30 Terms To Know When Dealing With a Narcissist

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  • Опубліковано 24 січ 2025
  • If you would like to speak with a licensed, professional Therapist, please follow this link to BetterHelp betterhelp.go2c...
    If you would like to take advantage of the TalktoDavid service, please visit www.daviddemars.com
    In this video I list 30 Terms that are commonly used when describing Narcissist behavior.
    Thank you for watching and please give this video a like if you liked it. Please subscribe if you would like to see more. Please share this video with someone who could benefit from it.
    1. Narcissus
    2. Narcissistic Supply
    3. Entitlement
    4. Omnipotence
    5. Mirroring
    6. False Self
    7. Inflated Ego
    8. Devaluation
    9. Projection
    10. Deflecting
    11. Blame Shifting
    12. Triangulation
    13. Narcissistic Injury
    14. Narcissistic Rage
    15. Cognitive Dissonance
    16. Splitting
    17. Black & White Thinking
    18. Gaslighting | Video: Gaslight: Inside The Narcissist Mind
    19. Word Salad
    20. Crazy Making
    21. Timelines
    22. Trauma Bond | Video: The Narcissist Mind
    23. Discard | Video: The Discard
    24. Silent Treatment
    25. Grand Finale
    26. Smear Campaign
    27. Flying Monkey | Video: Don't Be A Flying Monkey
    28. No Contact | Video: After The Discard: No Contact
    29. Grey Rock
    30. Hoover | Video: Resist The Hoover
    31. Harem
    Music by Allen Walker, provided by No Copyright Sounds

КОМЕНТАРІ • 320

  • @SM-mc1ti
    @SM-mc1ti 8 років тому +25

    Yes I lost my job, financially in debt crippled with bad health lost my home. Everything ! But one thing I do still have (Which is so so strong and v v imp) My kid's love and respect !

  • @doncojones
    @doncojones 7 років тому +22

    You’re a hero. Your videos are extremely helpful - just blocked my Ex Narc today. NC begins once again...

  • @sheepdoginbozrah4411
    @sheepdoginbozrah4411 7 років тому +21

    CNXG - I found out the narcs can put so much stress on a victim to cause the adult body to develop cystic acne. I have to admit it happened to me. I thought it was adult acne. Not true. So much stress my body I was breaking down. Since I went no contact my face cleared straight up. Just having that shit occur...acne was a horrible thing. Keep up the great information flowin'.

    • @lovelight2919
      @lovelight2919 6 років тому

      23 Psalm and cancer too

    • @grunge_surf_witch_uk9130
      @grunge_surf_witch_uk9130 6 років тому +1

      23 Psalm omg that’s what’s been happening to me... never had acne other than the odd spot but since we live together my skin developed cystic acne! He said he’s leaving soon I’m in limbo.

    • @tonykuli
      @tonykuli 5 років тому

      A lot of stress on the liver

  • @charlief5290
    @charlief5290 8 років тому +17

    Scary accurate. Thanks for restoring what's left of my sanity. My ex used every. Single. One. Thanks again for another excellent vid 💙

  • @Shafries
    @Shafries 8 років тому +21

    I love your videos David, you have an awesome speaking voice and you get your thoughts out well. I like how raw you are too, you don't sugar coat anything. You really know what you're talking about. Keep up the good work.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +2

      shafries85 Thank you so much for your support, I appreciate you!

  • @lightafterdarkness46
    @lightafterdarkness46 8 років тому +26

    One other term you will hear in narcissistic discussion is " mind fuckery" . Basically gas lighting or crazy making. Great vid David good to see ya, keep'em coming.

    • @lightafterdarkness46
      @lightafterdarkness46 8 років тому +3

      Kay 100 oh yeah, that will work also. Definitely feels like my brain has been run though a meat grinder. 😳

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +6

      Light after Darkness Kim loves that one!

    • @lightafterdarkness46
      @lightafterdarkness46 8 років тому +6

      CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend right 😂

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +5

      Ainka Ryan Stop doubting yourself. He is a Narcissist, thank you for sharing.

  • @cforest4281
    @cforest4281 8 років тому +13

    Emotional dysregulation.
    Great video and the one I would add of the many you describe very well is emotional dysregulation. It is self explanatory but people need to understand that it comes from the black and White thinking and the splitting from the narcissist's mind. Your emotional strings are being played like a graph from an audio frequency. They say they love you yet obviously abuse you, you try and please them and they get angry as if you do wrong. They are guilty yet blame you. They idealise you then devalue you(the longer game). They criticise you but they live in a glass house. They even act omnipotent but have fragile egos. They pretend to have compassionate empathy yet have none. They hate someone but act nce to their face. Pretend to help you yet are spreading a smear Campaign. They act nice before a discard. They claim they are generous but only take.They cheat and blame you. They let you do all the work only to take all the credit. They abuse but claim they are the victim. They pretend to love you but have no positive emotions(none whatsoever). They push and pull. They claim they do all the work yet are lazy. It is in fact in everything they do.This contradictory behaviour with increased abuse with gradually less reward is the basis for making a victim addicted to their controlling behaviour and the brainwashing tactics to make a victim submit and lose Control desparately grasping for just a small sign of the good times again. if you have a narc parent it is probable that you have already been conditioned that abuse is love(it doesn't matter if it was physical, psychological or sexual abuse) and meeting the narc will just put you straight back into the fog of impaired decision making, destruction of critical thinking and cognitive dissonence caused by the dysregulation from their black and White mentality. To stop this no Contact and mindfulness is key.

    • @SM-mc1ti
      @SM-mc1ti 8 років тому +2

      chris saint u made many great points here

    • @cforest4281
      @cforest4281 8 років тому +5

      Thanks. I Think understanding this helps predict their behaviour. If they act nice they are plotting evil with your family and friends. Give you something, they are stealing something else etc etc. It is often the literal opposite.Someone wrote that their Young Child described living with a narc was like living in topsy turvy land and that I Think is the best way to put it. Sadly it's a lot more sinister than that..

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +1

      chris saint That is a great one to add. Thank you for helping people know what it is.

    • @cforest4281
      @cforest4281 8 років тому +5

      A mistake I made waas thinking that it would take a long time to dysregulate me again if I had to deal with my X and the truth is it doesn't take long at all.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +5

      chris saint It's pretty much right out the gate.

  • @MrMadvoter1
    @MrMadvoter1 8 років тому +29

    yeah, they leave you right in the middle of life's important episodes.

    • @Mawmawsoffherrocker
      @Mawmawsoffherrocker 4 роки тому

      Mine didn't have the guts to. He waited until I had finished remodeling his house....we got in a huge fight.....he said I hit him in the back and "accidentally " busted my mouth and bruised my face. He didn't even get out of bed to check on me! This was 2 months before we were getting married!!!! How was I supposed to let that little "accident " be ok? Then he moved on 2 months after that!!! Was in a Facebook relationship in DECEMBER!!!!! This has still got my head spinning.....but I'm trying to get better.

  • @gretchenroberson1467
    @gretchenroberson1467 7 років тому +11

    Thanks so much for these videos..I feel I am empowered know so I can go NC and end this madness..you're the best. I'm 65..been married to 2 Narcs and this current relationship, was truly demonic..all 3 of them searched me out..as if they knew I was the perfect victim. This will not happen again.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +2

      Gretchen Roberson Thank you Gretchen, please go no contact as soon as possible. If you need someone to help you please email me
      crazynarcissistxgirlfriend@gmail.com

    • @gretchenroberson1467
      @gretchenroberson1467 7 років тому +4

      Thanks I appreciate your help..I will go NC..promise..will save your email address, thanks so much!!!

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +1

      Gretchen Roberson Thank you Gretchen.

    • @lindadean3374
      @lindadean3374 6 років тому

      Gretchen Roberson....I'm also in my 60's & my 2 Loves were absolute narcissistic fuckers....It got so bad w/ the one I married...I was able to RUN for my mental & emotional well-being..& got away (kids grown & gone..."Time to Leave"..
      BUT.....DammIt...got caught by the most narcissistic abuser...10 yrs.!!!
      But ..w/ the grace of God...I was able to escape to another State...& really implement No Contact..!!
      Now I just feel numb, really wary of falling into another mistake....maybe like you...
      seem to attract Narcs... highly empathic people r like minnows in the Narc shark tank....I'm single & feeling alright about it .
      Now I feel like

    • @TXsungirl
      @TXsungirl 5 років тому

      Sometimes and I did it here lately...I forget to have boundaries cuz I just want to be myself but u cant cuz there are sharks out there. I'm just a nice person who wants to believe people are giving and caring. I feel myself slowly going back to no boundaries and then I get mad at myself for lowering my boundaries esp at work.

  • @rivka26
    @rivka26 6 років тому +2

    I work very close with a narc. I’m here to make sure I know how to protect myself. Thank you!

  • @DSD
    @DSD 8 років тому +23

    Great video again David and a perfect resource for people just starting this process - the lingo is definitely important to validate what we've gone through!

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +5

      Dad Surviving Divorce Thank you Duane, I remember trying to figure it all out, can be confusing. Take care buddy.

  • @Justin-qh8zn
    @Justin-qh8zn 5 років тому +1

    Thanks David. You’re my saviour, I thought I was going mad. It’s lonely out there as no one gets what you’ve been through or going through.

  • @movingon3910
    @movingon3910 7 років тому +1

    You are right. I tried to date afterwards and it does not work. i started a google plus & i went on dating sites i was so desperate to find a way to get over him & to forget everything that happened, that i jumped into more unhealthy relationships its so true how we attract more predators when we lack self love, plus it isnt fair to the other person because your still so wounded & in a way then they become your victim cuz your just trying to be comforted. Bringing the past into the present is not healthy. So i made a personal decision and stopped everything online and face things on my own and process it all. i was recently hoovred back in & i am so thankful that i saw through it this time. its hard to put facts over feelings cuz love blinds you but sometimes you just gotta do that to see the truth.

  • @chelseavandersys9401
    @chelseavandersys9401 8 років тому +9

    Totally off topic, but I love your smile! It's contagious & should happen more.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +1

      Chelsea VanderSys Thank you for making me smile Chelsea! 😃

  • @chemtrailmary
    @chemtrailmary 8 років тому +5

    david just always makes me laugh and laughing sure helps with healing. okay, when he talked about narcissistic rage, he popped his eyeballs out and tried to look like a enraged narc. it was funny. thanks david.

  • @feniksphoenix8026
    @feniksphoenix8026 8 років тому +5

    7:11 after seeing you mimic this, I just know you had to deal with the f*ckers.
    Thank you so much for your videos. They give comfort.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +1

      Feniks Phoenix Thank you so much, take care!

    • @feniksphoenix8026
      @feniksphoenix8026 8 років тому +5

      I will... You too bro... I am a white male from the Netherlands, and you need to know
      that your videos teach and help people in other continents...

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +3

      Feniks Phoenix Thank you Feniks, Proost!

  • @dianesanfilippo6816
    @dianesanfilippo6816 7 років тому +2

    Thank you for this! I am divorcing my narc and I'm scared to death. Every day brings a new set of worries. I wish he would just disappear.

  • @tracylynn6590
    @tracylynn6590 5 років тому +1

    Word Salad- You ask them a question they don't want to answer & they don't want to answer cuz they know they've been caught doing something very wrong most of the time. So they start talking like a politician by not answering the question but instead go off on these long tangents in the hopes that by the time they are done you will be so frustrated you'll drop it & walk away shaking your head wondering wtf just happened Or you forget the question entirely!! My X was a Pro!!

  • @doctorcool29
    @doctorcool29 8 років тому +14

    Thank you so much! You are simply the best.I was trying to understand the term grey rock for a longtime.This is the best and perfect example.Thank you man.You are a world changer!!!

  • @tedbarsby9571
    @tedbarsby9571 3 роки тому

    My goodness. I am going through this now. I moved out 3 months ago but have been going back helping with chores, pets. She is everything you describe. I know I have to go no contact. Our lease which is in my name isn't up till March 1,2022. She is trying her best to get me back and I have actually thought about it. She is a master manipulator who puts everything on me as in everything is my fault. I still love her. This is insane. 😪

  • @greilcook
    @greilcook Рік тому

    My ex did indeed leave me on Christmas Eve. No reason given. Just...done. Until the hoover. I see everything so clearly now, but it's taken me years to get it. So appreciate your videos, David.

  • @lessagrowth6898
    @lessagrowth6898 7 років тому +11

    I'm done👋- I love my peace more.

  • @1313wolfen
    @1313wolfen 8 років тому +3

    Thanks for this video Dave. Info like this is what heps us heal. After the narcissistic shitstorm is over we are usually left with not knowing what the fuck happened. We are often left lost, hurt, and confused. Info like this makes sense of this mess and makes it less foreign. Thanks for helping us all heal with your videos and experience.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +4

      Jeff Delima Thank you Jeff, I think it really helps with validation

  • @googleuser795
    @googleuser795 5 років тому

    David's videos are so respected, must be the smallest percentage dislikes to likes, reflects the quality and honesty of his work

  • @bio3m
    @bio3m 8 років тому +7

    Good video bud. I can only imagine watching this a few years ago when I knew nothing. Id be like OMG SHE DOES ALL OF THIS

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +6

      Nick Bloem And probably more! Thanks Nick.

  • @HARolette28
    @HARolette28 8 років тому +4

    The 3rd person was/is my mother that took his side. He has lived with my mother for 3 years now. How sick is that. Thank you again..

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +2

      Holly Rolette McCaughley Oh my, I am so sorry Holly. I wouldn't talk to her either, that's horrible.

    • @tonykuli
      @tonykuli 5 років тому

      At least now you will be rid of two toxic people interfering in your life.... count your blessings no contact is your prerogative! Have a good life.

  • @lizmcgee1862
    @lizmcgee1862 7 років тому +1

    Came looking for keys to the trapdoor. Narc and me for 29 days more... I think that language is the key and I thank you, David, for verbalizing what I have only begun to explain to myself. hurts so bad and I thought no one could possibly understand. Pretty relieved for the words you put together for me.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому

      Liz McGee Oh thank you Liz, I'm so glad I can help. You will be feeling great soon, I promise.

  • @gtriciamichelle
    @gtriciamichelle 5 років тому

    Hi- I was with someone I loved for 10 years. I thought I was trying to point a finger and name blame when I thought he was narcissistic, then realized that he was text book narcissistic. But then I thought "no, he's trying to change"... Nope same old games, manipulation, gaslighting, created drama. When I left (ugh, for the second and last time), I watched your UA-cam videos just to see IF the narcissist would do everything a narcissist would do, he's fucking textbook. It's actually, funny, however it did a # on me emotionally, mentally. I'm healing, well trying. I appreciate what your doing, for me. I understand you're doing this for many, but for me. My depression is bad, but I'm strong and learning to heal. Because you're validating EVERYTHING I went through. If you want the hear stories of 10 years, I would live to share. Thank you for your work, keep it up. -Tricia

  • @leelabrock4266
    @leelabrock4266 7 років тому +3

    you are so good dave this exactly what I went through

  • @JeskaJane.
    @JeskaJane. 4 місяці тому

    Oh wooooow. He told me he prayed to be the man I needed him to be. That hit weird but I didn’t know why

  • @CelticAngel555
    @CelticAngel555 7 років тому +1

    Thank you CNXG so much for this list. I am hearing things that I can relate to the narcs behaviour. I now know that I was 'mirrored' at times. I am off to listen to the rest. Thank so much ... Its people like you who know a lot about this situation that are helping so many of us to clear the road and stay strong enough to make big changes in our lives. God Bless you. ^j^

  • @Mawmawsoffherrocker
    @Mawmawsoffherrocker 4 роки тому

    I just have to say this.....I really try not to curse ....but I get so tickled when you blast them and don't look for inoffensive words to describe these sickos who screw out heads up!!!! Sounds insane....but that helps me! Thank you!

  • @juliapanese
    @juliapanese 8 років тому +3

    Thank you for your videos! It gives hope and I'm astonished how these evil people are the same. I wish I knew that before and never came close to them.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +4

      Julia Trostyanetskaya Don't we all! It helps us learn so much about ourselves that I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.

  • @aj02517
    @aj02517 8 років тому +2

    Another great Vid thanks Dave.
    My ex narc has had our 2 boys staying at her house of horrors and contacted me to advise me that I need to apply in writing to her to get my boys back!!! I love it. Just when you thought they couldn't get more insane they surprise you.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +3

      Andrew Ferguson Isn't it incredible? I have listened to so many stories now and I am still surprised everytime.

  • @Canttouchthis4710
    @Canttouchthis4710 7 років тому +1

    How could anyone not like this video?

  • @SM-mc1ti
    @SM-mc1ti 8 років тому +8

    Term " Stover ". To be So totally over your narc !! Ha ha ha ha laughed out loud. " I ll go in my break and put the fire out ! " .... my narc ex to the T he has a harem

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +4

      S M Stover ...lol!

    • @SM-mc1ti
      @SM-mc1ti 8 років тому +3

      Kay 100 I learned of this term from a post by Bree Bonchay, LCSW

    • @tonykuli
      @tonykuli 5 років тому

      A harem is like breeding ground for diseases and zombies!

  • @rachelsmith746
    @rachelsmith746 5 років тому

    Every single thing was right on. Really enjoyed this video. Gonna go watch the other ones. I can now tell when he's in a certain 'stage' and dont even let it get to me.

  • @honeywest
    @honeywest 5 років тому

    David DeMars is the best i have ever listened to, knows this subject very well

  • @urszulakucia8087
    @urszulakucia8087 8 років тому +5

    Your help is priceless , thank you

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +3

      Urszula Kucia Your support is great, thank you!

  • @lovelight2919
    @lovelight2919 6 років тому +5

    Here’s an example Tip for all of you... if you want to go skydiving, just tell your narc your scared of heights. And I guarantee you’ll be skydiving very soon!

  • @johannahpatterson6498
    @johannahpatterson6498 8 років тому +1

    I really enjoyed this movie, uh... I mean video....LOL...so cute. Funny and sweet presentation. Made me feel really happy because of you! not just the information. Thanks! Add motherfucker to the list of terms, please, as my narc targeted me to get close to my 12 year old daughter.

  • @A_T_Invincible
    @A_T_Invincible 7 років тому +1

    Hi David!
    I have seen a couple of videos of yours on this topic. I dont know whether I have gone crazy or things what really are. But the fact of the matter now is that I am on the verge of ending my marriage with my husband just because of all the factors you told about narcissists applies to my MIL. Well she doesnt really interacts with me directly but does all what you have said in the video through my husband. And in three years of my marriage , I just failed to make my husband understand the real picture.
    He just somehow believes her for anything she does or says about me. I so cant take this anymore and thinking to move out because i find my husband more at fault than her; ulyimately the relation is ours.
    The only page of difference we have is her and what she has done to me...so its really heartbreaking for me to end this relation... but i have tried all i could..

  • @danihartery-smith1140
    @danihartery-smith1140 8 років тому +6

    Nailed it again as always ❤️ so insightful

  • @LightBumble
    @LightBumble 7 років тому +1

    Well, all people are messed up. Good that you spout it out to us clearly.

  • @MsMay1959
    @MsMay1959 8 років тому +1

    This. Ideo is a great idea David. I know I had to pick up the termanology as I was learning. Words Id never heard used in this context before. This should really help all the newbies out there. And...you are right. Block these narcs at every turn. Dont wait and see if they will make contact. That will be your first mistake. Thanks heaps. :)

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому

      msmay That's what I'm hoping for, thank you!!

  • @josephine42901
    @josephine42901 7 років тому +1

    Great video. You're excellent at describing everything in detail, yet in an easy to understand manner. Just so crazy to think back on everything they did. Thankfully, it's all in the past.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +1

      Josephine Smith Thank you Josephine, keep it in the past!

  • @backialakshmi7615
    @backialakshmi7615 6 років тому +1

    David,you are so great.Thank you very much

  • @Dominiquem0222
    @Dominiquem0222 8 років тому +2

    thank you !! for helping me through everything.. you are the best.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому

      Dominique Martinez Thank you Dominique, you are awesome!

  • @jadeheart911
    @jadeheart911 7 років тому +1

    You are so right on the money!!! Would love find a therapist like you. Im doing really well but sometimes thinking back and going...oh yeah..now I see it! Just wondering how an educated and empathetic woman can be fooled so easily!

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому

      deb vankoughnet Thank you Deb. I'm currently taking new clients if you would like to make an appointment.

  • @curlygirl4640
    @curlygirl4640 3 роки тому

    This was an amazing video. Thanks for the indepth explanations

  • @decoy2636
    @decoy2636 5 років тому

    This is so well explained and although it is almost enough to make me puke,it is the truth and a lot of this I have bestowed and recieved. The truth is beautiful even though I see my ugly soul so clearly now. I am guilty of so much and a victim as well. Pray for my soul as I have silently sliced and diced anyone who acted against me out of jealousy or hate as I a bully none excepted. I did not tell others. If crossed I have caused others to spend money as a means of revenge. I am not going to stop praying for forgiveness. I would have to cease contact with all my immediate family. I dont know a lot but know I must pray for forgiveness.

  • @kolyah22
    @kolyah22 5 років тому

    I remember telling my ex that I felt sorry for her ex and for another guy she spurned coldly, because clearly they cared about her and were hurting. She got pissed at me for feeling sympathy for them, and not solely for her. She said if they still have feelings for her then 'that's their problem' (even though she had been callous and led them on). I explained that more than one person can get hurt in these situations but she didn't get it. This was a red flag I really should have paid more attention to.

  • @sandrabanim2294
    @sandrabanim2294 8 років тому +3

    Thanks David, another great video!

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +2

      Sandra Banim I appreciate you Sandra, thank you.

  • @jainetu
    @jainetu 7 років тому

    The black or white thinking is spot on!

  • @CoreObservation
    @CoreObservation 8 років тому +5

    Great video.

  • @corhinnshow
    @corhinnshow 5 років тому

    I'm so glad I found your videos

  • @dimitras7795
    @dimitras7795 8 років тому +4

    in my opinion best movie (video) so far. thank you .

    • @dimitras7795
      @dimitras7795 8 років тому +3

      and bond! the combination of these two ! they lead immediately to # no contact#

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +4

      Dimitra S LMAO! Thank you, hopefully I get an Oscar!

  • @violetsnow3174
    @violetsnow3174 6 років тому

    You are good so good .It is so through.How could that ever happend to me?

  • @katehague8512
    @katehague8512 7 років тому +1

    Awesome and concise analogy! Very well presented! A little confused in the end with the guys of your ex not liking each other instead of not liking her (your ex). To me, as soon as one person in the duo chooses to step away from a relationship it frees up all those involved to make their own choices. I'm not siding with your former wife. I'm just trying to understand the dynamics. I'm on the other end of the spectrum where I realize I probably have lots in common with my narc's first two ex's. The bottom line is, the women in "his" life and I finally discovered individually for ourselves that first, there is a mask and second, we uncovered the mask. It's semantics as who discarded who, when enough is enough. In the end we probably have a lot in common. Prior to my narc BF of 5 years off and on relationship with the last 3 years consecutively committed, I was with a narc husband for 33 years only to discover through recent online education and research my father was a narc too. Just my thoughts.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +1

      Kate Hague Great thoughts Kate, thank you for sharing. That is a common pattern. We date people who don't meet our emotional needs because our parents didn't. They could be Narcissists, mentally ill, drug addicts, alcoholics, they abandoned or neglected us somehow.
      The end was about how guys around her put up with eachother. They compete for her attention and blame eachother for the situation she created. It's sick, really.

  • @vickymuniz1721
    @vickymuniz1721 8 років тому +2

    thank you for the new video I'm having all of them I am in the process of no contact rule one day at a time right

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +3

      Vicky Muniz That's right. It was your choice to go no contact and it will make you so much stronger in the end. Keep going, it gets so much easier.

  • @joeobiden1774
    @joeobiden1774 4 роки тому

    He is right

  • @donpetruzzi1010
    @donpetruzzi1010 8 років тому +3

    Brilliant work again, David.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +3

      Don Petruzzi Thank you so much Don, appreciate you.

  • @benjaminrwilcox5328
    @benjaminrwilcox5328 5 років тому

    I love your videos man keep raising awareness your doing a great job

  • @cyahna
    @cyahna 8 років тому +1

    Hi David, would you please do a video on Triangulation? This video was awesome, you are doing a fantastic job!

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому

      Cindy Yahna Hello Cindy! Thank you for your comment. I sure will, I have a few to do first but I won't forget, thank you so much.

  • @peterburns7783
    @peterburns7783 6 років тому

    Smart to make a video that is a lexicon or vocabulary of behavior and associations, etc.
    Good channel. Keep it up! ☺

  • @monicahoward7443
    @monicahoward7443 8 років тому +1

    love you David, once again an amazing video. it really helps! Monica (Rome, Italy)

  • @theking.8266
    @theking.8266 7 років тому

    I luv how you give info raw

  • @movingon3910
    @movingon3910 7 років тому +1

    David. first off i want to tell you thank you so much your advice has helped me so much more than you will ever know, even months after us talking, i have stayed single & it has helped me so much to awaken to things, have reflection, become aware & face the truth, in its natural time. and realizing where i have personally went wrong. first question is if you have published your book yet, second if you have any advice on after you have been discarded then recycled. The sighns of being recycled, I have been hoovered back in. I was ghosted, then all of a sudden was LOVED. I am aware that i am being hoovered but i am also aware that i have an addiction to the attention & miss the VALIDATION. Id like to know some real life examples of being recycled besides my own. I am very proud of you & your spot on about facebook, validation, childhood, being an easy target, online dating. so true.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +1

      Moving On Thank you very much for all your support. Signs of being recycled, you've been a victim before and now you are again. Love yourself enough so you don't need anyone. Sharing your life with someone is different than needing someone.

  • @jmartinez7144
    @jmartinez7144 7 років тому +1

    Thanks For Making these videos David, I needed this particular one today. what u said about, having been strong NC and all for an extended period. then you slip;😣 you hear their best love bombing voice and falter, back slide or whatever.its freakin frustrating.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому

      J Martinez Good, glad the video helped. It is so important, the healing process can not begin until you do.

  • @stevet4768
    @stevet4768 5 років тому

    Awesome video David. Question. Why did my narcissist never invite me in over 3 years to hang out with her friends? I think back and just can’t believe the shit I put up with.

  • @SoberIrishman
    @SoberIrishman 5 років тому

    Drank so heavy for 2 months,, i just am now turning it all around slowly, she just moved on and never dealt with any consequences. Back w her ex, beach trips, full family....i am all alone except 3 good friends.

  • @Fiveandime
    @Fiveandime 8 років тому +2

    nice breakdown

  • @eddieeddie4336
    @eddieeddie4336 5 років тому

    Thank you for all your help and knowledge

  • @queentrayce2851
    @queentrayce2851 6 років тому

    great video

  • @kerirhinehart6346
    @kerirhinehart6346 7 років тому +1

    your videos are amazing and so very helpful....thank you for sharing your knowledge!!

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому

      Keri Rhinehart Thank you Keri, I'm glad they help. Please feel free to ask me anything.

    • @kerirhinehart6346
      @kerirhinehart6346 7 років тому +1

      CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend Thank you... there are so many questions... I'm watching all of your videos now and I am having so many ah ha moments!!! Thank you for your response, it's nice to know that someone cares!!!

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +1

      Keri Rhinehart Thank you Keri. Ask me anything.

  • @hanifekacan3465
    @hanifekacan3465 5 років тому

    Great Video,David.
    Thank you!
    Hanife from Germany 😊

  • @radmilarixon8048
    @radmilarixon8048 6 років тому

    Keep up the excellent work that you do....love your videos

  • @silverlining5796
    @silverlining5796 5 років тому

    Thank you David. Great job

  • @christinewilliams7192
    @christinewilliams7192 7 років тому

    This video is very informative and useful to know when you’re looking out for signs of a narcissist. Could you please do a video on harem as I’m interested to know more about this topic.

  • @spirtualsoul1on153
    @spirtualsoul1on153 7 років тому

    Thank you thank you

  • @ChristineDAngel
    @ChristineDAngel 7 років тому +1

    This is my favourite video yet David. Side note, I'd like to see these movie productions of yours lol ;).

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +1

      Christine Lynn Lol! You've seen most of my movies I'm sure! How funny, Thank you!

    • @ChristineDAngel
      @ChristineDAngel 7 років тому +3

      I have! I have a whole lineup of people such as yourself that I subscribe to that help me heal. Everytime I feel down, I educate myself on these fuckers through these videos (yours are my favourite) and it helps me deal as best I can. So Thankyou very much...I enjoy your "movies" lmao ;).

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +2

      Christine Lynn That's perfect, keep going Christine! I love learning about this too. I'm glad to know I could help, thank you.

  • @jameslacroix1028
    @jameslacroix1028 6 років тому

    yes david you got it

  • @jameslacroix1028
    @jameslacroix1028 6 років тому

    the discard happened throughout the relationship with the silent treatments she would be gone for a week or two weekd or three weeks but always try to come back

  • @EnchantedMirrorTarot
    @EnchantedMirrorTarot 8 років тому +6

    Speaking of serotonin I took you advise and I am taking lithium ornate along with 5-htp plus magnesium and b complex I have been feeling so much better. Thank you for that recommendation. I would love to get my hands on some oxytocin.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +1

      Scarlet Sweetwish Thank you Scarlet. Most Physicians are aware of women being low of Oxytocin and should prescribe a one time prescription for you.

    • @susanillich3149
      @susanillich3149 7 років тому +2

      CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend
      Hello and thank you for sharing your wisdom
      Forever grateful
      In no way am I attempting to "tell you how to do your job" but I think it needs to be addressed with absolute cleariyy and more often that there is a baseline in recognizing this mental ilness and the level of abuse rises from that
      it struck me how fortunate I am to have realized something in my relationship was way off and I didnt end up losing everything
      However when I began to reach out and identify the problem and then truly understandit was not me I still had trouble in my new awareness because although I could identify many paterns of behavior as well as verbal patterned use the narcissic I was dealing with had not reached the levels of abuses that I am reading about in many of my fellow survivors accounts
      i guess for awhile I was under some ideology that the abuse and its affects had to be more extreme
      In no way was I making excuses or in denial
      I wrestled with the diagnosis and validity in the earlier stages of my abuse
      I know now if it feels like abuse its abuse
      Im having a difficult time explaining this
      There are levels in this ilness and you dont have to lose yourself or anything else in order to recognize it validate it and eliminate it
      I hope this makes sense and I was hoping you could speak on this part of the illness to help others like myself get out sooner than later
      I didnt expirience half of what some people have and didnt lose nearly as much time and personal belonings work other people etc to know it was
      abuse and who was behind it
      My abuser may never have progressed beyond his current tactics at the time
      it was still abuse
      i hope this helps others and I was clear
      My respects to everyone who is and has survived these people
      Expirience strength and hope
      In that comes wisdom Thanks David
      Susan
      Northern California

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +2

      Susann Illich Valid point, thank you Susan. Yes I will try to stress how important it is to get away before having to lose everything.

  • @SuperBlakes2
    @SuperBlakes2 7 років тому +1

    awesome thanks

  • @rmcgarra7
    @rmcgarra7 8 років тому +2

    my narc was doing the doo doo test on me, we were in his truck and he hit me in the ribs very hard when he would turn a corner and then yell at the truck, saying that the truck was too small.....he pretended that he did not know that he hit me too hard.

  • @amandamathews2154
    @amandamathews2154 5 років тому

    This is so informative thankyou. I was wondering if I could perhaps email on my horrible situation I am in Australia?

  • @metalhead6111
    @metalhead6111 6 років тому +3

    Call each thing by its right name. Speak.

  • @EnchantedMirrorTarot
    @EnchantedMirrorTarot 8 років тому +2

    Yea I lost my job on Pms the day of my discard. He provoked me to be jealous. It was brutal.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +3

      Scarlet Sweetwish I'm sorry Scarlet, sometimes we have to crawl out of the bottom and that's what makes us stronger and not do it again. Thank you for sharing.

  • @alyonabelyakova2820
    @alyonabelyakova2820 8 років тому +1

    David, watching your videos all the time. I sent you the email. your videos are the best. realistic and clear. you great! Hope we can talk sometimes..

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +1

      Alyona Belyakova HI Alyona! I replied to your email.

  • @sheepdoginbozrah4411
    @sheepdoginbozrah4411 7 років тому +5

    The deep stare out into space. Not the death stare. Its like a gaze looking thru you. Looks like day dreaming but more intense. WTF!!!

    • @TXsungirl
      @TXsungirl 5 років тому

      Yeah sometimes they do it during sex. Its weird

  • @fresias4me624
    @fresias4me624 7 років тому

    Smear campaign during my divorce: Narc secretly call my family, my therapist, and my DOCTOR to tell them I was "mentally ill"!! The terrifying thing is that no one told me he was doing this, except my doctor, because he wanted her to violate my confidentiality. It was terrifying, I could have lost my job, custody, friends... sick.

  • @sandradibiaso7316
    @sandradibiaso7316 5 років тому

    They devalue you when you are on to them or when they see that you gained weight or you are just not living up to their ideal mate. They become enraged when you call them names like a creep if you think they are cheating or did cheat on you with a girl their daughter's age or slightly older or slightly younger or much younger - no matter if it is the truth or not.

  • @Jessicaunarex
    @Jessicaunarex 8 років тому +5

    Other terms: Primary Source vs. Secondary Source. It's interesting when they don't have a Primary Source, and so they will target a Secondary, if needed.

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +3

      Jessica S I am not sure why I didn't talk about that. I talk about it so much in other videos. Thank you for bringing it up for others! I hope you're doing good Jessica!

    • @Jessicaunarex
      @Jessicaunarex 8 років тому +3

      Life is keeping me busy. :)

  • @pink5345
    @pink5345 7 років тому +1

    Do you have a video where you discussed how the narc would rather isolate than disappoint? I thought I watched it the other night but can’t find it

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  7 років тому +2

      Tania D Campbell Yes I do Tania, scroll up more and it's titled
      How The Narcissist Isolates You

  • @exwhy7007
    @exwhy7007 Місяць тому

    Leaving a comment to feed the algorithm

  • @kelsupernova9821
    @kelsupernova9821 8 років тому +4

    Your getting good. Forgot Leiutenients and Bottemfeeders. Things are going better. I will start a channel in May. We all need to Unite and spread the message. When we wake up it is something that we have to do. Spread awareness to the world. Your really smart. Later gator. Kel

    • @DeMarsCoaching
      @DeMarsCoaching  8 років тому +3

      Kelly Fink Thank you Kelly! I hope you will take my support and any advice I can give? let me know and please ask me anything.
      crazynarcissistxgirlfriend@gmail.com

  • @michelleobrien7871
    @michelleobrien7871 6 років тому

    Fantastic x

  • @jaesweet
    @jaesweet 8 років тому +2

    Omg so true

  • @sassandsavvy007
    @sassandsavvy007 5 років тому

    David, can you say anything about addiction? I know he has a serious alcohol problem and he consumed ecstasy and cocain "many years ago" (which I'm not so sure it's in the past). Also he's very good at getting me to give him money "to make ends meet" when at the same time he buys lottery tickets (and gambles/places bets?).
    I'm so confused, can't tell his lies from the truth. I'm still not convinced it's all lies but I know he does lie to me... perhaps takes a little bit of truth and "modifies" it... just like tuning a car, he tunes the things he wants me to believe.
    Most confusing is that I can see he does hurt but I cannot see he even considers getting help... he could start with quit drinking ... would help get back to work.
    I'm watching your videos and start understanding but my emotions are still on this rollercoaster with my heart telling me I love him and my brains telling me he doesn't give a shite for me, my heart and especially not for my brains.
    Big Thank You for explaining this emotional mess and for your moral support. It means a lot.