Every post in this subreddit is either "AITA for stealing my friends cookie?" or "AITA for committing systematic genocide on a minority group?", and there is no in between.
first story: The INSTANT that boy said he wouldn't "allow" his gf to have a specific color setting on her phone... Girl. Immediately No. Throw away the whole boyfriend. It's a freaking phone setting.
That was such a hostile response that I feel like there's more going on with him, but not in a good way. This was a power grab (on top of virtue signaling) when they're supposed to be partners, and there's a big difference between "I won't allow you to get scammed by this call center" and "I won't allow you to like the color yellow." Yikes forever!
Samesies. I was like: This is starting out hot. You could side against the guy for the "You shouldn't drive if you can walk, because some people can't walk" argument or for the "You're not my boss; I don't need your permission" angle. But then she said he's refusing to talk to her now, and I'm shrugging, "Sometimes the trash takes itself out. But you shouldn't want to."
She also sabotaged the ballet recital long before she had time to rewrite the memory in her head. If I understood correctly, the children had to pick princesses to portray, suggesting that when someone doesn't show up as Snow White, but as a hotdog, there's going to be an awkward performance.
My own mother is also prone to making up stories. She appears genuinely confused when multiple people contradict one of her stories. Physical evidence that contradicts her version of events is subject to close scrutiny, lots of silent pondering, and then eventual acceptance.
I'd love to hope that, when the mom was later looking at the pictures from that incident and crying, she was thinking, "My God, what have I done?" but it seems sadly unlikely...
My Mom literally hears yes when I say no. This is 100% something she would do. So many times I've gotten upset when my Mom tries to rewrite what happened in my head.
The commenter who was like: “I would be resisting the urge to tell him that his stupidity was insensitive to people who actually have intellectual disabilities” I love their kind of petty
28:00 It sounds like the family thinks OP is saying "I don't want to have a disabled kid because ew disabled people" when they are really saying "I recognize I dont have the mental/emotional ability or desire to care for a child that needs extra support" They are very different attitudes.
Thats the exact point. There is nothing wrong with having a disabled kid. They can live life normally and be just joys to be around just like any other kid. But they require work and not everyone can do this. Its a good thing that she is admitting to herself that she probably couldn't take care of one. Because if you aren't ready for it, if your dont have that ability. It can make your kid's disability feel so much worst. Because not only your everyday is difficult, but they are going to grow up to think that they are dragging people down and being a blunder. Which isnt a feeling anyone would want to experience. I hope those parents comes around, they dont seem like bad people. They just don't know how important it is for a disabled kid to have parents who understand and supports them.
Yep, my husband and I talked very early on in our relationship about not having kids and the why's of it. We each had already known individually that we didn't want kids and have chatted about it as friends. But one of the biggest issues was that we already have disabilities that make life a daily challenge for us. A kid with those same or worse disabilities would not get the care or attention they deserved. It turned out to be the best decision we've made as I'm now fully disabled with chronic illness and have trouble taking care of myself, let alone a teenager or younger child
@sevenember3332 same reason for me. I can bearly take care of myself and my partner is struggling with anger issues and many mental illnesses. I love kids, but as for now I really dont want any. I want to get my tubes tied and we both agreed that if we change our mind. Well adopt one.
Also I personally think it's morally wrong to have a kid KNOWING they will be disabled (not talking about like, you got pregnant and found out they're gonna be disabled, but like, you know your whole family has a running disability and still deciding to have a kid)
@MaridoDoFelps I dont really think so. Again. Disability isn't a good or a bad thing. Its just a thing. And as long you have parents that can afford and understand you. There is nothing wrong with it.
24:00 also, doing chores isn't a punishment and should never be a punishment. First, in this case especially, it doesn't fit the alleged crime. Taking the puppy back to its owner would have been more appropriate, but she didn't even steal anything. Which makes it worse. Also, when a child is still that young, having the association of chores=punishment will lead to the child thinking that any chores are punishment. And that's damn hard to get rid of as an adult.
I struggle heavily with chores because chores were treated as a punishment when I was younger. It still feels like a punishment to do them because I still have that association and GOD, does it suck
I would clean other peoples’ homes since 7th grade to earn money to put aside for college or for myself (along with other jobs). I was assigned certain chores as a child, along with my siblings, even though we didn’t receive an allowance. You don’t hate chores because they were used as punishments. You hate chores because they’re chores.
@@jpbaley2016 My siblings and I also had rotating chores, but they were predictable and expected, not sprung on us as a punishment. People who have parents make them clean the garage because they broke a vase will later associate cleaning the garage with having done something wrong. That's not the case for everyone, but for some kids, chores was a primary punishment whether it was deserved or not, and when you associate everyday tasks with someone or something that upsets you, it can be hard to separate those emotions long enough to get it done. I've never had a problem with cleaning the bathroom because I actually have positive associations. I could close the door while I cleaned and have some privacy, and I received praise for a job well done. I have less fondness for dishes because my brother would always bring up a dirty dish right after I'd finished washing everything up. Everyone has their reasons for not liking things and for why certain tasks may be harder to accomplish than others. Not everyone has trauma, but some do.
@@jpbaley2016you’re just being dissmissive about something you don’t know about. by the sounds of it you did those chores because you WANTED to, to save up and stuff. you weren’t FORCED to do them as punishment, or punished further for not complying. you can’t say how other people are supposed to feel about something, especially when you’ve never experienced that something yourself. chores can be draining regardless, yes, and not many people like them. but there’s a difference between not liking them, and associating them with trauma. my mother would scream at me while doing dishes and get mad if something wasn’t 100% spotless and to this day I’ve never been able to do a full load. I only wash dishes when I need to use them because I cannot stand the thought of filling up the sink and standing there for hours I struggle taking care of myself because she would scream at me. it wasn’t just chores I viewed as punishment-it’s taking care of myself, because my mother turned it into a negative experience. children are very susceptible to learning and ingraining these things young. your brain is developing and taking in all these lessons. when you get older, those lessons are all set in stone, even if they’re wrong, and it takes an immense amount of time and effort to chisel them out. it’s not cool to be dissmissive of other peoples experiences and trauma jsut because you don’t experience it the same. do you know what empathy is?
The girlfriend could probably gain some insight into his character by actually seeing if he reacts to that scenario. Option 1: Bf gets angry at others for using ramp --> Probably just needs to have a long conversation with a disabled person/therapist to work through whatever his problem is with this. Option 2: Bf doesn't see a problem with it --> He's probably a controlling partner who likes to tear down his girlfriend so she won't ever have the self-esteem to leave him. In which case, RUN
The thing about that is, using a color filter on your phone affects no one else but yourself but using a ramp when you don’t actually need it can prevent other people from using it who do need it. They are not comparable.
My ex-husband recently had a child with his girlfriend, around the time my child with the ex turned 15yo. The ex kept saying to our son things like, "I can't do such-and-such because I have a kid now" or "I need to buy a house cuz I have a kid now." Like, hello - you've _had_ a kid for *15 years* now! We didn't have our son exceptionally young, so that's not the issue (I was 25 and he was 28). What a douche!!!
At least your son still has you, better than the person in the story. I hope you've pointed out to your ex what a POS he's being, not that it seems likely he'd improve... Best wishes to you and your family in any case.
@GusBried My son doesn't want me to say anything to his dad about it because then his dad will know my son is talking to me about him and is scared his dad will get mad at him. I'm actually very close friends with my ex, but he does have many shortcomings (above and beyond those every typical person has). So if I say something to the ex about his insensitive comments, my son will be upset that I went against his wishes, but if I don't say something to the ex, my son will continue being upset by similar comments. So I'm kinda stuck. My ex is a great dad in general and of course my son loves him *VERY* much. He just doesn't consider how or even that his insensitive comments make our son feel. Anyway, I do very much appreciate your kind words!
@@kathryncumberland Maybe talk with your son to talk (you with their father or they) If your ex is a good parent will understand that this kind of comments annoy him I know it's hard, but I appreciated that my mother talked to my father for something similar
I would think that the new GF would see this as a red flag. If he no longer considers his son with you to be his kid now that he has a new family, how is he going to see his child with his current GF if they split?
I honestly hate what that mom did to that kid with the Halloween costume, Halloween is supposed to be a time where you can dress up to be something amazing and that you love. One of my best memories is making a grim reaper cloak with my grandma. For the mom to take that childhood experience and absolutely smash it apart by setting your kid up like that? It’s really frustrating and anger inducing.
The mother sounds like a sadistic, psychopathic “poo-poo head” 😌 Emotional abuse is so much worse than any other; scars on the outside heal, but ones inside take far longer. Thanks Click for standing up for this kid and setting the record straight about this wildly neglectful so-called “parenting”.
The hotdog costume thing was even worse if you think the mother was punishing the kid that way for failing at cooking hot dogs. An extra-petty reminder. I'm sure that qualifies as child abuse.
I agree that the hotdog costume thing was bad and that the mother punishing her kid for it or trying to be quirky was stupid, but calling it child abuse is a bit exaggerated, no?
@@candermanthegreat No. It's psychological abuse, especially given the reactions from the peers (the bullying) that was very likely anticipated as well.
@@candermanthegreat I'm sorry but if your reaction to your kid wanting to help out is to humiliate them in front of everyone... it is at least stepping on the thin line.
4:09 As a person with disabilities let me say: the more people use our tools, the more accessible they become. Imagine having Ciliac Disease 30 years ago vs today. In the 90s it would have been very hard to find Gluten Free anything. Now almost anything you want has a Gluten Free option. That's because people who don't _need_ it started to _want_ it and suddenly life is easier for some people.
That's what I explain to people who hesitate to use a chest binder for cosplay. It's weird to see people be hesitant to use tolls that aren't scarce but gladly abuse controlled substances, which actually causes accessibility issues.
I agree in principle, though the gluten thing also has another spin, as there was a wave of it being called "unhealthy for everyone" by pseudo science and lifestyle channels. It's not unhealthy to not eat gluten either, so no real harm done, but it has a bit of a bad aftertaste.
...save for reserved seats XDD Accesibility tools are ok; as long as able people using them too does not detract from their intended use, making it actually harder for people that rely on them. For example, I work at a kitchen, we will have a protocol for allergies plus carry vegan and gluten free options if enough people order them. That beign said, if you claim to have a food intolerance that you don't have; you are still going to make us treat every part of the process as an allergy in order to avoid cross contamination. "Gluten free" becoming a popular tag, has not made it so that people who has severe allergic reactions to gluten is risk free, quite the opossite, it has made it possible for many cross contaminated products to reach the consumer. Or things as ridiculous as table salt beign labelled "gluten free" in order just to cramp up products in online shopping search results.
So MIL is calling her grandchild spoiled because... she's not allowed to just demand a different cake for someone else's birthday... Ma'am...you're the spoiled brat. Heck I have celiac disease and literally can't eat most cakes...I still don't demand other people gluten free cakes on THEIR birthdays...I'll just bring my own. (Though my friends are also really cool and often pick up something from the bakery for me, since they live closer to said bakery.)
@@ryanhughes6405not the original poster, but I'll try to answer. Celiac disease is a kind of really bad allergy to gluten, even if it can vary in its intensity from "slightly discomforting" to "I think I'm gonna die here". Since gluten is present in most cereals (except for rice and a few others), a normal cake, made with wheat flour, could give some nasty issues. I hope this explaination made it clearer 😊 but please check the net for more detailed informations, especially on medical sites, because I know I am no expert
20:00 it's not "like" assault, it *IS* assault. Hope the parents document everything and sue so their daughter gets her college paid for. Silver lining from the hell she's gone through. Edit: and further, now that I have finished your reading of the story, it doesn't matter if they're "handling it" now. The girl WAS VICTIMIZED. You don't get to get off, say, murder charges because you promise you're looking into the psychopathy that caused you to murder someone so it isn't going to happen again. You get punished for the murder.
As a teacher, we could lose our job if the bullies parents nagged at the school enough, so I can sadly image why this situation happened, but I would get fired for this girl. I subbed at a school where the first grade was evacuated daily because one student liked to throw those cement and metal chairs around she he was told not to punch the expensive smart board. Never went back after that day. I will never work somewhere that the children aren't safe because a violent kid is special needs and can't be expelled.
@@christineryan2988sorry. This is not against you at all but i don't get the logic. You could get fired if the bully's parents nag enough, but not if the victim's parents nag enough???
Absolutely. As a parent with children in public school, that story was horrific. I would be devastated if my own suffered something like that. I also hope her lawsuit goes well.
I pretended I was Laura Ingalls Wilder! My uncle had a historical park and I got to actually be a frontier girl for a few hours. I still have the bonnet from there.
im not colorblind myself so my apolocheese if this question is ignorant, but aren't there multiple different types of colorblindness that use different filters? couldn't this negatively impact some colorblind folks that would need a different filter (and therefore it would be more beneficial for a viewer to turn on a colorblind filter on their device)?
@@GoroAkechi_Real Some games have a 'colorblind mode' where they swap color coding for distinct symbols and shapes, which is much easier to distinguish than a filter overlaid on top would be
The disabled family baby pushers story is SOOOO annoying. I can't believe they took everything OP said and twisted it like that. Having a disabled child is NOT easy, and someone who isn't mentally prepared for that kind of caretaking should NOT risk having a child who they might resent. This coming from a very likely autistic (can't afford the doctors fees for the diagnosis) person whose parents treated them like shit and screamed at me for not acting normal.
Oh my god THIS. One thing I keep seeing and repeating is the line that if you aren’t prepared to have a disabled kid, a queer kid, or really for any version of a kid who may not be exactly what kind of kid you may have wanted, you aren’t actually prepared to have a kid and should not have one. Once the kid is in the picture, it’s too late and it is now your responsibility to care for them no matter what happens.
honestly this. I once talked to a person who said they wanted a kid but if they ended up being disabled they couldn't handle it (they wanted to adopt) and I got PISSED. I told them straight up that if you cannot handle a child who is disabled in any way then you should not have a kid, period. you cannot control the child you have so you have to be prepared and willing to go through with anything.
I am autistic. I'm high-functioning/low support needs. I still do not think I could handle having a child. I'm usually fine, but sometimes sounds, textures, and smells get to me. I genuinely can't imagine trying to get passed the first 6 or so years of a child's life. The screaming, poop, and general stickiness would get to me. I would want to try my best and use the gentle parenting method but I can just see that I would not have the patience sometimes and I do not want to take that out on the child. That along with generally just wanting freedom and to be the "cool childless gay aunts" with my partner has me perfectly content with the idea of no kids. I wish people would just understand this. Edit: Just to be clear, I am also lucky enough to have a mom that fully understands and respects my decision. She's told me "Children are a lot of work and it doesn't just stop once they turn 18" which I fully agree with. (My dad hasn't said anything about it.) I just meant generally it sucks how often I see these stories of people being told they're horrible for not wanting kids for whatever reason. Just let people live their lives how *they* want to.
people that are good guardian to disabled youth are strong in a way that plainly others aren't and it is not bad for those exposed to/ apart of those kinds of family dynamic to admit to being too weak to have the strength to ever be able to handle it, people should never be shunned or judged for having the self-awarness and compassion to avoid inflicting pain unto another being by choosing not to have a kid....cause they know themselves to be unfit.
2:55 Adrien here is implying that there are a limited amount of colourblind filters, as in when one person uses a colourblind filter, another person will no longer be able to use it
Like you know, just like America, France or other country from many of those who had a positive revolution. Lead as smart leader would to not be overtorn by your partener as the deciding parent and not to be divorced if you become a bigger ashole or you stay the same ashole you are without a change. And reconise your defeats even after them to not be put in same situations.
23:29 if I were OP, I’d tell him that the lesson he’s teaching the daughter will lead to her getting into abusive relationships in the future “lay down and accept what I’m doing to you, even if it’s unjustified” either he’ll realize he’s hurting his daughter, or he’ll reveal he’s an abusive father
I think a good counter would have bring up a situation where he would have to have had to accept a wrong decision from an authority figure. Like would he agree to sign a disciplinary form from his manager if his company accused him of committing a crime or prohibited act that he didn’t do? If not then why is it okay for him to make his daughter do the same thing
@Sly-Moose he could have been abused and grew up believing the world works that way. Who would have been there to tell him that his own parents were wrong? I am certain my grandfather grew up believing that talking back deserved punishment, even if the child was right. If my own father had not been so resentful of his parents the cycle might have continued to me.
That's exactly what he needs to be told. That, or "you wanna see unreasonable? I'll give you unreasonable, I'm divorcing you for being a power mad twat."
I've noticed there seems to be a trend, especially in America, where people are starting to feel weird or judged for using things that make things easier for you. I don't really get it. Those things are designed to make things easier. That's the entire point of technology advancements.
Maybe because of some kind of scarcity mindset Look at what happens during a crisis Other countries: -Work together, help eachother, share food and shelter MURICA!: -raid the stores! Leave nothing behind! Steal if need be! (Or during Black Friday WTF is up with that?!?!) Same when you tell them about making anything free for the less fortunate they worry that they would have to pay more But if a service actually is free (like provided by the church) they learned if they act that way and steal it they become the bad ones and if they see someone else use it the get onto their high horses because they could become “protectors of the weak” aka good guys WITHOUT actually doing something… Even with unlimited services that actually don’t use any form of physical resource (like accessibility settings)
I think the purpose is to tear down neurodivergent people. Because every time we find what works for us, some grown up tells us “that’s not how it’s done”
Makes sense when you think about how some older people nag about how younger people have it easier than they did, like that's the whole point. They also might just think doing it the easy way is a sign of weaknes or something. Idk, I'm not a psychologist or anything
In America there is this ideology of "toughing it out" and "not being weak". Every time I say I got back pain as a means of saying I need to sit down I get told I'm "complaining too much" thd that "You're much too young for that. It's just a pulled muscle I bet".
@someonehavinganidentitycrisis They have this mind set of someone enjoying the small things of life = lazy and they think a person *needing* said items is just "being lazy". I get told a lot that I don't have hearing issues I "just don't want to listen to others".
What adult money is often used for: morgage, car payments, groceries What we all wish we could use our adult money for: movie accurate Witch King of Angmar full-metal armor cosplay, complete with morgul blade and smoke machine.
I wish I could spend my money on the coolest fantasy armor known to man instead of normal things like food and running water I don't need those things I can hunt and filter my own water
@@Laura-gb1jv Well, in this case affordability is relative -- it's by US standards. Most of the rest of the world would call my soon-to-be location car-dependent and lacking in basic public priorities.
For the girl being punished for "stealing a dog": The other alternative to teaching her to accept poor treatment is that she's going to learn that she may as well misbehave since she's going to be punished for it either way
This is basicly what my grandparents did to my mom. All her stories from childhood and adolescence are how she hide incoconsequenstial things from them.
absolutely that's what happened with my little sister my mom had a bad control problem so she often gave me and my sister drug tests or pregnancy tests if we took it she said "you wanting to know the results proves to me you were doing those things otherwise you wouldn't need to know" if we denied it "you don't want to do it because you know it will show you are lying" in my case I learned to just stop going out so that she would stop doing it but my sister unfortunately learned that if she was gonna be forced to take tests as if she's having sex and doing drugs every time she sees someone and get punished or accused of being *those bad words you call women who have sex* then she might as well actually do it since it would be the same punishment and as my sister so lovingly puts it "what's the difference I get treated like shit either way at least this way I'm having fun doing the things I'm getting in trouble for" but things are better now we no longer live with my mother and she is learning to decode the bad behavior our mother taught her
Yep, Oz did that story on his second channel a while back, and he also said something along those lines; the girl will either turn into a total pushover, or an absolute menace.
Oh damn, that was my motto in English class in middle school. The teacher wouldn't let me leave class without a punishment, even if the misbehaving child was on the other site of the room, I was the “instigator”. I just decided that since I will get punished, I should at least deserve it and have fun. Ironically, the teacher didn't know how to react and I end up misbehaving for free.
To the woman who was called egotistical for not wanting to have disabled children, NTA. If the sisters had listened to the reasoning, she said it is because she knows she would be a bad, angry, spiteful mother. That shows a great deal of humility and self awareness that her sisters should be proud of, not enraged by. It sounds like they're jealous of her situation and wish that she was in the same position as them, which doesn't sound like they view their children in the light they claim they do.
That lady wants to avoid the very thing that's birthed the phrase "All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids." And that is so emotionally mature of her to recognise her own limits. Certainly more mature than her sisters 😂 Misery loves company
Ya. I think I'm the same way. I won't be having kids anytime soon cuz me as a person can't really... Handle them. Also I REALLY hate people that try to guilt and force a person into having kids... We don't live in the middle ages, we don't HAVE to have kids to man the farm/backups and kingdom conscription for the yearly war. Let's normalize not guilting a person for enjoying there free time. ((What little we have as adults anyways))
For real. I have an evil voice in my head that tells me that if I hit a crying child, they'll stop. So no. Not having children, not putting myself anywhere around children. I understand some of the women that become abusive to their children, or are just bad mothers, because every single person in, around, near or adjacent to my life asks me why I don't have kids. Some people shouldn't be parents!
this- it’s honestly so mature to realise that you shouldn’t have kids because you’d be a bad parent. and the disability thing.. nobody WANTS a disabled child. not because they hate disabled people, but nobody wants to see their child struggle. I can only imagine how draining that would be. seeing the person you brought into the world suffer because of your genes. of course people want able bodied and healthy kids, they want them to be happy. and choosing not to have a child because of that is perfectly reasonable. not only that but it takes so much money and time- not everyone has the funds or mental capacity for that. good on her sisters for doing that but that doesn’t mean she has to do the same. and ontop of that recognising she wouldn’t be a good mother. not everybody is suited for parenthood. not having kids simply because you don’t want them is reasonable enough, nevermind the maturity it takes to admit you’d be bad at it. for me, I not only don’t like or want kids, but I know I’d be a horrible parent too. I don’t like hurting people but I cannot handle children. they overwhelm and annoy me. I’ve babysat small children before and I hate it. no child deserves a parent who doesn’t want them around and would get annoyed and snap at them. it’s better to recognise that before it’s too late
@@nevermore3193Do you have hallucinations or a disorder where you have more than one person/identity (plurality/systems/etc.)? I hope you can find treatment for that and live a healthy life. Also, good on you for not allowing yourself to be around kids if you think you may harm them. That could end badly for you and the kid.
Not only should OP continue to move forward with legal action regarding the bullying, they should go to the local news. If bullying at this level is happening to their kid, then it's not just their kid- it's a bunch of them taking this abuse with no action from the school. The public, who send their kids to this school, need to know.
In Japan, cutting someone's hair without their consent is considered a form of assault and thus illegal. Not sure how it is in America, but it's definitely grounds for a lawsuit.
@@lazykbys I know assault can be treated similarly in the US, like if some stranger came up behind you in public and cut your hair. I wouldn't be certain exactly how they could prove it was done by the student in class, especially if the teacher ignored it, so I'm not sure if assault charges would actually carry through the court given that these are little kids. A civil case like a lawsuit will almost certainly carry water, though.
As a person who was LITERALLY STRANGLED at school while being bullied. Take the legal action, that kid will need therapy to help them move forward in life (my parents didn’t and boy they regret it [ I’m serious they say so all the time ] )
My mother literally rewrote her memories thanks to a mental illness for about 20 years. She has no recollection of all the horrible things she said to me. Thankfully my friends and siblings were there and witnessed many of these interactions so I have proof I didn't make them up.
May I ask what mental illness that is? It's probably not what it is, but my father sometimes doesn't remember hurtful things he's said and done, and will make up stuff he truly believes my mom or somebody else has said or done.
maybe check your subscription tabs regularly instead of relying on a broken algorithm to put it on your homepage if you want to watch his videos on time
As a disabled person and child of a disabled person (& asked them), we literally do not give a fuck as long as you don't: 1. Make fun of disabled people 2. Abuse the use of the thing 3. Aren't pretending to be disabled. Like I'm not gonna gatekeep knife proof gloves just because I have to use them because I can't feel one hand and have very frequently hurt myself because of it. It's pretty traumatic to just find bloody handprints on counters cuz you don't realize you've almost chopped the tip of a finger off. 🤣🤣🤣 *Edit* favourite thing is how Click says 'egotistical'. I'm always like "ahhh yes, the self absorbed waffles".
Same. Don't make fun of us, don't claim your self imposed consequences are worse than our permanent issues (I've had people compare their hangover to my now 7.5 year old migraine and say I "probably have some idea of the pain they are in"), and listen when we say we don't want help.
The bullying one really got my blood boiling - they are failing to safe gaurd kids. They then act surprised the the child kill’s themselves. Schools need to take bullying seriously! Also no it wasn’t a mistake they actively chose to do fuxk all about it. Really wish people like these stop using the “I made a mistake”. I personally think school should be held accountable for when a bullied kids kills themsleves. I know this didn’t in this story but as a general thing.
They probably see it as to annoying and difficult which is messed up. They only got up and did something when they were threatened for inaction. They don’t care about the kids just taking the easiest or cheapest solution of ignoring it. Or worst, they didn’t want the bad publicity of admitting there was bullying occurring. Can’t have people know them for being that school with a bully problem
@@Nostripe361 true, however wish could say that this story is a one off…this happens wayy too much and too often :( what’s even worse is they have to go on training courses like mental health, bullying and safeguarding. It’s concerning
As someone who has and loves a disabled brother, part of the reason I don’t want kids is that I don’t want to sacrifice for that. I’m always told that I would be a great mother, but the truth is that I’ve been a caretaker since I was six. I’m finally becoming more independent in my thirties, and I am terrified of not only being a bad mom but also losing more time because someone needs me.
I was the practice kid of my teen parents, they’ve just never said it to my face, but it’s pretty obvious from their actions - Im not the most important person to neither one, never was and never will. I don’t have kids of my own, because I don’t trust myself to be a decent mother. Even if I went to live with my grandparents before I was 3, where I had some sense of love and boundaries, I still don’t feel like everything in me was fixed, for several reasons. I know my grandparents loved me, but I was still surrounded with unpredictable people with anger issues. I just cant risk it, world doesn’t need more lost kids who grow up to be sad adults. Im quite zen with myself now at nearly 50, but growing up was harder than it should’ve been. I grew up to be highly sensitive personality, always more concerned about others wellbeing and problems, mine weren’t important at all. Theres a hole in every adopted kid’s soul and you gotta put in lot of work to make it smaller, but it never really closes completely, you just learn to live with it. And Im perfectly happy to be the spoil&run auntie to my friends kids :)
I'd call CPS and report how they neglected OP, and also mention there is a newborn in the picture now. Ideally after clearing this with a friend's family and securing a place to stay for the two of them, if the friends can afford to do that. Imagine their surprise when they come home and find out their kids have been removed from their custody because of how badly they fucked up.
The unhinged story of "sitting next to picture of dead ex-husband" sounds like deliberate punishment and humiliation from the daughter towards her mother. Clearly she's not over her mother not only divorcing her father but also marrying a new man. (she might even blame her mother for the father drinking himself to death) They'd really need to have a loooong and proper talk.
The answer could be as simple as just letting her current husband sit with her and the picture. The way the Mom writes, I don't think she would mind the picture if it wasn't served with the heaping side of punishment and humiliation you mentioned.
My takeaway was that the bride needs therapy. Like "Okay mom, can you keep this picture of your dead ex around, instead of enjoying the party with your husband?" sounds like she'll kill them both in a week so the three of them can be together again.
Would it be a stretch to assume the same person also admonishes anyone who eats non-vegan food like meat or gelatin? If so, what do they expect, for non-vegans to just photosythesize their nutrients from the sun?
Imagine if they entered an asian grocery store (which they would probably consider cultural appropriation for non-asians to do) and saw the giant tofu aisle.
4:12 It’s like using the dyslexia accessible writing options on websites, I like it and it’s easier for me to read but I’m not dyslexic and will never claim to be
I use TTS and screen readers to aid my writing a lot. I am in not blind or have poor sight in any way. But it still helps me to make better decisions for something important to me. If I am being helped in that capacity, what does it matter if it is for reasons not originally thought of for the apps and programs out there? Never had a blind person try to scold me for getting help in the same way.
A lot of accessibility features wind up getting used by people who aren't disabled and it's A GOOD THING because the more a feature is used the more feedback will be given and developers will be more inclined to add them. It's a win win! Adrien's heart is probably in the right place--sensitivity and all that--but totally misapplied. He's also a creep for claiming to "allow" her to do anything.
@VanillaBean2023 I just saw a video about this, it's called the "curb cut effect"! Named after the ramps you see on sidewalks; it was originally meant for wheelchair users, but it also makes it easier for people with bikes, shopping carts, etc.!
Using dark mode on here because I'm dyslexic & autistic & dark mode helps both out, as well as avoiding strain on eyes which already need specs. If others use it because wow cool, they can go ahead & do so!!!
The school bullies story: 100% follow through. They only decided to "promise to do better" when they realized there could be consequences for their inaction. Too little, too late.
26:11 yknow that thing that circulates a lot that says "if you don't want a (insert literally anything here) child, don't have children" this is exactly why and kudos to op for knowing that about herself because too many parents resent their disabled kids Edit: this is supposed to mean "if you will no longer love your child if they're disabled, then you shouldn't have kids", not that you should necessarily want in the sense of hope for a disabled child. I've just seen the phrase circulate on the internet a lot so I repeated that, but it should probably be worded better
I don’t have kids, because I know myself. It’s not even a disability thing, I was just like the practice daughter from one of these stories and Im just too worried I would continue the cycle of neglect, not being able to show love, because I was shown it and was pretty much left to raise myself. I feel like I just cant risk it, the world doesn’t need another unhappy and lost child and I see my stance as a way to control it. Im perfectly happy to be the eccentric (Im an artist) spoil & run auntie to my friend’s kids, tho. Ps. The sad thing is how many of these friends have told me how envious they are, how I made the right choice for not having kids.. I sorta understand it, of course they don’t feel like this all the time, but it’s still so sad.
Outside of the blind community, I have never heard a parent or a parent with a disability say: "I wish my child was born with a disability." We shouldn't treat disabled people badly, but we also don't wish that our kids are disabled. This isn't a bad thing to want.
@@piecebypiece2028 my comment was more about the phrase that circulates than my personal opinion but yes your reply is right and the phrase should probably be rephrased, but the intention of it is if you will no longer want your child because they're disabled (this is also used with queer kids a lot) then you shouldn't have kids, not that if you don't want your child to be disabled, if that makes sense
@dragonswirl3579 I get what you're saying. You as a parent can't guarantee what characteristics and qualities your child will have, so if you aren't prepared to take care of a child who may be different than the an able body, straight, cisgendered individual of sound mind, it's best you don't have kids.
@moon-moth1 Exactly! I feel like these places are either ignoring the possibility of resentful parents being forced to take care of/raise a child they never wanted (and thus doing a crappy job, whether it's on purpose or not), or they just don't care as long as the baby gets born. Don't they want every child to be loved and wanted? What's the point of having children if the kids aren't wanted or loved? Population? We already have plenty of people on this planet. Dragging another life into this world only so it can suffer is a cruel and pointless thing to do. Maybe it's a "misery loves company" sort of thing: "I had to exist without my consent so now you do too."
I've had chronic pain since my early 20s. That was one of the final things that solidified to me that I should go child-free. 1. I don't have the energy to be a present parent, at least not every single day. 2. I wouldn't want to pass my pain to a child. I would hate myself for it. I have other reasons as well (the main one being I just don't want to be a parent), but for some reason, a lot of people get personally offended when I tell them that I don't plan to ever have children.
CRPS person here and I agree with you, my mom is all like who is going to take care of you when I’m gone. And I’m like that’s a terrible reason to have a child. Here is also where abelism gets nuanced. For things like Down’s syndrome and autism advocating for societal changes to accommodate them rather than a cure is absolutely the way to go, but I have yet to meet someone with a chronic pain condition that isn’t desperately searching for a cure or a way to nuke it from their genes. Anyways deciding not to have kids because you know yourself well enough that you aren’t up to being a care taker is just being responsible, thinking no one should have disabled kids or that disabled kids are a burden is when it becomes ableist.
If you haven't thought of it, here's how I manage to shut people down: It's really selfish to demand that _someone else_ rear children for _their_ piece of mind, and really ablest to insist that any disabled person doesn't understand their own abilities and capacity in any given situation-- oops, they're being selfish and ableist! They'll stop asking once they step on that kind of landmine.
I am 24, with broken family (from my parents), lots of trauma, on meds from 17 yo, chronic pain (continuous) and my relatives (who know all this) still ask me why I never want to have kids... Some people are just unreasonable and egoistic.
When my kids got to the appropriate ages, they used to insist on making their own snacks, drinks, easy meals etc. I dreaded it every single time because the kitchen was always a wreck afterwards. But i encouraged them! When they wanted to help with the dishes, i let them. Even though i had to go & rewash them all because they always done a bad job & there would be water everywhere. I wanted my kids to be capable & independent eventually, now they are!
Good on you! My parents loved me very much, but that, along with not wanting to waste time, meant I never made any food, washed dishes etc as a child. I'm over 30 and I still struggle with these kinds of basic daily things.
My brother and I were maybe 5 and 6 or so. We spilled a bottle of soda in the kitchen. mother was having a nap so we decided to mop the mess. Then we though we would be good boys and mop the entire house, with the same soda infused mop. Mom gets up and we proudly told her what we had done. She gave us this funny look but said nothing. How do you punish a good deed even when when it goes so awry. I thought it was peculiar when she moped the entire house again.
@GusBried my parents often left me home alone from a very young age so they could work so I had no choice but to learn to be independent. I resent them for that, but I'm glad of the skills I learned if that makes sense. So I wanted to try & give my kids the skills, just without the neglect. As a parent, it's hard to know what's for the best. You want to provide & cater to your kids every need. But also it's best for them to sometimes step back & just clean up their messes (which there are many lol)
@heleninglis9961 Yeah, my parents mistakes were entirety an overcorrection for their hard lives. I feel angry at them for it sometimes, but I try not to show it, since it's not a very reasonable anger, for mistakes made out of love... Plus, I'm an adult, hard or not, it's on me to learn how to be better at this point 😅. It sounds like you found the right balance of not repeating mistakes vs not overcorrecting, so once again, good on you!
28:02 Literally all she said on the topic of disability was that she doesn't think she's equipped to handle a disabled child, which she is statistically likely to have with their family history
But if she doesn't have any children that means having children was a choice and that means her sisters will have to live with the knowledge that the suffering of their children and the hardship in their own lives were the result of choices they made. If she also has children on the other hand they can just pretend that it was an inevitability.
The orphan girl who was bullied at school story makes me rage. This girl was assaulted and will have to live with this experience for the rest of her life. The teachers and parents of the bullys should be thankful that legal consequences will be the only things they face.
"but snow white is so beautiful, and my princess idol" -Little kid "you fucked up my kitchen because you wanted hotdogs, you will become the hotdog" -their mom
Click is absolutely right about fake apologies from people who are cornered. People are a lot like companies and corporations in that they won't change bad behavior unless you force them to face the consequences of their actions. They may apologize when confronted and might even follow through when you back off but it won't last. In about three weeks they'll be back to the bad behaviors and nothing will have changed and nothing resolved.
@jaxscales6158 @gabbydafurry Or they mean the Witch King. Y'know. The costume. The Witch King of Angmar popping off with "Ya Boy" is not a thing I'd ever think of either LMAO
'Give them a chance' SHE DID, she gave them so many she decided to go through the legal route! I have a genetic condition that causes me to have fragile bones, and when I was in third grade (for my safety) I was put in a wheelchair at school, since everyone knew I could walk the bulling started, it was never physical, but I would come home from school, cry and beg to not go back. (I was a weird kid that loved school, so saying that told my mom it was serious for me). My mom went to the principal, he said 'kids will be kids' she was like bullshit. She recorded a small documentary about someone else who had the condition (way worse than me) and made my principal show it to all the kids i my grade, I was out that day, and after that ... The bullying stopped. At least, any obvious to my face kind. And that was enough for me. Yeah, kids can be assholes, but general if you give them proper education about how horrible what they are doing is they'll stop. (Not always, of course). As I said, I'm disabled. At 30yrs old I have NAVER HAD A JOB AND NEVER CAN HAVE A JOB, literally. At a disability hearing a job coach person said, point blank (after hearing all the testimony from my doctors, and not even all of them) there is nowhere, no job that would actually have me, because of all my disabilities. My mom, who had most of the same disabilities often told me she felt guilty for having me, because she didn't know how bad some of them could be, and how bad they would be for me. She loved me, dearly, she just felt guilty about all I had to go through because she had me. Recognizing that you wouldn't be a good parent, especially to a disabled child is NOT ABLEIST. If more parents, those who do and don't have disabled children, had been more honest to themselves about their capabilities there would be a lot less abused and neglected children. My mom loved me for all she was worth, but she felt so guilty at all I had to go through, she never resented having to care for me, she did however also feel guilty that my older brother ended up feeling like he was a bit less loved because of all the extra care I needed. He wasn't afflicted with the same disabilities. My mom did what she could to try and show him that she loved him just as much, and when we got older he understood better (we are only a 1 1/2 apart) But, as a child myself I made the decision I was never having biological children because of them likely ending up like me, and in my family it's gotten more severe with each generation. And, a few years ago I made the choice to never adopt like I'd origanlly wanted, because even if I feel I could do a good job with 'parenting' the amount of times I would be absent solely because of my disabilities I came to the conclusion it wouldn't be a good thing for the children. They didn't need anyone else not being there for them. This person is just honest about their capabilities. I literally clapped when Click read out 'I feel I would be an angry and spiteful parent because of being upset for having to sacrifice like my family has, and no one deserves that.' because I was like 'Thank you for knowing yourself, and making choices for the best of children you don't even have!'
I would've thought you could take smth like a remote tech job, since you wouldn't need to move much. Also i feel bad for immediately thinking of the glass bones and paper skin guy from spongebob
@@ThingInTheHall Managing a certain level of disability can be a full time job in and of itself. Not to mention exhausting and you pay the price for every failure or oversight in your own body, and can never take a vacation from caring for yourself. It's not fair to expect someone to work a full time job for their living on top of that. OP is lucky that was recognized by the person evaluating them. Social support systems (in the U.S. at least) aren't well funded enough to support most of the people who need it.
@@ThingInTheHall Not far off, on the bones. Lol. They're not as bad as that, for me. However I have a mild version. I've only broken around a hundred in my 30 years. (don't have exact count for two reasons. I stopped caring about the exact number when it hit the 80's. Also, there have been many times in my life I've been imaged for a possible break and found healed breaks I was unaware of) Aside from not really being any good with tech, unfortunately the breaking isn't all. When I was 2 I was diagnosed with arthritis, and I have chronic pain from all the breaks. I have depression, anxiety and chronic migraines, all of which can be incredibly debilitating on their own and worse together. (depression, chronic pain and migraines literally, as in scientifically proven, feed into each other and make it worse for each other. Fun right?) And, seriously don't feel bad for the SpongeBob thought, thinking of it in sarcastic ways, is a great coping mechanism. I used to jokingly ask my family and friends to trade body parts with me.
@@danakchampion Yep. And making plans can be really difficult. Am I going to feel able to doing something that day? I have no clue. So, generally I have to wait until the day of before I can say 'Yeah, I'm going to this family function' or something. I've had to miss out on a lot just because of my issues.
It's very possible that mother had an altered memory. Guilt and trauma can both effect memories and sometimes our minds will adjust as a survival instinct to prevent us having to face things like guilt when we know we have done something terrible. It's why some people will lie if caught doing something, they're not necessarily lying intentionally but as a survival instinct.
Pretty sure my mother does this. It's a bad coping mechanism, though, since it's basically just abandoning any personal responsibility and going, "feelings are hard uwu 🥺. What if I just... didn't let myself feel them?😝". Its kind of like when teanagers have that mentality of "nothing bad will ever happen TO ME, so therefore, it can't possibly happen to anyone else, especially not someone I CARE about!" I can't tell you how many stupidly dangerous things my parents let me do as a small child because of this mentality. Parents/people like this literally get others killed but will still claim, "Well, I (the neglectful/abusive person) feel bad about their death, therefore I'M the BIGGEST victim here! I couldn't possibly believe that MY actions got them killed! Simply unFATHOMable!!" Once in a blue moon you can start to see the gears of personal responsibility turning in their brain and out of nowhere they will bring up the traumatic event in a complete freakout meltdown to just be like, "IT WASNT ME!! IT COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN ME!?!! 😀🤯🤡" Then the next day, be right back to Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss-ing their way through life. Obfuscating all responsibly.
One day i was taking some weights off the roof(had leaks, we put tarps over it, held down with the weights) i was a bit too lazy with it tho, smahsed a pvc pipe below the ladder, water rushing out, thankfully there was a shut off valve very close by. Figured, "meh I'll get in trouble for it soon anyway..." and just cleaned up and went back inside however no one noticed for like months. When one day my mom was like, "why is there a busted pipe in the yard?" I freaked out and instantly lied "huh that's weird I don't know"(or smth like that, it was shit lie trust me and i was being sus) but she let it slide for some reason. Point of the story being, people are cowards and will lie to save their ass(whether that means avoid shame, embarrassment, pain, etc.)taruma or not.
@@olivinemage4233 That sounds like more than just altered memory. That sounds like a ton of mental conditions and baggage that's never been properly sorted out.
@@AIHumanEquality yep the kid looked "happy" in photos due to being forced to smile, and my guess is if she started to cry then they would have to stay home and not go trick or treating
19:23 Well, that's physical a'ssault and typically perpetrators get suspended or even expelled. Absolutely maddening that the school continually allowed it. They are opening themselves up for a lawsuit, and they would deserve it.
I also feel like the school already had their chance, but they just paid lip service with “looking into it”. The bully’s parents might’ve not known before, but the school certainly did and I feel they totally deserve the lawsuit. I hate how nowadays it seems like the only way to get authorities care is to get publicity, hate it with passion! We humans should be better than that.
Ah yes. Using personal features and harmless options because you don't have a specific disability. Definitely equal to parking in a handicap spot. What an AH. I can say as a half blind person myself, how dare you use accessibility features that don't affect me in the least. The audacity.
The issue with handicap spots is that there's a limited amount of them, so parking in there when you don't need it deprives others who do need of that spot. The same is not true for accessibility features on a freaking phone. Somehow, a lot of people fail to understand this. (You're not one of them, I'm agreeing with you, and trying to further add to your point.) Also, people really need to leave the policing of handicap spots to the actual police, because chances are that a random Karen isn't going to be able to tell whether or not a person actually needs that freaking parking spot. Not everyone who needs them is visibly missing both legs.
I always wonder, if the people in question finds these types of videos, looks in the comments and mistakes all the satire comments as being literal. and inflating their ego. funny story tho.
Right? If you park in a handicap spot you are often using the only accessible spot for your personal convenience handicapped spots are a limited resource and often insufficient for the handicapped population. That is wildly different than people using ramps for baby carriages which increases the use of those ramps making it more likely they are built in more locations is just an overall good. A ramp doesn’t have limited uses, if more people use a feature the more likely the feature will be added in the future, as long as you aren’t using it before or instead of a disabled person who needs it go ham.
@ookamiblade6318 Depends on the ramp. Metal and concrete ramps usually last a long time but wooden ones can be subject to detoriating if not well maintained. I agree with your overall point just adding this in there.
Ysing the color blind filter is actually a really good thing. It sjows greater interest and means more filters will be made available. Like buying glutan free goods. The more people buy them, the more are made.
@@oakenshadow6763 Except in the case of buying gluten free things you shouldn't buy it if you don't need it. You're just depriving yourself of nutrients at that point. Quite different from just using features on a phone.
@@AIHumanEquality There's also the risk that people take the gluten-free thing less seriously if people just do it as some kind of weird lifestyle thing. What's the harm in putting gluten in the gluten-free food option when the people who order/buy it aren't actually suffering from celiac disease? Well, maybe a person who actually has that disease might order/buy the food and get horribly sick. The same cannot be said for colorblind filters. (Also just because some people care about this, yes I am indeed colorblind myself. Redblind.)
Gluten isn't a necessary nutrient. I'm not allergic to it, but it can cause bloating if you eat too much of it even without being allergic. There's nothing wrong with choosing gluten free just for variety.
@@Vincent_Beers Bloating is caused by a chemical reaction of foods that don't mix very well in the stomach. If you're only eating gluten and experiencing bloating there's a possibility you're allergic because that's not a normal reaction. I'm not certain if you understand what allergy/allergic means. An allergy is when your body produces an adverse reaction to certain foods or other substances most often it results in the immune system going haywire. Bloating as I mentioned can actually be a sign of allergies particularly with gluten or lactose.
I'm sure the MIL not coming to her grandson's birthday party will really ruin the day. How will they ever be able to live without her there to make everything about her?
This Halloween I went as a Templar Knight, and my dad called the police or something and asked if I was allowed to carry my sword on me, and luckily it was allowed for Halloween. The chainmail destroyed my shoulders.
22:05 Adding onto it, they both went to 'fix' it at once, meaning they are all completely aware they're guilty in this situation. Just another thing to add onto it.
That first one makes me wonder if that dude uses dark mode on his devices. As somebody with astigmatism who has to use this to be able to read screens, I want to be pretend offended toward him so badly.
Wait, dark mode helps with astigmatism? I have it, though in a way that I don't know what if any symptoms may be because of it rather than nearsightedness.. I also use dark mode just because, are you saying I have a legit reason to prefer it? 😂
@@GusBried If I remember correctly, dark mode kinda reduces the amount of light flooding your eyes, so it might feel comfortable for some people to use "just cuz".
@@GusBried In my case, it reduces the "ghosting" I see when reading text. If I'm reading black against white, I get this double-vision effect that makes it look like there's a copy of the letters floating just above the actual text. This doesn't happen with white against black/dark gray. I use the Catppuccin Mocha color scheme on anything I possibly can for this reason. It uses soft pastels against dark grays, and it's super easy on the eyes.
@@Joomluh12 ...I legit just had one of those "wait, not everyone has this?" moments... It's totally on me for not looking it up until being prompted by your comment, but I just assumed the slight blur was because I spend most of the day on screens... The streetlights are probably cause of how glasses refract light... And I spent some time looking up milder dark themes for some of the daily software I use cause I'm fussy... You have accidentally opened my (slightly blurry) eyes!
@@GusBried Ha, glad to be of help! I actually had this same experience the last time I went to the optometrist. When they were testing my eyes, I described this effect to them, and they were like "oh yeah, that's just astigmatism". I had gone the majority of my life not knowing I had it, and just assumed that corrective lenses could only work so well at correcting.
OMG - controlling partner & accusations of ableism in the first story - here we are, right out of the gate! Ditch him cause he’s a walking red flag - Also, Click’s point about increasing the use of the accessibility features to improve the metrics was exactly what I was thinking. Colour filters are not a limited resource.
First post: using accessibility features, and non intrusive aid items (think fidget spinners, slap chops, various bits like that, as opposed to wheelchairs) when not disabled actually helps disabled people, as companies can see the useage rates beung high and thus justify investing in/maintaintaing those features, and keep production going on the aid items, whilst the main population destigmatises those accessibility features and aid items and thus disabled people aren't ashamed to or bullied for using them. So yeah Omega NTA, and boyfriend is Omega TA plus is toxic.
Love how you included posts where OP was in the wrong, I don’t really like it when people only include the ones where the others are in the wrong. Thank you!
Mom dating: I was in a similar situation. When I was 15 my mom died of cancer. 6 months later, I came home and my dad had brought home a woman to meet me; she's now my step-mom. She's a sweet woman, and now that my dad's gone, she doesn't HAVE to have anything to do with me anymore, but she WANTS me around. I never said anything. I wanted my dad to be happy. However, I also have found as I got older that I resented him for it, and it was PART of the reason we had such a strained relationship as we got older. A similar thing also happened with my cousins, and the only thing that saved that relationship between them and their mother was that she divorced the man a few years later (but only because he was abusive toward her kids). Anyway, I can't help but feel like the situation could lead to similar resentment, and tbh things need to be worked through between parent and child before dating should be attempted by the parent.
I use them because English isn't my first language, and while I'm pretty fluent, sometimes there's a word, or an accent, or a turn of phrase I don't get, and seeing it written helps.
They were a great help when I was learning English and German. Put on an English program with English subtitles f.i and you get the benefit of seeing the words while hearing them making it easier to memorize them.
I absolutely love subtitles. I have a hard time watching TV without them, even in my native language. I have no hearing difficulties, but my insides flip if someone is loud in my vicinity and I miss something, but with subtitles, I don't miss it and my insides don't freak out. Subtitles keep me sane. 😅
I use them because sometimes I don’t understand what was said due to accents, loud background music, fast speech and I have to admit I’m in my 60s and might not hear quite as well as I did while being far from deaf.
24:08 I am disabled and my mom had to leave her job because of it. She always lives anxious of something happening and asks if i feel alright even if im just chilling because I have very fragile inmune system, but honestly I respect her for that I also wouldn’t want my child going to the hospital every day. So onto the story I respect your opinion you lose time to do anything other than take care of your child, and you can get serious mental health issues NTA.
How aren't they wanted? They are definetly wanted because if they weren't they wouldn't be adopted. Also what means choosen? Adoption of a human person is not adoption for a dog you don't get to choose, if anything the birth person would choose (the person that birthed the kid would choose if you are fit or not).
@@daniel-teodorcirca7524 He's talking about the bulliers, in the situation that OP the child was, this person thought this line to be the best comeback to the harrasment*
@@newcheese9882 First part I know what they ( is not a gendered name what they have) is talking about but it is not a good line. The best thing is to not try to excaladate the situation but to involve authorities and/or find a way to get along. The best thing I think I would do in the case I wouls have a kid in this situation is to try to have a weekend together with the parents of the bully, usualy it is a main one, and to try to understand what went wrong, maybe is just that your kids don't get along but it might be that the other kid is grown in a toxic eveiroment. Kids can be mean but if you try to find the reason why they have some type of behaveiour you can change that easier than if they grow up having it. Corecting at younger age is better than corecting letter when you might be unable. Also they might feel better after.
As a disabled child to abled parents- The concept of us being only a blessing and never being a burden is entirely a lie. I am both physically and mentally disabled. It's.. not as severe as it could be, but enough that like.. I can't fully take care of myself. I will forget to both eat and buy food. I cannot drive. I will always depend on someone else in my life. Having even a more mildly disabled child means you could be taking care of someone until you literally die and thats a very serious very big thing. I refuse to have any children, and am willing to force a miscarriage if it goes that far because I have chronic pain among the rest of everything and knowing it's very possible any child i would birth might be in pain 24/7 I believe it is cruel to make that happen. This is also ignoring personal risk and me being a trans male whos natural hormones are fucked up to the point that periods make me genuinely suicidal. So like, it's not just abled people that think about this and choose not to have children because they are likely going to be disabled. also your body your choice and allat.
Something I struggle to understand is how much a scarcity mindset exists in society. As someone who uses text-to-speech because of vision loss, a sighted person trying out VoiceOver or playing with Dark Mode, or changing the font size on their phone settings is not going to change the fact that I have permanently damaged optic nerves. Someone who benefits from those types of settings, whether out of necessity or or otherwise, does not take away from my experience with using those same settings. This kid’s heart is in the right place, but damn…chill out dude… 4:41
The story about the sisters shunning the one who doesn't want kid: I have a strong feeling that they are projecting and haven't come to term with the fact that some of their children are disabled because THEY took a risky gamble on their health, either because they only cared about having blood-related children or because adopting is a lot of work and money.
42:26 i have a controversial take on the pants down thing. I would have taken it literally...not a sexual thing or to make anyone embarrassed. I struggle with hints and dont realize when people are being figurative. This could genuinely be just a misunderstanding of they were told
Yeah, it was an honest mistake. What makes the person the butthole is the fact that they seem to have defended it a bit too hard and not truly apologized after, being more like "I'm sorry you feel that way" instead of "I'm sorry my actions embarrassed you", if you understand what I mean
@@iclynnx No, they were still trying to understand whether they should've known or not. They didn't take those concerns to the friend and undermine the apology, they took them to reddit to get advice.
I agree. I get that the result was bad and an apology is needed but sometimes doing something that requires an apology doesn't mean you were a jerk either. Sometimes it means that you genuinely did not and could not have known better, things went wrong, and now you just have to make it right. They didn't do anything bad, it's just that this didn't turn out to be the right course of action. I really don't think setting your friend on fire is comparable to them telling you to pull their pants down during a comedy show, and then you actually pull their pants down. Like... where is the limit? What if they were told to splash water onto him? Would that have been too far? If he said to slap his butt? I have seen these things on comedy shows before, I've even seen the pants pulling. I don't understand how you're supposed to know which of these things aren't allowed when they're actively telling you to do it. And who would think to mime themselves pulling his pants down? "Haha, they made a motion near his pants that looks like the motion you'd make when pulling them down! Funny!" No man, the audience would just be confused what happened and what the joke is!
I was also obsessed with Snow White in my youth, went through a year of criticising every Disney princess, and since I've learned a lot of things. First off, historical context for when the movie was made, people needed hope. So that's why the character of Snow White is so blissfully cheerful. Second, SHE'S 14 YEARS OLD, do you know how many 14 year olds knew even less than what she did when she got almost m*rdered when I was at school? Also, she was sheltered from everything, apparently from birth. She seemingly didn't interact with other people, she was forced to work as a slave in her own home, and presumably she wasn't allowed to study. What was she supposed to do when the person in charge of her home suddenly wants her dead? Plot revenge? Become a sword prodigy out of nowhere? Make an elaborate plan to take back her kingdom? She was a child! She would have been getting her period for maybe three or four years! She was an innocent and cheerful child who literally couldn't know any better. When she runs away she's justifiably terrified by everything around her but cheers herself up. She's a good role model because she's also so unbothered by everything. Like there's Grumpy being a bitter old man that even his mates can't stand him, being all huffy and puffy, and she's all like, "Ah, well, not my problem. Let me just make fun of him a little," and she literally is never even scared of him. Also she never expects anything for free and that's why she tries doing what she knows how to do (housework) to convince the inhabitants of the house that she deserves a chance to stay. She's unbelievable kind to all that come near her. Being kind, hardworking and resilient sound like pretty good things to have in a role model. So what if she's a hopeless romantic for a man she saw once? She's been neglected for years and suddenly there's this beautiful man taking interest in and talking kindly to her, what was she supposed to do?
Omg yes! If you put the princesses in their full context, for the most part they're not vapid pretty airheads, they're kids in a story where their whole life is hardship and then something extraordinary happens that no one would know how to deal with. I have mad respect for Snow White and also Aurora (and Prince Phillip who gets no credit for being a BAMF)
On the other hand the prince is a terrible person. She is a kid, she is in a bad moment and he just goes by and kiss her, no consent included, abd probably desire more but it is a kid movie so will we not know.
The hotdog story reminded me of my favourite saying: the axe forgets, but the tree remembers. It's very easy for something that, for the parent, was just a sucky Tuesday, for the child, is a formative childhood experience.
This is so true. My mom has overall been very wonderful but the worst thing she ever did, she doesn’t even remember. I forgive her because again that was an outlying situation but it’s so crazy how that works
Exactly. It's just normal for them, but memorable for us. I still remember what it's like to have untreated pinkeye for two weeks, they insist I never had pinkeye. I would rather get hot sauce in my eyeballs again than go through that again (yes, I somehow managed to get hot sauce in my eyes once, I have "skills").
When it comes to tech generally its better to have more people using an accessibility feature even if they dont have the disability it was designed for. A more popular feature is more likely to be kept in future updates and added to future products.
Colourblind people unite!! As a fellow colour blind person the more people using the filter the more companies will include the options in apps and games.
I love that I've been able to find multiple games lately that explicitly have a "misophonia mode" or allow you to solely turn off the Eating/Drinking sound effects! I can't adequately explain the vindictive rage that floods through my body when I hear chewing or crunching sounds, ESPECIALLY when it's the first thing on a UA-cam video or they don't give me a chance to see it coming and hit mute. It's involuntary and immutable.
Not just "bad"... Because she'll just make herself the victim and feel mistreated! She needs to feel REMORSE, until she does, she deserves nothing from OP.
@21:12 As I recall, cutting off someone hair in the US is considered assault. If that's the case, saying you've removed/distanced the perpetrator of the assault after the fact still means the assault happened. That would be like the police stopping a beating AFTER the beating has happened. It's too late.
20:08 something very similar happened to my dad in highschool, except instead of cutting his hair they cut his wrists. the school nurse gave him a plaster (band-aid) and sent him back to class. after nearly passing out from blood loss was he sent home sick. my grandmother came into the school asking for the kid to be disciplined and expelled but all the bully got was a slap on the wrist. my dad could have died and they did nothing. schools that slap kids on the wrist for literal ASSAULT whether it be cutting someones hair or cutting their wrists need to be held way more accountable than they are. disgusting.
Yep. At another school in my district a bunch of seniors decided to beat up a 6th grader for fun (no seriously, the younger kid did absolutely nothing to them, they just jumped him because he was there and they could). They punched him unconscious, punched his friend who used his body as a shield, attacked the teachers who pulled them off the kids, attacked the security guards who pulled them off the teachers, and two of them even attacked the cops who pulled them off the security guard. So what did the school do about the 6th graders? Oh yeah, suspend them "for being involved in a fight", despite neither kid fighting back. They deadass called the parents like "We're suspending your child for being involved in a fight, oh and you can meet the ambulance at the hospital". The one kid was admitted directly to the ICU and spent over a week there, the second kid was less injured and discharged the next day. The seniors (many of whom were adults) were given the same amount of suspension as the 6th graders. The only two who faced actual punishment were the ones who punched the cops (they were both 18), the rest only got restraining orders against the kids they hospitalized, and that's no punishment at all. Hell their parents got a worse punishment, because they got stuck with the ICU bill, even the students who were adults. This was over a decade ago and they are probably still paying off that bill. The parents had to threaten to sue the school to get the suspensions against the 6th graders dropped. (I don't know if they still sued or not, just that the threat of a lawsuit got it dropped).
10:26 just another parent that tells a perspective that they think is better than the actual kid’s. Edit: it’s about adults not seeing their kids as people.
That bullying story reminds me of my childhood. I was bullied back in middle school one day I had enough of it and I punched that kid in the stomach he lost his lunch (my lunch that he had taken) and I ended up down the hall on my back with a swelling black eye after his friends beat me up after I punched the ring leader. I was the one suspended for a month and had to make that month back up with summer school, so I wouldn't be held back a grade. The next year, my parents moved me to a different school. As far as the bully goes, he got two weekends of detention, and his parents had to pick him up from the principles office every day for the rest of the year. No other disciplinary actions were taken on himand this was after months of him bullying me and me reporting him and his little gang to the principle and ultimately to the superintendent of the school district. That was nearly 35 years ago. I am glad that at the time, I didn't know what being transgender was, or I may not be alive right now.
30:37 I'm almost 37 (f) and me and my SO are child free and I have that conversation a lot about why I don't have kids. I love children and we wanted kids, but due to our economical standing we knew we couldn't care for a child like they deserve so we simply haven't. I have nieces and nephews that I adore and I get to spend time with and that fills that space in my heart. I may have children yet, but for now it's not something I can afford to do without making my child suffer.
21:47 As my father once said, There is an apology, which comes from actual regret. There is an apology that is not actually an apology And there is an apology that is only meant to pacify, in an effort to evade consequences for their actions.
Schools these days are weird…. “We want to tackle bullying!” yet do anything they can to not deal with bullying. Worse you’re teaching the bullied kids that adults/authority figures don’t care about you, so the kid ends up blaming themselves (consciously or not). Due to moving around a lot I was usually targeted for bullying… although I learnt to fight for myself at a young age (be it physically or just talked it out). Unfortunately bullying is a generational thing and I don’t think there will be an easy fix (beyond tackling it at a young age). 🤷🏻♂️
The bullying story got me twice because 1) I am also adopted and 2) my friend faced severe bullying that the administration did nothing about. The actions made by these third parties are vile. Good on the mom
I'm not colorblind, but I like high contrast. It's your personal device. Use what you like. Also using a setting on your phone isn't using up resources for people that need it. Adrian's throwing up some red flags though.
The verbal abuse is assault, the pony tail cutting is battery. That's an assault and battery with minor physical harm. If the scissors used were brandished as a threat, you can toss on a weapons charge as well. That story is a misdemeanor and potentially a couple felonies all in one. If there's multiple incidents you can tack on harassment and stalking as well. Should be able to get a restraining order while awaiting trial. those bullies wouldn't even be allowed back on school grounds while op was there if it was all correctly reported and not just ignored.
@@Vincent_Beers I honestly hope it goes this far. People need to learn that bullying is NOT okay at any age. If there were more consequences maybe people who stop. Maybe.
27:23 ohhh boy. My mom, in the mid 40s, didn’t start walking normally. They diagnosed her with cerebral palsy on symptoms. Her dad, when she was 16, developed walking difficulties. Based on symptoms they said ALS until the “he’s dead” thing, happily, wasn’t a sign. Multiple sclerosis, based on symptoms. That only affected voluntary muscles below the waist. When I was 19, Grandpa was a paraplegic and Mom could do a few steps with adequate walking aids. I tested negative for all the “horses,” as the doctor training saying goes. We had a dominant gene zebra. And Dad’s sister with the disabling chronic illnesses and the asthma from Mom’s sis? If I rolled on the conditions in my family tree (D&D style) and so often for the hard option I would smash that die. I usually quite enjoy living. I also cannot give a decent life to a child with a random half of my issues. Especially given trends in the USA politics and the worldwide issues that we can’t stem at this point. I do support those who do feel secure enough to handle a condition they know intimately whether as a patient or as say a sibling who was only a carrier who saw both a sibling and their parents deal with the condition. As well as those who will love their nibblings and donate towards the research/treatment/aid (the last the help getting respite care or housing for adults or grants to made homes accessible etc) but are not having an affected child from their genetic stock.
I hate that "think horses" thing. If you hear hoofbeats, it's *probably* horses, but it could be cattle or deer or zebras and you won't actually know what it is unless you look out the window. So please, for the love of professionalism: LOOK OUT THE WINDOW.
@ fortunately, I had doctors who did the full tests for horses, and then did the tests available for cattle, and then tested for the zebras they were aware of. They looked through the medical literature available to aid them in identifying zebras. At the time that was something largely requiring they have it on paper (print journals/books). Which is all what they should do. I had 3 colonoscopies as a child because the teachers of the gastroenterologists I was sent to weren’t told about Celiac because they (the medical schools) thought it was a zebra, not a cow (obviously I live somewhere that cows… are more likely than horses but the phrase is the base sooo…). When my legs went weak they did MRIs, they tested for autoimmune diseases, they hit a wall because, in part, Mom insisted on coming to every neurological appointment as as a child she had some negative experiences with the specialty, (I was 19, had been doing the rest solo or parent on site but not interacting with anyone save small talk with a receptionist we knew from outside). And Mom voided the “do we do extra checks based on genetic conditions” idea saying cerebral palsy. Didn’t mention her condition had progressed, by far, etc. Testing for horses, first round, gets most people getting proper treatment fast without bankrupting them. Doing cattle next, same. The zebras… one of the few things I want AI doing is running through the over 2,000-plus Rare Diseases with a person’s symptom list and giving specialists a list to begin pursuing when they keep getting negative test results
I can relate to being the "practice" child being the oldest. I had to work summers to get a used Xbox and was yelled at for swaping from an Engineering major to a history one. Meanwhile my sisters got pre built gaming PCs and are either not in college or taking photography. Im expected to work 40hr a week while taking classes because they made my middle sister live with me, who can only doordash because she refuses to work weekends, apply for jobs using websites, or even apply for Foodstamps
Right?! Think about the kid! Think about what their life will be like, for THEM not for YOU as a parent, before you decide to become a parent! That's a PERSON you're creating! (I mean it depends on what the health issue is, exactly, and in what country they're gonna live, etc., so there's context to take into account, but charging blindly ahead and acting like none of this matters is not the way!)
@@theuncalledfor Before my spouse and I got married we talked about exactly this, and what we would do if we found out a kid of ours would be disabled either by prenatal diagnostics or just by raising the kid and seeing what issues turn up in the course of life. For prenatal, there's a decision to be made about termination or continuing. For once they're born, there are decisions on how to handle the responsibilities we as parents would have for our kids, including whether to seek professional in-home care or even a residential care placement, if we felt we could not adequately handle all of them ourselves. I think we need to normalize couples having conversations like this before they start having sex (if pregnancy is a possibility), never mind before they get married.
Exactly! I feel the same about the "autism is a superpower" bs. And the thing is, this rhetoric is mostly used by parents who secretly resent having to care for disabled children, but also feel guilty for this resentment, so they delulu themselves into thinking "disability is a blessing" because they don't actually know how to emotionally cope with the struggle.
@@LettiKiss I didn't know this. I thought it was folks like us telling us we could capitalize on our perceptual and related strengths to do things that most (NT) people can't, so we don't have to see our condition solely as a disability. I'm not a huge fan of the rhetoric regardless.
School story: Take them to court and nail their asses to the wall! The school won't do a darned thing to fix things for the better for the whole school system unless and until they're held accountable for their consistent negligence. I'm speaking from experience. Back in the 90's, my former friend was dyslexic. She was in regular classes with an IEP (individual education program) and was getting harassed by both the teachers and the students. The school payed lip service to her IEP, but didn't really give all of the required accommodations. Her mom tried everything to get the school to do their due diligence before getting an attorney and taking them to court, but they just did the same thing they always did, which is the same thing the school in the story did: "Well, we talked to everyone, and we'll start trying to respect her accommodations, so please don't sue us." After the hearing, and getting their collective asses nailed to the wall, the school started implementing necessary and sorely needed inclusionary policies: ALL IEPs started getting followed to the letter, 'sensitivity' classes for all of the teachers, better accessibility for physical disabled students, and a new, district-wide anti-bullying campaign. Oh, and the teacher who had been bullying her either got suspended without pay for the rest of the year (the hearing took place in February or March) or outright fired. Sadly, I can't remember which. The inclusionary policies are still in place, but the school system just does the bare minimum to be in compliance, and people with special needs children still have to go in to the school and fight with them about the school's interpretation of what the child's needs are versus the doctor's and parent's interpretations. They don't want to get sued again, but they don't want to have to actually be considerate of the needs of others. Don't let the guilt tripping and the nay-sayers get to you,and keep moving forward with the lawsuit. It shouldn't have to get to the point of threatening a lawsuit to get them to address blatant physical assault in their school. If they won't deal with problems appropriately on their own, then make them deal with being forced to handle problems appropriately with the state breathing down their necks. Your daughter deserves better than what the school is currently willing to do. MAKE them do better, with the help of the justice system. Be the badass mom she needs you to be so she doesn't completely loathe her school years.
These people, especially the parents, really upset me and reminds me of this quote I heard: “every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserve a child.”
With the Iceland one it seems more nuanced. He invited his girlfriend to come and see the northern lights. If he pays for her (as it would be wrong to make her pay considering how this trip came about) even if the friend had any romantic intentions that would be completely destroyed and they could have had a nice memory made inspite of her. While the right thing is not to go if the GF doesn't come, I don't know how I feel about taking away your partners opportunity to see the northern lights as well as the opportunity to see the northern lights yourself for what reason?
The intro worked out AMAZINGLY, even if the suit is not the best, the delivery of "but I can smell" and what followed is an amazing combination of both LoTR and the usual Click intro. You're an incredibly creative man for such category of content. And very wholesome. Your community is a safe soace for me.
19:49 from my experience, schools barely do anything to help with bullying. I hope the daughter in this story ends up doing alright and the bullies leave her the hell alone.
Every post in this subreddit is either "AITA for stealing my friends cookie?" or "AITA for committing systematic genocide on a minority group?", and there is no in between.
No, it's more like "aita for getting upset at my friend stealing my cookie?" Or "aita for killing my neighbors dog cause it was annoying me?"
Don't forget the classic third "My friend burned down my house and killed my dog, and now he's mad at me for being upset, AITA?"
@@RGC_animation AITA for setting the planet on fire.
AITI for eating a baby because it touched me?
@@Pintochun That depends if you're homo sapien or a carnivore.
first story: The INSTANT that boy said he wouldn't "allow" his gf to have a specific color setting on her phone... Girl. Immediately No. Throw away the whole boyfriend. It's a freaking phone setting.
Yes, the use of the word "allow" is an absolute no-go in a relationship.
@@desperadox7565 it depends on the relation ship like if they allow them to bring there pet over or use there card/car to get food or takeout
This guy seems like he's attempting to sound progressive to hide the fact that he's toxic.
That was such a hostile response that I feel like there's more going on with him, but not in a good way. This was a power grab (on top of virtue signaling) when they're supposed to be partners, and there's a big difference between "I won't allow you to get scammed by this call center" and "I won't allow you to like the color yellow." Yikes forever!
Samesies. I was like: This is starting out hot. You could side against the guy for the "You shouldn't drive if you can walk, because some people can't walk" argument or for the "You're not my boss; I don't need your permission" angle. But then she said he's refusing to talk to her now, and I'm shrugging, "Sometimes the trash takes itself out. But you shouldn't want to."
In the hotdog story, the mom definitely failed as a parent (in that moment) and then gaslit herself into thinking she was the good guy.
She also sabotaged the ballet recital long before she had time to rewrite the memory in her head. If I understood correctly, the children had to pick princesses to portray, suggesting that when someone doesn't show up as Snow White, but as a hotdog, there's going to be an awkward performance.
My own mother is also prone to making up stories. She appears genuinely confused when multiple people contradict one of her stories. Physical evidence that contradicts her version of events is subject to close scrutiny, lots of silent pondering, and then eventual acceptance.
I'd love to hope that, when the mom was later looking at the pictures from that incident and crying, she was thinking, "My God, what have I done?" but it seems sadly unlikely...
@@hestiathena4917 I think that was the case
My Mom literally hears yes when I say no. This is 100% something she would do. So many times I've gotten upset when my Mom tries to rewrite what happened in my head.
The commenter who was like:
“I would be resisting the urge to tell him that his stupidity was insensitive to people who actually have intellectual disabilities”
I love their kind of petty
Yeah that's a fantastic comeback lol.
That was gold ♡
Honestly it’s pretty funny and iconic as someone who does have learning disabilities 😂❤
@@Suited_Nat As someone who also has a learning disability, I agree.
@@Mar_Selcouth Yep
28:00 It sounds like the family thinks OP is saying "I don't want to have a disabled kid because ew disabled people" when they are really saying "I recognize I dont have the mental/emotional ability or desire to care for a child that needs extra support"
They are very different attitudes.
Thats the exact point. There is nothing wrong with having a disabled kid. They can live life normally and be just joys to be around just like any other kid. But they require work and not everyone can do this.
Its a good thing that she is admitting to herself that she probably couldn't take care of one. Because if you aren't ready for it, if your dont have that ability. It can make your kid's disability feel so much worst.
Because not only your everyday is difficult, but they are going to grow up to think that they are dragging people down and being a blunder. Which isnt a feeling anyone would want to experience.
I hope those parents comes around, they dont seem like bad people. They just don't know how important it is for a disabled kid to have parents who understand and supports them.
Yep, my husband and I talked very early on in our relationship about not having kids and the why's of it. We each had already known individually that we didn't want kids and have chatted about it as friends. But one of the biggest issues was that we already have disabilities that make life a daily challenge for us. A kid with those same or worse disabilities would not get the care or attention they deserved. It turned out to be the best decision we've made as I'm now fully disabled with chronic illness and have trouble taking care of myself, let alone a teenager or younger child
@sevenember3332 same reason for me. I can bearly take care of myself and my partner is struggling with anger issues and many mental illnesses.
I love kids, but as for now I really dont want any. I want to get my tubes tied and we both agreed that if we change our mind.
Well adopt one.
Also I personally think it's morally wrong to have a kid KNOWING they will be disabled (not talking about like, you got pregnant and found out they're gonna be disabled, but like, you know your whole family has a running disability and still deciding to have a kid)
@MaridoDoFelps I dont really think so. Again. Disability isn't a good or a bad thing. Its just a thing. And as long you have parents that can afford and understand you. There is nothing wrong with it.
24:00 also, doing chores isn't a punishment and should never be a punishment. First, in this case especially, it doesn't fit the alleged crime. Taking the puppy back to its owner would have been more appropriate, but she didn't even steal anything. Which makes it worse. Also, when a child is still that young, having the association of chores=punishment will lead to the child thinking that any chores are punishment. And that's damn hard to get rid of as an adult.
True, I still struggle with chores because my parents used them as punishments.
I struggle heavily with chores because chores were treated as a punishment when I was younger. It still feels like a punishment to do them because I still have that association and GOD, does it suck
I would clean other peoples’ homes since 7th grade to earn money to put aside for college or for myself (along with other jobs). I was assigned certain chores as a child, along with my siblings, even though we didn’t receive an allowance. You don’t hate chores because they were used as punishments. You hate chores because they’re chores.
@@jpbaley2016 My siblings and I also had rotating chores, but they were predictable and expected, not sprung on us as a punishment. People who have parents make them clean the garage because they broke a vase will later associate cleaning the garage with having done something wrong. That's not the case for everyone, but for some kids, chores was a primary punishment whether it was deserved or not, and when you associate everyday tasks with someone or something that upsets you, it can be hard to separate those emotions long enough to get it done.
I've never had a problem with cleaning the bathroom because I actually have positive associations. I could close the door while I cleaned and have some privacy, and I received praise for a job well done. I have less fondness for dishes because my brother would always bring up a dirty dish right after I'd finished washing everything up. Everyone has their reasons for not liking things and for why certain tasks may be harder to accomplish than others. Not everyone has trauma, but some do.
@@jpbaley2016you’re just being dissmissive about something you don’t know about.
by the sounds of it you did those chores because you WANTED to, to save up and stuff. you weren’t FORCED to do them as punishment, or punished further for not complying. you can’t say how other people are supposed to feel about something, especially when you’ve never experienced that something yourself.
chores can be draining regardless, yes, and not many people like them. but there’s a difference between not liking them, and associating them with trauma.
my mother would scream at me while doing dishes and get mad if something wasn’t 100% spotless and to this day I’ve never been able to do a full load. I only wash dishes when I need to use them because I cannot stand the thought of filling up the sink and standing there for hours
I struggle taking care of myself because she would scream at me. it wasn’t just chores I viewed as punishment-it’s taking care of myself, because my mother turned it into a negative experience.
children are very susceptible to learning and ingraining these things young. your brain is developing and taking in all these lessons. when you get older, those lessons are all set in stone, even if they’re wrong, and it takes an immense amount of time and effort to chisel them out.
it’s not cool to be dissmissive of other peoples experiences and trauma jsut because you don’t experience it the same. do you know what empathy is?
I wonder if Adrien gets mad when people walk up the handicapped ramp instead of the stairs.
The girlfriend could probably gain some insight into his character by actually seeing if he reacts to that scenario.
Option 1: Bf gets angry at others for using ramp --> Probably just needs to have a long conversation with a disabled person/therapist to work through whatever his problem is with this.
Option 2: Bf doesn't see a problem with it --> He's probably a controlling partner who likes to tear down his girlfriend so she won't ever have the self-esteem to leave him. In which case, RUN
Great example.
He probably blocks it if he's that much of a coward (if someone reacts like that to something that isn't an issue they are a massive puss)
The thing about that is, using a color filter on your phone affects no one else but yourself but using a ramp when you don’t actually need it can prevent other people from using it who do need it. They are not comparable.
Most likely they would.
My ex-husband recently had a child with his girlfriend, around the time my child with the ex turned 15yo. The ex kept saying to our son things like, "I can't do such-and-such because I have a kid now" or "I need to buy a house cuz I have a kid now." Like, hello - you've _had_ a kid for *15 years* now! We didn't have our son exceptionally young, so that's not the issue (I was 25 and he was 28). What a douche!!!
At least your son still has you, better than the person in the story. I hope you've pointed out to your ex what a POS he's being, not that it seems likely he'd improve... Best wishes to you and your family in any case.
@GusBried My son doesn't want me to say anything to his dad about it because then his dad will know my son is talking to me about him and is scared his dad will get mad at him. I'm actually very close friends with my ex, but he does have many shortcomings (above and beyond those every typical person has). So if I say something to the ex about his insensitive comments, my son will be upset that I went against his wishes, but if I don't say something to the ex, my son will continue being upset by similar comments. So I'm kinda stuck. My ex is a great dad in general and of course my son loves him *VERY* much. He just doesn't consider how or even that his insensitive comments make our son feel. Anyway, I do very much appreciate your kind words!
@@kathryncumberland
Maybe talk with your son to talk (you with their father or they)
If your ex is a good parent will understand that this kind of comments annoy him
I know it's hard, but I appreciated that my mother talked to my father for something similar
What a douche!!!
I would think that the new GF would see this as a red flag. If he no longer considers his son with you to be his kid now that he has a new family, how is he going to see his child with his current GF if they split?
I honestly hate what that mom did to that kid with the Halloween costume, Halloween is supposed to be a time where you can dress up to be something amazing and that you love. One of my best memories is making a grim reaper cloak with my grandma. For the mom to take that childhood experience and absolutely smash it apart by setting your kid up like that? It’s really frustrating and anger inducing.
Yes. Abuse.
Honestly the OP is a trumpy anti-feminist in the comments I think the story is made up
The mother sounds like a sadistic, psychopathic “poo-poo head” 😌 Emotional abuse is so much worse than any other; scars on the outside heal, but ones inside take far longer. Thanks Click for standing up for this kid and setting the record straight about this wildly neglectful so-called “parenting”.
im pretty sure that theres a picture online of this, with a bunch oif girls being disney princess and one girl being a hotdog
I almost cried. I knew what was coming and was shocked there are still people like that.
Edit - then I remembered my sister and sister-in-law...
The hotdog costume thing was even worse if you think the mother was punishing the kid that way for failing at cooking hot dogs. An extra-petty reminder. I'm sure that qualifies as child abuse.
Should've just helped their kid to learn to cook
I picked up on that too.
I agree that the hotdog costume thing was bad and that the mother punishing her kid for it or trying to be quirky was stupid, but calling it child abuse is a bit exaggerated, no?
@@candermanthegreat No. It's psychological abuse, especially given the reactions from the peers (the bullying) that was very likely anticipated as well.
@@candermanthegreat I'm sorry but if your reaction to your kid wanting to help out is to humiliate them in front of everyone... it is at least stepping on the thin line.
4:09 As a person with disabilities let me say: the more people use our tools, the more accessible they become.
Imagine having Ciliac Disease 30 years ago vs today. In the 90s it would have been very hard to find Gluten Free anything. Now almost anything you want has a Gluten Free option. That's because people who don't _need_ it started to _want_ it and suddenly life is easier for some people.
That's what I explain to people who hesitate to use a chest binder for cosplay. It's weird to see people be hesitant to use tolls that aren't scarce but gladly abuse controlled substances, which actually causes accessibility issues.
This is a good perspective. Thank you for sharing it.
I agree in principle, though the gluten thing also has another spin, as there was a wave of it being called "unhealthy for everyone" by pseudo science and lifestyle channels. It's not unhealthy to not eat gluten either, so no real harm done, but it has a bit of a bad aftertaste.
...save for reserved seats XDD
Accesibility tools are ok; as long as able people using them too does not detract from their intended use, making it actually harder for people that rely on them.
For example, I work at a kitchen, we will have a protocol for allergies plus carry vegan and gluten free options if enough people order them. That beign said, if you claim to have a food intolerance that you don't have; you are still going to make us treat every part of the process as an allergy in order to avoid cross contamination. "Gluten free" becoming a popular tag, has not made it so that people who has severe allergic reactions to gluten is risk free, quite the opossite, it has made it possible for many cross contaminated products to reach the consumer. Or things as ridiculous as table salt beign labelled "gluten free" in order just to cramp up products in online shopping search results.
Yeah I developed an allergy to dairy out of nowhere a couple of years ago and I am so glad vegans have made dairy free stuff more common
17:10 Its funny how the parents think that, while they weren't ready to be parents at 18 and 19, a neglected 15-year-old is perfectly able to.
She seem more adult than they ever were whish doesn´t seem to be that high bar to cross
So MIL is calling her grandchild spoiled because... she's not allowed to just demand a different cake for someone else's birthday...
Ma'am...you're the spoiled brat.
Heck I have celiac disease and literally can't eat most cakes...I still don't demand other people gluten free cakes on THEIR birthdays...I'll just bring my own. (Though my friends are also really cool and often pick up something from the bakery for me, since they live closer to said bakery.)
Whats Celiac disease? And how dose it prevent eating most cakes?
@ryanhughes6405 Gluten intolerance. I can't eat anything that contains wheat.
@@ryanhughes6405not the original poster, but I'll try to answer. Celiac disease is a kind of really bad allergy to gluten, even if it can vary in its intensity from "slightly discomforting" to "I think I'm gonna die here". Since gluten is present in most cereals (except for rice and a few others), a normal cake, made with wheat flour, could give some nasty issues. I hope this explaination made it clearer 😊 but please check the net for more detailed informations, especially on medical sites, because I know I am no expert
And I bet she's gonna complain how she wasn't allowed to come to his birthday.
@annalisalundberg4561 oh thanks alot never heard of it before. Really appreciate it
20:00 it's not "like" assault, it *IS* assault. Hope the parents document everything and sue so their daughter gets her college paid for. Silver lining from the hell she's gone through. Edit: and further, now that I have finished your reading of the story, it doesn't matter if they're "handling it" now. The girl WAS VICTIMIZED. You don't get to get off, say, murder charges because you promise you're looking into the psychopathy that caused you to murder someone so it isn't going to happen again. You get punished for the murder.
I have nothing more to add; just posting to say that I agree 100% with everything.
As a teacher, we could lose our job if the bullies parents nagged at the school enough, so I can sadly image why this situation happened, but I would get fired for this girl. I subbed at a school where the first grade was evacuated daily because one student liked to throw those cement and metal chairs around she he was told not to punch the expensive smart board. Never went back after that day. I will never work somewhere that the children aren't safe because a violent kid is special needs and can't be expelled.
@@christineryan2988sorry. This is not against you at all but i don't get the logic. You could get fired if the bully's parents nag enough, but not if the victim's parents nag enough???
Absolutely. As a parent with children in public school, that story was horrific. I would be devastated if my own suffered something like that.
I also hope her lawsuit goes well.
@@TheCalucitayou don't live in the USA, do you? customer aka parents are always right.
I used to do the same "pretending you're a princess while doing chores" thing, but I always pretended I was Cinderella
Damn! 😂
That’s so sweet omg ❤
*Cinderelly according to Jaq
That’s nice
I pretended I was Laura Ingalls Wilder! My uncle had a historical park and I got to actually be a frontier girl for a few hours. I still have the bonnet from there.
Adrian will have a heart attack when he realizes that streamers put on colorblind filters for their audience that may be colorblind.
Yep.
im not colorblind myself so my apolocheese if this question is ignorant, but aren't there multiple different types of colorblindness that use different filters? couldn't this negatively impact some colorblind folks that would need a different filter (and therefore it would be more beneficial for a viewer to turn on a colorblind filter on their device)?
Aww that's so nice of them to do that. 😊
@@GoroAkechi_Real Some games have a 'colorblind mode' where they swap color coding for distinct symbols and shapes, which is much easier to distinguish than a filter overlaid on top would be
The disabled family baby pushers story is SOOOO annoying. I can't believe they took everything OP said and twisted it like that. Having a disabled child is NOT easy, and someone who isn't mentally prepared for that kind of caretaking should NOT risk having a child who they might resent. This coming from a very likely autistic (can't afford the doctors fees for the diagnosis) person whose parents treated them like shit and screamed at me for not acting normal.
Oh my god THIS. One thing I keep seeing and repeating is the line that if you aren’t prepared to have a disabled kid, a queer kid, or really for any version of a kid who may not be exactly what kind of kid you may have wanted, you aren’t actually prepared to have a kid and should not have one. Once the kid is in the picture, it’s too late and it is now your responsibility to care for them no matter what happens.
honestly this. I once talked to a person who said they wanted a kid but if they ended up being disabled they couldn't handle it (they wanted to adopt) and I got PISSED. I told them straight up that if you cannot handle a child who is disabled in any way then you should not have a kid, period. you cannot control the child you have so you have to be prepared and willing to go through with anything.
I am autistic. I'm high-functioning/low support needs. I still do not think I could handle having a child. I'm usually fine, but sometimes sounds, textures, and smells get to me. I genuinely can't imagine trying to get passed the first 6 or so years of a child's life. The screaming, poop, and general stickiness would get to me. I would want to try my best and use the gentle parenting method but I can just see that I would not have the patience sometimes and I do not want to take that out on the child. That along with generally just wanting freedom and to be the "cool childless gay aunts" with my partner has me perfectly content with the idea of no kids. I wish people would just understand this.
Edit: Just to be clear, I am also lucky enough to have a mom that fully understands and respects my decision. She's told me "Children are a lot of work and it doesn't just stop once they turn 18" which I fully agree with. (My dad hasn't said anything about it.) I just meant generally it sucks how often I see these stories of people being told they're horrible for not wanting kids for whatever reason. Just let people live their lives how *they* want to.
people that are good guardian to disabled youth are strong in a way that plainly others aren't and it is not bad for those exposed to/ apart of those kinds of family dynamic to admit to being too weak to have the strength to ever be able to handle it, people should never be shunned or judged for having the self-awarness and compassion to avoid inflicting pain unto another being by choosing not to have a kid....cause they know themselves to be unfit.
@@alley6950 Yeah you can if you're adopting. Adoption agencies will try to match you with a child you can handle.
2:55 Adrien here is implying that there are a limited amount of colourblind filters, as in when one person uses a colourblind filter, another person will no longer be able to use it
Right. You're only an asshole if you use up a limited source that is mean for disabled people, like a parking spot or a disabled bathroom.
Obeying authority without question is never a good idea. Intelligent disobedience is quintessential to not repeating the horrors of History.
Like you know, just like America, France or other country from many of those who had a positive revolution.
Lead as smart leader would to not be overtorn by your partener as the deciding parent and not to be divorced if you become a bigger ashole or you stay the same ashole you are without a change.
And reconise your defeats even after them to not be put in same situations.
23:29 if I were OP, I’d tell him that the lesson he’s teaching the daughter will lead to her getting into abusive relationships in the future
“lay down and accept what I’m doing to you, even if it’s unjustified”
either he’ll realize he’s hurting his daughter, or he’ll reveal he’s an abusive father
I think a good counter would have bring up a situation where he would have to have had to accept a wrong decision from an authority figure.
Like would he agree to sign a disciplinary form from his manager if his company accused him of committing a crime or prohibited act that he didn’t do?
If not then why is it okay for him to make his daughter do the same thing
Oh he totes came off as abusive, yup
@Sly-Moose he could have been abused and grew up believing the world works that way. Who would have been there to tell him that his own parents were wrong? I am certain my grandfather grew up believing that talking back deserved punishment, even if the child was right. If my own father had not been so resentful of his parents the cycle might have continued to me.
@@Zebulization that’s the most messed up part of abuse. Those who suffer it are more likely to become abusers themselves when they grow up
That's exactly what he needs to be told. That, or "you wanna see unreasonable? I'll give you unreasonable, I'm divorcing you for being a power mad twat."
I've noticed there seems to be a trend, especially in America, where people are starting to feel weird or judged for using things that make things easier for you. I don't really get it. Those things are designed to make things easier. That's the entire point of technology advancements.
Maybe because of some kind of scarcity mindset
Look at what happens during a crisis
Other countries:
-Work together, help eachother, share food and shelter
MURICA!:
-raid the stores! Leave nothing behind! Steal if need be!
(Or during Black Friday WTF is up with that?!?!)
Same when you tell them about making anything free for the less fortunate they worry that they would have to pay more
But if a service actually is free (like provided by the church) they learned if they act that way and steal it they become the bad ones and if they see someone else use it the get onto their high horses because they could become “protectors of the weak” aka good guys WITHOUT actually doing something…
Even with unlimited services that actually don’t use any form of physical resource (like accessibility settings)
I think the purpose is to tear down neurodivergent people. Because every time we find what works for us, some grown up tells us “that’s not how it’s done”
Makes sense when you think about how some older people nag about how younger people have it easier than they did, like that's the whole point. They also might just think doing it the easy way is a sign of weaknes or something. Idk, I'm not a psychologist or anything
In America there is this ideology of "toughing it out" and "not being weak". Every time I say I got back pain as a means of saying I need to sit down I get told I'm "complaining too much" thd that "You're much too young for that. It's just a pulled muscle I bet".
@someonehavinganidentitycrisis They have this mind set of someone enjoying the small things of life = lazy and they think a person *needing* said items is just "being lazy". I get told a lot that I don't have hearing issues I "just don't want to listen to others".
What adult money is often used for: morgage, car payments, groceries
What we all wish we could use our adult money for: movie accurate Witch King of Angmar full-metal armor cosplay, complete with morgul blade and smoke machine.
I wish I could spend my money on the coolest fantasy armor known to man instead of normal things like food and running water I don't need those things I can hunt and filter my own water
I wonder where he got it
Me moving to a small city where housing is more affordable and I can get around without a car (both thanks to progressive planning):
@@M_M_ODonnell Me being American where we can't have nice things like that: 😮💨😭
@@Laura-gb1jv Well, in this case affordability is relative -- it's by US standards. Most of the rest of the world would call my soon-to-be location car-dependent and lacking in basic public priorities.
For the girl being punished for "stealing a dog": The other alternative to teaching her to accept poor treatment is that she's going to learn that she may as well misbehave since she's going to be punished for it either way
This is basicly what my grandparents did to my mom. All her stories from childhood and adolescence are how she hide incoconsequenstial things from them.
absolutely that's what happened with my little sister my mom had a bad control problem so she often gave me and my sister drug tests or pregnancy tests if we took it she said "you wanting to know the results proves to me you were doing those things otherwise you wouldn't need to know" if we denied it "you don't want to do it because you know it will show you are lying" in my case I learned to just stop going out so that she would stop doing it but my sister unfortunately learned that if she was gonna be forced to take tests as if she's having sex and doing drugs every time she sees someone and get punished or accused of being *those bad words you call women who have sex* then she might as well actually do it since it would be the same punishment and as my sister so lovingly puts it "what's the difference I get treated like shit either way at least this way I'm having fun doing the things I'm getting in trouble for" but things are better now we no longer live with my mother and she is learning to decode the bad behavior our mother taught her
Yep, Oz did that story on his second channel a while back, and he also said something along those lines; the girl will either turn into a total pushover, or an absolute menace.
Oh damn, that was my motto in English class in middle school. The teacher wouldn't let me leave class without a punishment, even if the misbehaving child was on the other site of the room, I was the “instigator”. I just decided that since I will get punished, I should at least deserve it and have fun. Ironically, the teacher didn't know how to react and I end up misbehaving for free.
To the woman who was called egotistical for not wanting to have disabled children, NTA. If the sisters had listened to the reasoning, she said it is because she knows she would be a bad, angry, spiteful mother. That shows a great deal of humility and self awareness that her sisters should be proud of, not enraged by. It sounds like they're jealous of her situation and wish that she was in the same position as them, which doesn't sound like they view their children in the light they claim they do.
That lady wants to avoid the very thing that's birthed the phrase "All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids." And that is so emotionally mature of her to recognise her own limits. Certainly more mature than her sisters 😂
Misery loves company
Ya. I think I'm the same way. I won't be having kids anytime soon cuz me as a person can't really... Handle them.
Also I REALLY hate people that try to guilt and force a person into having kids... We don't live in the middle ages, we don't HAVE to have kids to man the farm/backups and kingdom conscription for the yearly war.
Let's normalize not guilting a person for enjoying there free time. ((What little we have as adults anyways))
For real. I have an evil voice in my head that tells me that if I hit a crying child, they'll stop.
So no. Not having children, not putting myself anywhere around children. I understand some of the women that become abusive to their children, or are just bad mothers, because every single person in, around, near or adjacent to my life asks me why I don't have kids.
Some people shouldn't be parents!
this- it’s honestly so mature to realise that you shouldn’t have kids because you’d be a bad parent. and the disability thing.. nobody WANTS a disabled child. not because they hate disabled people, but nobody wants to see their child struggle. I can only imagine how draining that would be. seeing the person you brought into the world suffer because of your genes. of course people want able bodied and healthy kids, they want them to be happy. and choosing not to have a child because of that is perfectly reasonable.
not only that but it takes so much money and time- not everyone has the funds or mental capacity for that. good on her sisters for doing that but that doesn’t mean she has to do the same.
and ontop of that recognising she wouldn’t be a good mother. not everybody is suited for parenthood. not having kids simply because you don’t want them is reasonable enough, nevermind the maturity it takes to admit you’d be bad at it.
for me, I not only don’t like or want kids, but I know I’d be a horrible parent too. I don’t like hurting people but I cannot handle children. they overwhelm and annoy me. I’ve babysat small children before and I hate it. no child deserves a parent who doesn’t want them around and would get annoyed and snap at them. it’s better to recognise that before it’s too late
@@nevermore3193Do you have hallucinations or a disorder where you have more than one person/identity (plurality/systems/etc.)?
I hope you can find treatment for that and live a healthy life.
Also, good on you for not allowing yourself to be around kids if you think you may harm them. That could end badly for you and the kid.
Not only should OP continue to move forward with legal action regarding the bullying, they should go to the local news. If bullying at this level is happening to their kid, then it's not just their kid- it's a bunch of them taking this abuse with no action from the school. The public, who send their kids to this school, need to know.
Agree - these administrators are hoping this family will shut up and leave them alone - some systems and structures won’t change without consequences
In Japan, cutting someone's hair without their consent is considered a form of assault and thus illegal. Not sure how it is in America, but it's definitely grounds for a lawsuit.
@@lazykbys I know assault can be treated similarly in the US, like if some stranger came up behind you in public and cut your hair. I wouldn't be certain exactly how they could prove it was done by the student in class, especially if the teacher ignored it, so I'm not sure if assault charges would actually carry through the court given that these are little kids. A civil case like a lawsuit will almost certainly carry water, though.
@@lazykbys IIRC, it's considered assault, too.
As a person who was LITERALLY STRANGLED at school while being bullied. Take the legal action, that kid will need therapy to help them move forward in life (my parents didn’t and boy they regret it [ I’m serious they say so all the time ] )
My mother literally rewrote her memories thanks to a mental illness for about 20 years. She has no recollection of all the horrible things she said to me. Thankfully my friends and siblings were there and witnessed many of these interactions so I have proof I didn't make them up.
@@morgaknightgames Until you find out the friends and siblings are all in your head.
@@AIHumanEquality until YOU find out that we're in theirs mother's head
Until WE all find out we're in the click's head!
@@GusBried until you find out that EVERYTHING is just from me dreaming while in a coma!
May I ask what mental illness that is? It's probably not what it is, but my father sometimes doesn't remember hurtful things he's said and done, and will make up stuff he truly believes my mom or somebody else has said or done.
How dare UA-cam hide this from me for *checks again* 14 seconds
Real, his discord gave me the notif 16min l8r😞💔
I got it 40 minutes late and not even from a notification.
maybe check your subscription tabs regularly instead of relying on a broken algorithm to put it on your homepage if you want to watch his videos on time
Fr
As a disabled person and child of a disabled person (& asked them), we literally do not give a fuck as long as you don't:
1. Make fun of disabled people
2. Abuse the use of the thing
3. Aren't pretending to be disabled.
Like I'm not gonna gatekeep knife proof gloves just because I have to use them because I can't feel one hand and have very frequently hurt myself because of it. It's pretty traumatic to just find bloody handprints on counters cuz you don't realize you've almost chopped the tip of a finger off. 🤣🤣🤣
*Edit* favourite thing is how Click says 'egotistical'. I'm always like "ahhh yes, the self absorbed waffles".
As a fellow disabled person myself (invisibly disabled), I 100% agree.
@@db_524I thought that meant you were invisible for a sec-
Same. Don't make fun of us, don't claim your self imposed consequences are worse than our permanent issues (I've had people compare their hangover to my now 7.5 year old migraine and say I "probably have some idea of the pain they are in"), and listen when we say we don't want help.
And the way he says egocentrical makes it sound like a physics term like centrifugal
That intro is just _chef's kiss_
Perfection! He should maybe even make some acting video. ^^
Agreed. No notes.
The bullying one really got my blood boiling - they are failing to safe gaurd kids. They then act surprised the the child kill’s themselves. Schools need to take bullying seriously! Also no it wasn’t a mistake they actively chose to do fuxk all about it. Really wish people like these stop using the “I made a mistake”. I personally think school should be held accountable for when a bullied kids kills themsleves. I know this didn’t in this story but as a general thing.
They probably see it as to annoying and difficult which is messed up. They only got up and did something when they were threatened for inaction. They don’t care about the kids just taking the easiest or cheapest solution of ignoring it.
Or worst, they didn’t want the bad publicity of admitting there was bullying occurring. Can’t have people know them for being that school with a bully problem
*the kid in this story didn't...*YET*.
@@Laura-gb1jv sad but facts!
@@Nostripe361 true, however wish could say that this story is a one off…this happens wayy too much and too often :( what’s even worse is they have to go on training courses like mental health, bullying and safeguarding. It’s concerning
As someone who has and loves a disabled brother, part of the reason I don’t want kids is that I don’t want to sacrifice for that. I’m always told that I would be a great mother, but the truth is that I’ve been a caretaker since I was six. I’m finally becoming more independent in my thirties, and I am terrified of not only being a bad mom but also losing more time because someone needs me.
I feel so sorry for the kid's parents LITERALLY ignoring her and calling her a "practice run". Those parents failed at their jobs.
Maybe they should tried with a pet.
Or if possible talk with other parents and try to be intieted by them
I was the practice kid of my teen parents, they’ve just never said it to my face, but it’s pretty obvious from their actions - Im not the most important person to neither one, never was and never will. I don’t have kids of my own, because I don’t trust myself to be a decent mother. Even if I went to live with my grandparents before I was 3, where I had some sense of love and boundaries, I still don’t feel like everything in me was fixed, for several reasons. I know my grandparents loved me, but I was still surrounded with unpredictable people with anger issues.
I just cant risk it, world doesn’t need more lost kids who grow up to be sad adults. Im quite zen with myself now at nearly 50, but growing up was harder than it should’ve been. I grew up to be highly sensitive personality, always more concerned about others wellbeing and problems, mine weren’t important at all. Theres a hole in every adopted kid’s soul and you gotta put in lot of work to make it smaller, but it never really closes completely, you just learn to live with it. And Im perfectly happy to be the spoil&run auntie to my friends kids :)
I'd call CPS and report how they neglected OP, and also mention there is a newborn in the picture now.
Ideally after clearing this with a friend's family and securing a place to stay for the two of them, if the friends can afford to do that.
Imagine their surprise when they come home and find out their kids have been removed from their custody because of how badly they fucked up.
The unhinged story of "sitting next to picture of dead ex-husband" sounds like deliberate punishment and humiliation from the daughter towards her mother. Clearly she's not over her mother not only divorcing her father but also marrying a new man. (she might even blame her mother for the father drinking himself to death) They'd really need to have a loooong and proper talk.
The answer could be as simple as just letting her current husband sit with her and the picture. The way the Mom writes, I don't think she would mind the picture if it wasn't served with the heaping side of punishment and humiliation you mentioned.
My takeaway was that the bride needs therapy.
Like "Okay mom, can you keep this picture of your dead ex around, instead of enjoying the party with your husband?" sounds like she'll kill them both in a week so the three of them can be together again.
The colour filter one at the start reminds me of the vegan telling people they can't eat tofu because it's only for vegans.
WTF?
Would it be a stretch to assume the same person also admonishes anyone who eats non-vegan food like meat or gelatin? If so, what do they expect, for non-vegans to just photosythesize their nutrients from the sun?
They saw SpongeBob and went “yes. That definitely probably works.”
Imagine if they entered an asian grocery store (which they would probably consider cultural appropriation for non-asians to do) and saw the giant tofu aisle.
My thought exactly.
I'm so happy that people who aren't vegan demand some vegan options. Means it's easier to access vegan stuff
4:12 It’s like using the dyslexia accessible writing options on websites, I like it and it’s easier for me to read but I’m not dyslexic and will never claim to be
plus technically its a good thing cause it shows intrest meaning they'll make more accessibility stuff cause theres a market
I use TTS and screen readers to aid my writing a lot. I am in not blind or have poor sight in any way. But it still helps me to make better decisions for something important to me. If I am being helped in that capacity, what does it matter if it is for reasons not originally thought of for the apps and programs out there? Never had a blind person try to scold me for getting help in the same way.
A lot of accessibility features wind up getting used by people who aren't disabled and it's A GOOD THING because the more a feature is used the more feedback will be given and developers will be more inclined to add them. It's a win win!
Adrien's heart is probably in the right place--sensitivity and all that--but totally misapplied. He's also a creep for claiming to "allow" her to do anything.
@VanillaBean2023 I just saw a video about this, it's called the "curb cut effect"! Named after the ramps you see on sidewalks; it was originally meant for wheelchair users, but it also makes it easier for people with bikes, shopping carts, etc.!
Using dark mode on here because I'm dyslexic & autistic & dark mode helps both out, as well as avoiding strain on eyes which already need specs. If others use it because wow cool, they can go ahead & do so!!!
The school bullies story: 100% follow through. They only decided to "promise to do better" when they realized there could be consequences for their inaction. Too little, too late.
26:11 yknow that thing that circulates a lot that says "if you don't want a (insert literally anything here) child, don't have children" this is exactly why and kudos to op for knowing that about herself because too many parents resent their disabled kids
Edit: this is supposed to mean "if you will no longer love your child if they're disabled, then you shouldn't have kids", not that you should necessarily want in the sense of hope for a disabled child. I've just seen the phrase circulate on the internet a lot so I repeated that, but it should probably be worded better
I don’t have kids, because I know myself. It’s not even a disability thing, I was just like the practice daughter from one of these stories and Im just too worried I would continue the cycle of neglect, not being able to show love, because I was shown it and was pretty much left to raise myself. I feel like I just cant risk it, the world doesn’t need another unhappy and lost child and I see my stance as a way to control it. Im perfectly happy to be the eccentric (Im an artist) spoil & run auntie to my friend’s kids, tho.
Ps. The sad thing is how many of these friends have told me how envious they are, how I made the right choice for not having kids.. I sorta understand it, of course they don’t feel like this all the time, but it’s still so sad.
Outside of the blind community, I have never heard a parent or a parent with a disability say: "I wish my child was born with a disability." We shouldn't treat disabled people badly, but we also don't wish that our kids are disabled. This isn't a bad thing to want.
@@piecebypiece2028 my comment was more about the phrase that circulates than my personal opinion but yes your reply is right and the phrase should probably be rephrased, but the intention of it is if you will no longer want your child because they're disabled (this is also used with queer kids a lot) then you shouldn't have kids, not that if you don't want your child to be disabled, if that makes sense
@dragonswirl3579 I get what you're saying. You as a parent can't guarantee what characteristics and qualities your child will have, so if you aren't prepared to take care of a child who may be different than the an able body, straight, cisgendered individual of sound mind, it's best you don't have kids.
@moon-moth1 Exactly! I feel like these places are either ignoring the possibility of resentful parents being forced to take care of/raise a child they never wanted (and thus doing a crappy job, whether it's on purpose or not), or they just don't care as long as the baby gets born. Don't they want every child to be loved and wanted? What's the point of having children if the kids aren't wanted or loved? Population? We already have plenty of people on this planet. Dragging another life into this world only so it can suffer is a cruel and pointless thing to do. Maybe it's a "misery loves company" sort of thing: "I had to exist without my consent so now you do too."
I've had chronic pain since my early 20s. That was one of the final things that solidified to me that I should go child-free.
1. I don't have the energy to be a present parent, at least not every single day.
2. I wouldn't want to pass my pain to a child. I would hate myself for it.
I have other reasons as well (the main one being I just don't want to be a parent), but for some reason, a lot of people get personally offended when I tell them that I don't plan to ever have children.
CRPS person here and I agree with you, my mom is all like who is going to take care of you when I’m gone. And I’m like that’s a terrible reason to have a child. Here is also where abelism gets nuanced. For things like Down’s syndrome and autism advocating for societal changes to accommodate them rather than a cure is absolutely the way to go, but I have yet to meet someone with a chronic pain condition that isn’t desperately searching for a cure or a way to nuke it from their genes. Anyways deciding not to have kids because you know yourself well enough that you aren’t up to being a care taker is just being responsible, thinking no one should have disabled kids or that disabled kids are a burden is when it becomes ableist.
If you haven't thought of it, here's how I manage to shut people down: It's really selfish to demand that _someone else_ rear children for _their_ piece of mind, and really ablest to insist that any disabled person doesn't understand their own abilities and capacity in any given situation-- oops, they're being selfish and ableist! They'll stop asking once they step on that kind of landmine.
Nobody has to justify their life choices.
I feel the exact same way. ❤
I am 24, with broken family (from my parents), lots of trauma, on meds from 17 yo, chronic pain (continuous) and my relatives (who know all this) still ask me why I never want to have kids... Some people are just unreasonable and egoistic.
When my kids got to the appropriate ages, they used to insist on making their own snacks, drinks, easy meals etc. I dreaded it every single time because the kitchen was always a wreck afterwards. But i encouraged them!
When they wanted to help with the dishes, i let them. Even though i had to go & rewash them all because they always done a bad job & there would be water everywhere.
I wanted my kids to be capable & independent eventually, now they are!
Good on you! My parents loved me very much, but that, along with not wanting to waste time, meant I never made any food, washed dishes etc as a child. I'm over 30 and I still struggle with these kinds of basic daily things.
My brother and I were maybe 5 and 6 or so. We spilled a bottle of soda in the kitchen. mother was having a nap so we decided to mop the mess. Then we though we would be good boys and mop the entire house, with the same soda infused mop.
Mom gets up and we proudly told her what we had done. She gave us this funny look but said nothing. How do you punish a good deed even when when it goes so awry.
I thought it was peculiar when she moped the entire house again.
@GusBried my parents often left me home alone from a very young age so they could work so I had no choice but to learn to be independent. I resent them for that, but I'm glad of the skills I learned if that makes sense. So I wanted to try & give my kids the skills, just without the neglect.
As a parent, it's hard to know what's for the best. You want to provide & cater to your kids every need. But also it's best for them to sometimes step back & just clean up their messes (which there are many lol)
@heleninglis9961 Yeah, my parents mistakes were entirety an overcorrection for their hard lives. I feel angry at them for it sometimes, but I try not to show it, since it's not a very reasonable anger, for mistakes made out of love... Plus, I'm an adult, hard or not, it's on me to learn how to be better at this point 😅.
It sounds like you found the right balance of not repeating mistakes vs not overcorrecting, so once again, good on you!
The father giving wrongful punishment to his daughter sound's like he just wanted to exercise control over someone weaker than him tbh :/
Absolutely.
Honestly, I wouldn't leave him alone with children for a while.
28:02 Literally all she said on the topic of disability was that she doesn't think she's equipped to handle a disabled child, which she is statistically likely to have with their family history
But if she doesn't have any children that means having children was a choice and that means her sisters will have to live with the knowledge that the suffering of their children and the hardship in their own lives were the result of choices they made. If she also has children on the other hand they can just pretend that it was an inevitability.
The orphan girl who was bullied at school story makes me rage. This girl was assaulted and will have to live with this experience for the rest of her life. The teachers and parents of the bullys should be thankful that legal consequences will be the only things they face.
"mom, I wanna be snow white for Halloween."
-Little kid
"Welp, the best I can do is a hot dog, sweetheart."
-their mom
Do I look like I know what a JPEG is?
"but snow white is so beautiful, and my princess idol"
-Little kid
"you fucked up my kitchen because you wanted hotdogs, you will become the hotdog"
-their mom
Click is absolutely right about fake apologies from people who are cornered. People are a lot like companies and corporations in that they won't change bad behavior unless you force them to face the consequences of their actions. They may apologize when confronted and might even follow through when you back off but it won't last. In about three weeks they'll be back to the bad behaviors and nothing will have changed and nothing resolved.
Absolutely. People like that absolutely need consequences for them to realize they were in the wrong at all. And some still won't, sadly.
I never thought he would say ever "YA BOI" when I first started watching him 💀
Aww man I lost the heart by editing lol
Frat Boy Click
He’s said it several times…
You haven't been on this channel for at least 2 weeks for the first time then lol
@@gabbydafurry maybe they just didn’t notice???
@jaxscales6158 @gabbydafurry Or they mean the Witch King. Y'know. The costume. The Witch King of Angmar popping off with "Ya Boy" is not a thing I'd ever think of either LMAO
'Give them a chance' SHE DID, she gave them so many she decided to go through the legal route! I have a genetic condition that causes me to have fragile bones, and when I was in third grade (for my safety) I was put in a wheelchair at school, since everyone knew I could walk the bulling started, it was never physical, but I would come home from school, cry and beg to not go back. (I was a weird kid that loved school, so saying that told my mom it was serious for me). My mom went to the principal, he said 'kids will be kids' she was like bullshit. She recorded a small documentary about someone else who had the condition (way worse than me) and made my principal show it to all the kids i my grade, I was out that day, and after that ... The bullying stopped. At least, any obvious to my face kind. And that was enough for me. Yeah, kids can be assholes, but general if you give them proper education about how horrible what they are doing is they'll stop. (Not always, of course). As I said, I'm disabled. At 30yrs old I have NAVER HAD A JOB AND NEVER CAN HAVE A JOB, literally. At a disability hearing a job coach person said, point blank (after hearing all the testimony from my doctors, and not even all of them) there is nowhere, no job that would actually have me, because of all my disabilities. My mom, who had most of the same disabilities often told me she felt guilty for having me, because she didn't know how bad some of them could be, and how bad they would be for me. She loved me, dearly, she just felt guilty about all I had to go through because she had me. Recognizing that you wouldn't be a good parent, especially to a disabled child is NOT ABLEIST. If more parents, those who do and don't have disabled children, had been more honest to themselves about their capabilities there would be a lot less abused and neglected children. My mom loved me for all she was worth, but she felt so guilty at all I had to go through, she never resented having to care for me, she did however also feel guilty that my older brother ended up feeling like he was a bit less loved because of all the extra care I needed. He wasn't afflicted with the same disabilities. My mom did what she could to try and show him that she loved him just as much, and when we got older he understood better (we are only a 1 1/2 apart) But, as a child myself I made the decision I was never having biological children because of them likely ending up like me, and in my family it's gotten more severe with each generation. And, a few years ago I made the choice to never adopt like I'd origanlly wanted, because even if I feel I could do a good job with 'parenting' the amount of times I would be absent solely because of my disabilities I came to the conclusion it wouldn't be a good thing for the children. They didn't need anyone else not being there for them. This person is just honest about their capabilities. I literally clapped when Click read out 'I feel I would be an angry and spiteful parent because of being upset for having to sacrifice like my family has, and no one deserves that.' because I was like 'Thank you for knowing yourself, and making choices for the best of children you don't even have!'
I would've thought you could take smth like a remote tech job, since you wouldn't need to move much.
Also i feel bad for immediately thinking of the glass bones and paper skin guy from spongebob
@@ThingInTheHall Managing a certain level of disability can be a full time job in and of itself. Not to mention exhausting and you pay the price for every failure or oversight in your own body, and can never take a vacation from caring for yourself. It's not fair to expect someone to work a full time job for their living on top of that. OP is lucky that was recognized by the person evaluating them. Social support systems (in the U.S. at least) aren't well funded enough to support most of the people who need it.
@danakchampion True. True. We really should fund it more.
@@ThingInTheHall Not far off, on the bones. Lol. They're not as bad as that, for me. However I have a mild version. I've only broken around a hundred in my 30 years. (don't have exact count for two reasons. I stopped caring about the exact number when it hit the 80's. Also, there have been many times in my life I've been imaged for a possible break and found healed breaks I was unaware of) Aside from not really being any good with tech, unfortunately the breaking isn't all. When I was 2 I was diagnosed with arthritis, and I have chronic pain from all the breaks. I have depression, anxiety and chronic migraines, all of which can be incredibly debilitating on their own and worse together. (depression, chronic pain and migraines literally, as in scientifically proven, feed into each other and make it worse for each other. Fun right?) And, seriously don't feel bad for the SpongeBob thought, thinking of it in sarcastic ways, is a great coping mechanism. I used to jokingly ask my family and friends to trade body parts with me.
@@danakchampion Yep. And making plans can be really difficult. Am I going to feel able to doing something that day? I have no clue. So, generally I have to wait until the day of before I can say 'Yeah, I'm going to this family function' or something. I've had to miss out on a lot just because of my issues.
It's very possible that mother had an altered memory. Guilt and trauma can both effect memories and sometimes our minds will adjust as a survival instinct to prevent us having to face things like guilt when we know we have done something terrible. It's why some people will lie if caught doing something, they're not necessarily lying intentionally but as a survival instinct.
Pretty sure my mother does this. It's a bad coping mechanism, though, since it's basically just abandoning any personal responsibility and going, "feelings are hard uwu 🥺. What if I just... didn't let myself feel them?😝".
Its kind of like when teanagers have that mentality of "nothing bad will ever happen TO ME, so therefore, it can't possibly happen to anyone else, especially not someone I CARE about!"
I can't tell you how many stupidly dangerous things my parents let me do as a small child because of this mentality. Parents/people like this literally get others killed but will still claim, "Well, I (the neglectful/abusive person) feel bad about their death, therefore I'M the BIGGEST victim here! I couldn't possibly believe that MY actions got them killed! Simply unFATHOMable!!"
Once in a blue moon you can start to see the gears of personal responsibility turning in their brain and out of nowhere they will bring up the traumatic event in a complete freakout meltdown to just be like, "IT WASNT ME!! IT COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN ME!?!! 😀🤯🤡"
Then the next day, be right back to Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss-ing their way through life. Obfuscating all responsibly.
One day i was taking some weights off the roof(had leaks, we put tarps over it, held down with the weights) i was a bit too lazy with it tho, smahsed a pvc pipe below the ladder, water rushing out, thankfully there was a shut off valve very close by. Figured, "meh I'll get in trouble for it soon anyway..." and just cleaned up and went back inside however no one noticed for like months. When one day my mom was like, "why is there a busted pipe in the yard?" I freaked out and instantly lied "huh that's weird I don't know"(or smth like that, it was shit lie trust me and i was being sus) but she let it slide for some reason.
Point of the story being, people are cowards and will lie to save their ass(whether that means avoid shame, embarrassment, pain, etc.)taruma or not.
@@olivinemage4233 That sounds like more than just altered memory. That sounds like a ton of mental conditions and baggage that's never been properly sorted out.
@@greenpinapple820 I wouldn't say it's cowardly. It's a survival instinct bred into humans over much evolution.
@@AIHumanEquality yep the kid looked "happy" in photos due to being forced to smile, and my guess is if she started to cry then they would have to stay home and not go trick or treating
19:23 Well, that's physical a'ssault and typically perpetrators get suspended or even expelled. Absolutely maddening that the school continually allowed it. They are opening themselves up for a lawsuit, and they would deserve it.
I also feel like the school already had their chance, but they just paid lip service with “looking into it”. The bully’s parents might’ve not known before, but the school certainly did and I feel they totally deserve the lawsuit. I hate how nowadays it seems like the only way to get authorities care is to get publicity, hate it with passion! We humans should be better than that.
The bully is a family member of school staff
Ah yes. Using personal features and harmless options because you don't have a specific disability. Definitely equal to parking in a handicap spot. What an AH. I can say as a half blind person myself, how dare you use accessibility features that don't affect me in the least. The audacity.
everyone knows there’s only a limited amount of colorblind filters in the world
gosh how could you be so insensitive 🙄
The issue with handicap spots is that there's a limited amount of them, so parking in there when you don't need it deprives others who do need of that spot.
The same is not true for accessibility features on a freaking phone.
Somehow, a lot of people fail to understand this. (You're not one of them, I'm agreeing with you, and trying to further add to your point.)
Also, people really need to leave the policing of handicap spots to the actual police, because chances are that a random Karen isn't going to be able to tell whether or not a person actually needs that freaking parking spot. Not everyone who needs them is visibly missing both legs.
I always wonder, if the people in question finds these types of videos, looks in the comments and mistakes all the satire comments as being literal. and inflating their ego.
funny story tho.
Right? If you park in a handicap spot you are often using the only accessible spot for your personal convenience handicapped spots are a limited resource and often insufficient for the handicapped population. That is wildly different than people using ramps for baby carriages which increases the use of those ramps making it more likely they are built in more locations is just an overall good. A ramp doesn’t have limited uses, if more people use a feature the more likely the feature will be added in the future, as long as you aren’t using it before or instead of a disabled person who needs it go ham.
@ookamiblade6318 Depends on the ramp. Metal and concrete ramps usually last a long time but wooden ones can be subject to detoriating if not well maintained. I agree with your overall point just adding this in there.
00:42 Getting that from a Nazgûl must be really good, seeing as their main means of orientation in the physical world seems to be smell!
Ysing the color blind filter is actually a really good thing. It sjows greater interest and means more filters will be made available. Like buying glutan free goods. The more people buy them, the more are made.
@@oakenshadow6763 Except in the case of buying gluten free things you shouldn't buy it if you don't need it. You're just depriving yourself of nutrients at that point. Quite different from just using features on a phone.
@@AIHumanEquality
There's also the risk that people take the gluten-free thing less seriously if people just do it as some kind of weird lifestyle thing. What's the harm in putting gluten in the gluten-free food option when the people who order/buy it aren't actually suffering from celiac disease?
Well, maybe a person who actually has that disease might order/buy the food and get horribly sick.
The same cannot be said for colorblind filters.
(Also just because some people care about this, yes I am indeed colorblind myself. Redblind.)
Gluten isn't a necessary nutrient. I'm not allergic to it, but it can cause bloating if you eat too much of it even without being allergic. There's nothing wrong with choosing gluten free just for variety.
@@Vincent_Beers Bloating is caused by a chemical reaction of foods that don't mix very well in the stomach. If you're only eating gluten and experiencing bloating there's a possibility you're allergic because that's not a normal reaction. I'm not certain if you understand what allergy/allergic means. An allergy is when your body produces an adverse reaction to certain foods or other substances most often it results in the immune system going haywire. Bloating as I mentioned can actually be a sign of allergies particularly with gluten or lactose.
I may or may not have played Pocket Minecraft with inverted colours so I could see in the caves lol. Made the upper world interesting colours too.
I'm sure the MIL not coming to her grandson's birthday party will really ruin the day. How will they ever be able to live without her there to make everything about her?
This Halloween I went as a Templar Knight, and my dad called the police or something and asked if I was allowed to carry my sword on me, and luckily it was allowed for Halloween.
The chainmail destroyed my shoulders.
You're supposed to have padding and/or leather under the chain to protect your skin. Normal thin cloth won't be enough
@Vincent_Beers i was too broke for that, I had already spent over 2300$ total.
But I have been looking around for that.
A sweater will stand in for the gambison. I used to wear chain as resistance training. Great stuff.
Your dad sounds absolutely wonderful, glad to hear he's involved in your life
@@thatonewitch My parents are really nice, which unfortunately seems to be rarer than it should be.
22:05 Adding onto it, they both went to 'fix' it at once, meaning they are all completely aware they're guilty in this situation. Just another thing to add onto it.
That first one makes me wonder if that dude uses dark mode on his devices. As somebody with astigmatism who has to use this to be able to read screens, I want to be pretend offended toward him so badly.
Wait, dark mode helps with astigmatism? I have it, though in a way that I don't know what if any symptoms may be because of it rather than nearsightedness.. I also use dark mode just because, are you saying I have a legit reason to prefer it? 😂
@@GusBried
If I remember correctly, dark mode kinda reduces the amount of light flooding your eyes, so it might feel comfortable for some people to use "just cuz".
@@GusBried In my case, it reduces the "ghosting" I see when reading text. If I'm reading black against white, I get this double-vision effect that makes it look like there's a copy of the letters floating just above the actual text. This doesn't happen with white against black/dark gray. I use the Catppuccin Mocha color scheme on anything I possibly can for this reason. It uses soft pastels against dark grays, and it's super easy on the eyes.
@@Joomluh12 ...I legit just had one of those "wait, not everyone has this?" moments... It's totally on me for not looking it up until being prompted by your comment, but I just assumed the slight blur was because I spend most of the day on screens... The streetlights are probably cause of how glasses refract light... And I spent some time looking up milder dark themes for some of the daily software I use cause I'm fussy... You have accidentally opened my (slightly blurry) eyes!
@@GusBried Ha, glad to be of help! I actually had this same experience the last time I went to the optometrist. When they were testing my eyes, I described this effect to them, and they were like "oh yeah, that's just astigmatism". I had gone the majority of my life not knowing I had it, and just assumed that corrective lenses could only work so well at correcting.
OMG - controlling partner & accusations of ableism in the first story - here we are, right out of the gate! Ditch him cause he’s a walking red flag -
Also, Click’s point about increasing the use of the accessibility features to improve the metrics was exactly what I was thinking. Colour filters are not a limited resource.
13:05 Yeah the parents were definitely the bullies when they were their kids' age. Source: my mother tells me stories of how she bullied people 😀
First post: using accessibility features, and non intrusive aid items (think fidget spinners, slap chops, various bits like that, as opposed to wheelchairs) when not disabled actually helps disabled people, as companies can see the useage rates beung high and thus justify investing in/maintaintaing those features, and keep production going on the aid items, whilst the main population destigmatises those accessibility features and aid items and thus disabled people aren't ashamed to or bullied for using them.
So yeah Omega NTA, and boyfriend is Omega TA plus is toxic.
Love how you included posts where OP was in the wrong, I don’t really like it when people only include the ones where the others are in the wrong. Thank you!
Same, it keeps the balance in check.
Mom dating:
I was in a similar situation. When I was 15 my mom died of cancer. 6 months later, I came home and my dad had brought home a woman to meet me; she's now my step-mom. She's a sweet woman, and now that my dad's gone, she doesn't HAVE to have anything to do with me anymore, but she WANTS me around.
I never said anything. I wanted my dad to be happy. However, I also have found as I got older that I resented him for it, and it was PART of the reason we had such a strained relationship as we got older.
A similar thing also happened with my cousins, and the only thing that saved that relationship between them and their mother was that she divorced the man a few years later (but only because he was abusive toward her kids).
Anyway, I can't help but feel like the situation could lead to similar resentment, and tbh things need to be worked through between parent and child before dating should be attempted by the parent.
4:31 same thing with using subtitles you don’t have to be deaf to use them. Some people just like them, and some people have processing disorders.
I use them cuz snacks can be loud 😅
I use them because English isn't my first language, and while I'm pretty fluent, sometimes there's a word, or an accent, or a turn of phrase I don't get, and seeing it written helps.
They were a great help when I was learning English and German.
Put on an English program with English subtitles f.i and you get the benefit of seeing the words while hearing them making it easier to memorize them.
I absolutely love subtitles. I have a hard time watching TV without them, even in my native language. I have no hearing difficulties, but my insides flip if someone is loud in my vicinity and I miss something, but with subtitles, I don't miss it and my insides don't freak out. Subtitles keep me sane. 😅
I use them because sometimes I don’t understand what was said due to accents, loud background music, fast speech and I have to admit I’m in my 60s and might not hear quite as well as I did while being far from deaf.
24:08 I am disabled and my mom had to leave her job because of it. She always lives anxious of something happening and asks if i feel alright even if im just chilling because I have very fragile inmune system, but honestly I respect her for that I also wouldn’t want my child going to the hospital every day. So onto the story I respect your opinion you lose time to do anything other than take care of your child, and you can get serious mental health issues NTA.
One of my favorite comebacks to the whole “you’re not wanted” bullying taunt is “at least my parents chose me”
It NEVER fails to shut the bully down
How aren't they wanted? They are definetly wanted because if they weren't they wouldn't be adopted.
Also what means choosen?
Adoption of a human person is not adoption for a dog you don't get to choose, if anything the birth person would choose (the person that birthed the kid would choose if you are fit or not).
@@daniel-teodorcirca7524 He's talking about the bulliers, in the situation that OP the child was, this person thought this line to be the best comeback to the harrasment*
@@newcheese9882 First part I know what they ( is not a gendered name what they have) is talking about but it is not a good line.
The best thing is to not try to excaladate the situation but to involve authorities and/or find a way to get along.
The best thing I think I would do in the case I wouls have a kid in this situation is to try to have a weekend together with the parents of the bully, usualy it is a main one, and to try to understand what went wrong, maybe is just that your kids don't get along but it might be that the other kid is grown in a toxic eveiroment.
Kids can be mean but if you try to find the reason why they have some type of behaveiour you can change that easier than if they grow up having it.
Corecting at younger age is better than corecting letter when you might be unable.
Also they might feel better after.
As a disabled child to abled parents- The concept of us being only a blessing and never being a burden is entirely a lie. I am both physically and mentally disabled. It's.. not as severe as it could be, but enough that like.. I can't fully take care of myself. I will forget to both eat and buy food. I cannot drive. I will always depend on someone else in my life. Having even a more mildly disabled child means you could be taking care of someone until you literally die and thats a very serious very big thing. I refuse to have any children, and am willing to force a miscarriage if it goes that far because I have chronic pain among the rest of everything and knowing it's very possible any child i would birth might be in pain 24/7 I believe it is cruel to make that happen. This is also ignoring personal risk and me being a trans male whos natural hormones are fucked up to the point that periods make me genuinely suicidal. So like, it's not just abled people that think about this and choose not to have children because they are likely going to be disabled. also your body your choice and allat.
Something I struggle to understand is how much a scarcity mindset exists in society. As someone who uses text-to-speech because of vision loss, a sighted person trying out VoiceOver or playing with Dark Mode, or changing the font size on their phone settings is not going to change the fact that I have permanently damaged optic nerves. Someone who benefits from those types of settings, whether out of necessity or or otherwise, does not take away from my experience with using those same settings. This kid’s heart is in the right place, but damn…chill out dude… 4:41
The story about the sisters shunning the one who doesn't want kid: I have a strong feeling that they are projecting and haven't come to term with the fact that some of their children are disabled because THEY took a risky gamble on their health, either because they only cared about having blood-related children or because adopting is a lot of work and money.
42:26 i have a controversial take on the pants down thing. I would have taken it literally...not a sexual thing or to make anyone embarrassed. I struggle with hints and dont realize when people are being figurative. This could genuinely be just a misunderstanding of they were told
Yeah. It's improv comedy, so this isn't out of the question.
Yeah, it was an honest mistake. What makes the person the butthole is the fact that they seem to have defended it a bit too hard and not truly apologized after, being more like "I'm sorry you feel that way" instead of "I'm sorry my actions embarrassed you", if you understand what I mean
@@iclynnx oh that makes more sense. My bad there lol
@@iclynnx No, they were still trying to understand whether they should've known or not. They didn't take those concerns to the friend and undermine the apology, they took them to reddit to get advice.
I agree. I get that the result was bad and an apology is needed but sometimes doing something that requires an apology doesn't mean you were a jerk either. Sometimes it means that you genuinely did not and could not have known better, things went wrong, and now you just have to make it right. They didn't do anything bad, it's just that this didn't turn out to be the right course of action. I really don't think setting your friend on fire is comparable to them telling you to pull their pants down during a comedy show, and then you actually pull their pants down.
Like... where is the limit? What if they were told to splash water onto him? Would that have been too far? If he said to slap his butt? I have seen these things on comedy shows before, I've even seen the pants pulling. I don't understand how you're supposed to know which of these things aren't allowed when they're actively telling you to do it. And who would think to mime themselves pulling his pants down? "Haha, they made a motion near his pants that looks like the motion you'd make when pulling them down! Funny!"
No man, the audience would just be confused what happened and what the joke is!
I was also obsessed with Snow White in my youth, went through a year of criticising every Disney princess, and since I've learned a lot of things. First off, historical context for when the movie was made, people needed hope. So that's why the character of Snow White is so blissfully cheerful. Second, SHE'S 14 YEARS OLD, do you know how many 14 year olds knew even less than what she did when she got almost m*rdered when I was at school? Also, she was sheltered from everything, apparently from birth. She seemingly didn't interact with other people, she was forced to work as a slave in her own home, and presumably she wasn't allowed to study. What was she supposed to do when the person in charge of her home suddenly wants her dead? Plot revenge? Become a sword prodigy out of nowhere? Make an elaborate plan to take back her kingdom? She was a child! She would have been getting her period for maybe three or four years! She was an innocent and cheerful child who literally couldn't know any better. When she runs away she's justifiably terrified by everything around her but cheers herself up. She's a good role model because she's also so unbothered by everything. Like there's Grumpy being a bitter old man that even his mates can't stand him, being all huffy and puffy, and she's all like, "Ah, well, not my problem. Let me just make fun of him a little," and she literally is never even scared of him. Also she never expects anything for free and that's why she tries doing what she knows how to do (housework) to convince the inhabitants of the house that she deserves a chance to stay. She's unbelievable kind to all that come near her. Being kind, hardworking and resilient sound like pretty good things to have in a role model. So what if she's a hopeless romantic for a man she saw once? She's been neglected for years and suddenly there's this beautiful man taking interest in and talking kindly to her, what was she supposed to do?
Omg yes! If you put the princesses in their full context, for the most part they're not vapid pretty airheads, they're kids in a story where their whole life is hardship and then something extraordinary happens that no one would know how to deal with. I have mad respect for Snow White and also Aurora (and Prince Phillip who gets no credit for being a BAMF)
On the other hand the prince is a terrible person.
She is a kid, she is in a bad moment and he just goes by and kiss her, no consent included, abd probably desire more but it is a kid movie so will we not know.
The hotdog story reminded me of my favourite saying: the axe forgets, but the tree remembers. It's very easy for something that, for the parent, was just a sucky Tuesday, for the child, is a formative childhood experience.
This is so true. My mom has overall been very wonderful but the worst thing she ever did, she doesn’t even remember. I forgive her because again that was an outlying situation but it’s so crazy how that works
Exactly. It's just normal for them, but memorable for us. I still remember what it's like to have untreated pinkeye for two weeks, they insist I never had pinkeye. I would rather get hot sauce in my eyeballs again than go through that again (yes, I somehow managed to get hot sauce in my eyes once, I have "skills").
When it comes to tech generally its better to have more people using an accessibility feature even if they dont have the disability it was designed for. A more popular feature is more likely to be kept in future updates and added to future products.
Colourblind people unite!!
As a fellow colour blind person the more people using the filter the more companies will include the options in apps and games.
The one with the colour filter is so weird. Does the bf think that there's a finite number of colour filters to go around?
I love that I've been able to find multiple games lately that explicitly have a "misophonia mode" or allow you to solely turn off the Eating/Drinking sound effects! I can't adequately explain the vindictive rage that floods through my body when I hear chewing or crunching sounds, ESPECIALLY when it's the first thing on a UA-cam video or they don't give me a chance to see it coming and hit mute. It's involuntary and immutable.
The mom should feel bad in the Snow White story
Not just "bad"...
Because she'll just make herself the victim and feel mistreated!
She needs to feel REMORSE, until she does, she deserves nothing from OP.
@21:12 As I recall, cutting off someone hair in the US is considered assault. If that's the case, saying you've removed/distanced the perpetrator of the assault after the fact still means the assault happened. That would be like the police stopping a beating AFTER the beating has happened. It's too late.
Fr.
20:08 something very similar happened to my dad in highschool, except instead of cutting his hair they cut his wrists. the school nurse gave him a plaster (band-aid) and sent him back to class. after nearly passing out from blood loss was he sent home sick. my grandmother came into the school asking for the kid to be disciplined and expelled but all the bully got was a slap on the wrist. my dad could have died and they did nothing. schools that slap kids on the wrist for literal ASSAULT whether it be cutting someones hair or cutting their wrists need to be held way more accountable than they are. disgusting.
Yep. At another school in my district a bunch of seniors decided to beat up a 6th grader for fun (no seriously, the younger kid did absolutely nothing to them, they just jumped him because he was there and they could). They punched him unconscious, punched his friend who used his body as a shield, attacked the teachers who pulled them off the kids, attacked the security guards who pulled them off the teachers, and two of them even attacked the cops who pulled them off the security guard.
So what did the school do about the 6th graders? Oh yeah, suspend them "for being involved in a fight", despite neither kid fighting back. They deadass called the parents like "We're suspending your child for being involved in a fight, oh and you can meet the ambulance at the hospital".
The one kid was admitted directly to the ICU and spent over a week there, the second kid was less injured and discharged the next day. The seniors (many of whom were adults) were given the same amount of suspension as the 6th graders. The only two who faced actual punishment were the ones who punched the cops (they were both 18), the rest only got restraining orders against the kids they hospitalized, and that's no punishment at all. Hell their parents got a worse punishment, because they got stuck with the ICU bill, even the students who were adults. This was over a decade ago and they are probably still paying off that bill.
The parents had to threaten to sue the school to get the suspensions against the 6th graders dropped. (I don't know if they still sued or not, just that the threat of a lawsuit got it dropped).
“Whaddup demons, it’s ya boi”
Skinny p-
10:26 just another parent that tells a perspective that they think is better than the actual kid’s.
Edit: it’s about adults not seeing their kids as people.
That bullying story reminds me of my childhood. I was bullied back in middle school one day I had enough of it and I punched that kid in the stomach he lost his lunch (my lunch that he had taken) and I ended up down the hall on my back with a swelling black eye after his friends beat me up after I punched the ring leader. I was the one suspended for a month and had to make that month back up with summer school, so I wouldn't be held back a grade. The next year, my parents moved me to a different school.
As far as the bully goes, he got two weekends of detention, and his parents had to pick him up from the principles office every day for the rest of the year. No other disciplinary actions were taken on himand this was after months of him bullying me and me reporting him and his little gang to the principle and ultimately to the superintendent of the school district.
That was nearly 35 years ago. I am glad that at the time, I didn't know what being transgender was, or I may not be alive right now.
30:37 I'm almost 37 (f) and me and my SO are child free and I have that conversation a lot about why I don't have kids. I love children and we wanted kids, but due to our economical standing we knew we couldn't care for a child like they deserve so we simply haven't. I have nieces and nephews that I adore and I get to spend time with and that fills that space in my heart. I may have children yet, but for now it's not something I can afford to do without making my child suffer.
In my country they blame the queer people for ruining the family ( the traditional one at least) but is more the economy that did it
Never would I imagine to be met with a LOTR (I think) character saying ‘hello it’s y’a boi’
Yes, it's one of the human specters. ❤
21:47
As my father once said,
There is an apology, which comes from actual regret.
There is an apology that is not actually an apology
And there is an apology that is only meant to pacify, in an effort to evade consequences for their actions.
41:49 I don't think he was doubling down there, just explaining his logic.
18:30 idk how it is elsewhere, but im pretty sure in germany cutting off someones hair without consent _does_ legaly count as physical assault
Schools these days are weird…. “We want to tackle bullying!” yet do anything they can to not deal with bullying. Worse you’re teaching the bullied kids that adults/authority figures don’t care about you, so the kid ends up blaming themselves (consciously or not).
Due to moving around a lot I was usually targeted for bullying… although I learnt to fight for myself at a young age (be it physically or just talked it out). Unfortunately bullying is a generational thing and I don’t think there will be an easy fix (beyond tackling it at a young age). 🤷🏻♂️
The bullying story got me twice because 1) I am also adopted and 2) my friend faced severe bullying that the administration did nothing about. The actions made by these third parties are vile. Good on the mom
17 seconds?! This feels illegal
:d Cause it IS
7 minutes feels illegal to
I'm not colorblind, but I like high contrast. It's your personal device. Use what you like. Also using a setting on your phone isn't using up resources for people that need it. Adrian's throwing up some red flags though.
The hair cutting can count as assault, right? Poor child, kids are horrible. Thanks to their parents for the most part... Please raise better kids.
The verbal abuse is assault, the pony tail cutting is battery. That's an assault and battery with minor physical harm. If the scissors used were brandished as a threat, you can toss on a weapons charge as well. That story is a misdemeanor and potentially a couple felonies all in one. If there's multiple incidents you can tack on harassment and stalking as well. Should be able to get a restraining order while awaiting trial. those bullies wouldn't even be allowed back on school grounds while op was there if it was all correctly reported and not just ignored.
@@Vincent_Beers I honestly hope it goes this far. People need to learn that bullying is NOT okay at any age. If there were more consequences maybe people who stop. Maybe.
Even untying girls bikini top is an assault, I think cutting hair goes further.
27:23 ohhh boy. My mom, in the mid 40s, didn’t start walking normally. They diagnosed her with cerebral palsy on symptoms. Her dad, when she was 16, developed walking difficulties. Based on symptoms they said ALS until the “he’s dead” thing, happily, wasn’t a sign. Multiple sclerosis, based on symptoms. That only affected voluntary muscles below the waist. When I was 19, Grandpa was a paraplegic and Mom could do a few steps with adequate walking aids. I tested negative for all the “horses,” as the doctor training saying goes. We had a dominant gene zebra.
And Dad’s sister with the disabling chronic illnesses and the asthma from Mom’s sis? If I rolled on the conditions in my family tree (D&D style) and so often for the hard option I would smash that die.
I usually quite enjoy living. I also cannot give a decent life to a child with a random half of my issues. Especially given trends in the USA politics and the worldwide issues that we can’t stem at this point.
I do support those who do feel secure enough to handle a condition they know intimately whether as a patient or as say a sibling who was only a carrier who saw both a sibling and their parents deal with the condition. As well as those who will love their nibblings and donate towards the research/treatment/aid (the last the help getting respite care or housing for adults or grants to made homes accessible etc) but are not having an affected child from their genetic stock.
I hate that "think horses" thing. If you hear hoofbeats, it's *probably* horses, but it could be cattle or deer or zebras and you won't actually know what it is unless you look out the window. So please, for the love of professionalism: LOOK OUT THE WINDOW.
@ fortunately, I had doctors who did the full tests for horses, and then did the tests available for cattle, and then tested for the zebras they were aware of. They looked through the medical literature available to aid them in identifying zebras. At the time that was something largely requiring they have it on paper (print journals/books). Which is all what they should do. I had 3 colonoscopies as a child because the teachers of the gastroenterologists I was sent to weren’t told about Celiac because they (the medical schools) thought it was a zebra, not a cow (obviously I live somewhere that cows… are more likely than horses but the phrase is the base sooo…). When my legs went weak they did MRIs, they tested for autoimmune diseases, they hit a wall because, in part, Mom insisted on coming to every neurological appointment as as a child she had some negative experiences with the specialty, (I was 19, had been doing the rest solo or parent on site but not interacting with anyone save small talk with a receptionist we knew from outside). And Mom voided the “do we do extra checks based on genetic conditions” idea saying cerebral palsy. Didn’t mention her condition had progressed, by far, etc.
Testing for horses, first round, gets most people getting proper treatment fast without bankrupting them. Doing cattle next, same. The zebras… one of the few things I want AI doing is running through the over 2,000-plus Rare Diseases with a person’s symptom list and giving specialists a list to begin pursuing when they keep getting negative test results
@@jenniferbailey1580 That would be a much better use for AI than stealing artwork!
I can relate to being the "practice" child being the oldest. I had to work summers to get a used Xbox and was yelled at for swaping from an Engineering major to a history one. Meanwhile my sisters got pre built gaming PCs and are either not in college or taking photography.
Im expected to work 40hr a week while taking classes because they made my middle sister live with me, who can only doordash because she refuses to work weekends, apply for jobs using websites, or even apply for Foodstamps
" kids with health issues are a gift from God "
Me with chronic illness: stfu
Right?!
Think about the kid! Think about what their life will be like, for THEM not for YOU as a parent, before you decide to become a parent! That's a PERSON you're creating!
(I mean it depends on what the health issue is, exactly, and in what country they're gonna live, etc., so there's context to take into account, but charging blindly ahead and acting like none of this matters is not the way!)
@@theuncalledfor Before my spouse and I got married we talked about exactly this, and what we would do if we found out a kid of ours would be disabled either by prenatal diagnostics or just by raising the kid and seeing what issues turn up in the course of life. For prenatal, there's a decision to be made about termination or continuing. For once they're born, there are decisions on how to handle the responsibilities we as parents would have for our kids, including whether to seek professional in-home care or even a residential care placement, if we felt we could not adequately handle all of them ourselves.
I think we need to normalize couples having conversations like this before they start having sex (if pregnancy is a possibility), never mind before they get married.
Exactly! I feel the same about the "autism is a superpower" bs. And the thing is, this rhetoric is mostly used by parents who secretly resent having to care for disabled children, but also feel guilty for this resentment, so they delulu themselves into thinking "disability is a blessing" because they don't actually know how to emotionally cope with the struggle.
@@LettiKiss I didn't know this. I thought it was folks like us telling us we could capitalize on our perceptual and related strengths to do things that most (NT) people can't, so we don't have to see our condition solely as a disability. I'm not a huge fan of the rhetoric regardless.
@@thou_dog That too, but when I see parents saying it about their children, it's usually because of what I wrote above.
School story: Take them to court and nail their asses to the wall! The school won't do a darned thing to fix things for the better for the whole school system unless and until they're held accountable for their consistent negligence. I'm speaking from experience. Back in the 90's, my former friend was dyslexic. She was in regular classes with an IEP (individual education program) and was getting harassed by both the teachers and the students. The school payed lip service to her IEP, but didn't really give all of the required accommodations. Her mom tried everything to get the school to do their due diligence before getting an attorney and taking them to court, but they just did the same thing they always did, which is the same thing the school in the story did: "Well, we talked to everyone, and we'll start trying to respect her accommodations, so please don't sue us." After the hearing, and getting their collective asses nailed to the wall, the school started implementing necessary and sorely needed inclusionary policies: ALL IEPs started getting followed to the letter, 'sensitivity' classes for all of the teachers, better accessibility for physical disabled students, and a new, district-wide anti-bullying campaign. Oh, and the teacher who had been bullying her either got suspended without pay for the rest of the year (the hearing took place in February or March) or outright fired. Sadly, I can't remember which. The inclusionary policies are still in place, but the school system just does the bare minimum to be in compliance, and people with special needs children still have to go in to the school and fight with them about the school's interpretation of what the child's needs are versus the doctor's and parent's interpretations. They don't want to get sued again, but they don't want to have to actually be considerate of the needs of others. Don't let the guilt tripping and the nay-sayers get to you,and keep moving forward with the lawsuit. It shouldn't have to get to the point of threatening a lawsuit to get them to address blatant physical assault in their school. If they won't deal with problems appropriately on their own, then make them deal with being forced to handle problems appropriately with the state breathing down their necks. Your daughter deserves better than what the school is currently willing to do. MAKE them do better, with the help of the justice system. Be the badass mom she needs you to be so she doesn't completely loathe her school years.
These people, especially the parents, really upset me and reminds me of this quote I heard: “every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserve a child.”
1:52 Say it with me now: LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND. LEAVE LEAVE YOUR HUSBAND. LEAVE YOURE HUSBAND. LEEEEAAAAVE YOUR HUSBANDDDDDDD
Boyfriend*?
@ nope I was making a reference to the song “remove your shoes”
@@DasypeltisKing then why did u time stamp it there huh? 😒
@@Ottermageguy bc he’s a red flag? Why are you giving me attitude on something that YOU didn’t get?
@@DasypeltisKing well u could make it match with the timestamped story…….
With the Iceland one it seems more nuanced. He invited his girlfriend to come and see the northern lights. If he pays for her (as it would be wrong to make her pay considering how this trip came about) even if the friend had any romantic intentions that would be completely destroyed and they could have had a nice memory made inspite of her. While the right thing is not to go if the GF doesn't come, I don't know how I feel about taking away your partners opportunity to see the northern lights as well as the opportunity to see the northern lights yourself for what reason?
Yeah, I really don't understand stuff like this? Like go for it, have fun. Would she have the same problem if it was a male friend of his?
I swear he would have such a market for cologne and perfume "who is wearing my duck fluff dreams... RACHEL?!"
The intro worked out AMAZINGLY, even if the suit is not the best, the delivery of "but I can smell" and what followed is an amazing combination of both LoTR and the usual Click intro. You're an incredibly creative man for such category of content. And very wholesome. Your community is a safe soace for me.
Oh my Godto, it's emotional support demon
19:49 from my experience, schools barely do anything to help with bullying. I hope the daughter in this story ends up doing alright and the bullies leave her the hell alone.