The moment when he asked who should pay and the crowd answered "MAN!", it became painfully obvious why they found themselves at that point in their lives when they have to go to public speeches about how to get a man.
But isn't tax slightly cheaper due to the royal families land? So if the taxpayers are paying for the meal, the royal families own land is supplying a small portion of it. So in a way he is paying...
My ex always insisted I pay for the food, even if she got the most expensive items on the menu. When I told her “ I’m not an ATM machine I can’t just keep paying for your food on every date we go on” she got mad and said “ if you’re poor just say that” I’m married now. And it’s not to her.
my coworker has a lady that makes him buy everything and pay for all the fancy dinner dates and I just shake my head. I probably would end things quickly if I were in that situation. There needs to be respect for the person not the wallet.
hahaha nice one mate. i guess she is either single or did indeed find an ATM machine to marry. but typically... those treat their women as property. guess she deserves it then :))
@@ragael1024 exactly if they wanna bring nothing to the relationship except sex that’s what they’ll be seen as. Personally not speaking for all men but a partner who contributes and carries the bills and struggles with me is better than someone who just lays on there stomach once a day. Sitting at home eating all my food watching tv etc
I'd feel bad if my date felt it was her duty to pay for it just because it was her idea and despite I thought it was a good idea and I'm having fun. And I think this feeling is right. If this feeling is right, then it should work the same the other way around. I suppose it's okay to play it by paying for dates in turns, and maybe for the first one, whoever invited the other is in charge. But that only works if apparently there will be a next one.
Spot. On. When my girlfriend INSISTED that she pay her share on our first date, it made me feel so much more attracted to her because it showed me she really cared and valued her time with me. It says something that this crowd is a bunch of women in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s and this is the mindset they have. It doesn’t take long to make you wonder why they’re still single. Guys aren’t complicated, you don’t need to go to a seminar to figure us out
Then a hush falls over the room when he goes on the second part of his explanation. You hear the horrified silence from every women thinking about those “assholes” that they chased away based in this single conversation.
zadose what a shallow and petty way to judge people. Your character leaves something to be desired. I get the impression that you don’t do well at being part of a team. You’re too busy being a victim of “the patriarchy” to contribute.
zadose I am the only paycheck that comes into my marriage. I do not expect my wife to pay for shit. I never have. But ... If you have a job (because you may be single and need to pay your own bills), you should show that you are willing to be a team from the word go. This means offering to contribute. It does not make a man a beta to need a gesture in good faith. And he will still pay. It shows that you are serious, and will pull your weight in the relationship. And a beta will fold on every issue. My wife doesn’t have a job, but you can bet that taking care of our home is her job. She will contribute. It is not negotiable. To say that a man should pay and not expect the offer of contribution to earn his respect in order to be an “Alpha”, is to demand that he behave like a beta to keep your interest. Of course he should pay, and he should demand the same respect on a date that you would show your best friend. If he is willing to let the first date be a one sided transaction, that sets an example for the rest of the relationship. That he will roll over and be your beta male. And you can call him your alpha because he barks at your beck and call, but it is a delusion. Leaders work alongside their team giving guidance and direction. A boss tells others what to do whilst sitting behind a desk.
I think it's best to always do an even split because it's stressful to have to keep that information stored and always even. In your example a meal that one person pays for could be 100$,while the other one could be 50$. So at the end of the day one person would always pay more.
I see your point but I disagree with a 50% split. Paying for what you got is what I think is proper As someone that orders based on price because I always gotta be careful, I’m not gonna cover the other person who didn’t care. I see how it’s simple but so many people don’t seem to care enough about price to me so I just don’t work that way haha Great comment! @Sasaki
@@roxysparks5003 good point. That is even better. I guess now that I see it more carefully 50/50 was probably invented by women. Most women earn less than a man cuz of their choices and so they have less to spend however they still want the pricey food and so 50/50 works in their favor.
@@blackdragonstory1122 that's not how it works: since the woman is paid less from your reasoning, paying half is more demanding on her paycheck than it is for the man that earns more
1:38 "If you go on a date with a guy and you don't offer to pay your share, you weren't taught right." *Absolute dead silence and everyone stares with a blank face* "If you go on a date and he doesn't pay, he wasn't taught right." *Everyone immediately smiles, giggles, and agrees* That paints the room right there.
@@laurag8126at a wedding, you invite people you love and care about a first date is to explore, dip your toes in different oceans so no, if you want some old-school from men's side, go old-school from womens side miss double standard
@@laurag8126your reply doesn't give any reason why a man should pay. Your excuse is that you kiss and therefore a man should pay? lmao😂. Sounds like bs to me.
@@laurag8126 You know well and true with that logic, it's the same as saying "men should pay" coz men initiate majority if not all the time. So no, in the case of dating, it isn't really anything like a normal invite to a party or a wedding. You have every right to say no if you're not interested in the other person. If you say yes, you should offer to pay, unless it's a very fancy place you can't afford to pay. It is a mutual effort to make a relationship work. Neither person's time is more valuable than the other. If you plan on putting no effort in contributing and expect the man prove to you his worth by making him pay for your time, you're just entitled.
@@laurag8126that's not what your reply said at all. And if that's what you were trying to say then stop writing a whole ass essay nobody wants to read
@@laurag8126 so you women are too scared to ask out men and this is somehow men's fault? wtf? Just say a out loud you're a gold digger. It's socially acceptable for you to say anyway. No shame in that.
I also think he should have made a point like. a women should be independent enough to offer to pay for both meals not just her share. I mean it's also about being equals and it's strange that it was expected from men to pay till now and now women ought to be treated equally but aren't judged like the men...
Actually that's correct which is why he's charging these women $3,000 per seat. He's telling these "old hags" that his attractive ass is worth that time as they're the ones that got suckered in by his ads. It's the same thing with women. If you saw a woman that didnt even notice you exist and you're the one asking her out to dinner then of course you should pay. He's talking to women that can't get men at all and of course they're trying to wooo men so apparently they have to pay.
I think he is more referring to the expectation that men HAVE to pay all the time regardless of what point they are at in the relationship. Yeah sure if you ask them out then you should pay but at a certain point you start working together as a team, like he said if you went out with a friend you wouldn't then put the expectation on them that they should have to pay for you every time just because they invited you. Besides the woman offering to pay is a sign of respect and just good manners in general and most guys appreciate the gesture.
Is she actually serious about the man paying for 4-5 months in every single date? I never met a woman who didn't offer to pay something after the second date
The "trying means something to a guy" is so accurate if a girl tells me and makes me feel like she wants to help me and contribute and is not using me for my money/attention I will 100% be more inclined to pay everything for her
If a man likes me and he is trying to court and impress me, he should be masculine enough to pay. I am contributing with my time and attention and possibly a future with the man. And plus it costs me money to get my hair done, makeup, dress, and shoes and gas money to drive to the location to meet the man. If I was asked to pay, that will be a turn off for me. I should have just stayed home and ordered take out food.
Paying for date is a part of chasing and masculine. Only cheap men don't. Real men, gentlemen love chasing. Real men feel it's his pleasure to pay for the lady he like. Her gratitude, her time, her feminine are all a real men need. Paying for date is no problem to a real men.
@@TA12002 All women SAY they want equality, every single one of them, that is beyond any shadow of a doubt. However, they are betrayed by their behaviour. The only reason women say they want equality is because they feel under pressure to say so in public. In private, their behaviour is observably different. Most men these days know what hypergamy is and have seen it in action during their daily life. Women are moral cowards, unfortunately, and cannot be trusted to articulate their actual moral position. In some ways, this is not their fault, they're compelled to lie by feminist-imposed social norms and the media who constantly push this narrative of equality and if you disagree with this narrative then you’re smeared as a bad person.
These are the ones seeking help and they still wont listen to what hes saying. It's like they go just to be told it's not their fault but, it is their fault lol.
“Treat your partner like your best friend.” The room falls silent with every seat filled by a single person. Each one thinking about all the potential relationships that were ruined by this single point of contention.
@zadose It's not about treating them exactly like your gal friends. It's about the mutual respect and common courtesy that you hold for said best friend (even if it was a "gal friend"). Whether it's respecting your best friend or respecting the friendship, it's all about that level of respect. You wouldn't flat out disrespect your gal friends by assuming that they'll cover you EVERY time you guys go out clubbing/drinking/shopping, so why assume it of someone you're supposedly romantically interested in?
@zadose women want a life partner but none of the team work. You are a materialistic leech vast majority of women are no wonder women initiate over 70% of all divorces ya only marry for financial convenience
One thing he didn't mention here is that even on a first date, I always want the woman to offer and say 'how much for this or how much do I owe you?' and 100%, I and any guy worth their salt will say no, no, no, I've got this. It's nice to have the offer, even if a guy pays most of the time. The offer from the woman is what is nice and basic manners. Or she can say I'll get the next one even if she doesn't. Like he did say though, if a girl doesn't offer, it's a lack of basic social skills and shows that she is entitled and a selfish type of person. It's the thought that counts
I always offer to split the bill or pay for my own drink. If the guy really wants to cover it, I thank him and move on. Appreciate the gesture, but don't expect it every time. Men are people with their own financial successes and struggles too, not just unlimited ATM machines. I respect Matthew even more for pointing out this double-standard.
@@notanotherseahorse8369 It is a wonderful feeling being treated every now and then because it's a thoughtful gesture. I enjoy it a lot! I just don't expect it every time. There's a key difference. Also, how much money a person makes has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity. $100 per date can be a lot for some people, especially depending on how often dates occur. It adds up! I'm in my early twenties, and the last thing I want to do is put financial pressure on someone else who may already be dealing with rent, school loans, medical bills, etc. Respecting a person's financial needs doesn't hurt anyone, and "playing the cool girl" as you stated it, has always gotten me further in developing meaningful romantic and platonic relationships than "being treated like lady" 24/7.
@@thejessifar4619 Yups, being treated means more when I know it's genuine, not out of obligation or a ploy. It makes it more special to when it's a treat, as something you don't have all that often. I also agree with going conservative & casual for a first date in terms of money spent, such as bike ride down a trail and an ice cream cone. Now, I realize some may argue that that's too cheap or it's like dating a friend. Not necessarily. Friends may pay for each other's dinner on occasion, as a way to show they care. There's also a need for caution because a first date can be used a test to see what it's like to date this person, at least firsthand if you've known the person for a while. There's also the chance of changed minds, ghosting, and using. So, if things go sour, there wasn't much invested. Thus, no need to feel obligated to compensate the other person or feel guilty about how much you spent on a waste of a date. However, by going on a casual date, I wouldn't want my date to think I'm not interested or like him as a friend. That's why I'd kiss him on the cheek on the first date, if he allows.
As a woman it was really embarassing for me when they all went 'THE MAN HAS TO PAY!" How did he manage to reply in a calm and polite way is admirable.. Even though he did snap a bit when he said "Ok, if he has to pay then you have to have sex with him!". Lol, totally right.
laboomerang I thank you for agreeing with him. As a 19 year old guy, I’ve been berated by other “feminists” because I’m a male. They say all men rape or lie or beat women. I was raised not to, and I hate hurting people. I will always stick to that. And I wanna thank you for not being like those people. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼
Guillermo Calderon I think is a cultural thing.In Europe,everyone pay for their things(or take turns to invite The other person)but a lot of Girls from US or Latin america have this weird mindset of "The Guy has to pay".
Jock Puddy It doesn't matter, it's about women wanting to be independent and equal. Even if one makes more money than the other, if one of them didn't have a good time, neither of them should be expected to pay the full bill, rather go dutch on it.
This was amazing. The room went QUIET when he said “ the moment you say to a guy you have to pay for my time, you’re saying this relationship isn’t equal” 👌
they dont care.. they were quiet because they didnt have a rebuttal and since they were paying.. they wouldnt call him mysoginistic.. but they probably still thought the men should pay because it is a man's duty or whatever
Replace the ending of every sentence a woman says with, "when it is convenient for me". "I'm a feminist (when it is convenient for me)." "I believe in equality (when it is convenient for me)." "I'm a strong, independent woman (when it is convenient for me)." "I'm old fashioned (when it is convenient for me)." And most important of all: "I'm on the pill (when it is convenient for me)."
Motivação Para Todos -- Yes that’s why you should date the hardcore feminists. They do not mind paying. Oh and don’t approach beautiful women. They will ghost you if you ask to split the bill. It’s very simple ☕️
@@candykane5442 Lol. You think men who have self-respect would mind if women ghost them. Women who see themselves at a higher level to demand money from men for their time is a huge turn off. Women who don't pay for their share don't deserve self-respecting and confident men. They'll probably get simps.
" who should HAVE to pay " turns the gesture into an obligation. " who GETS to pay " turns the gesture into an act of kindness. There's a difference. The point of a date is that you WANT to do something nice with and for the person you like, not that you HAVE to do something nice in order to get someone to like you. Male or Female, its that simple.
Very well said! Allow me to also add that during the dating stage, two individuals are still getting to know each other (given they didn't know each other beforehand). So there is no commitment, just two people trying to see if they are romantically compatible. Too bad that there are people out there who feel ENTITLED to getting paid for just because they happen to be, in this case, female. In reality, no one is obligated to pay for the other. And as a person who always pays on dates, if I get the idea that I'm being obligated, then I don't want to pay
Paying for date is a part of chasing and masculine. Only cheap men don't. Real men, gentlemen love chasing. Real men feel it's his pleasure to pay for the lady he like. Her gratitude, her time, her feminine are all a real men need. Paying for date is no problem to a real men. Providing for women is masculine.
@@adw6894 Those real men should provide for their significant other. Until you are that significant other, they are not obligated to provide for you. We are not your father nor your husband. You're just some stranger that a man happens to try and get to know. Your definition of a "real man" revolves around being able to exploit a man. You don't get to put a narrative to what makes a real man. Begone.
@@adw6894 real men dont mind paying for real women. men look for partners in life, if your personality aint it then the most youre gonna get is screwed a few times and left on read. men arent stupid and we know what a leech looks like compared to a real woman. nowadays men are starting to be told by other men that its okay to want a woman to bring something of substance to the table before sitting down to eat for free out of the relationship. a woman who just shows up looking nice isnt enough for alot of men now. we have been told for years what we or obligated to bring just for a girl to look at us with interest, and now its womens turn to relaize they need more than just looks and some sugar walls to get in the door to that house they want.
I am a girl and when I heard that I was like WTH? Is she the queen of England or what? Does she even realize guys have to work hard for their money like everybody else?
Ikr?! I was like wtf, and this was filmed in 2016..I stopped dating over a decade ago, and even then as 'old fashioned' as I was, I still took turn paying for the dates with the men I went out with.
Rodrigo B. I still consider him one of the greats, but when i watched his latest special, i still cant argue with his delivery because it is masterful but the topics... Trump... Police beating blacks... Gender i mean jesus it was everything of the leftist agenda checklist that guarantees everyone to applaud, like every fucking comedian is doing nowadays. Osss by the way my friend, you must know i consider whitebelts to be people too!
didnt watch this , soo thats why im asking, sad to hear.About the belt , I agree with Bruce Lee...its only good to hold your pants, you can beat most of "belts" with the right will and training,and on street fights(where it matters) that count even less. But thanks,left scum taking over.
Kenn Clarete exactly this. Go half and half or alternate who pays. And this is also why on the first date you should go for something small, like ice cream or coffee, so that both parties are sure to afford it, and it's not a choice between your dignity and not being able to shop for groceries for the rest of the month. It sucks the other way around too: "I insisted on paying, now have sex with me."
"when a guy feels like you are not even trying to contribute, that's when he feels used" "and it has nothin to do with money, it has to do with lack of gesture" these 2 quotes destroyes what woman been taught! Thanks for the wisdom! Woman learn as we man also learn, for a better balance! ❤️
No lie, had a date with a woman and it didn’t even cross her mind. She even didn’t even take her wallet with her on purpose. Like she has the right for a free meal on my costs. She genuinly felt entitled to my money. So I smartly stood up (like I was going to the toilet) gave the waiter my half & left. She called me super angry claiming I should’ve paid. I said why? She said “because you’re a man”. I said: “so because fate has decided that you have ovaries in your stomache I should pay for your food? That doesn’t sound very “equal”, I’m all for equality” The thing is I would’ve had no problem paying, but this girl had an entitlement, crazy. I only pay for ladies that deserve it. I dodged a bullet. She had to call one of her friends to come to the restaurant & pay her bill🤣🤣🤣.
@@MK-hw2ir that story just shows how kings must value themselves! Well done! I have one also, i went to grab this girl i was seeing, took her to the beach, we stayed there for a while at night, a beautiful night, then she said she was hungry, ok, lets get you something to eat, i took her near her home, where there was a drive burger king, so i was asked for her what she wanted, and right before we hit the window to grab the stuff, i told her, how you gonna pay, so we fast pay and leave? And she said, wait you are not gonna pay? You aint a gentleman at all! And i said, so i went to get you in my ride, i took you to the beach for you to distress from your problems, you said you was hungry, i took you to burger king to fill up your belly, im gonna let you home save, for all of this i consider myself a gentleman, because if i would invite you to have dinner, i would take to a finess restaurant and i would very likely would pay the dinner. The rest is history, we had a discussion a couple of weeks ago, and she throw that to my face, so yeah, i dodged a bullet aswell! But hey this was not a woman, this was a person who wanted to have a man on her side to bank her! Guess what i told her to fuck off 👑😂
If you asked her out, you pay. She is not using you, she is accepting your invite and receiving from you. You are the one being the emasculated man whining about a woman accepting the invite YOU did. So sad.
Because he is running a seminar for women on how to get men. And clearly all these women need this seminar because have their heads so far up their asses, no guy wants them.
It is common sense but common sense isn't common. Also, he is probably able to use a better vocabulary and describe exactly how we are better than even I could.
He just tells it like it is. Women need that nowadays, they have these insane standards that they expect guys to live up to. How many guys tell girls like it is is? Probably none not their fathers not their bf, so your point is weak. He is filling a need that i don't see many other people filling.
truthseekr420 j exactly 98% of these women coaches tell women the same bullshit stories on how it's the man's fault or how you just need find better men etc... never telling women to look at themselves . It's a breath a fresh air to see someone like him tell it like it is
Paying for someone is an extremely nice gesture, if a friend did it for me I'd be damn grateful and probably pay them back later somehow. If however someone, like most of these women, expect or feel entitled to it just because they have a vagina then the guy is wasting his time. "No gentlemen left", right... remind me again how you being an extremely entitled woman makes you a lady?
Only a spoiled, immature idiot would see this as disrespectful. He is asking women (and men) to behave like responsible, ethical, empathetic adults and treat their date with respect and dignity, as you would treat your best friend or anyone you actually care about. If you don't, then it would be pretty obvious you're just taking advantage of the guy and don't really care about him.
This video is proof that women dont know what they want. At the beginning you hear what sounds like every woman in the room agreeing that men should always pay. Then, by the end after a simple, logical explanation of why that is wrong, they all change their mind and look at the speaker like hes the greatest guy ever for thinking this.
Ok, so you're angry at women for understanding they were wrong and accepting what the speaker was saying? Because it is often the men who CAN'T do that (accept that their point of view is wrong, even after an explanation). Like, I'm sure many women can't do that either but actually hating on them for seeing that the speakers 'simple, logical explanation' actually makes sense and then changing their views...mad
TheLastComment brah😂. And some dude In the comments is like (with air quotes) “an alpha male always pays” lil kid has probably never been on multiple dates
This is SUPER true I remember this first date I went on with this girl and she offered to pay for something made me like her more. It made me literally feel okay paying for everything. The gesture is super important.
I think some women will make the offer to pay, but not actually intend to do it. I don't think things will truly be good in society until women are asking men out half the time and paying half the time.
@@laurag8126 I would take an average looking girl without makeup who splits the bill and treats me like an equal partner over a girl who looks gorgeous in makeup and insists I pay any day of any year.
There are self proclaimed feminists for whom that is true certainly. But the basic idea of feminism is the idea that men and women should be treated equally by our society, laws, have the same opportunities for jobs and pay. That’s why you see feminists fighting for something like paternity leave where we give women far better than men, in addition to looking at pay where it’s slanted the other way. Feminism shouldn’t be turned into a negative because of the people on the fringes of that group. Because really is there any group or idea where the craziest person there is representative of the whole?
It’s so sad that he even has to talk about that. If a guy or whoever I’m on a date with insists on paying on the first date, I will insist on paying for the second one.
I agree with this. I've never not known who was paying before going out. When she invites me out, she pays. When I invite her, I do. If we mutually decided to go out, usually we both offer and one of us pays (and it swaps naturally the next time). I would never date someone who had to think hard about this and it wouldn't surprise me if the ones who do, are single.
Ameer I most of the time get my wallet out to show that I would be fine with paying and then we what happens and the guys most of the times just pay but I at least want them to know that I would be ok with paying and then the next time or the time after that I would INSIST to pay. But there are people that are using guys and let them pay all the time. I don’t get how anybody can never offer to pay and let the other person pay all the time.
@Ameer There's a difference between a feminist wanting to prove that there are absolutely no differences between men and women and a woman who believes in finding balance with her partner, which will vary from relationship to relationship.
When I was in the early dating stages with my now wife, she paid the second time we went out. At first I couldn't believe it and thought she was putting me through those ridiculous tests that women love to use, but turned out that her behavior was genuine. Looking back, I can see that this was a major sign of her character and how classy she is. She was the only women I ever dated who did this. All the others expected me to pay simply because I am a man. This is one of the many reasons I am still with her 25 years later and love her more than ever.
Actually on my first date my girlfriend paid, because she suggested the restaurant and was not sure whether I would like it. She paid and said: "next time you choose the restaurant and you buy, deal?" That's when I knew I found the right person in my life :)
I broke up recently for exactly this reason. She made me feel like I was only good for what I provided for her. I can't imagine any guy wanting to feel like that.
@@nelsonmejiaslozada9362 Selective is correct. Feminists are cowards, they only run their mouths when they have strength in numbers, otherwise feminism is just about "equality"...
Dakota Rising iv actually been with my partner for exactly a year now and not once has he even allowed me to pay for a bottle of water when I am with him. Don’t get me wrong, I always insists on paying and actually would love too atleast ONCE but he completely refuses, that’s arab men mentality 🤷🏻♀️ can’t argue with that.
Ayah Salemi atleast you offer to pay. It’s the thought that counts (unless u get a Xmas present that’s smaller then my penis, then that’s really a disappointment) I mean wait what?
zadose lol wtf your delusional if you think anyones ever going to be with you being married gives half income to both and if boys have a child with girls most of the time 99% they take the girls side and he loses mostly everything he has including the house kids etc and has to pay child support there is nothing equal about this at all feminism is dumb maybe in the olden days but now its not even important they should help others who need that in other countries also most men dont use girls for sex well they do but dont think all men do that the same with girls sex is dumb the only reason boys want it is because their brain is 100% hardwired to do it and they feel more urges then girls who would want to be in between a nasty hole and it looks disgusting
The fact that this needs to be explained to women at a time when they are fighting for "equality" worries me. I prefer if we both paid for ourselves for the first few dates so that I have enough confidence about the relationship before I invest my money on her. I would hate to have to pay for her appetizer, speciality drink, entree, and dessert.
well that's exactly it. Historically women have been taught that if he invests in you he cares about you. That gives woman confidence that a man will stick around and will not ditch her with unwanted baby or abortion. I think before we preach this we should preach more serious subjects like children who are left with one parent because (usually a man) says I am not paying. The amount of unpaid child support..at least in Canada is in millions of not billions... but who cares about the children.. women will take care of that
Equality means we have the same rights in society. Has nothing to do with dating! I think common sense is the best idea. If I cannot afford to pay for something expensive I will tell the guy. He can offer to pay for me and I can accept it. Or we can do something together that is cheaper. Etc.
"Equality means we have the same rights in society. Has nothing to do with dating!" Society has nothing to do with dating? Just accept it you like the double standard. The only reason why is it a thing is because women were not able to work. Now they can.
BRBallin1 I dated a girl like that and when she went to the restroom, I told the bartender who was a friend of mine dude she is crazy. She was ordering double shots. He actually separated the bill. Needless to say she continued ordering drinks. Then tried to say she had to leave. When he handed her....her bill she was pissed! My friend the bartender looked at her and said....he never said he was paying for your drinks! I just smiled and said you must think I’m stupid!
As a woman I'm disgusted by the women in the audience automatically expecting a guy to pay without even offering to split the bill. Women want equality but not willing to take the responsibility that goes with that.
“Half the bill equals half of me getting u off”. Don’t compare paying half the bill with helping someone “get off”. You paying half the bill shouldn’t matter, because those are 2 different concepts. Unless if of course, he doesn’t pay for the bill in full most of the time.
@Ann Vo So having a vagina AND being choosier about the man you date makes you entitled to get free stuffs from man? Still is a sick way of thinking, and this kind of attitude will probably scare the kind of man you're purseing in first place.
That's because it's not equality they're after anymore. Men have been "on top" for quite some time and in order to "balance" that a large portion of women think it needs to be flipped. That women need to be "on top" to somehow make things fair. It's not how it works but it's how they THINK it works.
3/4 months dating (which btw I think is a long dating phase) and not even once offering to pay the bill. Come on you can’t be like this. I even offer to pay my own drink on the first date when I just had one drink. Matthew is right, it’s got nothing to do with money. It’s about being polite and kind as a person.
@zadose That is WAYYYYY to soon in my opinion. What can you learn of another person in that short amount of time? Almost nothing. You haven't even (most likely) lived together. How can you be sure you can manage together for the rest of your lifes before living together?
@@coolmen7000 that's an interesting point. About your "living together" part I just had the thought that maybe this dating phase can be somewhat irrelevant because you could replace it with the actual commitment of living together in good and bad times. I want to refer to Jordan Peterson who stated that couples who lived together prior marriage tended to break up/divorce because that in itself tells your partner i live with you to check you out and reserve my right to change you if i can find someone better. And i can somewhat understand this if you say i will commit and you will commit we both give our all into making this work from the beginning and not like let's see if i would buy you as a product or can i make a better deal. I think this is very interesting to think about.
The man needs to pay for a first date. It has nothing to do with being a gold digger or not being polite. A man who truly likes you is gonna want you to know that he's got you. A man who doesn't care that much won't want to pay for you. That's how it is. I agree with Mathew on most of what he says, but he's wrong here. The woman doesn't have to offer anything, not on the first date at least.
@@ranip7644 Emad is right ya know. If a man has to pay to prove that he really likes you then what about you? Do you like him? If you dont pay then youre saying you have no interest in him.
its funny how women wants to keep the old fashioned things that benefits them but scream inequality when there are old fashioned things that doesnt benefit them
Sony -- ummm you would find that most extreme feminists are willing to go halfs but wait... you don’t want to date those types do you? That’s right... pay up! If you can’t afford it. Dating should be the last thing on your mind 💅🏽
@@candykane5442 "pay up! If you can’t afford it. Dating should be the last thing on your mind". You make it sound so much like prostitution. It's as if prostitution and dating have, almost, become synonymous. Weird.
This guy is absolutely SPOT ON. Nobody likes being taken advantage of. Make a contribution towards a relationship with a partner ladies, otherwise you are probably going to spend a large proportion of your life being single. I would not go out on a date or have a short or long term relationship with a woman if she thinks it's acceptable to use a man & take advantage of him. It's that simple.
t will only make males like you MORE BETA though.. have a mindset of a provider not a cheapskate.. and date with marriage in mind not a temporary pleasure - think long term investment
Wait wait, let me translate this from womanese, cause even this guy is none the wiser. When he says: “if you go out on a date with a guy and you don’t offer to pay your share, you weren’t taught right.” notice how everybody is silent, then he continues: “If you go out on a date and he doesn’t pay he wasn’t taught right.” And everybody’s “hear hear!” at that point. Why? Because that is literally the way they want it to play out: Miss Entitlement goes out on a date, without any sort of cash or card, and plays the silly pretend game of “let me get my purse”, at which point Mr Wallet must get out his and insist that it’s on him: “Oh such a gentleman!” That’s what they got out of this: that all they have to do is pretend to pay, and then stick to the normal routine. That is all that is wrong: they just didn’t put enough “effort” to act that part. Once they do, then they must be rewarded for their very hard work. Cause pretending to pay is very lady like and hard to pull off, you see.
Matt said something also very important. It doesnt have to do with money itself. My finances wont be hurt by bying a dinner or a drink o a date or on seven dates. The problem is that if the woman never pays or only rarely offers to pay it means that you buy her time. If i wanted to buy the time of a woman i would go directly to an escort. On the other hand there are many many guys, especially older ones who are willing to pay for the time of young and beautiful girls. Also nothing wrong with that. I would never do it (although i could) because it simportant for me that the female is attracted to my appearance and personality , but its not my business to critisize others. If they are ok with it (going out with women who think they are unattractive or even disgusting) only because they have one, its their choice.
Screw that. Unless they have actually made efforts in the past that ain't passing me. Like I might cover the first date but from there on it should be split.
Ken Cur actually fun story whenever someone presents to be slow and dumb when paying and like idk searching for wallet but can’t find it I’m even dumber and be staring at my phone or at her and be like you alright ?
This reminds me of a girl I used to date. I am currently in high school, and work my own job, we went out for about 4 months throughout that time I paid for every meal. on one of our last dates I was at her house before we left and her mom handed her $40 to pay for her meal. I later texted her mom if she did that everytime we went out and she said yes. She finessed $40 out of her mom and a meal out of me everytime we went out and never offered to pay. I realized that is not someone I want to spend my time with. (Edit) Update: I now have a wonderful girlfriend who cares for me alot. There's always someone out there for ya, keep your heads up.
J Wiro you don’t know most women. You would probably be mad if I called most men cheating whores. Until there’s statistics, you can’t say it’s the truth. And on dates I don’t pay. But I offer too. I always offer and the men insist that they pay. Why get mad at women for not paying, when most of the time men insist on paying. No one is forcing men to pay.
@@clementine8397 Chicken or the egg?? do most men pay since its expected of them or do most women never offer because they are never asked? i just assume shes a scammer if she doesnt offer and Ghost her.
Exactly, looks does half the job. If he was bold and in bad shape, I am pretty sure there would be less girls/ladies there.. I am pretty sure most of them are there hoping to win him..
well actually if the water is a guy he'd have to pay, and if not then another male water has to pay, and if not a male cook, or a male manager, and if not, sue em (not serious btw)
Don't worry I'm pretty sure America will mature over the next couple 100 years, to get to the point that we currently have in Denmark. Although the whole Trump thing might have added a few 100s
@@Ludoovik yes but HE is getting paid and because they don't/won't listen they will remain single and then go to more than one of his events and he will get paid again and again. His seminars are full of win...FOR HIM!!
Women always have lower average salary than men, less chance for job than men, and have to pay things like cosmetic, clothes more than men. So she doesn't need to pay. And if it's the guy who invites her to go date, he should pay, she already spend her time, and energy to meet you.
This shocked me. I always at least offer to pay for even a first date. One time an a first date (after he paid for the lunch I offered to pay for) my date and I wound up in an ice cream shop and I insisted on buying him ice cream. I have even insisted on paying for the entire date by the time a 3rd or 4th date. To this day my mom shakes her head at me for it, but I think it's so rude to assume that a man is going to pay. . . even if it is the first date.
If a man likes me and he is trying to court and impress me, he should be masculine enough to pay. I am contributing with my time and attention and possibly a future with the man. And plus it costs me money to get my hair done, makeup, dress, and shoes and gas money to drive to the location to meet the man. If I was asked to pay, that will be a turn off for me. I should have just stayed home and ordered take out food.
Women always have lower average salary than men, less chance for job than men, and have to pay things like cosmetic, clothes more than men. So she doesn't need to pay. And if it's the guy who invites her to go date, he should pay, she already spend her time, and energy to meet you.
Paying for date is a part of chasing and masculine. Only cheap men don't. Real men, gentlemen love chasing. Real men feel it's his pleasure to pay for the lady he like. Her gratitude, her time, her feminine are all a real men need. Paying for date is no problem to a real men. Providing for women is masculine.
@@adw6894 Nobody owes you anything love. It's fine wanting to be courted and paid for, but there is a difference between wanting and feeling entitled to something. Nobody owes you anything and that's the point you clearly cannot fathom. You want husband energy while you're not even committed to each other. You do not know each other and yet you feel entitled to his resources. "It costs me money to get my har done, nails, makeup bla bla bla bla". Yeah, it costs us money to get gym memberships. It costs us money to buy watches, accessories, going to the barber every 3 weeks. It also costs us money to buy proper food to maintain our muscle mass. It costs us money to buy clothes as well. It costs us money to pay the bills, the gas and it costs us our health and potentially our life to work in dangerous jobs. The reality is, you're doing it our of free will while nobody forced you to go buy a new dress every week or spend so much money on makeup. Chivalry is only meant for true ladies who know their own place as well as that of a man, and don't overvalue themselves just because they are women. You do not fit that criteria. Your arguments are absolutely WEAK
what you did is real woman shit right there, dont worry about what your mom said, youre going to catch yourself a real good dude acting like that kittykatkate. i will tell you right now it will show any real man that you respect him and that youre actually interested in him as a person and not just in it for free crap.
rebecca Some men still like the idea of chivalry. It doesn't have to be backwards thinking, if you're a guy with a secure job, and you ask a woman out on a date, you might be inclined to pay for it simply because that's what was considered the gentlemanly thing to do for so long.
Vonnies World 29%? That seems much lower than I would expect. Still you bring up a great point. That some women will not go on a second date if they are required to pay - even Dutch - on the first few dates. So I suspect many men pay out of fear that they are being tested. Some women actually admit that on a date they use the bill to test men. The "test" being that if he pays, that means he'll be a good provider. Which is absolute horseshit. I could panhandle for one day and earn enough to buy a woman dinner. That doesn't mean I can provide at all. The worst part is that feminists can take advantage of this on dates and still demand gender equality the following morning. Nothing had changed for men. We are still expected to provide, even if women earn enough to comfortably support two people. I wonder if anti-science feminists will ever consider the possibility that perhaps men and women really are different, and that there is no patriarchy.
Also some men don't like the idea of their women paying...they think the women aren't allowing the men to be the "men"!!!! It doesn't matter if that woman is a doctor or a business owner...some men express their manhood by paying the money.......
The “man always pays” mantra had nothing to do with being a gentleman. It was the case solely because women never used to have money of their own to spend. That’s not the case now. The fact that this idea has prevailed for so long shows exactly the kind of hypocrisy we have towards gender norms.
I swear I am a women and I was SHOCKED about the initial question of "after 4-5 months dating, when is the time to share the bills" 😳 Like wtf there is women that don't pay shit while dating for MONTHS?! I swear I am in disbelief! I always think if someone asks you out, yes they are supposed to pay cause they INVITED you. That is also how I handle it when I date other women. But if you go to the next date it's supposed to be your turn. Still I do always get my wallet in case my date does expect me to pay my share at the first date. I will take it as his lack of interest actually to actually invest I'm honest, but I really don't want to make a guy feel like they must pay if they really are not happy to do so. If I am in a long lasting relationship I also always handled money as he said - the person who earns more can contribute more. That being said in my previous two relationship I always earned (and payed) more. Now I am in my first relationship where my partner has a higher income - and we started as best friends for half a year (dating other people before dating each other) so money has never even been a topic to talk about. No wonder these women are single lol
When I started dating my husband, I took him to get Starbucks during the beginning of our second date. He told me that was the first time a woman had ever bought him something, and that’s really sad. He did pay for most of the dates because I could barely cover bills, but I did try to buy the popcorn at the movies or dessert at the restaurant when I could. Fifteen years married now!
That's so fucking sweet. Love it. And also, woah 15 years, that's great guys! P.S.: Tell your husband this random internet stranger sends him a virtual hi-five
My wife paid for drinks before dinner on our first date. When I came back from the bathroom she had taken care of our tab. I was blown away. It was simple gesture, but I never forgot it.
it will only make males like you MORE BETA though.. have a mindset of a provider not a cheapskate.. and date with marriage in mind not a temporary pleasure - think long term investment
I'm watching this after the 4th date with a girl who never offered to pay for anything during the course of our dates. In fact, she often asked to have more than what I had planned and only said "thank you" on the first date. Needless to say, there will not be a 5th date.
SWIFTzTrigger Well I usually initiate by saying "Can I get you Lunch/Dinner sometime?" Or along those lines. By the third date though she should be interested enough to care/try like the speaker states.
Nathan Hromanik Why does it have to be lunch or dinner? for a first date go for a walk in the park, maybe even a picnic, say "bring some stuff you like and i'll bring mine" and try out each others food. Go to a place you haven't been before with her, maybe a new museum or something. Its always lunch or dinner for some reason. Even a coffee is good. Its a first date, make it fun for yourself and take some pressure off the conversation too. Thats what I'd do.
+SWIFTzTrigger I couldn't agree more with you, and you know what? There's nothing worse than being stuck in a restaurant with someone you're not getting on with. I feel like the first date should just be super casual with no pressure on either party.
I dated this girl that never paid for anything. Went out to eat and when the bill comes she would sit there and not reach for the tab no matter how long it would take. It's not that I'm cheap, heck the reason why we even go out is only if I would pay, it's the gesture that counts. I lost all my emotions for her when she offered another guy friend to come with us saying, "Oh don't worry, Leng will pay for it." I remember us always fighting about this subject and she just never understood it. Simply what this guy says, I just felt used. I just felt that I had to use money to get her affection(?).
Oh really, you needed that final slap in the face of the guy joining to realize what you were doing is wrong? I guess it is hard for guys who really want a girl. Hard to turn them down for something like this, but you absolutely have to, to get the life you deserve. In my case all my girlfriends have always been offering/contributing the same as me, so I can only imagine what it's like, but I know I would drop them no matter how attracted I am to them.
I never understand why men and women have to complicate the first date with money issues. Go for a walk or a coffee; something that costs very little. You don't even know if you like each other at this point so why not simplify the date so there is less pressure? If you are asked out on a dinner date though, always offer to pay something as Matthew says. Ladies we fought for equal rights so we need to practice what we preach. It's a matter of respecting yourself and the man you might have a future with down the road. It's not "a right" to have the man pay for you, it is a very generous treat from someone you really don't know that well. Great video Matthew! I swear we are related somewhere down the English family tree!
Did you NOT read the title of the video? In the first minute of the video Matthew asks "when you are on a date who should pay?" Which indicates a new situation with someone. He also talked about many other scenarios but I was addressing the early stages of dating and the question in the title.
Dear Sybersue 1st date is easy, it's the first time and only happens once, as a guy I always pay....the real issue is the one in the audience member's question that the video is all about...she has been dating the guy 4-5 months and she wants to know who should pay
fcastle Yes but notice that after she asked the question, Matt sort of switched the subject to who should pay in general? He did that to prove a point about the woman's own mindset going into the whole thing.
that's not true tho, the women who asked the question most likely isn't a feminist. Any feminist in their right mind would believe that both genders should pay on a date because that is equality
@@visp3913 I mean the idea that any relationship is 100% is fictional and utopian to begin with. The evolutionary trade is resources/protection for fertility. Women are the bottleneck in fertility for mammals and as such. Women rate women's attractiveness acurately, women rate 80% of men below average. In other words: they're historically and biologically more interested in the top 20% of men and are maybe willing to share him if need be. And if the guy is one of this top 20%, they're more willing to pay for the privelege (much like they're willing to pay Matthew Hussey, an exceptionally handsome man, for the ambition to getting a guy like him).
My personal rule is that first date if you don't offer then I can let it slide. If there's a second date and you still don't offer then that is game over, see you never.
Dontmake Meusemyname if your son was lucky enough to find a girl to go out with him twice, yet he didn't even offer to help pay, then she's the one who dodged the bullet. If he doesn't even offer, then he's selfish, inconsiderate, and self-centered.
Men who know who they are always stand up for themselves. What you are saying is that men need to concede that the woman is always right. Fuck that. Man up..dont be a douche about it but put these women in their places.
Years ago, dating a woman when we were both in the service, we organized a trip to bora bora (this was her vacation time during a tour of duty). The biggest reason I was all in was because she said all I had to do was pay for my own way to get there and then it was my responsibility to take care of the food and drink. She took care of all the accommodations. It felt like such a partnership. Best vacation ever!
Wow This is the most heated and intense I've seen Matthew get about a question. The woman that asked that question definitely did not get the entitled egotistical answer her prissy princess ass on a pedestal was expecting. She probably went home and told all her friends eh Matthew Hussey is overrated, his answers are stupid! After getting completely demolished by a solid answer by Matthew.
boganus699 He's not entirely wrong about that one. There's all kinds of double standards in heterosexual relationships, it's not the end of the world. I don't think most guys actually MIND paying for a first date, if we had a good time and the woman was respectful and appreciative of that. We just mind it when the woman acts entitled.
Pavel : Generally, most men don’t mind paying for the first date. I said FIRST DATE! What happens afterwards is different for each guy. Some men don’t mind paying for 7 more dates. Some won’t allow that. If a girl expects me to pay the next one and the one after, then that speaks for itself.
Lin Bin Of course, that's why I specified first date in my comment. The woman in the video who expected $$$ after months of dating is not somebody I would ever be with.
I am getting sick of being told how a guy should treat a women. Oh a guy should do this, a guy should do that, should never do this, should never do that. Have we ever speak about how a lady should treat a guy? We never have a nation wide conversation about how a lady should treat their men right, because whenever we have that conversation, its sexist. This is such a double standard. Women should be treated equally with men and nothing less or more than that.
fix Bro, time ago gentleman existed because "ladies"(well-mannered females) existed. At this time there is no such thing as a ladylike behaviour so I don't see why we should still acts as gentleman
A girl I was dating with for 2 months never at once offered to pay when we were going out. Granted she was earning minimum wage, but the gesture would have mattered mattered so much. We went out for about 2 months till eventually she ended things. I eventually met up with another girl I haven’t seen for 9 months at a mutual friends gathering. I’m gonna marry this girl in 2 months. My fiancée has always offered to pay and is very respectful towards both our time. Being appreciative and respectful goes a long way!
Yup, it was never about money, it's about the principle of putting in effort. If the first girl that you had dated for 2 months, said to you "Can you pick up these items, I want to cook for you" you would have no problem.
Well good luck being taken advantage of. I honestly don't feel sorry for guys like you when women take advantage of you because of your narrow traditional way of thinking. You'll learn the hard way my friend.
@@nimalperera948 I can sniff out the genuine from the ingenuine before I even reached for my wallet. One thing I do is not take women out on dinner dates. The only time I pay full is whenever we are doing fun, but cheap activities. I only got taken advantage of once in my life which was years ago and I happened to learn from it right away. Since then, never again. I don't mind being traditional to a woman who is traditional aswel. I'll never invest more than the other person materialistically or emotionally. So don't worry about me.
@@MrLoowiz You have every reason to have isues paying considering how entitled and selfish women and shallow modern dating have become. That's why I am extremely picky with who I take on a date and if I happen to take them on a date, I'd go and so a fun activity with them which is very cheap. No fancy dinners or anything that requires $$$. That's a mistake I've only made once in my life and never again. If I pay, I'm paying for my actual girlfriend and not some stranger.
@@andnowyouknow3363 Fortunately I've never done that mistake, but I've learned from others. Yeah, don't give women free stuff just because they're women. Spoiling women is the reason we have toxic feminism.
Women want to pick and choose their equality. They want equal pay, which they already have, but they want to be treated like princesses when they go out. You are expected to respect them as an equal but treat them like they are special but they refuse to do the same. Men have to initiate everything. Men have to pick them up. Men have to pay. Men have to cater to them. I put up with that crap constantly and it's a big reason why I haven't dated for a long time. I'm not going to put up with doing all the work. If a woman is interested in me, then she needs to put in some effort as well. Here's a simple test. Don't text or call the woman you are talking to, or even dating, and see if she initiates a conversation. In my experience, the majority won't but they get mad you haven't talked to them for a while.
This is why I left my ex of 5 years. I moved out for a "few months" for work reasons, 3 weeks into the first month I sent her a text saying I was done waiting for her attention
i'm looking at this room full of women and about 80% look like they're in their mid to late 30's who don't even look that attractive yet they expect the guy to have to "work for it"
For my point of view a relationship /marriage is like a team work. Both should contribute and make the relationship flower. Also equality comes to raising your kids, feed them, bathe them, get them to school and of course household chores. We are a team ! ☺️ Personally I find it very generous someone paying for my coffee or beer on the first date even if I am always willing to pay my half . Of course I pay back next time or prepare dinner.
keep this mindset no matter how much the world tries to kick it out of you and youll land a good partner someday. men find this attitude extremely refreshing and attractive.
GlennCocoGuitar its true, happened to me a couple of times, now i tell every potential date im only paying for myself, so then i know if they still want to go to dinner with me, its not for a free meal
I've heard people suggest just meeting for coffee on the first date, if they're serious about starting a relationship and aren't just in it for free food then they will meet you.
one meal isnt expensive, having to go out with 5 different girls because they don't want a date(no 2nd date with them) but a free meal can add up to be very expensive
Matthew was spot on with the sex argument. These women have all these requirements and demands on the man to behave in stereotypical ways (pay for dinner, provide for her, chivalry, etc.) But I guarantee you any hint of a suggestion that they should fill stereotypical roles for a housewife (constant sex, doing chores around the house, having dinner ready for him, etc.) they would freak out.
The most gentleman-like thing you can do at a first dinner, is when you get the check you say "are we splitting this or am I splitting those" while pointing at her legs
Then what does a man owe a woman when she pushes out his babies? Million dollar home? I mean if we are gonna be equal here and go tit for tat..then what then? if I am breaking my vagina to bare your seed what do I get then? oh wait nothing. 80% of single headed households are women most of whom cant even get child support lol. Some equality we got there.
For all of you who are saying "the guy should pay if he asked you out", don't agree to go on a date with the guy who you're unwilling to split the bill with.
Dubya W I always say it while texting that we gone split all men need to start getting some balls and say it upfront instead to wait till the last minute if they know how this hoes think
Oh K "You're showing her why you'd be a suitable partner"?!? How about her showing the guy why she would be a suitable partner? Or are you suggesting she is by default based on looks and don't need a personality?
Rollie55 if a woman asks a guy out she should pay, which is why, a woman should NEVER ask a guy out. The only thing that she could do is tell the guy that she likes him, incase he could be shy, but that's it.
the fact that women do not get this basic stuff is extremely sad. enormous amount of what women think they know about guys is fairytale. My wife get's it. her best friend who uses guys as ATM's is still single and crying, but she still has no clue.
actually there reason that golddiggers exist is because there are men who are willin to pay for their "affection", "love", "company" or "sex". I f there were not such guys, golddigers would have no purpose to exist. Its that simple. Of course my opinion is that women should pay also (50/50 or 60/40 or something like that according to one`s financial situation) but i cannot blame women who are trying to take advantage of these men. It a fair transaction in which the female says "my time costs so much" and the male responds "ok i accept it". Everything clear.
I'm not from the states and here there isn't this double standard of who is going to pay... It is normal to split the bill or for the woman or the man to pay for both, it does'nt have anything to do with gender here. I once went on a date with an american guy and I felt really uncomfortable because he wanted to pay for eveything...
@@lilyderoux7080 I went in a Tom Horton last week with a guy and he asked me if I wanted something. I wanted something, but I said I didn't want anything, cause I didn't want him to pay for me. I would have paid for myself but I thought that might be rude since it would be like I'm rejecting him. So maybe he thought I was on a diet haha... but I don't think I will talk to him again anyway cause I'm leaving. That wasn't really a date but hey.. I guess he wanted to invest money in me haha I would just split the bill it's so dumb to expect someone else to pay. Don't be with a women that complains if you tell her you want to split the bill
On my first date with my girlfriend, we went out for drinks and she said she wanted to go 50/50 pretty early on in the evening. When the bill came, she was in the bathroom, so I just paid it (I didn't really mind). When she came out, she wanted to pay her share, but I'd had a few drinks and just said it didn't matter. On the way back, I was checking my pockets for my cards and found that she had guessed the amount and put her half in my pocket! (she actually overpaid her half lol) That was 5 years ago and we are still going strong!
The lack of trying is exactly why I broke up with my ex. She had troubles, but didn’t make an effort to try. It’s okay that things fail out, but failing to try is the worst. Matthew hits it right on the nail
Wow, I'm shocked by the attitude of these women. Why is this even a question that needs to be asked!? And how do they even get a guy to go out with them, let alone date them? Good job, Matthew, for holding up the mirror to point out their double standards.
I can answer the questions about how do the even get a date, based on my own past experience. Some guys see a decently pretty girl with a halfway decent personality, or what we think is a decent personality and they ask her out. The girl will say okay to a first date and then if he asks will say yes to a second date just to get another free meal unfortunately. I was at one time under the impression that things were going great after a couple of dates with a female friend (I say female friend because we never got to the bf/gf phase) and after the third date, I was sitting next to one of her friends at an event she wasn't at and I saw a text about me that said she was uncomfortable around me. Not uncomfortable enough to allow me to take her on a second date and third date though and get more free meals out of me. Needless to say I didn't bother asking her on a fourth date after I saw that text I wasn't meant to see.
I used to go out with this girl for several months, it was the first time I kinda dated someone, the first time we grabbed coffee or lunch or whatever it was, I offered to pay and she immediately asked me if I was sure and wouldn't rather just split the bill. I disagreed and told her that my dad who passed away taught me to be a perfect gent to a lady as long as she didn't EXPECT me to. I told her I wanted to do right by his name and pay for the first date but appreciated the offer. Then told her she could use that money to ask me out for coffee the next time and it'd be her treat. Over the months we saw each other regularly, and from the start on we took turns with the bill, if she was tight on cash I'd take another turn and vice versa. It never worked out between us but we still hang out as close friends and we still take turns with the bill, maybe I've paid for more dinners/lunches, or maybe she has, neither of us knows, neither of us cares, it's just money, it's the mutual gesture that matters :)
At least you learnt from your mistake. Don't ever offer to pay fully to a woman. That's like an invitation to make her take advantage of you in the future
My mom always taught me something: If you allow him pay for your stuff, also allow him to do whatever he wants with you. Everything has a price and if you want a real gentleman who will respect you for who you are, be independent and pay for your own stuff.
In a perfect world maybe, but the reality is not everyone have the maturity to think that, and like Matthew says not everyone have the same economic equality. It's easy to feel use when you make a gesture for politeness or to be a gentleman and the other person get use to it real quick and begin to abuse of it. It happen to me twice with to different women, and keep me wonder if they see me like a wallet or they think i'm their father? and yes is not just about the money in my instance is time. Doing a lot of things for a smile? you get my thinking you meet the perfect girl in first dates... because if i go out and pay for food, tickets, etc for every girl i think is the one until know her better and if not, continue to do it... is a black hole in the economy for everyone. In my opinion is a bad teaching that come from the parents, a hear story from a friend about a man that work and do a lot of things for a woman, she has the same thinking "i'm a woman i don't pay" and even her parents though that if he works he has to pay her things and if she works is her money and she spend it in clothes and the needs of her own. Of course life is not perfect and when he run out of money for personal issues, she change him for another one with more money and their parents agree with her. What i'm trying to say is, so much power corrupt the people beacuse we begin to see each other like objects when a equality isn't the room anymore. And yeah, we guys can fall in that too, if she see me like a cash machine, i begin to see her like an object too, like a doll, if she gets old i change her for another beatiful model more young and fresh. Domino effect.
@@chaotikkiller1617 I wouldn't put it the way her mother did but I think the guy in the video puts it in a better way ....If u expect something from him why is it wrong of him to expect something from u? If u're implying he is only worth what is wallet can afford to pay for u than why cant he deem u only valuable if u're willing to put out? Same standards. If a guy pays, the girls owes him nothing, that's reality. But also, who wants a women that only wants and gets and takes, takes, takes and doesn't give in anyway and feels entitled to behave like that? Some women don't even feel like they owe the guy some decent company and stay on their phones during a date or expect him to make all the conversation. Stop being a white knight
Biologically speaking and from a purely logical perspective, women's reproductive systems are a more valuable resource, and not only because of menopause. One man can impregnate potentially hundreds of women; however, one woman can obviously only get pregnant about every nine months, delivering typically just one baby. Why this matters from an evolutionary perspective: If half (or even 90%) of the male warriors and hunters of an Amazon tribe are killed in a battle, but they protect the women, then the next generation will still be about the same size, because each woman counts. HOWEVER, most of us aren't living in caves or primitive villages anymore. Protecting women above all else (not saying they don't deserve protection) is no longer a matter of survival. There are billions of us, and it's no longer necessary for society to revolve around women's reproductive systems. So while you're correct in one sense, it's not an excuse to treat men as second-class citizens and unequal partners. Equality should mean equality, not equality with special exceptions.
My wife was the only woman I ever dated that I actually ever saw a future with, and that view happened the day I saw her try for me. The gesture/act in itself was small, and in her eyes, she probably didn't think nothing of it; but it was the first time in years that someone put me first/tried to do something for me.
if two lesbians are on a date nobody has to pay
Keep that to yourself, otherwise the economy will be ruined
ahahaha!
Does that mean gay men are charged double?
tripJJ lmao
Alexander DaGreat lmao
The moment when he asked who should pay and the crowd answered "MAN!", it became painfully obvious why they found themselves at that point in their lives when they have to go to public speeches about how to get a man.
lol
harsh but true
I think most of the women in the room have a higher self image than they should.
Damn that was BRUTAL!!!!! and funny yet so true lol
You nailed it.
Prince Harry takes Meaghan on a date. Who pays?
The taxpayers.
Oh wow, that took the breath right out my lungs!
But isn't tax slightly cheaper due to the royal families land? So if the taxpayers are paying for the meal, the royal families own land is supplying a small portion of it. So in a way he is paying...
Well he pretty much earned it, looking at how much money they bring to England in tourism alone.
@@paolotabone8143 Wrong comment (?)
@@yoavmor9002 oops meant it to have been just a public comment
My ex always insisted I pay for the food, even if she got the most expensive items on the menu. When I told her “ I’m not an ATM machine I can’t just keep paying for your food on every date we go on” she got mad and said “ if you’re poor just say that”
I’m married now. And it’s not to her.
good ups man, hope your ex is some ragdoll
my coworker has a lady that makes him buy everything and pay for all the fancy dinner dates and I just shake my head. I probably would end things quickly if I were in that situation. There needs to be respect for the person not the wallet.
hahaha nice one mate. i guess she is either single or did indeed find an ATM machine to marry. but typically... those treat their women as property. guess she deserves it then :))
@@ragael1024 exactly if they wanna bring nothing to the relationship except sex that’s what they’ll be seen as. Personally not speaking for all men but a partner who contributes and carries the bills and struggles with me is better than someone who just lays on there stomach once a day. Sitting at home eating all my food watching tv etc
Men are cheap nowadays, especially the military ones.
The woman that asked this question is triggering me so hard.
same
sO ITS NOT JUST ME THEN
Ikr
When everybody said the man should pay that triggered me.. who the fuck do they think they r DEMANDING my money?
True, totally got lost in the question.. :D
Just to make a point, the whole room wants guys to pay. The whole room is also made up of women who haven't found love. Do the math.
1+1 = math is sexist
LOL see hookers make life simple, you pay you get laid. These bitches can't even figure that shit out
When he said about the double standard there I was thinking "man, that is some tricky kind of prostitution"
Preach 🙌🏾💯
My niggah
"Who should pay on the first date?"
"THE MAN!"
...and that's why you have to go to a fucking conference to get tips on getting into a relationship
He made some good points.
lol. that's truth
shouldn't be whoever asked the other out?!
I'd feel bad if my date felt it was her duty to pay for it just because it was her idea and despite I thought it was a good idea and I'm having fun. And I think this feeling is right.
If this feeling is right, then it should work the same the other way around.
I suppose it's okay to play it by paying for dates in turns, and maybe for the first one, whoever invited the other is in charge. But that only works if apparently there will be a next one.
I almost choked to death hahhaa I always offer.
Spot. On. When my girlfriend INSISTED that she pay her share on our first date, it made me feel so much more attracted to her because it showed me she really cared and valued her time with me. It says something that this crowd is a bunch of women in their 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s and this is the mindset they have. It doesn’t take long to make you wonder why they’re still single. Guys aren’t complicated, you don’t need to go to a seminar to figure us out
Well we know what kind of women go to these seminars lol
Well said! It boggles my mind how they have trouble. Susan Venker on her vid 6 Things Women Need to Know About Men, pretty much sums it up.
@@jayrollo1352 these types that have been ran trough like a track lol
@@crisalcantara7671 The town bicycles 😂
@@crisalcantara7671 Nah, run through like an interstate
“If you dont offer to pay your share, you weren’t taught right” *Silence*
“If he doesnt offer to pay, he wasn’t taught right”
*YEAH!*
Really ladies?
Then a hush falls over the room when he goes on the second part of his explanation. You hear the horrified silence from every women thinking about those “assholes” that they chased away based in this single conversation.
Something tells me they weren't even listening to the first part.
zadose what a shallow and petty way to judge people. Your character leaves something to be desired. I get the impression that you don’t do well at being part of a team. You’re too busy being a victim of “the patriarchy” to contribute.
zadose I am the only paycheck that comes into my marriage. I do not expect my wife to pay for shit. I never have. But ... If you have a job (because you may be single and need to pay your own bills), you should show that you are willing to be a team from the word go. This means offering to contribute. It does not make a man a beta to need a gesture in good faith. And he will still pay. It shows that you are serious, and will pull your weight in the relationship. And a beta will fold on every issue. My wife doesn’t have a job, but you can bet that taking care of our home is her job. She will contribute. It is not negotiable.
To say that a man should pay and not expect the offer of contribution to earn his respect in order to be an “Alpha”, is to demand that he behave like a beta to keep your interest. Of course he should pay, and he should demand the same respect on a date that you would show your best friend. If he is willing to let the first date be a one sided transaction, that sets an example for the rest of the relationship. That he will roll over and be your beta male. And you can call him your alpha because he barks at your beck and call, but it is a delusion. Leaders work alongside their team giving guidance and direction. A boss tells others what to do whilst sitting behind a desk.
He sounded ridiculous and childish
This man is doing God's work. 🙏
meh
Nice Guy which god is that there are over 100
Bob Dillion more like thousands lol
i want to give you a like, but if i do i'll break the 666 that you have :c
Nice Guy yeah because God’s job is to establish who pays what on a date
I always offer to pay 50%. If the other person pays 100% I always make sure next time I pay 100%
Simple as that.
I think it's best to always do an even split because it's stressful to have to keep that information stored and always even.
In your example a meal that one person pays for could be 100$,while the other one could be 50$.
So at the end of the day one person would always pay more.
You were properly taught
I see your point but I disagree with a 50% split. Paying for what you got is what I think is proper
As someone that orders based on price because I always gotta be careful, I’m not gonna cover the other person who didn’t care.
I see how it’s simple but so many people don’t seem to care enough about price to me so I just don’t work that way haha
Great comment! @Sasaki
@@roxysparks5003 good point.
That is even better.
I guess now that I see it more carefully 50/50 was probably invented by women.
Most women earn less than a man cuz of their choices and so they have less to spend however they still want the pricey food and so 50/50 works in their favor.
@@blackdragonstory1122 that's not how it works: since the woman is paid less from your reasoning, paying half is more demanding on her paycheck than it is for the man that earns more
1:38
"If you go on a date with a guy and you don't offer to pay your share, you weren't taught right."
*Absolute dead silence and everyone stares with a blank face*
"If you go on a date and he doesn't pay, he wasn't taught right."
*Everyone immediately smiles, giggles, and agrees*
That paints the room right there.
@@laurag8126at a wedding, you invite people you love and care about
a first date is to explore, dip your toes in different oceans
so no, if you want some old-school from men's side, go old-school from womens side
miss double standard
@@laurag8126your reply doesn't give any reason why a man should pay. Your excuse is that you kiss and therefore a man should pay? lmao😂. Sounds like bs to me.
@@laurag8126 You know well and true with that logic, it's the same as saying "men should pay" coz men initiate majority if not all the time.
So no, in the case of dating, it isn't really anything like a normal invite to a party or a wedding. You have every right to say no if you're not interested in the other person. If you say yes, you should offer to pay, unless it's a very fancy place you can't afford to pay. It is a mutual effort to make a relationship work. Neither person's time is more valuable than the other. If you plan on putting no effort in contributing and expect the man prove to you his worth by making him pay for your time, you're just entitled.
@@laurag8126that's not what your reply said at all. And if that's what you were trying to say then stop writing a whole ass essay nobody wants to read
@@laurag8126 so you women are too scared to ask out men and this is somehow men's fault? wtf? Just say a out loud you're a gold digger. It's socially acceptable for you to say anyway. No shame in that.
"My time is worth more than yours so you should pay for it. I wonder what paradigm that sets up?" Hit the nail right on the fuckin head
paradigm*
did you think he said "pair of dimes"? smh
I also think he should have made a point like. a women should be independent enough to offer to pay for both meals not just her share. I mean it's also about being equals and it's strange that it was expected from men to pay till now and now women ought to be treated equally but aren't judged like the men...
Actually that's correct which is why he's charging these women $3,000 per seat. He's telling these "old hags" that his attractive ass is worth that time as they're the ones that got suckered in by his ads.
It's the same thing with women. If you saw a woman that didnt even notice you exist and you're the one asking her out to dinner then of course you should pay.
He's talking to women that can't get men at all and of course they're trying to wooo men so apparently they have to pay.
I think he is more referring to the expectation that men HAVE to pay all the time regardless of what point they are at in the relationship. Yeah sure if you ask them out then you should pay but at a certain point you start working together as a team, like he said if you went out with a friend you wouldn't then put the expectation on them that they should have to pay for you every time just because they invited you. Besides the woman offering to pay is a sign of respect and just good manners in general and most guys appreciate the gesture.
Is she actually serious about the man paying for 4-5 months in every single date?
I never met a woman who didn't offer to pay something after the second date
She's a freeloader
I've never met a woman who didn't put out for so long
She's older. Young women have a more independent mind set.
Also, she may not make much money.
She's colored. They love exploiting other people.
tokega *sigh*
The "trying means something to a guy" is so accurate if a girl tells me and makes me feel like she wants to help me and contribute and is not using me for my money/attention I will 100% be more inclined to pay everything for her
Why?
@@ceciliacarcamo7827 really, Derek? Are you serious? I just told you that a moment ago.
@@ceciliacarcamo7827 Why are you with a guy? So you can get free stuff? Or, because he's important to you?
If a man likes me and he is trying to court and impress me, he should be masculine enough to pay. I am contributing with my time and attention and possibly a future with the man. And plus it costs me money to get my hair done, makeup, dress, and shoes and gas money to drive to the location to meet the man. If I was asked to pay, that will be a turn off for me. I should have just stayed home and ordered take out food.
Paying for date is a part of chasing and masculine. Only cheap men don't. Real men, gentlemen love chasing. Real men feel it's his pleasure to pay for the lady he like. Her gratitude, her time, her feminine are all a real men need. Paying for date is no problem to a real men.
Women
"We want equality"
Next minute
"You need to pay for my food"
ikr
😂😂😂
you act like all women want equality
@@TA12002 All women SAY they want equality, every single one of them, that is beyond any shadow of a doubt. However, they are betrayed by their behaviour.
The only reason women say they want equality is because they feel under pressure to say so in public. In private, their behaviour is observably different. Most men these days know what hypergamy is and have seen it in action during their daily life.
Women are moral cowards, unfortunately, and cannot be trusted to articulate their actual moral position. In some ways, this is not their fault, they're compelled to lie by feminist-imposed social norms and the media who constantly push this narrative of equality and if you disagree with this narrative then you’re smeared as a bad person.
@@regencyrow1867 shit, you hit it right on the head. Very articulate and true💯💯
Wow, an entire room full of adult women had to be told to actually contribute to a relationship. Just wow..........
@@bikotheanimator6169 I was pointing it out for the normies ; )
it's fkin amazing to me that this really that this has to be taught
@@bikotheanimator6169 Selfish and brainwashed.
These are the ones seeking help and they still wont listen to what hes saying. It's like they go just to be told it's not their fault but, it is their fault lol.
True
And on that day, not a single woman changed her behaviour
Hey,,. you got 241 likes for this comment but to reply???😂
Alfred Atly Let's give this guy replies
That was never my behaviour in the first place. These women are nuts 😱
@zadose She should take care of herself, not of the man, and pay for her own meal.
@zadose Your logic is so biased and flawed. If you have a partner, I can promise they resent parts of your character.
“Treat your partner like your best friend.”
The room falls silent with every seat filled by a single person. Each one thinking about all the potential relationships that were ruined by this single point of contention.
Funny thing is, who they wanna fuck and who they should be with are often not the same guy.
@zadose It's not about treating them exactly like your gal friends. It's about the mutual respect and common courtesy that you hold for said best friend (even if it was a "gal friend"). Whether it's respecting your best friend or respecting the friendship, it's all about that level of respect.
You wouldn't flat out disrespect your gal friends by assuming that they'll cover you EVERY time you guys go out clubbing/drinking/shopping, so why assume it of someone you're supposedly romantically interested in?
@zadose women want a life partner but none of the team work. You are a materialistic leech vast majority of women are no wonder women initiate over 70% of all divorces ya only marry for financial convenience
Well spoken, sir
@zadose it's about mutual respect
I'm a woman and 100% agree with this guy. I can't believe there are so many women out there that believe a guy should pay for everything
That's the default nowadays, if I meet a girl that doesn't feel entitled to my time attention and money, I look around for cameras.
That’s how women are socialised. Total lack of empathy for men and nly ever evaluating them in terms of theur utility.
wow.. no comments from the lonely adw6894 saying men should pay because of blablabla
Agree sorensrk. Completely.
One thing he didn't mention here is that even on a first date, I always want the woman to offer and say 'how much for this or how much do I owe you?' and 100%, I and any guy worth their salt will say no, no, no, I've got this. It's nice to have the offer, even if a guy pays most of the time. The offer from the woman is what is nice and basic manners. Or she can say I'll get the next one even if she doesn't. Like he did say though, if a girl doesn't offer, it's a lack of basic social skills and shows that she is entitled and a selfish type of person. It's the thought that counts
I always offer to split the bill or pay for my own drink. If the guy really wants to cover it, I thank him and move on. Appreciate the gesture, but don't expect it every time. Men are people with their own financial successes and struggles too, not just unlimited ATM machines.
I respect Matthew even more for pointing out this double-standard.
@@notanotherseahorse8369 It is a wonderful feeling being treated every now and then because it's a thoughtful gesture. I enjoy it a lot! I just don't expect it every time. There's a key difference. Also, how much money a person makes has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity. $100 per date can be a lot for some people, especially depending on how often dates occur. It adds up! I'm in my early twenties, and the last thing I want to do is put financial pressure on someone else who may already be dealing with rent, school loans, medical bills, etc. Respecting a person's financial needs doesn't hurt anyone, and "playing the cool girl" as you stated it, has always gotten me further in developing meaningful romantic and platonic relationships than "being treated like lady" 24/7.
@@thejessifar4619 Yups, being treated means more when I know it's genuine, not out of obligation or a ploy. It makes it more special to when it's a treat, as something you don't have all that often. I also agree with going conservative & casual for a first date in terms of money spent, such as bike ride down a trail and an ice cream cone. Now, I realize some may argue that that's too cheap or it's like dating a friend. Not necessarily. Friends may pay for each other's dinner on occasion, as a way to show they care. There's also a need for caution because a first date can be used a test to see what it's like to date this person, at least firsthand if you've known the person for a while. There's also the chance of changed minds, ghosting, and using. So, if things go sour, there wasn't much invested. Thus, no need to feel obligated to compensate the other person or feel guilty about how much you spent on a waste of a date. However, by going on a casual date, I wouldn't want my date to think I'm not interested or like him as a friend. That's why I'd kiss him on the cheek on the first date, if he allows.
😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ 👏👏👏
That's how it should be
you are the mvp of the comments section miss!
As a woman it was really embarassing for me when they all went 'THE MAN HAS TO PAY!" How did he manage to reply in a calm and polite way is admirable.. Even though he did snap a bit when he said "Ok, if he has to pay then you have to have sex with him!". Lol, totally right.
laboomerang I thank you for agreeing with him. As a 19 year old guy, I’ve been berated by other “feminists” because I’m a male. They say all men rape or lie or beat women. I was raised not to, and I hate hurting people. I will always stick to that. And I wanna thank you for not being like those people. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼
Me, we take turn to pay. Also if I was the one who ask him then I'll be the one who pay.
I would've walked off
laboomerang unfortunately a lot (most) of women are like that, including my sister!
Guillermo Calderon I think is a cultural thing.In Europe,everyone pay for their things(or take turns to invite The other person)but a lot of Girls from US or Latin america have this weird mindset of "The Guy has to pay".
ahhh equality. its a beautiful thing
Flash Guard not equality it’s justice
GeraLOK justice is based on equality
Jock Puddy It doesn't matter, it's about women wanting to be independent and equal. Even if one makes more money than the other, if one of them didn't have a good time, neither of them should be expected to pay the full bill, rather go dutch on it.
Lol Jock Puddy that only makes sense in the context of paying workers, and taxing people; not in the context of dates. XD
This was amazing. The room went QUIET when he said “ the moment you say to a guy you have to pay for my time, you’re saying this relationship isn’t equal” 👌
Ouch, like a slap in the face. "Guys don't just shit money, WTF?"
they dont care.. they were quiet because they didnt have a rebuttal and since they were paying.. they wouldnt call him mysoginistic..
but they probably still thought the men should pay because it is a man's duty or whatever
i thought Women want equality ...
Replace the ending of every sentence a woman says with, "when it is convenient for me".
"I'm a feminist (when it is convenient for me)."
"I believe in equality (when it is convenient for me)."
"I'm a strong, independent woman (when it is convenient for me)."
"I'm old fashioned (when it is convenient for me)."
And most important of all:
"I'm on the pill (when it is convenient for me)."
@@carultch fax lad.
Motivação Para Todos -- Yes that’s why you should date the hardcore feminists. They do not mind paying. Oh and don’t approach beautiful women. They will ghost you if you ask to split the bill. It’s very simple ☕️
@@candykane5442 Lol. You think men who have self-respect would mind if women ghost them. Women who see themselves at a higher level to demand money from men for their time is a huge turn off.
Women who don't pay for their share don't deserve self-respecting and confident men. They'll probably get simps.
They do. Unfortunately there os a group of women who don't but use equality as an excuse. Those women don't want equality, they want revenge.
His advice falls on deaf ears.
Troy Baker yep
Troy Baker nope
Troy Baker damn
No, I think they're listening. After all, this did stem from one of their questions.
Exactly xd
Holy shit, 4 or 5 months of the guy paying every time? Are these women insane? Is this real life?
Nah, not insane. They're just spoiled little princesses that think the world circles around them to catter for their needs and desires.
Unfortunately.
Check your privilege.
As insane as the guys: they apparently date who put up with it.
yeah seriously. what do they think the man is getting out of that relationship in return? do they even care? they're not partners, they're parasites.
" who should HAVE to pay " turns the gesture into an obligation. " who GETS to pay " turns the gesture into an act of kindness.
There's a difference. The point of a date is that you WANT to do something nice with and for the person you like, not that you HAVE to do something nice in order to get someone to like you. Male or Female, its that simple.
Very well said! Allow me to also add that during the dating stage, two individuals are still getting to know each other (given they didn't know each other beforehand). So there is no commitment, just two people trying to see if they are romantically compatible. Too bad that there are people out there who feel ENTITLED to getting paid for just because they happen to be, in this case, female. In reality, no one is obligated to pay for the other. And as a person who always pays on dates, if I get the idea that I'm being obligated, then I don't want to pay
Paying for date is a part of chasing and masculine. Only cheap men don't. Real men, gentlemen love chasing. Real men feel it's his pleasure to pay for the lady he like. Her gratitude, her time, her feminine are all a real men need. Paying for date is no problem to a real men. Providing for women is masculine.
@@adw6894 Those real men should provide for their significant other. Until you are that significant other, they are not obligated to provide for you. We are not your father nor your husband. You're just some stranger that a man happens to try and get to know. Your definition of a "real man" revolves around being able to exploit a man. You don't get to put a narrative to what makes a real man. Begone.
@@adw6894 real men dont mind paying for real women. men look for partners in life, if your personality aint it then the most youre gonna get is screwed a few times and left on read. men arent stupid and we know what a leech looks like compared to a real woman. nowadays men are starting to be told by other men that its okay to want a woman to bring something of substance to the table before sitting down to eat for free out of the relationship. a woman who just shows up looking nice isnt enough for alot of men now. we have been told for years what we or obligated to bring just for a girl to look at us with interest, and now its womens turn to relaize they need more than just looks and some sugar walls to get in the door to that house they want.
@@adw6894 Not a real Scotsman much? Nobody gets to decide who's a "real" man. You sound like you grew up in the 50's.
She’s been dating him for 5 months and she hasn’t paid once? Really?? 😂🤦🏻♂️
and she asks in what moment she has to pay, wow
ONLY FAIR IF HE IS NOT COMMITTED!!
nofy bn why would he commit to a woman who never offers to pay? It’s obvious she’s just using him.
I am a girl and when I heard that I was like WTH? Is she the queen of England or what? Does she even realize guys have to work hard for their money like everybody else?
Ikr?! I was like wtf, and this was filmed in 2016..I stopped dating over a decade ago, and even then as 'old fashioned' as I was, I still took turn paying for the dates with the men I went out with.
"Chivalry is dead, and women killed it" - Dave Chapelle
"Dave Chapelle is dead and leftism killed him" - Respeezy
respeezy why? what he did for you saying this.
Rodrigo B. I still consider him one of the greats, but when i watched his latest special, i still cant argue with his delivery because it is masterful but the topics... Trump... Police beating blacks... Gender i mean jesus it was everything of the leftist agenda checklist that guarantees everyone to applaud, like every fucking comedian is doing nowadays. Osss by the way my friend, you must know i consider whitebelts to be people too!
I cant agree more!!! Enough said!!:D
didnt watch this , soo thats why im asking, sad to hear.About the belt , I agree with Bruce Lee...its only good to hold your pants, you can beat most of "belts" with the right will and training,and on street fights(where it matters) that count even less. But thanks,left scum taking over.
Men paying was relevant when women just stayed at home and didn't work.
Kenn Clarete try explaining to idiots...
Get bullied by feminism
Kenn Clarete exactly
Kenn Clarete EXACTLY!
Kenn Clarete exactly this. Go half and half or alternate who pays. And this is also why on the first date you should go for something small, like ice cream or coffee, so that both parties are sure to afford it, and it's not a choice between your dignity and not being able to shop for groceries for the rest of the month.
It sucks the other way around too: "I insisted on paying, now have sex with me."
"when a guy feels like you are not even trying to contribute, that's when he feels used" "and it has nothin to do with money, it has to do with lack of gesture" these 2 quotes destroyes what woman been taught! Thanks for the wisdom! Woman learn as we man also learn, for a better balance! ❤️
No lie, had a date with a woman and it didn’t even cross her mind. She even didn’t even take her wallet with her on purpose. Like she has the right for a free meal on my costs. She genuinly felt entitled to my money. So I smartly stood up (like I was going to the toilet) gave the waiter my half & left. She called me super angry claiming I should’ve paid. I said why? She said “because you’re a man”. I said: “so because fate has decided that you have ovaries in your stomache I should pay for your food? That doesn’t sound very “equal”, I’m all for equality”
The thing is I would’ve had no problem paying, but this girl had an entitlement, crazy. I only pay for ladies that deserve it. I dodged a bullet. She had to call one of her friends to come to the restaurant & pay her bill🤣🤣🤣.
@@MK-hw2ir that story just shows how kings must value themselves! Well done! I have one also, i went to grab this girl i was seeing, took her to the beach, we stayed there for a while at night, a beautiful night, then she said she was hungry, ok, lets get you something to eat, i took her near her home, where there was a drive burger king, so i was asked for her what she wanted, and right before we hit the window to grab the stuff, i told her, how you gonna pay, so we fast pay and leave? And she said, wait you are not gonna pay? You aint a gentleman at all! And i said, so i went to get you in my ride, i took you to the beach for you to distress from your problems, you said you was hungry, i took you to burger king to fill up your belly, im gonna let you home save, for all of this i consider myself a gentleman, because if i would invite you to have dinner, i would take to a finess restaurant and i would very likely would pay the dinner. The rest is history, we had a discussion a couple of weeks ago, and she throw that to my face, so yeah, i dodged a bullet aswell! But hey this was not a woman, this was a person who wanted to have a man on her side to bank her! Guess what i told her to fuck off 👑😂
@@MK-hw2ir you shouldve told her: "so because im a man that i shouldve paid, you shouldve had sex with me because youre a woman"
PROTECTION these days is all about MONEY MONEY MONEY. Money cannot always buy you protection and LEADERSHIP HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY.
If you asked her out, you pay. She is not using you, she is accepting your invite and receiving from you. You are the one being the emasculated man whining about a woman accepting the invite YOU did. So sad.
Who is this dude and why is he in a room full of stereotypical women?
They all swiped right.
Because he's incredibky handsome lmao
Because he is running a seminar for women on how to get men. And clearly all these women need this seminar because have their heads so far up their asses, no guy wants them.
Because hes hot and women objectify us more than we objectify them. So, they'll listen to him.
Women need a seminar on how to get men? Just don't be fat.
Women pay to see this guy just talking basic common sense in 2017, I mean is this groundbreaking information or something??
RoguePenguinScotland yes...in western society and everywhere else pretty much...
It is common sense but common sense isn't common. Also, he is probably able to use a better vocabulary and describe exactly how we are better than even I could.
He just tells it like it is. Women need that nowadays, they have these insane standards that they expect guys to live up to. How many guys tell girls like it is is? Probably none not their fathers not their bf, so your point is weak. He is filling a need that i don't see many other people filling.
truthseekr420 j exactly 98% of these women coaches tell women the same bullshit stories on how it's the man's fault or how you just need find better men etc... never telling women to look at themselves . It's a breath a fresh air to see someone like him tell it like it is
Ikr
Paying for someone is an extremely nice gesture, if a friend did it for me I'd be damn grateful and probably pay them back later somehow. If however someone, like most of these women, expect or feel entitled to it just because they have a vagina then the guy is wasting his time. "No gentlemen left", right... remind me again how you being an extremely entitled woman makes you a lady?
boimackhead a Guy with wealth usually passes up on that kind of woman
Mentality of a golddigger...
boimackhead such a woman thing to say. So by that standard every woman should sleep with me because they have a vagina
Agree. I always offer to pay my own shit cause men do offer usually but I'm just like you know I can pay my stuff it's fine.
boimackhead Having money doesn’t eliminate common courtesy and kindness. It’s not about the money, it’s about respect
He isn’t disrespectful towards women, he just explains his points and views us as equals. A true gentleman.
ikr
Only a spoiled, immature idiot would see this as disrespectful. He is asking women (and men) to behave like responsible, ethical, empathetic adults and treat their date with respect and dignity, as you would treat your best friend or anyone you actually care about. If you don't, then it would be pretty obvious you're just taking advantage of the guy and don't really care about him.
I bet half of those women probably liked him a lot less after that talk.
Men and women aren't equal
@@blacklyfe5543 k
This video is proof that women dont know what they want.
At the beginning you hear what sounds like every woman in the room agreeing that men should always pay. Then, by the end after a simple, logical explanation of why that is wrong, they all change their mind and look at the speaker like hes the greatest guy ever for thinking this.
Ok, so you're angry at women for understanding they were wrong and accepting what the speaker was saying? Because it is often the men who CAN'T do that (accept that their point of view is wrong, even after an explanation). Like, I'm sure many women can't do that either but actually hating on them for seeing that the speakers 'simple, logical explanation' actually makes sense and then changing their views...mad
April Ludgate Why do you assume im angry?
Because if someone told me I didn't know what I wanted I'd get a hostile vibe from that, so your comment sounded like you were angry
April Ludgate So you're projecting your own feelings on to me? Typical woman...
Lol so you're using the 'typical woman' excuse on me because you can't find a better comeback? Typical men...
Women: “WE SHOULDN’T STAY AT HOME. WE CAN MAKE MONEY TO YANNO.”
Also Women: “Nah I ain’t paying”
Who the hell is YANNO?
Hennessy Blues i think it should be „you know“
@@hennessyblues4576 i think its a typo. I think they mean "YA KNOW"
@@LokiLoverForever99 I thought it was an animé term.
I want equality!!! Now be a gentleman and pay my bill😂😂
TheLastComment brah😂. And some dude In the comments is like (with air quotes) “an alpha male always pays” lil kid has probably never been on multiple dates
men: female want equality, now my children should have my wife s name instead of mine, we decided it by a dice.
isn't there double barreled name in america?
#doublestandards
I also want fair pay (even though the wage gap is a lie) continues to make men pay more than women at cake sales
This is SUPER true I remember this first date I went on with this girl and she offered to pay for something made me like her more. It made me literally feel okay paying for everything. The gesture is super important.
I pay for the first date but she pays for the first date tip that shows me how generous she is to other people which is what is most important to me.
I bet that was the last date with her.
I think some women will make the offer to pay, but not actually intend to do it. I don't think things will truly be good in society until women are asking men out half the time and paying half the time.
@@laurag8126 I would take an average looking girl without makeup who splits the bill and treats me like an equal partner over a girl who looks gorgeous in makeup and insists I pay any day of any year.
@@laurag8126 stop being so ignorant. Men don't order you to wear makeup 😂 you guys do it to enhance your own looks
The only time a feminist won't get mad at a man is when he is very attractive.
So true
Imagine of an ugly short guy said this.
Those women would be laughing at him.
My mom says I’m good looking and feminists hate when I tell them to get back in the kitchen
@@metalmurcielago women hate it too when they get physically moved too the kitchen
There are self proclaimed feminists for whom that is true certainly. But the basic idea of feminism is the idea that men and women should be treated equally by our society, laws, have the same opportunities for jobs and pay. That’s why you see feminists fighting for something like paternity leave where we give women far better than men, in addition to looking at pay where it’s slanted the other way.
Feminism shouldn’t be turned into a negative because of the people on the fringes of that group. Because really is there any group or idea where the craziest person there is representative of the whole?
Sad that some women need to be told how to act like human beings.
doctadeath2020 Yes, but it's not their fault, look at the media, movies, etc... All point out that men should only pay otherwise he's not a gentleman.
Astrid Wagner you wanna talk about it?
Astrid Wagner Woman do the exact same aswell, pretty sure you got that ''cheating man'' Image out of movies as well....
max mustermann not at all. It happens all the time in real life. Or men wish it could.
Astrid Wagner then you might want to review what those 20 years filled with.
It’s so sad that he even has to talk about that. If a guy or whoever I’m on a date with insists on paying on the first date, I will insist on paying for the second one.
I agree with this. I've never not known who was paying before going out. When she invites me out, she pays. When I invite her, I do. If we mutually decided to go out, usually we both offer and one of us pays (and it swaps naturally the next time). I would never date someone who had to think hard about this and it wouldn't surprise me if the ones who do, are single.
Ameer I most of the time get my wallet out to show that I would be fine with paying and then we what happens and the guys most of the times just pay but I at least want them to know that I would be ok with paying and then the next time or the time after that I would INSIST to pay. But there are people that are using guys and let them pay all the time. I don’t get how anybody can never offer to pay and let the other person pay all the time.
@Ameer Man, if she is not at least offering to pay and doesn't actually pay EVER, get rid of her. She's using you.
@Ameer Maybe so. I would never know because I would never date someone who identifies as such.
@Ameer There's a difference between a feminist wanting to prove that there are absolutely no differences between men and women and a woman who believes in finding balance with her partner, which will vary from relationship to relationship.
When I was in the early dating stages with my now wife, she paid the second time we went out. At first I couldn't believe it and thought she was putting me through those ridiculous tests that women love to use, but turned out that her behavior was genuine. Looking back, I can see that this was a major sign of her character and how classy she is. She was the only women I ever dated who did this. All the others expected me to pay simply because I am a man. This is one of the many reasons I am still with her 25 years later and love her more than ever.
Daniel Jones, all the best to you and your wife. May God bless.
100% agree, he doesn't own you and you should not use him
Maha Hosny truth. So split the check correct?
1 good comment here thanks split the check is the better option
Some women want to be owned
I'm a gentleman, I always pay for the ladies.
Shame there are no more ladies anymore though.
Max Fire Fantasy Report it helps create buildup for the twist in the comment, without it it would appear as one coherent thought and loose is contrast
@@colinmurphy2214 I really wonder if this is Max' first day on the internet. Welcome, Max.
Max Brain Fantasy Report
@@hughjazz4936 😂😂😂😂
But is everyone you date a lady?
Actually on my first date my girlfriend paid, because she suggested the restaurant and was not sure whether I would like it. She paid and said: "next time you choose the restaurant and you buy, deal?"
That's when I knew I found the right person in my life :)
Olilol still going strong?
Congrats, I'm waiting for someone like that too :)
Just dropped in to say Awesome Golden Sun profile pic
You are so lucky! Seriously that's better than winning the jack pot.
Keep in mind the word 'love' means nothing. And that guy you have a bad feeling about? Thats who she'll fuck next when she loses interest in you :D
I broke up recently for exactly this reason. She made me feel like I was only good for what I provided for her. I can't imagine any guy wanting to feel like that.
Plus she was prob going on dates with other guys and sleeping with them lol
At least 98% of these women are still never going to pay after this...
they have selective feminism, they gonna take the good part of patriarchy and feminism at the same time
@@nelsonmejiaslozada9362 Correct
@@nelsonmejiaslozada9362 Selective is correct. Feminists are cowards, they only run their mouths when they have strength in numbers, otherwise feminism is just about "equality"...
GOOD!!
Sad truth
She's been getting her partner to pay for 4-5 months, WAKE UP MEN.....
Dakota Rising I know right? At this point it’s about time to make these men aware of how women can easily use you!
Dakota Rising iv actually been with my partner for exactly a year now and not once has he even allowed me to pay for a bottle of water when I am with him. Don’t get me wrong, I always insists on paying and actually would love too atleast ONCE but he completely refuses, that’s arab men mentality 🤷🏻♀️ can’t argue with that.
Ayah Salemi atleast you offer to pay. It’s the thought that counts (unless u get a Xmas present that’s smaller then my penis, then that’s really a disappointment) I mean wait what?
zadose lol wtf your delusional if you think anyones ever going to be with you being married gives half income to both and if boys have a child with girls most of the time 99% they take the girls side and he loses mostly everything he has including the house kids etc and has to pay child support there is nothing equal about this at all feminism is dumb maybe in the olden days but now its not even important they should help others who need that in other countries also most men dont use girls for sex well they do but dont think all men do that the same with girls sex is dumb the only reason boys want it is because their brain is 100% hardwired to do it and they feel more urges then girls who would want to be in between a nasty hole and it looks disgusting
Dakota Rising
“dating” is prostitution
The fact that this needs to be explained to women at a time when they are fighting for "equality" worries me. I prefer if we both paid for ourselves for the first few dates so that I have enough confidence about the relationship before I invest my money on her. I would hate to have to pay for her appetizer, speciality drink, entree, and dessert.
well that's exactly it. Historically women have been taught that if he invests in you he cares about you. That gives woman confidence that a man will stick around and will not ditch her with unwanted baby or abortion. I think before we preach this we should preach more serious subjects like children who are left with one parent because (usually a man) says I am not paying. The amount of unpaid child support..at least in Canada is in millions of not billions... but who cares about the children.. women will take care of that
exactly. women will take care of that. the same women that go around saying how STRONG and INDEPENDENT they are. women don't need men nor men's money
Equality means we have the same rights in society. Has nothing to do with dating! I think common sense is the best idea. If I cannot afford to pay for something expensive I will tell the guy. He can offer to pay for me and I can accept it. Or we can do something together that is cheaper. Etc.
"Equality means we have the same rights in society. Has nothing to do with dating!"
Society has nothing to do with dating? Just accept it you like the double standard. The only reason why is it a thing is because women were not able to work. Now they can.
BRBallin1 I dated a girl like that and when she went to the restroom, I told the bartender who was a friend of mine dude she is crazy. She was ordering double shots. He actually separated the bill. Needless to say she continued ordering drinks. Then tried to say she had to leave. When he handed her....her bill she was pissed! My friend the bartender looked at her and said....he never said he was paying for your drinks! I just smiled and said you must think I’m stupid!
Matthew deserves a virtual standing ovation. 👏👏👏
As a woman I'm disgusted by the women in the audience automatically expecting a guy to pay without even offering to split the bill. Women want equality but not willing to take the responsibility that goes with that.
100 percent agree
“Half the bill equals half of me getting u off”. Don’t compare paying half the bill with helping someone “get off”. You paying half the bill shouldn’t matter, because those are 2 different concepts. Unless if of course, he doesn’t pay for the bill in full most of the time.
@Ann Vo So having a vagina makes you entitled to free stuffs from man? What's sick way of thinking.
@Ann Vo So having a vagina AND being choosier about the man you date makes you entitled to get free stuffs from man? Still is a sick way of thinking, and this kind of attitude will probably scare the kind of man you're purseing in first place.
That's because it's not equality they're after anymore. Men have been "on top" for quite some time and in order to "balance" that a large portion of women think it needs to be flipped. That women need to be "on top" to somehow make things fair.
It's not how it works but it's how they THINK it works.
3/4 months dating (which btw I think is a long dating phase) and not even once offering to pay the bill. Come on you can’t be like this. I even offer to pay my own drink on the first date when I just had one drink. Matthew is right, it’s got nothing to do with money. It’s about being polite and kind as a person.
@zadose
That is WAYYYYY to soon in my opinion.
What can you learn of another person in that short amount of time?
Almost nothing. You haven't even (most likely) lived together. How can you be sure you can manage together for the rest of your lifes before living together?
@@coolmen7000 that's an interesting point. About your "living together" part I just had the thought that maybe this dating phase can be somewhat irrelevant because you could replace it with the actual commitment of living together in good and bad times. I want to refer to Jordan Peterson who stated that couples who lived together prior marriage tended to break up/divorce because that in itself tells your partner i live with you to check you out and reserve my right to change you if i can find someone better. And i can somewhat understand this if you say i will commit and you will commit we both give our all into making this work from the beginning and not like let's see if i would buy you as a product or can i make a better deal.
I think this is very interesting to think about.
The man needs to pay for a first date. It has nothing to do with being a gold digger or not being polite. A man who truly likes you is gonna want you to know that he's got you. A man who doesn't care that much won't want to pay for you. That's how it is. I agree with Mathew on most of what he says, but he's wrong here. The woman doesn't have to offer anything, not on the first date at least.
Would you be my date?
@@ranip7644 Emad is right ya know. If a man has to pay to prove that he really likes you then what about you? Do you like him? If you dont pay then youre saying you have no interest in him.
its funny how women wants to keep the old fashioned things that benefits them but scream inequality when there are old fashioned things that doesnt benefit them
Sony they want all the pros of equality, and chivalry, but the cons of neither
It's not that funny.
Sony -- ummm you would find that most extreme feminists are willing to go halfs but wait... you don’t want to date those types do you? That’s right... pay up! If you can’t afford it. Dating should be the last thing on your mind 💅🏽
@@candykane5442 extreme being the operative word
@@candykane5442 "pay up! If you can’t afford it. Dating should be the last thing on your mind". You make it sound so much like prostitution. It's as if prostitution and dating have, almost, become synonymous. Weird.
This guy is absolutely SPOT ON.
Nobody likes being taken advantage of.
Make a contribution towards a relationship with a partner ladies, otherwise you are probably going to spend a large proportion of your life being single.
I would not go out on a date or have a short or long term relationship with a woman if she thinks it's acceptable to use a man & take advantage of him.
It's that simple.
t will only make males like you MORE BETA though.. have a mindset of a provider not a cheapskate.. and date with marriage in mind not a temporary pleasure - think long term investment
Wait wait, let me translate this from womanese, cause even this guy is none the wiser. When he says: “if you go out on a date with a guy and you don’t offer to pay your share, you weren’t taught right.” notice how everybody is silent, then he continues: “If you go out on a date and he doesn’t pay he wasn’t taught right.” And everybody’s “hear hear!” at that point. Why? Because that is literally the way they want it to play out: Miss Entitlement goes out on a date, without any sort of cash or card, and plays the silly pretend game of “let me get my purse”, at which point Mr Wallet must get out his and insist that it’s on him: “Oh such a gentleman!”
That’s what they got out of this: that all they have to do is pretend to pay, and then stick to the normal routine. That is all that is wrong: they just didn’t put enough “effort” to act that part. Once they do, then they must be rewarded for their very hard work. Cause pretending to pay is very lady like and hard to pull off, you see.
I caught that too. They’re so selfish! No one wants or needs selfish people...
Matt said something also very important. It doesnt have to do with money itself. My finances wont be hurt by bying a dinner or a drink o a date or on seven dates. The problem is that if the woman never pays or only rarely offers to pay it means that you buy her time. If i wanted to buy the time of a woman i would go directly to an escort.
On the other hand there are many many guys, especially older ones who are willing to pay for the time of young and beautiful girls. Also nothing wrong with that. I would never do it (although i could) because it simportant for me that the female is attracted to my appearance and personality , but its not my business to critisize others. If they are ok with it (going out with women who think they are unattractive or even disgusting) only because they have one, its their choice.
Screw that. Unless they have actually made efforts in the past that ain't passing me. Like I might cover the first date but from there on it should be split.
Wait wot
Ken Cur actually fun story whenever someone presents to be slow and dumb when paying and like idk searching for wallet but can’t find it I’m even dumber and be staring at my phone or at her and be like you alright ?
This reminds me of a girl I used to date. I am currently in high school, and work my own job, we went out for about 4 months throughout that time I paid for every meal. on one of our last dates I was at her house before we left and her mom handed her $40 to pay for her meal. I later texted her mom if she did that everytime we went out and she said yes. She finessed $40 out of her mom and a meal out of me everytime we went out and never offered to pay. I realized that is not someone I want to spend my time with.
(Edit)
Update: I now have a wonderful girlfriend who cares for me alot. There's always someone out there for ya, keep your heads up.
lmao wow shes a little con artist
J Wiro do you like your gender being generalized as a whole?
J Wiro you don’t know most women. You would probably be mad if I called most men cheating whores. Until there’s statistics, you can’t say it’s the truth. And on dates I don’t pay. But I offer too. I always offer and the men insist that they pay. Why get mad at women for not paying, when most of the time men insist on paying. No one is forcing men to pay.
@@clementine8397 Chicken or the egg?? do most men pay since its expected of them or do most women never offer because they are never asked?
i just assume shes a scammer if she doesnt offer and Ghost her.
Good women are still out there. Travel more.
Thank god he's got an accent and biceps or those girls would not be there.
Keep it up brother.
Seriously!
Everyone has an accent
@@gerryjtierney
Accent here means clearance and high volume of the voice not the way of pronouncing words.
Exactly, looks does half the job.
If he was bold and in bad shape, I am pretty sure there would be less girls/ladies there..
I am pretty sure most of them are there hoping to win him..
Yes. This guy has testosterone that smells from miles away.
*These women’s mind:*
Waiter: Here’s your bill
Lesbians: Oh, were not paying.
Waiter: Understandable, have a nice day.
Underrated comment
well actually if the water is a guy he'd have to pay, and if not then another male water has to pay, and if not a male cook, or a male manager, and if not, sue em (not serious btw)
😂😂😂😂
Me: execute order 66
You A legend for this
Wait so woman want to get paid the same as men but don’t want to pay on a date? That is so fkin ignorant.
Don't worry I'm pretty sure America will mature over the next couple 100 years, to get to the point that we currently have in Denmark.
Although the whole Trump thing might have added a few 100s
humudu yep, I think Europe are ahead of USA in wisdom 6 billion years. Well us Europeans have been a civilisation for many years
@@JonathanSantos-gw6hk A slight exaggeration but you are right, it does seem to be the case for almost all of europe :)
@@JonathanSantos-gw6hk and then you look at several countries in Europe who are pushing for women superiority
Women more weaker than the men and the job would be more difficult for them
He's correct and he's wasting his breath. At least he's getting paid :)
His wise teaching fell on deaf ears
@@Ludoovik yes but HE is getting paid and because they don't/won't listen they will remain single and then go to more than one of his events and he will get paid again and again. His seminars are full of win...FOR HIM!!
Indeed. He'll get paid, they'll be sorry to have paid
Yepppppp
Women always have lower average salary than men, less chance for job than men, and have to pay things like cosmetic, clothes more than men. So she doesn't need to pay. And if it's the guy who invites her to go date, he should pay, she already spend her time, and energy to meet you.
These grown women really had to be told this? Wow. So much for equality and financial empowerment.
They still want equality. They just want to be more equal than men
@@Stephven69 that’s called superiority
@@shinndig1293 sarcasm doesn't come across very well on the internet
@@Stephven69 that's because sarcasm is easier to recognise when said in person
@@sullya6967 Honestly I thought that the sarcasm in that sentence was hard to miss
This shocked me. I always at least offer to pay for even a first date. One time an a first date (after he paid for the lunch I offered to pay for) my date and I wound up in an ice cream shop and I insisted on buying him ice cream. I have even insisted on paying for the entire date by the time a 3rd or 4th date. To this day my mom shakes her head at me for it, but I think it's so rude to assume that a man is going to pay. . . even if it is the first date.
If a man likes me and he is trying to court and impress me, he should be masculine enough to pay. I am contributing with my time and attention and possibly a future with the man. And plus it costs me money to get my hair done, makeup, dress, and shoes and gas money to drive to the location to meet the man. If I was asked to pay, that will be a turn off for me. I should have just stayed home and ordered take out food.
Women always have lower average salary than men, less chance for job than men, and have to pay things like cosmetic, clothes more than men. So she doesn't need to pay. And if it's the guy who invites her to go date, he should pay, she already spend her time, and energy to meet you.
Paying for date is a part of chasing and masculine. Only cheap men don't. Real men, gentlemen love chasing. Real men feel it's his pleasure to pay for the lady he like. Her gratitude, her time, her feminine are all a real men need. Paying for date is no problem to a real men. Providing for women is masculine.
@@adw6894 Nobody owes you anything love. It's fine wanting to be courted and paid for, but there is a difference between wanting and feeling entitled to something. Nobody owes you anything and that's the point you clearly cannot fathom. You want husband energy while you're not even committed to each other. You do not know each other and yet you feel entitled to his resources. "It costs me money to get my har done, nails, makeup bla bla bla bla". Yeah, it costs us money to get gym memberships. It costs us money to buy watches, accessories, going to the barber every 3 weeks. It also costs us money to buy proper food to maintain our muscle mass. It costs us money to buy clothes as well. It costs us money to pay the bills, the gas and it costs us our health and potentially our life to work in dangerous jobs. The reality is, you're doing it our of free will while nobody forced you to go buy a new dress every week or spend so much money on makeup. Chivalry is only meant for true ladies who know their own place as well as that of a man, and don't overvalue themselves just because they are women. You do not fit that criteria. Your arguments are absolutely WEAK
what you did is real woman shit right there, dont worry about what your mom said, youre going to catch yourself a real good dude acting like that kittykatkate. i will tell you right now it will show any real man that you respect him and that youre actually interested in him as a person and not just in it for free crap.
I couldn't agree more! I have never expected a man to pay for me. Why is that expected nowadays? Women have income. It's not the 1900's!
rebecca Some men still like the idea of chivalry. It doesn't have to be backwards thinking, if you're a guy with a secure job, and you ask a woman out on a date, you might be inclined to pay for it simply because that's what was considered the gentlemanly thing to do for so long.
70% don't offer to pay.
rebecca You're an anomaly. The majority do not want gender equality.
Vonnies World 29%? That seems much lower than I would expect. Still you bring up a great point. That some women will not go on a second date if they are required to pay - even Dutch - on the first few dates. So I suspect many men pay out of fear that they are being tested. Some women actually admit that on a date they use the bill to test men. The "test" being that if he pays, that means he'll be a good provider. Which is absolute horseshit. I could panhandle for one day and earn enough to buy a woman dinner. That doesn't mean I can provide at all. The worst part is that feminists can take advantage of this on dates and still demand gender equality the following morning. Nothing had changed for men. We are still expected to provide, even if women earn enough to comfortably support two people. I wonder if anti-science feminists will ever consider the possibility that perhaps men and women really are different, and that there is no patriarchy.
Also some men don't like the idea of their women paying...they think the women aren't allowing the men to be the "men"!!!! It doesn't matter if that woman is a doctor or a business owner...some men express their manhood by paying the money.......
The “man always pays” mantra had nothing to do with being a gentleman. It was the case solely because women never used to have money of their own to spend. That’s not the case now.
The fact that this idea has prevailed for so long shows exactly the kind of hypocrisy we have towards gender norms.
I swear I am a women and I was SHOCKED about the initial question of "after 4-5 months dating, when is the time to share the bills" 😳 Like wtf there is women that don't pay shit while dating for MONTHS?! I swear I am in disbelief! I always think if someone asks you out, yes they are supposed to pay cause they INVITED you. That is also how I handle it when I date other women. But if you go to the next date it's supposed to be your turn. Still I do always get my wallet in case my date does expect me to pay my share at the first date. I will take it as his lack of interest actually to actually invest I'm honest, but I really don't want to make a guy feel like they must pay if they really are not happy to do so. If I am in a long lasting relationship I also always handled money as he said - the person who earns more can contribute more. That being said in my previous two relationship I always earned (and payed) more. Now I am in my first relationship where my partner has a higher income - and we started as best friends for half a year (dating other people before dating each other) so money has never even been a topic to talk about. No wonder these women are single lol
Women: " we want equal pay!
Also women: looking for a man who earns a lot more.
Well, there is no ending. It is mathematically unsolved.
When I started dating my husband, I took him to get Starbucks during the beginning of our second date. He told me that was the first time a woman had ever bought him something, and that’s really sad. He did pay for most of the dates because I could barely cover bills, but I did try to buy the popcorn at the movies or dessert at the restaurant when I could. Fifteen years married now!
That's so fucking sweet. Love it.
And also, woah 15 years, that's great guys!
P.S.: Tell your husband this random internet stranger sends him a virtual hi-five
That's how it supposed to be
You showed him that you were interested in him and not just enjoying free food and that’s why he wanted to keep you.
a keeper for sure
My wife paid for drinks before dinner on our first date. When I came back from the bathroom she had taken care of our tab. I was blown away. It was simple gesture, but I never forgot it.
This needs to be spread out more to the community.
it will only make males like you MORE BETA though.. have a mindset of a provider not a cheapskate.. and date with marriage in mind not a temporary pleasure - think long term investment
I'm watching this after the 4th date with a girl who never offered to pay for anything during the course of our dates. In fact, she often asked to have more than what I had planned and only said "thank you" on the first date. Needless to say, there will not be a 5th date.
I hear ya, do classic three strikes. I'm not paying for one's company, that's called prostitution.
Please don't ever do that again, you are encouraging their entitled bitch behaviour. Too many of those already, we don't need more of those types.
SWIFTzTrigger Well I usually initiate by saying "Can I get you Lunch/Dinner sometime?" Or along those lines. By the third date though she should be interested enough to care/try like the speaker states.
Nathan Hromanik Why does it have to be lunch or dinner? for a first date go for a walk in the park, maybe even a picnic, say "bring some stuff you like and i'll bring mine" and try out each others food.
Go to a place you haven't been before with her, maybe a new museum or something.
Its always lunch or dinner for some reason. Even a coffee is good. Its a first date, make it fun for yourself and take some pressure off the conversation too. Thats what I'd do.
+SWIFTzTrigger I couldn't agree more with you, and you know what? There's nothing worse than being stuck in a restaurant with someone you're not getting on with. I feel like the first date should just be super casual with no pressure on either party.
I dated this girl that never paid for anything. Went out to eat and when the bill comes she would sit there and not reach for the tab no matter how long it would take. It's not that I'm cheap, heck the reason why we even go out is only if I would pay, it's the gesture that counts. I lost all my emotions for her when she offered another guy friend to come with us saying, "Oh don't worry, Leng will pay for it." I remember us always fighting about this subject and she just never understood it.
Simply what this guy says, I just felt used. I just felt that I had to use money to get her affection(?).
@davy v beurden bitch the guy is the victim here and you're blaming him? get out of here!
Oh really, you needed that final slap in the face of the guy joining to realize what you were doing is wrong?
I guess it is hard for guys who really want a girl. Hard to turn them down for something like this, but you absolutely have to, to get the life you deserve.
In my case all my girlfriends have always been offering/contributing the same as me, so I can only imagine what it's like, but I know I would drop them no matter how attracted I am to them.
I never understand why men and women have to complicate the first date with money issues. Go for a walk or a coffee; something that costs very little. You don't even know if you like each other at this point so why not simplify the date so there is less pressure? If you are asked out on a dinner date though, always offer to pay something as Matthew says.
Ladies we fought for equal rights so we need to practice what we preach. It's a matter of respecting yourself and the man you might have a future with down the road. It's not "a right" to have the man pay for you, it is a very generous treat from someone you really don't know that well. Great video Matthew! I swear we are related somewhere down the English family tree!
This is NOT about 1st date....did you not watch the video?!?!
Exactly!
Did you NOT read the title of the video? In the first minute of the video Matthew asks "when you are on a date who should pay?" Which indicates a new situation with someone. He also talked about many other scenarios but I was addressing the early stages of dating and the question in the title.
Dear Sybersue
1st date is easy, it's the first time and only happens once, as a guy I always pay....the real issue is the one in the audience member's question that the video is all about...she has been dating the guy 4-5 months and she wants to know who should pay
fcastle Yes but notice that after she asked the question, Matt sort of switched the subject to who should pay in general? He did that to prove a point about the woman's own mindset going into the whole thing.
"what does that say about my future" great reflection on the mindset of women today, at least when it comes to relationships, family etc
Don't bother explaining it dude. Women want equality until it's not benefitial for them.
Angel Of Astora facts
Why not, they're paying him. You spout common sense and everyone applauds and throws money at you. Easiest way to earn a lot of money.
that's not true tho, the women who asked the question most likely isn't a feminist. Any feminist in their right mind would believe that both genders should pay on a date because that is equality
In other words, they don't want equality.
@@visp3913 I mean the idea that any relationship is 100% is fictional and utopian to begin with. The evolutionary trade is resources/protection for fertility. Women are the bottleneck in fertility for mammals and as such. Women rate women's attractiveness acurately, women rate 80% of men below average. In other words: they're historically and biologically more interested in the top 20% of men and are maybe willing to share him if need be. And if the guy is one of this top 20%, they're more willing to pay for the privelege (much like they're willing to pay Matthew Hussey, an exceptionally handsome man, for the ambition to getting a guy like him).
My personal rule is that first date if you don't offer then I can let it slide. If there's a second date and you still don't offer then that is game over, see you never.
If my son was dating you and you dumped him because he wasn't buying you things, I would tell him he dodged a bullet.
Dontmake Meusemyname if your son was lucky enough to find a girl to go out with him twice, yet he didn't even offer to help pay, then she's the one who dodged the bullet. If he doesn't even offer, then he's selfish, inconsiderate, and self-centered.
Try re-reading my comment again with the idea that I'm a guy.
Your level of reading comprehension though...
lhy2209 Did you just assume her son's sexuality?
He disagreed with a women...
May god have mercy on his soul
Rudy Rizza that's what men do
Henning Busch men do what?
Henning Busch wtf u talking about?
Rudy Rizza LMAOO
Men who know who they are always stand up for themselves. What you are saying is that men need to concede that the woman is always right. Fuck that. Man up..dont be a douche about it but put these women in their places.
Years ago, dating a woman when we were both in the service, we organized a trip to bora bora (this was her vacation time during a tour of duty). The biggest reason I was all in was because she said all I had to do was pay for my own way to get there and then it was my responsibility to take care of the food and drink. She took care of all the accommodations. It felt like such a partnership. Best vacation ever!
Wow This is the most heated and intense I've seen Matthew get about a question. The woman that asked that question definitely did not get the entitled egotistical answer her prissy princess ass on a pedestal was expecting. She probably went home and told all her friends eh Matthew Hussey is overrated, his answers are stupid! After getting completely demolished by a solid answer by Matthew.
Roo Sentom Her friends disliked this video then. 😄
boganus699 He's not entirely wrong about that one. There's all kinds of double standards in heterosexual relationships, it's not the end of the world. I don't think most guys actually MIND paying for a first date, if we had a good time and the woman was respectful and appreciative of that. We just mind it when the woman acts entitled.
Pavel : Generally, most men don’t mind paying for the first date.
I said FIRST DATE!
What happens afterwards is different for each guy. Some men don’t mind paying for 7 more dates. Some won’t allow that.
If a girl expects me to pay the next one and the one after, then that speaks for itself.
Lin Bin Of course, that's why I specified first date in my comment. The woman in the video who expected $$$ after months of dating is not somebody I would ever be with.
Ira Success lol you hate her
I am getting sick of being told how a guy should treat a women. Oh a guy should do this, a guy should do that, should never do this, should never do that. Have we ever speak about how a lady should treat a guy? We never have a nation wide conversation about how a lady should treat their men right, because whenever we have that conversation, its sexist. This is such a double standard. Women should be treated equally with men and nothing less or more than that.
fix Bro, time ago gentleman existed because "ladies"(well-mannered females) existed. At this time there is no such thing as a ladylike behaviour so I don't see why we should still acts as gentleman
its all just fuckboys and bitches these days
You obviously don't read
Kufre Akpan I was aggreing with him with my comment
@Oh K haha, so thats how it is..ok
Love the idea of treating him like you would treat your best friend. Great insight!
so do I
A girl I was dating with for 2 months never at once offered to pay when we were going out. Granted she was earning minimum wage, but the gesture would have mattered mattered so much. We went out for about 2 months till eventually she ended things.
I eventually met up with another girl I haven’t seen for 9 months at a mutual friends gathering. I’m gonna marry this girl in 2 months. My fiancée has always offered to pay and is very respectful towards both our time. Being appreciative and respectful goes a long way!
Yup, it was never about money, it's about the principle of putting in effort. If the first girl that you had dated for 2 months, said to you "Can you pick up these items, I want to cook for you" you would have no problem.
@@Ryo8761 Exactly! Effort means everything!
equality is equality. it's certainly not about one gender being better over the other. Everything matthew said was beyond accurate.
I as a man have no issues paying, unless you feel ENTITLED to me paying.
Well good luck being taken advantage of. I honestly don't feel sorry for guys like you when women take advantage of you because of your narrow traditional way of thinking. You'll learn the hard way my friend.
@@nimalperera948 I can sniff out the genuine from the ingenuine before I even reached for my wallet. One thing I do is not take women out on dinner dates. The only time I pay full is whenever we are doing fun, but cheap activities. I only got taken advantage of once in my life which was years ago and I happened to learn from it right away. Since then, never again. I don't mind being traditional to a woman who is traditional aswel. I'll never invest more than the other person materialistically or emotionally. So don't worry about me.
I have issues paying. Why should I pay for a date? Unless the girl is my friend, which is rarely the case on first dates.
@@MrLoowiz You have every reason to have isues paying considering how entitled and selfish women and shallow modern dating have become. That's why I am extremely picky with who I take on a date and if I happen to take them on a date, I'd go and so a fun activity with them which is very cheap. No fancy dinners or anything that requires $$$. That's a mistake I've only made once in my life and never again. If I pay, I'm paying for my actual girlfriend and not some stranger.
@@andnowyouknow3363 Fortunately I've never done that mistake, but I've learned from others. Yeah, don't give women free stuff just because they're women. Spoiling women is the reason we have toxic feminism.
Women want to pick and choose their equality. They want equal pay, which they already have, but they want to be treated like princesses when they go out. You are expected to respect them as an equal but treat them like they are special but they refuse to do the same.
Men have to initiate everything.
Men have to pick them up.
Men have to pay.
Men have to cater to them.
I put up with that crap constantly and it's a big reason why I haven't dated for a long time. I'm not going to put up with doing all the work. If a woman is interested in me, then she needs to put in some effort as well.
Here's a simple test. Don't text or call the woman you are talking to, or even dating, and see if she initiates a conversation. In my experience, the majority won't but they get mad you haven't talked to them for a while.
Brett Hobbs no need to type all this, just say feminism is cancer.
Brett Hobbs btw, I do that, I sometimes don't text her, to see if she if she initiates a conversation.
This is so right...
This is why I left my ex of 5 years.
I moved out for a "few months" for work reasons, 3 weeks into the first month I sent her a text saying I was done waiting for her attention
MrPandarilla dude, you did good.
3 weeks she didn't say anything? :D WTF
i'm looking at this room full of women and about 80% look like they're in their mid to late 30's who don't even look that attractive yet they expect the guy to have to "work for it"
For my point of view a relationship /marriage is like a team work.
Both should contribute and make the relationship flower.
Also equality comes to raising your kids, feed them, bathe them, get them to school and of course household chores. We are a team ! ☺️
Personally I find it very generous someone paying for my coffee or beer on the first date even if I am always willing to pay my half . Of course I pay back next time or prepare dinner.
Boom!!!!! Thats what i was looking forrr that comment omg why all women cant be sensible as this comment 😂😂
Honestly i am amazed wel said!
Kudos well said. :)
keep this mindset no matter how much the world tries to kick it out of you and youll land a good partner someday. men find this attitude extremely refreshing and attractive.
Both should contribute to raising the kids until they grow up and make them do the chores instead lmao.
women want equal rights, start by paying up!
and children should start having their mum's surname instead of father, also men should do the sewing things when ur wife's shirt is broken.
I've heard many women go on tinder dates just to get free meals
GlennCocoGuitar its true, happened to me a couple of times, now i tell every potential date im only paying for myself, so then i know if they still want to go to dinner with me, its not for a free meal
free meal? they are cheap. in history women married guys who brigns them every day free meals
I've heard people suggest just meeting for coffee on the first date, if they're serious about starting a relationship and aren't just in it for free food then they will meet you.
is one meal expensive in US ?
one meal isnt expensive, having to go out with 5 different girls because they don't want a date(no 2nd date with them) but a free meal can add up to be very expensive
Matthew was spot on with the sex argument.
These women have all these requirements and demands on the man to behave in stereotypical ways (pay for dinner, provide for her, chivalry, etc.)
But I guarantee you any hint of a suggestion that they should fill stereotypical roles for a housewife (constant sex, doing chores around the house, having dinner ready for him, etc.) they would freak out.
That was smart of him by bringing sex argument that if iam suppose to pay for your lazy ass then you owe me sex whenever i want🔥
The most gentleman-like thing you can do at a first dinner, is when you get the check you say "are we splitting this or am I splitting those" while pointing at her legs
Barkeroni my panties would have dropped so hard and fast if a guy said that to me
He can kiss goodbye to the country club
That is the perfect response
I laughed my ass off at this comment.
Then what does a man owe a woman when she pushes out his babies? Million dollar home? I mean if we are gonna be equal here and go tit for tat..then what then? if I am breaking my vagina to bare your seed what do I get then? oh wait nothing. 80% of single headed households are women most of whom cant even get child support lol. Some equality we got there.
For all of you who are saying "the guy should pay if he asked you out", don't agree to go on a date with the guy who you're unwilling to split the bill with.
Dubya W I always say it while texting that we gone split all men need to start getting some balls and say it upfront instead to wait till the last minute if they know how this hoes think
Oh K dumbass lmao
Oh K
"You're showing her why you'd be a suitable partner"?!?
How about her showing the guy why she would be a suitable partner? Or are you suggesting she is by default based on looks and don't need a personality?
@@jensdanbolt6953 Truth, my friend. Absolutely agreed.
Rollie55 if a woman asks a guy out she should pay, which is why, a woman should NEVER ask a guy out. The only thing that she could do is tell the guy that she likes him, incase he could be shy, but that's it.
the fact that women do not get this basic stuff is extremely sad. enormous amount of what women think they know about guys is fairytale. My wife get's it. her best friend who uses guys as ATM's is still single and crying, but she still has no clue.
actually there reason that golddiggers exist is because there are men who are willin to pay for their "affection", "love", "company" or "sex". I f there were not such guys, golddigers would have no purpose to exist. Its that simple. Of course my opinion is that women should pay also (50/50 or 60/40 or something like that according to one`s financial situation) but i cannot blame women who are trying to take advantage of these men. It a fair transaction in which the female says "my time costs so much" and the male responds "ok i accept it". Everything clear.
I'm not from the states and here there isn't this double standard of who is going to pay...
It is normal to split the bill or for the woman or the man to pay for both, it does'nt have anything to do with gender here.
I once went on a date with an american guy and I felt really uncomfortable because he wanted to pay for eveything...
@@lilyderoux7080 I went in a Tom Horton last week with a guy and he asked me if I wanted something. I wanted something, but I said I didn't want anything, cause I didn't want him to pay for me. I would have paid for myself but I thought that might be rude since it would be like I'm rejecting him. So maybe he thought I was on a diet haha... but I don't think I will talk to him again anyway cause I'm leaving. That wasn't really a date but hey.. I guess he wanted to invest money in me haha
I would just split the bill it's so dumb to expect someone else to pay.
Don't be with a women that complains if you tell her you want to split the bill
On my first date with my girlfriend, we went out for drinks and she said she wanted to go 50/50 pretty early on in the evening. When the bill came, she was in the bathroom, so I just paid it (I didn't really mind). When she came out, she wanted to pay her share, but I'd had a few drinks and just said it didn't matter. On the way back, I was checking my pockets for my cards and found that she had guessed the amount and put her half in my pocket! (she actually overpaid her half lol) That was 5 years ago and we are still going strong!
The lack of trying is exactly why I broke up with my ex. She had troubles, but didn’t make an effort to try. It’s okay that things fail out, but failing to try is the worst.
Matthew hits it right on the nail
Wow, I'm shocked by the attitude of these women. Why is this even a question that needs to be asked!? And how do they even get a guy to go out with them, let alone date them? Good job, Matthew, for holding up the mirror to point out their double standards.
Verena Fuchs sex is why
I can answer the questions about how do the even get a date, based on my own past experience. Some guys see a decently pretty girl with a halfway decent personality, or what we think is a decent personality and they ask her out. The girl will say okay to a first date and then if he asks will say yes to a second date just to get another free meal unfortunately. I was at one time under the impression that things were going great after a couple of dates with a female friend (I say female friend because we never got to the bf/gf phase) and after the third date, I was sitting next to one of her friends at an event she wasn't at and I saw a text about me that said she was uncomfortable around me. Not uncomfortable enough to allow me to take her on a second date and third date though and get more free meals out of me. Needless to say I didn't bother asking her on a fourth date after I saw that text I wasn't meant to see.
Because guys will compromise themselves to get what they want. Likely sex, but there are other reasons too.
They dated for 5 -6 months without the girl paying! This is flat out ridiculous. And then tell it's the gentlemanly thing to do.
Mam u r a Real Lady
I used to go out with this girl for several months, it was the first time I kinda dated someone, the first time we grabbed coffee or lunch or whatever it was, I offered to pay and she immediately asked me if I was sure and wouldn't rather just split the bill. I disagreed and told her that my dad who passed away taught me to be a perfect gent to a lady as long as she didn't EXPECT me to. I told her I wanted to do right by his name and pay for the first date but appreciated the offer. Then told her she could use that money to ask me out for coffee the next time and it'd be her treat.
Over the months we saw each other regularly, and from the start on we took turns with the bill, if she was tight on cash I'd take another turn and vice versa. It never worked out between us but we still hang out as close friends and we still take turns with the bill, maybe I've paid for more dinners/lunches, or maybe she has, neither of us knows, neither of us cares, it's just money, it's the mutual gesture that matters :)
At least you learnt from your mistake. Don't ever offer to pay fully to a woman. That's like an invitation to make her take advantage of you in the future
I hope i find man same to u 😊
That’s a beautiful story 💓
every woman in the world needs to see this video
The idea of a date is to find out if two people have potential compatibility, not for one to pander to the other.
My mom always taught me something: If you allow him pay for your stuff, also allow him to do whatever he wants with you. Everything has a price and if you want a real gentleman who will respect you for who you are, be independent and pay for your own stuff.
Jessika Eguía Yes!
In a perfect world maybe, but the reality is not everyone have the maturity to think that, and like Matthew says not everyone have the same economic equality. It's easy to feel use when you make a gesture for politeness or to be a gentleman and the other person get use to it real quick and begin to abuse of it. It happen to me twice with to different women, and keep me wonder if they see me like a wallet or they think i'm their father? and yes is not just about the money in my instance is time. Doing a lot of things for a smile? you get my thinking you meet the perfect girl in first dates... because if i go out and pay for food, tickets, etc for every girl i think is the one until know her better and if not, continue to do it... is a black hole in the economy for everyone. In my opinion is a bad teaching that come from the parents, a hear story from a friend about a man that work and do a lot of things for a woman, she has the same thinking "i'm a woman i don't pay" and even her parents though that if he works he has to pay her things and if she works is her money and she spend it in clothes and the needs of her own. Of course life is not perfect and when he run out of money for personal issues, she change him for another one with more money and their parents agree with her. What i'm trying to say is, so much power corrupt the people beacuse we begin to see each other like objects when a equality isn't the room anymore. And yeah, we guys can fall in that too, if she see me like a cash machine, i begin to see her like an object too, like a doll, if she gets old i change her for another beatiful model more young and fresh. Domino effect.
KillerBeees Then all those girls are going out for you for free movies and food buddy.
Smart mother
@@chaotikkiller1617 I wouldn't put it the way her mother did but I think the guy in the video puts it in a better way ....If u expect something from him why is it wrong of him to expect something from u? If u're implying he is only worth what is wallet can afford to pay for u than why cant he deem u only valuable if u're willing to put out? Same standards.
If a guy pays, the girls owes him nothing, that's reality. But also, who wants a women that only wants and gets and takes, takes, takes and doesn't give in anyway and feels entitled to behave like that? Some women don't even feel like they owe the guy some decent company and stay on their phones during a date or expect him to make all the conversation. Stop being a white knight
a woman's time IS more valuable than a man because women have expiration date.
mrzack888 savage
oh my xD
That does not make her time more valuable to anyone else just more important (to her)
Biologically speaking and from a purely logical perspective, women's reproductive systems are a more valuable resource, and not only because of menopause. One man can impregnate potentially hundreds of women; however, one woman can obviously only get pregnant about every nine months, delivering typically just one baby.
Why this matters from an evolutionary perspective: If half (or even 90%) of the male warriors and hunters of an Amazon tribe are killed in a battle, but they protect the women, then the next generation will still be about the same size, because each woman counts.
HOWEVER, most of us aren't living in caves or primitive villages anymore. Protecting women above all else (not saying they don't deserve protection) is no longer a matter of survival. There are billions of us, and it's no longer necessary for society to revolve around women's reproductive systems.
So while you're correct in one sense, it's not an excuse to treat men as second-class citizens and unequal partners. Equality should mean equality, not equality with special exceptions.
Adopt then
My wife was the only woman I ever dated that I actually ever saw a future with, and that view happened the day I saw her try for me. The gesture/act in itself was small, and in her eyes, she probably didn't think nothing of it; but it was the first time in years that someone put me first/tried to do something for me.