How One Polygamous Family Changed the Law | Counter-Narratives | The New Yorker
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- Опубліковано 28 вер 2024
- The Darger family, a husband and three wives with twenty-five children, fought to decriminalize polygamy in Utah-and won.
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How One Polygamous Family Changed the Law | Counter-Narratives | The New Yorker - Розваги
Considering almost 80% of our ancient cultures practiced polygamy in one fashion or another, I find it to be very backwards that you can have one man that knocks up three separate women but not married and that's not illegal, but here you have one man that's married to three separate women with a loving family and somehow there's something wrong with that , very backwards
Polygamous societies historically are much more violent than monogamous relationships. Most psychologist and intelectuals know and understand this fact. This is not a good thing.
In Islam a man can marry up to 4 wives and have children as long as everyone is on the same page and okay with it
@@vice2versaany source for this?
Indeed
@@vice2versa
How does it lead to a more violent psychology?
Sounds like BS
I'm not a huge fan of polygamy BUT these are consenting adults. None of these women are wearing prairie dresses or got married at 14.
The World Government narrative is population reduction. So anything that can lead to that goal will be heavily promoted, like LGBTQ+, pro-abortions, feminism, career woman etc. Anything on the contrary to that goal, like polygamy, younger marriagable age, traditional family value etc will be suppressed.
@@fadlya.rahman4113 wallahi I have never thought about that. JazakAllah khayr.
@@fadlya.rahman4113 Minecraft Villager: Hrmm...
@@fadlya.rahman4113 Ya if one guy was able to marry a bunch of L’s it would kind of hurt that objective.
@@fadlya.rahman4113 Except those of us who support all of those things also support polyamory. Polygyny is just typically sexist and nonconsensual
man is no one talking about how the wives are twins.....
I know it’s not technically incest but like...
Oh.... I’m talking
Narcissist
And the twins are cousins to the third wife. So what does that make all their children to each other? So messed up.
@Mia Li how are they sick? They seem like perfectly healthy people to me
if all the wives/or husbands are happy in a polygamy marriage, then it's fine
It's not fine, sane people don't want to live next to a brothel.
Look at all the amazing children they have together it's beautiful
Absolutely
I don't see any diversity though. Racist.
🤢🤢🤢🤮
Yesssss!!!
They are never alone and the women have more options for marriage.
Polygamy should definitely be legal. This is a healthy happy family. It would be criminal to break this family up. You know what should be illegal and abolished? Child marriages.
🙂
But the practice of polygamy leads to child marriage. The reason the romans ban the practice was the huge marriage asymmetry it creates - a small percent of affluent men accumulate multiple wives leaving a pool of unmarried men. To reduce the pool of unmarried people ancient government decrease the age of marriage for female, which lead to child marriage.
@@ke6944 That makes sense because children marrying back then was seen as ok. Nowadays, a 18 yo with a 17 can lead to the 18 yo in prison. So polygamy wouldn’t lead to chile marriage.
But we have to limit births in all marriages. Overpopulation is a problem
A big nooooo!
I want to see a story where there are three husbands and one wife. Just a thought.
@Anna Gonzalez yes its also deeper than that, its very anti women...highly satanic.
@@DeathByToob can u show me other examples in Hindu scriptures of a woman having multiple husbands. Even in Mahabharata, draupadi was shown as an exception. She was married to one brother only first - but had to marry others because of Kunti's mistaken instructions that all brothers should share whatever they have got. Kunti had said it without realising that Arjun had brought a wife. Even in the epic, it is always specified that Draupadi's situation was unique and unique by definition means that it is not the norm. So instead of talking of "liberal overlords", please don't misrepresent what it was and assume that no one has read the original epic. There is no other major examples in indian scriptures besides that. In real life, there are anthropological reports of some remote communities in himalayas having polyandric marriages, but that's it. This youtube video is documenting a contemporary reality. Is it a contemporary reality in India? is there any newspaper report of an Indian woman married to three men? So what may have happened 1000s of years ago in India has nothing to do with it
Yes. Because is economic more efficient for population one wife tree husband, the children's will be less and with more economic support, and love for their fathers
Sometimes there are situations like this, but he’s also married to other men as well.
There's plenty of that
I’m glad it’s decimalized I feel it’s their choice. Wonder how the state/country can even give them a ticket?? So strange like if they are out shopping, eating at a restaurant or the movies is that how they could get a ticket??
The police find out and give an investigation. Or, if people see them, they report it.
As long as everyone is a consenting adult that’s all cool.
lol that's how low the bar is now, never mind that in numerous parts of the world, 13-16-year-olds are adults.
alexm ok obviously I don’t support pedophilia and while those people may be legally adults I wouldn’t consider them as such. When I say adults I mean people over 18 and also obviously the large power imbalance between a thirteen year old and an adult would mean that the 13 year old couldn’t consent anyway
Yes but what about when a couple of those wives, or maybe all three, independently of each other, meet more husbands? What if each of those three women married two more men each? And those additional men would each only be married to one of these women? And then those additional husbands meet more wives? Who takes who’s name?
fordhouse8b ok so firstly that isn’t happening here and I haven’t heard of it happening anywhere so it’s a made up problem but also why would that be bad if everyone was fine with it? Yeah it seems weird but it’s not harming anyone.
@@Artemisdianaxxx If it were legal, sooner or later it would happen, if nothing else, then out of sheer laziness. If marrying multiple partners was legal, how long before some people jus stop bothering to get a divorce before remarrying? The problem would be that marriage would no longer be a family unit at all, since I could be legally married to a person who is legally married to another person who is legally married to another person, and so on and so on... If you are one of three wives, and simultaneously married to three other men, where do you live? Your two other husbands have no legal or familial bonds with each other or your firs husband, and certainly not with your first husbands other two wives. You yourself would have no legal affiliation with your sister wives, because you are not married to them. I’m not saying it is wrong, only that it has the potential to become very messy and complicated. Custody and allimony issues would be a nightmare. A possible partial solution for some issues might be for everyone involved to be considered the legal spouse of everyone else. In the case of this family, that would mean that each new wife married not just the man, but each other as well. Of course in this particular family two of the wives are sisters, so maybe not... Also, parental and custody issues would be even more tangled in thorny in some ways.
The journalist in this video said that he was going to be writing a book about different kinds of families. Who is the author and what is that book I'm interested in Reading it.
Andrew Solomon
on 3:27, in the background, who knew, they have a drinking fountain in the background. That is so odd in see in a house.
Polygamy is allowed in islam but completely forbidden for man to marry two sisters at the same time
Because they have inbreeding problems
@@Iahusha777Iahuah Inbreeding? Those sisters are not breeding with each other.
that doesn't make polygamy moral. just because you make a rule not to marry two sisters at one time.
@@mariemunzar6474 Whatbis moral? Two women marrying each other?
@@whispersofveracity63 that's not moral either. That is even worse than polygamy.
Wait…so if his wives are cousins, wouldn’t that mean their children are cousins/siblings?
Well yeah
Pretty disgusting.
No because the husband is not biologically related to them. How incompetent could you be?
@@ml-mw7ms The husband is not biologically related.
The kids will be related two each other dude they have same dad it doesn't make a difference if their mums are cousins it like saying you divorce your wife and marry her cousin totally normal. Kids
No way will I ever share my husband.
And sisters sharing a husband is just sick!
Lovely family, it's so sad taht they were treated so horribly when their baby passed, it breaks my heart. I'm glad they spoke up and fought hard to have their voices heard. I wish them happiness and many blessings.
However, one’s cousins shouldn’t become your siblings nor marry another cousin further one shouldn’t have to check one’s bloodline before having children together!
Yes. These are like a hive-mind of exceptional woman working together to chose their man. The Hebrew Scriptures has multiple examples of polygamous families. The Muslims have a formalized structure. Jehovah Witness and other Para-Christian groups have observed this as well.
There should be 0 issue with consenting adults to practice polygamy,
You guys look great!!!!
I couldn’t care less what other people do as long as it isn’t hurting innocent people. With that being said I have a very hard time believing no innocent people are being hurt here
I still wouldnt care even if it was hurting people. Its none of my business
ما شاء الله
Yessss! Make polygamy legal… so that polyandry can be a norm someday 🤣….. it will greatly help in overpopulation that exist in the world😂….
Nothing wrong with this I wish I was confident enough to live this i feel it could be very beneficial in many ways but im to jealous
You can. It's called only fans which is what this is
@@carinawoodmansee2884how so?
My man doing his job
Legalize polygamy all over USA.
Why that guy is bold, what happened to your hair brother.
0:28 who is this popinjay?
How did they get married in the us with us laws sayin that it is illegal
It's only illegal to have more than one marriage license .where in the Bible does it require you to have a state marriage license?
👰🏾🤵🏾♂️👰🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾
Lot's of FLDS women have come forward and talked about atrocities in their communities.
This isn't the same family, so what's your point?
It is fun to have 3 women for wife
This is so beautiful and my absolute dream
Polygyny is a seriously messed up marriage system. Religious polygyny is even worse.
Lion 👍🏻👌🏻
It's hilarious for the "fancy and well educated" new yorker writer to talk about how the nuclear family originates in the 60s. That is a trip. XD maybe the term was coined around then but we have a history of puritanical values which very much said that a man has one wife and he never divorces her. I'm 100% sure that the nuclear family predates usa herself. So yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhh.....
Seems very degrading to women.
Not necessarily
There was a time when this was normal
It’s only when the children grow up that the truth comes out. You guys can say what you want but this is abusive, unhealthy and dangerous. I can give you a million examples but one to think of is the Duggar family. Nothing good comes of that many siblings. No one can properly watch or raise that many kids. Of course they all make it look good and nice but it isn’t as happy as it seems. Don’t be fooled. The kids of this stuff will eventually speak up and let you know the truth of growing up in this environment.
Yes and many of the children turn their backs on polygamy once they are older. Why is that? The children of Kody Brown don't want it for themselves so if it's so fantastic why is that?
Many children turn their back on monogamous marriage because of the abuse and we can point to millions
The children are grown up, they have 17 grandchildren already. Did you pay attention?
Baca World, your argument doesn't hold water, by your same failed logic you also assume that farmers can't operate the farm with a large family, so we should have all starved to death years ago...right? Wrong.
It's sliiiiightly disturbing, can't really put my finger on any particular part, but makes me feel a bit weird.
One of the women is a cousin to the other two who are twins, mebe?
@@waywardmind Maybe, but I have a weird feeling that there's something else about it..
Proooobably.
👍❤💐.
Imagine they have synced periods I do not envy him
😂 true!
So why stop there, What if one of the women wants another guy and then he wants another woman? Where does it all end?
@Leo . until they disagree about consent.
Well, the nuclear family only comprises about 98 percent of all functional families so...I guess if you wanna call the less than 2 percent an alternative to the norm, ok! LOL
boy got hos
can we please change the law back?
Why it's biblical
In 2023/2024 polygamy/polyamorous is gonna be illegal
Uh, did this guy really suggest that the idea of "normality" was invented by mathematicians in the 1950s? 🤦🏻♂️ Every culture in history has had norms...
Right. That made no scene. Western culture had a long history of one spouse at a time. Eastern culture allowed these type of marriages. They always want to lie when they are trying to make a point.
Yeah Monogamy goes all the way back to Ancient Greece and Rome.
I’m pretty sure Leave It To Beaver didn’t inspire the nuclear family.
I know, I didn't like the way they presented that either. I think what they were trying to say was those shows and that era only showed one kind of family. When in reality, there's lots of different kinds of styles throughout history. That's what I think they meant to convey. Although, I agree that the most common and normal is the nuclear family. And it's been around since forever lol
What a nice perspective. Thank y’all for sharing best of luck to your family ❤️
If two men can get married and that is now legal this should be legal to people should be able to love who they want and being a family with who they want but they're not hurting anybody
Yes and you should be able to marry a pig or a horse too.
@@proapocalypse1448 they are grown AF ....leave em be...not our business
@@proapocalypse1448 and you molesting animals is unacceptable sir
@@BlackbettyBamdalam Nice to see you have a line you won't cross mind you it had to be drawn at animals.
It's hurting society for sane people.
Living with my sister for the rest of my life would be a deal breaker for me 🙅🏽♀️😅
Some people actually get along
I see a woman name with a man's image. Are you transgender? Inquiring mind would like clarity.
I know two twin sisters that are inseparable. It depends on your bond with siblings, i love my siblings.
Biblical.
Lol
I've never lived a polygamous lifestyle but I love what they did. They fought for their freedom and they won. Rock on y'all
Well, their freedom is gonna get them banned and illegalized in 2023/2024.
It's at our expense. Destroying marriage that way leads to societal collapse. Our societal collapse has already begun, still no reason to throw everything to the wind.
@@mariemunzar6474
Facts
@@mariemunzar6474 how does it lead to societal collapse?
@@ally9771 the dissolution of the family, on which society stands
Wait...all the wives are related? Two of them are sisters??
twins
Even more gross.....twins.
Narcissist
@@WallyTony Why it is gross? What leads you to think of it?
Stay blessed. Thats the future. Polygamy legalized
Absolutely
Yes
indeed
Actually for Western civilization is a very distant past. More than 2500 years. You belong in a third world country with pimps like you.
Please explain why this should be legalised?
I think that maybe it's natural for a man to be able to have multiple wives
Its also natural for men that get left out to grow angry and become dangerous in polygamous societies. Polygamous societies are historically far more violent than monogamous societies. It wouldnt be wise to encourage such societies.
It is. Men are instinctively going to want to implant the seed in as many women as possible.
Its about money systems you see a family like that can easy make a corporation ,army, buy more land, start a new people and end up with millions of them. No welfare needed no help as you have family members that are doctors, lawers,cooks, farmers its is endless and tons of money putting it together as one. They do not wish you to see that you are one and the more of you there are the more freedom and love of each other there will be.
What happens if 3 of them divorce him...who gets the house? How much child support can he pay and still support other kids? Is he really paying for college for 20 kids?
Or health insurance for 20 kids?...lets get real
face it...he isn't buying 20 kids a daily lolly pop so its completely irresponsible
Who cares... if multiple partners make you happy, everyone respecting each other, and you grow as a family, then so be it.
We are still stuck in this 12th century mentality.
They are relatives
@@21getback Ok. And?
Nobody is respecting those women. They look like retards.
Their are people that are suffering in ALLLLLLL types of relationships
You do know that polygamy was illegal in the US long before the 1950s right?
An maybe that should change.. who says what u should do as a free adult
Yeah, I was thinking as I was watching this, hasn't the so-called nuclear family been around for a very very long time? like, WAAAAAAY before the 1950s??
@@redarbz6545 Yeah, like choosing not to get vaccinated under the threat of losing your livelihood? We are free adults, didn't you say that?
As much as the social conservative framework creeps me out, I think that these people are doing a good thing in their campaigning.
Males are naturally polygamous...what you see is socially enforced monogamy and wallet reach the highest benefits and is highly unstable
@@colbalt95 right on we are suffering because feminism and enforced societal rules and obligations
I feel that polygamy or polygyny has got to be recognized and there's nothing wrong with it. In fact, even science has shown there are benefits to be in a polygynous relationship. All these stereotypes and stigmatization of polygamy/polygyny has got to end. If there's a man willing to be responsible and capable to have multiple wives, why not. As long as anyone understands this and know how to properly live this life with no harm done, then it's good.
Well are women allowed to take more than 1 husbands??
@@prothomghosh873 ya actually they are
I agree with polygyny. There is nothing wrong about it.
@@kereniofiel3729 Okay, then why most polygamist form a cult?
why there are always young girls at risk who r heavily brain washed involved??
Why there is an unspoken tension between wives??
why the kids grow in an environment where they are neglected??
why does the government end up paying for most childcare??
why do the men involved have some toxic sense of masculinity??
And for gods sake why is it more a religion than a relationship??
I wonder what the God they pray to says about it....hmmmmm
Wonderful! Everyone gets to own their truth polygamous relationships should too
Who is, and who isn't allowed to live their truth and why should yhey they live their truth?
Several prominent men in the Old Testament were polygamists. Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, and others all had multiple wives. Moses had 2 wives
Yes , and not one of them was rebuked by God for it.
Solomon got in to trouble only cause he and his wives were unequally yoked
Those are all OT examples. Once Jesus was born and grew he taught one wife and one man shall be married.
@@reneesantiago6496 hi
That was back then. And in general it caused problems for them. Just because some people in the Bible did it doesn't mean we should be doing it. Also Old Testament prophets aren't Jesus and so they aren't the primary example we should be following. They were imperfect people, while Jesus was perfect in every way. Jesus taught one man, one woman.
@@reneesantiago6496 book, chapter, verse ...
There are a lot of women that want a family but were either career driven or divorced or had children young and the so called good men are already taken and all that are left are mostly men that want a woman with no kids, a young woman or are the same type men that put the women in that situation in the first place. Polygamy is not always religious based there are other reasons for it too. If people are well off financially and happy. Then they should be allowed to do it if everyone is consenting.
Correct, consent is agreement, which is how contracts with the wives is the lawful way to it. Nobody needs a marriage license with the state, by erring that way -- we set ourselves up under a secular triad with the state, then that allows the state to come in as third party because most people who get married that way are 'in-the-heat-of-the-moment', they haven't read where it stipulates a business partnership on the state's terms.
Draft your own contracts and stipulate with each wife what the terms are that are agreeable, then put clauses about separation of assets in the event of any breach. The dummies in Hollywood try getting prenuptial agreements but those are one sided which is why most women reject those. Bill Gates is a computer genius but he is incompetent towards his private life, he wanted pool parties but he got shamed in the end. If he was honest in the beginning he could have had his cake and eat it too, but no -- he had to be a self absorbed.
I just searched for this as I'm currently watching Big love
I would love to see this family do a reality show I would definitely be a supporter and watcher🥰🥰 they were on the Browns family episodes and they seem to flow much better the wife’s are more on the same page 🥰🥰
They have no desire to do such due to the way they would want to dramatize their family
Not only that but he seems like a very I don’t know how to put it basically Cody Brown’s total opposite I would love to see a show on them on Joe
@@beverlynewer4681 SEEMS!!!!
If adults want to have a polygamy family that's their business......but WHY are they always closely related and/or young teenage girls???
Maybe, because they share the same mindset?
Girls reach maturity faster than boys of the same age, so that is why most men are older than their wives, It's biology because females go through menopause averaging around 45 for most. Child molesters should be castrated though.
Brainwashing and religious manipulation!
Polygamy is totally not my jam, but I really appreciate the angle they're taking to change marriage laws. Who we are married to and making families with shouldn't have anything to do with the state - that has never made sense to me. Family up with whomever you are compelled to, if y'all are committed to support each other and the family you create together, have at it.
We need to fight to make this fully legal. It is not right that polygamy is not legal
polygamy isnt a good thing.
do you support polyandry as vigorously?
@@stevewalker6240 nature doesn't mean its a good thing. its like depression. its nature but it aint a good thing
@Skgn 978 no its not.
@@DorkyDogBoy Last time I checked the ant colonies and gorilla tribes fare better than government imposed ignorance. How's that Biden check working out for you? Being a civilian means that Biden is your daddy.
How can i get married to My Wives in USA ??
Search for this man on youtube, he has a book, Tazadah Shah (DeprogrammedEnlightener) called: A Spokes Man 4 Men Real Swagger. It has towards the end of it a part about the legal contract and laws regarding this prosperous life security.
Good luck!
If they are happy, then why not.
It they are happy.let them be.
Under what mechanism are four people supporting twenty five kids and thirty grandchildren? My suspicion is that the state is, and that is the states (unspoken) objection.
@Mia L LSD Church? 😂🤣
😂 looking at that house no the state is not supporting them
@@callmeangelic6525 You don't know that. Most polygamist families...the legally wed couple own the house...all the other woman are single baby momma's that get welfare
It's called making good practical use of your family, not waiting around for another one of Biden's peanut handouts. How do you think farmers do it?
Why don't they talk about the fact that these guys think they're going to be gods in the next world and they can only do that if they have three wives or more. It's all bull.
Did you even pay attention to the video, when did he claim that, and if he did what business of yours is it?
Can you hold any of your past relationships as long as he did let alone more than one at the same time?
This video shows healthy relationships, I think your scoffing comes of as jealousy.
It always seems religion is the unifier in polygamy but I'd love to see a secular representation in the western world. Just interested in what ideologies they hold that bind them together through the jealousy and second-guesses--the only other unifier I can see are the children. One of them represented their familial situation as "the lifestyle" which typically references structure around extracurricular adult activities. Are any of the wives bisexual? Just so many questions.
No doubt religion does play a huge role.
If we want secular examples, I guess it will need to become part of the culture
No, most women in these families are not bisexual. They're usually heterosexual, in fact, most of the families would shut them down and outcast them.
god bless yall, im so jealous lol
We really do need to legalize this.
True
Yes we do
Yes we do more wife's need more money but they make money more profit better healthier lifestyle
If this was widespread then the incel problem would get even worse and you will far more violent crimes being committed. Polygamous societies historically have all been far more violent than monogamous ones.
Lucky Basturd I wish I can have many wife's the only thing he's not lucky about Is the children
Islam encourages polygamy
Never live in fear!
I wish I was him
You can trust and beilve these women wouldnt do this dumb stuff with a broke man lol
He must be rich.my husband has a hard time with all my amazon orders and im just one woman.lol
This is the only honest none virtual signaling comment here everything else really doesn't matter as there are dozens of social, religious, political, emotional, behavioral solutions, sincere respects
I had such a nice and funny comment that that just vanished... well basically I don't think a 66.67% non-marriage rate among men versus a 90% marriage rate among women is a very good idea.
Plural marriage is absolutely one Godly blessing and beautiful life style!
Some women enjoy being prostitutes? It wouldn't even matter, sane people don't like having prostitutes around.
Why is that so?
Lovely 😊 family man
I'm not sure this is a good way to go forward but because it is happening in Utah does not surprise me.
Why?
Nothing to do with Utah for the sake of argument, polygamous Muslims can get EBT foodstamp benefits because they recognize that household under amnesty and refugees, others who are financially sound just now better.
Absolutely repulsive he married cousins and they went along with it. At least they're not legally married
Amazing 😂
Amazing
Nothing new human for most of past is polygamy.
This man have 3 wives
As long as he’s able to support his spawn. But that’s another story.
Their house looks really nice though, and spacious.
I'm Single 😍😥
They are a beautiful family, they deserve to be happy and accepted regardless They're practicing the polygamy.
Who is this guy that is writing the book? Has he never heard of the history about The Mormons and the state of Utah? Utah wasn't even admitted into the Union until they made Polygamy illegal. Why is he talking so smugly? 🤔
It's a land dispute war with Washington DC, that's called coercion.
Monogamy didn't originate in the 50s, you can trace them back to Christianity 2000 years ago and even to Romans.
If all parties are consenting and no one is hurt, I don't care what your relationship is
Every mans dream until all their menstrual cycles sync up 😂
I actually know these people irl!! They live in my neighborhood lol. One of their kids is actually one of my best friends