How To Budget When Your Partner Isn't On Board

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  • Опубліковано 10 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 99

  • @laurawinger4339
    @laurawinger4339 Рік тому +22

    I always appreciate your calm, thoughtful manner in your videos and especially when you talk about heavier things like this. I hope this one is as reassuring to anyone going through this situation as it felt to me. I'm very grateful to not have to deal with anything like this but you've given me excellent perspective on my own situation I jokingly refer to as terminally single. I may be alone but at least I'm in charge. lol

  • @TeresaS-q7x
    @TeresaS-q7x Рік тому +1

    In the 'so what' category, yeah, I like that..
    thumbs up video!

  • @sandralnwebster3204
    @sandralnwebster3204 Рік тому +3

    What a great idea to take us for a
    "Walkabout!".

  • @myrnaedmisten599
    @myrnaedmisten599 Рік тому +3

    I’m so impressed with your financial “savvy”. You did say you’ve never met a spreadsheet you didn’t like! You and numbers…makes so much sense. Thank you. 🥰

  • @nancymathisen9707
    @nancymathisen9707 Рік тому

    What a pleasant looking town Chemainus is. I’ve never heard of it before.

  • @yvonneschermerhorn866
    @yvonneschermerhorn866 Рік тому

    You are absolutely correct. The wrong thing to do is not to talk or even confront the big spender and put this top in the light. ( eg. Your partner not having life insurance. That cost will eventually fall on you.)

  • @kevnrob1
    @kevnrob1 Рік тому +5

    Absolutely agree with paying smallest to largest balances in order. The largest balance will take the longest and will require long term dedication. Starting out with no immediate reward in sight is a good way to fail. Been there, done that. Those rewards are crucial to success.

  • @sallyb4699
    @sallyb4699 Рік тому +9

    Great video Adelina and beautiful place! Hope it helps couples who are prepared to work together on it! In my case it was impossible to work together but it still can be done. A small safe squirreled away and screwed to the wall !😆Start building a cash emergency fund youself. Begin sinking funds for the annual bills and slowly but surely build a cushion for yourself if not for both of you. You will sleep better and start to put the rest in perspective. Once you get your confidence back a bit and the hostility towards your partner subsides you may find your partner starts to communicate better with the whole money thing. It may sound a sneaky way but he ran up so much debt behind my back ,he even tried to remortgage the house without telling me...now thats sneaky!! In the end it worked out for me and hope everyone can get some peace from your great advice 💕 xx

    • @myBIGtinyhouselife
      @myBIGtinyhouselife  Рік тому +2

      Thank you for sharing that! Good for you. That's such a difficult situation to work yourself out of. I'm glad you're ok. ❤️

  • @sue9252
    @sue9252 Рік тому +6

    Good morning Adelina and Happy Sunday. I think it’s great that you can escape to such a cute little piece of serenity. Love small villages and towns.
    The information you shared was spot on for those that are struggling. I was once experiencing the same trying to get ahead and a partner always coming up with excuses to spend. I remember putting 20.00 a week in a hiding place that I secretly skimmed from my grocery allowance. Imagine having to go that route to have money for myself.
    Im a single (youngish) senior and I intend to stay that way. I payed down debts by getting rid of the smallest first and it was almost euphoric every time I cut up a credit card. My mindset went back to the days that I skimmed off my grocery allowance and I incorporated that into putting towards the larger credit cards as well as making those minimum payments. It took time and every once in awhile I would go out and spend on myself because I need to look good but I can say that I’m debt free and could make ends meet on my little pension but why live just making it til the end of the month. I still work 40 hrs a week from my home because I just can’t sit idle . I tried that but age started creeping up. I love saving money even a little bit at a time.

    • @myBIGtinyhouselife
      @myBIGtinyhouselife  Рік тому +2

      Hi! Good for you! I do that same thing. Seeing how much I can save from my grocery budget to put down on my building loan. You're amazing! 😊❤️

    • @sue9252
      @sue9252 Рік тому

      @@myBIGtinyhouselife Thanks Adelina and hugs for Sophie ❤️

  • @chasingthemoonrv
    @chasingthemoonrv Рік тому +3

    After watching this video I don’t think you ever again have to say, ‘I hope this was helpful’, because your level headedness, insight and words of wisdom always are! 🌷💛

  • @mrcdplsrl
    @mrcdplsrl Рік тому +4

    Finances are the number one cause of divorce and it definitely was a major reason for my divorce. My ex fought the Dave Ramsey FP program all the way. He was no longer in control and didn’t like it. Your videos on budgeting have been helpful and have reminded me to stay on track, watch my spending and figure out what is truly a “need and what is a “want” because it makes a huge difference in your decisions with money.

  • @woodenclogs5830
    @woodenclogs5830 Рік тому +1

    Excellent advice! There are so many resources available if you’re wanting to learn and become financially secure. We live in mid Vancouver island . A long time ago a mentor of mine gave me a little book called The Books of Babylon which became the foundation of our plan to become financially independent. Chemainus is a great town…in another vlog you might show off the Chemainus Theatre an absolute gem of a building.

  • @debbienelson8013
    @debbienelson8013 9 місяців тому

    You are so right.

  • @nancysantamaria3924
    @nancysantamaria3924 Рік тому +1

    Beautiful scenery and advice 🥰. Just bought a t- shirt that says your usual closing line, “in a world where you can be anything, be kind “. Have always loved that expression ❤. Have a great week Adelina 🥰🙏❤️

  • @RobertPeru2749
    @RobertPeru2749 Рік тому +1

    I love your videos. I try to watch them as often as possible. You have a relaxing way in your manner and I benefit from that. Thank you Ma'am. Keep up the good work that you do.

  • @cmbooks2000
    @cmbooks2000 Рік тому

    Metal detector. I bought one years ago for my son. He never mentioned if he discovered buried treasure.
    Thank you for a great channel. This is an important topic. Couples often don't agree on how money factors into relationships

  • @cynthiaslebodnik6945
    @cynthiaslebodnik6945 Рік тому +1

    We've had some birds back here in northeastern PA, plus a real sign of spring are the peepers in our pond.

  • @doratiscareno5856
    @doratiscareno5856 Рік тому +3

    Oh my gosh....I've been watch you for years a SUBSCRIBER
    then all of a sudden your VIDEOS stopped coming ... and now your back
    I'm excited to catch up
    Great to see you
    and know that your ok....you look amazing, and I'm looking forward to trying some of yr recipes 👍🏻
    Fan...🤭lol from
    CALIFORNIA🏖 🇺🇸🦅

  • @marirose19
    @marirose19 Рік тому +2

    Spot on 100%, Adelina!
    I completely agree w/you that controlling another financially IS abuse.
    I’ve been in an abusive relationship where I was abused more than financially. Ultimately I came to realize that if I didn’t find a way out & get support to get him away from me, I wouldn’t be alive for my two then very young daughters; I’d be d.E.a.D.
    I also realized I’d rather parent alone than think I had a partner who was never there for the kids or me. As hard as single parenting is, and it was, at least I knew my daughters wouldn’t grow up watching their mother nearly being murdered daily/weekly at the hands of their father, my then husband, if not completely done away with.
    Financially controlling someone is usually the tip of the iceberg of more significant abuse.
    One of the wisest things someone ever said to me was, “Do you want a partner or a project?”
    I was unwell last week so need to rewatch Dave Ramsey vlog. I fell asleep during it. Just beginning to feel better now to the extent I feel okay on any given day.
    Long live strong women as singles or in healthy partnerships, whichever shall be what’s most freeing to each of us!!
    🌀🌟💙✌🏼

    • @myBIGtinyhouselife
      @myBIGtinyhouselife  Рік тому +2

      'Do you want a partner ire a project?' That is so good! I'm stealing that 😊. I'm glad your feeling a bit better. I know you live with chronic pain and I always appreciate you taking the time to watch and comment. ❤️

    • @marirose19
      @marirose19 Рік тому +1

      @@myBIGtinyhouselife I always watch & like as close to you publishing as possible but feel terrible when I can’t even work up the steam to comment. BTW, chronic pain is one thing I live with but not the worst thing as severe as it is. SMH. Thank you for all you do & are, Adelina. Love you so much & appreciate your support; I feel it in my bones.
      💛🌀🌟

    • @myBIGtinyhouselife
      @myBIGtinyhouselife  Рік тому +1

      I am always grateful for you 😊❤️

  • @Britbabe53
    @Britbabe53 Рік тому +1

    Loved the city tour!!

  • @regdesousa9763
    @regdesousa9763 Рік тому

    Your video about the downsizing is one of my favorites I am watching while I am doing it myself!!

  • @connectingpointss
    @connectingpointss Рік тому

    I find this a serious and sensible topic.I always learn things from your content. Thanks! Nice and cozy town!

  • @ggeise1467
    @ggeise1467 Рік тому

    Great conversation and the scenery a lovely extra!

  • @kathleenmcintyre1042
    @kathleenmcintyre1042 Рік тому +1

    I watched this video yesterday but I was too frustrated for you to comment. I’m so sorry this has caused so much “unnecessary “ stress ❤
    A friend of mine had sent this to me and it’s something I try to remember…even though hard at times.
    Write down everything you’re worried about.
    Then cross out everything you can’t control.
    Deal with the things you can control.
    You have such a beautiful spot there but I’m sure something even better is waiting for you

  • @garykendrick8851
    @garykendrick8851 Рік тому

    I really enjoyed this video Thank you for taking us on your walk. Great advice on finances :) You made us feel like we were having that walk and conversation with you. Thank you :)

  • @martykong3592
    @martykong3592 Рік тому +1

    :) WELL DONE and said! Too many of us have had that struggle, and for me, my 1st partner, I MAXED out my 401K as a means to save for our daughters school / future, but you are so right, crdeit cards did me in that I did not know about until it was too late :( I tried to keep separate credit union accounts and a joint one later in life, that helped separate what I could save. ALL the BEST and THANKS MUCH for sharing! Cheers from down south ! :)

  • @mitchellpugh497
    @mitchellpugh497 Рік тому +1

    Great advice on a complex topic. 🙂

  • @michellefitzgerald4708
    @michellefitzgerald4708 Рік тому +1

    Loved this video - amazing advice!👍🏻❤️

  • @jennybt1827
    @jennybt1827 Рік тому

    Thank you!❤

  • @annehooper2151
    @annehooper2151 Рік тому

    At 17:45 min--after eliminating the smallest debt and feeling good--you said to go to the largest debt--I think you meant the next smallest debt.

  • @judith4158
    @judith4158 Рік тому

    There's a lot to be said for someone with experience and acquired wisdom in managing a situation.

  • @beverlysyferd379
    @beverlysyferd379 Рік тому

    A very insightful video.

  • @zaphlo
    @zaphlo Рік тому

    You are so sweet and I appreciate your advice 🥰

  • @candicekingpalgut9947
    @candicekingpalgut9947 Рік тому

    my solution was.. divide the finances, have separate accounts. you pay your half, and spend whats left any way you choose. I pay half, and spend or save any way I choose, and I will NOT bail you out from bad choices. IN the end,, it was a divorce, and I managed to find myself a partner 20 years ago, that handles money like I do. we have zero debt, 2 paid off houses, now retired, and live a modest little life. bliss.

  • @yayaglass
    @yayaglass Рік тому

    Excellent video and I agree with your perspective! You might want to snag some of that Cedar to use in your Veg Garden this Spring, to build beds. It will last for years! Thanks for sharing with us, dear Adelina! Oh, how's Sophie handling the noise? In true cat fashion she's probably napping in a small space, lol. ❤💤😺

  • @carolinefrenette2615
    @carolinefrenette2615 Рік тому

    Love this video!

  • @annsmith7207
    @annsmith7207 Рік тому +1

    Hi Adelina: Good to see you this afternoon and your video is terrific! In my view, money is the last cultural taboo -- people will talk about incest before they will have a conversation about money on a personal level. Seriously! Suze Orman is terrific talking about money and finances. I have my own way to set up finances with a partner and maybe some other time -- but it is too long to type today. What I will say is if a partner is unwilling to be honest and forthcoming about their finances --- once the relationship has moved to that level --- its over! That is a huge red flag and if someone thinks their partner will change over time -- get real -- no way is that going to happen. What you see is what you get -- and the inability to have the money conversation --- is simply a deal breaker. You look well and hope Miss Sophie is well, too!
    🎇🎇🌞🌞🎇🎇

  • @caroll6541
    @caroll6541 Рік тому +1

    You are smart girl! Now drink your coffee ☕️ before it gets cold! 😎😁🌲🏦

  • @mavahuth5044
    @mavahuth5044 Рік тому

    I'm sure I have said this before. You are smart 🤓. I learned a long time ago,to use I messages . I feel whatever. I have also told people I can't control anybody, but myself. Like you said work with whoever. Sometimes do the best you can. I really like it when you, do things outside. I use to like to look at antiques, but don't have the time, any more. Have a good week.🌸🌼🍓🍑

    • @myBIGtinyhouselife
      @myBIGtinyhouselife  Рік тому

      Thanks so much ☺️❤️.

    • @jo-anne5123
      @jo-anne5123 Рік тому

      What a beautiful area! You probably don’t want to add another appliance to your tiny house, but the Ninja Creami makes amazing vegan ice cream. I’ve been having fun trying different flavours.

    • @myBIGtinyhouselife
      @myBIGtinyhouselife  Рік тому +1

      I've seen recipes for making it in my Vitamix too. 😊

  • @Cindy-lt2cm
    @Cindy-lt2cm Рік тому

    So glad things are looking up. I appreciate your honest and growth-oriented perspective as you face this new unjust challenge. I so enjoy your attitude, outlook and presence in your videos. Although the challenges I'm currently facing are quite different, your example is so helpful, and I'm guessing this is the same for so many people. My best to you from Oregon!

  • @cindydevinny4985
    @cindydevinny4985 Рік тому

    Beautiful

  • @TeresaS-q7x
    @TeresaS-q7x Рік тому

    People who think Ramsey does the snowball incorrect - it's probably because they don't have debt and value the paying off the highest interest first.
    But people who carry debt will probably need the win of having something completed paid off in order to continue.
    That is the difference, in my opinion, of those who agree with Dave and those who disagree.

  • @ianbarr4716
    @ianbarr4716 Рік тому

    ....but, but, but .... I wanna to have a mommy ??? Sad that some relationships almost amount to this sentiment and the person doesn't even see it. Great video, Adelina. Cheers

  • @swaziswimmer
    @swaziswimmer Рік тому +3

    Truth:: you both have to be ADULTS for there to actually be a partnership relationship. There are other kinds of relationships -- for example a parent and child.. ..or two children.....

  • @afnium
    @afnium Рік тому

    What to do if your partner doesn’t want to buy a house in an area you like? He wants to go far from your work, to have a garage and land, while you want to close to work because you are already struggling to follow the home business even if you are close.

    • @myBIGtinyhouselife
      @myBIGtinyhouselife  Рік тому

      Hello. It sounds like you might benefit from sitting down with a professional councillor. 😊