#SIMINTHECITY

A week before my boyfriend’s mom’s birthday, I declined her request for a pop up visit at our house. I haven’t always been the best at setting boundaries in the past, but what has made it easier for me is my boyfriend’s consistent support of my feelings even when he doesn’t understand or completely agree with them. I was a little nervous about how she would take my “no” but I was pleasantly surprised to find she was understanding, honest about being a little upset at first, but later recognizing this had everything to do with me and nothing against her.
We had so much fun this day cooking together, eating together and playing games and I can’t wait for our family’s next visit as we get closer to baby’s delivery date.
Here are my top tips for a better relationship with your partner’s friends and parents:
1. Create a safe space for communication with your partner: one where you are both clear that your feelings are an expression of you and not a mechanism against others. Hearing each other outside of your own perspectives is the first step to being able to effectively advocate for each other.
2. Keep the same energy you have with your partner even when your partner isn’t around. If you give your friend’s and family room to disrespect your partner, don’t be surprised if they take it.
3. Be open to change. Sometimes your boundary has to be broken. Hear me out: boundaries are meant to keep you safe and protected, but as you find community who prioritizes your safety and protection, some walls will need to come down on both ends. (Heavy on *SOME*)
Tell me about some of the ways you work through partnership and community in the comments!