Common Boundary Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

In this video, Dr. Nelson from Transformations Counseling explains common errors people make when setting boundaries, especially for beginners. One major mistake is over-explaining, which weakens the message by giving others room to argue. Instead, he advises using short, clear statements about emotions, desired behaviors, and consequences. Another key error is waiting too long to enforce boundaries, allowing resentment to build and lead to emotional outbursts. Boundaries should be enforced promptly and calmly. Additionally, failing to follow through with consequences makes boundaries ineffective, turning them into mere suggestions. He stresses the importance of pushing through fear or guilt when enforcing boundaries consistently. Lastly, the "ignore and zap" mistake occurs when boundary violations are overlooked until emotions boil over. By addressing issues early, communicating clearly, and applying consistent consequences, people can foster healthier relationships and reduce anger. Transformations Counseling is here to help you reach your best self, better relationships, and a balanced life.
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[@m.h.8084]

This was the best explanation of boundary enforcement and definition I ever saw. I wish I had it many years ago. I feel the effects of absence of being taught as a young person so acutely. It lead to series of romantic relationship where I was taken for granted and mistreat, and worse.
I wish we all were taught this in schools.

[@transformations.counseling]

We are glad you liked it :)

[@lizgoble1]

It was good to hear your talk. Elizabeth 🎉

[@transformations.counseling]

Thank you!!

[@miriamlandau1207]

I appreciate you discussing this very important topic!
- A fellow therapist.
🙂👍🎉

[@transformations.counseling]

We appreciate you!!