Is Someone You Love Suffering in Silence? Here's What To Do | Gus Worland | TED

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  • Опубліковано 22 сер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 85

  • @AMYINRSM
    @AMYINRSM Рік тому +93

    Lost my mother to suicide. We tried everything to help her. Sometimes, you just can't help someone to want to live. Not to say that you don't try. I'm just saying from personal experience that sometimes you just can't fix things. That being said, good on him for reaching out and trying to bring awareness to the suffering that people are quietly enduring.

    • @JR-zm2yu
      @JR-zm2yu Рік тому +2

      💜🙏

    • @mcfunwow
      @mcfunwow Рік тому +3

      I'm so very sorry.

    • @van_dutch
      @van_dutch Рік тому +9

      What he says at 9:00 is key; get to them when they are at the stage of not wanting to die but need or want help. There's a point of no return.

    • @surabhik9521
      @surabhik9521 Рік тому +6

      I also lost my mother to suicide. I was 9 and never knew it can happen to us. Wish people care each other so much that this thought never occur in anyone’s mind.

    • @JR-zm2yu
      @JR-zm2yu Рік тому

      @@surabhik9521 💜🙏

  • @maggiekelley259
    @maggiekelley259 Рік тому +33

    I'm that person. I'm not attractive, but I know or can figure out problems easily. I've been through enough therapy to know how to communicate effectively and directly. I rubbed shoulders with people at the state house, know how to look confident, how to approach the person you've had a crush on without being creepy, and am a rock for quite a few people.
    I learned all of this through extensive therapy after I attempted to take my own life several times.
    I know the answers, but only for you. I don't know the answers for myself. I feel meaningless and directionless in a lot of ways. I give all this advice and help, but there's always this undercurrent of wanting to unalive myself.
    I wish I knew how to reach out and be vulnerable to others like they are with me.

    • @mooniswani1873
      @mooniswani1873 Рік тому

      Do you want to change ?

    • @hanswoast7
      @hanswoast7 Рік тому +8

      I am in a very similar situation. It started to make sense when Chris Williamson said "the persona cannot receive love, only praise". If you do not allow yourself to be yourself, you will starve to death. You need to "be yourself", open up, be vulnerable, talk about your wants, needs and feelings. This can only be achieved by not trying to be someone else, by not being driven by expectations of others, by acknowledging your feelings and being real to your heart. You can only truly connect to others when you are connected to yourself, e.g. when you are vulnerable and honest and you accept yourself. Being disconnected from oneself and others is the essence of trauma (see Dr. Gabor Mate). I might also point you to Jordan Peterson for the importance of meaning. Best of luck!

    • @maggiekelley259
      @maggiekelley259 Рік тому +2

      @@hanswoast7 Interesting you mention trauma.... There's been a lot of that. I've been going through a real bad streak, and seem to have them in my life? Loss and trauma have dotted the landscape for quite some time, but I'm not sure exactly how to stop that tide. I'm of a pretty low social class as well, so qualified help and a safe place to heal have been very difficult to come by.

    • @fekeetsa
      @fekeetsa Рік тому

      Are you near a teaching hospital or university? Often free assistance can be found at these locations? BTW "being attractive " I've found has no bearing in these situations. What is in your heart will shine through. But if you are a goto person maybe as an experiment... respond with how you are going through something similar. You may find the person needing help has tools to help you. It's not an easy process. ..especially if you are a very private person.

  • @tricia_music
    @tricia_music Рік тому +5

    i lost my best friend 3 years ago to suicide. she was the only person whom i truly could entrust everything to. you just don’t know what someone’s going through. please be kind and spread kindness. it doesn’t cost anything

  • @farrah5469
    @farrah5469 Рік тому +25

    I definitely have a life of battle of suicide. Unfortunately now my depression is grief now. My son was murdered not to long. Now I just want to be of service to help those that are struggling with perspective. Life is so meaningful until life feels meaningless. At that point is when you find your inner self. I've learned to center myself and say things that are fearful out loud. I hope that you have an amazing day on purpose.

    • @lynlacey6678
      @lynlacey6678 Рік тому +1

      Aw I'm going through a depressing episode too take care of yourself x

    • @user-fb1dr6be4y
      @user-fb1dr6be4y Рік тому

      It takes a year every day to work on grief and that's devastating that your son was murdered I couldn't even imagine the pain

    • @adeola08
      @adeola08 Рік тому

      So sorry for your loss.

  • @fekeetsa
    @fekeetsa Рік тому +5

    I'm the go to person in my group. I have cancer, SPS, AVN partly deaf and blind in one eye.. over 20 years now. I would want a single day without pain. It will never happen. I would like a vacation. I would like to not worry something in my house doesn't break down . But i always smile everything is fine I say. I lie constantly. I'm poor and in debt. But I'm always there. No one has ever offered to help me because I'm superwoman. It's exhausting. But if I didn't get involved I'd have no purpose So a choice is made. Be there or nowhere. I choose be there for whoever needs help and I have purpose

  • @nicklong709
    @nicklong709 Рік тому +9

    This is artwork 😢. Thanks Gus! As soon as I thought of my son, I broke down in tears. Keep your head up, chest out, and keep going! You've got this 😊

  • @pathummel4876
    @pathummel4876 Рік тому +7

    Lost my cousin ,uncle and brother to suicide. It will never be the same again. Sending hugs to all!

  • @MH-rc6dr
    @MH-rc6dr Рік тому +5

    Bless you Gus. You’re a true icon.

  • @michellehenderson42
    @michellehenderson42 Рік тому +23

    This is never really talked about or spoken of until it’s too late nine times out of ten… so thanks for sharing this!

  • @adeola08
    @adeola08 Рік тому +11

    I really wish I had someone like this in my life. Would make a world of difference.

    • @fekeetsa
      @fekeetsa Рік тому +1

      Where do you live. Not exactly but the general area. There are more people that do want to help than you can imagine and out could be there for you. Open up and maybe the magic will happen for you. Be careful of the crazies but the honest truth shines through

  • @ardy7729
    @ardy7729 Рік тому +12

    What a powerful message and will definitely be sending my text. Thanks so much Gus.

  • @cop12345
    @cop12345 Рік тому +4

    Great message Gussy. Onya brother!

  • @adeola08
    @adeola08 Рік тому +11

    Very touching story. Thank you so much for sharing and your bravery.

  • @brains7733
    @brains7733 Рік тому +9

    A message of LOVE delivered with passion and sincerity. Thanks Gus.

  • @ITB108
    @ITB108 Рік тому +10

    Because most people have "self interest" only.
    And 90% never ask the givers how they feel.

    • @davidfortier6976
      @davidfortier6976 Рік тому +1

      Compassion doesn't really cost anything, but so many people are so stingy with it.

  • @BrettGrady-vf4kx
    @BrettGrady-vf4kx Рік тому +4

    Great message Gus!

  • @Jonathan-UN
    @Jonathan-UN Рік тому +4

    Wow, what a deep talk. Many thanks for that.

  • @tralamont
    @tralamont Рік тому +3

    Thank you for sharing.

  • @m2pozad
    @m2pozad Рік тому +19

    Men need to learn how to provide emotional support to each other, somewhat like women do for each other.

    • @user-fb1dr6be4y
      @user-fb1dr6be4y Рік тому

      No I don't want that Vinny

    • @m2pozad
      @m2pozad Рік тому +2

      @@user-fb1dr6be4y What do you think it is that you don't want? Did you mean Vinni?
      (Vinni as a girl's name is of Old English origin, and the meaning of Vinni is "elf or magical friend". Vinni is a variant of the Old English names Alvina and Elvina.Mar 15, 2023)

    • @jayd.o.t
      @jayd.o.t Рік тому

      ​@@m2pozadvinni 🧙‍♂️🪄

    • @mikalyonsoneal9890
      @mikalyonsoneal9890 Рік тому +1

      News flash..... women don't support each other either.

  • @rjrjrjj4461
    @rjrjrjj4461 Рік тому +1

    Thank you GusWorland, you are amazing

  • @gonfaraway
    @gonfaraway Рік тому +2

    Words mean nothing without action. Kiss, hug

  • @winneryeahmate
    @winneryeahmate Рік тому

    Miss you on the Grill Team... Mick and MG are good but just feels incomplete without you there

  • @K8319M
    @K8319M Рік тому +2

    best ted talk ive ever seen

  • @ronoldcross8189
    @ronoldcross8189 Рік тому +1

    It would be nice to have a "Gotch for life". But no giving up on the people I know. NEVER GIVE UP!

  • @easterkim353
    @easterkim353 3 місяці тому

    I've been suffering in silence now bc i cried and cried out to my friends and peers to just listen and they wouldnt! Now my only hope is to just forward this to these people before i think of something stupid!😢

  • @makkapoya
    @makkapoya Рік тому +2

    very beautiful speecb ❤

  • @Np54-l4l
    @Np54-l4l Рік тому +2

    Best TED talk I've ever listened to. Many many thanks Gus 🙏

  • @venup6390
    @venup6390 Рік тому +2

    Thank you so much ❤

  • @268Jamal
    @268Jamal Рік тому +1

    Faith, hope and love; these three, and the greatest of these is love.

  • @DavidHanniganJr
    @DavidHanniganJr Рік тому +2

    Fucking Right On Brother!

  • @matthew-jy5jp
    @matthew-jy5jp Рік тому +2

    I have lost many many people I have loved family and friends. It's so important to say the things you need to say to people you love. Because nobody knows what's coming tomorrow. The world would be a better place if we could all just be a little kinder to each other. This is for everyone who's feeling like the day is always going to be dark, Don't give up. There is no darkness that The light of hope and love can't break through. Don't give up even for all its UPS and Downs life is a beautiful thing. And live each day like it is your last because it very well could be.

  • @Mike-pg6gs
    @Mike-pg6gs Рік тому +2

    Inspiring

  • @pat9064
    @pat9064 2 місяці тому

    I'm the opposite, I'm so able to talk about deep topic, but i feel I'm just not enough capable to socialize on funny things

  • @hhairball9
    @hhairball9 9 місяців тому +1

    What if the person you love more than anything doesn't want you to be part of their life anymore?

  • @5flapjacks468
    @5flapjacks468 Рік тому +1

    With all the trials and tribulations we get in life, i have found that Jesus brings me comfort in said tribulations. .... Jesus brings us joy and hope, knowing that He removed all of our sins at Calvary. If you need some teaching on the matter, the you tube channel, 'faith cometh by hearing' has a fine teaching series titled, 'change of mind' which helped me understand the matter.

  • @missdhee
    @missdhee Рік тому +4

  • @matthew-jy5jp
    @matthew-jy5jp Рік тому +2

    We all need someone to talk to you. We all need understanding and compassion and most of mercy and love. Not love of a great or spouse. But love for all humanity even the ones we don't like or understand. It's dialogie that changes people lives. Walk in someone else's shoes and understand That all pain is universal and true compassion comes from sharing in someone's pain and not pushing the person away whose pain you cannot bear the deal with.

  • @vivianjones5904
    @vivianjones5904 Рік тому

    HAPPY FOR YOU!!!❤😂

  • @CsillaMolnar-vj5ce
    @CsillaMolnar-vj5ce Рік тому +1

    Is there a ted talk to people who literally have no one?

  • @DanceUnderInfluence
    @DanceUnderInfluence Рік тому +5

    Make housing affordable.

  • @therockpavankumar
    @therockpavankumar Рік тому

    Thank you love you anna

  • @ashrafzulhelmi1851
    @ashrafzulhelmi1851 Рік тому

    How about that someone is myself?

  • @rimaruttempest6109
    @rimaruttempest6109 Рік тому +1

    I’m that person

  • @geraldmerkowitz4360
    @geraldmerkowitz4360 Рік тому +1

    That would be great if youtube would just let me WATCH THE DAMN VIDEO

  • @RichardShift
    @RichardShift Рік тому

    Honest question now for Gus and everyone: how can I help you helping?? This is sincere! Please, let me know!

    • @van_dutch
      @van_dutch Рік тому

      He says at 11:00 how you can help.

  • @kanjoA4
    @kanjoA4 Рік тому +1

    Hello from spexy fam

  • @funnytv-1631
    @funnytv-1631 Рік тому +2

    Recommend them to get professional help

    • @annie8230
      @annie8230 Рік тому +6

      A friend is worth 1000x more than a stranger therapist

    • @isaurogomez6752
      @isaurogomez6752 Рік тому +1

      No TRUST.
      " WE " , the OLD PEOPLE, NOW VERY WELL HOW " THE DOCTORS AND EXPERTS" WORK.
      I'LL GO TO A DR., ONLY IF THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.
      ALL THEY WANT IS %$$$$$$$%%%%$$.

    • @isaurogomez6752
      @isaurogomez6752 Рік тому

      ​@@annie8230 ABSOLUTELY 💯 !!!
      SALUDOS CORDIALES. 🙏

    • @sharifaa.8887
      @sharifaa.8887 Рік тому +2

      My friend tried, but the psychologist she went to the first time went off telling her his own story and she felt she hadn't been helped at all. She hasn't tried again. 🙁 and she has been miserable recently and saying worrisome things. And she has chronic disease as well.

    • @JimBoom92
      @JimBoom92 Рік тому

      If you cant solve your inner problems yourself then you must be stupid to think that some therapist could do that for a lot of money... i would rather learn to live with it or kill myself before visiting such an 'expert'. But maybe stupid people can be helped to see what they are not able to see on their own... i somehow learned to enjoy my suffering, its called living.

  • @user-fb1dr6be4y
    @user-fb1dr6be4y Рік тому

    How could Robin Williams the most funniest man on the planet take his own life he's suffered in silence

    • @marcanderson9211
      @marcanderson9211 Рік тому +3

      His brain was being slowly destroyed by a horrible disease. He knew it; he knew it would only get worse; and he knew it was terminal. That’s a hard thing to carry.

    • @marcanderson9211
      @marcanderson9211 Рік тому +2

      Also, as different areas of your brain deteriorate and die, your capacity for rational thought and reasoning can go with it. Dementia in any form is just horrible, for the patient and the family / friends.

    • @user-fb1dr6be4y
      @user-fb1dr6be4y Рік тому

      @@marcanderson9211 he suffered in silence yeah the loving daughter that was devastated you don't know what you're talkin about you're fired

    • @neen42
      @neen42 Рік тому +2

      ​@@user-fb1dr6be4y he absolutely knows what he's talking about. Anyone who has had a loved one suffer and linger with dementia before dying an unrecognizable shell of a person would know that.

  • @reemasamrat8260
    @reemasamrat8260 Рік тому +1

  • @tofuyun77
    @tofuyun77 Рік тому +1