or when you are not willing to be a woman's pawn, they will insult you for not treating women right and you won't be getting p*ssy with that mentality so guys fall for it
RUN RUN ... This is exactly MY EX wife . I went through this 35 years ago. I accepted the " I promise I will change" Married her. Lived for 25 years through the nightmare, was bankrupted.. divorced and took 12 years AFTER the divorced to get ON MY FEET. However it is 100% MY FAULT for not bailing out and accepting the false promise. I am finally 15 years POST divorce and debt free.. RUN NOW ....
Your story makes me think that if you truly love someone but they have this one fatal flaw, instead of taking a chance on marriage, take a chance on serious talk and counseling and have her prove she's changed before you buy the ring. Of course she might be a faker but odds are better. But for god's sake do NOT shack up and do NOT have children unless you feel secure you're on the same page and working as a team!
If a woman doesn’t respect you (which this one CLEARLY doesn’t) a marriage stands zero chance. Eventually she’ll get bored even if you’re taking care of everything. She’ll leave, take half, and find someone else that gives her the tingles.
Don't marry this woman, break up with her. I manage our money and we're debt free. My husband works hard like I do and we don't give it away to pay interest. She will 100% ruin your life my friend.
Dump her. She is using you for money. Believe me, the longer you put up with it, the less you will be able to look yourself in the mirror and recognize yourself. Don't lose yourself trying to save someone that doesn't care about you or the relationship.
Listening to these calls..it really shows that so many people are more comfortable talking to strangers about their problems than actually addressing them directly with the person. I like the way they handled this - stressing that he has to communicate with her, and she can take it or leave it. They're absolutely right that this is more than just about finances and shows her character traits - seems like she just wants someone to do everything for her.
He’s weak and she’s exploiting that. They do it every single time. Listen to his voice, I’m not trying to be insulting, but that’s what the real issue is. He doesn’t have much of a backbone. Get rid of her if she’s bringing your life down.
Facts, women will cut off liabilities fast if it doesn't serve them. Men are taught from a young age to save a losing option and expect it to be their winning asset. It's the opposite. We have to value ourselves more.
She can’t pay her own bills right now and she’s talking marriage and kids?? This screams MISERY AHEAD. The most important financial decision you make is who you marry - save yourself from the agony and suffering while you still can! And I’m a female saying this!
Friend, the same thing happened to me. I told her I would not marry her until she paid off her debt. She worked 2 jobs to pay it off, and then we got married. Within 5 years, all her bad habits returned, and my life was HELL! This is a character flaw that I was too naive to recognize. The red flags are waving right in front of you. Don't make the same mistake I did. Walk away while you can.
John is right. This guy needs to set clear boundaries. She'll change or she'll leave. I'd rather have the heartache of a breakup over a failed marraige, divorce and child support.
@@michaelpalumbo4880 I get what you are saying. My relationship kind of crash but we still in good communication too and I learnt a lot including how to make passive income with crypto now I make not less 3k$ on a daily basis. We might get back to together if he can just work on his drinking problem
@@michaelpalumbo4880 It creates both. If you pick the right partner instead of just the hottest person you can find they will add not only companionship and care for when you're hurt/ill but they will contribute to your life. A good woman will either contribute financially or through caring for children or both. Both of those things will add a lot to your life. But again you have pick with your brain and not what's in your pants.
“Nail on the head”. Dude, hit the eject button. So many other wonderful women to make a life with. Two guys having a great talk with someone who needs it.
Hey man, if you're paying the bills now, think of what she's going to expect when you're married, she's really gonna expect you to pay for every thing and everything she wants that her little heart desires that y'all cannot afford and then when you cannot afford it, she will step out on you and cheat on you and blame all of it on you Kick her out or run drop her like a bad habit it will not be worth it in the end.
One of these days, very soon, she'll "discover" she's pregnant. He'll put his foot down, expect her to get a job, and help pay the bills, she'll get mad and announce the pg. She wants to be a stay at home mom. She's totally showing him that.
@@firefly9838 What I think we’re getting at is that the lady in question wants to be a stay at home mom because she thinks it’s easier than working. Being a stay at home mom is difficult but women like her romanticize it and think it will be easy. Once she finds out it’s not, she will be a lazy mom because she’s always been lazy
@@luibond9418 yeah I guess that's problematic. I just see a lot of people trashing all stay at home moms as lazy on the internet and that shit pisses me off. Because lots of them do it well and take it seriously.
During a bear market, the headlines will focus on negative news, whether it's declining economic growth, geopolitical upheaval, cultural and legal turmoil, or some combination of all three. I listened to a podcast of someone that grew his reserve from $120k to almost $460k during this Red season, can you share tips on how to make such aggressive proceeds in short periods?
Keeping some gold is usually a wise decision. You would be better off keeping away from equities for a bit or, even better, seeking advice from an expert given the current market conditions and everything that is at risk with the current economy.
@Phil Stones Thank you for this tip. it was easy to find your coach. Did my due diligence on her before scheduling a phone call with her. She seems proficient considering her résumé.
The problem is they're living together outside of marriage. She's looking to him as head of the household for answers, and he's looking at her as a roommate with benefits. Pay your hard line half of the bills, otherwise you have a character issue. Vs, getting married, pooling resources, and setting up a budget.
Living together is already a character issue. My brother won't marry his girlfriend. He didn't see her tears at dad's service when someone asked if she was married
Exactly also if she moved with him and a job didn't work out but she moved because of his job. It makes sense she would expect for him to take care of the finances because her job prospects were not involved in this decision
As my grandma would say, 'there are more fish in the ocean hon". Honestly though it's the laziness now that is killing the relationship. This caller is worth better but doesn't realize it fully yet. I hope he is not having to pay child support before he figures it out.
Choosing a lifetime partner (spouse) is so critical to the future of life, don't ignore any red flags that jeopardize a great life with the right person. Don't get stuck with someone who does not share the same values. Communication is key and there's no better time to start having those hard but serious discussions. Expectations and assumptions need to be clearly understood with priorities agreed upon.
I love the point you made..I fear debt and your personality reflects in your finances. This is why I won’t take my ex back regardless of chemistry and feelings.
I felt this. Had to have a really tough conversation with my fiancé 2 months before our wedding tackling this issue and I had to be mentally prepared to walk away if she wouldn’t change. She felt like I was controlling her at first. We got some good help, eventually got married, and are living a budgeted life that brings us both peace. I know things won’t be perfect but I’m happy i didn’t just choose resentment over guilt.
@@angel-ij4xv she is my wife. and she actually got out of 7k of debt by herself. We got 5k of hers left and 3k of mine. Appreciate the concern lol, but we are good.
@@edd06001 , living together without a plan is called shacking up. * Living together with a plan that both people agree to and bind themselves to is called marriage. * But what about all those marriages that end in disaster? * It's unfortunate today that many marriages lack this level of planning and commitment. Those are basically just a shack up relationship that was formalized on paper by the State, but it isn't the traditional understanding of marriage: two people, united in body, mind, and soul, pledging their worldly goods to one another, through good times and bad, whether sick or healthy, until death parts them.
@@sidwhiting665 the world today is not as black and white as you make it out to be. Although marriage is a sacred vow, many successful marriages started out with people living together prior to marriage. For many, its an important part of assessing long-term compatibility. Its easy to just hang out and go on dates and come and go as you please. Living with someone 24/7 is a whole nother level that people don't just magically adapt to. I have witnessed a lot of people live together prior to marriage myself included, and I have seen it go both ways.
Advice for a lot of these calls can really be summed up in what John says: "Have a backbone!" Seriously, what's with all these guys too afraid to tell this stuff to their girlfriend. You guys are supposed to be in a relationship where communication is key.
Only if they're desperate. Guys with any amount of self worth will either know they can do better or that they're better off alone and just dump them. But a desperate guy will try to hold on no matter what cos he might think it'll take years to get into another relationship so maybe he can salvage the crappy one he's in.
You know a big reason these guys are tolerating this? Many are raised by single moms who didn’t have their crap together and parentified their sons who then in turn feel it’s their jobs to rescue broken women.
I dated a girl for almost a year. During our relationship I couldn’t count how many times she guilt tripped me for not buying her expensive jewelry ( like her last ex she said) and taking her on fancy vacations! I sent her packing so fast after I realized my situation
Move your money. Hide it. Then tell her your identity was compromised and they cleaned you out. Tell her they said you’ll get it back after a 6 month investigation possibly.
1000s of Dave's callers over the years: "I can't understand why my financial life is screwed up because I moved in with a woman I'm not married or committed to, but I just wanted free booty all the time and thought this would be a good idea..." * Dave's team (*sigh).... "Okay, Son...Lesson #1.... don't play house with girls." * These people are sooooooooooooo lost and clueless. They'll swap bodily fluids, buy cars and houses together, spawn children.... but getting married?!?!? WOOOOOAH!!! Too much commitment!
It'll be worse if they get married. And even worse than that if they have to get a divorce. "No financial contracts with financial incompetents",,, and he knows that now because they did live together.
Exactly! They are both idiots. So he’s saying he couldn’t support his woman staying home raising the kids on 1 salary. I have rarely made money in my life. Was in college and then got married few days after graduating and been home since I got pregnant rather quick after marriage. My husband does not view my capacity of earning money as the necessity of being a good wife. His money is my money because we are married and committed to each other. He would never ask me to work because we both have our roles to play in this marriage. All of this comes down to a degenerate society. Making it seem like he’s some good guy is asinine. They honestly deserve each other😂
I lived with a woman for only 3 months in dose 3 months she was always short on the bill money so I moved out. I was not going to be living paycheck to paycheck because she has a spending problem.
I’m a woman who has had two bf’s like this. They’re an ex for a reason. Both brought nothing to the table by mediocre 🍆… I worked overtime, cooked, clean, took disrespect weekly. There’s nothing out there, if you have a good person keep them around! People are garbage with no values
Dave’s entire program is based on the free spirit (spender) and a saver. He says that’s how every couple is. You can overcome when you work together and communicate your needs to your partner.
Dude needs to dump her. She won't improve until she has an opportunity to hit rock bottom. You have to let her fall, but you can't let her bring you down with you. This means that you will have to go back out into the dating market and be single and you won't have a girlfriend anymore... for a time. She is manipulating you into taking care of her own responsibilities for her and make her problems become your problems. And she is doing this in a manipulative guilt tripping way. There is a right way and a wrong way to take on responsibilities for the other, and manipulation is not the way to do it.
I meet a girl just like her, I helped her with money, making a budget...the lot, years later after we stopped dating we talles again through social media, she lives on other city, running from debt collectors...there is no woman on the planet worth such stress man, if someone dont want to change let her be and live your best life.
Walkaway dude walkaway there are way too many chicks out there to settle for one like this she's already shown you that she wants you to pay for everything and her goal is going to be for you to knock her up that way she's got you completely by the balls and then she can be like well I'm not going to work I'm going to stay at home mom your life is really going to suck if you marry her or knock her up just end it before you invest any more time Financial issues are the number one reason why people leave or cheat on their spouse it brings all kinds of issues when you're not on the same page with money
I already know where this is going if she doesn’t work full time and attempt to pay off her debts… He’s going to be hit with all the bills (already has) and anger and frustration down the road of life…
Thats why you have the tough conversations before the first date. Some people will never learn. We been through a pandemic people stop being dumb. If you not taking care of your finances after this point you don't care about your life.
You don’t want to hear this but she needs to move out unless you are married. They have noted several reason why living together while not married is a bad idea.
So beyond important to vet anyone you plan on living with over a 2 year period before you live together, people are constantly rushing to live together thinking things will be easier with combined money and then you realize to late you have made your life 100 times harder on you
No one asked if the girlfriend would be willing to go through Financial Peace University to see if she can be turned away from living in debt. I think that would be the first step. If she says no because she is happy in debt, then the relationship is over. If she is willing, there's hope and the deciding factor would be how she handles money after completing the course. I agree with another commenter that said the girlfriend is grooming him so she can be a stay-at-home mom. The surprise "Guess what! I'm pregnant" announcement isn't far off, so do something now before that happens.
I once asked my husband what attracted him to me. His answer was not very romantic but it was honest. He said I was the first woman he dated that was living on her own and financially independent.
First mistake as a man was calling the Ramsey net work for any advice at all. Young men should not be calling this Network for advice. They do not have your best interest at heart. The simple answer is what other people of already said you don’t have to do anything. Take care of yourself build yourself up be the best human you can be. You can do better than this man, good luck.
Girlfriend should leave him, he wouldn't make a good husband. If they ever have kids together she's gonna have to be dropping her defenseless 6week old baby off at daycare while she's still healing from birth. Don't play house anymore because house activities can make a baby with an unqualified father. Women please be smarter than this and don't pay to live with a man.
@@Andy-lr8qp Yeah that's right! A man always feels more like a man when his budget is so tight, moving a girl in that is willing to pay half his living expenses is a welcome relief.
It is a dilemma. If they separate, he might miss her badly. If they get married, he will be the only parent working. There will be many arguments, but at least it won't be boring.
At the beginning he says they just moved, her job didn't work out, and she got a couple months behind. So isn't it possible they moved for his new job? I do wonder what her side of this story is, as I would want some grace in that kind of situation. Then again, I'm married. But still, it just seems like some information might be missing here.
It's a myth that all relationships have fights. Married 12 years, not a single fight because we just discuss what's on our minds like adults and don't get upset at each other for expressing what's on our minds. I'd just move along friend
right. my husband and I have never gotten into a fight we just discuss things respectfully. maybe it's because we were both brought up to communicate and had good role models to look up to as kids. I believe that if you truly love and respect each other there's never any need for heated arguments
Part right. He advises against getting married if she is not on board with finances. If she was, then he would tell him to get married or to move out, but stop pretending to be married. That's is the full version of what he has said many times. Now you know the truth.
Can’t relate. Outside of parents raising me as a child, I have no idea what this is like-someone else paying or even sharing the bills. How does this work?😂😂😂😂😂
Any guy in this situation RUN !!!! We all know how hard it is to find a good woman out there to date long term But..... Remember you are the prize in this relationship And when you forget remember who pays for the vast majority of dates and gifts and etc Find a woman who can cook or is willing to learn to cook Or wants to take care of you keeps up with your appointments and etc showing true concern for you And if she complains why just leave..... Your giving to her on dates and etc.s always know what your getting from her outside of beauty and intimacy which you both are getting and will fade for both of you over time In 10 years when you have 2 kids and a couple jobs Will you have a woman who can't handle life or a woman who can team up with you and both of you grow together Also remember when you have a kid with this taker type of women You will be paying child support.... not both of you and she will be blowing your kids money like she blows her own money MOST women want a guy that make what they make or more so you will end up taking care of more So don't walk into a relationship with someone like this a taker and nothing is my fault type person You will be miserable
Either be happy to be her "sugar daddy" or not (and leave). Until you make that decision, that's all you really are. The only next level you have is to give her instant access to your bank account.
@Mike Hunt I mean this guy is to blame. The woman is clearly doing what she wants and the guy keeps bending backwards to make it work. He needs to speak his mind or leave.
If she wants to get married and create a family with you. She needs to save her money up. Not be in debt, she needs a savings for when she can't work and has to stay home with the baby.
I know this goes against one of the Ramsey team's core beliefs, but thank God he lived with her before marriage so he could find this stuff out. Better to learn it now while splitting is still low impact.
Funny how people characterize living together without marriage as a problem with commitment when part of the reason people get married is to have legal protections in place in case they split up. So some people get married because they are not sure their relationship is going to make it???
@@georgewagner7787 But if the reason they are getting married is to ensure they have legal protections, they are acknowledging their relationship might not make it. If two people are truly committed, why would they ever think their relationship might not make it??? It sometimes seems like people who live together without a piece of paper are more committed than people who are legally married. They are staying together because they WANT to, not because they feel like they HAVE to.
A person that likes to watch you struggle and sit back see you drowning. Is a person that doesn’t give a fuck about you. It’s really that simple but some folks make “love” complicate it. It’s not complicated they don’t love you but you think they do!
Unfortunate to see how people can lose their spine because they're afraid of being alone
THIS!
or when you are not willing to be a woman's pawn, they will insult you for not treating women right and you won't be getting p*ssy with that mentality so guys fall for it
@@cl8wnm5n sih
RUN RUN ... This is exactly MY EX wife . I went through this 35 years ago. I accepted the " I promise I will change" Married her. Lived for 25 years through the nightmare, was bankrupted.. divorced and took 12 years AFTER the divorced to get ON MY FEET. However it is 100% MY FAULT for not bailing out and accepting the false promise. I am finally 15 years POST divorce and debt free.. RUN NOW ....
Are you a reformed simp now? White knighting is so cringe.
Congrats on your freedom!
Your story makes me think that if you truly love someone but they have this one fatal flaw, instead of taking a chance on marriage, take a chance on serious talk and counseling and have her prove she's changed before you buy the ring. Of course she might be a faker but odds are better. But for god's sake do NOT shack up and do NOT have children unless you feel secure you're on the same page and working as a team!
Why did u marry …. Didn’t u already get the benefits of a wife before marriage?
You are 100% correct, but the problem is only few have the ability to listen!
"She is opening more credit card accounts..." This says it all. She has found a sugar Daddy and is living the high life.
He may not be a sugar daddy, but he sure is a patsy.
Doesn't sound like a sugar daddy if she lives on credit cards.
@@curiouscat3384 Better to play house and fail, than marry someone who can't adult.
Sounds like he's afraid to be single
If a woman doesn’t respect you (which this one CLEARLY doesn’t) a marriage stands zero chance. Eventually she’ll get bored even if you’re taking care of everything. She’ll leave, take half, and find someone else that gives her the tingles.
Yep. Without trust and respect there is no relationship
Just leave her and find a better person who is financially responsible
💯 classic.
Thanks rich cooper
Which should always be a reminder that if we have to push for better politicians, we need to CHANGE THOSE LAWS.
Don't marry this woman, break up with her. I manage our money and we're debt free. My husband works hard like I do and we don't give it away to pay interest. She will 100% ruin your life my friend.
You don’t “have” to do anything man
This is the correct answer. He is making these choices.
My favorite response, I do things, because I WANT TO, not have to....
Exactly
Except run. Run now. Run fast.
tell her to pay her own dam bills
Dump her. She is using you for money. Believe me, the longer you put up with it, the less you will be able to look yourself in the mirror and recognize yourself. Don't lose yourself trying to save someone that doesn't care about you or the relationship.
Don’t save her she don’t wanna be saved.
i wish the guy read your comment
Listening to these calls..it really shows that so many people are more comfortable talking to strangers about their problems than actually addressing them directly with the person. I like the way they handled this - stressing that he has to communicate with her, and she can take it or leave it. They're absolutely right that this is more than just about finances and shows her character traits - seems like she just wants someone to do everything for her.
He’s weak and she’s exploiting that. They do it every single time. Listen to his voice, I’m not trying to be insulting, but that’s what the real issue is. He doesn’t have much of a backbone. Get rid of her if she’s bringing your life down.
Facts, women will cut off liabilities fast if it doesn't serve them. Men are taught from a young age to save a losing option and expect it to be their winning asset. It's the opposite. We have to value ourselves more.
@@tonytoni1150 it's a human thing, not just a women thing. Men can take advantage of situations and weak people too.
@@tonytoni1150 "THEY do it all the time"
And you're welcome 🫡🙃
Shows people don't listen ..😂😂😂he clearly says everytime he discusses it it turns to argument
She can’t pay her own bills right now and she’s talking marriage and kids?? This screams MISERY AHEAD. The most important financial decision you make is who you marry - save yourself from the agony and suffering while you still can! And I’m a female saying this!
I’m another female saying run
Friend, the same thing happened to me. I told her I would not marry her until she paid off her debt. She worked 2 jobs to pay it off, and then we got married. Within 5 years, all her bad habits returned, and my life was HELL! This is a character flaw that I was too naive to recognize.
The red flags are waving right in front of you. Don't make the same mistake I did. Walk away while you can.
Was she hot?
Oh bummer. Shame she actually was able to make a push to pay it off, but that habit didnt stick.
Run!! She’s pushing for marriage so she can rely on you to enable her mischief. That’s a life of misery
Next there will be an oops pregnancy! He better wrap it up or face the consequences.
John is right. This guy needs to set clear boundaries. She'll change or she'll leave. I'd rather have the heartache of a breakup over a failed marraige, divorce and child support.
liabilities be marriage fela but many work out
@@michaelpalumbo4880 I get what you are saying. My relationship kind of crash but we still in good communication too and I learnt a lot including how to make passive income with crypto now I make not less 3k$ on a daily basis. We might get back to together if he can just work on his drinking problem
@@michaelpalumbo4880 It creates both. If you pick the right partner instead of just the hottest person you can find they will add not only companionship and care for when you're hurt/ill but they will contribute to your life. A good woman will either contribute financially or through caring for children or both. Both of those things will add a lot to your life. But again you have pick with your brain and not what's in your pants.
Do not marry her. Do not have kids with her. Get her out of your house. She’s still a child and not responsible. Don’t get caught up in her mess
Exactly
Don't get married. Please don't. She obviously won't help you pay bills. If she ain't gonna help, let her get her own place
Yep. She won't help him pay any bills, and she'll create more bills for him to pay with her credit card binging.
He really means “I have to pay my girlfriend’s bills if I want to get laid.”
Yup
True
😂😂
Paying for p....sy ...
Dudes a weenie 🌭 L7
He doesn't have a girlfriend. *She* has a sugar daddy.
As Dave would say, he needs to go to Walmart and pick up a backbone from aisle 3.
“Nail on the head”. Dude, hit the eject button. So many other wonderful women to make a life with. Two guys having a great talk with someone who needs it.
Don't worry about her if you bail dude, she probably has a backup simp in the friendzone all lined up already.
Exactly
Yep, this one is probably a basic leach.
Hey man, if you're paying the bills now, think of what she's going to expect when you're married, she's really gonna expect you to pay for every thing and everything she wants that her little heart desires that y'all cannot afford and then when you cannot afford it, she will step out on you and cheat on you and blame all of it on you Kick her out or run drop her like a bad habit it will not be worth it in the end.
Sounds like a "traditional" relationship some men on the internet wants. You know the ones complaining about independent women.
Get a new girlfriend who is financially responsible bro. This girl is vampire.
One of these days, very soon, she'll "discover" she's pregnant. He'll put his foot down, expect her to get a job, and help pay the bills, she'll get mad and announce the pg. She wants to be a stay at home mom. She's totally showing him that.
Are you talking about my sister in law? 😂
If she does, don't sign the birth certificate without a paternity test.
What's wrong with stay home moms? That shit is a full time job.
@@firefly9838 What I think we’re getting at is that the lady in question wants to be a stay at home mom because she thinks it’s easier than working. Being a stay at home mom is difficult but women like her romanticize it and think it will be easy. Once she finds out it’s not, she will be a lazy mom because she’s always been lazy
@@luibond9418 yeah I guess that's problematic. I just see a lot of people trashing all stay at home moms as lazy on the internet and that shit pisses me off. Because lots of them do it well and take it seriously.
The hosts had great answers; much more polished than my answer; "RUN AWAY! RUN LIKE THE WIND!".
simping aint easy
if she does her role & respect you that's not simping
@@tkdevlop yeah but she is just slacking off on him
Simping?? She be pimping.
During a bear market, the headlines will focus on negative news, whether it's declining economic growth, geopolitical upheaval, cultural and legal turmoil, or some combination of all three. I listened to a podcast of someone that grew his reserve from $120k to almost $460k during this Red season, can you share tips on how to make such aggressive proceeds in short periods?
Keeping some gold is usually a wise decision. You would be better off keeping away from equities for a bit or, even better, seeking advice from an expert given the current market conditions and everything that is at risk with the current economy.
@Phil Stones that's impressive! I could really use the expertise of this advsors , my portfoIio has been down bad....who’s the person guiding you.
@Phil Stones Thank you for this tip. it was easy to find your coach. Did my due diligence on her before scheduling a phone call with her. She seems proficient considering her résumé.
The problem is they're living together outside of marriage. She's looking to him as head of the household for answers, and he's looking at her as a roommate with benefits. Pay your hard line half of the bills, otherwise you have a character issue. Vs, getting married, pooling resources, and setting up a budget.
That's all folks!
Living together is already a character issue. My brother won't marry his girlfriend. He didn't see her tears at dad's service when someone asked if she was married
Exactly also if she moved with him and a job didn't work out but she moved because of his job. It makes sense she would expect for him to take care of the finances because her job prospects were not involved in this decision
As my grandma would say, 'there are more fish in the ocean hon". Honestly though it's the laziness now that is killing the relationship. This caller is worth better but doesn't realize it fully yet. I hope he is not having to pay child support before he figures it out.
Yup
Yep ! If I was him I’d get the you know what out before it’s too late .
Wear condoms
She's showing you who she is right now! What you allow will continue.
Choosing a lifetime partner (spouse) is so critical to the future of life, don't ignore any red flags that jeopardize a great life with the right person. Don't get stuck with someone who does not share the same values. Communication is key and there's no better time to start having those hard but serious discussions. Expectations and assumptions need to be clearly understood with priorities agreed upon.
I love the point you made..I fear debt and your personality reflects in your finances. This is why I won’t take my ex back regardless of chemistry and feelings.
I felt this. Had to have a really tough conversation with my fiancé 2 months before our wedding tackling this issue and I had to be mentally prepared to walk away if she wouldn’t change. She felt like I was controlling her at first. We got some good help, eventually got married, and are living a budgeted life that brings us both peace. I know things won’t be perfect but I’m happy i didn’t just choose resentment over guilt.
run from her she wants to drain you out
@@angel-ij4xv she is my wife. and she actually got out of 7k of debt by herself. We got 5k of hers left and 3k of mine. Appreciate the concern lol, but we are good.
@@Shortballa11 I'm talking about the guy in the video
@@angel-ij4xv gotcha, yea the biggest red flag i heard was she didnt wanna work. Scary spot to be in
She's your GIRLFRIEND, you don't HAVE to pay a DANG thing!!! Foolish to live together unmarried. Foolish.
It's not foolish to live together unmarried. It's foolish to do it without a plan. He is trying to make a plan and she's just blowing it off.
@@edd06001 , living together without a plan is called shacking up.
*
Living together with a plan that both people agree to and bind themselves to is called marriage.
*
But what about all those marriages that end in disaster?
*
It's unfortunate today that many marriages lack this level of planning and commitment. Those are basically just a shack up relationship that was formalized on paper by the State, but it isn't the traditional understanding of marriage: two people, united in body, mind, and soul, pledging their worldly goods to one another, through good times and bad, whether sick or healthy, until death parts them.
@@sidwhiting665 the world today is not as black and white as you make it out to be. Although marriage is a sacred vow, many successful marriages started out with people living together prior to marriage. For many, its an important part of assessing long-term compatibility. Its easy to just hang out and go on dates and come and go as you please. Living with someone 24/7 is a whole nother level that people don't just magically adapt to. I have witnessed a lot of people live together prior to marriage myself included, and I have seen it go both ways.
@@edd06001 To each there own. 🤷🏾♀️ But plans can always fall through. And with marriage your just in the air with no parachute.
@@edd06001Actually, people that live together are statistically more likely to end up divorced.
Advice for a lot of these calls can really be summed up in what John says: "Have a backbone!"
Seriously, what's with all these guys too afraid to tell this stuff to their girlfriend. You guys are supposed to be in a relationship where communication is key.
"Choose guilt over resentment"....what a powerful phrase
I do not like it. Guilt is damaging too and unnecessary. Choose strength and boundaries.
It is a dumb phrase. False & dangerous dichotomy
In this day and age, guys are still falling for these train wrecks? An adult woman who cannot pay her own bills is NOT worth 2 seconds of attention.
The woman and her private parts is undefeated. 😂
Only if they're desperate. Guys with any amount of self worth will either know they can do better or that they're better off alone and just dump them. But a desperate guy will try to hold on no matter what cos he might think it'll take years to get into another relationship so maybe he can salvage the crappy one he's in.
@@luminous6969 amen
You know a big reason these guys are tolerating this? Many are raised by single moms who didn’t have their crap together and parentified their sons who then in turn feel it’s their jobs to rescue broken women.
@@nataliazakula3400 Captn'-sav-a-hoe
I dated a girl for almost a year. During our relationship I couldn’t count how many times she guilt tripped me for not buying her expensive jewelry ( like her last ex she said) and taking her on fancy vacations! I sent her packing so fast after I realized my situation
Smart thing you did. Glad for you that you saw through her nonsense.
Move your money. Hide it. Then tell her your identity was compromised and they cleaned you out. Tell her they said you’ll get it back after a 6 month investigation possibly.
1000s of Dave's callers over the years: "I can't understand why my financial life is screwed up because I moved in with a woman I'm not married or committed to, but I just wanted free booty all the time and thought this would be a good idea..."
*
Dave's team (*sigh).... "Okay, Son...Lesson #1.... don't play house with girls."
*
These people are sooooooooooooo lost and clueless. They'll swap bodily fluids, buy cars and houses together, spawn children.... but getting married?!?!? WOOOOOAH!!! Too much commitment!
Right on!
It'll be worse if they get married. And even worse than that if they have to get a divorce. "No financial contracts with financial incompetents",,, and he knows that now because they did live together.
Good comment
Exactly! They are both idiots. So he’s saying he couldn’t support his woman staying home raising the kids on 1 salary. I have rarely made money in my life. Was in college and then got married few days after graduating and been home since I got pregnant rather quick after marriage. My husband does not view my capacity of earning money as the necessity of being a good wife. His money is my money because we are married and committed to each other. He would never ask me to work because we both have our roles to play in this marriage. All of this comes down to a degenerate society. Making it seem like he’s some good guy is asinine. They honestly deserve each other😂
@@alqoshgirl That's a reckless way of living, sponging off another adult and what happens if you split up? You're destitute.
This is actually very common, she knows exactly what she's doing and its financially abusing her boyfriend
Sounds like I used to pay my “exs” bills
Lol exactly what I was going to say
Sounds like, I will never pay your bills.
I lived with a woman for only 3 months in dose 3 months she was always short on the bill money so I moved out. I was not going to be living paycheck to paycheck because she has a spending problem.
I’m a woman who has had two bf’s like this. They’re an ex for a reason. Both brought nothing to the table by mediocre 🍆… I worked overtime, cooked, clean, took disrespect weekly. There’s nothing out there, if you have a good person keep them around! People are garbage with no values
A relationship will not survive if 1 is a spender and 1 is a saver. Think long and hard about a potential partner.
Dave’s entire program is based on the free spirit (spender) and a saver. He says that’s how every couple is.
You can overcome when you work together and communicate your needs to your partner.
A true Simp. Thanks for doing it so I don’t have too.
Hosts should just say she doesn't respect you, BREAK UP WITH HER!!
He doesn't want to hear that though 😢
“You are going down the right hole there.”
That makes one of y’all.
Dude needs to dump her. She won't improve until she has an opportunity to hit rock bottom. You have to let her fall, but you can't let her bring you down with you. This means that you will have to go back out into the dating market and be single and you won't have a girlfriend anymore... for a time. She is manipulating you into taking care of her own responsibilities for her and make her problems become your problems. And she is doing this in a manipulative guilt tripping way. There is a right way and a wrong way to take on responsibilities for the other, and manipulation is not the way to do it.
I meet a girl just like her, I helped her with money, making a budget...the lot, years later after we stopped dating we talles again through social media, she lives on other city, running from debt collectors...there is no woman on the planet worth such stress man, if someone dont want to change let her be and live your best life.
Hope to see a positive update from this guy 🙏
Unless she looks like Jessica Alba in 2008 he needs to bail.
Walkaway dude walkaway there are way too many chicks out there to settle for one like this she's already shown you that she wants you to pay for everything and her goal is going to be for you to knock her up that way she's got you completely by the balls and then she can be like well I'm not going to work I'm going to stay at home mom your life is really going to suck if you marry her or knock her up just end it before you invest any more time Financial issues are the number one reason why people leave or cheat on their spouse it brings all kinds of issues when you're not on the same page with money
Pay my bills while your at it😂
If she is expecting you to continually cover her irresponsibility she's not the person for you.
You HAVE to run my man
Never understand why a man would put up with all those "strong, independant women" who NEED a MAN TO PICK UP THE TAB.
I already know where this is going if she doesn’t work full time and attempt to pay off her debts…
He’s going to be hit with all the bills (already has) and anger and frustration down the road of life…
Thats why you have the tough conversations before the first date. Some people will never learn. We been through a pandemic people stop being dumb. If you not taking care of your finances after this point you don't care about your life.
Sounds like you're being USED!
You don’t want to hear this but she needs to move out unless you are married. They have noted several reason why living together while not married is a bad idea.
@@newp848 I mean you can talk about those things without living together. You don’t have to live together to find those things out.
So beyond important to vet anyone you plan on living with over a 2 year period before you live together, people are constantly rushing to live together thinking things will be easier with combined money and then you realize to late you have made your life 100 times harder on you
No one asked if the girlfriend would be willing to go through Financial Peace University to see if she can be turned away from living in debt. I think that would be the first step. If she says no because she is happy in debt, then the relationship is over. If she is willing, there's hope and the deciding factor would be how she handles money after completing the course.
I agree with another commenter that said the girlfriend is grooming him so she can be a stay-at-home mom. The surprise "Guess what! I'm pregnant" announcement isn't far off, so do something now before that happens.
your comment is spot on
Sooooooo true! Never trust a woman. I'm an old woman and the stories I've heard.....) ALWAYS wear a condom.
Finally a call where they’re not completely blaming the man for everything. 😂
💯 about time and because Papa Dave is not there 😮💨
@@tubenachos If they were married it would be all his fault.
This is a different kind of call. Not like the usual at all.
@@Sable1837 that's right.
when they say they demand equal rights, that doesn't mean they want equal responsibility
Of course
Responsibility is rarely equal. It should be balanced and agreed upon. Anyone 'keeping score' has serious issues.
How dare you! -Greta
She means your money is ours and my money is mine.
@@Michael-0000 so True
I dated some yrs ago to this very day I don’t regret leaving her ! That caller should flee from her .
The headline alone makes me appreciate my wife so much
I once asked my husband what attracted him to me. His answer was not very romantic but it was honest. He said I was the first woman he dated that was living on her own and financially independent.
Unless you're dating a literal teenager, bail out. Grownups pay bills.
He needs to take her to karaoke and sing Scrubs while pointing at her the entire time.
First mistake as a man was calling the Ramsey net work for any advice at all. Young men should not be calling this Network for advice. They do not have your best interest at heart. The simple answer is what other people of already said you don’t have to do anything. Take care of yourself build yourself up be the best human you can be. You can do better than this man, good luck.
Never live together if you're not married.
This girl sounds like she is not mature enough to live with or marry.
I am a woman and would tell you not to marry any woman that is not on the same page as you, it will be a world of regret!
Girlfriend should leave him, he wouldn't make a good husband. If they ever have kids together she's gonna have to be dropping her defenseless 6week old baby off at daycare while she's still healing from birth. Don't play house anymore because house activities can make a baby with an unqualified father. Women please be smarter than this and don't pay to live with a man.
Gentlemen...never, and I mean never allow a women to move into your house/apt that your not married to. There is literally ZERO upside for you.
What if she pays half that’s upside lol
@@Andy-lr8qp Yeah that's right! A man always feels more like a man when his budget is so tight, moving a girl in that is willing to pay half his living expenses is a welcome relief.
Don’t get her pregnant!
It is a dilemma. If they separate, he might miss her badly. If they get married, he will be the only parent working. There will be many arguments, but at least it won't be boring.
Never give anybody advice. You’re an ______.
At the beginning he says they just moved, her job didn't work out, and she got a couple months behind. So isn't it possible they moved for his new job? I do wonder what her side of this story is, as I would want some grace in that kind of situation. Then again, I'm married. But still, it just seems like some information might be missing here.
It's not your wife you can always leave or actually tell her to stop it
Get out, your values are different.
Two of my favorite Ramsey personalities. George and Dr. John.
She needs to get a job whether they're married or not. Don't live together if you're not going to get married either.
It's a myth that all relationships have fights. Married 12 years, not a single fight because we just discuss what's on our minds like adults and don't get upset at each other for expressing what's on our minds. I'd just move along friend
right. my husband and I have never gotten into a fight we just discuss things respectfully. maybe it's because we were both brought up to communicate and had good role models to look up to as kids. I believe that if you truly love and respect each other there's never any need for heated arguments
Nice
Dave would probably advice this caller to put a ring on her.
Part right. He advises against getting married if she is not on board with finances. If she was, then he would tell him to get married or to move out, but stop pretending to be married. That's is the full version of what he has said many times. Now you know the truth.
@@pep590This!
It’s more nuanced than get married. It’s stop pretending that you are and make sure your values match up before you do.
When the GF wants you to be a walking wallet... it's time to run.
Run this wont get better, do not marry this girl. Well done for saying no, so many red flags
Can’t relate. Outside of parents raising me as a child, I have no idea what this is like-someone else paying or even sharing the bills. How does this work?😂😂😂😂😂
Great advice 👍
The issue is, once you tolerate this behavior, it’ll keep growing until you lay it down and she’ll get mad that you’re “abusive” or “oppressive”
Any guy in this situation
RUN !!!!
We all know how hard it is to find a good woman out there to date long term
But.....
Remember you are the prize in this relationship
And when you forget remember who pays for the vast majority of dates and gifts and etc
Find a woman who can cook or is willing to learn to cook
Or wants to take care of you keeps up with your appointments and etc showing true concern for you
And if she complains why just leave.....
Your giving to her on dates and etc.s
always know what your getting from her outside of beauty and intimacy which you both are getting and will fade for both of you over time
In 10 years when you have 2 kids and a couple jobs
Will you have a woman who can't handle life or a woman who can team up with you and both of you grow together
Also remember when you have a kid with this taker type of women
You will be paying child support....
not both of you and she will be blowing your kids money like she blows her own money
MOST women want a guy that make what they make or more so you will end up taking care of more
So don't walk into a relationship with someone like this a taker and nothing is my fault type person
You will be miserable
A couple has to be in agreement an on the same page about money/work ethic/financial stuff before they do anything financial together.
Either be happy to be her "sugar daddy" or not (and leave).
Until you make that decision, that's all you really are.
The only next level you have is to give her instant access to your bank account.
Let's see how these two simps still blame it on him.
Yessir
He is to blame. He let her move in
@Mike Hunt I mean this guy is to blame. The woman is clearly doing what she wants and the guy keeps bending backwards to make it work. He needs to speak his mind or leave.
Unless the bedroom activities are the best ever, it is not worth it.. leave.
Even if they are, he has to leave. Good sx in exchange for free living is called prostitution
If she wants to get married and create a family with you. She needs to save her money up. Not be in debt, she needs a savings for when she can't work and has to stay home with the baby.
Wait, how is marrying better than dating when it comes to finances, unless you get a prenump...
I know this goes against one of the Ramsey team's core beliefs, but thank God he lived with her before marriage so he could find this stuff out. Better to learn it now while splitting is still low impact.
Plus the guy got all of the benefits from sharing a place with this girl 😉😉
You can learn this without living with someone, and you don’t have the emotional scars and breakup.
I'm a 69 year old woman. My grandmother said a woman should have a schilling and a key ( yes, she was English) meaning she should stand on her own.
Funny how people characterize living together without marriage as a problem with commitment when part of the reason people get married is to have legal protections in place in case they split up.
So some people get married because they are not sure their relationship is going to make it???
No bc life happens and you need protection.
@@georgewagner7787 But if the reason they are getting married is to ensure they have legal protections, they are acknowledging their relationship might not make it. If two people are truly committed, why would they ever think their relationship might not make it???
It sometimes seems like people who live together without a piece of paper are more committed than people who are legally married. They are staying together because they WANT to, not because they feel like they HAVE to.
A person that likes to watch you struggle and sit back see you drowning. Is a person that doesn’t give a fuck about you. It’s really that simple but some folks make “love” complicate it. It’s not complicated they don’t love you but you think they do!
When is the wedding?
She brings NOTHING to the table!
Dude.......RUN!!!!
Being afraid to be alone in a nutshell.