Best HFY Reddit Stories: How a human fixed the galaxies greatest computer & Tribute | 2506 | r/HFY

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  • Опубліковано 19 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 87

  • @richardbrowning7197
    @richardbrowning7197 17 днів тому +122

    In that first story is it just me or does it sound like humans built the machine and died and evolved a second time. That would make sense considering the machines reaction.

  • @Norbrookc
    @Norbrookc 17 днів тому +68

    As a former computer tech, I can say that it's always amazing at how many times a quick whack has fixed the problem.

    • @davidbilich1708
      @davidbilich1708 13 днів тому +3

      Somebody on my crews will call me over to trouble shoot something... I'll look at it, not find any problems at all... pit it back together… and now it works.
      Them: what did you do?
      Me: you were holding your tongue the wrong way.

  • @Fylasfrommabi
    @Fylasfrommabi 16 днів тому +17

    the fact he recognized humanity is both intriguing and VERY VERY TROUBLESOME for everyone else XD

  • @Terran.Marine.2
    @Terran.Marine.2 17 днів тому +84

    Never underestimate the mighty pipe wrench.

    • @Gaster601
      @Gaster601 17 днів тому +7

      Percussive maintenance is the only thing that calms the angry machine gods.

    • @PromptCriticalJello
      @PromptCriticalJello 17 днів тому +3

      @@Gaster601 It is not just the wrench. The proper litany must accompany it. And occasionally blood.

    • @dsloop3907
      @dsloop3907 17 днів тому +2

      @@PromptCriticalJello Yes, never repeat the same magic words twice in one sentence.

    • @Gaster601
      @Gaster601 17 днів тому +2

      @@PromptCriticalJello Blood is only needed for printers, sometimes you even need to sacrifice a lamb or the soul of your firstborn.
      But yes, off course one needs to cite the holy verses of maintenance, else the bad machine ghosts can't be vanquished. A splash of holy oils to be sure and the spirits of the machinarium should be pleased.

    • @PromptCriticalJello
      @PromptCriticalJello 17 днів тому +1

      @@Gaster601 I beg to differ. I've had more than a few bloody knuckles, choice words and righteous thumps to get non-printers working.

  • @sysbofh
    @sysbofh 17 днів тому +45

    Good old percussive maintenance. Never fails.

    • @wardraven8755
      @wardraven8755 16 днів тому +3

      If it does then it’s un fixable

  • @commiedeer
    @commiedeer 17 днів тому +47

    Okay that second story makes me laugh. Yeah sure, keep telling yourself that while the Space Dwarves are clearly picking your monarch for you.

    • @anormalpotato2887
      @anormalpotato2887 17 днів тому +6

      His ignorance of behind the scenes power is off the roofs.

    • @TrueFork
      @TrueFork 17 днів тому +7

      how to conquer a universe on the cheap and without dirtying your hands

    • @kyriss12
      @kyriss12 7 днів тому

      Reminds me of that other HFY where the xeno was sitting next to a human in the cafeteria bragging about their sport team beating the human sport team and how learning all those wonderful games were totally worth conquering earth alone.
      The human then proceeds to systematically point out the xenos warrior culture was completely lacking in substance till earth came along and all their food fashion and media is derived from humans. So in the end who really conquered who.

  • @tylercosner4509
    @tylercosner4509 17 днів тому +25

    “If it’s stupid but it works, it ain’t stupid”

  • @MrDj232
    @MrDj232 17 днів тому +59

    Humans are the forerunners.

    • @reddeathstar2428
      @reddeathstar2428 17 днів тому +3

      Guilty spark:
      YOU ARE FORERUNNER!

    • @kyriss12
      @kyriss12 7 днів тому +1

      And I don’t what 343 says other words because they can’t even keep a coherent story arc running between games.

  • @xessq1
    @xessq1 17 днів тому +44

    story #2 when the tail wags the dog

    • @robertstoneking7916
      @robertstoneking7916 17 днів тому +9

      When the warrior caste doesn't know who is really in power.

  • @larrythompson8630
    @larrythompson8630 17 днів тому +12

    I recall Skylab the solar array would not deploy. After many attempts they were told to get biggest wrench they could and hit the motor. The solar array deployed, power to work for decades

  • @Ryu_D
    @Ryu_D 17 днів тому +10

    Thank you for the video. There are so many ways to interpret the last part of the first story. "Are you human?" Surprise, joy, sheer unbridled terror. I'd love to see a prequel story explaining the machine's construction. As for the second story, yeah you keep telling yourselves that. Pay no mind to the fact that humans raise your rulers from birth, teaching them however humans see fit.

  • @danijelandroid
    @danijelandroid 17 днів тому +25

    3 mins in, the humans either kick/hit something to get it started or found the off-on/reset button.😊

  • @wngimageanddesign9546
    @wngimageanddesign9546 17 днів тому +24

    I now am theorizing that human emotional outbursts are an example of quantum entanglement to the molecular matrix of non-organic and organic mechanisms. And that psychic energy and message is managing to become a catalyst to trigger a fundamental reaction. We somehow connect and initiate the effect through our will power.

    • @ufoe20011
      @ufoe20011 17 днів тому +13

      Translation
      " we reject your reality and substitute our own "

    • @kingmasterlord
      @kingmasterlord День тому

      your will is the focusing lense, your passion is the light.

  • @Ibian666
    @Ibian666 17 днів тому +19

    The tip of the spear. But the tip is nothing without the shaft.

  • @barelyasurvivor1257
    @barelyasurvivor1257 17 днів тому +17

    Hmm good thing no one has ever looked closely at who runs things.
    Or well it shows that it doesn't matter, Humans make or break kings
    Logistics rules over all.

  • @RealArcalian
    @RealArcalian 17 днів тому +12

    Greetings, Mentlegent!
    For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
    Story 1: So....did we build it, or what?
    Story 2: Yes, by all means, conquer! ....where we tell you to.

    • @MsDogleaf
      @MsDogleaf 13 днів тому +1

      ohh yes but they serive us and we do everything to protect and make sure they are happy

  • @Shadow.Dragon
    @Shadow.Dragon 17 днів тому +4

    Great stories; Excellent narration! 1st story - did humans construct the world computer or did the world computer compute that a human would wake it up? Either way, the story reminded me of "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". 2nd story - whose the master and whose the servant LOL!!!

  • @TheLastRhapsody
    @TheLastRhapsody 17 днів тому +36

    Of course that would have done it. Machine beyond anyone’s understanding that will not work no matter what you do until you smack it? Must be human.
    As for the second story, who wants to put money on the alien conquerers looking very much like cats?

    • @artyd42
      @artyd42 17 днів тому +15

      Story 1: Old fixes often best fixes. The term is actually from steam locomotives and because of how metal parts act under heat. It would lock in place and nothing could be done except either hit it in specific spots or disassemble the entire machine only to find out there is no mechanical part that is out of place or damaged. The insanity is that every time it stopped it would jam until it completely cooled down. So to keep it in service the angry engineer way back in the day figured out what parts were causing the issue and smashed the area they were in. And it worked... Thus "percussive maintenance" was born. It's been applied to many fields of work. From engines as small as the one in your leaf blower to as large as a nuclear power plant and even as expensive as a submarine. Goes as far back as 1698 though there may be earlier recorded events where smashing a thing made it do what it was intended to.
      Story 2: Couldn't be catlike as we wouldn't allow them to throw themselves into harms way if they were. In addition they wouldn't understand the question of why. Nor would they have king and queen status. Carnivore? Yes. Patriarchal? No. But all they asked for was food and weapons to protect their vassals? That's practically a free army for the amount they are asking for? Picture it in terms of how it was settled without a single bullet fired. It couldn't have been better than "cheap" at best. Over 1 billion soldiers... but at a cost that couldn't have been more than 1 million human soldiers. Maybe even less than current military spending of the United States. That is a bargain beyond words.
      Let us protect you and help us protect you or else we're going to attack you! All the "Why?" statements were humans trying to wrap their brains around a protectorate race and not understanding how it was so inexpensive. They guard without hesitation and regardless of cost... they are obviously dog like.

    • @TheLastRhapsody
      @TheLastRhapsody 17 днів тому +11

      @@artyd42 Perhaps some mix of canine and feline. The reason I went with cats even though one of their planets had "canis" in the name was I didn't think a doggo could command the sheer arrogance the race displayed.

    • @MrDj232
      @MrDj232 17 днів тому +12

      ​@@TheLastRhapsody "They are lucky to have us as their masters" is 100% how cats think while they're lazing around and eating food between hobby hunts.

    • @merlinathrawes746
      @merlinathrawes746 17 днів тому +1

      @@artyd42 More likely canine than feline.

  • @kurtismiller9544
    @kurtismiller9544 17 днів тому +11

    For DA SKWERL and his Nest

  • @Exile_Sky
    @Exile_Sky 16 днів тому +1

    I can't count the number of times percussive maintenance has helped me out.

  • @merlinathrawes746
    @merlinathrawes746 17 днів тому +11

    Percussive maintenance for the win. But it knows of Humans? Hmmm... that could prove interesting.
    Talk about not being able to read a situation. These folk don't understand who is actually in charge.

    • @gmradio2436
      @gmradio2436 17 днів тому +2

      My Lord, it is obvious that you are the master here. Now put on the suit, go to the humanity education event, and toast the High Queen.
      No my Lord, I am not ordering you, that is not my place, but I am reminding you, for your own good.

  • @Therealwanderingyooper
    @Therealwanderingyooper 17 днів тому +12

    Percussive maintenance is a necessity, hardly an invention!

  • @citizen_grub4171
    @citizen_grub4171 17 днів тому +3

    Better to be the kingmaker than the king.

  • @MichaelParker-mi6ie
    @MichaelParker-mi6ie 15 днів тому

    Percussive maintenance, mechanical agitation, aggravated repair kinetics; call it what you want, it works

  • @podBopper
    @podBopper 17 днів тому +4

    The toe beans need to be spread across the galaxy

  • @patrick_j_lee
    @patrick_j_lee 17 днів тому

    Love how you always do your engineer characters with a Scottish accent 😄

  • @jobob9643
    @jobob9643 17 днів тому +3

    2:53 ... have you tried unplugging and plugging it in again?

  • @gobihoukou1
    @gobihoukou1 9 днів тому

    So yeah, that first story went exactly like I thought it will. Except that last sentence before the end, I did not see that one coming.

  • @batuarganda728
    @batuarganda728 17 днів тому +2

    Too bad they didn't have a sassy caretaker to maintain the machine. But atleast there were no space zombies there!
    Thinking about it, having an alien master do all the dirty jobs for you is really convenient. We can just chill on our farms and create novelty weapons for fun and profit.

  • @earmunchermuncher7639
    @earmunchermuncher7639 5 днів тому

    My favorite example of this is we got a microwave that occasionally stops actually making heat. You can tell because it gets quiet and never gets loud again. Anyways, just to piss my sister off ill punch the side of it and it will start up lol

  • @MidnightSmoke
    @MidnightSmoke 17 днів тому +1

    Here is a like and comment for the stories, for entertaining me, to help your channel grow, to appease the great and powerful UA-cam algorithm demon, and get you the recognition you deserve.

  • @destroyraiden
    @destroyraiden 17 днів тому +2

    This technique probably works due to the transfer of energy rather then the beating something loose.

  • @johnpisciotto7115
    @johnpisciotto7115 17 днів тому +2

    i want to know how the computer knew of humanity

    • @garysprandel1817
      @garysprandel1817 17 днів тому +2

      Guessing either the creators of the machine or the creators fecked around with humanity and found out to the point they had to go to ground for a dozen or so billion years and hope the heat was off by then.

  • @Cptn_Candy
    @Cptn_Candy 17 днів тому

    Always makes my day a bit brighter seeing you read one of mine, thanks agro!

  • @gothicshark
    @gothicshark 17 днів тому +1

    I liked the 1st one way too much. As it caused way too many questions. But then I looked at who the author was, and was like Oh... yeah, that's why.

  • @christopherg2347
    @christopherg2347 17 днів тому +2

    Story 2: Fetch, doggie.

  • @greggwilliamson
    @greggwilliamson 17 днів тому +2

    First time seeing my name on the $5 list. YAY!!!

  • @allenmorgan1007
    @allenmorgan1007 16 днів тому

    For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Holographic Voice!

  • @willgallatin2802
    @willgallatin2802 17 днів тому +1

    All hail the feline overlords!

  • @amberpelton5679
    @amberpelton5679 17 днів тому +1

    Great stories ! ❤

  • @willlockler9433
    @willlockler9433 17 днів тому

    Servant as master.

  • @namebn
    @namebn 15 днів тому

    How did the alien computer know about humans when it's been sleeping for 13 billion years?

    • @jefftitterington7600
      @jefftitterington7600 5 днів тому

      Ominous music plays... because that is an excellent question with some ... problematic ... possible answers.

  • @way2dumb
    @way2dumb 17 днів тому

    Hello from Australia, where if aliens vave or will visit, in the Outback, we will never know it. 😂

  • @grogvaughan5649
    @grogvaughan5649 14 днів тому

    Story 2; The Power Behind the Throne

  • @mikehenthorn1778
    @mikehenthorn1778 16 днів тому

    The second story, i see we are topping from the bottom again. Lol

  • @MartinGalle-w1c
    @MartinGalle-w1c 17 днів тому

    Windler Locks

  • @bewarethegreyghost
    @bewarethegreyghost 15 днів тому

    "American components, Russian components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!" begins beating console with wrench, "THIS IS HOW WE FIX THINGS ON RUSSIAN SPACE STATION!"

  • @FuzzyMarineVet
    @FuzzyMarineVet 17 днів тому +3

    The author of the second story used ancient Latin spelling. There was no letter 'U' 2000 years ago. So when you see the 'V' pronounce it as 'U.'

  • @BlackTalon-gc2jw
    @BlackTalon-gc2jw 16 днів тому

    Just the tap of my finger turn the video into 1K likes such joy

  • @Di3Leberwurst
    @Di3Leberwurst 17 днів тому

    Learned from the cats huh?

  • @ErvinSchmoll-o6v
    @ErvinSchmoll-o6v 15 днів тому

    Raven Brook

  • @TheRealInscrutable
    @TheRealInscrutable 16 днів тому

    200K

  • @lupaswolfshead9971
    @lupaswolfshead9971 17 днів тому +2

    UNO. shh do not tell him i am here he will send his spider mechs after me.

  • @ChristopherMills-v4x
    @ChristopherMills-v4x 17 днів тому

    Eve Stravenue

  • @Kirsten2933
    @Kirsten2933 17 днів тому +1

    Like 333
    Woohoo!
    🎉🎉🎉
    🇨🇦😎👍

  • @Jakes3130
    @Jakes3130 17 днів тому

    🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

  • @merlinwizard1000
    @merlinwizard1000 17 днів тому

    4th, 2 September 2024

  • @HeilTec
    @HeilTec 17 днів тому

    👍