Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
The truth is that some people are just not 50-year marriage material. Some people can't handle the monotony of a 50-year marriage. A lot of people don't have the emotional and psychological stability for a 50-year marriage. Some people need constant novelty, stimulation and change.
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, I wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash
Relationships are hard, but I've learned that there's always a way to fix things. Five years ago, my husband and I were facing divorce because of problems in our marriage, but we managed to resolve them. It was challenging, but we survived.
She asked me to go for counseling, but I have to take responsibility for everything, I couldn't agree to things I didn't do, like all her childhood abuse which she didn't heal from. I didn't make her a violent alcoholic.... This was a hidden behaviour for most of my 21 years. Drank when I was away at work. Regret and self judgment has robbed me of many years with my children. A lot of Women don't like a man who care, and are dedicated to his family. I marriage ended long, very long before it actually take effect physically. I was holding on at straws, for the sake of my children. My marriage ended because of Hypergamy......
@@yomismo1888the seek for the next high- tingles, validation, impunity from Chad or Saudi prince. That is why it is easy to date and wed a woman when the men pays for everything but hard to live day to day.
Thank you for a thoughtful and articulate session. Better than I received over the years from "professional" therapists whom only suggested "understanding" and "improvement". I tried and finally got a letter from her attorney with threats of court and throwing me out of my house. Maybe you should do a session of cheating and divorce. How do you ever rebuild with a wife who cheats for years with another person - has no regrets - only stops when she was threatened by our children to cut her out of the family. Double downs on criticisms, hate and expresses wishes you were dead. Congratulations to the smart couples that can rebuild but nothing will work if only one partner tries. It's impossible to rebuild if you are alone. We brothers in this has to accept and rebuild one thing-- ourselves.
30yrs later l still regret not knowing then what I do now. I'll never let another woman control me to the point l feel helpless without her. Sadly the guy she was seeing she married & he is still living in my hell, poor guy.
I'm going through this now. I got angry and said somethings I shouldve have said a few times and she's had enough. I still want to work through this an vow never to do it again after a few times of saying things I do not mean. I wish I could take it all back. I tend to not think before I speak out of anger and it damaged her she said. I wish I would have ran into your videos sooner to help. I need to make changes and not just say I am,
I'm glad it was helpful, thank you for watching and commenting. And I know about the hair... I'm down on the coast in Oaxaca right now to be with my husband while he opens a restaurant and the humidity is crazy 😂
@@jb5313 Just found out my soon to be x moved on with a new man. Lied to me to keep me hanging on I went through her stuff and found a pair of panties with his name on them. Called her out on it and she said it was a joke! I said your the joke. Karma will strike her badly!!
my wife cheated on me and her only comment "she had no regrets". Never got one piece of explanation. But all those who cheat a word of advise - don't use your cellphone - it tells you exactly where you are by the tower it pings off. That's just how cold she was - could care less that she was out of town with another man. By the way - if I heard how many times I was called the narcissist - don;t they know that cheating is a totally narcissistic act! Best of luck
I now realize what was happening to me while married and what might have helped to push her away. I feel extremely sad but relieved at the same time. My depression was at peaks at times, and it was extremely difficult for me to open up to her, so I avoided her instead.
It's easier, short term, to not start turmoil in the marriage, but long term you end up paying for it. It's kinda like a snow ball rolling down a hill, it's easiest to deal with at the top.
My ex after loving and knowing her for 35 years came to me want to get married and have a baby all within 6 months she's 49. So I Married her because I loved her then she started acting funny and ghosting me. Threaten me with divorce 19 times but yet never filed. She still has some of my stuff won't give it back. Stole my stuff out of storage and then took a shirt and folded it in the middle of the floor just to get me going. And then threatened to call the cops on me for stalking her which I never ever did.... this August 6th will be 2 years that we haven't been together..... and you're right about regret I regret ever loving her. We had our arguments but I always took the blame because as a man it's our job to try and fix things but there is just no fixing her. She needs to fix herself
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through all of this. From what you've shared it does sound like she has a lot going on inside of herself that she needs to address and work through. That is not your job. However, it is your job to be curious about your role here - why your brain and your heart held on to love for her for so many years, and why she was the one you felt such love for in the first place? While it is often difficult to reflect on these internal patterns, acknowledging and addressing our own role, which often involves looking at how we learned to give and receive love in childhood and how we see ourselves, can be deeply healing.
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach thank you so very much for reaching out and caring you're absolutely right. I'm doing my best and I'll get there it just takes time. And I know I'm not perfect I just have to go Inward and heal..... again thank you so much
in my experience it is only the first breakup, initiated by the woman, that triggers this in the man - not consecutive breakups? Fix: Write a farewell letter to her, that you do NOT send - since the purpose is to forgive your self, and let go. Focus on your own core values, and put your self in situations that can lead to the next match - once you are ready & know what you like and can express it appropriately. Gratitude for who you are and how you bring value to the world and those you care fore - is much better than regretting a mis-match. Putting in the work that is needed and that you want to do, is necessary everywhere, not just in a job or a marriage, so just do it! Bending over backwards to meet the worlds expectations may not be the right thing to do, unless you are ready to know your desires and limitations, so you can stay true to her and you
Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective. It's really interesting - we all live within our own perspective, and it is easy to forget that what we've seen is not the same as what other people see or experience. For instance, I work with men every single day who hold deep regrets and shame, so I can easily forget that there are many men who don't experience these emotions post divorce. Thank you for the reminder.
Nice Video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life as anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about two years ago, but I could not let her go, so I had to do all I could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back, now we are back together, and I must say I am enjoying every moment...
In the interest of Equity, allow me to help shine a light of what some women do to ruin relationships as well. Women spend thousands of dollars on beauty, make up products and clothing to change themselves into someone they're really not in an effort to attract a good man. When they do find a good man all of that disappears in time. They use less makeup, start to dress down and set about trying to mould and change him into what they want. The intimacy and sex drop off a cliff, so does the communication and respect for him. It's usually a slippery slope from there. The disrespect is the big one, they emasculate men to a point where the men react, now the women is the victim. If they break up her cycle continues. The clothes, the makup etc to attract a good man. But she already had a good man....she blew it too. It's a scenario that plays out in many relationships.
It sounds like you've been pretty badly hurt in your relationship(s), is that right? Is this the scenario you lived through? Do you have a good support system around you as you're healing and finding your path forwards?
Mine left me for another guy, turned out he was a drunk, broke POS. She had to put him on her cellphone plan so she could call him lol. He drove a 15 year old pick up that was 6 different colors, dents all over it, barely ran? He lived with his mother? I started dating my now wife and the first time she saw them together she almost laughed in her face. When we left she said OMG your ex must have a mental problem. I heard from her sister occasionally and their parents hated her new BF and told congratulations you have ruined your life!!! Hahaha. She is alone in a 500 square ft. Apt.
This is awful. It sounds like she is dealing with something very deep and painful, perhaps past trauma that was never treated or resolved... However, you have moved forward into a new marriage it sounds like. How are you feeling moving forward with your life? I'm a little surprised you found yourself watching this video :) Does regret still come up for you in any way?
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
The truth is that some people are just not 50-year marriage material. Some people can't handle the monotony of a 50-year marriage. A lot of people don't have the emotional and psychological stability for a 50-year marriage. Some people need constant novelty, stimulation and change.
Definitelt. Sounds like a prison sentence.
Female instincts without focus are ill suited for the long term.
This is my exactly where I am.....Regret and feeling overwhelmed is my situation.
Divorce is never the way out, My wife and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser, I wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash
Relationships are hard, but I've learned that there's always a way to fix things. Five years ago, my husband and I were facing divorce because of problems in our marriage, but we managed to resolve them. It was challenging, but we survived.
Amazing, I am kind of in a similar situation, how did you handle it?
well not the orthodox way but I was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer
please how can I get in touch with the spiritual adviser?
Her name is Quelani Eileen Freja, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster
She asked me to go for counseling, but I have to take responsibility for everything, I couldn't agree to things I didn't do, like all her childhood abuse which she didn't heal from. I didn't make her a violent alcoholic.... This was a hidden behaviour for most of my 21 years. Drank when I was away at work.
Regret and self judgment has robbed me of many years with my children.
A lot of Women don't like a man who care, and are dedicated to his family.
I marriage ended long, very long before it actually take effect physically. I was holding on at straws, for the sake of my children.
My marriage ended because of Hypergamy......
Could you please explain the hypergamy part of your story? Did she get a better job? A higher status man?
@@yomismo1888the seek for the next high- tingles, validation, impunity from Chad or Saudi prince. That is why it is easy to date and wed a woman when the men pays for everything but hard to live day to day.
Rachel it's like you are reading my mind.
Hi Michael, thanks for watching and commenting. I'm glad this video resonated for you.
Thank you for a thoughtful and articulate session. Better than I received over the years from "professional" therapists whom only suggested "understanding" and "improvement". I tried and finally got a letter from her attorney with threats of court and throwing me out of my house. Maybe you should do a session of cheating and divorce. How do you ever rebuild with a wife who cheats for years with another person - has no regrets - only stops when she was threatened by our children to cut her out of the family. Double downs on criticisms, hate and expresses wishes you were dead. Congratulations to the smart couples that can rebuild but nothing will work if only one partner tries. It's impossible to rebuild if you are alone. We brothers in this has to accept and rebuild one thing-- ourselves.
30yrs later l still regret not knowing then what I do now. I'll never let another woman control me to the point l feel helpless without her. Sadly the guy she was seeing she married & he is still living in my hell, poor guy.
Are you finding yourself able to build healthier relationships now, with the knowledge you have?
I'm going through this now. I got angry and said somethings I shouldve have said a few times and she's had enough. I still want to work through this an vow never to do it again after a few times of saying things I do not mean. I wish I could take it all back. I tend to not think before I speak out of anger and it damaged her she said. I wish I would have ran into your videos sooner to help. I need to make changes and not just say I am,
“Whatever you did … at some point in your life, that strategy was all you had .”
Helpful.
I'm glad that part was helpful. Thanks for watching and being a part of this UA-cam community.
I really needed to hear this right now. Also good hair day Rachael.
I'm glad it was helpful, thank you for watching and commenting. And I know about the hair... I'm down on the coast in Oaxaca right now to be with my husband while he opens a restaurant and the humidity is crazy 😂
My ex is so narcissistic she never even said sorry for cheating on me!
She isn't sorry that's why
@@kat-601 I know she didn't give a crap about anyone except herself. Karma came and kicked her butt lol.
@@jb5313
Just found out my soon to be x moved on with a new man. Lied to me to keep me hanging on I went through her stuff and found a pair of panties with his name on them. Called her out on it and she said it was a joke! I said your the joke. Karma will strike her badly!!
@@jb5313 l had one too, my 1st wife divorced me after 13yrs, few weeks later dating the guy shexs married to now. They all are trash.
my wife cheated on me and her only comment "she had no regrets". Never got one piece of explanation. But all those who cheat a word of advise - don't use your cellphone - it tells you exactly where you are by the tower it pings off. That's just how cold she was - could care less that she was out of town with another man. By the way - if I heard how many times I was called the narcissist - don;t they know that cheating is a totally narcissistic act! Best of luck
Ps get back to me when family court becomes fair and reasonable!!!!!
I now realize what was happening to me while married and what might have helped to push her away. I feel extremely sad but relieved at the same time. My depression was at peaks at times, and it was extremely difficult for me to open up to her, so I avoided her instead.
It's easier, short term, to not start turmoil in the marriage, but long term you end up paying for it. It's kinda like a snow ball rolling down a hill, it's easiest to deal with at the top.
My ex after loving and knowing her for 35 years came to me want to get married and have a baby all within 6 months she's 49. So I Married her because I loved her then she started acting funny and ghosting me. Threaten me with divorce 19 times but yet never filed. She still has some of my stuff won't give it back. Stole my stuff out of storage and then took a shirt and folded it in the middle of the floor just to get me going. And then threatened to call the cops on me for stalking her which I never ever did.... this August 6th will be 2 years that we haven't been together..... and you're right about regret I regret ever loving her. We had our arguments but I always took the blame because as a man it's our job to try and fix things but there is just no fixing her. She needs to fix herself
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through all of this. From what you've shared it does sound like she has a lot going on inside of herself that she needs to address and work through. That is not your job.
However, it is your job to be curious about your role here - why your brain and your heart held on to love for her for so many years, and why she was the one you felt such love for in the first place?
While it is often difficult to reflect on these internal patterns, acknowledging and addressing our own role, which often involves looking at how we learned to give and receive love in childhood and how we see ourselves, can be deeply healing.
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach thank you so very much for reaching out and caring you're absolutely right. I'm doing my best and I'll get there it just takes time. And I know I'm not perfect I just have to go Inward and heal..... again thank you so much
in my experience it is only the first breakup, initiated by the woman, that triggers this in the man - not consecutive breakups? Fix: Write a farewell letter to her, that you do NOT send - since the purpose is to forgive your self, and let go. Focus on your own core values, and put your self in situations that can lead to the next match - once you are ready & know what you like and can express it appropriately.
Gratitude for who you are and how you bring value to the world and those you care fore - is much better than regretting a mis-match. Putting in the work that is needed and that you want to do, is necessary everywhere, not just in a job or a marriage, so just do it!
Bending over backwards to meet the worlds expectations may not be the right thing to do, unless you are ready to know your desires and limitations, so you can stay true to her and you
Thank you so much for the time and the amount of knowledge you pour out for all of us . Your so much appreciated Rachel
All the men I know that are divorced are doing fine. It's the women that are regretful that they initiated divorce
How do you know they regret it?
@@hman2912 mine ex seems fine she asked for the divorce
Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective. It's really interesting - we all live within our own perspective, and it is easy to forget that what we've seen is not the same as what other people see or experience. For instance, I work with men every single day who hold deep regrets and shame, so I can easily forget that there are many men who don't experience these emotions post divorce. Thank you for the reminder.
Not this 1 lol😂
Nice Video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life as anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about two years ago, but I could not let her go, so I had to do all I could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back, now we are back together, and I must say I am enjoying every moment...
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach one.?
In the interest of Equity, allow me to help shine a light of what some women do to ruin relationships as well. Women spend thousands of dollars on beauty, make up products and clothing to change themselves into someone they're really not in an effort to attract a good man. When they do find a good man all of that disappears in time. They use less makeup, start to dress down and set about trying to mould and change him into what they want. The intimacy and sex drop off a cliff, so does the communication and respect for him. It's usually a slippery slope from there. The disrespect is the big one, they emasculate men to a point where the men react, now the women is the victim. If they break up her cycle continues. The clothes, the makup etc to attract a good man. But she already had a good man....she blew it too.
It's a scenario that plays out in many relationships.
It sounds like you've been pretty badly hurt in your relationship(s), is that right? Is this the scenario you lived through?
Do you have a good support system around you as you're healing and finding your path forwards?
@@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Just stating some facts 🙂
Amen to that.
I lived with a woman for 15 years and it was mostly good times but i dont feel bad or lonely now that she left. Is there something wrong with me.
3 month post divorce my ex has moved on to someone else it sucks
Mine left me for another guy, turned out he was a drunk, broke POS. She had to put him on her cellphone plan so she could call him lol. He drove a 15 year old pick up that was 6 different colors, dents all over it, barely ran? He lived with his mother? I started dating my now wife and the first time she saw them together she almost laughed in her face. When we left she said OMG your ex must have a mental problem. I heard from her sister occasionally and their parents hated her new BF and told congratulations you have ruined your life!!! Hahaha. She is alone in a 500 square ft. Apt.
This is awful. It sounds like she is dealing with something very deep and painful, perhaps past trauma that was never treated or resolved...
However, you have moved forward into a new marriage it sounds like. How are you feeling moving forward with your life? I'm a little surprised you found yourself watching this video :) Does regret still come up for you in any way?
@12:46 what creature is that on the tree behind you? Looked like a squirrel 😂
Unheard of that, she is talking to me directly... BUT NOT...
Yes
It seems good people don’t succeed in relationships or life in general so why bother