I think this is always really interesting because realistically, she could’ve possibly saved that amount over the years but she was actually pretty low income for living in ny. She definitely wasn’t making 6 figures and I wouldn’t expect someone making less than that to just have 40k available for an apartment when she regularly uses her credit card for clothes and shoes that she can’t actually afford
In the show, Carrie wasn’t meant to be followed. She was a fabulous hot mess. People were wooed by her “whimsical” wardrobe and didn’t pay attention how she was not only a pick-me with Big, but she was also: 1.) Emotionally abusive to Aiden 2.) Cheated on Aiden with Big 3.) Stalked Natasha after ruining her marriage And she was a self-absorbed terrible friend to the other ladies.
We all noticed....we just didn't talk about it. HBO had this character that didn't fit the TV mold. She gave you a squeeze feeling. But there were no platforms for sharing opinions except what the mainstream media was pushing. I swear most of the appeal of the show was watching the trainwreck....even though everyone on TV was talking about it being a great love story
Carrie was his F toy. And she spent 15 years trying to change his mind. Turning away guys who did love her, and want a life with her. She’s the type that “knows” she’s not lovable (childhood issues), so any guy that does love her clashes with her vision of her self. While any guy that isn’t interested reinforces her vision of herself. Until she addresses her childhood issues she will flounder (in real life, in the show it all sort of works out lol)
Carrie was my least favorite character. The show was supposed to be empowering for women, but she was so desperate. Mr. Big wouldn't marry her but found a wife as soon as they broke up. She then ends up as his side piece. She was also bad with money. The successful lawyer redhead got preggo & married a broke man. Samantha was the only really liberated one.
I was low key obsessed with this show as a young adult... I have the whole series DVD collection. After evolving... It's hard to watch these episodes. Carrie was ridiculous. However, this was how women behaved in many respects. Decentering men is truly a new revolutionary practice.
I’m finding it harder and harder to rewatch certain old shows as I realize they are SO male centered…. I’m no longer in alignment with those narratives which make it hard to watch these shows😔
Same here, I only got into watching this show cause I saw a rerun when I was 18-19. First episode I watched was when Carrie bumped into Mr Big. My mom said she watched it and warned me about Carries behavior. The show was such an insight on who I wanted to emulate growing up. I had the DVDs around 22-23. Now I’m 29, I bought dvd case again. Worth it on helping to decenter men and be with someone who cares for you fully.
It was a show during a time of social transition. They were all characters that were depicted as triumphant over circumstances that would have been considered “desperate” only 10 years earlier. Problem is they weren’t triumphant, only persistent. Just another form of desperation.
@@RealSigmaQueen honestly Lowkey I agree with you but I truly think the only one that seemed most delulu is Carrie, hence her storylines. Close second is Charlotte in a way, although I did come around to liking her storyline (even though she is the opposite of what I wanted in my twenties.) I feel like Miranda and Samantha were good story lines in the beginning but hated how they gloss over Miranda’s insecurities, panic attacks, and gave her Steve a man baby partner. Samantha’s story lines grew worse as time went on.
Is also a generation think, I watch like just parts on UA-cam and them I tried the show, I didn’t go more them first episode. Is a generation very dated show.
Charlotte is...... No one should ever change their religion for another human. She tried way too hard to be convincing about it . Even saying, "I gave up Jesus for you" means she sacrificed what she honestly believed in, all for another human. Harry is wealthy which is part of what she wanted. But, you know, he's also a bit of an a$$. Heck, maybe Charlotte and Carrie are a tie.
The more I think about the how Carrie Bradshaw was a glorified, delusional Pickmeisha. She was so Male centered and it was too her detriment. It's wild how watching these shows, as a younger woman you don't pick up on some of the social conditioning and indoctrination. Her self esteem was nonexistent. She buried herself in designer clothing and her perceived social status to mask her lack of self confidence and worth. I had former women friends who were obsessively Male centered and I'm glad those friends fell apart. Thank you for sharing your analysis with us!!
@@islandgirl8067 Me, too. She wasn't perfect, but she soared way above Carrie in my esteem for her bc she obviously liked xes and men, but she took care of herself first, always.
Big never *REALLY* really "picked" Carrie, though. Even after they were married he didn't really wanted to be seen with her or take her to high-profile events like he did with his previous wives, who were both NY socialites and the *actual* type of women Big saw as "wife-material" in a way he never truly saw Carrie. Everything about the way Big treated Carrie after they were married said that he settled for her because he couldn't do better than her. He essentially got permanently iced out from the upper-crust NY society/dating circles after his wandering peen cost him his marriage with his SECOND old-money NY socialite wife. He even left 1M in his will to his ex-wife that he cheated on with Carrie. Like, even in DEATH that man stayed embarrassing tf out of Carrie and dogging her out!
I’m SO HAPPY someone finally said it. Carrie was the biggest pick me in that show. Big treated her like trash and dragged her through the mud and she went back each time. Even the day of the wedding he stood her up and she STILL got back with him and married him. He married Natalia and he cheated on her and still still married him. To me, Aidan was the only one that respected her but she treated him like trash. Samantha was the ONLY smart one in the show. She slept with every and anyone which I didn’t like but she was a boss and she showed it. She took charge of her life and her career and didn’t depend on a man for it. Miranda was smart and successful but was too desperate for a man. Like how are u a lawyer and u got knocked up by a bar tender. HUGE disappointment and I was embarrassed for her. Charlotte was also epitome of being brainwashed into that Disney fairytale life but atleast she knew to pick men with money and men that could take care of her. And yes, Beyoncé ISNT JayZs dream girl and that’s a fact.
I liked that Samantha did her own thing. Yes she might have slept with a bit too many dudes, but her life wasn't centered around a relationship. She was safe, had a healthy sex life, enjoyed her career, and had a fulfilling life. She didn't cry over marriage or having kids.
this “beyoncé isn’t jay-z’s dream girl” theory keeps appearing in my timeline and now somehow it’s randomly come onto my radar again via this comment about SATC. don’t know why but i’m intrigued about where this idea came from.
@@wahoo4uvabecause everyone hates Beyoncé. As if being Jay-Z’s dream girl is something to be valued😂 it’s funny how her name gets dropped in everything she has absolutely nothing to do with. Like this❤ I did, however, enjoy this video.
Watched this as a teen and the only character I actually respected and liked was Samantha. She stood up for herself, was real AF and ended up in a loving, emotionally mature relationship.
Samantha was the most levelheaded one on there. She saw me for what they were. And used them accordingly. And in the end, she had the most loving and mature relationship with a man. 🤷🏿♀️
Samantha was problematic. I think there an episode where she put the people in her co-op in danger because she was sleeping with someone unsavory and dangerous that was coming to her.
@@jdbailey442...They were ALL problematic. That's was the point of the show. However, when it came to relationships. Her attitude was: men are nothing more than a walking 🍆 to me. And unless they can prove otherwise that's how they will be treated. And it worked for her because she was THE ONLY ONE on that show who found true love. 🤷🏿♀️
Sam was the best person on the show. She was the only one who could choose herself over everyone else. A lot of people get mad when you choose yourself, thinking it's selfish, but depending on everyone else to take care of you is what's selfish. Nobody can make you have love and respect for yourself.
Carrie is not Big's type and she knew it deep down. This is why Carrie relates to Barbara Streisand's character in the movie The Way We Were and it was reflected in the episode where she tells Big a line from the movie.
I used to get addicted to TV series. I was deep into Girlfriends reruns , then one night they just stop showing them 🤯😡. Now , it's on Netflix, but I guess I am still in my feelings lol .😕😅
Carrie’s dad abandoned her as a small kid or baby which explains a lot. she was a fool for giving up therapy so quickly. It drives me nuts when women are called girls 👧🏼.
I remember being in fashion school and a lot of the women raved about it. The fashion was nice but some of it seemed extremely outdated and I can’t feel sympathy for someone like Carrie who constantly chased a man who didn’t choose her as his first pick. I’m sure there were some interesting storylines besides Carrie/Big and I’ll probably check it out some time after my other programs lol
I've never watched this show, but always heard it was so empowering. What's empowering about being a pickme for a man who's made it clear you're not his type? 🤷🏾♀️ Then the one with the red hair got pregnant when she never wanted kids and kept it. And, her BF didn't have a job and was living with her or something like that. This just sounds like one big mess
It depends on when you heard about and your stage of thinking about things. I used to love the show back in the day. I was also late teens/early 20s and getting some freedom. That's why examining these topics from different eyes is interesting.
@@BurbNBougie It was a show that focused on women's relationships through the lens of friendship and talked about sex from a woman's perspective and didn't shame them for liking it. The last thing was really the unique thing about it. Girlfriends and Living Single had covered similar ground, but were black shows on network TV where they couldn't embrace sexuality as much. On HBO, they could get into specifics and show women loving sex and those things were seen as empowering. I still don't think it was fully original, but I know it was a hard sell--all women centered shows are--and if the black shows hadn't had the ratings, Darren Starr may never have sold the pilot.
@@Kimberly_Sparkles I never liked or watched "Sex In the City" (for what it's worth I was born in 1987 and I knew some of my peers in High School watched it, but I could never relate tbh) However, your viewpoint is definitely valid. It was the earliest programming that destigmatized unmarried childless women enjoying sex, so that's something to be admired.
Never really watched the show religiously as a teen , i kind of watched a series or an episode here and there, used to think it was quiet nice but Carrie was never my favourite character, Samantha was and that was based on having had low self esteem issues so always imagined being a boss babe. It was as I got older and started to watch re runs that I actually started to see certain things installed in me as i grew up , the image I was expected to have, wear make up, dress this way , dress that way, lighten your skin it was like having to create a whole new persona just to get the male gaze. I hated this so whilst my female cousins were willing to do this I found myself wanting to be a Tom boy. Caused a lot clashes between my mum and i . Then I overheard some my male friends talking about the girls in the group and hearing how they put us in boxes of I will F this one but will not be seen dead with her, and those they would love to date and be seen with. Guess what? I was one of the first group they would F but not be seen with. Didn't do much for my low self esteem but it did open my eyes to being determined to not play a puppet to get a man. Then again I was surrounded by pickmes like this growing up and those women like my grandmother and my mum who opened my eyes to decentering men and valuing myself foremost. Hollywood etc really was and is still selling alot of b.s in the form a happy ever after.
the real woman Candace, didn't even end up with mr big so the entire toxic love story ending with happily ever after is a lie so all of those games were for nothing. all the toxic pick me bs was for nothing.
EXACTLY. IRL Candace ended up with the Russian but the writers said the viewing public wanted her back with Big. Gotta give the Pickmeishas what they want, I guess... 😵💫
The problem with Carrie’s character is that her relationship with Big lasted way past its expiration date. If she had learned from her mistakes, dump him around season 4 and little by little got closer to a successful woman who respects herself with or without man, then the entire show would have a different meaning. It would be relatable and empowering. But the fact that she ended up with a guy that jilted her and that is presented as the epitome of romance 💘 makes us angry at her because we wanted better for her and for us.
Rewatching is cringe, Carrie comes off as very selfish and draining. After each fight with Big she wanted to cry to at lunch & when Miranda said enough she got mad as if they had to listen to her constantly whining about him.
Friends like that are annoying af and don’t care at all about their friends. Their friends are just placeholders they emotionally dump on until they find a man to emotionally dump on. Gross.
Big was 100% a narcissist, their relationship was always about his comfort, his need. Like getting back with carrie into a committed relationship without telling carrie he was planning to move to paris. Big had the housewife with Natasha and he still cheated on her with carrie. Big lives by what pleases and benefits him that's his problem. His actions are about benefiting himself, you're rarely ever seeing him go all out for someone else.
Yep!!! Men like Big can be poor male’s as well. Big is so open with his horrible behavior because he is rich. Poor males have the same mindset but it’s worse because if you get pregnant by him you will end up in generational poverty. Especially if you are a BW. Mr. Big’s personality and character always sucked. I think women gave him a pass because he was rich and good looking to a degree.
I’m from a younger generation where Carrie Diaries (a prequel with Carrie in highschool) was a show on abc family with Austin Butler. I remember her being very fantasy like about love and romance with no boundaries, so it tracks that this is her persona in Sex and the City.
When I was younger - I didn’t cringe at the show but now I do. Carrie gave him so many chances and took him back and that’s why he felt like she would forgive him for not showing up to their wedding!
Great job!!! This is so well done 🙌 This is so depressing to realize. I was in my mid 20’s during the height of this season. We felt so cool drinking our martinis and glasses of wine watching this show. And catching exactly NONE of the horrific red flags in this show & in the horrible choices we were making - in men and women friends. The world is more obviously horrific & dark today, but I would give anything to be in my 20’s now. The pickme mind control was just normal 20 years ago. It’s real grief processing this now that I’m 50. So much lost. So much gained now, but the grief is a necessary part of the process.
I feel the same! I feel grief for how badly we were encouraged into bad relationships by the toxic pop culture of the time. I had my own version of Big (he was broke and dusty 😂but he was like Big in how he treated me and I kept going back for it) and NOW I just cannot believe how I put up with that crap! So many of my friends at the time did the SAME, though, it’s literally how it was at the time and shows like this made it seem normal and ok. At least I’ve stuck with therapy, made a lot of progress and am truly happy with a man decentered life. Hugggsssss sister 🫂
When i watched the show i always saw it as a cautionary tale. I thought the writers were saying "dont be like these people". I was shocked to see people wanting to be like her. Not all humans have the ability to deconstruct art.
Is it bad if I still see Bigs appeal? Like obviously he’s trash but he’s wealthy, classy, witty, smooth, tall, handsome, charismatic, etc. Dude is literally the 1%. Carrie grew up lower middle class so of course hes a god to her
He's literally the Prince Charming we were all groomed (brought up) to believe in. I rooted for Carrie. She was my girl, I wanted her to win, Big included. Although he put her through her paces and I mean the episode with the dominoes when Big went in the hospital and Carrie was looking after him. I, even had it with him But remember Carrie stood up for herself, in American Girl in Paris Part Une. Big comes to Carrie to cry wolf, for what is it the 360th time. And she goes, "You and I, nothing. You will not jerk me around." She let him HAVE IT! It was so cathartic for me. I lived vicariously through her, she had my dream life (minus all the rando hookups) At the end of the day, I think it's a generational thing. This new generation has names for all the things, gaslighting, narcissism and decentering, so it's easy to pick her apart. Being a Gen X-er to me, Carrie lived a charmed life. She was in the city, doing her art (writing) She found her person, Big, although he was problematic. We held space for the romanticization of things. Now everything is supposed to be a point by point analysis. Everything is black or white, feast or famine. I love ❤️ singing Carly Simon's, Coming Around Again. I BELIEVE IN LOVE!
@@thomslotusflower6025 beautifully said. It was before social media so girls couldn’t compare notes and swap horror stories. Things that seem obvious to us were unusual back then. I loved when Carrie stood up for herself in the Paris episode. I also loved when Big read her book and was like “I had no idea I hurt you so badly” It showed growth and accountability on his part. I loved how Carrie never lost her youthful (sometimes childish/self centered) outlook. Can we blame a metaphorical princess for loving a prince?
Carrie was a party favor. A chic to have fun with. He doesn't respect her because she acts like a teenager. He wanted someone more on his level. Business woman or social status wise.
So frustrating when your friend is heartbroken over some guy who has been very up front about the fact that they are strictly casual and he will not be interested in anything serious. Women really think they are so special and cute that they can force someone to form a deep attachment and change their whole philosophy on life and relationships. And then get destroyed when the impossible never happens.
I’m SO HAPPY someone finally said it. Carrie was the biggest pick me in that show. Big treated her like trash and dragged her through the mud and she went back each time. Even the day of the wedding he stood her up and she STILL got back with him and married him. He married Natalia and he cheated on her and still still married him. Samantha was the ONLY smart one in the show. She slept with every and anyone which I didn’t like but she was a boss and she showed it. She took charge of her life and her career and didn’t depend on a man for it.
It was supposed to be a show about 4 gay dudes in the city, but they knew nobody would watch that at the time, so they shoehorned women into the roles.
Darren Star was the creator of the show, but the first few seasons were heavily based on the book with the same name by Candace Bushnell. Carrie was an alter ego used by Candace to candidly write about her life in the public column she wrote while living in New York in the 80s and early 90s. A lot of the written portions that Carrie narrates in the show are exact quotes from the column (book) by Candace. Hope that clarifies things.
PopCultureFanGirl congrats in your first video in youtube🎉🎉. I love love love feminism video essays of pop culture and im so ready to engage with this content in the future! About the essay: Big has always been the physical representations of new york in the series. He is big, luxurious, out of reach and kinda mysterious. So he is like this double reference for carrie, not only the unattainable man, but also the unattainable lifestyle. He is effortlessly classy, totally different to carrie, who is kind of a mess (with her shoe addiction and her countless failed relationships). The whole show is about her following the trail of this man that gives her the bare minimum and she just accepts it. And it makes me so pissed that the show lets them end up together, because it validates the delusion that some women have, that the man will change for you if you try enough, if you beg enough. its more stupid when you realize that the author who based the book in her experience, actually never got together with her mr big, she begged and pleaded, she was the cool girl, and it never worked. Also a note, carrie was not a girls girl, she mocked any woman who got between her and mr big, constantly talked over her friends problems to speak about her man, and more than once put men above her friends with no remorse.
This show was exactly like IRL , trials & tribulations. 😢 But , i was heartbroken when that furniture guy found out Carrie cheated on him , with Big . Omg the hurt he felt , i felt 😞 😢. He loved her down , inside & out , wow . Then, they tried to rekindle, but he couldn't. 🥺
Nope! Big was jealous of Carrie like men are jealous of women in real life. He always found ways to take the attention away from her (ex: the phone call at a wedding where she recited a poem). He knew she loved him and used that love as a weapon against her.
"carrie bradshaw represents everything that i don't want to see in a woman" 😂 what a quoteeee. THAT'S what i'm talking about! even this century, still lots of directors uses female role dumbly. 'i'm a cool woman feminist who can sex whoever i want!! and i can handle my children!" THAT'S NOT A FEMINISM duh. we need a female role who doesn't care about sh** and wants to be success on her job!!! we don't even want cutiepie boy! plz! ughhhh however, thanks for making this goood series of video! BurbNBougie!💗
The way that Carrie just keeps PURSUING Big semi-desperately, including coming to his place grumpy and drunk already, just gives off "written by a man" vibes. But i guess Candace Bushnell was the writer, so it's not always men who write messy needy women. 😂
Carrie probably didn't think she could get any better. To her Big was it. And she threw herself at him because she had no foresight. With the type of talent and charisma she had she could have changed her life and MOVED out of NYC and travel to various places where she could have found someone great. But she was complacent. She lived in a tiny world of shoes, cigarettes and constant complaining.
It was actually a show about friendship among women, and the relationships with men were sidelines. SITC wasn't as liberal, and progressive as we thought in 90's and early 2000.
I hear similar criticisms of Charmed all the time. Idk why we can't accept that some things were progressive for their time. We didn't wake up one morning with all these rights, philosophies, and freedoms! There were baby steps between.
Carrie didnt put her foot down with Big. He tested her and found out how much she would put up with. She seems to want a lifestyle with a man like Big so much, becuase she never had access to men like that, she put up with anything...she was intimidated by Big..once she got with the rich Russian, then big was checking for her. Natasha always had access to men like Big and she wasnt intimated by him. Natasha was the general girl next door boring, however she came from satus and access to men which was probably why she had that energy around Big and why he married her. We didnt see much from their relationship, but Natasha brought that energy. But Big wasn't good for anyone and didn't live in his truth. He was with boring Natasha but was cheating on her with Carrie who was fun and quirky. He wanted the best of both worlds.
I liked Carrie , loved her clothes & her personality. But , i tried a million different ways to see her as cute & i couldn't. I know that's also probably why Samantha didn't " see it " for Carrie . B/c Samantha was very pretty 😍.
I think there's one episode in which Carrie mentions that her father had walked out when she was pretty young. But seriously, she's in New York, where there's no shortage of therapists!
Brilliant assessment. I couldn't stand Mr. Big. Carrie had very little self-esteem and Mr.Big took advantage of that. The things she went through. My ego alone couldn't take it.
Carrie was the WORST!!!! Every time I re-watch the series (which is often) I notice little different things every single time. She had no character development whatsoever. Horrible friend, horrible girlfriend. Big, Aiden, big again, Aiden again, Marries big, kisses Aiden in the 2nd movie while married to Big, like this character just never grows tf up.
@simplytoldbyudea I followed your page! Plus also I think there is more to his divorce with his Japanese ex wife (the fact we don't know her name or have heard or saw her is 🚩)
I always only liked Charlotte and Samantha, the way Carrie chased Big was shameful. Aiden was loving and kind and handsome, but Carrie was definitely bad for him. I disliked that they ended up married because he truly didn’t love her like that. She was obsessed with him, I don’t think she loved him in a healthy way.
@2:50 I have a friend who chased a man for 7 YEARS!!!! When she first approached him, he TOLD HER she wasn't his type !! She has dyed platinum blonde hair and spray tan. She is VERY conveniently attractive. Her response was, " I'm everyone's type." She emotionally abused herself for years over this guy. I never gave this guy hate because he was very honest. All the other friends in her group would destroy this guy on the regular.
Carrie was so triggering to me when I watched this series. I embarrassingly saw so much of myself in her. She became insufferable by the end of the show! Big showed her over and over where she stood in his life and she refused to accept it. She was also quite irrational a lot of the time as well. Stocking him at church, hunting down his ex wife, etc like maam!! I’m still team Big though lol he’s one of my fav characters in the series.
He doesnt respect her because shes unattractive at first. Then he gradually begins to love her for her but still doesnt find her pretty. So he feels like hes doing her a favor by being with her and treats her bad but then when she leaves he remembers he actually likes her soul and asks for forgiveness. Again and again
I get the whole pick me logic thing, but let's be for real. Most women are carrie and had been her at some point in time. I was one and have no shame in that. I am one of those women who like and relate to carrie the most. Do i still have that mindset? No. But i like the series, and i wouldn't be interested in watching a series where women are always about empowerment, etc. Yes, it's good, but realistically, reality isn't like that. And no, i do not agree with everything carrie did, but i like the realness about it. Social media have everyone thinking that life goes one way and that all women are hypergamous, knows their worth, and all of that, and that's straight-up delusionsal. You don't have to agree with me.
@simplytoldbyudea yeah I get that. But sometimes I just see people shaming women for they're poor choices and It don't always sit well with me. Not saying this is what the video was about, but from others content creators
I think Big liked how obsessed Carrie was with him. He knew he could do anything and Carrie would want him. I enjoy when the main character of the show unintentionally becomes the worst character.
thank you for covering this i appreciate your take :) i'm glad the younger women have bonded together on the socials to teach even us more mature women things we didn't learn in our day i watch dr ramani because i have npd in my family she did a segment on npd = smex and the city lead characters and Carrie came out on top (I believe) unfortunately, i got some of my dating advice from this show makes sense my mom had npd and so i pick up on a show w/npd lead characters wow
I admit…when I was young…I thought this show was the Bible to dating. I didn’t have the best example of relationships growing up…and so I felt this show was the guideline. I understand this is a tv show but it was different from what I saw in 1998 as a 17 year old kid…it was ground breaking…and I thought is this what empowerment looks like? I made all the mistakes…went into debt to buy labels…stayed in relationships that I knew weren’t good for me…but didn’t leave because I had no self esteem. The cognitive dissonance was strong. It took me a minute but I finally snapped out of it years ago….and I started watching the show again after the reboot was announced. My god…Carrie was an awful person!!! She was an emotional terrorist!!! Watching this show in my 40s made me realize how toxic Big was…how much Miranda hated Steve…the racism…the entitlement…consumerism…placing value on men and labels…and Carrie’s inability to not change for a man…whether it’s location or her personality. I can go in forever….but ugh…this show is trash!!!
Nana's 2 cents; I discovered this show , when I was 60. I worked all my lif÷ & did not watch tv to much. It came on at 10:30 pm on ABC, I think. Any way I liked the show, because it took place in New York. I was always in love with New York. That's why I liked the show. The way these women behaved around men, is un real. If a man showed no interest in me or kept me guessing, it would be no go, for me. Just living & working in New York, would have been enough . I think I must be a skipmesha, ha ha !
I’m watching this for the 1st time & most definitely CARRIE was toxic & I actually feel like Mr.Big was honest with her, it was her trying to force something with him, I’m only on S2 ep 12 already I’m pissed at the games Carrie has played
She is a cautionary tale but come on we’ve all been there. It’s called someone you like leading you on. People rarely watch shows where the character does the right thing.
I despised Carrie. She acted like a teenager. Always chasing after men obsessed with validation. Samantha is THAT queen. I always thought samantha and Big wouldve made a power couple.
@@cannellecinnamon5504Nah. Samantha came on too strong, and he didn’t like that. She was ready to leave and f him that night. He took a pass. Believe or not some men don’t like women who come at them like that. 😳 Shocking I know 😄.
I think I’ve seen sex and city about 6-8 times (it truly is one of my favorite tv shows) And you have encapsulated everything I felt about Carrie especially in first season. However you felt about Mr.Big he never gave her the green light of wanting to be relationship Carrie pushed her way into a relationship that was never really wanted by him😐
Exactly. She was always forcing it. Carrie thought Big couldn’t commit (he told her this), but then he marries Natasha and she lost her mind stalking the poor woman when she found out he got married. Carrie couldn’t accept that he just didn’t want to commit to her. But Aiden who does want to commit and adores her, she gets annoyed with him being "perfect" (I guess perfect to her meant someone actually being into her and not treating her as an afterthought) and then cheats with Big. It never made sense to me. I was always like "Guh, isn’t this what you wanted. A guy who wants to commit." Then has the nerve to rekindle their relationship in AJLT. Claiming she made a mistake. I bet if Big was still alive, she wouldn’t even entertain Aiden. This annoys me. And guess what she’s trying to force things with Aiden because Aiden is somewhat unavailable (issues with his son and also cautious because she broke his heart before). Her favorite pattern (chasing after unavailable men).
Honestly - watching them throughout the series it definitely seemed like she was as always way more into him than he was into her. At the end it seemed he settled for her because she just wouldn’t leave. Even if it’s the whole wedding thing obviously he didn’t have enough respect for her that he didn’t show.
Finished it, Im not sure why people tune into long form commentary on TikTok that being said, I agree. Its the reason I couldnt watch the show, the dude just wasnt interested in her that way. At least the first season which is all I was able to get through, the friends really weren't hinting at all that this dude wasn't into her. I also agree I don't think she was his type. I think not only social status but... I just don't think Carrie did a lot for him physically. If it was written today. It's basically the dude who never texts you back, the conversations fall off, he doesn't reach out to set dates, etc. He might call you but never actually set up dates with you to see you unless asking you out in a situation where he could easily get you naked. The only thing I disagree with. Is we have to be realistic. I would never tell a guy he's out of my league, go for the absolute best you can get. But again if it was filmed today, Id ask Carrie, under the Hinge App, on who LIKED YOU, what are those men like on average, thats probaby about the league your in. I think the show would have been better..if she didn't meet this dude immediately. As nlan almost 40 yo, this man wasn't interested in her, why she wasting her time. I found it hard to watch. I think they should have made the show a little less about dating. Maybe have more interactions with the friends. I could have seen someone like Charlotte and Big, yes. If I could be anyone on the show, it would be Charlotte lol
If we make long form on TT, and ppl tune in, cool. Some watch our stuff, some don't. They allow space for 30 min and the platform has been shifting for a bit.
Love this series idea. I see these shows so differently now that I'm more mature. In the 1st movie I didn't like that she married him after he embarrassed and dumped her on the wedding day right before the wedding, then she settled for that courthouse wedding, ugh...Please do Everybody Loves Raymond, poor Deborah....
The character of Carrie can’t have anyone out of her league. She’s a professional writer, a fashionista, beautiful and independent. She just had a terrible personality because her self esteem was so low.
I love media analysis do I'm happy to see it come to this channel. I think PopCultureFangril did a solid analysis so far, but she can tighten it up some. Review and edit out some of the repetition and she'll be a force to be reckoned with. ❤
I think some of these needs historical context, which is fun to say about a show as a teenager. It wasn't Carrie that had the most impact, it was Samantha. At least in my group of friends, "dating like a man" was what we learned from this show. Carrie was more of a cautionary tale, we all know women like this, we even discussed our friend who would drop us as soon as she dated some guy. I always was more of a Charlotte, but I saw some of my own behaviour and corrected it. Also, yes, the condom scene is the reason why he sees her as "not the marrying type". These people were born in the 1960s, raised by madmen era fathers, and having sex without commitment still made you easy and a ho in their eyes, a fun girl, not a wife. My own mother told me not to buy condoms in our own town, but in a bigger city nearby in the early 2000s, no joke. Charlotte had some things right about men in that generation, there were some rules in their heads. But isn't it great writing, so detailed and true, that even the next generation can relate?
The gag of it all is, Carrie chased this man for years, was ghosted on her wedding day only for this man to DIE after he took her youth years. Even in the movie, she settled for that simple wedding just to please him and stroke his ego. This is a very true outlook ive had and seen so many of my girlfriends change just because of a man and as a grown woman, I don't put up with women like that. Loved Carrie no doubt, lol, but she definitely was a beautiful mess!!!!!!
Seriously, the relationship they tried to sell between the two of them was the entire reason my autistic ass was never a fan of the show. I could never understand why someone, who was supposed to be super relationship savvy, was allowing themselves to be (and seemed to want to be) treated like that. So many women watched that toxic train wreck and thought that kind of thing was normal, it was freaking mind boggling.
This show was popular when I was a kid so as an adult I’ve watched it. This show has single handily taught me why a season break is necessary. Carrie is exhausting. Big has shown who he is and she refuses to accept it. I stopped watching after season 3 it hurts watching😂
I’m younger so I wasn’t the generation that watched this when it was super popular, everytime I see analysis, it makes me wonder WHY it was so popular because it was so toxic.
Coming from that generation I can explain: 1. It was the first time in tv where women in their 30’s and UNMARRIED were not labeled as pathetic, ugly, whores. They were portrayed as successful career women who have fun and are smart. Already a revolution at that time ( hard to believe, I know lol) 2. First time in tv where women talked about sex from Their perspective, what they want, like etc. Before that women were always the object never the subject. Every thing was told from the male gaze. And first time in TV where women were not “punished “ for enjoying casual sex ( punishment being raped or killed. Like often in movies at that time). Horrible 😢 I know. 3. Even though the ladies talk about men, the soul of the series its the female friendship ( they are each other soulmate and center their friendship even while in relationships or marriage) 4. The romantic relationships were the opposite of the usual bs romantic comedy. They were more realistic. Even for big and Carrie . The big mistake of the show was Carrie ending with big. It wasn’t supposed to end that way but mid series they got a new producer and he decided to have a stupid fairytale ending with big which betrayed the whole purpose of the show. Even the original book went against this scenario. There you have it. I hope it helped 😀
@cannellecinnamon5504 yes..those relationships they had on the show..every woman, no matter their race, who was dating during that time could relate to some of the dating experiences on the show in some way or fashion.
Carrie. Aka the woman who had $40,000 shoe collection but couldn't afford a down payment on an apartment when she needed a new place to stay.
Priorities 🤣
lawd ham mercy😮😮!
And got mad at Charlotte for not giving her money to pay her rent.
This sounds like my little sister spending money on the things she wants and borrows money for the things she actually needs
I think this is always really interesting because realistically, she could’ve possibly saved that amount over the years but she was actually pretty low income for living in ny. She definitely wasn’t making 6 figures and I wouldn’t expect someone making less than that to just have 40k available for an apartment when she regularly uses her credit card for clothes and shoes that she can’t actually afford
In the show, Carrie wasn’t meant to be followed.
She was a fabulous hot mess.
People were wooed by her “whimsical” wardrobe and didn’t pay attention how she was not only a pick-me with Big, but she was also:
1.) Emotionally abusive to Aiden
2.) Cheated on Aiden with Big
3.) Stalked Natasha after ruining her marriage
And she was a self-absorbed terrible friend to the other ladies.
And also managed her finances horribly.
She was a HORRIBLE friend!
We all noticed....we just didn't talk about it. HBO had this character that didn't fit the TV mold. She gave you a squeeze feeling. But there were no platforms for sharing opinions except what the mainstream media was pushing. I swear most of the appeal of the show was watching the trainwreck....even though everyone on TV was talking about it being a great love story
She stalked Big's first wife, too!
And she stalked his mom through him- she followed them to church, knowing he didn't want her there!
@@SigmaSigmaSigmaJgirl I just remembered that!!! She dropped the Bible from the upper pews!!!
Carrie was his F toy. And she spent 15 years trying to change his mind. Turning away guys who did love her, and want a life with her. She’s the type that “knows” she’s not lovable (childhood issues), so any guy that does love her clashes with her vision of her self. While any guy that isn’t interested reinforces her vision of herself. Until she addresses her childhood issues she will flounder (in real life, in the show it all sort of works out lol)
Carrie needed therapy- she gravitated towards a man like Big because she eroticized rejection and was as equally emotionally unavailable as him.
She went to therapy but ended with man in bed…
She had a lot of father abandonment issues like a lot of gen X and y.
Explains why the show was so popular
Carrie was my least favorite character. The show was supposed to be empowering for women, but she was so desperate. Mr. Big wouldn't marry her but found a wife as soon as they broke up. She then ends up as his side piece. She was also bad with money. The successful lawyer redhead got preggo & married a broke man. Samantha was the only really liberated one.
Charlotte married well, too, twice
@@foxylady6901...Weren't both of her relationships toxic too?
The red head didn't marry her bd , right ? I remember when he found someone else to live with.
@@cocoace7587 she did and then she divorced him after cheating on him
Samantha was liberated and they gave her cancer in the end to punish her for said liberation🤦🏽♀️
I was low key obsessed with this show as a young adult... I have the whole series DVD collection. After evolving... It's hard to watch these episodes. Carrie was ridiculous. However, this was how women behaved in many respects. Decentering men is truly a new revolutionary practice.
I’m finding it harder and harder to rewatch certain old shows as I realize they are SO male centered…. I’m no longer in alignment with those narratives which make it hard to watch these shows😔
Same here, I only got into watching this show cause I saw a rerun when I was 18-19. First episode I watched was when Carrie bumped into Mr Big. My mom said she watched it and warned me about Carries behavior. The show was such an insight on who I wanted to emulate growing up. I had the DVDs around 22-23. Now I’m 29, I bought dvd case again. Worth it on helping to decenter men and be with someone who cares for you fully.
It was a show during a time of social transition. They were all characters that were depicted as triumphant over circumstances that would have been considered “desperate” only 10 years earlier. Problem is they weren’t triumphant, only persistent. Just another form of desperation.
@@RealSigmaQueen honestly Lowkey I agree with you but I truly think the only one that seemed most delulu is Carrie, hence her storylines. Close second is Charlotte in a way, although I did come around to liking her storyline (even though she is the opposite of what I wanted in my twenties.) I feel like Miranda and Samantha were good story lines in the beginning but hated how they gloss over Miranda’s insecurities, panic attacks, and gave her Steve a man baby partner. Samantha’s story lines grew worse as time went on.
Is also a generation think, I watch like just parts on UA-cam and them I tried the show, I didn’t go more them first episode. Is a generation very dated show.
Carrie was the worst pick me written for screen. The absolute worst.
I thought it was just me that felt that way!
Charlotte is...... No one should ever change their religion for another human. She tried way too hard to be convincing about it . Even saying, "I gave up Jesus for you" means she sacrificed what she honestly believed in, all for another human. Harry is wealthy which is part of what she wanted.
But, you know, he's also a bit of an a$$.
Heck, maybe Charlotte and Carrie are a tie.
These are valid points!
@@Lokian_MermaidShe sure was but atleast she dated men that had money.
A pickme woman written by gay men
The more I think about the how Carrie Bradshaw was a glorified, delusional Pickmeisha. She was so Male centered and it was too her detriment. It's wild how watching these shows, as a younger woman you don't pick up on some of the social conditioning and indoctrination.
Her self esteem was nonexistent. She buried herself in designer clothing and her perceived social status to mask her lack of self confidence and worth. I had former women friends who were obsessively Male centered and I'm glad those friends fell apart.
Thank you for sharing your analysis with us!!
What's AHIW
But we knew.. Carrie was nobodies favorite.. Samantha carried that show
@@BurbNBougiea weird typo. My phone tripped out. 😅
@@lauralvw8445 Samantha was my fave.
@@islandgirl8067 Me, too. She wasn't perfect, but she soared way above Carrie in my esteem for her bc she obviously liked xes and men, but she took care of herself first, always.
IRL Pick-Mes don’t get picked, only in Hollywood & corporate media productions
Productions that are mostly made by men…
@@ManUntdForeverto make women stay in the pickme mentality and center men, while they center themselves 😅
Big never *REALLY* really "picked" Carrie, though.
Even after they were married he didn't really wanted to be seen with her or take her to high-profile events like he did with his previous wives, who were both NY socialites and the *actual* type of women Big saw as "wife-material" in a way he never truly saw Carrie. Everything about the way Big treated Carrie after they were married said that he settled for her because he couldn't do better than her. He essentially got permanently iced out from the upper-crust NY society/dating circles after his wandering peen cost him his marriage with his SECOND old-money NY socialite wife.
He even left 1M in his will to his ex-wife that he cheated on with Carrie. Like, even in DEATH that man stayed embarrassing tf out of Carrie and dogging her out!
😂😂😂😂😂 thissssss ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️🥶
Her character in summary was " a man was always a plan". She didn't prioritize finances and career because the (rich) man was her plan.
Pretty much
I'm looking for a man in finance......
I’m SO HAPPY someone finally said it. Carrie was the biggest pick me in that show. Big treated her like trash and dragged her through the mud and she went back each time. Even the day of the wedding he stood her up and she STILL got back with him and married him. He married Natalia and he cheated on her and still still married him. To me, Aidan was the only one that respected her but she treated him like trash. Samantha was the ONLY smart one in the show. She slept with every and anyone which I didn’t like but she was a boss and she showed it. She took charge of her life and her career and didn’t depend on a man for it.
Miranda was smart and successful but was too desperate for a man. Like how are u a lawyer and u got knocked up by a bar tender. HUGE disappointment and I was embarrassed for her.
Charlotte was also epitome of being brainwashed into that Disney fairytale life but atleast she knew to pick men with money and men that could take care of her. And yes, Beyoncé ISNT JayZs dream girl and that’s a fact.
I liked that Samantha did her own thing. Yes she might have slept with a bit too many dudes, but her life wasn't centered around a relationship. She was safe, had a healthy sex life, enjoyed her career, and had a fulfilling life.
She didn't cry over marriage or having kids.
That part! Carrie even admitted that she treated Adian the same way that Bigg treated her. Just yikes!🤦🏾♀️
this “beyoncé isn’t jay-z’s dream girl” theory keeps appearing in my timeline and now somehow it’s randomly come onto my radar again via this comment about SATC. don’t know why but i’m intrigued about where this idea came from.
@@wahoo4uvabecause everyone hates Beyoncé. As if being Jay-Z’s dream girl is something to be valued😂 it’s funny how her name gets dropped in everything she has absolutely nothing to do with. Like this❤ I did, however, enjoy this video.
@@tinawitherspoon4224desperation is how and she fits the bill
Watched this as a teen and the only character I actually respected and liked was Samantha. She stood up for herself, was real AF and ended up in a loving, emotionally mature relationship.
Love samantha ❤
Samantha was the most levelheaded one on there. She saw me for what they were. And used them accordingly. And in the end, she had the most loving and mature relationship with a man. 🤷🏿♀️
Samantha was problematic. I think there an episode where she put the people in her co-op in danger because she was sleeping with someone unsavory and dangerous that was coming to her.
@@jdbailey442...They were ALL problematic. That's was the point of the show. However, when it came to relationships. Her attitude was: men are nothing more than a walking 🍆 to me. And unless they can prove otherwise that's how they will be treated. And it worked for her because she was THE ONLY ONE on that show who found true love. 🤷🏿♀️
Sam was the best person on the show. She was the only one who could choose herself over everyone else. A lot of people get mad when you choose yourself, thinking it's selfish, but depending on everyone else to take care of you is what's selfish. Nobody can make you have love and respect for yourself.
They were all birds
@@nordette😂 good one
Carrie is not Big's type and she knew it deep down. This is why Carrie relates to Barbara Streisand's character in the movie The Way We Were and it was reflected in the episode where she tells Big a line from the movie.
Can you do one on "Girlfriends" and their toxic relationships with one another and men in general?
Yes plz!!! I couldn’t even finish watching that show it was such a mess. That and half and half (although I do like that show)
I used to get addicted to TV series. I was deep into Girlfriends reruns , then one night they just stop showing them 🤯😡. Now , it's on Netflix, but I guess I am still in my feelings lol .😕😅
I actually never finished it bc I don’t like sitcoms but I will def add it to the list!
Yes I would love to see this.
Yes I would love to see this.
Carrie’s dad abandoned her as a small kid or baby which explains a lot. she was a fool for giving up therapy so quickly. It drives me nuts when women are called girls 👧🏼.
I just realized I know nothing about Carrie's parents 😂
Yep never met or heard anything abt them.
@@nicolem2877 it's actually really bizarre lol
Unsurprised. It does sound weird to call women girls
The only good thing about SITC was the fashion. And Samantha. It really was struggle love for rich white women.
I remember being in fashion school and a lot of the women raved about it. The fashion was nice but some of it seemed extremely outdated and I can’t feel sympathy for someone like Carrie who constantly chased a man who didn’t choose her as his first pick. I’m sure there were some interesting storylines besides Carrie/Big and I’ll probably check it out some time after my other programs lol
Rich white women and Carrie 😂😂😂
I've never watched this show, but always heard it was so empowering. What's empowering about being a pickme for a man who's made it clear you're not his type? 🤷🏾♀️
Then the one with the red hair got pregnant when she never wanted kids and kept it. And, her BF didn't have a job and was living with her or something like that. This just sounds like one big mess
It depends on when you heard about and your stage of thinking about things. I used to love the show back in the day. I was also late teens/early 20s and getting some freedom. That's why examining these topics from different eyes is interesting.
@@BurbNBougie It was a show that focused on women's relationships through the lens of friendship and talked about sex from a woman's perspective and didn't shame them for liking it. The last thing was really the unique thing about it. Girlfriends and Living Single had covered similar ground, but were black shows on network TV where they couldn't embrace sexuality as much. On HBO, they could get into specifics and show women loving sex and those things were seen as empowering. I still don't think it was fully original, but I know it was a hard sell--all women centered shows are--and if the black shows hadn't had the ratings, Darren Starr may never have sold the pilot.
@@Kimberly_Sparkles I never liked or watched "Sex In the City" (for what it's worth I was born in 1987 and I knew some of my peers in High School watched it, but I could never relate tbh)
However, your viewpoint is definitely valid. It was the earliest programming that destigmatized unmarried childless women enjoying sex, so that's something to be admired.
He ended up starting a business with caries ex & it was successful. So he WAS a broke bartender turned business owner 😂 Bt I get your point lol
Never really watched the show religiously as a teen , i kind of watched a series or an episode here and there, used to think it was quiet nice but Carrie was never my favourite character, Samantha was and that was based on having had low self esteem issues so always imagined being a boss babe. It was as I got older and started to watch re runs that I actually started to see certain things installed in me as i grew up , the image I was expected to have, wear make up, dress this way , dress that way, lighten your skin it was like having to create a whole new persona just to get the male gaze. I hated this so whilst my female cousins were willing to do this I found myself wanting to be a Tom boy. Caused a lot clashes between my mum and i . Then I overheard some my male friends talking about the girls in the group and hearing how they put us in boxes of I will F this one but will not be seen dead with her, and those they would love to date and be seen with. Guess what? I was one of the first group they would F but not be seen with. Didn't do much for my low self esteem but it did open my eyes to being determined to not play a puppet to get a man. Then again I was surrounded by pickmes like this growing up and those women like my grandmother and my mum who opened my eyes to decentering men and valuing myself foremost. Hollywood etc really was and is still selling alot of b.s in the form a happy ever after.
I may be entitled to compensation lol. I watched SATC when it premiered & had a 5 yr situationship in my 30s smh
Carrie asked for NOTHING and Big gave her even LESS.
DAMN
the real woman Candace, didn't even end up with mr big so the entire toxic love story ending with happily ever after is a lie so all of those games were for nothing. all the toxic pick me bs was for nothing.
EXACTLY. IRL Candace ended up with the Russian but the writers said the viewing public wanted her back with Big.
Gotta give the Pickmeishas what they want, I guess... 😵💫
The problem with Carrie’s character is that her relationship with Big lasted way past its expiration date.
If she had learned from her mistakes, dump him around season 4 and little by little got closer to a successful woman who respects herself with or without man, then the entire show would have a different meaning. It would be relatable and empowering.
But the fact that she ended up with a guy that jilted her and that is presented as the epitome of romance 💘 makes us angry at her because we wanted better for her and for us.
Exactly. Cadence said that it wouldn’t make sense for a happy ending for them.
I always wanted Carrie with Aidan but looking back, Aidan was too good for her.
Rewatching is cringe, Carrie comes off as very selfish and draining. After each fight with Big she wanted to cry to at lunch & when Miranda said enough she got mad as if they had to listen to her constantly whining about him.
Friends like that are annoying af and don’t care at all about their friends. Their friends are just placeholders they emotionally dump on until they find a man to emotionally dump on. Gross.
Right
Big was 100% a narcissist, their relationship was always about his comfort, his need. Like getting back with carrie into a committed relationship without telling carrie he was planning to move to paris. Big had the housewife with Natasha and he still cheated on her with carrie. Big lives by what pleases and benefits him that's his problem. His actions are about benefiting himself, you're rarely ever seeing him go all out for someone else.
Yep!!! Men like Big can be poor male’s as well. Big is so open with his horrible behavior because he is rich. Poor males have the same mindset but it’s worse because if you get pregnant by him you will end up in generational poverty. Especially if you are a BW. Mr. Big’s personality and character always sucked. I think women gave him a pass because he was rich and good looking to a degree.
Big is a hardcore avoidant.
I’m from a younger generation where Carrie Diaries (a prequel with Carrie in highschool) was a show on abc family with Austin Butler. I remember her being very fantasy like about love and romance with no boundaries, so it tracks that this is her persona in Sex and the City.
THAT WAS A PREQUEL!?!? I had no idea!!!
@@edwardlovrr yup!
It was made as a prequel but came out years after sex and the city....it was a new show
When I was younger - I didn’t cringe at the show but now I do. Carrie gave him so many chances and took him back and that’s why he felt like she would forgive him for not showing up to their wedding!
The late 90s/early 2000s (not to mention preceeding decades) were so toxic for women
Samantha was always the best character independent, confident and. intelligent.
Idk she def was wild and had never got tested 😂❤ love her but what lol
Great job!!! This is so well done 🙌
This is so depressing to realize. I was in my mid 20’s during the height of this season. We felt so cool drinking our martinis and glasses of wine watching this show. And catching exactly NONE of the horrific red flags in this show & in the horrible choices we were making - in men and women friends. The world is more obviously horrific & dark today, but I would give anything to be in my 20’s now. The pickme mind control was just normal 20 years ago. It’s real grief processing this now that I’m 50. So much lost. So much gained now, but the grief is a necessary part of the process.
I feel the same! I feel grief for how badly we were encouraged into bad relationships by the toxic pop culture of the time. I had my own version of Big (he was broke and dusty 😂but he was like Big in how he treated me and I kept going back for it) and NOW I just cannot believe how I put up with that crap! So many of my friends at the time did the SAME, though, it’s literally how it was at the time and shows like this made it seem normal and ok. At least I’ve stuck with therapy, made a lot of progress and am truly happy with a man decentered life. Hugggsssss sister 🫂
I think the characters can represent women at different phases in their life
When i watched the show i always saw it as a cautionary tale. I thought the writers were saying "dont be like these people". I was shocked to see people wanting to be like her. Not all humans have the ability to deconstruct art.
Is it bad if I still see Bigs appeal? Like obviously he’s trash but he’s wealthy, classy, witty, smooth, tall, handsome, charismatic, etc. Dude is literally the 1%. Carrie grew up lower middle class so of course hes a god to her
He's literally the Prince Charming we were all groomed (brought up) to believe in.
I rooted for Carrie. She was my girl, I wanted her to win, Big included. Although he put her through her paces and I mean the episode with the dominoes when Big went in the hospital and Carrie was looking after him. I, even had it with him
But remember Carrie stood up for herself, in American Girl in Paris Part Une. Big comes to Carrie to cry wolf, for what is it the 360th time. And she goes, "You and I, nothing. You will not jerk me around." She let him HAVE IT! It was so cathartic for me. I lived vicariously through her, she had my dream life (minus all the rando hookups)
At the end of the day, I think it's a generational thing. This new generation has names for all the things, gaslighting, narcissism and decentering, so it's easy to pick her apart.
Being a Gen X-er to me, Carrie lived a charmed life. She was in the city, doing her art (writing) She found her person, Big, although he was problematic.
We held space for the romanticization of things. Now everything is supposed to be a point by point analysis.
Everything is black or white, feast or famine.
I love ❤️ singing Carly Simon's, Coming Around Again.
I BELIEVE IN LOVE!
@@thomslotusflower6025 beautifully said. It was before social media so girls couldn’t compare notes and swap horror stories. Things that seem obvious to us were unusual back then.
I loved when Carrie stood up for herself in the Paris episode. I also loved when Big read her book and was like “I had no idea I hurt you so badly” It showed growth and accountability on his part.
I loved how Carrie never lost her youthful (sometimes childish/self centered) outlook. Can we blame a metaphorical princess for loving a prince?
@@thomslotusflower6025You hit it right on the head
He was a cheater, liar, manipulative, and a narc. If u think that’s appeal then I need help.
Carrie was a party favor. A chic to have fun with. He doesn't respect her because she acts like a teenager. He wanted someone more on his level. Business woman or social status wise.
So frustrating when your friend is heartbroken over some guy who has been very up front about the fact that they are strictly casual and he will not be interested in anything serious. Women really think they are so special and cute that they can force someone to form a deep attachment and change their whole philosophy on life and relationships. And then get destroyed when the impossible never happens.
That's why I like Samantha . Because Carrie was wild the whole time. P.s the young lady is so pretty and her hair is the perfect black girl blonde ❤❤
I was always a fan of Miranda.
Blond is natural black hair color
@@stud6414
Thank you I NEVER EVER met a naturally Blonde BW. 🤷🤷🤷🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦
Tom and Jerry dynamic is such a good description.
I’m SO HAPPY someone finally said it. Carrie was the biggest pick me in that show. Big treated her like trash and dragged her through the mud and she went back each time. Even the day of the wedding he stood her up and she STILL got back with him and married him. He married Natalia and he cheated on her and still still married him. Samantha was the ONLY smart one in the show. She slept with every and anyone which I didn’t like but she was a boss and she showed it. She took charge of her life and her career and didn’t depend on a man for it.
S&C was written by a gay dude....in the 2000s. Go figure.
He was also played favorites on set between SJC and Kim Cattrall. With KC…there is no SATC…just yt ladies who lunch
It was supposed to be a show about 4 gay dudes in the city, but they knew nobody would watch that at the time, so they shoehorned women into the roles.
@toscadonna Queer as Folk is the answer to S&TC
Darren Star was the creator of the show, but the first few seasons were heavily based on the book with the same name by Candace Bushnell. Carrie was an alter ego used by Candace to candidly write about her life in the public column she wrote while living in New York in the 80s and early 90s. A lot of the written portions that Carrie narrates in the show are exact quotes from the column (book) by Candace. Hope that clarifies things.
Yea they still make the show steer towards male-centeredness. Ew
I think Carrie was meant to be more relatable than aspirational. Who hasn’t pined after a guy who gave us the unbothered treatment?
PopCultureFanGirl congrats in your first video in youtube🎉🎉. I love love love feminism video essays of pop culture and im so ready to engage with this content in the future!
About the essay: Big has always been the physical representations of new york in the series. He is big, luxurious, out of reach and kinda mysterious. So he is like this double reference for carrie, not only the unattainable man, but also the unattainable lifestyle. He is effortlessly classy, totally different to carrie, who is kind of a mess (with her shoe addiction and her countless failed relationships). The whole show is about her following the trail of this man that gives her the bare minimum and she just accepts it. And it makes me so pissed that the show lets them end up together, because it validates the delusion that some women have, that the man will change for you if you try enough, if you beg enough. its more stupid when you realize that the author who based the book in her experience, actually never got together with her mr big, she begged and pleaded, she was the cool girl, and it never worked.
Also a note, carrie was not a girls girl, she mocked any woman who got between her and mr big, constantly talked over her friends problems to speak about her man, and more than once put men above her friends with no remorse.
Nobody would watch this show if all characters were perfect and smart ,she is there to amuse us
Exactly!!! I feel like everyone is way too serious in this comment section. It's just a show and it fulfilled its purpose to entertain us.
This show was exactly like IRL , trials & tribulations. 😢 But , i was heartbroken when that furniture guy found out Carrie cheated on him , with Big . Omg the hurt he felt , i felt 😞 😢. He loved her down , inside & out , wow . Then, they tried to rekindle, but he couldn't. 🥺
Yes, it was a shame the way Carrie treated Aiden. He really cared about her.
She was trash and weak.
I like that we are going back and thinking about older media with new lenses.
Nope! Big was jealous of Carrie like men are jealous of women in real life. He always found ways to take the attention away from her (ex: the phone call at a wedding where she recited a poem). He knew she loved him and used that love as a weapon against her.
Don't be a Charlotte either
Whew 😥. She was heard to take
Girl, yes, I remember that one scene where she was crying about when she was going to find "the one." Romantic then. CRINGE now.
Atleast Charlotte married and dated men with money.
@@levelupgoddess9289
But her excessive desperation was pathetic
"carrie bradshaw represents everything that i don't want to see in a woman" 😂 what a quoteeee. THAT'S what i'm talking about!
even this century, still lots of directors uses female role dumbly. 'i'm a cool woman feminist who can sex whoever i want!! and i can handle my children!" THAT'S NOT A FEMINISM duh.
we need a female role who doesn't care about sh** and wants to be success on her job!!!
we don't even want cutiepie boy! plz! ughhhh
however, thanks for making this goood series of video! BurbNBougie!💗
The way that Carrie just keeps PURSUING Big semi-desperately, including coming to his place grumpy and drunk already, just gives off "written by a man" vibes. But i guess Candace Bushnell was the writer, so it's not always men who write messy needy women. 😂
And then she finally got him and then he didn't want to get married and then they got married and then he dies eventually. Le sigh. Not worth it 😢😅
Women can be messy, needy & emotional though. Women can be many traits… I mean one of the characters just sleeps around 🤣
Carrie probably didn't think she could get any better. To her Big was it. And she threw herself at him because she had no foresight. With the type of talent and charisma she had she could have changed her life and MOVED out of NYC and travel to various places where she could have found someone great. But she was complacent. She lived in a tiny world of shoes, cigarettes and constant complaining.
She wouldn’t have moved out of NYC because she loved it there
It was actually a show about friendship among women, and the relationships with men were sidelines. SITC wasn't as liberal, and progressive as we thought in 90's and early 2000.
Samantha was WAY AHEAD OF HER TIME. Zero apologies. Women in the 90s were still obsessed with marriage
I hear similar criticisms of Charmed all the time. Idk why we can't accept that some things were progressive for their time. We didn't wake up one morning with all these rights, philosophies, and freedoms! There were baby steps between.
I've never watched the show but this felt like such a nice, informative gab! I liked it!
Unpopular opinion but a lot of women are like Carrie. How many women have been in toxic situationships that they don’t wanna let go of?
And that's the reason for this discussion. So that we can learn from this and make better choices
Carrie didnt put her foot down with Big. He tested her and found out how much she would put up with. She seems to want a lifestyle with a man like Big so much, becuase she never had access to men like that, she put up with anything...she was intimidated by Big..once she got with the rich Russian, then big was checking for her.
Natasha always had access to men like Big and she wasnt intimated by him. Natasha was the general girl next door boring, however she came from satus and access to men which was probably why she had that energy around Big and why he married her. We didnt see much from their relationship, but Natasha brought that energy.
But Big wasn't good for anyone and didn't live in his truth. He was with boring Natasha but was cheating on her with Carrie who was fun and quirky. He wanted the best of both worlds.
Natasha had a career. She was a model
I liked Carrie , loved her clothes & her personality. But , i tried a million different ways to see her as cute & i couldn't. I know that's also probably why Samantha didn't " see it " for Carrie . B/c Samantha was very pretty 😍.
I think there's one episode in which Carrie mentions that her father had walked out when she was pretty young. But seriously, she's in New York, where there's no shortage of therapists!
Brilliant assessment. I couldn't stand Mr. Big. Carrie had very little self-esteem and Mr.Big took advantage of that. The things she went through. My ego alone couldn't take it.
Carrie was the WORST!!!! Every time I re-watch the series (which is often) I notice little different things every single time. She had no character development whatsoever. Horrible friend, horrible girlfriend. Big, Aiden, big again, Aiden again, Marries big, kisses Aiden in the 2nd movie while married to Big, like this character just never grows tf up.
Lovin' this type of content! Great job, Yudiye!
Any thoughts on Bridget Jones? Because I get bad vibes off of Mark Darcy
Now that I know the term for negging I can definitely see that with Mark. I’ll have to do a video on that.
@simplytoldbyudea I followed your page! Plus also I think there is more to his divorce with his Japanese ex wife (the fact we don't know her name or have heard or saw her is 🚩)
Oh, I'm here for this!!! We need more of this. Love your intern so much
I always only liked Charlotte and Samantha, the way Carrie chased Big was shameful. Aiden was loving and kind and handsome, but Carrie was definitely bad for him. I disliked that they ended up married because he truly didn’t love her like that. She was obsessed with him, I don’t think she loved him in a healthy way.
I really love this style of content with your guest. Would love to see more in the future 🫶🏾
@2:50 I have a friend who chased a man for 7 YEARS!!!! When she first approached him, he TOLD HER she wasn't his type !! She has dyed platinum blonde hair and spray tan. She is VERY conveniently attractive. Her response was, " I'm everyone's type." She emotionally abused herself for years over this guy. I never gave this guy hate because he was very honest. All the other friends in her group would destroy this guy on the regular.
Carrie was so triggering to me when I watched this series. I embarrassingly saw so much of myself in her. She became insufferable by the end of the show! Big showed her over and over where she stood in his life and she refused to accept it. She was also quite irrational a lot of the time as well. Stocking him at church, hunting down his ex wife, etc like maam!! I’m still team Big though lol he’s one of my fav characters in the series.
He doesnt respect her because shes unattractive at first. Then he gradually begins to love her for her but still doesnt find her pretty. So he feels like hes doing her a favor by being with her and treats her bad but then when she leaves he remembers he actually likes her soul and asks for forgiveness. Again and again
I love this! Makes me want to rewatch it.
I can't wait for the Aiden/Carrie analysis and I hope do one on Miranda/Steve. This was well done! ❤❤❤
I get the whole pick me logic thing, but let's be for real. Most women are carrie and had been her at some point in time. I was one and have no shame in that. I am one of those women who like and relate to carrie the most. Do i still have that mindset? No. But i like the series, and i wouldn't be interested in watching a series where women are always about empowerment, etc. Yes, it's good, but realistically, reality isn't like that. And no, i do not agree with everything carrie did, but i like the realness about it. Social media have everyone thinking that life goes one way and that all women are hypergamous, knows their worth, and all of that, and that's straight-up delusionsal. You don't have to agree with me.
That’s why we’re talking about it so we know what not to do
@simplytoldbyudea yeah I get that. But sometimes I just see people shaming women for they're poor choices and It don't always sit well with me. Not saying this is what the video was about, but from others content creators
You sound triggered and like pain porn
Most definitely we've all been there. I'm still a big fan of the series too and will always watch ❤
I think Big liked how obsessed Carrie was with him. He knew he could do anything and Carrie would want him. I enjoy when the main character of the show unintentionally becomes the worst character.
thank you for covering this i appreciate your take :) i'm glad the younger women have bonded together on the socials to teach even us more mature women things we didn't learn in our day i watch dr ramani because i have npd in my family she did a segment on npd = smex and the city lead characters and Carrie came out on top (I believe) unfortunately, i got some of my dating advice from this show makes sense my mom had npd and so i pick up on a show w/npd lead characters wow
I always liked Samantha 😂😂😂...
I admit…when I was young…I thought this show was the Bible to dating. I didn’t have the best example of relationships growing up…and so I felt this show was the guideline. I understand this is a tv show but it was different from what I saw in 1998 as a 17 year old kid…it was ground breaking…and I thought is this what empowerment looks like? I made all the mistakes…went into debt to buy labels…stayed in relationships that I knew weren’t good for me…but didn’t leave because I had no self esteem. The cognitive dissonance was strong. It took me a minute but I finally snapped out of it years ago….and I started watching the show again after the reboot was announced. My god…Carrie was an awful person!!! She was an emotional terrorist!!! Watching this show in my 40s made me realize how toxic Big was…how much Miranda hated Steve…the racism…the entitlement…consumerism…placing value on men and labels…and Carrie’s inability to not change for a man…whether it’s location or her personality. I can go in forever….but ugh…this show is trash!!!
The show isn't trash.
You were dumb to copy a TV program, a comedy - drama show.
It was your bad decisions in life and upbringing.
Nana's 2 cents; I discovered this show , when I was 60. I worked all my lif÷ & did not watch tv to much. It came on at 10:30 pm on ABC, I think. Any way I liked the show, because it took place in New York. I was always in love with New York. That's why I liked the show. The way these women behaved around men, is un real. If a man showed no interest in me or kept me guessing, it would be no go, for me. Just living & working in New York, would have been enough . I think I must be a skipmesha, ha ha !
I’m watching this for the 1st time & most definitely CARRIE was toxic & I actually feel like Mr.Big was honest with her, it was her trying to force something with him, I’m only on S2 ep 12 already I’m pissed at the games Carrie has played
She is a cautionary tale but come on we’ve all been there. It’s called someone you like leading you on. People rarely watch shows where the character does the right thing.
All my Life I've kNOWn this breakdown is necessary.. Jeeze. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I despised Carrie. She acted like a teenager. Always chasing after men obsessed with validation. Samantha is THAT queen. I always thought samantha and Big wouldve made a power couple.
She deserved better than Big, though. She was too smart to be fooled by him like Carrie was.
Big rejected Sam in episode one because he saw that she was too strong for him to manipulate or dominate. A lion recognizes another!
@@cannellecinnamon5504Nah. Samantha came on too strong, and he didn’t like that. She was ready to leave and f him that night. He took a pass. Believe or not some men don’t like women who come at them like that. 😳 Shocking I know 😄.
I've been waiting for this piece for years! 😝
Well done!
Glad you like it!
I watched this show for years, she explained it perfectly.
I loved the clothes and style but it was just soooo depressing , I couldnt stand watching
I agree with most of this, except the not introducing Carrie to his friend part. I have literally done that myself 😅.
Y'all gon make rewatch this sh**. Let me leave before I get too engaged and actually make this trip down HBO memory lane.
It’s crazy cuz I’m watching this right now on Netflix! I’m season 2😂☺️
Me too. Season 4.
I think I’ve seen sex and city about 6-8 times (it truly is one of my favorite tv shows) And you have encapsulated everything I felt about Carrie especially in first season. However you felt about Mr.Big he never gave her the green light of wanting to be relationship Carrie pushed her way into a relationship that was never really wanted by him😐
Exactly. She was always forcing it. Carrie thought Big couldn’t commit (he told her this), but then he marries Natasha and she lost her mind stalking the poor woman when she found out he got married. Carrie couldn’t accept that he just didn’t want to commit to her. But Aiden who does want to commit and adores her, she gets annoyed with him being "perfect" (I guess perfect to her meant someone actually being into her and not treating her as an afterthought) and then cheats with Big. It never made sense to me. I was always like "Guh, isn’t this what you wanted. A guy who wants to commit." Then has the nerve to rekindle their relationship in AJLT. Claiming she made a mistake. I bet if Big was still alive, she wouldn’t even entertain Aiden. This annoys me. And guess what she’s trying to force things with Aiden because Aiden is somewhat unavailable (issues with his son and also cautious because she broke his heart before). Her favorite pattern (chasing after unavailable men).
Honestly - watching them throughout the series it definitely seemed like she was as always way more into him than he was into her. At the end it seemed he settled for her because she just wouldn’t leave. Even if it’s the whole wedding thing obviously he didn’t have enough respect for her that he didn’t show.
I agree. Carrie is not Big’s type. When he married Natasha she should have understood that.
This was soooo good! We want more of the intern 😊
Agreed!!
Can I just say, your voice is very soothing! 😊
I enjoyed this way more than I expected, especially given the fact I barely watched Sex and the City.
YAYYYY
Finished it, Im not sure why people tune into long form commentary on TikTok that being said, I agree. Its the reason I couldnt watch the show, the dude just wasnt interested in her that way. At least the first season which is all I was able to get through, the friends really weren't hinting at all that this dude wasn't into her.
I also agree I don't think she was his type. I think not only social status but... I just don't think Carrie did a lot for him physically.
If it was written today. It's basically the dude who never texts you back, the conversations fall off, he doesn't reach out to set dates, etc.
He might call you but never actually set up dates with you to see you unless asking you out in a situation where he could easily get you naked.
The only thing I disagree with. Is we have to be realistic. I would never tell a guy he's out of my league, go for the absolute best you can get. But again if it was filmed today, Id ask Carrie, under the Hinge App, on who LIKED YOU, what are those men like on average, thats probaby about the league your in.
I think the show would have been better..if she didn't meet this dude immediately. As nlan almost 40 yo, this man wasn't interested in her, why she wasting her time.
I found it hard to watch. I think they should have made the show a little less about dating. Maybe have more interactions with the friends.
I could have seen someone like Charlotte and Big, yes. If I could be anyone on the show, it would be Charlotte lol
If we make long form on TT, and ppl tune in, cool. Some watch our stuff, some don't. They allow space for 30 min and the platform has been shifting for a bit.
Now days women want to be more like Miranda
Oooo..do Girlfriend next! 🙏🏾
Love this series idea. I see these shows so differently now that I'm more mature. In the 1st movie I didn't like that she married him after he embarrassed and dumped her on the wedding day right before the wedding, then she settled for that courthouse wedding, ugh...Please do Everybody Loves Raymond, poor Deborah....
The character of Carrie can’t have anyone out of her league. She’s a professional writer, a fashionista, beautiful and independent. She just had a terrible personality because her self esteem was so low.
I love media analysis do I'm happy to see it come to this channel. I think PopCultureFangril did a solid analysis so far, but she can tighten it up some. Review and edit out some of the repetition and she'll be a force to be reckoned with. ❤
Thanks for the feedback. It was kind and she's a newbie. I'm sure she'll continue to grow as she goes along.
@@BurbNBougie I'm rooting for her!
I think some of these needs historical context, which is fun to say about a show as a teenager.
It wasn't Carrie that had the most impact, it was Samantha. At least in my group of friends, "dating like a man" was what we learned from this show. Carrie was more of a cautionary tale, we all know women like this, we even discussed our friend who would drop us as soon as she dated some guy.
I always was more of a Charlotte, but I saw some of my own behaviour and corrected it.
Also, yes, the condom scene is the reason why he sees her as "not the marrying type". These people were born in the 1960s, raised by madmen era fathers, and having sex without commitment still made you easy and a ho in their eyes, a fun girl, not a wife. My own mother told me not to buy condoms in our own town, but in a bigger city nearby in the early 2000s, no joke. Charlotte had some things right about men in that generation, there were some rules in their heads.
But isn't it great writing, so detailed and true, that even the next generation can relate?
The gag of it all is, Carrie chased this man for years, was ghosted on her wedding day only for this man to DIE after he took her youth years. Even in the movie, she settled for that simple wedding just to please him and stroke his ego. This is a very true outlook ive had and seen so many of my girlfriends change just because of a man and as a grown woman, I don't put up with women like that. Loved Carrie no doubt, lol, but she definitely was a beautiful mess!!!!!!
Seriously, the relationship they tried to sell between the two of them was the entire reason my autistic ass was never a fan of the show. I could never understand why someone, who was supposed to be super relationship savvy, was allowing themselves to be (and seemed to want to be) treated like that. So many women watched that toxic train wreck and thought that kind of thing was normal, it was freaking mind boggling.
Now I need to go rewatch it 😂. I watched this as a teenager /young adult so seeing this through mature eyes should be good
GREAT analysis and a refreshing new viewpoint of the Carrie/Big dynamic!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤️
I'm loving this!
Love this breakdown. I was a SITC addict in my twenties 😊
This show was popular when I was a kid so as an adult I’ve watched it. This show has single handily taught me why a season break is necessary. Carrie is exhausting. Big has shown who he is and she refuses to accept it. I stopped watching after season 3 it hurts watching😂
I’m younger so I wasn’t the generation that watched this when it was super popular, everytime I see analysis, it makes me wonder WHY it was so popular because it was so toxic.
Coming from that generation I can explain:
1. It was the first time in tv where women in their 30’s and UNMARRIED were not labeled as pathetic, ugly, whores. They were portrayed as successful career women who have fun and are smart. Already a revolution at that time ( hard to believe, I know lol)
2. First time in tv where women talked about sex from Their perspective, what they want, like etc.
Before that women were always the object never the subject. Every thing was told from the male gaze. And first time in TV where women were not “punished “ for enjoying casual sex ( punishment being raped or killed. Like often in movies at that time). Horrible 😢 I know.
3. Even though the ladies talk about men, the soul of the series its the female friendship ( they are each other soulmate and center their friendship even while in relationships or marriage)
4. The romantic relationships were the opposite of the usual bs romantic comedy. They were more realistic. Even for big and Carrie . The big mistake of the show was Carrie ending with big. It wasn’t supposed to end that way but mid series they got a new producer and he decided to have a stupid fairytale ending with big which betrayed the whole purpose of the show. Even the original book went against this scenario.
There you have it. I hope it helped 😀
@cannellecinnamon5504 yes..those relationships they had on the show..every woman, no matter their race, who was dating during that time could relate to some of the dating experiences on the show in some way or fashion.