to say.You're a strong person to be staying there for that long. Trusting people is a difficult thing. I should have to think who I can trust but there is always that one person! love watching ur videos, can't believe how successful you are! I will always be by your side. x
Thats so fucked !! U shudnt have had to go threw that man , keep your head high and keep moving forward . rember you are an inspiration to people so people who are using ur videos for selfish reasons is not cool ! I could only imagine how that felt to be outed at work like that.
Wow...so sorry that all happened. Just goes to show how some people can't handle keeping things to themselves and thinking about how the other person is affected.
+Ty Turner Dude, I honestly feel your pain. I work in a relatively small town. My employer basically makes up the town; over 20K people work where I do. When I first transitioned there was not any type of training in the workplace for anything identity wise. So, the week before my top surgery (I had been working here at the time for 7 yrs) I decide to hire my therapist to come to my state and give a presentation/training session to educate my co-workers. Since this time (now at work currently 21 years) I have obtained two more degrees (graduate & post graduate) to move to an entirely different organization. I was a blue collar worker and now white collar. People still talk about me and it's been 13 yrs. I'm like get the F over it already. People think they can just tell new people or people that have never met me my business. I agree with you; where do they think it's their place to do this? Stand your ground brother, there's others out there pulling for you!
that was so rude of them. if someone tells you something then that means they trust that you will keep it to yourself. it's his life not yours so people don't need to go snoop around..
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You're right - you 100% deserve to come out on your own terms. You're also right to feel that it doesn't matter if those people accept you because the point is that your privacy was violated and people don't realize that they were being inappropriate prying into your personal life. Really disappointing but I'm glad to see you're staying strong and continue making videos :)
This happens Ty, we need to educate & help people,so we use youtube for this. But then everyone gets to know including who does not want to know. That's the prob when publishing in youtube. You are doing a great job in here with vlogs dude!
We will support you with views! If you make them we will watch them Ty :) Sad to hear you were treated that way, its amazing how ignorant of other peoples feelings some are.
I am so sorry you had to though that, people think they have the right to know your business but when it comes to their shit it's back off, be strong and take care ❤️
Just want to say that you're amazing, and I'm very upset something like this happened to you. Never cool when personal matters are shared in the workplace, regardless of what they are. Happy to hear that you've pulled through and have found a job that's enjoyable :) Keep doin you, fuck the haters!
Its out. Just let it go. Yes, its easier for me to say this. I have no clue what its like living in your town. I do know however how it feels when something gets out that you don't want shared with other;something that you trusted one person but they told someone else (later found out it was not for a malicious purpose). Don't stress. Just breathe and move on.
Something similar happened to a teacher of mine. I never thought about what it must have been like for them during that time. Thank you for sharing this.
tough stuff to go through. glad you were still able to end with a smile! I have kind of a double life, cannot be out/stealth because of my job. not yet anyway. it isnt easy coming to work everyday but I need my job. thanks for sharing as always.
I kind of know what that's like.... people who I've never met ask me about somethings that they shouldn't know at all.... it's not their business to know! that's one reason why I ice a late myself from people! I like company but I'm careful about what I say to them.... u know what it's like to live in a small town.... everyone knows everyone & they all talk.... I've been stabbed in the back to many time to count! I love you Ty I'm glad these videos u do help out so much these coments I write I could never tell my family! they won't understand the thing I go through the torment & pain I fight through thank u for inspiring helpful videos
I am going to be starting T hopefully in december if everything lines up correctly, but for me, being constantly misgendered at work and called by my birth name was really really affecting me negatively, so I figured I would start small towards healing and I asked my managers (without telling them I'm trans) if I could please have a new nametag with an abbreviated version of my chosen name (which is pretty gender fluid) on it. They said no. After some research I found out them telling me no was illegal so I asked again and informed them of the law and our company policy, again i was told no. I asked a third time and I was basically told that I have to give a reason for why I wanted the new name tag with a new name. So they essentially forced me to come out to them. All 4 managers in a room, before I had even told my own sisters. And now everyone at my work knows. and yes it fucking sucks. One of the managers even told me when I started working there that I wasn't allowed to style my hair like the boys because it was considered a 'wild haircut' (I have un undercut with my top hair cut above my ears). This manager is obviously a homophobe at the very least and now that I'm out, he never says hi to me anymore, he barely even looks at me. And now I am being written up for a bunch of bullshit and being called to the carpet for dumb things. The company I work for is huge and extremely conservative (lucky me). I had a lot of long talks with my dad and he gave me some really good advice. Which was 'fuck em'. The opinions of those I don't give a shit about should not and will not ever undermine me or invalidate me. Not anymore. I wish I had an option to get out, but financially, especially with COVID making it difficult enough to find the job I have now, I can't. I am stuck. I am stuck working in a department where half of the women there refuse to call me by my chosen name and make it a point to call me 'ma'am', or 'lady' on purpose. I am stuck with everyone knowing my personal business before I was ready to share it with them all for the sake of having a fucking name tag. And now i have to transition in front of them too because i won't be able to afford to T without this job. The insurance they provide won't even cover it, so I'm doing it through Planned Parenthood. Sorry for the rant, but your experience just made me so mad and I wanted you to know you weren't alone, even tho this video is old.
I'm sorry, Ty, that sucks. That's the downside of the Net. A few years back I was performing as a mermaid at kids' birthday parties under a mermaid showname and the school I worked at somehow found my website. I guess someone just stumbled across it. They hauled me in, said it wasn't a very professional thing to do, but they couldn't tell me to stop because that would be breaking the law (you can have second jobs!). So my next teacher eval, I got marked down on everything. I ended up resigning. Unfortunately, as long as you have a UA-cam channel, this will probably keep happening. It's not right, but it's the way of the Net. Somehow people DO find you. :(
OMG I am so sorry for you, this is awful :(. I hope this situation ends soon and you don't have to deal with the same kind of people on your next work.
Awe I'm sorry to hear about it :( I do agree with you though. You should share what you want to share with the people that you choose to share it with.
Just discovered your videos. You are so likable! I'm at least ten years older than you, and (not to trivialize it) what you are talking about in this video just sounds like what most people go through at your age when they find out how much people at work actually gossip. You just happen to be going through it with an issue that seems more personal than some. Never think that only 3-4 people know something personal. Hell, if one person knows, I assume they all know! But in all honesty, please take it as something that just makes you like everyone else! Good luck with all you are going through, and thanks for putting yourself out here to help others.
Ty that sounds horrible! I feel for you because I'm openly trans in my hometown to a point. I'm open at work because I'm transitioning on the job. I'm fortunate enough to do that and have an HR dept who supports my rights. However, I HATE going places, passing, and THEN someone I knew previously comes up to me. . Its at the least awkward and could potentially be dangerous, though Thank God it hasn't. Whats a trans man to do? We have to live our lives and we can't crawl in a hovel for months till our transition is complete. I'm only 2 months on T & look forward to the day where I no longer look like the old me. You look so male, and so different than before so that is a plus. Keep making vids as you are such an inspiration! I'm 39 and watching your vids this year really helped me to come out and start my life! Thank you and better work places do exist.
wow! sorry you had to deal with so much stress! in all honesty, people can be clueless, ignorant and tactless. I am sure many people were fascinated and curious, but it is an intrusion on your privacy. I ran across your youtube videos and started watching them, and am gaining so much more understanding of what transgender people go through.
i was just outed at my whole school, don’t feel safe anymore and i can’t fucking trust anyone. Had to go back to this video and i feel exactly how you felt
YOU ARE AWESOME! You have a really good work ethic, you are very noble to finish your two weeks (for that girl ie as I usually am that girl) and it shows how normal or regular your process of thinking is because you wanted to figure out who the rumors started with and I empathize very much with your comment about where you live; I used to live in a city but now I'm in bumfuck middleofnowhere land and I know how much old ways can scare the living shit out of someone like you; but as far as I can tell, you are a hot man, move away, start fresh if you want, just don't waste the power of being a man, you can do anything you set your mind too.
I had this happen at my work. I got the lady that started it fired over it because of the same thing you said, she was putting my life in danger and didn't even know it. It also helped get her fired cause she was doing a lot of shit that she shouldn't have been doing, so it was just the cherry on top.
This same thing JUST happened to me with WalMart management. I am stealth and 1 day I come into work..running around 5 minutes late..I get approached by 5 females asking me if my name was..."dead name"..my heart immediately dropped and I denied it. Once I get to the back office to clock in the manager is calling me by my dead name over and over again as I am ignoring him. This is done in front of about 8 people..some I knew and some were going through orientation...as I look around everyone is looking very confused as to what is going on. I just get up and walk out and left the store. I'm pissed because I just want to work without the questions and stares. Now, I'm wondering if the men I work with know and if it's safe to continue using the men's bathroom there. It's all so much to think about when you just want to earn a living. Now, I'm contemplating quitting now or staying to see if things die down. This is so frustrating to say the least!!
this is literally happening to me at school everyone's coming up to me and asking and it's all from this one girl who i thought was my friend and she told this girl who hates me bc i didn't like her back and so now everyone knows and people keep asking me about it and yesterday one girl was like "you're a 'real' guy right" and i was like um yes??? just bc i'm trans doesn't make me less of a guy like what kind of question even is that
America in certain states does to some extent, such as racism and stuff, but since it's a free country it only covers some stuff. When it comes to LGBT topics like sexuality or gender it never seems to count because it's more based on opinion. I hope that makes sense ^^"
I worked at a Walmart too, and that place is like a Highschool. The drama and gossip runs rampant in there which I always found ridiculous because they are supposed to be adults in the workplace and yet they act worse than teenagers
Had a similar situation but I'm Gay and had been doing the same work for 45 years till a mouth told everyone (about 350 people) that I was gay and I did the same thing I retired from work altogether and now enjoying life. sorry to hear that you had to go through all this.
Wow I'm so sorry that this crap happened, its not right and you should not have to hide who you are and you should not have to live in fear. I wish everyplace was a safe supportive place, but I know you will find one. You every need a place to get away from it all :) you come to Canada :) Hugs
That's fucked up. You are absolutely right that it should be your choice of who to tell about it. Same thing happened to me during my senior year of high school. My then-boyfriend told one girl who he knew would never keep her mouth shut that I was gay and it spread like wildfire. Suddenly half of my friends of 3.5 years stopped talking to me. This was over ten years ago, so it was a much different time with LGBT acceptance. Sadly, I guess the lesson is that it is a possibility that whoever you tell could wind up telling anyone so be prepared for that possibility.
for people who dont understand: imagine if multiple people a day came up to you asking about your genitals, or your medications you take. co workers. people youre trying to keep a professional relationships with.
To everyone saying that he would be outed for having UA-cam videos:
The reason he was outed was because some girl knew him from high school. Not because of his videos. He also went out of his way to go by a different name which isn't directly associated with his social media.
People will know from the sloping shoulders, non existent Adam’s apple, small hands, pointer finger, jaw, flat forehead, chubby cheeks, small neck, pointy chin, small humerus bone, etc. Just be honest, life goes much better when you don’t try to deceive people.
@@ilovejesus6762 What do you mean with "deceive"? He's a trans man. A trans man is a man. That's what he's presenting as. Especially at work nobody should be caring about gender-details, like being trans. Imagine people at work asking about your penis size / how often you menstruate, sexual preferences, etc. It's completely out of context.
As to his physical appearance, I'm quite sure nobody will recognize him as trans. As a trans person I'd have problems identifying him and that's saying something. You're just being hateful making up (or exaggerating) that detailed list of supposed shortcomings. Doesn't matter either way, point being that being trans is valid, not a "deception" and it's nobody's business, especially at work.
@@ilovejesus6762 That was...oddly descriptive
I think you're mad that you're attracted to him. Life also get's better when you're not a little bitch spreading falsified views of your 'God' You think this is what he'd want? Some sweaty bible thumper harassing people and living the way you are? If there's a hell you're definitely going there. But he doesn't exist, so you're just an awful person spreading awful ideas.
@@ilovejesus6762 Not all cis men have a prominent Adam's apple. Also, men and women BOTH have Adam's apples (cis women's are just usually smaller), so you really just sound stupid.
This is exactly why I don't want to come out to my classmates. People nowdays just tend to tell everything they know and that what it makes so hard to be honest to them.
Omg same! But i just told everyone on the same day to get it off my chest. It helps alot, but some people wont be accepting.
Yes. Total agree-ance.
PFP IS AMAZING
and, um me to.
I really want to be referred to as Oliver, but no one can know.
How are you guys currently?
this was true decades ago too, as well as nowadays. gossip travels fast, especially the more juicy it is, and especially in high schools
Sorry to hear about that! Stay flawless :)
im mad this happened man, why do some cis people think they have the right to tell others that someone is trans? it's not their business to tell at all and that shit could cause bad things to go down if you worked with crazy transphobes. hopefully things turn out well for you though from here on out
Then keep your SECRET a SECRET!! STAY OFF PUBLIC SOCIAL SPOTS!! IT'S NO SECRET THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN!! YOU PUT IT OUT THERE YOURSELF!
@@lorettasanchez1184Not how society works, dipshit. If it makes you uncomfortable, that is purely a you problem that you need to work out. Trans people have the legal right to be in public spaces, whether you like it or not, fascist.
This is actually really helpful for me, thank you. I have figured out that someone I work with is trans and didn't know what to do about it. Now I know. Don't do anything, just go about business as usual.
State the bleeding obvious
Trans people are just people. We would rather just blend in and pass as our genders
@Ricci Hardow This is a very old comment, and I don't know what you hope to achieve by replying this. You must know that most likely a lot would have changed in five years. Sorry for not always knowing the right thing to do or say. All I can do is lead with kindness and compassion and try to learn as much as I can. I suggest looking into "emotional correctness", it might help you see the issue differently.
I am (unfortunately) completely out at college, people don't talk to me very often, but I've heard what they say. I don' have any kind privacy there; like, I had top surgery but I didn't tell anyone, I only had to say to a teacher that I couldn't make the exam because I was getting a surgery; and know, for the entire college I had "THE SURGERY"
Is a little bit of privacy to much to ask?
I don't get why everyone has to make someone's genitals and gender their business.
hey ty, I'm actually crying, because that is just so unfair and rude of them, that's so unprofessional of the people involved, I can't believe they were asking anatomy, like you generally just don't do that to anyone unless your a creep. uhhh crying, sorry I'm a sensitive person, the triggered dysphoria, oh man, that's just heart breaking, hopefully your future jobs they can maintain professionalism. I'm proud of you for being so strong to actually work another two weeks. just keep being you, your awesome! I'm ftm but uh not transitioned. so I really understand. stay strong! your videos really inspire me so Thank you for coming onto UA-cam! hopefully one day trans will just be a tick box and people won't have to freak out over nothing.
I was working at Lowes and i got physically attacked by a coworker because im Trans, I didnt tell anyone and someone found out because they knew my sister and they told someone and they told someone else and it turned into this huge thing. So i get your fear. I feel it too. I think most of us do at some point, because you are right it can be very dangerous. Ive been stabbed because people in my college found out. anyone that gives you shit about quitting a job thats not safe can live a day in your shoes and feel that fear.
I rarely comment of videos, but I'm very compelled to say this. As a transman, I can relate to your feelings 100%. I've been outed at work too and it is maddening.The fact of the matter is that you're a remarkable, beautiful human being, and while this experience was painful, I see that more positivity likely came from it. You opened these people's eyes in ways you probably never would have believed. I'm sure many at work admired your strength to pursue happiness and peace of mind. Truly you were an example of the courage and willpower it takes to change ones life, even when it seems impossible. It may have even swayed them to reexamine the roots of their prejudices. So I believe the fact that many knew was a blessing in disguise. Just another perspective. You are a very special person who is already changing the world!
This just happened to me yesterday. Someone from HS era recognized me, despite me being a year+ into my transition and told my other coworkers "he has girl parts" and I was asked a bunch of private questions last night during my closing shift and got very uncomfortable. But I've only been there for two weeks and I don't know if it's worth leaving over, if I should ignore it. It's such a sucky situation.
I'm Glad you stood your Ground and Quit that Toxic job, you're an Amazing guy.
unfortunately, Ty, in small towns, gossip spreads like wildfire. I know how it feels to be outed and it sucks, especially since I wasn't ready to come out. Adults found out and approached my parents about it, saying that they felt that their kids were in danger because of me and I faced a lot of harrassment over it. I hope things go better for you and that people lay off of it, and I hope that you stay safe.
this is literally why I don't talk about it at work. hope things get better for you.
aw man i relate to this. i've only told 6 people about my sexuality and one of the people was because she asked if me and a girl were dating and i said yes but she had to keep it a secret bc i don't wanna be outed and she calls herself an intersectional feminist so i thought she really would keep the secret but she didn't. she told her whole group of friends and those friends told other friends and now probably 20+ people know without me telling them :-) i found this out because that one girl i told's friend's friend's friend's friend was my gf's sister and she asked about us and her sister didnt know so she was confused. i would like to be open about my sexuality but i am terrified of my mom finding out so i prefer staying closeted. the whole thing just made me really upset bc the girl i told lives a street away from me. i really feel for you and anyone who's gone through something similar.
Honestly why do people care? Unless your sleeping with someone why do you care what anyone has or doesn't? I don't get it. Can't we all just leave people alone
If they're just curious and want to learn more about the topic, they can just politely ask the person. That's completely okay if the person is okay with it. But outing someone without telling them and/or against their will and then making fun of them or harassing them is absolutely not okay.
@Ash Wolf That's fucking stupid. It's none of their business
@Ash Wolf With "mimic" we know where you're coming from. No wonder the lack of empathy.
Ash Wolf it’s not “mimicking” it’s transitioning, and even if people are curious there’s a lot of things about people you could be curious about but that doesn’t mean you have the right to know if that person doesn’t want you to know
I totally feel you man. This exact thing happened when I started at a new school "stealth". One person found my UA-cam and more and more people spread it around to the point where I had to delete the channel I posted trans related vids on. It just sucks because its nearly impossible to have privacy when you are trans.
Ty, ever thought about moving to a more liberal State? I know it's not ideal and it shouldn't be something you should have to do, but you also shouldn't have to deal with these sorts of things. Even though it's nice to live near your family, you could end up having a much more peacful and quiet life in another place.
+Melaka Fray it is ideal! Fuck yeah I want to get out of here lol I literally just can't afford to leave
+Ty Turner Hi Tyler. I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you! I live in South Carolina, so I know what you mean about the confederate flag thing. I'm glad to see you have a great outlook on the whole thing. Video on!
+Ty Turner lol come live with me
+Ty Turner I used to live in the same state and got out first chance I got. I couldn't afford it either...I know it sucks.
+Melaka Fray I agree. I moved to Canada and a lot more comfortable here. I miss my family but i am much happier. People here i feel respect each other and respect each other's privacy. :)
I *totally* understand how you feel, Ty. I had a really scary experience the other day at the weight room at my community college. I'm pre-t and I bind heavily but I have a large chest so it doesn't help that much so people generally assume I'm a butch lesbian or something, and my high voice doesn't help either. So anyway, I was changing in the men's bathroom which is a single bathroom, and the lock doesn't work so I had my back up against the door to try to keep it shut, but while my shirt and binder were partially up, someone tried to open the door. There's a mirror directly across from the door so I think they saw my reflection in the mirror and now I'm afraid to go back there because there are some guys that have been giving me weird looks and I don't know if I could be put in a dangerous situation or not. So, I can definitely empathize with you. I hope everything goes okay and no one else invades your privacy. Good luck, Ty. - Emmett
Stay strong Ty & never let anyone get you down.
I know exactly how you feel since I live in a small town and everyone at my work knew everything about me, but I never let their words get to me.
You're an amazing man & I know you will continue to do great things!
Thank you for being such an inspiration & I really enjoy all of your videos!
If you ever want to talk I'm here :)
I'm sorry that happened to you. You have helped so many people with a lot in their lives and I hope the best for you. Keep doing great things. You are amazing!
hope your week improved from this! im also stealth at work and its super fucking hard at times! but i respect you for doing it and i feel sorry for you getting outed! sending peace and love man. stay strong!
I'm really sorry that happened, it's so shitty. But, it's great to see you powering through! Thank you for inspiring us!
Oh,Ty I am so sorry for that :( so sorry you have to deal with that :( I tottaly feel you,I've been in a very similar situation...I know how uncomfortable and frustrated that is. You just wanna escape from your own skin.
Just don't leave us,please,keep making videos,you rock! ;)
And I'm happy for your work at dad's :)
That whole thing sounds very stressful, I'm glad you pulled through and obviously made the right decision. I hope you're happy with the position you're currently in now and if you sorta still aren't then I hope you get to where you want to be! I would also like to thank you for being such an inspiration to me because without you I would probably be dead right now. I was spiraling out of control searching many things to try to figure out what was wrong with me and my depression was getting worse and I think I knew but of course I was rejecting it and then I found your videos and honestly watched every one I could. It has helped me so much and now I'm beginning to go through the transition and it has been making me very happy and I have you to thank. :) I will forever be a supporter of you. Favorite youtuber no doubt.
Im so sorry to hear that. Hope youre doing ok though! Thanks for being so brave and sharing your story with those of us who arent as brave as you are.
I'm sorry you had to go through this. It's no one's business but yours. No one has the right to tell your story but you. 💜
I'm really sorry that happened to you. I think it's really shitty of people to go around and dig stuff up about you. I'm just glad you got yourself out of that situation, and I hope you don't have to deal with that again. I just want to say thank you for putting your life and experiences out on you tube because it really does help people. Thanks for being awesome and stay safe
I really like and enjoy your videos! also I totally unterstand that talking on youtube is totally different to narrow minded people in real life who would never find out if there wasn't gossip going around. you've achieved so much, keep it up don't let anybody take you down!
This pisses me off so much, I'm so sorry this had happened Ty
I'm sorry man, that just not cool.
Touching - intelligent and thought provoking. Thanks for sharing
Omg seriosly you have nothing to me ashame of, i just found ur channel and i think you such a wonderful guy and very awensome btw :)
you're a cool guy. I'm sorry that happened to you at your workplace. it's one of my greatest fears. much love to you.
Ty I am really sorry. I can't even imagine that situation. I suffer from panic/anxiety attacks too. Hope that future working situations get better
People feed off drama. Any drama, to make there life's fun! Even as a human being, watching this and hearing what you have to say.You're a strong person to be staying there for that long. Trusting people is a difficult thing. I should have to think who I can trust but there is always that one person! love watching ur videos, can't believe how successful you are! I will always be by your side. x
Thats so fucked !! U shudnt have had to go threw that man , keep your head high and keep moving forward . rember you are an inspiration to people so people who are using ur videos for selfish reasons is not cool ! I could only imagine how that felt to be outed at work like that.
Wow...so sorry that all happened. Just goes to show how some people can't handle keeping things to themselves and thinking about how the other person is affected.
(Nice profile pic)
+ummm Erin? "thanks"
+Ty Turner Dude, I honestly feel your pain. I work in a relatively small town. My employer basically makes up the town; over 20K people work where I do. When I first transitioned there was not any type of training in the workplace for anything identity wise. So, the week before my top surgery (I had been working here at the time for 7 yrs) I decide to hire my therapist to come to my state and give a presentation/training session to educate my co-workers. Since this time (now at work currently 21 years) I have obtained two more degrees (graduate & post graduate) to move to an entirely different organization. I was a blue collar worker and now white collar. People still talk about me and it's been 13 yrs. I'm like get the F over it already. People think they can just tell new people or people that have never met me my business. I agree with you; where do they think it's their place to do this? Stand your ground brother, there's others out there pulling for you!
that was so rude of them. if someone tells you something then that means they trust that you will keep it to yourself. it's his life not yours so people don't need to go snoop around..
But we live in reality and in a small town that's "big news", you can't expect human nature to change.
@@WATERS57 It's really not big news, tho
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You're right - you 100% deserve to come out on your own terms. You're also right to feel that it doesn't matter if those people accept you because the point is that your privacy was violated and people don't realize that they were being inappropriate prying into your personal life. Really disappointing but I'm glad to see you're staying strong and continue making videos :)
things will work out. live your life as you want and dont let others get you down.
This happens Ty, we need to educate & help people,so we use youtube for this. But then everyone gets to know including who does not want to know. That's the prob when publishing in youtube. You are doing a great job in here with vlogs dude!
Sorry to hear about this Ty, just hope something like this doesn't happen again!
We will support you with views! If you make them we will watch them Ty :)
Sad to hear you were treated that way, its amazing how ignorant of other peoples feelings some are.
I can easily picture that situation happening in my town. People don't realize that telling that kind of information can be dangerous.
I am so sorry you had to though that, people think they have the right to know your business but when it comes to their shit it's back off, be strong and take care ❤️
Just want to say that you're amazing, and I'm very upset something like this happened to you. Never cool when personal matters are shared in the workplace, regardless of what they are. Happy to hear that you've pulled through and have found a job that's enjoyable :) Keep doin you, fuck the haters!
the same thing happened to me years ago. in the end I got 6 people fired.
Its out. Just let it go. Yes, its easier for me to say this. I have no clue what its like living in your town. I do know however how it feels when something gets out that you don't want shared with other;something that you trusted one person but they told someone else (later found out it was not for a malicious purpose). Don't stress. Just breathe and move on.
This is seriously not okay ugh
It scares me so much to imagine being outed
Ty, I'm so glad that I happened upon this video. Wish you all the very best!
This makes me so sad 😞 i want to cry
Something similar happened to a teacher of mine. I never thought about what it must have been like for them during that time. Thank you for sharing this.
I am sorry that you had to go thru all that stuff Tyler! it's upsetting and I been in that situation before.
tough stuff to go through. glad you were still able to end with a smile! I have kind of a double life, cannot be out/stealth because of my job. not yet anyway. it isnt easy coming to work everyday but I need my job. thanks for sharing as always.
such a strong guy. keep the head up high!
I kind of know what that's like.... people who I've never met ask me about somethings that they shouldn't know at all.... it's not their business to know! that's one reason why I ice a late myself from people! I like company but I'm careful about what I say to them.... u know what it's like to live in a small town.... everyone knows everyone & they all talk.... I've been stabbed in the back to many time to count!
I love you Ty I'm glad these videos u do help out so much these coments I write I could never tell my family! they won't understand the thing I go through the torment & pain I fight through thank u for inspiring helpful videos
I'd look into Target. I work for them and they're super rad about things like this.
I am going to be starting T hopefully in december if everything lines up correctly, but for me, being constantly misgendered at work and called by my birth name was really really affecting me negatively, so I figured I would start small towards healing and I asked my managers (without telling them I'm trans) if I could please have a new nametag with an abbreviated version of my chosen name (which is pretty gender fluid) on it. They said no. After some research I found out them telling me no was illegal so I asked again and informed them of the law and our company policy, again i was told no. I asked a third time and I was basically told that I have to give a reason for why I wanted the new name tag with a new name. So they essentially forced me to come out to them. All 4 managers in a room, before I had even told my own sisters. And now everyone at my work knows. and yes it fucking sucks. One of the managers even told me when I started working there that I wasn't allowed to style my hair like the boys because it was considered a 'wild haircut' (I have un undercut with my top hair cut above my ears). This manager is obviously a homophobe at the very least and now that I'm out, he never says hi to me anymore, he barely even looks at me. And now I am being written up for a bunch of bullshit and being called to the carpet for dumb things. The company I work for is huge and extremely conservative (lucky me). I had a lot of long talks with my dad and he gave me some really good advice. Which was 'fuck em'. The opinions of those I don't give a shit about should not and will not ever undermine me or invalidate me. Not anymore. I wish I had an option to get out, but financially, especially with COVID making it difficult enough to find the job I have now, I can't. I am stuck. I am stuck working in a department where half of the women there refuse to call me by my chosen name and make it a point to call me 'ma'am', or 'lady' on purpose. I am stuck with everyone knowing my personal business before I was ready to share it with them all for the sake of having a fucking name tag. And now i have to transition in front of them too because i won't be able to afford to T without this job. The insurance they provide won't even cover it, so I'm doing it through Planned Parenthood. Sorry for the rant, but your experience just made me so mad and I wanted you to know you weren't alone, even tho this video is old.
I'm sorry, Ty, that sucks. That's the downside of the Net. A few years back I was performing as a mermaid at kids' birthday parties under a mermaid showname and the school I worked at somehow found my website. I guess someone just stumbled across it. They hauled me in, said it wasn't a very professional thing to do, but they couldn't tell me to stop because that would be breaking the law (you can have second jobs!). So my next teacher eval, I got marked down on everything. I ended up resigning. Unfortunately, as long as you have a UA-cam channel, this will probably keep happening. It's not right, but it's the way of the Net. Somehow people DO find you. :(
I mean, it's WalMart; one of the worst corporations on the planet. I work at Target, and management still can't get my name right.
OMG I am so sorry for you, this is awful :(. I hope this situation ends soon and you don't have to deal with the same kind of people on your next work.
Awe I'm sorry to hear about it :( I do agree with you though. You should share what you want to share with the people that you choose to share it with.
Just discovered your videos. You are so likable! I'm at least ten years older than you, and (not to trivialize it) what you are talking about in this video just sounds like what most people go through at your age when they find out how much people at work actually gossip. You just happen to be going through it with an issue that seems more personal than some. Never think that only 3-4 people know something personal. Hell, if one person knows, I assume they all know! But in all honesty, please take it as something that just makes you like everyone else! Good luck with all you are going through, and thanks for putting yourself out here to help others.
+Young Boy Dan Yeah, especially in retail, people cannot keep their mouths shut! It is so insane to me but that is the reality!
+briieme Ah yes "reality" we don't want to forget about it ;-) it still exists.
So much love for you ty! Your amazing xx
Your a legend bloody love you learnt so much from you love the vlogs love from England xx
No one deserves to be treated this way. I'm so sorry you had to deal with with this :/
So sorry you have to go thru so much drama just to be you.
Ty that sounds horrible! I feel for you because I'm openly trans in my hometown to a point. I'm open at work because I'm transitioning on the job. I'm fortunate enough to do that and have an HR dept who supports my rights. However, I HATE going places, passing, and THEN someone I knew previously comes up to me. . Its at the least awkward and could potentially be dangerous, though Thank God it hasn't. Whats a trans man to do? We have to live our lives and we can't crawl in a hovel for months till our transition is complete. I'm only 2 months on T & look forward to the day where I no longer look like the old me. You look so male, and so different than before so that is a plus. Keep making vids as you are such an inspiration! I'm 39 and watching your vids this year really helped me to come out and start my life! Thank you and better work places do exist.
aw ty :( I'm sorry this happened to you. but you seem way happier now and I'm glad you posted a video about it. :) tell Christy hi for me! :)
wow! sorry you had to deal with so much stress! in all honesty, people can be clueless, ignorant and tactless. I am sure many people were fascinated and curious, but it is an intrusion on your privacy. I ran across your youtube videos and started watching them, and am gaining so much more understanding of what transgender people go through.
I'm so happy for you Ty!
So sorry Ty. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with people being insensitive. Keep on keeping on !!
i was just outed at my whole school, don’t feel safe anymore and i can’t fucking trust anyone. Had to go back to this video and i feel exactly how you felt
YOU ARE AWESOME! You have a really good work ethic, you are very noble to finish your two weeks (for that girl ie as I usually am that girl) and it shows how normal or regular your process of thinking is because you wanted to figure out who the rumors started with and I empathize very much with your comment about where you live; I used to live in a city but now I'm in bumfuck middleofnowhere land and I know how much old ways can scare the living shit out of someone like you; but as far as I can tell, you are a hot man, move away, start fresh if you want, just don't waste the power of being a man, you can do anything you set your mind too.
Awe. I'm sorry man this really sucks. :( good luck. I'm just catching up on your channel, I was out for a bit haha.
I had this happen at my work. I got the lady that started it fired over it because of the same thing you said, she was putting my life in danger and didn't even know it. It also helped get her fired cause she was doing a lot of shit that she shouldn't have been doing, so it was just the cherry on top.
That sucks that you got outed. You were way too good to work there and hope you got a much better gig
I’m here in 2018 and I think you’ve meet your goal
Not cool! That really sucks. Love your videos man.
People are assholes. I love your videos.
This same thing JUST happened to me with WalMart management. I am stealth and 1 day I come into work..running around 5 minutes late..I get approached by 5 females asking me if my name was..."dead name"..my heart immediately dropped and I denied it. Once I get to the back office to clock in the manager is calling me by my dead name over and over again as I am ignoring him. This is done in front of about 8 people..some I knew and some were going through orientation...as I look around everyone is looking very confused as to what is going on. I just get up and walk out and left the store. I'm pissed because I just want to work without the questions and stares. Now, I'm wondering if the men I work with know and if it's safe to continue using the men's bathroom there. It's all so much to think about when you just want to earn a living. Now, I'm contemplating quitting now or staying to see if things die down. This is so frustrating to say the least!!
The Shining, The Interview AND a Star Wars poster? We need to be best friends! Hahaha. Awesome vid :)
Ty that's discrimination! And bullying.... And they can be sued! .... Unacceptable
this is literally happening to me at school everyone's coming up to me and asking and it's all from this one girl who i thought was my friend and she told this girl who hates me bc i didn't like her back and so now everyone knows and people keep asking me about it and yesterday one girl was like "you're a 'real' guy right" and i was like um yes??? just bc i'm trans doesn't make me less of a guy like what kind of question even is that
should move to the UK where we have anti discrimination laws
America in certain states does to some extent, such as racism and stuff, but since it's a free country it only covers some stuff. When it comes to LGBT topics like sexuality or gender it never seems to count because it's more based on opinion. I hope that makes sense ^^"
you made the good choise
I worked at a Walmart too, and that place is like a Highschool. The drama and gossip runs rampant in there which I always found ridiculous because they are supposed to be adults in the workplace and yet they act worse than teenagers
I'm sorry you had to deal with all that!
Ty I'm sorry this happened to you.
Dude I am so sorry about this!
Had a similar situation but I'm Gay and had been doing the same work for 45 years till a mouth told everyone (about 350 people) that I was gay and I did the same thing I retired from work altogether and now enjoying life. sorry to hear that you had to go through all this.
Come to San Francisco!! As long as you have love in your heart, you are welcome
You did the right thing.
Wow I'm so sorry that this crap happened, its not right and you should not have to hide who you are and you should not have to live in fear.
I wish everyplace was a safe supportive place, but I know you will find one.
You every need a place to get away from it all :) you come to Canada :)
Hugs
I gave you a thumbs up for sharing a true life situation that we will go through at some point- thank you- I am sorry your privacy was invaded
That's fucked up. You are absolutely right that it should be your choice of who to tell about it. Same thing happened to me during my senior year of high school. My then-boyfriend told one girl who he knew would never keep her mouth shut that I was gay and it spread like wildfire. Suddenly half of my friends of 3.5 years stopped talking to me. This was over ten years ago, so it was a much different time with LGBT acceptance. Sadly, I guess the lesson is that it is a possibility that whoever you tell could wind up telling anyone so be prepared for that possibility.
Jobs are gossipy. It gets less scary as you get older.