Addicted till age 66, been clean since , over 4 years. Don't give up trying to overcome. One day at a time, face the pain, and don't look back. All things are possible for you
No suboxone or nothing? Ive been on 2 subs a day for about a year. Thinking its time to at least cut back but dont know if I could stop entirely and not go back to benzos or smack. Sort of a two fold problem for me
@@jamesgilbert91 Nothing. Won't go into the story, but i tried for many years to stop, meeting, cold turkey, never could get hold of it, but never quit trying. Should be dead with waht put myself through. Morning of 104/2017 let's just say i was visited by angel disguised as meth addict. She handed me sobriety chip as she left my home. Made me look in the mirror, and i said "you did this to yourself". At that moment asked God for "little joy". Got honest with myself, follow few steps that were planted in my head at that moment. Vision was given me, that everybody has to start at beginning to become what they want to be, anything is possible if you just keep moving forward. From that moment on, i quit looking back at failures, and believed the addictions never had to happen again. Did go to therapist for 8 months, i was drowning in guilt and shame. Faced that, let it go. If you met me today, you would never believe i ever had addiction let alone it only ended 4 years ago
“It’s almost like oxygen, you feel like you have to have it to survive.” Man. 10 years clean here, and a mama to 2. I can’t imagine being apart from my babies. But I have been that person shooting up day after day and so, I am thankful to be sober today. And I’m wishing her the best. I can feel the sadness. You are not alone.
Thats awesome and yeah we all felt that, when that shit is up in your soul and thinking you'll be an addict for the rest of your life how could you possibly live without it. How could you go through life feeling all the feelings and thoughts that were numbed out and repressed. Navigating through daily life without that pick me up, feeling like who we are on drugs is who we truly are. Thats the deep shit. I think about that every day, am I even comfortable with being my true self now that I'm sober. Is this really me, will I like ME? The mental aspect of opiates is far more soul crushing than the physical once you get over the withdrawals and sickness, that's when the real battle begins. I wish her the best of luck though anyone can do it.
Good on you for your 10 years and your two babies! I've been using heroin for 25 years and I had 90 days plus a couple and I just relapsed and have two days clean and I'm sick as fuck and really tired of it all. I have a bed coming up in treatment in two days so I'm scared to death but also very excited.
Wow! This woman's story really resonated with me. I felt every emotion in her. Im also a mom of two kids roughly the same age as hers. Jenny if you read this... don't give up hope. Your kids need you and will forgive you. ❤
These mom’s often bail on their children when their unprocessed trauma resurfaces at the time when their child(ren) hit the same milestones they were injured by. It’s all unconscious. I’ve seen it over and over, sadly. I hope this woman gets a chance through recovery to work on her own past so she can stop passing it in to her children. The sins of the mother get passed down too.
It was really hard seeing my kids be 4-6 years old and realizing just how young and innocent I was when somebody stole that from me again and again. Your comment bears immense truth.
Jenny we are rooting for you. When u said u died and were mad that you were saved, that broke me. Your addiction stems from your childhood trauma. Your kids having a mom that died from drug overdose is trauma. It’s possible for them to follow your path in order to heal from their trauma. Please please get help Jenny. Your kids care and want a mom
Or the addiction could have come from neuro-transmitter deficiencies, heavy metal toxicity, infections, and a whole host of other possibilities. Not everyone with childhood trauma becomes a drug addict. So there are always multiple factors at play.
I love how Jenny acknowledged that her addiction and eating disorder are ways for her to control something in her life. Her father not being affectionate wasn't something she could control. Her mother being an addict was something she couldn't control. Her depression was something she couldn't control. This is a really important revelation to make. The only thing is, she's normalized it. She's comfortable where she's at because the control is something she doesn't want to give up. Being comfortable isn't a healthy feeling all the time. I hope one day, Jenny, you get out of the routine and better yourself. You have self-awareness, it's just executing what you already know.
Hi Mackenzie. Perhaps it might be an idea to be a little more mindful of your language if you're going to give, albeit well-intentioned, advice to others whose situation you don't personally understand. Telling someone who has depression and struggles to forgive themself for their past actions (hence, the substance use in the first place. We use to escape, or find reprieve from, some part of our inner or outer world) that you hope they better themselves, might not be super helpful. In the sense that if she already feels unworthy or insufficient, the implications of your words only serve to confirm that belief. Language is powerful. ...And if we could all do stuff just because we consider it to be a "positive life choice", we wouldn't have so many souls struggling with addictions of various kinds, while those around them act as though it shouldn't be so difficult. This makes you feel even more depressed, anxious, inadequate, insufficient and defective, which makes you desperately want to get rid of those harrowing feelings. Enter tried and tested maladaptive coping mechanisms. I've lived this... and truly believe it makes it harder to stop... Just saying... ✌️💙🌻
@@madamswamp8286 I disagree. People need to be reminded of their responsibilities. If we just accept everyone making poor choices, society will collapse. More and more damaged children are born into poverty and despair. When you have children you are responsible for them. You cant just decide you dont like motherhood after having 3 babies. This woman was lucky in that she had a husband who was present. She had both parents and wasnt horribly abused as a child. She could have got on methadone and stayed with her kids. She put her own fun ahead of her children.
@@madamswamp8286 oh shut up . Everyday every hour she is away from her kids In inexcusable. If she wanted to shoot dope on the streets all day long she shouldn’t of got pregnant and just dumped them off at her parents . 0 sympathy
The last thing ANYONE needs is to be kicked when they're already down. None of you making comments know how much she loves her kids. Your story isn't hers. Yeah, alot of people get clean for their kids... but for others its harder and it's a longer road. I dont judge her. I wish her the best. One STEP at a time Jenny ❤️, thats all you can do right now
People take for granted normal brain functioning, and think of it as positive character attributes. Because of how the brain changes, in addiction, people can’t access the higher order thinking and moral reasoning that makes up all of what we consider our better qualities, and could stop them from using. That person is still in there, but people can’t access it because the brain process of addiction (not the substance) destroys pathways to the prefrontal cortex. This happens because the brain signals a survival emergency, and higher order thinking is a luxury, in an emergency. The speaker is correct. Severe addiction makes rational decision making physiologically impossible, eventually. The nerve pathways to accomplish it aren’t there, anymore. They can’t regenerate, but they are replaced with new ones, in recovery. This process takes one to three years, which is why relapse in early recovery is so common. This inability to retrieve and process information not related to trying to avoid a dopamine crash and deficiency is what’s underlying behavior that may look similar to that of people with personality disorders, but it happens far a very different reason. It hurts me to see people with impaired judgment and impulse control being called bad people, bad parents, selfish, narcissistic, etc. It’s actually abusive. It’s like when parents say kids with cognitive disabilities the R-word, or saying people with ADHD are lazy. Disability is one of the criteria for Substance Use Disorder-Severe. SUDs are in the DSM-V, for a reason. It is not a personality disorder, which means its associated behaviors are not a permanent part of a person’s makeup. Most people with SUDs are self-medicating trauma. “Tough love,” or verbal abuse, causes more trauma. This triggers people to use again. People in recovery who stigmatize others for things they do, or did, either didn’t have as severe a case, or have been shamed and labeled, and internalized those messages. To stop using, I had to learn I was not an inherently bad, stupid, or selfish person. If I was, I knew recovery was not possible for me. 3 years seemed like a long time for my brain to heal, but it wasn’t forever, so I decided it was worth it. Yes, decided. I had been sober for a while, before I learned a little about addiction neurobiology, because I had to do UAs or have a prison sentence executed. I don’t know how else people do it, but there are a few ways. If people use high doses of substances long enough, their nerve receptors can wear out from being bombarded with dopamine. They stop getting high, so there is less incentive to use. She ran out of money and needs to get more, or they are incarcerated. A physical condition might make it impossible for them to obtain, or use, the substance. A threat to physical survival may, finally, induce the midbrain (where brain activity takes place, in addiction), which may take a higher priority than getting out of dopamine deficiency. There are ways people quit, but who does and who hasn’t has nothing to do with character. I wish everyone knew this. I hope that, soon, they will! ❤
Jenny is an intelligent and lucid young woman. She finds the right words to describe her addiction which leads to the separation from her children. She is a mother but drugs have always been her life. I hope that she will have moments of happiness and that she will live her life alone without this drug that destroys everything.
Extremely so! If she hasn’t studied addiction neuroscience, she would be good at it. She expressed theoretical principles that have taken people years of research to come to.
I overcame years of heroin addiction and eventually fentanyl addiction so can you. The hardest part is forgiving yourself for destroying your kids, family and friends for years and believing you deserve anything better than shooting up and homelessness. It’s extremely hard but you can do it. You’re not the things you have done. You are worthy of forgiveness and love. We have very similar life stories and I did it, so can you. I will be praying and hoping you realize you are extremely valuable and worthy of happiness. Stay strong, never give up.
Thank you for your insight. Mark and his audience are shining light on this area of human existence. I learn as much from the comments as from Mark's interviews. Thank you.
So true. Substance Use Disorders affect our ability to make good decisions. It doesn’t mean anyone is bad or ungrateful, or uncaring. It means we have a disorder, and need help. We deserve compassionate care, as much as someone who needs any serious condition treated.
The people in my life who call themselves "empaths" abuse/ traumatize their children and spouses, and are completely self- absorbed and self- pitying. I used to call myself that but stopped when I realized this. I learned about boundaries and self- awareness in order to stop taking on other peoples' stuff. Being an "empath" is a real thing, but unfortunately a lot of people who harm and abuse others use it as an excuse, in addition to trying to romanticize themselves as extra special and gifted.
I'm probably empathic. I've worked at an orphanage and saved a life working as a med tech. I'm more codependent than narcissistic. I can always put my self into others place. For me I feel good volunteering also. I do art also. It's good to get out of yourself. I hope she can get well.
The term “empath” is one that a narcissistic person would, logically, be attracted to. It’s self-aggrandizing. It’s awesome that you figured this out, when people around you were saying otherwise. In psychology, there is no such designation. There are people with normal empathy, which is not exceptional. Then, there are people who lack empathy, who would be diagnosed in Cluster B, if it’s severe enough and they meet other diagnostic criteria. I think the fact that empathy is normal makes us all pretty amazing! People tend to assume other people are like us, which is why we are (potentially) vulnerable to people who lack empathy. We don’t, instinctively, expect people not to have it. Of course, if we nurture our empathy, it will grow. That just makes us human. Either most of us are empaths, or none of us are. That’s more comforting, to me, than being exceptional, because it means there are a lot of people who are basically good.
Exactly! In psychology, empathy is normal. Lacking empathy is one criterion for some Cluster B disorders. How cool that you figured that out, with your family members thinking they’re exceptional. People with normal empathy are often targeted by those without it, because humans have a tendency to assume other people are much like we are. It’s hard to imagine not having empathy. It’s possible for any normal person to be taken in by a con. Not all con artists have NPD, either. Some are just desperate.
Jenny, I am a 38 yr old stay at home mom of a 17, 13 & 4 yr old. BUT, I am also a daughter to a homeless drug addict mother. She has chosen to be homeless and I do believe it is from the shame. I was 27 when my mother left I still wait for her to come bacK and meet my kids. I hope you find the strength to go back home. It will be hard but believe me when I tell you no matter how long it's been we are still waiting. Stay safe be strong, god bless.
Thank you Mark, thank you for this interview with Jenny, She explains a lot about how someone with addiction thinks. Very powerful story of a mom who wants to go home, but fears the dope sickness so much , she puts her self through it over & over again. Wishing this young lady the strength to forgive herself enough to make her path home.
From once she said she never fitted into any group ,, then later saying being told she was an empath I understood. Drugs have taken her off her natural path before she understood her abilities and strengths . Soo many do not find themselves and get lost in the confusion of “ growing up” . She never time to truly develop. It is funny but it is someone else that can see what you are .
I lost my beloved dog two days ago and I finally realized what it felt like to want to totally numb my feelings. I understand what these people mean when they say they want to numb their feelings when the sadness, pain and heaviness becomes so overwhelming and unbearable.
Diego- So very sorry for the loss of your beloved pet. I love animals, particularly dogs, far more than I love people. There's nothing worse than losing your animal. They are pure, loving, innocent companions. I know exactly how you feel. My dog, my Mini Girl, was my everything. She passed away in March. I want to be wherever she is. I truly hope and believe that I will see her again someday. Please don't numb your pain. Try to focus on the joy that you had while your pet was alive. It sucks. I know. Nothing worse than what you're feeling right now. And, I'll be real honest with you, it doesn't get easier over time. It just tends to suck a little less. Again, I'm truly sorry for your loss.
Hey Diego I have 2 dogs myself,and I don’t even Want to imagine the feeling when „that day comes“... Still do the walks you used to do with your dog and imagine having him with you.and let it out. You will process the grief. People who numb their emotions only delay that process,they will either die or have to face their emotions at some point. I understand them too,though,but choose a different path,that’s what they would all recommend,believe me. All the best to you,and I feel very sorry for your loss
It does. This drug shuts off the normal desicion making area of the brain and leaves the most primitive part of the brain up to making desicions. This part of the brain is normally only for: Am I burning up or cold? Am I being hurt or not? You know the fight/flight survival desicion making. It LITTERALLY feels like life or death when you think about stopping using. It's terrifying. I'm 39 and been addicted to heroin and fentynl for 20 years. Ive tried everything on earth to break it's spell.... to no avail.
@@DetroitFettyghost Curious. And, I'm NOT being rude, etc. Have you ever tried handing your life over to God (Jesus) ? I'm an older female, & the ONLY thing I've ever seen work in the last 40 - 45 years, has been God. I'm not an addict, etc. I was married to an addict for 30 years, & watched him start with pot, then pills, then crack, & about ten years of snorting heroin. Been in 22 rehabs. The ONLY thing that ever worked is God. I truly hope that you eventually step into a life that will be healthy & positive. 💖
@@k_roc200-32 it’s is but if you’re on drugs… having sex multiple times a day to support that drug, sometimes they may not use condoms or they even break. I doubt a heroin or crack addict is thinking about birth control lol
I feel for every addict because I’m a recovering one. I’ve been clean for 3 years and the reality of it, you’ll never get better unless your REALLY put in the work and STOP blaming / having an excuse for everything that happens in your life. At the end of the day if you don’t want to truly get clean you won’t.
@@kusheran see that’s the problem. You have to be strong enough. No one is going to do it for you. I get that you need support. If I didn’t have the family that I do I’d probably be dead or locked up. But at the end of the day you’re the one with the disease and have to face it alone. I hope it works out for you I truly do. Hope you get what in saying. Not trying to be a dick but…
What about for her? She isnt choosing to not be there for her kids. Its something you never understand til you've been there. She loves her kids with all her heart
Girl, you got this! You have 3 babies that need you. I know you feel like they're good without you or it's too late, but your children need their Momma. It's never too late to be who you want to be. Your interview showed what an empath you are. If only you felt the same about yourself as you do others, you'd be unstoppable ❤
I don’t know if they even do DARE classes anymore but damn they should have just shown these videos instead. This is heart breaking, cause I have been her, and I got lucky and was able to get clean for my kids. It’s not as simple or easy for everyone tho. Sending much love and healing for this beautiful mother 🌙✨🌎
@@jessejames3572 unfortunately though, it isn’t that simple. People have to *learn* healthy behaviours, critical thinking, good parenting skills etc as they grow and mature, and if they’re not taught this (or are in fact abused instead) then how can they be expected to know.- it’s unreasonable to expect the the same behaviours from people who haven’t benefitted from the same privileges (like how to manage healthy inter personal relationships). Better to meet people where they’re at, rather than judge without all the information.
I was hooked on oxycodone for several years i made the concious choice to stop it was either im gonna die or im gonna live im gonna be free or eventually jail my family needs me and i couldnt be selfish and worry about being high all the time..if you say ill always be an addict then thats what youll be you gotta tell yourself no im not and i wont be an addict..hard it is but its not virtually impossible to stop like ive heard people i know say..this lady has the power herself to stop nobody else can stop for you..when you get out of rehab its all up to you the person driving this vessel
I'm not an addict but I know I could've easily been her if only a few aspects of my life and experiences had been different...I believe we all could be her if I'm being honest. I'm also a young parent and while I love my child more than anyone else sometimes I long for another life with more indepence, freedom & less responsibility...but this reminds me of how much I would miss without my child, how empty and devoid of meaning my life would be, I am reminded of how much we need each other and how he has given me my life as much I have given him his.
Then maybe you should have waited, or had no kids at all? Independance, freedom, and less responcibility and kids or pets don't go together right. If you don't think you're ready, don't start it.
@@damnbadger8242 I think you misunderstood what I wrote, friend. Life is not so black and white: a person can feel more than one way about something simultaneously. Life doesn't always go the way we planned "You cannot alter your fate. However, you can rise to meet it.”
She settled down early while watching her friends go down a new modern path. Similar experience but a few of my friends wish they would have settled earlier or at least had a child(ren)
This message is for Mark: You are doing amazing work out there! Been struggling myself for many years and your show has helped me SO MUCH I am currently detoxing while binge-watching this. It's giving me the strength to keep going on to the next day..I appreciate you and what you do and all of those who share.
My daughter will be 7 on Christmas Eve as well. I’ll have 14 years sober on December 23rd. I hope you’re able to get sober and build the life you and your children deserve. I’m so thankful that I made the decision to stop and stay stopped.
If you get addicted to fentanyl might as well go to the funeral home and let the funeral director know your final wishes. Fentanyl is curing drug habits every day by sending people to the grave from OD. I hope the best for her and hopefully she can get off fentanyl before it’s too late. I’m not a drug addict but I have lived in cities where it’s full of heroin/ fentanyl and meth addicts and I personally know people that have passed away from OD so it hits home.
Glad she said she feels comfortable where she's at cause atleast it's honest but as a revocering fentynal addict before I actually truly truly wanted it I just never tried & that's where she is right now she just DOESNT WANT TO STOP YET ... Sucks but it's addiction
Dearest Jenny, your story is not over. This is not how it ends for you. I don’t know how and I can’t know when but I have to tell you that this interview, it’s going to change your course of action, your future and your story. I understand wanting acceptance, validation and support from a man. Mark just gave all of that to you via this space of gentle listening and care. Take it, run with it, use it to fuel change so you too can see the beautiful, articulate, compassionate woman we have all witnessed. I’m #TeamJenny
I was abandoned for drugs by my mom. If it were not for the drugs she would have taken care of us kids. There's not a big enough bow you can put on that to disguise what it was...abandonment. Period! The reason doesn't change the facts. This woman abandoned her children. 💔 I hopes she can find her way back to life before she loses it.
Oh my gosh the way she explains being an empath! My daughter is 13 and is an empath. Thankfully, she understands she is one and she and I have researched a lot about it. She is learning how to recognize what feelings are her own and what feelings are other people's so she can protect herself. But I can see how this gift can turn into a curse as well.
I would agree with that. It is definitely a curse, as well as a blessing. You really have to draw those lines, otherwise you’ll easily get walked all over. I’ve paid heavy prices for putting others first before myself. I continue to do this too….. not an easy one to navigate in life. Especially with this world the way it is.
Jenny, you are such a bright and well spoken young woman. I hope you can get help and get back to being a great mom and whatever else you want to do in life.
I'm really impressed by her intense concentration and focus especially when high. It hurts though to know all that energy is on her failures and tragedies. As it is for all of us addicts. We are addicted to our self hatred. The deadliest addiction. One indigo to another... I see you, sweetie.
She's talking about how it's hard to quit because you'll feel sick for a while. That's not why it's hard. Being sick for a week is not so bad and it's over quick. It's the long haul that's hard. It's when you get bored and complacent and depressed. When u relapse you're long past withdrawal. It's something wrong where u can't remember how to be happy. An addicts brain tricks them, lies to them, indeed.
It is scary how similar my story is to Jenny’s, however I did not ever become addicted to hard drugs or alcohol. I always knew I was very close to being another statistic because of my upbringing, but never really knew HOW close. Hearing Jenny’s story really shows me how close I have always been to that life. Jenny, it took massive amounts of courage to talk about yourself and your life the way you have and I admire and commend you for that. Just remember, empaths are very powerful people and if you ever get to a place where you are ready, I know you can beat your addiction. It will be rough and ugly and uncomfortable and gross at time, but I believe you can push through it because of your power and light you have hidden away deep inside along with all your feelings and emotions that you have as well as the ones you have adopted from others. A good therapist can help you dig them up and help you to process them correctly and let them go. You can also learn how to differentiate YOUR FEELINGS from OTHERS FEELINGS, which I have found to be life changing for me. Good luck honey. I’m sending you good vibes and wish you all the best in your journey and I hope you let your light and power out one day soon.💚
hey jen, i'm in Denver and you said you havn't been here in 3 years. well sweetie fentanyl is now every where!!! it's even in arvada which is kinda mind blowing, the homelessness and fentanyl have completely takin over here! i'm recovering and quit right at the time fetty hit (thank god)! I have never seen anything like this! if people are F'n with a drug that is so strong that H doesn't work for them anymore, whats next people??? I feel like this is going to change things for the worse and be worse then anything anyone has ever seen! it's like driving down a dead end street at 90miles an hour!!!!!!! good luck jenny, im routing for you!
@@DetroitFettyghost I hear you, brother. I'm now on 75m of done, but my true battle was mixing xanys with the methadone. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Then a year and two days ago, my daughter witnessed her freind accidentally shot his best friend. That young man lost his life that night. I was so F'd up I couldn't be there for her when she needed me most! So that night I took what I had left (ofcourse) and slept for the next 3 days. I awoke to a guilt that almost killed me! That day I swore to myself and my daughter that I would never take xanax and never purposely do that again! I think yesterday or tomorrow will be a year since I made that promise and I will never break it! I'm not religious but I feel like something is telling me if I don't care about my loved ones than they will simply take them away.?.? Anyway brother it can be done please remember your joy will return! Don't get me wrong I'm not sober, but it's different now. That day I did make that decision, the dreams cravings almost all of it stopped (at least on the benzos side. This is why I watch SWU every day! This is our virtual na meeting, lol. I hope this helps you my brother. Have a good day and don't beat yourself up!
It's crazy because I went from pain pills straight to raw fentanyl. Never touched heroin in my life. The withdrawals weren't that bad for me and I NEVER nodded off on it. It gave me energy. Thank God I was able to quit. Its crazy it took me getting addicted to fent to want to quit but I couldn't quit the percs. I guess everyone is different.
@@DetroitFettyghost that's not true. I was induced on my suboxone the day after I stopped the fentantl and it didn't throw me into withdrawals. And I wasn't in withdrawals when I started it. It's working for me fine. I've been clean for a year now thanks to subs. I will say the times I did slip up the suboxone didn't block the fent. But I never nodded from fent so maybe I'm just different. It gave me energy.
Fun fact: If you don't want children, there are ways to not have any (say no to your partner, various contraceptives, or even abortion if you are okay with that). I am very understanding when it comes to drug addiction but please don't blame your depression and drug use on your children or the fact that you had them.
She didn't blame the children at all though, she just shared that motherhood was hard for her and that she didn't like it at the time, nothing wrong with that. Motherhood and being a stay-at-home mum are not right for everyone and sometimes you only find out after you try it, like many other things in life. It's also a very well-known fact that there are specific kinds of depression that are triggered precisely by having children, e.g. postpartum depression. Recognizing this does not mean that the children are to blame, just that people sometimes struggle with parenting and that's ok.
@@deliarebaudengo5440 Why have 3 kids before you figure that out though? You cant just say sorry motherhood isnt my thing after having children. She should have stuck it out until the kids were at least 16. She could have got on methadone or something. Sounds like she was just bored with her life, and she knew her husband would take care of the kids so she took off to have fun,
You can do it Jenny!!! Your life will be amazing after you get sober, believe me...I lost everything!! I am coming up on 6 years of sobriety I am rooting for you🙏👊❤
Being a people pleaser for your kids is what it should be in getting off drugs and back being a mom. Being an empath for your kids in how they have been feeling is the best motivation for a true indigo child.
She acts as if having children was the worst thing in her life. No, this what you are doing is the worst thing in your life. All the dreams she feels she wasted by having kids, are the same dreams she is wasting now. The children are the victims and she has a selfish mentality. You have left your kids no responsibilities and you are still not living this dream life you felt having kids held you from. You wanted drugs and you chose drugs. Just say it and own it, don’t blame the innocent children that are suffering from the results of your bad decisions.
@@deliarebaudengo5440 I have sympathy and empathy for every person that Mark has shown on his amazing channel. We are all human and we all fall short in one way or the other. However the way this woman speaks is remotely different to how other mothers suffering to addiction. I wish nothing but the best for her and her children but you cannot blame children who never asked to be born for your shortcomings in life.
@@tajaydestroyerandlesean4419 Mark has interviewed rapists, killers, plenty of dads who abandoned their children and showed no regret whatsoever. And she didn't ever blame the children for her shortcomings in life, she just said she was not comfortable living as a mother at that time. It can happen to anyone, addicted or not.
@@deliarebaudengo5440 judging needs to come back into fashion and so does shame. Judging deadbeat parents is perfectly fine, otherwise ¿what is the difference between the beloved mom on the block who looks after all the kids after school and the drug addict deadbeat mum? If you have no judgement (discernment) they are just the same.
"When i go home, and i see how bad ive hurt my family" *starts crying* Me: *starts crying* I didn't see that one coming, and it hurt. It just sucks to hear and see. I can feel her growing pains. I can feel her regret, thinking it'll never be back to the way it once was. If it was once priceless.. or once amazing and over the moon etc. Anything close to that is pretty damn good. There's so much to salvage that she's not seeing right now ) :
That guilt and shame is what keeps people sick and using. I know I let it keep me sick for far too long. Hopefully she reads some of these comments and can see even strangers have love and compassion for her and it helps her get back to her self and her family.
I don't think she understands how much she is hurting her kids by being selfish as shit. It will scar them for life and they will never get over it. So sad
my initial thoughts of her story was how selfish it is to say you never wanted the kids when you had them but continuing to have children. She's obviously been trading one addiction for another over her lifespan but that's the nature of addiction to be self absorbed
How she described being an empath and how it feels being an empath…👀. I literally paused my breath. It’s as if she has lived in my mind my whole life. So hard to explain. You are worthy! You are loved and needed. God bless 🙏🏽
Payers for her because God is amazing and this strong girl can change . Everybody’s rock-bottom is different . Mine was jail . I was homeless freezing and nothing could change me . Courts sent me to rehab (St. Jude’s) and I found strength Once I got a job and saw that I could do it . I really thought I would never ever be able to live life sober . Been sober now for four years and life is so good ! God gave me a chance and I took it !
The withdrawal keeps so many stuck. Restless leg syndrome was what I couldn't handle I could deal with everything but that I literally wanted to be dead instead of feel that. I kept reminding myself that it's temporary and I won't feel that way forever and I made it. restless leg is what also keeps me sober. It's the worst thing I've ever felt and I do not want to exsperience it ever again.
I relate and it hurts...I'm 22. I have a 15 month old son. When he was was 1 month I overdosed and died. I got clean and got him home and I I just am so miserable...I resent myself and my husband and my child and I dont know how to deal with it all. Sobriety after years of heavy use of heavy drugs and motherhood after unexpected pregnancy in the midst of it all...who knew being sober would cause so much emotional pain and now I'm trying to hold myself together...these videos always get me so emotional and I just want to sit and talk with these souls...we all need someone
Counselling can help.It gives a non judgemental space to voice the feelings and makes for you being a better mom too. Definitely look around for a counsellor💗 Good job on staying clean.Your brain chemicals are very likely still balancing out.Sometimes antidepressants help.Stay strong Mama, it gets better!
That’s why I go to meetings...I can’t afford therapy and I find when I share my problems at a meeting ...the stuck feelings shifts and sometimes after the meeting I call my sponsor and she gives me space to be me! I’m 26 years in recovery and I thank my HP everyday! No matter what ...things always work out! It’s an inside job...no one can get you sober and no one can make you use!
Jenny you are so worth this fight. Please reach for sobriety. Stop beating yourself up constantly. Put the guilt down and allow yourself to learn from those mistakes and grow from them. Sending you so much ❤️
Kind of ironic how she’s complaining about her child hood and how it’s effected her yet she’s doing the exact same thing to her children smh. If ur gonna be a shitty person use protection!!
@Carly Bogaards get over urself , fellow addict here I’m calling it like it is … if she really wanted to get off the dope she could easily get on a maintenance program
When she started speaking about being an empath and placing the worry of the world on her shoulders, I crumbled. Being an empath in a cruel and selfish world is the hardest job anyone can do. It’s a toxic relationship with constantly feeling like you need to be more, listen more, help more… and at the end of the day you are left with an emptiness and void. I hope to see you find yourself and what truly makes you happy in this world. You are so intelligent and have plenty of time to change up your narrative. ♥️
She says she shouldn’t have been a mother so young, well you know what causes it, so why didn’t you protect yourself? So instead you are putting your kids through hell, and almost describe them as burdens. Coming from a woman who can’t have children, your selfish. You take your kids for granted. Get your ass clean, and stay that way. Don’t let your kids grow up feeling the same way you did. You’ve already left them for drugs. Drugs are a choice. Addiction is the consequence from that choice. So, you chose drugs over your family, but cry about it. Take responsibility, get your behind clean, and take care of your kids. You’re being selfish, and unfortunately, your children are now suffering because of what you’re putting them through. It breaks my heart for them. It sounds like you have a great family. Get counseling, go get help. There are tons of people in these comments that have gotten clean.
Dude let's keep it G, you're not a mom. You're not a mother. Saying you love them when you've done nothing to provide for them nor trying to do everything within your ability to get them back in your custody doesn't show love. Youre doing everything a mother doesn't. That's a title you earn, it's not awarded to you when you give birth.. its what you do while you're pregnant, it's what you do when you give birth and after that baby gets brought into this world to take care of you and yours that gives you that title. Other than that, you're just a birth giver.. You abandoning them does nothing that's conducive to their mental and emotional health. Your children come first always or SHOULD come first always. They are our future. Why wouldn't you want to show them what you never got to see as a kid? Do the things that you couldn't? Treat them better than you've been treated? Get off the streets. Get clean. Quit calling other junkies your friends because they're not. They only come around when you got something or have ends to throw down on a sack.
Mark ..thank you for being the sounding board. Your Studio 🎙 is a healing room ...if only for a day. One day at a time people, if only everyone had one talk a day with a positive force.....xo
Jenny don’t repeat the cycle with your kids. You said you think your parents addiction and your dad not showing he cared played a role in your current addiction. Break the cycle if not for you for your children. You can do it. 💪🏼
Children that grow up in drug or alcohol environments become ultra sensitive to other peoples emotions. It is a survival tool to protect them. It becomes harder and harder to know how they are actually feeling and they will constantly seek out safety and comfort and usually turn to drugs and alcohol to cope with the chaos in their brain and the constant anxiety they feel.
Too bad. So caught up is bull. The food thing is a big indication of deep discomfort and self loathing. She is analyzing herself non stop instead of just doing stuff. But she has a good shot to have a decent life. She needs 1 friend who cares. I was successful in rehabbing my girl friend from an eating disorder by basically showing how much I cared. She was 23 and never went back to it. All she needed was someone who really cared 100%. She is in her 50s now and Incredibly healthy and successful.
Withdrawal was hell on earth for me!! That keeps me from ever depending on opiates again. Mark all these interviewees are heroes too me. BC speaking your truth is the first step to some form of healing. Q
Poor thing is spun so bad she won't stop talking long enough to allow a question to be asked & more importantly, she can't see that she loves the dope more than her kids.. Fentanyl is going to kill those children's mother and they'll be in the same cycle if she doesn't wake up. Open your eyes, sweety. You seem so sweet and so full of potential..
She actually does not seem spun or going full throttle in this video really at all.....but is she lost and needs help by all means. It will absolutely kill her leaving her children following in the same cycle. She absolutely is abandoning her kids for drugs. She is.
Saying that one didn't know how bad it (addiction) would get, needs to realize they are giving their power to something external. Using more is not some entity that forces drugs into a body. This isn't happening TO you. You are making that decision. Drugs are inanimate. And object.
I know methadone is not the best answer but it can save your life. It helped me so much. 7 years clean from opioids. I tried so hard to get clean until I entered a methadone program it was impossible.
I don’t know, I just can’t relate. I approached motherhood with a profound understanding that, I’ve chosen to bring a tiny innocent and helpless Angel into the world and from that moment on my life is not just all about me, my first obligation is to be there to love, care for, and protect my children and I no longer have a right to choose to use drugs, alcohol or any other selfish indulgence, I gave that choice up whenever I chose motherhood. I too am an empath, and that’s not an excuse. The first misconception People tend to have is that life is supposed to be a happy fun loving hayride that doesn’t ever hurt or cause obstacles, stress, or pain. This was never promised to any human being.
I have no sympathy for her atall. As someone with an opiate addiction if you want to stop using it’s not the end of the world with subutex or methadone , at this point she is just being selfish and a terrible person , I feel for her kids
With methadone a person can live a normal life but some people just need that kick from shooting up, it seems. But if you really want to stop, for your kids f.e., you can with the help of methadone, for sure.
@@MarkGelderland I agree it will be hard to get away from that aspect but at the end of the day if she’s not dope sick she has to make the effort and resist the temptation
Jenny, you are a beautiful soul. I'm truly touched to hear your words. I want you to know from someone who has felt alone a lot of the time, you are not alone. The world needs you, strangers like me care about you. If youre reading this, I sincerely wish you the best. Today is the best day to just wake up and start over. People easily forgive and they understand. It's worth it just to let someone else take the controls for a while to help you get on the right track. We all love you and want to see you shine ❤
I usually am extremely empathetic and I do see her pain and feel for her but the way she talks about her children as if it was a burden is heartbreaking. There are SO many ways to not get pregnant so excuse me if I don’t sympathize with the level of selfishness. She made these choices but her children did not. That’s not love. I do understand that she doesn’t love herself, so how can she love her children but I don’t know..it’s hard to sympathize but that just means I have work to do within myself. Triggering. May God continue to watch over this light and beautiful soul. May she find her path and her peace.
This is so heartbreaking. A classmate of mine passed away from fentanyl overdose (patches) at only 14. FOURTEEEN. This was in 2006 or 07 before fentanyl was a household name
I could really relate on her saying how she would hear someone out and the other person feeling better and she's left feeling drained. It can be hard to Navigate Boundaries when you feel sorry for the other person while people pleasing.
Stop thinking inward !!! Depression is selfishness … poor me … I need this I want this etc etc. Think outward !!! Kids need me. Help others. Keep it up. Keep going. Depression changes when you think outward and stop the poor ole me thinking.
I’m also from the front range, thornton Co. I don’t know why but knowing a local is suffering in this way breaks my heart even more then usual. Jenny, if you see this please don’t give up. Remember it’s all about your brain telling you, you need it. The survival part of your brain freaking out. Once you get past the physical withdrawal it’s literally just your brain throwing a fit. Please keep trying your worth it, your kids are worth it! ❤️
@@a.wanderer5006 It's the same family of opiates, although synthetic. From what I hear, heroin doesn't even get a person off of E any longer, once they cop a fetty habit.
jenny your a beautiful person inside and out. i will be praying for you that god will turn your life around and you will be reunited with your kids and family. you have so much to offer dont let addiction rob that from you. its time to get to living the life you deserve. ill be thinking of you and praying. thanks for sharing your story it really touched me as i myself have had addictions. sobriety is a beautiful thing but alot of work we all can fall weak at times.
Jenny. I think fentanyl is a problem is every state. I live in PA, work as a parole officer and trust me, it’s a problem here. Hoping the best for you that one day you will get the help you need.
24 Heroin overdoses this woman has been blessed to survive through.Hopefully you get well both mentally, physically, and spiritual Lady.Your honesty with this story will effect you and more than many for the greater good rather than them being judged or unable to open up cause the person that they seek advice from doesn't relate or have a deep understanding to the causes and effects and acceptance of the drug abuse.Sadly slot of us are meant to endure the worst in life to then give testimony ,advice,or coaching of which does more good than from those who make a living to solving and finding solution to such and fail some wilingly.✌️ and blessings for VIDA!
I'm glad I got off dope before fentanyl came on so strong. I feel like I dodged a bullet. I'm on methadone for 2 years now. Down to 8 MG. Almost off. I pray I don't fuck up again. My name is also Jennifer and I have 3 kids. I'm a people pleaser/empath too. We have to learn how to not worry about everything we can't control.
I feel so bad for her. I've never been addicted to hard drugs, but I get it. My shrink, who is absolutely a true godsend, told me that the only choice is to walk through the fire. So I hope she keeps walking, and I hope that I do too. We simply just have no other choice. Life is fucking tough. Beautifully tough
People just need more love. Real life situations cause people to malfunction. Spread love to everybody you come in contact with. You might spark change in someone that needs it.
Addicted till age 66, been clean since , over 4 years. Don't give up trying to overcome. One day at a time, face the pain, and don't look back. All things are possible for you
God bless your recovery ❤️
No suboxone or nothing? Ive been on 2 subs a day for about a year. Thinking its time to at least cut back but dont know if I could stop entirely and not go back to benzos or smack. Sort of a two fold problem for me
Good for you. It’s NEVER too late to break free.
@@jamesgilbert91 Nothing. Won't go into the story, but i tried for many years to stop, meeting, cold turkey, never could get hold of it, but never quit trying. Should be dead with waht put myself through. Morning of 104/2017 let's just say i was visited by angel disguised as meth addict. She handed me sobriety chip as she left my home. Made me look in the mirror, and i said "you did this to yourself". At that moment asked God for "little joy". Got honest with myself, follow few steps that were planted in my head at that moment. Vision was given me, that everybody has to start at beginning to become what they want to be, anything is possible if you just keep moving forward. From that moment on, i quit looking back at failures, and believed the addictions never had to happen again. Did go to therapist for 8 months, i was drowning in guilt and shame. Faced that, let it go. If you met me today, you would never believe i ever had addiction let alone it only ended 4 years ago
Proud of your newfound success. ✌🏽
“It’s almost like oxygen, you feel like you have to have it to survive.” Man.
10 years clean here, and a mama to 2. I can’t imagine being apart from my babies. But I have been that person shooting up day after day and so, I am thankful to be sober today. And I’m wishing her the best. I can feel the sadness.
You are not alone.
Congratulations on your sobriety and your beautiful babies.😊👏👏👏❤️
Thats awesome and yeah we all felt that, when that shit is up in your soul and thinking you'll be an addict for the rest of your life how could you possibly live without it. How could you go through life feeling all the feelings and thoughts that were numbed out and repressed. Navigating through daily life without that pick me up, feeling like who we are on drugs is who we truly are. Thats the deep shit. I think about that every day, am I even comfortable with being my true self now that I'm sober. Is this really me, will I like ME? The mental aspect of opiates is far more soul crushing than the physical once you get over the withdrawals and sickness, that's when the real battle begins. I wish her the best of luck though anyone can do it.
Good on you for your 10 years and your two babies! I've been using heroin for 25 years and I had 90 days plus a couple and I just relapsed and have two days clean and I'm sick as fuck and really tired of it all. I have a bed coming up in treatment in two days so I'm scared to death but also very excited.
@@Jakal-pw8yq I'm praying for you. Hang in there.🙏❤️
@@LimoneneDaddy wow, I totally feel all of that….. sober 16 years and still not sure of so many things. But, glad to be sober, I do know that. 💜🙏🏻
I was addicted to meth for 23 years and I'm happy to say I'm over 6 years clean
Well done, mate. That's no mean feat. You are awesome 🙂🌻
Bless you
That is awesome 👏
💐 Congratulations
23 years??! Holy shit. Must have had serious affect to your mental health & psyche. Well done kicking the habit man
She did not hesitate for one second when she responded “lonely” to describe her childhood. So sad.
even so she brought 3 children into the world to go through the same lol
@@AnaFlavia-wr8ii shame on you for judgment.
I really appreciate her being so open about how she felt as a young mom. It's not easy to admit you didn't want to be a parent.
Wow! This woman's story really resonated with me. I felt every emotion in her. Im also a mom of two kids roughly the same age as hers. Jenny if you read this... don't give up hope. Your kids need you and will forgive you. ❤
[Kj3p)+w9
Same, this is my favorite one. Everything about it, I wish she could see how much hope and self worth she has, she's still a mom, just a sick one.
@@catebartley9865. Absolutely! No one chooses drugs over their children.
These mom’s often bail on their children when their unprocessed trauma resurfaces at the time when their child(ren) hit the same milestones they were injured by. It’s all unconscious. I’ve seen it over and over, sadly. I hope this woman gets a chance through recovery to work on her own past so she can stop passing it in to her children. The sins of the mother get passed down too.
WOW! Your last sentence!
You have to forgive your mom!
Listen to Jesse lee Peterson
you worded this perfectly!
It was really hard seeing my kids be 4-6 years old and realizing just how young and innocent I was when somebody stole that from me again and again.
Your comment bears immense truth.
I hope her kids are okay after being stuck with a mom who, really, never gave a single F about them...
Jenny we are rooting for you. When u said u died and were mad that you were saved, that broke me. Your addiction stems from your childhood trauma. Your kids having a mom that died from drug overdose is trauma. It’s possible for them to follow your path in order to heal from their trauma. Please please get help Jenny. Your kids care and want a mom
Or the addiction could have come from neuro-transmitter deficiencies, heavy metal toxicity, infections, and a whole host of other possibilities. Not everyone with childhood trauma becomes a drug addict. So there are always multiple factors at play.
I love how Jenny acknowledged that her addiction and eating disorder are ways for her to control something in her life. Her father not being affectionate wasn't something she could control. Her mother being an addict was something she couldn't control. Her depression was something she couldn't control. This is a really important revelation to make. The only thing is, she's normalized it. She's comfortable where she's at because the control is something she doesn't want to give up. Being comfortable isn't a healthy feeling all the time.
I hope one day, Jenny, you get out of the routine and better yourself. You have self-awareness, it's just executing what you already know.
Putting what you know into action is a hard thing to do. I struggle with it myself.
@@NativeOfTheLand97 Word.
Hi Mackenzie. Perhaps it might be an idea to be a little more mindful of your language if you're going to give, albeit well-intentioned, advice to others whose situation you don't personally understand. Telling someone who has depression and struggles to forgive themself for their past actions (hence, the substance use in the first place. We use to escape, or find reprieve from, some part of our inner or outer world) that you hope they better themselves, might not be super helpful. In the sense that if she already feels unworthy or insufficient, the implications of your words only serve to confirm that belief. Language is powerful.
...And if we could all do stuff just because we consider it to be a "positive life choice", we wouldn't have so many souls struggling with addictions of various kinds, while those around them act as though it shouldn't be so difficult. This makes you feel even more depressed, anxious, inadequate, insufficient and defective, which makes you desperately want to get rid of those harrowing feelings. Enter tried and tested maladaptive coping mechanisms. I've lived this... and truly believe it makes it harder to stop... Just saying... ✌️💙🌻
@@madamswamp8286 I disagree. People need to be reminded of their responsibilities. If we just accept everyone making poor choices, society will collapse. More and more damaged children are born into poverty and despair. When you have children you are responsible for them. You cant just decide you dont like motherhood after having 3 babies. This woman was lucky in that she had a husband who was present. She had both parents and wasnt horribly abused as a child. She could have got on methadone and stayed with her kids. She put her own fun ahead of her children.
@@madamswamp8286 oh shut up . Everyday every hour she is away from her kids In inexcusable. If she wanted to shoot dope on the streets all day long she shouldn’t of got pregnant and just dumped them off at her parents . 0 sympathy
The last thing ANYONE needs is to be kicked when they're already down.
None of you making comments know how much she loves her kids. Your story isn't hers. Yeah, alot of people get clean for their kids... but for others its harder and it's a longer road. I dont judge her. I wish her the best. One STEP at a time Jenny ❤️, thats all you can do right now
WORD.
People take for granted normal brain functioning, and think of it as positive character attributes. Because of how the brain changes, in addiction, people can’t access the higher order thinking and moral reasoning that makes up all of what we consider our better qualities, and could stop them from using. That person is still in there, but people can’t access it because the brain process of addiction (not the substance) destroys pathways to the prefrontal cortex. This happens because the brain signals a survival emergency, and higher order thinking is a luxury, in an emergency. The speaker is correct. Severe addiction makes rational decision making physiologically impossible, eventually. The nerve pathways to accomplish it aren’t there, anymore. They can’t regenerate, but they are replaced with new ones, in recovery. This process takes one to three years, which is why relapse in early recovery is so common. This inability to retrieve and process information not related to trying to avoid a dopamine crash and deficiency is what’s underlying behavior that may look similar to that of people with personality disorders, but it happens far a very different reason. It hurts me to see people with impaired judgment and impulse control being called bad people, bad parents, selfish, narcissistic, etc. It’s actually abusive. It’s like when parents say kids with cognitive disabilities the R-word, or saying people with ADHD are lazy. Disability is one of the criteria for Substance Use Disorder-Severe. SUDs are in the DSM-V, for a reason. It is not a personality disorder, which means its associated behaviors are not a permanent part of a person’s makeup. Most people with SUDs are self-medicating trauma. “Tough love,” or verbal abuse, causes more trauma. This triggers people to use again. People in recovery who stigmatize others for things they do, or did, either didn’t have as severe a case, or have been shamed and labeled, and internalized those messages. To stop using, I had to learn I was not an inherently bad, stupid, or selfish person. If I was, I knew recovery was not possible for me. 3 years seemed like a long time for my brain to heal, but it wasn’t forever, so I decided it was worth it. Yes, decided. I had been sober for a while, before I learned a little about addiction neurobiology, because I had to do UAs or have a prison sentence executed. I don’t know how else people do it, but there are a few ways. If people use high doses of substances long enough, their nerve receptors can wear out from being bombarded with dopamine. They stop getting high, so there is less incentive to use. She ran out of money and needs to get more, or they are incarcerated. A physical condition might make it impossible for them to obtain, or use, the substance. A threat to physical survival may, finally, induce the midbrain (where brain activity takes place, in addiction), which may take a higher priority than getting out of dopamine deficiency. There are ways people quit, but who does and who hasn’t has nothing to do with character. I wish everyone knew this. I hope that, soon, they will! ❤
Jenny is an intelligent and lucid young woman. She finds the right words to describe her addiction which leads to the separation from her children. She is a mother but drugs have always been her life. I hope that she will have moments of happiness and that she will live her life alone without this drug that destroys everything.
Well said✨✨
@@blacksilverchair3315 yes, you
Extremely so! If she hasn’t studied addiction neuroscience, she would be good at it. She expressed theoretical principles that have taken people years of research to come to.
I overcame years of heroin addiction and eventually fentanyl addiction so can you. The hardest part is forgiving yourself for destroying your kids, family and friends for years and believing you deserve anything better than shooting up and homelessness. It’s extremely hard but you can do it. You’re not the things you have done. You are worthy of forgiveness and love. We have very similar life stories and I did it, so can you. I will be praying and hoping you realize you are extremely valuable and worthy of happiness. Stay strong, never give up.
A message of hope. 🙏🏽
Thank you for your insight. Mark and his audience are shining light on this area of human existence. I learn as much from the comments as from Mark's interviews. Thank you.
@@coletteterrasson5350 Thank you for caring enough to try and understand. It’s rare and so important. 💗
So true. Substance Use Disorders affect our ability to make good decisions. It doesn’t mean anyone is bad or ungrateful, or uncaring. It means we have a disorder, and need help. We deserve compassionate care, as much as someone who needs any serious condition treated.
The people in my life who call themselves "empaths" abuse/ traumatize their children and spouses, and are completely self- absorbed and self- pitying. I used to call myself that but stopped when I realized this. I learned about boundaries and self- awareness in order to stop taking on other peoples' stuff. Being an "empath" is a real thing, but unfortunately a lot of people who harm and abuse others use it as an excuse, in addition to trying to romanticize themselves as extra special and gifted.
Finally someone said it. The sure way to tell if someone is a narcissist is if they call themselves an empath.
Sounds like a narcissist under the guise of being an empath.
I'm probably empathic. I've worked at an orphanage and saved a life working as a med tech. I'm more codependent than narcissistic. I can always put my self into others place. For me I feel good volunteering also. I do art also. It's good to get out of yourself. I hope she can get well.
The term “empath” is one that a narcissistic person would, logically, be attracted to. It’s self-aggrandizing. It’s awesome that you figured this out, when people around you were saying otherwise. In psychology, there is no such designation. There are people with normal empathy, which is not exceptional. Then, there are people who lack empathy, who would be diagnosed in Cluster B, if it’s severe enough and they meet other diagnostic criteria. I think the fact that empathy is normal makes us all pretty amazing! People tend to assume other people are like us, which is why we are (potentially) vulnerable to people who lack empathy. We don’t, instinctively, expect people not to have it. Of course, if we nurture our empathy, it will grow. That just makes us human. Either most of us are empaths, or none of us are. That’s more comforting, to me, than being exceptional, because it means there are a lot of people who are basically good.
Exactly! In psychology, empathy is normal. Lacking empathy is one criterion for some Cluster B disorders. How cool that you figured that out, with your family members thinking they’re exceptional. People with normal empathy are often targeted by those without it, because humans have a tendency to assume other people are much like we are. It’s hard to imagine not having empathy. It’s possible for any normal person to be taken in by a con. Not all con artists have NPD, either. Some are just desperate.
Jenny, I am a 38 yr old stay at home mom of a 17, 13 & 4 yr old. BUT, I am also a daughter to a homeless drug addict mother. She has chosen to be homeless and I do believe it is from the shame. I was 27 when my mother left I still wait for her to come bacK and meet my kids. I hope you find the strength to go back home. It will be hard but believe me when I tell you no matter how long it's been we are still waiting. Stay safe be strong, god bless.
Thank you Mark, thank you for this interview with Jenny, She explains a lot about how someone with addiction thinks. Very powerful story of a mom who wants to go home, but fears the dope sickness so much , she puts her self through it over & over again. Wishing this young lady the strength to forgive herself enough to make her path home.
Lots of love for you Jenny from a fellow Foco native, empath and eating disorder survivor 💙💙 you got this!
From once she said she never fitted into any group ,, then later saying being told she was an empath I understood. Drugs have taken her off her natural path before she understood her abilities and strengths . Soo many do not find themselves and get lost in the confusion of “ growing up” . She never time to truly develop. It is funny but it is someone else that can see what you are .
I lost my beloved dog two days ago and I finally realized what it felt like to want to totally numb my feelings. I understand what these people mean when they say they want to numb their feelings when the sadness, pain and heaviness becomes so overwhelming and unbearable.
Poor love. So sorry.x
Diego- So very sorry for the loss of your beloved pet. I love animals, particularly dogs, far more than I love people. There's nothing worse than losing your animal. They are pure, loving, innocent companions. I know exactly how you feel. My dog, my Mini Girl, was my everything. She passed away in March. I want to be wherever she is. I truly hope and believe that I will see her again someday. Please don't numb your pain. Try to focus on the joy that you had while your pet was alive. It sucks. I know. Nothing worse than what you're feeling right now. And, I'll be real honest with you, it doesn't get easier over time. It just tends to suck a little less. Again, I'm truly sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss.😔🙏🏽💖
Hey Diego
I have 2 dogs myself,and I don’t even Want to imagine the feeling when „that day comes“...
Still do the walks you used to do with your dog and imagine having him with you.and let it out.
You will process the grief.
People who numb their emotions only delay that process,they will either die or have to face their emotions at some point.
I understand them too,though,but choose a different path,that’s what they would all recommend,believe me.
All the best to you,and I feel very sorry for your loss
I’m sorry for your loss.
This really shows you how strong trauma and addiction can be. Having 3 children and still not doing whatever it takes in order to see them says alot.
It does. This drug shuts off the normal desicion making area of the brain and leaves the most primitive part of the brain up to making desicions. This part of the brain is normally only for: Am I burning up or cold? Am I being hurt or not? You know the fight/flight survival desicion making. It LITTERALLY feels like life or death when you think about stopping using. It's terrifying. I'm 39 and been addicted to heroin and fentynl for 20 years. Ive tried everything on earth to break it's spell.... to no avail.
Qaaaa78 as ssssssssssssssssss#8ssessl is pa#is aa so uiiaaaaooiossiiiiiiiiiui FFX
@@DetroitFettyghost
Curious. And, I'm NOT being rude, etc. Have you ever tried handing your life over to God (Jesus) ?
I'm an older female, & the ONLY thing I've ever seen work in the last 40 - 45 years, has been God.
I'm not an addict, etc.
I was married to an addict for 30 years, & watched him start with pot, then pills, then crack, & about ten years of snorting heroin.
Been in 22 rehabs.
The ONLY thing that ever worked is God.
I truly hope that you eventually step into a life that will be healthy & positive. 💖
not wanting to be a mother but continuing to have children is selfish
@@k_roc200-32 it’s is but if you’re on drugs… having sex multiple times a day to support that drug, sometimes they may not use condoms or they even break. I doubt a heroin or crack addict is thinking about birth control lol
I feel for every addict because I’m a recovering one. I’ve been clean for 3 years and the reality of it, you’ll never get better unless your REALLY put in the work and STOP blaming / having an excuse for everything that happens in your life. At the end of the day if you don’t want to truly get clean you won’t.
Great on your 3yrs clean! I hope your doing well. Peace
Well said sir, that's the reality.
Facts !
It is not an "I" way of life, but a "we" way of life. I can stop my healing, but I am not powerful enough to make it happen on my own.
@@kusheran see that’s the problem. You have to be strong enough. No one is going to do it for you. I get that you need support. If I didn’t have the family that I do I’d probably be dead or locked up. But at the end of the day you’re the one with the disease and have to face it alone. I hope it works out for you I truly do. Hope you get what in saying. Not trying to be a dick but…
Mark, please come out to Portland. We need help showing how dire the situation is here and what people are going through on the ground/on the streets.
My heart breaks for her children 💔
And her mom.
They will probably end up torturing animals or robbing your neighbours in a few years. No worries.
My heart breaks for her.
What about for her? She isnt choosing to not be there for her kids. Its something you never understand til you've been there. She loves her kids with all her heart
@@Ashleyiza She is choosing it though. Free will - check it out, it will change your life.
Girl, you got this! You have 3 babies that need you. I know you feel like they're good without you or it's too late, but your children need their Momma. It's never too late to be who you want to be. Your interview showed what an empath you are. If only you felt the same about yourself as you do others, you'd be unstoppable ❤
Yaaaas!!! She's amazing.
I don’t know if they even do DARE classes anymore but damn they should have just shown these videos instead. This is heart breaking, cause I have been her, and I got lucky and was able to get clean for my kids. It’s not as simple or easy for everyone tho. Sending much love and healing for this beautiful mother 🌙✨🌎
@@jessejames3572 unfortunately though, it isn’t that simple. People have to *learn* healthy behaviours, critical thinking, good parenting skills etc as they grow and mature, and if they’re not taught this (or are in fact abused instead) then how can they be expected to know.- it’s unreasonable to expect the the same behaviours from people who haven’t benefitted from the same privileges (like how to manage healthy inter personal relationships).
Better to meet people where they’re at, rather than judge without all the information.
Well Done u♥️
@@jessejames3572 lets not judge,please
I was hooked on oxycodone for several years i made the concious choice to stop it was either im gonna die or im gonna live im gonna be free or eventually jail my family needs me and i couldnt be selfish and worry about being high all the time..if you say ill always be an addict then thats what youll be you gotta tell yourself no im not and i wont be an addict..hard it is but its not virtually impossible to stop like ive heard people i know say..this lady has the power herself to stop nobody else can stop for you..when you get out of rehab its all up to you the person driving this vessel
D I won’t do drugs
A won’t have an attitude
R I will respect myself
E I will educate me !
I'm not an addict but I know I could've easily been her if only a few aspects of my life and experiences had been different...I believe we all could be her if I'm being honest. I'm also a young parent and while I love my child more than anyone else sometimes I long for another life with more indepence, freedom & less responsibility...but this reminds me of how much I would miss without my child, how empty and devoid of meaning my life would be, I am reminded of how much we need each other and how he has given me my life as much I have given him his.
Thank everyone so
Then maybe you should have waited, or had no kids at all? Independance, freedom, and less responcibility and kids or pets don't go together right. If you don't think you're ready, don't start it.
@@damnbadger8242 I think you misunderstood what I wrote, friend. Life is not so black and white: a person can feel more than one way about something simultaneously. Life doesn't always go the way we planned "You cannot alter your fate. However, you can rise to meet it.”
I understand that raising her children is not what she wanted to do with her life but this can’t be what she wanted instead.
a very selfish statement considering she had 3 kids. I bet that makes her kids feel like crap hearing her say she didn't want to be a mother
@@jessejames3572 agreed
She settled down early while watching her friends go down a new modern path. Similar experience but a few of my friends wish they would have settled earlier or at least had a child(ren)
I love ice cream sandwiches!
This message is for Mark: You are doing amazing work out there! Been struggling myself for many years and your show has helped me SO MUCH I am currently detoxing while binge-watching this. It's giving me the strength to keep going on to the next day..I appreciate you and what you do and all of those who share.
I’ve done the same thing, and I agree! SWU let me know I am not alone in these experiences. Hang in there! I believe in you. ❤
My daughter will be 7 on Christmas Eve as well. I’ll have 14 years sober on December 23rd. I hope you’re able to get sober and build the life you and your children deserve. I’m so thankful that I made the decision to stop and stay stopped.
Her honesty is amazing, I will be praying for her she deserves recovery.
Jenny is really intelligent and articulate. She is beautiful inside and out.
Very beautiful woman 💕🥰🥰
What if it was a man who said he did not want his children and chose drugs over them?
@@b1k2q34. I’d be sad that he was lied to, and internalized it. No one chooses to have a substance use disorder.
“He thought he was being helpful when is was just hurtful” WOW....
I’m rooting for you and sending love !!
If you get addicted to fentanyl might as well go to the funeral home and let the funeral director know your final wishes. Fentanyl is curing drug habits every day by sending people to the grave from OD. I hope the best for her and hopefully she can get off fentanyl before it’s too late. I’m not a drug addict but I have lived in cities where it’s full of heroin/ fentanyl and meth addicts and I personally know people that have passed away from OD so it hits home.
Glad she said she feels comfortable where she's at cause atleast it's honest but as a revocering fentynal addict before I actually truly truly wanted it I just never tried & that's where she is right now she just DOESNT WANT TO STOP YET ... Sucks but it's addiction
Dearest Jenny, your story is not over. This is not how it ends for you. I don’t know how and I can’t know when but I have to tell you that this interview, it’s going to change your course of action, your future and your story. I understand wanting acceptance, validation and support from a man. Mark just gave all of that to you via this space of gentle listening and care. Take it, run with it, use it to fuel change so you too can see the beautiful, articulate, compassionate woman we have all witnessed. I’m #TeamJenny
I was abandoned for drugs by my mom. If it were not for the drugs she would have taken care of us kids. There's not a big enough bow you can put on that to disguise what it was...abandonment. Period! The reason doesn't change the facts. This woman abandoned her children. 💔 I hopes she can find her way back to life before she loses it.
Gorgeous eyes. Such a lovely person. Rooting for her full recovery and hopeful that she can get back to her family someday.
Oh my gosh the way she explains being an empath! My daughter is 13 and is an empath. Thankfully, she understands she is one and she and I have researched a lot about it. She is learning how to recognize what feelings are her own and what feelings are other people's so she can protect herself. But I can see how this gift can turn into a curse as well.
Thats so awesome your daughter is aware it’s a very great trait when you truly understand when to draw the line!
I would agree with that. It is definitely a curse, as well as a blessing. You really have to draw those lines, otherwise you’ll easily get walked all over.
I’ve paid heavy prices for putting others first before myself. I continue to do this too….. not an easy one to navigate in life. Especially with this world the way it is.
This comment can possibly help others to seek information on doing that for there own well being.
An "empath" doesn't abandon their children.
The hypocrisy of that claim is breathtaking.
@@lilaworley8935 drugs can really fuck a person up. If you haven’t walked 1 second in her shoes, don’t judge her.
Jenny, you are such a bright and well spoken young woman. I hope you can get help and get back to being a great mom and whatever else you want to do in life.
I'm really impressed by her intense concentration and focus especially when high. It hurts though to know all that energy is on her failures and tragedies. As it is for all of us addicts. We are addicted to our self hatred. The deadliest addiction. One indigo to another... I see you, sweetie.
She's talking about how it's hard to quit because you'll feel sick for a while. That's not why it's hard. Being sick for a week is not so bad and it's over quick. It's the long haul that's hard. It's when you get bored and complacent and depressed. When u relapse you're long past withdrawal. It's something wrong where u can't remember how to be happy. An addicts brain tricks them, lies to them, indeed.
Jenny, you are enough! You can do this. Your kids need you, too. Please get help!
It is scary how similar my story is to Jenny’s, however I did not ever become addicted to hard drugs or alcohol. I always knew I was very close to being another statistic because of my upbringing, but never really knew HOW close. Hearing Jenny’s story really shows me how close I have always been to that life. Jenny, it took massive amounts of courage to talk about yourself and your life the way you have and I admire and commend you for that. Just remember, empaths are very powerful people and if you ever get to a place where you are ready, I know you can beat your addiction. It will be rough and ugly and uncomfortable and gross at time, but I believe you can push through it because of your power and light you have hidden away deep inside along with all your feelings and emotions that you have as well as the ones you have adopted from others. A good therapist can help you dig them up and help you to process them correctly and let them go. You can also learn how to differentiate YOUR FEELINGS from OTHERS FEELINGS, which I have found to be life changing for me. Good luck honey. I’m sending you good vibes and wish you all the best in your journey and I hope you let your light and power out one day soon.💚
hey jen, i'm in Denver and you said you havn't been here in 3 years. well sweetie fentanyl is now every where!!! it's even in arvada which is kinda mind blowing, the homelessness and fentanyl have completely takin over here! i'm recovering and quit right at the time fetty hit (thank god)! I have never seen anything like this! if people are F'n with a drug that is so strong that H doesn't work for them anymore, whats next people??? I feel like this is going to change things for the worse and be worse then anything anyone has ever seen! it's like driving down a dead end street at 90miles an hour!!!!!!! good luck jenny, im routing for you!
The Devil is everywhere.......avoid him at all costs.
@@DetroitFettyghost Bernese method works for fentanyl . No excuses
@@DetroitFettyghost I hear you, brother. I'm now on 75m of done, but my true battle was mixing xanys with the methadone. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Then a year and two days ago, my daughter witnessed her freind accidentally shot his best friend. That young man lost his life that night. I was so F'd up I couldn't be there for her when she needed me most! So that night I took what I had left (ofcourse) and slept for the next 3 days. I awoke to a guilt that almost killed me! That day I swore to myself and my daughter that I would never take xanax and never purposely do that again! I think yesterday or tomorrow will be a year since I made that promise and I will never break it! I'm not religious but I feel like something is telling me if I don't care about my loved ones than they will simply take them away.?.? Anyway brother it can be done please remember your joy will return! Don't get me wrong I'm not sober, but it's different now. That day I did make that decision, the dreams cravings almost all of it stopped (at least on the benzos side. This is why I watch SWU every day! This is our virtual na meeting, lol. I hope this helps you my brother. Have a good day and don't beat yourself up!
It's crazy because I went from pain pills straight to raw fentanyl. Never touched heroin in my life. The withdrawals weren't that bad for me and I NEVER nodded off on it. It gave me energy. Thank God I was able to quit. Its crazy it took me getting addicted to fent to want to quit but I couldn't quit the percs. I guess everyone is different.
@@DetroitFettyghost that's not true. I was induced on my suboxone the day after I stopped the fentantl and it didn't throw me into withdrawals. And I wasn't in withdrawals when I started it. It's working for me fine. I've been clean for a year now thanks to subs. I will say the times I did slip up the suboxone didn't block the fent. But I never nodded from fent so maybe I'm just different. It gave me energy.
Fun fact: If you don't want children, there are ways to not have any (say no to your partner, various contraceptives, or even abortion if you are okay with that). I am very understanding when it comes to drug addiction but please don't blame your depression and drug use on your children or the fact that you had them.
You might be correct, but you are also very cold! Please don't kick someone when they are already down. Just another fun fact, happy Thanksgiving.
She didn't blame the children at all though, she just shared that motherhood was hard for her and that she didn't like it at the time, nothing wrong with that. Motherhood and being a stay-at-home mum are not right for everyone and sometimes you only find out after you try it, like many other things in life. It's also a very well-known fact that there are specific kinds of depression that are triggered precisely by having children, e.g. postpartum depression. Recognizing this does not mean that the children are to blame, just that people sometimes struggle with parenting and that's ok.
@@deliarebaudengo5440 Why have 3 kids before you figure that out though? You cant just say sorry motherhood isnt my thing after having children. She should have stuck it out until the kids were at least 16. She could have got on methadone or something. Sounds like she was just bored with her life, and she knew her husband would take care of the kids so she took off to have fun,
@@tubester4567 it's so easy to judge
@@Kerry-ft2zf Easiest thing in the world. But only when you are judging others, of course.
You can do it Jenny!!!
Your life will be amazing after you get sober, believe me...I lost everything!!
I am coming up on 6 years of sobriety
I am rooting for you🙏👊❤
Being a people pleaser for your kids is what it should be in getting off drugs and back being a mom. Being an empath for your kids in how they have been feeling is the best motivation for a true indigo child.
She acts as if having children was the worst thing in her life. No, this what you are doing is the worst thing in your life. All the dreams she feels she wasted by having kids, are the same dreams she is wasting now. The children are the victims and she has a selfish mentality. You have left your kids no responsibilities and you are still not living this dream life you felt having kids held you from. You wanted drugs and you chose drugs. Just say it and own it, don’t blame the innocent children that are suffering from the results of your bad decisions.
It's so easy to judge but you don't know her truth
@@CasperInkyMagoo You obviously will not stop judging her after she's dead, either. Guess that makes you feel good somehow.
@@deliarebaudengo5440 I have sympathy and empathy for every person that Mark has shown on his amazing channel. We are all human and we all fall short in one way or the other. However the way this woman speaks is remotely different to how other mothers suffering to addiction. I wish nothing but the best for her and her children but you cannot blame children who never asked to be born for your shortcomings in life.
@@tajaydestroyerandlesean4419 Mark has interviewed rapists, killers, plenty of dads who abandoned their children and showed no regret whatsoever. And she didn't ever blame the children for her shortcomings in life, she just said she was not comfortable living as a mother at that time. It can happen to anyone, addicted or not.
@@deliarebaudengo5440 judging needs to come back into fashion and so does shame. Judging deadbeat parents is perfectly fine, otherwise ¿what is the difference between the beloved mom on the block who looks after all the kids after school and the drug addict deadbeat mum? If you have no judgement (discernment) they are just the same.
"When i go home, and i see how bad ive hurt my family"
*starts crying*
Me: *starts crying*
I didn't see that one coming, and it hurt. It just sucks to hear and see. I can feel her growing pains. I can feel her regret, thinking it'll never be back to the way it once was. If it was once priceless.. or once amazing and over the moon etc. Anything close to that is pretty damn good. There's so much to salvage that she's not seeing right now ) :
That guilt and shame is what keeps people sick and using. I know I let it keep me sick for far too long. Hopefully she reads some of these comments and can see even strangers have love and compassion for her and it helps her get back to her self and her family.
God bless you sweet young lady!
@@kristinbeverencallado7827 God bless you too! Thank you!
It’s so sad, it’s a messed up world! One day at a time..
A sure sign someone is an 'empath' 'indigo child' when they have three kids they abandoned to live on the street, dye their hair purple and do drugs.
I don't think she understands how much she is hurting her kids by being selfish as shit. It will scar them for life and they will never get over it. So sad
my initial thoughts of her story was how selfish it is to say you never wanted the kids when you had them but continuing to have children. She's obviously been trading one addiction for another over her lifespan but that's the nature of addiction to be self absorbed
How she described being an empath and how it feels being an empath…👀. I literally paused my breath. It’s as if she has lived in my mind my whole life. So hard to explain. You are worthy! You are loved and needed. God bless 🙏🏽
“I love my kids more than anything in the world.”
Except Fentanyl.
exactly.
That’s not the problem.
Smart ass
u try recovery
I’m 8 years sober 🫡
Such an intelligent, objective, and honest woman. Pulling for you Jenny.
Payers for her because God is amazing and this strong girl can change . Everybody’s rock-bottom is different . Mine was jail . I was homeless freezing and nothing could change me . Courts sent me to rehab (St. Jude’s) and I found strength Once I got a job and saw that I could do it . I really thought I would never ever be able to live life sober . Been sober now for four years and life is so good ! God gave me a chance and I took it !
Jacob.....yayyyy keep going get help if u need it......❤tee
She has so much potential & is a really good human being. I wish I could help her. I can imagine her being such good mother to her kids one day
My prayers are with Jenny and her recovery and her Beautiful
Family 🙏🏽
The withdrawal keeps so many stuck. Restless leg syndrome was what I couldn't handle I could deal with everything but that I literally wanted to be dead instead of feel that. I kept reminding myself that it's temporary and I won't feel that way forever and I made it. restless leg is what also keeps me sober. It's the worst thing I've ever felt and I do not want to exsperience it ever again.
CBS oil helped with restless leg syndrome .. best would be be medically managed w/d
I relate and it hurts...I'm 22. I have a 15 month old son. When he was was 1 month I overdosed and died. I got clean and got him home and I I just am so miserable...I resent myself and my husband and my child and I dont know how to deal with it all. Sobriety after years of heavy use of heavy drugs and motherhood after unexpected pregnancy in the midst of it all...who knew being sober would cause so much emotional pain and now I'm trying to hold myself together...these videos always get me so emotional and I just want to sit and talk with these souls...we all need someone
Counselling can help.It gives a non judgemental space to voice the feelings and makes for you being a better mom too. Definitely look around for a counsellor💗
Good job on staying clean.Your brain chemicals are very likely still balancing out.Sometimes antidepressants help.Stay strong Mama, it gets better!
That’s why I go to meetings...I can’t afford therapy and I find when I share my problems at a meeting ...the stuck feelings shifts and sometimes after the meeting I call my sponsor and she gives me space to be me! I’m 26 years in recovery and I thank my HP everyday! No matter what ...things always work out! It’s an inside job...no one can get you sober and no one can make you use!
Good luck, I hope things get better for you.
I wish you the best
Reach out to every possible resource you can get your hands on! You deserve it, your son deserves it, and so does your husband. You can do this!! ❤
Jenny you are so worth this fight. Please reach for sobriety. Stop beating yourself up constantly. Put the guilt down and allow yourself to learn from those mistakes and grow from them. Sending you so much ❤️
Mark. I like that you’re engaging more with the people. ❤️😊
Hard to feel sorry for the edgy hipster chasing parties. Self pity is strong in this one
Kind of ironic how she’s complaining about her child hood and how it’s effected her yet she’s doing the exact same thing to her children smh. If ur gonna be a shitty person use protection!!
@Carly Bogaards get over urself , fellow addict here I’m calling it like it is … if she really wanted to get off the dope she could easily get on a maintenance program
@Carly Bogaards no, deadbeat parents are.
When she started speaking about being an empath and placing the worry of the world on her shoulders, I crumbled. Being an empath in a cruel and selfish world is the hardest job anyone can do. It’s a toxic relationship with constantly feeling like you need to be more, listen more, help more… and at the end of the day you are left with an emptiness and void. I hope to see you find yourself and what truly makes you happy in this world. You are so intelligent and have plenty of time to change up your narrative. ♥️
She says she shouldn’t have been a mother so young, well you know what causes it, so why didn’t you protect yourself? So instead you are putting your kids through hell, and almost describe them as burdens. Coming from a woman who can’t have children, your selfish. You take your kids for granted. Get your ass clean, and stay that way. Don’t let your kids grow up feeling the same way you did. You’ve already left them for drugs. Drugs are a choice. Addiction is the consequence from that choice. So, you chose drugs over your family, but cry about it. Take responsibility, get your behind clean, and take care of your kids. You’re being selfish, and unfortunately, your children are now suffering because of what you’re putting them through. It breaks my heart for them. It sounds like you have a great family. Get counseling, go get help. There are tons of people in these comments that have gotten clean.
Dude let's keep it G, you're not a mom. You're not a mother. Saying you love them when you've done nothing to provide for them nor trying to do everything within your ability to get them back in your custody doesn't show love. Youre doing everything a mother doesn't. That's a title you earn, it's not awarded to you when you give birth.. its what you do while you're pregnant, it's what you do when you give birth and after that baby gets brought into this world to take care of you and yours that gives you that title. Other than that, you're just a birth giver.. You abandoning them does nothing that's conducive to their mental and emotional health. Your children come first always or SHOULD come first always. They are our future. Why wouldn't you want to show them what you never got to see as a kid? Do the things that you couldn't? Treat them better than you've been treated? Get off the streets. Get clean. Quit calling other junkies your friends because they're not. They only come around when you got something or have ends to throw down on a sack.
Agreed
This!
Agreed. Say it louder for the people in the back!
Mark ..thank you for being the sounding board. Your Studio 🎙 is a healing room ...if only for a day.
One day at a time people, if only everyone had one talk a day with a positive force.....xo
Jenny don’t repeat the cycle with your kids. You said you think your parents addiction and your dad not showing he cared played a role in your current addiction. Break the cycle if not for you for your children. You can do it. 💪🏼
Children that grow up in drug or alcohol environments become ultra sensitive to other peoples emotions. It is a survival tool to protect them. It becomes harder and harder to know how they are actually feeling and they will constantly seek out safety and comfort and usually turn to drugs and alcohol to cope with the chaos in their brain and the constant anxiety they feel.
Too bad. So caught up is bull. The food thing is a big indication of deep discomfort and self loathing. She is analyzing herself non stop instead of just doing stuff.
But she has a good shot to have a decent life. She needs 1 friend who cares. I was successful in rehabbing my girl friend from an eating disorder by basically showing how much I cared. She was 23 and never went back to it. All she needed was someone who really cared 100%. She is in her 50s now and Incredibly healthy and successful.
Withdrawal was hell on earth for me!! That keeps me from ever depending on opiates again. Mark all these interviewees are heroes too me. BC speaking your truth is the first step to some form of healing. Q
Poor thing is spun so bad she won't stop talking long enough to allow a question to be asked & more importantly, she can't see that she loves the dope more than her kids..
Fentanyl is going to kill those children's mother and they'll be in the same cycle if she doesn't wake up.
Open your eyes, sweety. You seem so sweet and so full of potential..
She actually does not seem spun or going full throttle in this video really at all.....but is she lost and needs help by all means. It will absolutely kill her leaving her children following in the same cycle. She absolutely is abandoning her kids for drugs. She is.
Saying that one didn't know how bad it (addiction) would get, needs to realize they are giving their power to something external. Using more is not some entity that forces drugs into a body. This isn't happening TO you. You are making that decision. Drugs are inanimate. And object.
I know methadone is not the best answer but it can save your life. It helped me so much. 7 years clean from opioids. I tried so hard to get clean until I entered a methadone program it was impossible.
I don’t know, I just can’t relate. I approached motherhood with a profound understanding that, I’ve chosen to bring a tiny innocent and helpless Angel into the world and from that moment on my life is not just all about me, my first obligation is to be there to love, care for, and protect my children and I no longer have a right to choose to use drugs, alcohol or any other selfish indulgence, I gave that choice up whenever I chose motherhood. I too am an empath, and that’s not an excuse. The first misconception People tend to have is that life is supposed to be a happy fun loving hayride that doesn’t ever hurt or cause obstacles, stress, or pain. This was never promised to any human being.
Right. I agree.
I have no sympathy for her atall. As someone with an opiate addiction if you want to stop using it’s not the end of the world with subutex or methadone , at this point she is just being selfish and a terrible person , I feel for her kids
With methadone a person can live a normal life but some people just need that kick from shooting up, it seems. But if you really want to stop, for your kids f.e., you can with the help of methadone, for sure.
@@MarkGelderland I agree it will be hard to get away from that aspect but at the end of the day if she’s not dope sick she has to make the effort and resist the temptation
I thought the same thing. She could be going to a methadone clinic in any state she wants and live a normal life with her children.
so many lost souls in USA.. here in Finland also is drug users but not that scale..hope her life get turn to better.
Jenny, you are a beautiful soul. I'm truly touched to hear your words. I want you to know from someone who has felt alone a lot of the time, you are not alone. The world needs you, strangers like me care about you. If youre reading this, I sincerely wish you the best. Today is the best day to just wake up and start over. People easily forgive and they understand. It's worth it just to let someone else take the controls for a while to help you get on the right track. We all love you and want to see you shine ❤
I usually am extremely empathetic and I do see her pain and feel for her but the way she talks about her children as if it was a burden is heartbreaking. There are SO many ways to not get pregnant so excuse me if I don’t sympathize with the level of selfishness. She made these choices but her children did not. That’s not love. I do understand that she doesn’t love herself, so how can she love her children but I don’t know..it’s hard to sympathize but that just means I have work to do within myself. Triggering. May God continue to watch over this light and beautiful soul. May she find her path and her peace.
such honesty. such truth.
This is so heartbreaking. A classmate of mine passed away from fentanyl overdose (patches) at only 14. FOURTEEEN. This was in 2006 or 07 before fentanyl was a household name
I feel sorry for her suffering, but bringing 3 children into the world who in the future will have the same problems as her? selfish
I could really relate on her saying how she would hear someone out and the other person feeling better and she's left feeling drained. It can be hard to Navigate Boundaries when you feel sorry for the other person while people pleasing.
Stop thinking inward !!! Depression is selfishness … poor me … I need this I want this etc etc. Think outward !!! Kids need me. Help others. Keep it up. Keep going. Depression changes when you think outward and stop the poor ole me thinking.
I’m also from the front range, thornton Co. I don’t know why but knowing a local is suffering in this way breaks my heart even more then usual. Jenny, if you see this please don’t give up. Remember it’s all about your brain telling you, you need it. The survival part of your brain freaking out. Once you get past the physical withdrawal it’s literally just your brain throwing a fit. Please keep trying your worth it, your kids are worth it! ❤️
This young woman is obviously very intelligent I hope she’s able to turn her life around.
We always said when a person hits bottom with an addiction, they will stop. Well my Doctor told me the other day, that Fentanyl is a 'rolling bottom'.
Every rock bottom has a trap door.
Fentanyl ain't heroin. I doubt many fenty addicts live 3 years. They can OD at any time.
@@a.wanderer5006 It's the same family of opiates, although synthetic. From what I hear, heroin doesn't even get a person off of E any longer, once they cop a fetty habit.
Oh, wow, like a falling Shepard Tone.....
You're an awesome smart person. You can do this Jenny, don't give up. Find your way home
An awesome person?
@@b1k2q34 I say what I mean, and I mean what I say.
You have a great day.
You know, I really enjoyed this video
I just feel like its all excuses. And I am so glad Mark asked her “…using your kids as excuses to use drugs.”
jenny your a beautiful person inside and out. i will be praying for you that god will turn your life around and you will be reunited with your kids and family. you have so much to offer dont let addiction rob that from you. its time to get to living the life you deserve. ill be thinking of you and praying. thanks for sharing your story it really touched me as i myself have had addictions. sobriety is a beautiful thing but alot of work we all can fall weak at times.
Being comfortable with rock bottom is definitely a thing, i have a strange attraction to darkness i try not to feed
I am sending love and light. Please hang in there. I pray you feel you are ready to get sober and be with your kids soon. Please take care.
Jenny. I think fentanyl is a problem is every state. I live in PA, work as a parole officer and trust me, it’s a problem here. Hoping the best for you that one day you will get the help you need.
24 Heroin overdoses this woman has been blessed to survive through.Hopefully you get well both mentally, physically, and spiritual Lady.Your honesty with this story will effect you and more than many for the greater good rather than them being judged or unable to open up cause the person that they seek advice from doesn't relate or have a deep understanding to the causes and effects and acceptance of the drug abuse.Sadly slot of us are meant to endure the worst in life to then give testimony ,advice,or coaching of which does more good than from those who make a living to solving and finding solution to such and fail some wilingly.✌️ and blessings for VIDA!
I'm glad I got off dope before fentanyl came on so strong. I feel like I dodged a bullet. I'm on methadone for 2 years now. Down to 8 MG. Almost off. I pray I don't fuck up again. My name is also Jennifer and I have 3 kids. I'm a people pleaser/empath too. We have to learn how to not worry about everything we can't control.
I feel so bad for her. I've never been addicted to hard drugs, but I get it. My shrink, who is absolutely a true godsend, told me that the only choice is to walk through the fire. So I hope she keeps walking, and I hope that I do too. We simply just have no other choice. Life is fucking tough. Beautifully tough
Thank you for the interview
People just need more love. Real life situations cause people to malfunction. Spread love to everybody you come in contact with. You might spark change in someone that needs it.
It seems Drug addicts need therapy to work through their issues before they move on to a healthy recovery.
Some people just chose this life She is a prime example
Love these interviews