Thanks for watching! Once again, if there's interest, I might do a stream about this topic -- sort of a Q&A. There's a lot I still want to talk about, haha. Also, there are a few glitches in the video -- mostly at the end. As much as I want to fix them, It took *12 tries* to render this video. So, uh, that wasn't fun! Anyway, once again, Discord: discord.gg/VuwQ2tSFr7
*NO No No no no.* *This is common sense and there is no need for any scientific research or any of such unless for stupid people.* *Simple point, what is "I"? what is "You?* *What is you are an "Existent"?* *this is the only simple point.* All those research are just making things complicated and spinning the narrative as it goes into the future. The Exact Communist/ Socialist DemonRATs & chyna CCP. How is it so weird? cause the person who are asking it never think with their own brain. Because they choose and wanted to be stupid. That is why when I want to save someone, I don't encourage them to go to physicist. Color have meanings. but why the color belong to specific gender? cause of Communist Stupid morons and for one stupid people to stop thinking with their own brain. *And NO. You don't research these kind of things. Unless for Stupid Morons Communist.* Also, the way the content in the video explained is still not deep enough to the core. but a few layer deeper than the surface shell. congrat. but you need to put it straight and obvious so that it can smack someone on their face when is needed to. But there are quite too much error. You need to make it straight or someone is going to easily modify the narrative down into the future. That's some very important responsibility that one will need to takes if they truely care about it. *Ah, whatever. this world is pretty much useless for me to fight for or to protect.* *I don't care anymore. but if anyone touch JP, am after them straight. whether is their life or anything else, I'll use all options.*
I’m a female and I freaking love being in male models, I feel like I can be more of myself. I love dancing but when I dance in a female avatar the vibe of the people around me and myself feels more sexualized which is something i really feel uncomfortable with. But when I switched to a male it’s completely different attention and vibe that I feel females lack in RL and VR. male avatars make me more outgoing and goofy and reckless
@@lostdraft I noticed your Tomoko profile picture. (: Always happy to be going around the Internet and come across a Tomoko pfp. Always a blessing to see.
@@lostdraft I relate to Tomoko as well within the anime. I haven’t read the manga but I own it (it’s in Japanese though, I got it because I want to learn the language and that’s like a motivation. If I really wanted to read it now, I can read it online).
VRChat reminds me of anime conventions, where it’s not weird at all to find guys dressing as female characters and gals dressing as dudes. I love that, the ability to express yourself without (as much) judgement.
Tl;Dr: I got to be cute for the first time today. I've only just started VRChat a few days ago. I'm a big, square, almost ZZ Top bearded dude. But, my personality, I guess, could be described as pretty feminine. While I can do "cute" things, like baking fancy desserts, I don't ever feel like I'll be seen as that sort of cute in meatspace. And I've been aware of that aspect for a long time. The closest I've managed to get in meatspace is having a cute partner. Where we are seen as a cute couple. But I'm again aware that in those situations I'm only cute by proxy of her cuteness. So back to VRChat, I've been trying to work up the courage to leave my home world in a female avatar. My voice being the main problem. However, after stumbling into a group raid today. I got to be a cute anime girl in front of others. I even got headpats. It definitely felt nice at the time. But, as I digest my feelings to write this, I've started crying. I've finally gotten to be something I never thought I could. And I was treated like I had always been. It makes me so happy and fulfilled in a new way. That I was fuckin' cute today.
@@brightestlight9462 I know it sounds funny. I got the term from a research paper about VR and Transcendentalism. The term was coined by sci-fi literature and adopted by academic researchers. They use it because the emotions and experiences had in VR are just as real as those out of VR. They use the term to better reflect how reality, or real life, now includes what we do in the virtual world. Plus, it sounds like we're living in a cyberpunk future
My take- I think our society tends to ignore the male appearance. We act kind of as if men _can’t_ look good. Men’s fashion is homogenous and fits few body types. Men having appealing or interesting appearances is just not something that we really consider, so when someone wants to look interesting or expressive they gravitate towards the gender that’s been assigned the traits of physical attractiveness, expression and beauty.
Ooh, I like that take. As a female I have wished that women could focus less on attractiveness and put less time and effort into appearance, or getting objectified, and instead focus on being comfy or casual so I can feel better and also not have anyone attracted to me in that way. But it's interesting to hear the perspective of men in this- that they can't express themselves as well, and can't be as beautiful or attractive as they want. Out of the males and females, females usually get the showier or more memorable outfits so I can see why men would also be drawn to that rather than a lackluster "basic" male wearing the same outfits, same colors, same hair etc.
I totally get your point. This also hurts women because they always have to be attractive to be valued. They can’t be ‘plain’ for a day without people saying they are unkept. I wish people would just let people do whatever.
Happens in character creators as well, back in City of Heroes when they added Mission Architect I designed an entire custom enemy group from the ground up for other players to fight against in a storyline I wrote up for them. When asked why the entire group was female the answer was two-fold: 1) memory limitations meant I could not fit in a male and female version of every foe and still have the number of different foes that I wanted and 2) female characters have so much more variety in the character creator that I couldn't design males that were interesting looking enough to bother including and I wasn't going to cut out any of the girls for some comparatively boring looking dudes.
The way that I see it is that "gender" as a concept has no purpose in VR Chat so people just pick whatever has the best vibe or aesthetic or a character they just want to represent. Picking what you want and what you feel is the natural selection because of how "raw" VRChat is
Tbh it's like that in mmo's too, I always pick a female avatar and try to make her cool looking, like a female paladin, not cause I'd like to be one but because I just think that's a neat concept
I had way more female characters in City of Heroes/City of Villains than male. A large reason was because I found it more fun to design them in the character creator and yeah I liked having pretty things to look at while playing as it was third-person view as the joke goes if my camera view is going to be often focused someone else's backside it might as well be one I'd like to be looking at. Also with no voice-chat back in those days nobody had to know anyway not that I even hid it, behind the character name was an obviously masculine player name and anyone who asked got a straight answer. There was no "fluid" BS about it like people are overthinking these days, I never "identified" as the characters I was their director. It was a game based on comic books after all and controlling the character was simply me writing their story in real time, are men no longer allowed to write for female characters and vice-versa? That is an attitude for the wokels that keep infecting everything.
@@zerrodefex bruh why are you so pressed about gender? you talk a lil abt how you like making female characters and then devolve into calling vague stuff "woke BS". youre also asking "are men no longer allowed to write for female characters and vice-versa?" the og comment and the only reply said nothing about that, bro. youre reading too much into this stuff
i saw a lot of comments here about trans people sharing their experiences, but, tbh i feel like this is special even for straight males like me, i always used female avatars in games too, not only because of being straight and liking to look at a woman's body, but mainly because i don't really connect appearance to gender or things like that, i can wear a dress and make up and still feel 100% secure of my sexuality, that's actually the main thing i wanted to change in society, i want to be able to look "like a woman" without people thinking that i'm trans, i want straight men to be able to portray themselves in a feminine way but still feel secure about their own sexuality
I realize that what I'm about to write might not be correct in the eyes and experience of some people. I think the Trans people, as they show themselves, just hide behind masks. Run way from the "true" reality they are born in. On a deep level all of us wish to be not what we were born as, but what we would wish to be. However, most of us stand their ground and accept the true reality. That's what makes virtual reality, the "other" reality, so alluring for *everyone* It's a place of near limitless personal freedom and expression.
@@TurKlack I'd argue that the situation is flipped. Most people wear a mask of what society deems most acceptable, hide who they are to some degree. Gay people aren't born straight and then run from being straight, they're born gay and can choose to hide who they are or accept the "true reality" of who they are.
@@francegamer I'm not pointing at Gay people. Love is love. It is indifferent. And if a man loves another man, or the other way around, I'm fine with it.
I once saw a TED talk about a woman that had lost both her legs from the knees down, but instead of being a woman that was cripple she sought out ways to have prosthetics to function normally again. During the TED talk she was at a point that she had several prosthetics to choose from, and they were in different sizes and ranged from very functional to absolutely pointless. Wich brought up the issue that some people found it "unfair" she could "choose" her height for what she felt like on any given day. I believe it's the same in VRChat but to a even more extreme degree, I login to VRChat and I can choose how people perceive me. I can be cute, I can be burly, I can be nothing, I can be grotesk, I can be big, I can be small... and the reason for doing so is mine and mine alone. People that have an issue with this might consider it "unfair" that I can choose exactly how I want to be perceived as but to me it's just the reality of a VR environment.
oftentimes the question is between flight or invisibility as a superpower, but I was always fascinated by shapeshifting - VR's the closest I have to experiencing that dream power
No, it's more a question of what it reveals about you as a person. If you choose an anime girl avatar, either you're a thirst baiter, you're horny yourself, or you have mental problems that you need to sort out in order to be comfortable with who you are. In the latter case, not doing so shows that you are in a fragile mental state and that you're trying to rationalize this by making others think that you are what you present yourself as so that you can seek validation and approval, so that you don't actually have to do any effort on your part in trying to fix the underlying issues at hand that caused your fragile mental state. It's an easy way out, essentially, and I, for one, think it's something that you should avoid like the plague, because it becomes a habit real quick. As for the handicapped lady... well, she's handicapped, she doesn't _have_ working legs, so experimenting with different options when you get the ability to use prosthetic legs is fine, because it's actively fixing a problem that she has, and even then, not entirely, as she lacks some advantages that real legs would provide, so I think it's a fair trade off.
Okay sure, gender fluid, anime girls, yupp got it. BUT! Can we just acknowledge the Furry community makes the coolest shit in VR. The fact that the "Ready Player 1" movie only had ONE furry is arguably the most unrealistic part of that movie.
Agreed. Furries was greatly lacking in Ready Player 1. I have been to a lot of such worlds myself, even an old one known as Second Life wile in 2D, predating Ready Player 1 by several years, shows furries are very much on the seen, along with some more modern ones as Chillout VR and NEOS VR, also shows they should have been included in that movie far more. There is no furries in the rather sucky Horizon Worlds, for as far as I know, there is no option to make any for it. Sure Horizon Worlds, maybe Ok for some people, bu I'd never visit it, for I want to see F-N furries. And others fill that niche nicely.
Late to the party but here's my 2 cents. As a straight male I have encountered many openly LGBTQIA+ people there and had quite interesting conversations. It changed my views a lot as I grew up in a very anti-LGBT environment. Learned a lot, people on VRC are mostly very wholesome. As for everyone using anime girl avatars, well there is an acute lack of good male avatars. Also men generally prefer staring at cute girl curves and most VRC players are male so it's no surprise and nothing new.
@@pryma1604 I will say I’ve stumbled on a bunch of good quality male avatars just randomly sifting through worlds, but they are always of the same type of thin tall anime guy who’s either pretty boy high school uniform or bad boy in jacket, and you never really see anything as extravagant, detailed, unique, and stylized as the female models.
When I finally figured out how to explain why I like being an anime girl, I came up with "If I get to choose what I look like, I'm gonna choose to look HOT." And so I burst out laughing at "I just wanna be cute"
For real. I was into dolls quite heavily, and VRChat pretty much took over from it. The amount of shit random people used to give me about having dolls, too.
I started crossdressing in my old band a few years ago and nailed every aspect of it, including a convincing female voice... but I could only be confident enough to do the voice alone in my car. The second I spoke to others, I'd choke. VRChat gave me a way to practice confidence in the voice, since I didn't have a problem using it with strangers online, for some reason.
somehow i have convinced people im a girl on vrchat without them questioning it at all just by my voice, and i felt really great but still a 50/50 on whether i was 'deceiving' them, of course there's a term for everything and that would be catfishing and id feel terrible about that. when i try to speak to myself in the same voice, i cant tell if its what they hear so i wanna practice recording myself
@@darwinwatterson4568 If you just like the feeling and have no ill intent, then I wouldn't call that deceiving. You can always tell them you're a guy later, if they ask (and if you're comfortable with telling them). The people online that know I'm a guy admit that they basically still see me as a girl and are fine with using she/her pronouns (even though I ultimately don't care either way). Sure, SOME people will likely be dicks about it, but fewer than you'd think, and they're not worth worrying about anyway.
@@darwinwatterson4568 I mean if you like being referred to as a girl you're not deceiving anyone. You're only obligated to tell anyone how they should refer to you when you're uncomfortable (and safe to do so when irl).
The chapter about toxic masculinity really hits home, it's something that's been on my mind for a while now. This is an eloquent interpretation of what I think a lot of men feel, whether within ourselves, or within someone we know or care about. VRC really shined a light on just how much of the identity I've built over my lifetime really wasn't so much about me, but more about the meat vehicle I'm trapped in and the society I live in. I've had more meaningful connections and conversations with males in VRC than the rest of my life combined, by a long shot. Great video, well written, well made!
@@DrummerJacob Same, I wish there were a simple way of preventing or relieving that pain without having to drastically change someone's natural body. God bless anyone going through that struggle
Lol. Nani? Has nothing to do with masculinity and everything to do with humans competing for limited resources in the real world. In the virtual world this does not matter and people can let loose. All that toxic talk is just the brainwashing designed to discourage people from procreating by turning them against each other. The real enemy is the MSM and Gov who are the ones preaching it. 1984 approaches a little more each day :/ Now that's our toxic future. 'Toxic' men are trying to prevent this but they have no support because they are labeled as toxic. Mission complete. Peasants lose, elites win. Which are you? Remember your Gov most likely wants to ban anime gurls and force feed you flat-chest Rey Skywalker the male? or female? character. Now that's toxic. Sell that property to Japan already.
Also the fact you're talking about two men talking to each other as catgirls in VR? Really says a lot about modern women and what they offer. Lots of requests for Isekai truck.
Not to be over looked is how under served the good male avatar is to the public. I spent most of my time as a banana, hotdog and skeleton because i really had to dig through hundreds of anime cat girls before i found a normal looking male avatar.
As someone who’s autistic, I’ve dealt with extreme judgement from being “weird” pretty much every day I go outside, whether it’s silent judgement or full on hatred It’s so difficult to be away from the norm or to just want to be yourself and I’ve found a reprise in the few people I’ve met online, I’ve never had a VR Headset or have been in anything related to VR but even just in the general internet community, I’ve managed to find someone that just accepts me as the “weird” person I am, something that I never have and probably never will find in the real world
@@manictiger honestly, I believe you, I will admit that I sometimes get too mentally messed up when with my own thoughts, it’s undeniable that I was hated at school for who I was, since it was done right to me, but in college, which is where I am right now, it’s likely that my trauma and being so used to being harassed has coloured my judgement on… well, anyone really It’s hard to say because I’ll never know the thoughts of others
@@Yuti640 Watch the paintball episode of South Park. Sums up the intelligence of teenagers. Wouldn't put too much thought into what they think. Even my I.Q. dropped during those years, and I'm not exactly slow. Yes, they tested I.Q. throughout my life as part of mental healthcare re-diagnosis (they kept having to do that, because psychiatrists are quacks and don't actually know how to diagnose).
Dang, that toxic masculinity section really hit home for me. I am a straight cis male and have never in my life questioned that. It is an identity I am comfortable with. That said I am also an emotional person. I cry a lot, uncontrolably, especially when talking about anything that bothers me. No matter how hard I try, I cannot prevent it. As a boy growing up, naturally this was extremely embarassing, and often lead to me bottling things up and just avoiding talking about anything so I wouldn't be forced to cry. I am also a deeply empathetic person, so I would often find myself crying even at the negative experiences of others, and I tended to attract and collect the bullied kids around me because I was nice to them, with of course spread their stigma to me as well. Hell, even as a grown man I had a a 1 on 1 with my supervisor with some negative feedback in which I teared up. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. Thankfully in this example she was super nice and understanding about it. I also deeply relate to the idea of not being allowed to be a burden and not telling others about my problems. Even internalizing in my darkest times the idea that as an man my job was to, no matter what, fix the problem, and when I saw myself as a problem with no way to fix me, there was one "solution to the problem" that naturally came to mind. It is healthy to remember and talk about the fact that what is usually defined as toxic masculinity, the negative societal norms and expectations for men, hurt men, a lot, not just women. I'm not going to try and equivocate or claim one has it rougher than the other as I only know my own experiences. But the fact that is objective is that it does hurt everyone and benefits no one.
There is nothing wrong with being emotional as a man. Strong emotions can be a gift as displaying them can sometimes help to comfort those around you who feel the same way. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I sympathize and felt the same way. We aren’t as vulnerable because we are taught to hide it, but it ultimately makes us more like walls. Unfeeling and careless. I have only ever cried in secret and whenever I do is when I cry the loudest when nobody is around and only ever when nobody is around. I am sorry we have experienced these, but at least we know we experienced it together and we can understand
I'm glad my family taught me one thing in terms of how a true man should be. A good man, or father, will laugh, and cry, and tell you he loves you. He won't tell you to bottle everything up, but listen to everything you say, and hug you when it's over; even help you fix it if it's something that needs it. And a good man is one who knows when to ask for that help, too. I've had a lot of good men in my family, and I'm thankful for that.
I've been roleplaying since the late 90s, and most of which as female characters, I've mostly focused on being a catgirl for most of those many years now, early 2000s. I'd been this way so long that it felt totally normal to do so in VRChat, except my voice always throws myself off, when I'm mute in VRC I feel more normal oddly enough but at the same time I'm more comfortable being able to talk in general in VR than I generally am IRL, or on the phone or anything. Its kind of strange really, but I do feel at home almost in my catgirl avatars though. That said I'm not trans or anything like that, but the one guy that mentioned "Maybe I want to be cute too" hit home for me most of all I think. I mostly just want to be cute too~
@@hukihuki4135 I'm also curious about that, it barely answers the question in my point of view. Boys and men can definitely look cute as heck, so why girl avatars?
@@404-o9d Simple math on that one: Most men find girls cute. Men don't often find men to be as cute. So, to be cute, men will find cute girl as representation. It's probably less bi than you think.
I wanna be a cute anime boy. towards the beginning of this video there was a shot of what I assumed to be a boy avatar looking at themselves in the full body mirror and my heart literally skipped a beat...I wanna try vrchat entirely for this reason...
I struggled with my gender identity for a very long time. Having been assigned male at birth and growing up deep below the bible belt, the idea of being anything other than a stereotypical male was terrifying. I remember in high school seeing the one openly homosexual person getting called every slur imaginable, having their car vandalized and receiving multiple death threats. It wasn't until I stepped into VRchat for the first time that I realized I was comfortable looking feminine. It's essentially the only place where I can socialize with others and be 100% myself without fear of violence. And while VRchat has it's fair share of trolls and bigots, it has just as many welcoming people. Thanks for making this video, it is absolutely amazing.
I grew up in a simmilar environment. As a male i've always had more traits percieved as feminine such as being skinnier and shorter, not being intersted in sports whatsoever, and in general a lot of things that (at the time I was growing up and the environment I was in) were way more effeminate. I never really got along with or understood a lot of boys around me because they just thought so differently. When I finally came into my own on the internet and was able to kind of shape my personality more as I finally met some friends I realized I could be a male and still be more effeminite. Although it wasnt to the point of full gender idenity struggle since i've always known I was a male and it's what I wanted to be, I struggled to see myself when everything else I knew about being male contradicted most of who I was and am. The idea of being trans or homosexual or anything of the like was entierly unknown to me even after I figured that out, so when I met several friends who are a part of lgbtq it made me realize more that I don't HAVE to be a steryotipical male who's able to lift whatever he wants or not be emotional or anything like it, I can shape myself how I want. I haven't gotten to try vrchat yet due to time and lack of a vr headset, but it still brings me comfort to know i'm not the only one who ever went through anything simmilar, and that theres a place where people can just be who they want without anyone batting much of an eye at it.
Your post warms the heart, on the finding a place to totally be you. I've watched VRChat vids and streams about three years and was finally able to get into it a few weeks back on desk top.. And it's been a little over a week now in VR and I love it for being able to be so social. And the amount of "open" people on it is really awesome. But back to the point, thanks for sharing Threevee, always nice to know we're not alone in these things. :)
@@logbuzz so turns out people like being anime girls "because omg LGBT!!" i know this sounds crazy, but maybe people like being anime girls because, oh i dont know..... because THEIR ANIME GIRLS, AND PEOPLE WOULD RATHER LOOK AT BO0BAS AND STUFF RATHER THEN B A L L S. idk man just a thought
35:00 I'm transgender MtF and this is essentially what we do as well. Because looking like "a dude in a dress" is so frowned upon we have this concept called boymode in which we keep on hanging onto our male identity as we're taking body altering medication. It usually goes on for quite a while and I'm at a point now where many people perceive me as a girl until I speak. Even though I'm wearing mens clothing. The entire point of my transition is to obviously be perceived as a woman but clinging onto that male identity like this allows me to tell people that I'm not trying to be a girl and that they're the weird ones for thinking that. I think it's the same social mechanic used to say presenting as an anime girl in vrchat is just a joke or something. It's like by doing it we are able to direct back the negativity at whoever is using social norms to attack us.
Yep, as another trans woman I can add to this. I am often perceived as a woman until I speak and will often give people a gender neutral version of my name like Kay or something along those lines to create a shield of plausible deniability. I think it’s in large part thanks to internalized transphobia as well as trying to protect myself from people and situations where I don’t know if I’ll be safe or not.
@@ThiccInk I think there is some sort of voice training you can do, but I don't know how easy/effective it is, or whether it's even possible for all people. I would assume it is though.
woah holy shit thank you for sharing this. i may be trans, dont know yet, but i know for a fact that i am very passionate about some things like working out that are considered super masculine, so i stopped for a while as im waiting to get therapy still. ive had this feeling that i will be a surprisingly masculine either nb or girl for the most part, even if i do some feminine things occasionally
I’ve wished I was a woman on and off since I was like 11. Being able to see myself in the mirror as an anime girl was amazing. I don’t exactly id any given way but vr is really fascinating.
Ever since finding out about VRchat, I have been chomping at the bit for talks/essays/study into this very subject. I think the psychological implications of virtual reality are just beginning to be explored. Awesome job. You've definitely earned a sub from me.
Im' a girl, and i'm fine with that, the reason why I prefer neutral or male avaters is that I feel more normal and not sexualised, people act so weirdly when you"re a girl, like wtf I just want ot have friends and fun, i'm not a sexy ufo.
exactly, i feel like if i make my gender obvious on the internet then i will just get unwanted attention or harassment, which happens to a lot of girls. and i also just think a lot of gender neutral avatars look cool
Does it make you feel any better that men pretending to be women get that same sexualized treatment, and like it? Women complain constantly about getting attention, but I dont think many of them ever consider what it's like to be ignored by all women as a man when you desperately desire attention to the point you'll take negative attention happily just to not be invisible
@@xraceboyex Dude, I remember last time I tried to rp, we had to go to vocal, when they found out I was a girl, they got into a weird silence and left the discord chat, I'm speaking of that kind of treatment, I don't have a problem with using a feminine avatar, but I've noticed that it's sometimes safer in some communities to not say your sex or gender not only because this communities can give you "negative attention" but also because they just don't give attention at all or put you aside (for example the RP) And playing as an avatar in the attempt to have attention is ok if you're asking for it, but often people don't want this treatment and want to socialize and speak and not fear a weird treatment because of cliches, they want to be seen as people and not a category. And it's funny because I'm saying that, but now I don't really care, I think I just got some bad experiences in some communities, but overall I don't have much problem now, it really depends on the communities and most people are not like that. and what do you mean ignored by womens ? they don't own you anything ,why complaining about girl's attention, you can get ignored by guys too, nobody has to give attention to anybody, and being ignored is not something that happenned to a gender and unwanted attention is not something you like, you said it yourself, you're ok with it, if you're playing as a avatar with the specific idea that you look for attention, then it's not unwanted attention ? maybe you got some bad experiences with girls but unwanted attention is not that, being invisible is not because of your gender, I'm seen as a invisible person, it's because of who I am (for me it's a lack of confidence and bullying from a shitty school lol) and my gender doesn't change that, I think you're overall looking of attention, and that I can get it,but girls don't get all of the attention you are searching for, and thrust me, unwanted attention can sometimes be really fucked up, we are speaking of vrchat, but it can come from families,friends, strangers and stuff like that, you have a hard time thrusting your family after they start to say '' oh maybe it's was a accident" loool, what I mean is don't underestimate what "unwanted attention" can be. omg I hate genders, it's full of cliches on every sides, but it's an interesting subject, and we are not experts lol English is not my native language, so I make a lot of mistakes
Lots of women's names used to be men's names. Like Valery, Margaret, Marjory, Hillary to name a few. Women wore long dresses or skirts that went down to the ankles. men wore mini skirts. High heel shoes were invented for men to make them look taller. Women were not allowed to wear them. So gender changing has been going on for hundreds of years. When i 1st went into VR chat i was hearing mens voices but all i could see was female avatars and it took me ages to work out where the mens voices were coming from.
The only time I was able to go into VR chat, I heard a guy say "why do I feel so strange?? Whats wrong with me? Why do I feel weird?" And then he fiddle with his settings and his avatar started moving more smoothly and he said "ahhhhhn! I feel better now"
I do believe that cuteness is an immutable law of nature, it increases survivability and is likely part of what led to the evolution of empathy in creatures that can express it. I'd say desiring cuteness is a base instinct.
As a woman, I prefer male characters. When I play a female I feel sexualized. Im guessing I select male characters because im protected and dont have to worry about being a woman just existing.
As someone who's genderfluid, the ability to completely change how people percieve me at the click of a button is a dream come true I can literally change how i look as my gender does it's fluidy thing, it's amazing
As as someone who was born male. During my childhood I was never interested in all the stuff a cis male goes through in life. I was the type of person who liked the look of feminine things such as clothing/shoes. But I was too afraid to put feminine clothes on in fear of being bullied. so I've kept it a secret most of my life. Finding VRchat was such a big deal for me because I can finally express my true self in the virtual world as a AroAce female. But the real world me is still a problem. I would love to come out and tell everone my real self but im still afraid of being disowned by my family and friends. But for now I can enjoy my real self in VRchat
Dont come out until you are ready, but remember that not coming out, but being out to our own self, well, it can be mentally exhuasting.. It's like tearing off a band-aid. We can wait until we believe the wound is safest to have the bandaid taken off, but thats not going to stop it from hurting like hell. I should have done it when I was a teen// I came out and transitioned in like, 2017... I was really scared for a really long time, and it caused be to try and escape that fear through a drug addiction that I almost didn't make it out of, and a lot of my friends weren't as lucky as I. I'm just saying that it's not an easy thing to postpone all alone. Make sure you have someone, anyone that you can talk to about it. Hell, even seeing a gender therapist online without actually transitioning can really help keep your head in a good place and even help you make progress while in the closet, rather than it being a complete and total prison.
As an NB person myself, VR chat really is magical. I live in an area where the concept of non-binary is so utterly alien that it's out of the question to try and explain it. The language itself is strictly gendered. And in VRchat, I can really pick avatars that reflect the way I want to project. There aren't many of them, most are either exagerated anime girls or big manly ones (or an array of monstrous ones), but the few I was able to find, I've really connected on a deep level. Thanks for this essay, really puts it wonderfully into words!
Having watched it, no youtuber has ever deserved subscribers, notification gang members and likes more than this lad. And as a trans girl myself I feel I have to say this, don't worry you said nothing wrong, in fact, you hit more than spot on.
Most people I've seen are dudes with insanely low voices and anime fox/wolf boy avatars. Though there was this one time where I joined a russian milk carton in his quest to convert the server to communism but we don't talk about that.
Personally I find that the only avatars of any quality are anime girl ones. Gender doesn't mean too much to me in total, especially not nearly as much to me as asthetic does. If I had the time and ability I may make something different. I do plan on commisioning an avatar at some point but it will probably be a creepy looking monter girl, but thats because I enjoy that asthetic.
This essay was fascinating to me. First off, Im not very good with any of this vocabulary, so if I'm using the wrong words excuse me. I grew up in the middle of the bible belt, now living in the middle of the rust belt. My friends and family are almost entirely straight, with the one family member that wasn't having been killed by fentanyl. My one friend who was openly gay in highschool still identifies as male though he dresses almost entirely in drag, and I guess he's gifted with damn good genetics for it because I've never seen anyone more "passable", and he was the one that helped me discover that I'm not attracted to females specifically, just what is considered to be feminine, for example, strasz here is equally attractive to me as a bald guy as they are with the purple wig. That opened up the rabbit hole of sexuality and identity to me. Now, a married man with a child, my wife has gone on a similar journey of discovery. I think of myself as a faceless, genderless individual soul that happens to inhabit a male meatsuit. I wouldn't change that personally, but I can see the attraction for those that would. VR chat has allowed me to be so many things, from a house cat to a xenomorph, but I've never actually considered putting on an anime girl. I still think an empty suit of masculine armor is probably the most accurate portrayal of myself, and that's where my online avatar comes from.
That last sentence about the empty suit of armor reminded me of Alphonse from Fullmetal Alchemist, I only saw the first few eps so I don't know how much people's perceptions of him as a giant armor suit changed his previous identity as a 14-year-old boy... I'll just leave that thought here for someone more knowledgeable in FMA to expand upon 😏
I feel like the prevalence of "anime girl" avatars is overstated and on the decline as more selection becomes available. Going into random public worlds or private clubs will both present a wide variety of avatar types, male or female, anime, meme, furry, or otherwise.
@@shadowshinobin8641 Ehh, I'm gonna be contrarian just for the sake of it and say that the best thing a human can do is help others. There are some really shitty people in the world and we'd be a lot better off if they weren't so much themselves and were more kind and beneficial and good.
im non-binary and realized i was that when people called me they while i was in an alphonse elric avatar and i felt good hearing that and this was after years of feeling confused and ig not realizing non-binary was a option? i didnt feel like a girl or a boy and didnt have the vocabulary to express and explain it. that was when i was 17 and im now 21, im out and have an accepting and loving family so im quite fortunate and so grateful for my situation. VRchat has helped me alot with that, its help me meet some amazing people who are much better then any friend ive ever had before, i understand myself on a much deeper level and i can be myself without fear of being judged or bullied for just being me. of course ive experienced hate there but thats to be expected and a reminded that VR isnt a complete escape. i want to help my sister who is trans to play VRC and help her experience more gender euphoria
First of all, I would like to thank you for exploring this topic and sharing it with the world. I purchased a Oculus Rift before the pandemic began. I have been identifying as a trans female since middle school, yet my father and family have always been against those things, so I lived always hiding it from everyone after a certain incident with my father. I had finished High school when I started playing last year and was harassed like the trans woman in your example, being called a trap and to not talk to me. I learned to deal with it and just to not interact with anyone due to how painful those remarks were. I found an avatar with a pink dress that also had a trans flag on her that helped me continue playing the game due to how content I felt with myself just by looking at the mirror. It was only after a few months after a woman approached me and asked me how I was and if I wanted someone to talk to. We talked and she explained to me that she had a support group and friends that were all trans woman. After that day, my entire life changed. I had friends to be myself with, friends who would listen to me and support me everyday, friends that taught me about the process and how amazing it feels to go through treatment, they gave me hope like I had never felt before. I am now in my last semester of community college and am planning to move out as soon as I graduate so I can finally start the process of becoming the real me. And I am not afraid, if my family does not support me, I have them to push me up. Thank you for making this video, I will now subscribe to you, you seem like a genuine and honest person.
This encourages me to keep making sure I'm doing outreach for the queer groups I'm involved in. It's so important to keep an eye out for people who have been figuring it out on their own, I'm very glad she talked to you :)
so, trans woman here, i remember a while back i was questioning my gender a while back, and i was working on getting the old kinect working on pc (in unity, funnily enough) and i had the thought of 'hey why don't i link it up to my phone to do vr with', using i think it was called trinus? but i got it working and i told one of my friends who jokingly dared me to hook up a female avatar to it, and so i played along with it, hooked it up, ran everything, put the headset on then... i just froze, i think it was about 10 ish seconds before i broke into tears, i'd never EVER liked what i looked like, and seeing myself as female in the mirror for the first time, it broke me (fixed me?). i just, augh, vr is such a good tool for testing out stuff like that, it's game-changing. thanks for making an essay on the topic! nice to know i'm not the only one like this haha
I had kind of a similar experience myself, though without full body tracking. Vrchat is what made things finally click and made me finally realize who I was and why I felt so unhappy about my appearance.
When I hopped onto vrchat for the first time I wasn't playing any female characters, more just meme ones and such. One day I found a really, really cool avatar and decided to start using it. Not wanting to be stamped as weirdo and the stereotype that runs around with a female Avatar I didn't use my mic. Using more feminine gestures I found myself in a really weird place, seeing how people interacted with me differently, interacting in a much nicer way. It kind of left me longing for that feeling in the Real World but I just don't and can't see myself being trans, or even just genderfluid, accepting the fact that I am what I am.
Yeah I get you but for completely differnt reasons... I photograpth sunsets and share then on devantart among other things and I record gameplay videos on youtubve and recently got Microsoft Flight sim 2020 which let me see storms and sunsets in a differnt light... But um whenever golden hour comes I find my self going outside to see that gorgus florida sun then see a fake one in the sim even if it's the same sunset in the same area... So yeah VR makes me apcate the outside place more then I used to.
I often take on the form of a long sleeves catgirl that purrs. I choose to be mute while in that form! It gives comfort to those around me and just gives people something cute nearby. I do not talk but I do communicate through gestures as best am able... and if I must I change to a different avatar to speak! This social platform is amazing and I am always impressed with the creativity that people have in it.
Let's also not forget about the fact that thanks to CATS tools, there is a huge catalog of MMD models(anime girls) that can be easily imported into the game with little rigging effort. And that the male models do not have the same care and move much more stiffly. A lot of it is about ease of access to quality.
I feel like VRChat is a great place honestly, full of both awfully terrible yet uniquely interesting people. It is an amazing avenue for meeting and communicating with people because not only are you practically speaking to their face but you are capable to act and behave however you want. I always take shit every day from who I am or who I'd like to be on both the internet and the real world, so having VRC as a "safe haven" where you could be what you want, when you want, where you want, enables you to be your true self and explore different ways of expressing yourself with much less consequences, maybe even completely detaching your real identity from your virtual one. It can be a safe place where you can experiment and communicate in healthy ways, sometimes even coping and assisting people in their mental image and positivity. When I found VRC, it has greatly helped with my mental status. I'm not an addict, but going onto VRC and talking to my friends and having fun just being myself is something so rare in the real world, that even a little time in VRC can make a big difference on my mood, personality, and behavior. Most of the people I meet in-game just do whatever they want, because thats how they want to feel. It's also so difficult to communicate with people sometimes, especially in the real-world where talking to strangers is something so strange that getting asked "hello, how are you doing!" by a random person makes you feel like they've mistaken you for someone else, or that they've met you in the past and now you've completely forgot them. But in VRC, the whole game is talking to strangers simulator, which sounds weird to anyone who doesn't play the game, but to those who do, it breaks down social barriers and can help even with people who struggle with social experiences and meeting people. I usually use furry avatars in game, also. And yes, a public world can be full of toxic people or wonderful people, sometimes even a mix of both. I usually prefer to use sign language when I communicate in game, which already is an amazing capability in of itself, but sometimes even when I'm not speaking, random people speak for me in a public lobby where some random dude is harassing me for no reason. I don't really care about the troll but the fact that theres people there who don't even know you who will talk to you or be interested in you is already huge in comparison to the silent punishment most people might face based on their identities, or the near unestablished inexistance in a world where you're conditioned specifically to ignore people. I am also an avatar creator, yet no matter how many avatars I make, I really don't have a clear main avatar that I frequently use. To me, I just want to look like something cool and cute because its something fun for me, and it makes people remember me for my name and personality rather than my avatar, and the fact that people in VRC can look past the character and just see the lovely bundle of joy on the other side, that is really something. I've always enjoyed being in the company of others, talking and hanging out, but in the real world, it is something so hard for me to do, not because of social anxiety, but just because of lack of motivation, interest, and inability to "find" people. But VRC has changed that for me, and enabled me to find solace in a community where every day you could find someone new who will talk to you and make you feel welcome and comfortable. Even something like the cursed ERP (erotic roleplay) that can happen in the game can be healthy for some people. VRC cant solve everything, or magically make your life any better, but meeting people and making bonds and experiencing things that you could never experience in real life, yet is something you've always wanted to explore, or something you were curious about, is something that we all desperately need. Especially during things such as this pandemic, it gives people a window into a near perfect world where you can relieve your stress, and cope, and temporarily extinguish your problems and focus on the present. A place where you can be yourself and almost certainly be accepted somewhere in the community. Maybe you even find a niche or concept that you never knew you would enjoy, or wind up in a community of people you would have never ever met in your whole life otherwise. VRC can be a life changing experience for people who have lots of problems, are punished for being "different", or are just curious and want to have some relaxing time during the day. In VRC, standing next to someone means so much more than sending a text message or joining a voice call, and you get to show people exactly what you want to be, rather than what other people want you to be.
I got a few things, here.. first of all, not even 200 subs? really? this is like 1 mil subs kind of quality, A+++ on that!! As a trans female, i'd have to say vrchat really changed me, in a good way. Not only do people see me as well me. I can show people who i am aswell. And i can confirm, random deeptalks with strangers is more common than you might expect. I like vrchat for the sake that "I can be anyone" and having been training my voice, i can also sound like anyone i want to be. Though it's still difficult when someone responds with "Oh he's a trap, that's not a girl". I don't know how to respond to those. While most poeple i've met on vrc never asked if i really was a girl, most i've had is someone asking about my pronouns (Which is amazing btw). I've met alot of friends on vrc, some i've met irl. I can say vrc helped me, and also not at the same time.. The biggest problem is reality at this point, everyone online sees me who i am yet my body irl is still the ugly mess that is me. And sadly i can't just go out in a dress wearing makeup cus most people don't even know i'm not really a guy. And with my anxiety i don't even dare to try. Conventions are the closest thing i've gotten to irl vrc. Friends convinced me it'll be ok, and no-one would bat an eye. They were correct. I will always go to cons with them because that's a one in a year or so chance for me to be me. These moments and vrc have changed my patience aswell. Before i could wait for hormones without feeling a thing, however now i can't wait for the day i can go out and people will think "yes that is girl" without even knowing me. (also yes, i am programmer, i felt attacked at that part of the video. How dare you explain me. (though i don't like programmer socks)) I typed too much, feels like i'm making a school essay. Hell ,it might aswell be. Thank you reddit abd Strasz for showing me this, despite the fact i knew most of this, it still helped me haha.
Well, as a trans female, do you have a particular opinion about the culture of everyone being anime girls? To me, the most interesting thing about it and the hardest to pin down is the way so many perfectly secure guys are happy to wear their personal anime girl avatars unironically. Hell, I do it, and even I can't quite explain it.
@@CatgirlKazu quite honestly never really bother enough to think about it. Everyone is welcome to 'wear' what they want to, if they feel comterable in it then good on them! don't know why, but it's a fun thing to see, honestly
@@kayleewoz I honestly don't know. I have always been cusually training my voice, to the point where i actually wanted to sound like, well, a girl, i could. Though, i still don't know what i'm doing haha
Fully honest, this video is making me look back on stuff about myself and seriously reconsider my gender identity, I really want to try out vr now to get a better idea of how I see myself, thanks a lot Edit: 1 year later I'm trans, thanks for the video man xD
I went into VRChat as "5dmc1", tied to the societal norms of "be masculine and be tough, yada yada"...I used to put up thick walls and actually separated myself from the internet socially and didnt have any friends IRL because I was too timid and had been rejected and betrayed so many times because of what was deemed as "strange behavior". I didnt know what I was, I thought I was just weird... So i joined when the knuckles meme happened, figuring "this meme is hilarious, and since everyone finds it annoying, nobody will want to be friends with me, so I can just enjoy messing around for a bit as a 'desky' (desktop user) and then leave".....well...that didnt happen. At first, the expected, or rather wanted, response happened. People rejected me and found me annoying while I laughed my ass off at being a Ugandan Knuckles. But then something strange happened.... I was in Never Have I Ever, off to the side, in the corner, and the T.H.O.T. Police raided the world, one came up to me, dressed as a storm trooper and asked why I was all by myself, truth was I was tabbed out googling what the hell the "tide pod challenge was" and told him "meh, just sitting here, watching youtube...watching idiots eat Tide Pods" to which he found hilarious and called over his group and I repeated myself. Suddenly I found myself accepted into the fold and was going on raids with them, going to worlds, asking silly questions and when we got the wrong responses, shooting meme emoji out of our guns at people to "cleanse" them. I had been accepted. But this was just the beginning... Some days later, I decided to get a headset. They were all over joyed to see me for the first time moving my hands and being able to aim my meme rifle and finally properly express myself. At this point I found a member of the team who was in another word in a female avatar. I knew he was male and thought that was strange so I joined on him and couldnt find him. I looked around the world (X1 I believe) and found him on a balcony with several other men in female avatars. I wont detail on what some of them were doing as its not safe for work. But...I asked them why, and they took me to an avatar world for the first time that had all female avatars. They said they noticed that sometimes I acted like they did, slightly feminine and flamboyant, they asked me to pick out an avatar and try it out in front of the mirror. Me thinking nothing of it, I did it. I picked out a Yamakaze Succubus avatar and stood in front of the mirror....That....is when everything changed... I was able to not just see...but feel...her body...I felt her curvy waist, her long hair tickling the bare skin exposed by the skimpy outfit, I felt....phantom touch...for the first time...I wrote down the world and remembered where to find her and put back on my account uploaded police avatar and told them I had to go. But in my own private world I tried her on again.....and again...and again....I couldnt get enough of it.... Being that I also had past experience doing voice impressions, I knew how to control my throat....i could do Joker, Spongebob, and a few other very convincing impressions...so...I started working on a new one....an anime girl impression....Ill admit...I was afraid what my new friends would think if I showed them this. The rest of the group was all super masculine and all about enforcing masculinity with this joke police thing....but...I eventually told them....and they still accepted me. I stopped going on raids after a while though, VRC staff didnt like it cuz the meme cannons we used would lag people and our leader who made the avatars got a short ban for it. So I started hanging out with the few who introduced me to the avatar and helped me discover the new me. This led me down a bit of a rabbit hole, I started meeting more and more transgender people who discovered themselves in vrchat, more and more who were now even starting irl transitions because of what they experienced in-game. I decided it was time for my name to match my new persona....and so...Demon Rebecca was born...I commissioned a friend to make me my own version of the Yamakaze, one with a K-Pop style outfit similar to Evelynn's from the recently released (at the time) KDA Pop Stars League of Legends video. I rocked that avatar for many years until the VTuber craze started on twitch. I wanted to stream too like many of my friends were moving on to do. So I asked another friend, who did ground-up custom avatars to make me a new one, one that was 100% Demon Rebecca, one that exuded my gothic demoness persona. And now Twitch is my new home. I still get on VRC from time to time, my new avatar is converted to there as well, but due to some controversial stuff that I will not detail in this comment, I had to leave VRChat for the most part...the world that helped shaped me..had also left me scarred in a way I never thought possible.... So, for now, me and VRChat will be distant friends...hopefully someday we can reconnect, but right now, the game makes me feel a bit uncomfortable...when it used to be a place that provided me with a soothing calm...and feeling of being comfortable...in my true self... Edit: Thank you everyone for your out pouring of love and support towards me! I teared up reading a lot of your comments... Hopefully some of you will follow me on twitch and we can talk one on one there. 💚💚💚
Super inspiring to read about your journey. Im sorry you had to struggle through the negative bits that you glossed over, but Im thankful you shared what you shared. Have a great day, Rebecca.
Reading the first two paragraphs of this post and looking up to see it coming from Demon Rebecca, the cute anime girl, really hits like a ton of bricks. Thank you for sharing your story.
I get that I’ve always considered the feminine avatars a little more my style so that’s what I just used but recently after making friends through the vtubing boom and getting pretty involved in some communities I made the best friends of my life and I just had a layer of understanding with the trans community members that I didn’t seem to really have with anyone else and I realized after a joke about me being someone’s daughter and some self exploring after how great that felt I have finally realized that I’m probably trans I’m not 100% sure yet but it just feels right in a way ya know
@@IronMadden VR Pill isn't even one person. The original left a long time ago. Tupper was the 2nd VRPill. And they are currently on the 5th VRPill and hes pretty chilled.
I can only speak from a man's perspective on this, but breaking norms in a profound and thought-out way shows more strength than following them. It shows a solid understanding of your own identity and the confidence to express it with others.
Lol I'm trans and haven't told my parents that I'm transitioning yet. Your comment reminds me of my mom saying "He's just secure in his masculinity" in response to me growing out my hair, painting my nails, wearing makeup, and growing boobs. And that's fine! I love that she's willing to give me the freedom to express myself however I want. She's always been one of those "you get to decide what being your gender means to you" types of people. I think everyone deserves that.
I honestly want this kind of thing for an exploration of transmasc identities. Since guys are seen as 'default' in so many pieces of media when you see an afab person with a masculine avatar people will default to thoughts like, "Oh they are just...[avoiding harassment from dudes online][A lesbian/butch/etc.][Just playing as a dude because that is default]" But as a genderfluid amab married to a transmasc/enby afab we honestly get annoyed how discussions around trans exploration through media always ends up focusing on transfem/amab individuals.
I think it's because transmascs are pretty good at flying under the radar. At least in my experience, my attempts of passing irl have usually been viewed as tomboyish or lesbian. My voice is a dead giveaway that I'm afab. But when people learn I'm afab, the assumption is never that I'm trans, and any actions or symbols of masculinity I was attempting aren't put into much scrutiny as it would be for an amab performing femininity. There's also a lot more hatred thrown towards transfems. Me coming out as a transman has been at worst, told that I'm confused and actually a lesbian. It's a double edged sword honestly. A part of me likes the silent treatment. In online spaces, girls are questioned if they are secretly guys. When I say I'm a guy, it's simply believed (at least until I turn my mic on). It feels lonely sometimes. But I don't want to come out of hiding either. There's possibly a lot of transmascs hiding on the internet like me. It's the one space I can run to for full validation where no one is the wiser. Hell if I'm assumed something online, it's that I'm a gay man (which even though is typically used to insult me, it gives me euphoria).
@@karkatvantass3730 I think it comes with that shitty notion that all males are secretly perverts while women are more submissive and neutral in that aspect. And how, a comment mentioned above Female Identity= sexualized, Male Identity= desexualized The transmasc experience isn't really questioned a lot because with masculine being the default desexualized/neutral option people might just assume "she just likes dressing comfortably, isn't too bothered by her appearance, might just be a bit confused, is not a big deal" instead transfem immediately get picked with the rubber gloves "HAH! a MAN on a SKIRT and MAKE UP??? That sounds degenerate they must get their kicks from it..."
Not trying to be rude(if I was I wouldn't be here) but I don't know what any of those words aside from the trans part of transmasc. What is enby, afab, and amab
@@Saltius999 I don't remember what enby means (I think non-binary but idk), but afab means "assigned female at birth", and amab means "assigned male at birth" and is a useful indicator for both biological sex, and cultural experiences of a person
This reminds me of something I heard from a Gen X'er about Rocky Horror Picture Show showings. It was, in their words, "a place where you could _play_ with gender". Like, everywhere else in broad society in the 1970's assumed and demanded gender conformity, but no matter what you were feeling about yourself or how it fit with society's expectations, you could show up to a midnight Rocky Horror showing in your nearby big town in some lesser-known venue, wearing fishnet stockings, a feather boa, a bowtie, and a big, fancy hat, or whatever else, and you would look perfectly _NORMAL_ in that context. Cross-dressing or dressing up in entirely different attire than what would be considered socially acceptable elsewhere not only did not look out of place, but it *also* didn't prompt pointed questions like "Oh, does this mean you're a (woman/man) now? Does this mean you're into (women/men)?" No questions were necessary, _because_ it was so normalized, and whether you're a pansexual nonbinary person of color or a cisgender heterosexual white man, you were welcome to play with gender, and even for cisgender, heterosexual folk, that is a very valuable thing, because sometimes it is only through experimentation that we can really be secure in what is right for us, since we've tried on some other options.
An avatar in VR is like an outfit you wear, only it's not limited to just what fabric you put over your body. Similar to how the addition of glasses can make a person seem more formal, or smart, me walking into a server wearing a busty kermit avatar with a twerk emote can make me seem like a weirdo, or a man with bad taste.
This one is a great essay, from start to finish everything was on point. The Fluid Zone also looks like a great place, that intro was unexpected, very well-made and sexy in all the right ways. 10/10
i always kinda thought that gender studies was a joke of a study but i have gotta say i was really intrigued by the ideas presented in this video. good video, you have changed my mind
Watches insanely high-quality video with big production value... Notices only 200 subs... UA-cam hecc you and promote that channel... It deserves it more than 90% of the channels on the trending page.
I wonder if part of it is that we expect women to perform emotional labor - so like, by throwing on an anime cat girl it's like less hard to break the barrier for guys. Which is kinda sad in some ways but maybe we're making some progress. I know a lot of men really only express their emotional issues to their partners or female relatives/friends.
@@serendipity-tilde Sophie Wilson designed the ARM microprocessor, so not only is it common in the modern day, there is also a historic trend of talented trans programmers
I've always been super curious what it is that a lot of my buddies prefer to be anime girls. I've only ever really worn male avatars, but then again I was raised with "healthy male masculinity" (The strong will and confidence paired with a close understanding of your own and other's feelings, and being honest with oneself) So I've never felt a pressure to be female. Then again, I guess my "anime girl" thing is furries so yeah. One thing I've noticed is that it's very hard to find a "cozy" male avatar that isn't explicitly an e-boy, you'll usually find hyper-masculine soldiers or armor or guns and whatnot, so I guess there's an accidental pressure from within VR to turn away from male avatars should you ever actually want to relax. An interesting thought. This has been pretty enlightening though, I'll be looking at it all through a new lens from now on.
I really like the phrase/term "healthy male masculinity". A lot of discussion about gender nowadays revolves around femininity, which of course is a good thing, but it feels like masculinity is lagging behind. Being a masculine male without adopting the traits of toxic masculinity is very rare to see these days, and it's something I'm personally working towards.
I'd really like to take you on a deep dive into the furries in vrchat and why we are difficult to find if you don't know where to look. Furries tend to have completely custom made models made from scratch that they commissioned hundreds of dollars from an artist. Rather than kit-bashing in unity that is done with anime avatars.
not all of them are kitbashed, it's not a unique to furry thing, but kitbashing (and humans in general) are a lot more generic than furries ever are, which are far more dynamic, requiring a custom model. I have done kemono/furry models from scratch too, but it's rare to get something completely unique (and male). Meathamski's is one I'm quite proud of, and it looks like nothing else in vrchat.
I'm a cisgendered male who plays an anime girl in VRChat. Why? Because just like you said, when I first got into making avatars, it was far easier to find female assets to work with than male ones. So, after a string of low quality avatars of varying levels of suck, I went with one of the lead characters of one of my favorite anime: Momo Deviluke from To Love Ru. Never really thought a whole lot about it, it was just the first decent avatar I'd built and I had every intention of moving on to bigger and better avatars once I got the experience to do so. But then something weird happened. I started making friends. Between all of us, we formed a community. And I got to be known as that avatar...not only do other people not recognize me right away if I show up in another avatar (or switch to another one out of sight), but *I* don't feel right in any other avatar. I've tried making male avatars. They don't feel right to me. And that feels weird, because I'm not questioning my gender identity in real life...but maybe I am in the game? Is it possible to have that kind of split in your identity? I have no desire to be female in real life, nor would I consider myself nonbinary or genderfluid, but when in VRChat I feel comfortable in female skin and clothes, and to be honest it's a bit strange. But you know what? I like it anyway. "I just wanna be cute, motherfucker!" So I am, to the point that I have indeed created more avatars...of the same character in alternate clothing, holiday costumes, better physics, dynamic bones, better animations...and as the character evolved, so did I, becoming more open, more expressive, more social, and in some ways adopting feminine mannerisms and expressions. Hell, when I strap on full body and dance in VR, my movements are more feminine in nature because they fit the body I'm in, something I definitely would NOT be comfortable doing in my own skin. I also found myself, for the first time, testing the limits of my sexuality, and discovering that I am indeed hererosexual, but I'm panromantic, which is something I never would have discovered without this medium. In real life, I'm a cisgendered male. In VRChat, I'm a cute anime girl who's completely comfortable in a female body and comfortable with shrugging off the standards of masculine behavior, at least for that time. And in some ways, that six-to-eight hour span of time each week that I have reserved as my VRChat time is the high point of my week.
thats pretty awesome. But btw im wondering... did it change your personality outside? I've found that interacting as a girl has made me... more peaceful... less tense just more chill and happier and content, i guess.
Personally, in any game that gives me the option, I always pick the female version of the character despite being a strait male irl. I honestly never put much thought into it, it was just something i did. When I played smash, I liked playing Corin. They have two forms, I always picked the female form. Same with Robin, and also Byleth when they came out. Idk why I did this, I just did. Very interesting video! Thanks
I grew up picking the male character as I am a male and prefer that. But I had many friends growing up that chose female characters. A lot used the argument of “looking at their ass instead of a dudes”. To me I thought they just chose the girl cause they are attracted to them and are just horny. I would’ve never thought anything deeper than that till this video.
Nonbinary amab here. Just wanted to say that I was really really touched by the tenderness and insight that you exhibited with the discussion about gender euphoria/dysphoria, and your comments on the trans community overall. One quote in particular really got me--"A sudden obvious answer to a nagging question that was never previously acknowledged." That insight is so personal and it's really special that you were able to find that as someone who isn't trans. Sasuga Stradz-Dono, I am super grateful to have found this video and it's a privilege to have enjoyed your content.
7:40 this is why avatar ripping is such an uncool thing to do. It's one thing to copy somebody's random meme avatar, it's a completely different thing to steal the body they identify with. I'll gladly share my memes, but get your grimy hands off my personal avatars.
lmao this reminds me of being multiple and having a "fictional" identity (fictive) and feeling strangely irate about finding a "double." someone can look like you, and you probably have a twin irl outside VR chat too, but there is something much more personal about a raw self you identify with rather than just your flesh body itself.
In regards to gender, I suppose mine is just “cool dragon” at this point. Being stuck in a wheelchair I don’t get to socialize as often as I’d like outside of my home, but VRC has opened up a whole entire world for me. I’ve found friends, community and comfort in self expression. Sure, public worlds are a hassle when you’re wearing an ambiguous, non-human avatar, but I don’t mind. I feel comfortable and secure. Hell- I’m even getting a fully custom model to fit me to a T and I’m more excited for this than I have ever been for anything irl. I know that getting this silly amalgamation of triangles is gonna feel like my first *truly* exciting birthday. VRC is something incredible and for all it’s flaws I’m glad it exists at the same time I do. I’m thankful that I get to participate in this wonderful phenomenon.
I just want people to understand. It's completely fine to be a male who enjoys things that are perceived as feminine by others and society. And it is completely fine for a female to like things that are perceived as masculine. Just because you like these things, doesn't necessarily mean you are now the gender that is associated with these things. I have nothing but respect for people brave enough to be who they really are, but I have known people who unfortunately have jumped the gun on decisions like that and have ended up incredibly miserable as a result. It hurts to see because people just need to be honest with themselves. Please, just be true to who you are.
It's true, I used to believe I was a transgender FTM folk because I could not fit into any usual or even uncommon archetypes of what it means to be a woman, having "woman issues" e.g. usually revolving around worrying about their appearance or having some attachment to define themselves through it, through clothing choice or application make up, conducted behavior to society and meeting expectations, caring about how men and women judge them for their perceived lack of femininity (like shaving their body hair, etc.), and as an important sidenote, I was never the expressive type either. No one ever knew what kind of emotion I ever felt, no one ever knew what kind of internal battles I've faced. What do you think when you hear that other than, typical "male" issue, right? Then there's also the aspect of free time and how it's statistically handled differently by gender, personally I grew up as a gamer since I was in toddler ages, in terms of music my main genre is rock and metal, I'm also not interested in make up or fashion (my personal ideal of fashion is a black t-shirt with jeans or something), I'm very emotionally open with my friendships now and all but I could never care less about tropes of romance and falling in love and all, have never gotten in any relationships or heck, never even had my first kiss as of yet (I'm an adult) getting married or especially having a family never crossed my mind or my interest, never had that "mother" instinct so many women around me seem to speak of, so on and so forth, you get the point. I'm not even gonna lie, at some point around 15 years of age I started feeling like everyone around me tried to push me into this box, the box of what I was "fated" or "supposed" to be as a person born with a vagina, to the point where I was just confused. I wanted nothing more to be left alone, but alas, I guess that was too hard for them, so I ended up having a lot of conflicting thoughts, I ended up identifying myself as a male for the past 3-4 or so years, that was until the realization hit me; non of these things have to be tied to gender. Identity is just the thing we'd like to construct based on how we know our genuine selves to be, and how we want that to be perceived through the eyes of other people, socially. Gender identity in specific is even more about trying to translate this message. I'm not going to say that being trans is invalid as everyone's experiences are certainly unique and arbitrary, but I think it's worth to investigate about the psychology behind wanting to see oneself as something you're physically not. I know what I went through was very genuine, and I was having pretty much episodes of gender dysphoria where I started hating my body only due to cursing my assigned gender at the time.. it's crazy to think about it now, because I no longer feel that way. I tried reflecting a lot, meditating a lot, diving into the psychology of things a lot, and so, over time, by changing my perception of what things meant and trying to identify the real issue, such as what really bothered me at the core (social perception, wanting to match my true identity to it) I started becoming fine with the idea of not conforming to my gender. Too bad people around us are still gonna give us crap about it. Apologies for the long chunk, your comment just made me feel like I had to share my two cents on this. Never really talked about it much except with one bud of mine, my point really just boils down to this: there is nothing inherently female or inherently male about behavior, personality, hobbies, etc. even if we can find occurring patterns pointing to one direction, I largely believe there is a lot of work of social conditioning behind most things that drive people nowadays. I was personally a very introverted, isolated kid that never got socialized much neither got to spend time on social media, thus, I ended up avoiding any sort of conditioning in my early kid and teenage years, and that's the product. I feel like an alien but I don't mind, only when others bother me about it.
@@404-o9d Your story was amazing, thank you for sharing it with me. All throughout my time growing up I was much like you, shy, introverted, and left to my own devices. I would constantly prefer to be inside either playing games, or writing little story's to myself. I wasn't really concerned with social interaction as much as my siblings. My family had an awful habit of ignoring me, not out of malicious intent, but out of relief that I wasn't another 'problem child' like my siblings. The only thing this taught me though, was that my problems weren't important enough for anyone but myself. I'm sure you can guess just how harmful that can be for a growing kid. All throughout my formative years I was confused as all hell, as my friends constantly spouted and demonstrated toxic masculinity, and forced me to act the same. I was constantly mocked for liking 'girly' things and being more artistic or sensitive around them. Eventually, as I hit my teens, I found I had less and less friends. To the point where even other people around me knew me as that weird guy. That's stuck with me ever since, until now I am an adult man who has never even had a first kiss as well. I really began to question whether or not I was Trans. It threw me into the worst bout of depression I have ever had, so much so that I nearly flunked high-school despite being a straight A student through all the rest of my grades. I have never shared the extent of how bad this was with anyone because again, I have a compulsion to keep all of my problems away from the people I care about. There's too much in their lives more pressing, and all. Eventually, after having a chance encounter with someone who had experience as a psychologist, I began to rethink things. It was okay to be who I am, and just because society labels things as man, woman, or what have you, that doesn't mean I need to adopt those labels myself in a shoddy form of conforming to society at the cost of my own identity. Hearing your story helps, because it truly makes me feel like I'm not alone. I'm glad you found your path, and I hope others who might be struggling with the same thing can rise above as well.
@@MegaChibirobo Much glad to have been of help, I can assure you, you are not alone in having felt alone, lol. I really did mean the part of feeling like an alien, half bothered me in the past and half not really. Half bothered because I never felt anyone shared this problem of mine, when I tried searching for content related to gender and identity then all I could find is two of those things; 1. There is a stage of psychology known as "not like other girls" where youngster women try to act opposing to their given nature of femininity because it is presented as something inferior and weak to be in today's society, which I agree is a totally genuine phase, however, I didn't find myself relating to any "femininity rejecting and finally embracing through emotional maturation" part because it presupposes all women are required to have this feminine aspect in themselves somewhere to begin with, which, I know it's just a word trying to define some commonplace qualities associated to women. I just don't personally relate to any, as described above, so those videos only made me feel more and more distanced from what should be my fellow peers in gender, no news there though. And the most somewhat relatable to my case, 2. Trans men (women assigned at birth, finding their identity as men) realizing that instead of existing in that headspace of rejection, instead figured out they truly were different (emasculated?) in some genuine way, thus, memeing the phrase of "not like other girls.." to "because I'm a man!" joke, which is funny and I like, however, still not fully relatable to my own set of issues, as you can understand since I don't think I am a transgender folk after all. I just gave up on the topic and thought of it like this, there's no reason to try and scout for people who may personally resonate, I know there may be some out there, or even if there aren't, should we really worry that much about it? each individual has their own unique experiences eitherway, with our own subjective interpretations of reality. We don't have to try to find someone else in order to figure things out with ourselves, and finally, draw in some stability and security with the self. You are to be your own friend, your own parent, and your own mentor all at the same time, above all, you will understand yourself more than anyone else ever could, on some personal level at least. There's little need to look outwards.
@@404-o9d I can certainly relate to that. I have had to work tirelessly to replace my unhealthy coping mechanisms and habits with healthy ones, and every time it's like I'm trying to be a parent to myself. To reteach myself how to fit into my own life. I've never met anyone who has had a similar kind of experience, but to be fair that's mostly because I don't go out of my way to meet people most days. What I'm most happy for now is that I no longer feel the need to lie to anyone, or most importantly, to myself. I want to care about people, and I want to do it openly. It gets a bit hard sometimes since I am in the military, but no matter how people may treat me as a result I always take solace in the fact that I am finally comfortable with who I am. Even if the journey's far from over, that feeling gives me strength to press forward. I want more people to find that for themselves, and I'll be honest, you put it into far better words than I could have. So thanks again!
@@404-o9d I somewhat relate to this too. I am also female, and I would consider myself to be more masculine than women supposedly are meant to be. I do have some feminine interests, but I have masculine ones as well, and I would consider myself to be more of a fundamentally masculine person. I do feel a little weird about it, since I'm not quite sure where I fit in, and I don't have many friends, since although I do my best to be friendly and people tend to like me, I just don't know how to really make friends with people. A part of me feels a bit like it would make more sense if I was a lesbian, because butch lesbians are a thing, but as far as I can tell I am straight, and not really any form of lgbt. I find the "not like other girls" thing reasonable, in a way, but I guess I am not sure whether it matters. I feel like people should be allowed to reject things like femininity if that is not who they want to be. I will admit that because I don't know many people outside of my family very well, I don't really know what most girls/women are really like. The women in my family tend to be somewhat tomboyish anyway, so I fit in there. I guess I just wanted to say that this resonated with me, so I guess you've found at least somebody else like you.
As a trans woman who transitioned far before Vr existed (90s lol) I love seeing content like this and people exploring their own identities. Love it. Oh and I’m so happy I found your channel!! Your content is top notch!
Well clearly as a trans woman still at the "never gets gendered correctly, even when I ask" stage of things, this is a sign to give VR Chat a try again. Moving made me sick last time but this makes me want to push through it.
Lots of people talk about men shunned for showing signs of femininity. We don't talk nearly as much about girls shaming each other for looking "mannish". You didn't mention how, anime girls look YOUNG. They're young women with the faces of infants. They're an impossible standard. Anime girls might be an escape from masculine norms, but they're also simultaneously an unattainable female norm. No one asks, *Why do we see so many men being anime girls, but we don't see just as many women being, for instance, The Hulk?*
you nailed it, it is %100 escapism, however I do have the same questions as you, WHY do people escape like this in the modern day? Is this something I will deal with, have dealt with, or dont want to? What have people done in the past to escape, is the answer escape? Seeing people escape like this very commonly opens my eyes to other people on what people close and far around me can operate on a different level of reality. I believe that this will influence my perspective on others situations
Thats a curious one, I think the inherent biological response to "cute" things plays a role in it, be a cute girl or cute boy, but there's definitely a cultural aspect as to why there's not as many women wanting to embrace and portray masculinity as there are men with femininity. Maybe its just the presence of men on the internet vs women Maybe its the cultural depictions of femininity vs masculinity Maybe deep down, everyone wants to be feminine to varying degrees, and it should just be the default state I don't know, but its interesting
@@luider8795 as of right now, the fact that so many people are looking into escapism like this is mildly concerning, biologically humanity has always flocked to distractions from reality, but we are getting closer and closer to true escape, what are the consequences of that?
@@Ben-li9zb I admit, I ain't got no answers. And I'm not mad at Strasz for not answering these specific questions. I just think this video could have scraped a *little* deeper than it did.
@@AlexReynard I kind of agree, I think the final section about masculinity answers those questions to an extent, but definitely could be deeper. The answer is probably in other video essays though, I might look for one
I think I can speak for a good amount of the trans community when I say that it can be super hard to explore your identity. Even if you are just considering it emotionally it's a struggle, and to add on the social pressure of someone potentially finding out that you might be queer, and the immense social implications that can have. It can be a huge struggle to even think about having to explain to your usually transphobic parents that you think you're not the gender that they perceive you to be, and VR chat is, in many ways, an extension to people exploring their identities in any other pseudo-anonymous platform.
Girl watching this vid: 🤩0:00 OMG a video talking about crossdressing in VR! 🥰5:00 Nice to know this is a common experience :D 😊17:30 Woah, It's cool to know guys feel the same way Woo!! 😌27:12 Waits patiently for the part about girls who use guy avatars. 😳37:00 Ok, that's fine, maybe there will be a mention of cross-dressing women/drag kings/FTM even for a brief moment. 🥺54:40 It's the same way around... it's the same sense of freedom and escape both ways, we are similar! .....something...anything..? Just one mention, one, please. 🥲59:00 ok :') 😖Maybe someone in the comments will explain the pain girls go through too.. 😥oh.. 😅...and this is why I'm commenting! 48:25 "It's bad to be feminine in any way. It's weakness." This is just one of the many reasons why women escape and RP as men. I feel for both Men and Women and Everyone. Society sucks :)
@@KarleonBR That's the subtitle, the clickable and catchy hook that pulls in otherwise uninterested viewers. The formal title, the thesis topic of the video, "Identity, Gender, and VRChat" would reasonably cover more than that.
Great video. The only time I get shy to talk with people is when I'm in male masculine avatars. When I'm in female avatars, I often express more masculine behaviours without anxiety.
"If there were equal demand, there would be an equal number of male and female avatars." Common assumption, but under-explored. Honestly, I haven't seen any evidence for it so far. Since VRChat does not build your character from a menu of options, there's a divide between the average player and one truly able to create their own custom avatar. The former picks through an assortment of public avatars and spends days, weeks, months, or even forever, trying to find just the right one. Choice of gender could be irrelevant. Imagine you have to choose one of these: male body builder, male pirate, female police officer, female dancer, sexy businesswoman, female nurse, uniformed schoolgirl, female pilot, female scientist, or female punk rocker. Now we have a limited set of avatars significantly skewed to one gender, as it is in VRChat. Each attribute makes it impossible to generalize player's choices based on gender alone. I don't say the rest of your essay untrue by any means, in fact I thoroughly enjoyed it. I just find it frustrating that gender in VRChat is so often discussed outside of this context. If you MUST present as male, then your options are especially limited. That context is necessary and relevant.
I'd like to provide some gentle pushback to the idea that male avatars are either lacking or undesirable. Both Vroid and ReadyPlayerMe have plenty of customizable options for men. And male characters dominate the pop culture. Considering the lax approach to copyrighted material, the fact that you, you sitting there, could be Iron Man or Goku or Scott Pilgrim or Miles Morales or Geralt or Waluigi or Phoenix Wright or Freddy Kruger or Sonic The Hedgehog or a thigh high wearing catboy kinda begs the question, if you could essentially be any man you want... Why are so many men playing as women? To me it's less of the idea that VRChat makes men play as women, and more that men who are open to play as women gravitate towards the experience. Hardware shops fill up with woodworkers, VRChat fills up with men who want to embody a feminine avatar. The men who do dress as men tend to be in either three; Very stylish but kinda overdesigned and edgy male avatars, od furries or monsters. I met the most poignant New Vegas Deathclaw in a top floor apartment in VRChat. Had a long conversation about road safety and the perils of driving. What body you're comfortable in says something about you. I'm willing to wager that if you're not finding a male body you're comfortable in, I think you might enjoy inhabiting a female body more than you're letting yourself admit. Doesn't have to say anything about your gender, could just be that in this particular game you like something different.
@@mdstevens0612I was going to say that. But even with the *cyclopean* amount of anime girl and memes/mics avatars there is still a lot and a lot of custom anime men avatars (yes anything else than anime chara are considered misc in vrc :D), apart from games and movies characters, of all styles and shapes, from beefy emo e-boys to cute catboy or just cool oc. On top of that things like vroid make custom anime avatar creation very easy, eventually combined with some basic asset ripping and mashing (with consent) with unity or blender, you just need some basic computer skills and a bit of research and your good to go with something as good than something out of a random character creator. So I think indeed than, on top of just blending in, peoples in vrc just like being anime girls and playing with gender and identity in general (I mean you seen all those Kermit guys that never break character ever? Or a space marine using voice modulator out of role-playing context :D)
I agree with the original comment. I cant find a cool looking male avatar either. I dont want to play as an established character. I want a random guy thats not weird looking or already has a theme. @@mdstevens0612
your production value is insane, this is a crazy good video. such interesting subject matter, i’ve not seen many touch on. you’ve obviously put work into it and it shows! keep it up man 👍
I really did not think I would watch an hour video on this topic, but it was so well thought out and really kind of explains a lot of what happens in VRC. For the last 10 years of my I been struggling with my gender identity and VRC was a really nice environment for me to explore and ultimately feeling like being a trans woman was comfortable to me
As a trans girl myself, please don't worry about being canceled or having said something you shouldn't have. I can tell from watching that you covered this with the utmost care. And, if I may be honest, *I actually assumed that you were genderfluid yourself, especially when you dressed up in Chapter 2!* (You looked great by the way. I'm not sure how much work you put in, but you looked fantastic.) As for my own experiences of all this, VRchat has been pretty kind to me, personally. I'm a professional 3D modeler, so I've gotten to make all my own avatars rather than use one someone else made. Seeing myself in VR has been super cool, and the part about cosplay was very neat as well. I'd never considered doing cosplay, up until the point where I looked in the mirror and saw my model of a character from a game I adored. (Celeste is fantastic and you should play it. Madeline is an adorable bean.) Thank you for this informative video. I know my comment is over a year out of date, but I hope you see this. I really enjoyed it! :)
@@blakkwaltz Best thing to do is to just ask questions. Figure out where they're comfortable. Do some research online as well if you're able. Ask what their pronouns are now. If they're a trans man, I would assume He/Him now, and they're your brother instead of your sister. They may potentially be non-binary as well. Best just to ask where they stand. (Probably. I still let my little brother call me my old name and "brother",x though I'm kind of an odd case.) It'll take a lot of getting used to, but it'll probably do them a world of good for them. Additionally, if you ever catch yourself accidentally misgendering them, brush over it immediately. Don't comment on it. Just say "Sorry" and correct yourself. Making a big deal out of it can be super awkward for the both of you. It's not your fault that you're used to how they were, but it is your responsibility to adjust to how they want to be seen. See if there's any gender-affirming things you can do for them. Clothes in particular are very helpful; they may want a binder, and or *a lot of very thick sweat jackets.* 🤣 Additionally, depending on their age, see if they're interested in HRT or puberty blockers. Puberty Blockers do exactly what they say on the tin; prevent your puberty from occuring until you want it to. This allows young trans people more time to be sure of things. If they aren't sure, they just stop taking the blockers and their puberty happens as normal, just a little later. If they are sure, they can transition without having to overcome the hurdle of getting past their initial puberty. We've been using them since the 60's and they're perfectly safe. I'm less familiar with Trans-masc HRT than Trans-fem HRT, but if I recall correctly Testosterone is a bit more expensive. If you can get it tied into your healthcare (if you have any, considering the economy 🙄) that would help tremendously. HRT and Transitioning isn't just a cosmetic thing for a lot of trans people, it's a matter of basic comfort. Many trans people hurt themselves without it; not having support from your loved ones can be a devastating feeling, and it'll cause them a lot of self doubt. Finally, I don't know how old you or your brother, but if you still live at home with your parent or parents, discuss with your brother if your comfortable with them knowing about it. Being trans is often a very uncomfortable thing, and some people are less than charitable, even hostile. Religious people in particular may become aggressive or otherwise hostile, so it's best to see where your brother stands on being "out". I hope all that helps! It's gonna be rough for your brother. Transition is rough business, in general. There's going to be a lot of self doubt, questioning about sexuality and identity, and frankly the rollercoaster ride doesn't really stop. Good luck to them, and thank you, really, for taking the time to ask!
Yeah I think I might be genderfluid too For me I'm just not sure if it's insecurity based or not though like it depends on who I'm around Like my gender around like dudes is male but around chicks its female and around enbies it depends on what vibe I get but I generally tend to act gender neutral And like idk not always I just always get paranoid of seeming like weak around men but then also like I genuinely enjoy being masculine sometimes too It's like a combination really for me of like irrational maybe like fear and then genderfluidity I always felt bad saying I was trans because I'd basically function as a male irl at work and everything I just have my discord friends and irl friends call me Kanna or Aetri instead I get dysphoric about my appearance but also just don't have it bad enough to where I'd want to do HRT personally It's just like a big mess lol I wish I could have a cute dress but I also get really competitive and wanna be an epic super buff chad at the same time XD But then I get dysphoricc so rip It doesn't matter though we're all valid like gender is hard to figure out and all
@@ruleoftrees4059 Oh absolutely. I'm still the same way myself. At the very least you've admitted that you probably aren't cis, haha. Something that I would note is that this process sort of reveals a lot of the biases a person has. While I was never sexist (not even close lmao) I did have a lot of preimagined ideas and expectations about womanhood that in reality aren't very fair. Like, sure, I'm a woman now, but I still want to have the ability to be strong when I need to be, even if I'm now allowing myself to be more vulnerable. Does this desire for strength make me more masculine? Does it cancel out any desire for feminity I may have? I'd say no, and I'd further more say it's kinda weird that we just assume that women aren't allowed to have those qualities, just as men aren't allowed to be vulnerable or dependent. Gender is social, and part of that are the weird things we've built overtime sticking around even though really they have no reason to be there. We just keep them there because that's how it's always been. For me personally, I identified far more with the gender fluid label at the start because I really didn't get any dysphoria, and I was still functional in society as a man (or, more accurately, boy, I'm 20 lol). However, I also found that as I slowly settled into one Identity, my dysphoria began to go up. I'd look in the mirror and think "that doesn't look like an Izzy". I became more aware of my body; "I have no boobs. I'm overweight. I have too much body and facial hair. Blah blah blah." Slowly I became more and more aware of just how little I didn't fit into the category I decided to settle in and the dysphoria came rushing in little by little, yet saying "well, fuck it. Guess I'm stuck as a dude" sounds **horrifying**! In the end... Yeah, gender do be a fuck. To this day I think I only really identify with the label because some part of me is like "Well what if I *need* to be a dude?" Your experience is likely different from mine. Gender fluid people do exist, else we probably wouldn't have a name for it, no? You may genuinely be gender fluid, in which case, based, pog, proud of you, go off king-queen-monarch-thing... Or you might be like me, who used it as a term to help guide me through my early days. Do whatever is comfortable. ☺️
Great video, loved the outfits and the lighting I really appreciated your recognition of your own privilege and how it affects your outlook and love the encouragement of continual learning about gender and continual examining views and bias 💜💖💜
When i started with VR something like VRChat was a no-go for me as an introvert. 3 month later i finally tried it anyway - and it was great, even when looking like a silly teddybear. Finding a good male avatar was hard, there aren't so much. Then a gender-changing situation came up in my family, and i realized that i can at least try this in VR to give me a better understanding - so i did. And that was quite a shocking experience for me standing in front of a mirron in the wrong sex. I had to change back after a few minutes. But on the other hand i'm not the hormon-driven guy, other people can be whatever they want to be, i'm almost not interested in sexual relationship either... just not the typical male. That experimet was interresting anyway, it gave me a feeling which helped to understand, and i went some steps further. I tried that again some times, went into crowded places as anime-girl and talked to people. That was easier than expected in most of the cases. Ok, there are a few dudes who can't accept it or have some kind of gay-phobia, but even that was not really a problem. Damn i finally ended up dancing on a pole in a crowded club shaking the boobs! I'm still using a male avatar for 80% of the time, but my view on that topic has changed within some weeks. It is mind-opening, and trying that is a valuable experience i can recommend. VRChat is a good place for that.
I find VR Chat fascinating for many reasons including technical, psychological and philosophical, One of these things is just how widely freedom of gender expression is accepted by the majority of players
This game has changed how I view myself. From a Cis het male to a furry that was closer in nonbinary then to A transfem Bi Aro furry talking with my friends that are in poly.
Men playing girls online is a very old practice. When I was growing up, back in the days of forums and IRC channels, there already was a saying: "The Internet; where men are men, women are men, and kids are FBI agents." We can't talk in absolutes anymore now that the normies invaded; but the trend does still persist.
Just want comment out of nowhere, that first scene entering the fluid zone, that lighting makes it look really nice. Like damn, getting down to business kind of vibe. Love it.
I don't use VR chat, but I love experimenting with my gender expression in Animal Crossing New Horizons. Since the game defaults to they/them pronouns, I can dress any way I want without experiencing dysphoria.
Interesting. Unless it was something added by Nintendo of America, I'm kinds surprised they included it. Nintendo is a Japanese company and things like being aware of pronouns like that isn't very common, at least not in the same way it is in the west.
@@kaejuka6249 I think they're only gender neutral in the English translation, but it was still a pleasant surprise to finally be able to play as a character that uses my pronouns.
@@kaejuka6249 one of the reasons that Nintendo of Japan doesn't think about pronouns is that the Japanese language doesn't have gendered pronouns. everything is an "it". they do have words that are used more by one gender, but it's more of a social thing. it's not like romance languages where every word has a gender. also, our western perception of identity is unique to the west. This isn't to say other countries are necessarily bigoted. They just have a different way of seeing things. Like how latinos absolutely despise the term "latinx." the main reason they dislike it is not because of transphobia. it's because their language literally isnt built for that. that term was made by people who were raised in the USA and don't even speak spanish. that kind of cultural ignorance rightfully pisses people off. but in the USA, those kind of inclusive changes are seen as positive. sorry for ranting so much. Im a nerd when it comes to language and culture.
I love that too! ACNH was the first time I’ve allowed myself to experiment with how I look. My character started out really boring and I did not all all feel connected to it because I was afraid and ashamed of being seen by others with any attribute that could be interpreted as not male. But over a long period of time I slowly changed more and more things about my character until I was really happy with it and experienced things I’ve never experienced before. ACNH played a big part in my more recent self-discoveries and I’ve become really attached to my character, as you can probably see.
yeah these people aren't very inclusive of other types of being beyond female / male standards, what if I want to be genderless or not have a humanlike form? what if I want to be another life form completely with no regard to humanistic values?
Thanks for watching!
Once again, if there's interest, I might do a stream about this topic -- sort of a Q&A. There's a lot I still want to talk about, haha.
Also, there are a few glitches in the video -- mostly at the end. As much as I want to fix them, It took *12 tries* to render this video. So, uh, that wasn't fun!
Anyway, once again, Discord: discord.gg/VuwQ2tSFr7
Hi this is good stuff, blogging it. Do you have a link to that survey you made?
@@slhamlet Hi! I don't have it easily accessible, but if you reach out to me on Discord I could share some of the insights with you.
@@Straszfilms Done!
@W R I accidentally edited out the part where I mention it, but it's 207.
*NO No No no no.*
*This is common sense and there is no need for any scientific research or any of such unless for stupid people.*
*Simple point, what is "I"? what is "You?*
*What is you are an "Existent"?*
*this is the only simple point.*
All those research are just making things complicated and spinning the narrative as it goes into the future.
The Exact Communist/ Socialist DemonRATs & chyna CCP.
How is it so weird? cause the person who are asking it never think with their own brain. Because they choose and wanted to be stupid.
That is why when I want to save someone, I don't encourage them to go to physicist.
Color have meanings. but why the color belong to specific gender? cause of Communist Stupid morons and for one stupid people to stop thinking with their own brain.
*And NO. You don't research these kind of things. Unless for Stupid Morons Communist.*
Also, the way the content in the video explained is still not deep enough to the core. but a few layer deeper than the surface shell. congrat. but you need to put it straight and obvious so that it can smack someone on their face when is needed to.
But there are quite too much error. You need to make it straight or someone is going to easily modify the narrative down into the future.
That's some very important responsibility that one will need to takes if they truely care about it.
*Ah, whatever. this world is pretty much useless for me to fight for or to protect.*
*I don't care anymore. but if anyone touch JP, am after them straight. whether is their life or anything else, I'll use all options.*
"man is least himself when he talks in his own person. give a man an anime catgirl avatar, and he'll tell you the truth" - oscar wilde
damn it i want to pin this
do it lol
Truth. I am an open book in vrc.
Big brain energy
This had me dying! The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!
I’m a female and I freaking love being in male models, I feel like I can be more of myself. I love dancing but when I dance in a female avatar the vibe of the people around me and myself feels more sexualized which is something i really feel uncomfortable with. But when I switched to a male it’s completely different attention and vibe that I feel females lack in RL and VR. male avatars make me more outgoing and goofy and reckless
same! i'm glad i'm not alone
@@lostdraft I noticed your Tomoko profile picture. (: Always happy to be going around the Internet and come across a Tomoko pfp. Always a blessing to see.
@@Drousy1870 me too ! i heavily relate to watamote (not the rest of the manga tho unfortunately
@@lostdraft I relate to Tomoko as well within the anime. I haven’t read the manga but I own it (it’s in Japanese though, I got it because I want to learn the language and that’s like a motivation. If I really wanted to read it now, I can read it online).
I also wear male models, most are just femboys
My favorite quote from this video
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
VRChat reminds me of anime conventions, where it’s not weird at all to find guys dressing as female characters and gals dressing as dudes. I love that, the ability to express yourself without (as much) judgement.
Like a VR crossplay cosplay event.
Cons are fun as hell
I would love to do that, the idea of dressing up as a Cute girl was always a fun one for me and especially bc I didn't like how people saw me.
Anime cons are a "nerd's" self expression heaven on earth, mess em.
Many cases that is not self expression, it's "doing it for the lols".
Tl;Dr: I got to be cute for the first time today.
I've only just started VRChat a few days ago. I'm a big, square, almost ZZ Top bearded dude. But, my personality, I guess, could be described as pretty feminine. While I can do "cute" things, like baking fancy desserts, I don't ever feel like I'll be seen as that sort of cute in meatspace. And I've been aware of that aspect for a long time.
The closest I've managed to get in meatspace is having a cute partner. Where we are seen as a cute couple. But I'm again aware that in those situations I'm only cute by proxy of her cuteness.
So back to VRChat, I've been trying to work up the courage to leave my home world in a female avatar. My voice being the main problem. However, after stumbling into a group raid today. I got to be a cute anime girl in front of others. I even got headpats. It definitely felt nice at the time. But, as I digest my feelings to write this, I've started crying. I've finally gotten to be something I never thought I could. And I was treated like I had always been. It makes me so happy and fulfilled in a new way. That I was fuckin' cute today.
Hugs pal! You don't have to be small to be cute either. I know plenty of cute people of every size.
you're very cute indeed!
Now I'm tearing up damnit, I can relate way too heavily to this. I'm very happy you got to have that experience.
who tf says "meatspace" lmfao
@@brightestlight9462 I know it sounds funny. I got the term from a research paper about VR and Transcendentalism. The term was coined by sci-fi literature and adopted by academic researchers. They use it because the emotions and experiences had in VR are just as real as those out of VR. They use the term to better reflect how reality, or real life, now includes what we do in the virtual world.
Plus, it sounds like we're living in a cyberpunk future
*changes into cat girl*
"As the kids say... uwu"
I truly died
Emmy award winning clip
My take- I think our society tends to ignore the male appearance. We act kind of as if men _can’t_ look good. Men’s fashion is homogenous and fits few body types. Men having appealing or interesting appearances is just not something that we really consider, so when someone wants to look interesting or expressive they gravitate towards the gender that’s been assigned the traits of physical attractiveness, expression and beauty.
Very interesting
Ooh, I like that take. As a female I have wished that women could focus less on attractiveness and put less time and effort into appearance, or getting objectified, and instead focus on being comfy or casual so I can feel better and also not have anyone attracted to me in that way. But it's interesting to hear the perspective of men in this- that they can't express themselves as well, and can't be as beautiful or attractive as they want. Out of the males and females, females usually get the showier or more memorable outfits so I can see why men would also be drawn to that rather than a lackluster "basic" male wearing the same outfits, same colors, same hair etc.
Can confirm i hate myself because I'm not pretty.
I totally get your point. This also hurts women because they always have to be attractive to be valued. They can’t be ‘plain’ for a day without people saying they are unkept. I wish people would just let people do whatever.
Happens in character creators as well, back in City of Heroes when they added Mission Architect I designed an entire custom enemy group from the ground up for other players to fight against in a storyline I wrote up for them. When asked why the entire group was female the answer was two-fold: 1) memory limitations meant I could not fit in a male and female version of every foe and still have the number of different foes that I wanted and 2) female characters have so much more variety in the character creator that I couldn't design males that were interesting looking enough to bother including and I wasn't going to cut out any of the girls for some comparatively boring looking dudes.
The way that I see it is that "gender" as a concept has no purpose in VR Chat so people just pick whatever has the best vibe or aesthetic or a character they just want to represent. Picking what you want and what you feel is the natural selection because of how "raw" VRChat is
Tbh it's like that in mmo's too, I always pick a female avatar and try to make her cool looking, like a female paladin, not cause I'd like to be one but because I just think that's a neat concept
I had way more female characters in City of Heroes/City of Villains than male. A large reason was because I found it more fun to design them in the character creator and yeah I liked having pretty things to look at while playing as it was third-person view as the joke goes if my camera view is going to be often focused someone else's backside it might as well be one I'd like to be looking at. Also with no voice-chat back in those days nobody had to know anyway not that I even hid it, behind the character name was an obviously masculine player name and anyone who asked got a straight answer. There was no "fluid" BS about it like people are overthinking these days, I never "identified" as the characters I was their director. It was a game based on comic books after all and controlling the character was simply me writing their story in real time, are men no longer allowed to write for female characters and vice-versa? That is an attitude for the wokels that keep infecting everything.
@@zerrodefex bruh why are you so pressed about gender? you talk a lil abt how you like making female characters and then devolve into calling vague stuff "woke BS".
youre also asking "are men no longer allowed to write for female characters and vice-versa?" the og comment and the only reply said nothing about that, bro. youre reading too much into this stuff
I mean, gender has no purpose irl either. Most people don't seem to get that though.
@@solsystem1342 he does say that in the video a bit when he's talking about how gender as a concept really is just human-made.
i saw a lot of comments here about trans people sharing their experiences, but, tbh i feel like this is special even for straight males like me, i always used female avatars in games too, not only because of being straight and liking to look at a woman's body, but mainly because i don't really connect appearance to gender or things like that, i can wear a dress and make up and still feel 100% secure of my sexuality, that's actually the main thing i wanted to change in society, i want to be able to look "like a woman" without people thinking that i'm trans, i want straight men to be able to portray themselves in a feminine way but still feel secure about their own sexuality
This hits the nail on the head so hard
you want MAINSTREAM FEMBOYS.
I realize that what I'm about to write might not be correct in the eyes and experience of some people.
I think the Trans people, as they show themselves, just hide behind masks. Run way from the "true" reality they are born in. On a deep level all of us wish to be not what we were born as, but what we would wish to be. However, most of us stand their ground and accept the true reality.
That's what makes virtual reality, the "other" reality, so alluring for *everyone* It's a place of near limitless personal freedom and expression.
@@TurKlack I'd argue that the situation is flipped. Most people wear a mask of what society deems most acceptable, hide who they are to some degree. Gay people aren't born straight and then run from being straight, they're born gay and can choose to hide who they are or accept the "true reality" of who they are.
@@francegamer I'm not pointing at Gay people. Love is love. It is indifferent. And if a man loves another man, or the other way around, I'm fine with it.
I once saw a TED talk about a woman that had lost both her legs from the knees down, but instead of being a woman that was cripple she sought out ways to have prosthetics to function normally again.
During the TED talk she was at a point that she had several prosthetics to choose from, and they were in different sizes and ranged from very functional to absolutely pointless. Wich brought up the issue that some people found it "unfair" she could "choose" her height for what she felt like on any given day.
I believe it's the same in VRChat but to a even more extreme degree, I login to VRChat and I can choose how people perceive me. I can be cute, I can be burly, I can be nothing, I can be grotesk, I can be big, I can be small... and the reason for doing so is mine and mine alone. People that have an issue with this might consider it "unfair" that I can choose exactly how I want to be perceived as but to me it's just the reality of a VR environment.
Finally I can be feddy fadbear.
That was Aimee Mullins. You can see her in various films and shows.
oftentimes the question is between flight or invisibility as a superpower, but I was always fascinated by shapeshifting - VR's the closest I have to experiencing that dream power
It’s unfair that I can legally take speed and make my coworkers look bad but that’s life
No, it's more a question of what it reveals about you as a person. If you choose an anime girl avatar, either you're a thirst baiter, you're horny yourself, or you have mental problems that you need to sort out in order to be comfortable with who you are. In the latter case, not doing so shows that you are in a fragile mental state and that you're trying to rationalize this by making others think that you are what you present yourself as so that you can seek validation and approval, so that you don't actually have to do any effort on your part in trying to fix the underlying issues at hand that caused your fragile mental state. It's an easy way out, essentially, and I, for one, think it's something that you should avoid like the plague, because it becomes a habit real quick.
As for the handicapped lady... well, she's handicapped, she doesn't _have_ working legs, so experimenting with different options when you get the ability to use prosthetic legs is fine, because it's actively fixing a problem that she has, and even then, not entirely, as she lacks some advantages that real legs would provide, so I think it's a fair trade off.
"As the kids say: UwU"
thats my favorite line
thats my least favorite line
@@bananentros ywy
it's a quote from that hot trans phd philosopher girl
@@monoham1 Which one? I can think of at least two, lol
@@bananentros UwU
Okay sure, gender fluid, anime girls, yupp got it. BUT! Can we just acknowledge the Furry community makes the coolest shit in VR. The fact that the "Ready Player 1" movie only had ONE furry is arguably the most unrealistic part of that movie.
honest to god if every furry on this planet disappeared the entire telecommunications industry would fail by the end of the day
@@Peztllence "The hardest choices require the strongest wills." *deletes all furries.*
@@Gremlor all of vrchat: “Mr.Stark I don’t feel so good”
Agreed.
Furries was greatly lacking in Ready Player 1. I have been to a lot of such worlds myself, even an old one known as Second Life wile in 2D, predating Ready Player 1 by several years, shows furries are very much on the seen, along with some more modern ones as Chillout VR and NEOS VR, also shows they should have been included in that movie far more.
There is no furries in the rather sucky Horizon Worlds, for as far as I know, there is no option to make any for it. Sure Horizon Worlds, maybe Ok for some people, bu I'd never visit it, for I want to see F-N furries. And others fill that niche nicely.
furries literally hold up the internet and telecoms too like 😭😭
Late to the party but here's my 2 cents. As a straight male I have encountered many openly LGBTQIA+ people there and had quite interesting conversations. It changed my views a lot as I grew up in a very anti-LGBT environment. Learned a lot, people on VRC are mostly very wholesome. As for everyone using anime girl avatars, well there is an acute lack of good male avatars. Also men generally prefer staring at cute girl curves and most VRC players are male so it's no surprise and nothing new.
Ye, as a straight man I choose to have a Pikachu avatar or like a skeleton or something cool lol
Trans femme people can be true themselves if they can't start HRT. And i actually don't see anything bad if cis male choose female avatar.
Exactly! There aren’t really that many good/cool-looking male avatars. A lot of them are super mid unless you pay someone to make one for you.
@@pryma1604 I will say I’ve stumbled on a bunch of good quality male avatars just randomly sifting through worlds, but they are always of the same type of thin tall anime guy who’s either pretty boy high school uniform or bad boy in jacket, and you never really see anything as extravagant, detailed, unique, and stylized as the female models.
i wouldn't agree on the wholesome part since ive been called slurs in public lobbies by people in anime avatars lol
When I finally figured out how to explain why I like being an anime girl, I came up with "If I get to choose what I look like, I'm gonna choose to look HOT."
And so I burst out laughing at "I just wanna be cute"
Based
Almost brought me to tears when that comment came up. Like I laughed but it was painfully relatable.
Waitingonthatfuckingestrogenprescription
Relatable in so many levels.
@@thesaltybeard1793 im on it and its so amazing, i wish you the absolute best luck ♥
I feel you on a spiritual level my dude, emphasis on "Cute" I just want yo be called adorable Instead this giant monster.
To me VR Chat feels like playing with dolls where I can embody the dolls that I am playing with. It’s a unique feeling
For real. I was into dolls quite heavily, and VRChat pretty much took over from it.
The amount of shit random people used to give me about having dolls, too.
I started crossdressing in my old band a few years ago and nailed every aspect of it, including a convincing female voice... but I could only be confident enough to do the voice alone in my car. The second I spoke to others, I'd choke. VRChat gave me a way to practice confidence in the voice, since I didn't have a problem using it with strangers online, for some reason.
somehow i have convinced people im a girl on vrchat without them questioning it at all just by my voice, and i felt really great but still a 50/50 on whether i was 'deceiving' them, of course there's a term for everything and that would be catfishing and id feel terrible about that. when i try to speak to myself in the same voice, i cant tell if its what they hear so i wanna practice recording myself
@@darwinwatterson4568 If you just like the feeling and have no ill intent, then I wouldn't call that deceiving. You can always tell them you're a guy later, if they ask (and if you're comfortable with telling them). The people online that know I'm a guy admit that they basically still see me as a girl and are fine with using she/her pronouns (even though I ultimately don't care either way). Sure, SOME people will likely be dicks about it, but fewer than you'd think, and they're not worth worrying about anyway.
@@darwinwatterson4568 I mean if you like being referred to as a girl you're not deceiving anyone. You're only obligated to tell anyone how they should refer to you when you're uncomfortable (and safe to do so when irl).
@@darwinwatterson4568 your not deceiving anyone in this context unless you're making untrue promises. If you like it then go with it
The chapter about toxic masculinity really hits home, it's something that's been on my mind for a while now. This is an eloquent interpretation of what I think a lot of men feel, whether within ourselves, or within someone we know or care about. VRC really shined a light on just how much of the identity I've built over my lifetime really wasn't so much about me, but more about the meat vehicle I'm trapped in and the society I live in. I've had more meaningful connections and conversations with males in VRC than the rest of my life combined, by a long shot. Great video, well written, well made!
Im sorry that you feel like youre trapped. That must suck to wake up every day feeling like youre trapped in a body.
@@DrummerJacob Same, I wish there were a simple way of preventing or relieving that pain without having to drastically change someone's natural body. God bless anyone going through that struggle
lmao yeh mental issues suck
Lol. Nani?
Has nothing to do with masculinity and everything to do with humans competing for limited resources in the real world. In the virtual world this does not matter and people can let loose.
All that toxic talk is just the brainwashing designed to discourage people from procreating by turning them against each other. The real enemy is the MSM and Gov who are the ones preaching it. 1984 approaches a little more each day :/ Now that's our toxic future. 'Toxic' men are trying to prevent this but they have no support because they are labeled as toxic. Mission complete. Peasants lose, elites win. Which are you?
Remember your Gov most likely wants to ban anime gurls and force feed you flat-chest Rey Skywalker the male? or female? character. Now that's toxic. Sell that property to Japan already.
Also the fact you're talking about two men talking to each other as catgirls in VR? Really says a lot about modern women and what they offer. Lots of requests for Isekai truck.
Not to be over looked is how under served the good male avatar is to the public. I spent most of my time as a banana, hotdog and skeleton because i really had to dig through hundreds of anime cat girls before i found a normal looking male avatar.
As someone who’s autistic, I’ve dealt with extreme judgement from being “weird” pretty much every day I go outside, whether it’s silent judgement or full on hatred
It’s so difficult to be away from the norm or to just want to be yourself and I’ve found a reprise in the few people I’ve met online, I’ve never had a VR Headset or have been in anything related to VR but even just in the general internet community, I’ve managed to find someone that just accepts me as the “weird” person I am, something that I never have and probably never will find in the real world
i agree
You might be over-thinking people. Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to "hate" you. It may partly be in your head.
@@manictiger honestly, I believe you, I will admit that I sometimes get too mentally messed up when with my own thoughts, it’s undeniable that I was hated at school for who I was, since it was done right to me, but in college, which is where I am right now, it’s likely that my trauma and being so used to being harassed has coloured my judgement on… well, anyone really
It’s hard to say because I’ll never know the thoughts of others
@@Yuti640
Watch the paintball episode of South Park. Sums up the intelligence of teenagers. Wouldn't put too much thought into what they think. Even my I.Q. dropped during those years, and I'm not exactly slow. Yes, they tested I.Q. throughout my life as part of mental healthcare re-diagnosis (they kept having to do that, because psychiatrists are quacks and don't actually know how to diagnose).
hello fellow autist good to see another of us here
Dang, that toxic masculinity section really hit home for me. I am a straight cis male and have never in my life questioned that. It is an identity I am comfortable with. That said I am also an emotional person. I cry a lot, uncontrolably, especially when talking about anything that bothers me. No matter how hard I try, I cannot prevent it. As a boy growing up, naturally this was extremely embarassing, and often lead to me bottling things up and just avoiding talking about anything so I wouldn't be forced to cry. I am also a deeply empathetic person, so I would often find myself crying even at the negative experiences of others, and I tended to attract and collect the bullied kids around me because I was nice to them, with of course spread their stigma to me as well.
Hell, even as a grown man I had a a 1 on 1 with my supervisor with some negative feedback in which I teared up. It was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. Thankfully in this example she was super nice and understanding about it.
I also deeply relate to the idea of not being allowed to be a burden and not telling others about my problems. Even internalizing in my darkest times the idea that as an man my job was to, no matter what, fix the problem, and when I saw myself as a problem with no way to fix me, there was one "solution to the problem" that naturally came to mind.
It is healthy to remember and talk about the fact that what is usually defined as toxic masculinity, the negative societal norms and expectations for men, hurt men, a lot, not just women. I'm not going to try and equivocate or claim one has it rougher than the other as I only know my own experiences. But the fact that is objective is that it does hurt everyone and benefits no one.
There is nothing wrong with being emotional as a man. Strong emotions can be a gift as displaying them can sometimes help to comfort those around you who feel the same way. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I sympathize and felt the same way. We aren’t as vulnerable because we are taught to hide it, but it ultimately makes us more like walls. Unfeeling and careless. I have only ever cried in secret and whenever I do is when I cry the loudest when nobody is around and only ever when nobody is around. I am sorry we have experienced these, but at least we know we experienced it together and we can understand
Lmao
@@Viri_Elixir xd
@@Viri_Elixir LOL
I'm glad my family taught me one thing in terms of how a true man should be. A good man, or father, will laugh, and cry, and tell you he loves you. He won't tell you to bottle everything up, but listen to everything you say, and hug you when it's over; even help you fix it if it's something that needs it. And a good man is one who knows when to ask for that help, too. I've had a lot of good men in my family, and I'm thankful for that.
But...
Who asked?
@@nobody.7784 Hit a nerve, did it?
@@nobody.7784 I asked
@@nobody.7784i asked
@@nobody.7784 I asked.
I've been roleplaying since the late 90s, and most of which as female characters, I've mostly focused on being a catgirl for most of those many years now, early 2000s. I'd been this way so long that it felt totally normal to do so in VRChat, except my voice always throws myself off, when I'm mute in VRC I feel more normal oddly enough but at the same time I'm more comfortable being able to talk in general in VR than I generally am IRL, or on the phone or anything. Its kind of strange really, but I do feel at home almost in my catgirl avatars though. That said I'm not trans or anything like that, but the one guy that mentioned "Maybe I want to be cute too" hit home for me most of all I think. I mostly just want to be cute too~
Hi, I'm not trying to change your ways or anything but I'm curious, don't you find catboys cute?
@@hukihuki4135 I'm also curious about that, it barely answers the question in my point of view. Boys and men can definitely look cute as heck, so why girl avatars?
me too
@@404-o9d Simple math on that one: Most men find girls cute. Men don't often find men to be as cute. So, to be cute, men will find cute girl as representation.
It's probably less bi than you think.
@@E4439Qv5 interesting
I wanna be a cute anime boy. towards the beginning of this video there was a shot of what I assumed to be a boy avatar looking at themselves in the full body mirror and my heart literally skipped a beat...I wanna try vrchat entirely for this reason...
Yep. It's an adventure.
I got one eboy avi and it felt very chill as my midnight l/2AM horse voice fits it well in my mind.
Ok now that´s an avatar i wanna see myself
Honestly same, I've been using a masculine avatar plus a voice changer and being refered as a guy in VRC so casually makes me feel incredibly happy
Did you manage to do it?
Came for vrchat curiosity, leaving with knowledge about gender.
I struggled with my gender identity for a very long time. Having been assigned male at birth and growing up deep below the bible belt, the idea of being anything other than a stereotypical male was terrifying. I remember in high school seeing the one openly homosexual person getting called every slur imaginable, having their car vandalized and receiving multiple death threats. It wasn't until I stepped into VRchat for the first time that I realized I was comfortable looking feminine. It's essentially the only place where I can socialize with others and be 100% myself without fear of violence. And while VRchat has it's fair share of trolls and bigots, it has just as many welcoming people. Thanks for making this video, it is absolutely amazing.
I grew up in a simmilar environment. As a male i've always had more traits percieved as feminine such as being skinnier and shorter, not being intersted in sports whatsoever, and in general a lot of things that (at the time I was growing up and the environment I was in) were way more effeminate. I never really got along with or understood a lot of boys around me because they just thought so differently. When I finally came into my own on the internet and was able to kind of shape my personality more as I finally met some friends I realized I could be a male and still be more effeminite. Although it wasnt to the point of full gender idenity struggle since i've always known I was a male and it's what I wanted to be, I struggled to see myself when everything else I knew about being male contradicted most of who I was and am. The idea of being trans or homosexual or anything of the like was entierly unknown to me even after I figured that out, so when I met several friends who are a part of lgbtq it made me realize more that I don't HAVE to be a steryotipical male who's able to lift whatever he wants or not be emotional or anything like it, I can shape myself how I want. I haven't gotten to try vrchat yet due to time and lack of a vr headset, but it still brings me comfort to know i'm not the only one who ever went through anything simmilar, and that theres a place where people can just be who they want without anyone batting much of an eye at it.
Your post warms the heart, on the finding a place to totally be you. I've watched VRChat vids and streams about three years and was finally able to get into it a few weeks back on desk top.. And it's been a little over a week now in VR and I love it for being able to be so social. And the amount of "open" people on it is really awesome. But back to the point, thanks for sharing Threevee, always nice to know we're not alone in these things. :)
violence? where do you live, Pakistan???
lol
@@logbuzz so turns out people like being anime girls "because omg LGBT!!" i know this sounds crazy, but maybe people like being anime girls because, oh i dont know..... because THEIR ANIME GIRLS, AND PEOPLE WOULD RATHER LOOK AT BO0BAS AND STUFF RATHER THEN B A L L S. idk man just a thought
35:00
I'm transgender MtF and this is essentially what we do as well. Because looking like "a dude in a dress" is so frowned upon we have this concept called boymode in which we keep on hanging onto our male identity as we're taking body altering medication. It usually goes on for quite a while and I'm at a point now where many people perceive me as a girl until I speak. Even though I'm wearing mens clothing. The entire point of my transition is to obviously be perceived as a woman but clinging onto that male identity like this allows me to tell people that I'm not trying to be a girl and that they're the weird ones for thinking that. I think it's the same social mechanic used to say presenting as an anime girl in vrchat is just a joke or something. It's like by doing it we are able to direct back the negativity at whoever is using social norms to attack us.
Thanks for your take on this
Yep, as another trans woman I can add to this. I am often perceived as a woman until I speak and will often give people a gender neutral version of my name like Kay or something along those lines to create a shield of plausible deniability. I think it’s in large part thanks to internalized transphobia as well as trying to protect myself from people and situations where I don’t know if I’ll be safe or not.
Thank you!
@@ThiccInk
I think there is some sort of voice training you can do, but I don't know how easy/effective it is, or whether it's even possible for all people. I would assume it is though.
woah holy shit thank you for sharing this. i may be trans, dont know yet, but i know for a fact that i am very passionate about some things like working out that are considered super masculine, so i stopped for a while as im waiting to get therapy still. ive had this feeling that i will be a surprisingly masculine either nb or girl for the most part, even if i do some feminine things occasionally
I’ve wished I was a woman on and off since I was like 11.
Being able to see myself in the mirror as an anime girl was amazing.
I don’t exactly id any given way but vr is really fascinating.
egg
@@MayW15663 egg
@@MayoTF2 I’m not an egg anymore :)
@@MayW15663 omlette
i know this is an old comment, but damn you're so lost
Ever since finding out about VRchat, I have been chomping at the bit for talks/essays/study into this very subject. I think the psychological implications of virtual reality are just beginning to be explored. Awesome job. You've definitely earned a sub from me.
I agree, this stuff is fascinating to me.
Im' a girl, and i'm fine with that, the reason why I prefer neutral or male avaters is that I feel more normal and not sexualised, people act so weirdly when you"re a girl, like wtf I just want ot have friends and fun, i'm not a sexy ufo.
exactly, i feel like if i make my gender obvious on the internet then i will just get unwanted attention or harassment, which happens to a lot of girls. and i also just think a lot of gender neutral avatars look cool
@@firstnamelastname6327 true X)
Lol your pseudo is cool
Does it make you feel any better that men pretending to be women get that same sexualized treatment, and like it? Women complain constantly about getting attention, but I dont think many of them ever consider what it's like to be ignored by all women as a man when you desperately desire attention to the point you'll take negative attention happily just to not be invisible
@@xraceboyex Dude, I remember last time I tried to rp, we had to go to vocal, when they found out I was a girl, they got into a weird silence and left the discord chat, I'm speaking of that kind of treatment, I don't have a problem with using a feminine avatar, but I've noticed that it's sometimes safer in some communities to not say your sex or gender not only because this communities can give you "negative attention" but also because they just don't give attention at all or put you aside (for example the RP)
And playing as an avatar in the attempt to have attention is ok if you're asking for it, but often people don't want this treatment and want to socialize and speak and not fear a weird treatment because of cliches, they want to be seen as people and not a category.
And it's funny because I'm saying that, but now I don't really care, I think I just got some bad experiences in some communities, but overall I don't have much problem now, it really depends on the communities and most people are not like that.
and what do you mean ignored by womens ? they don't own you anything ,why complaining about girl's attention, you can get ignored by guys too, nobody has to give attention to anybody, and being ignored is not something that happenned to a gender and unwanted attention is not something you like, you said it yourself, you're ok with it, if you're playing as a avatar with the specific idea that you look for attention, then it's not unwanted attention ? maybe you got some bad experiences with girls but unwanted attention is not that, being invisible is not because of your gender, I'm seen as a invisible person, it's because of who I am (for me it's a lack of confidence and bullying from a shitty school lol) and my gender doesn't change that,
I think you're overall looking of attention, and that I can get it,but girls don't get all of the attention you are searching for, and thrust me, unwanted attention can sometimes be really fucked up, we are speaking of vrchat, but it can come from families,friends, strangers and stuff like that, you have a hard time thrusting your family after they start to say '' oh maybe it's was a accident" loool, what I mean is don't underestimate what "unwanted attention" can be.
omg I hate genders, it's full of cliches on every sides, but it's an interesting subject, and we are not experts lol
English is not my native language, so I make a lot of mistakes
@@xraceboyex Ratiooooooed
Lots of women's names used to be men's names.
Like Valery, Margaret, Marjory, Hillary to name a few.
Women wore long dresses or skirts that went down to the ankles. men wore mini skirts.
High heel shoes were invented for men to make them look taller. Women were not allowed to wear them.
So gender changing has been going on for hundreds of years.
When i 1st went into VR chat i was hearing mens voices but all i could see was female avatars and it took me ages to work out where the mens voices were coming from.
The only time I was able to go into VR chat, I heard a guy say "why do I feel so strange?? Whats wrong with me? Why do I feel weird?"
And then he fiddle with his settings and his avatar started moving more smoothly and he said "ahhhhhn! I feel better now"
the locomotion settings lol
"Fuck man, I wanna be cute too" We all do, honey, we all do.
I do believe that cuteness is an immutable law of nature, it increases survivability and is likely part of what led to the evolution of empathy in creatures that can express it. I'd say desiring cuteness is a base instinct.
@@Saltius999 no life no game chess speech?
@@mallardofmodernia8092 you know, now that you mention it that is almost definitely what I was paraphrasing
I've always liked playing girl characters in games. They're usually cute or pretty or cool or just designed in a more fun way.
As a woman, I prefer male characters. When I play a female I feel sexualized. Im guessing I select male characters because im protected and dont have to worry about being a woman just existing.
As someone who's genderfluid, the ability to completely change how people percieve me at the click of a button is a dream come true
I can literally change how i look as my gender does it's fluidy thing, it's amazing
VR is poison. It's an illusion of a public commons.
@@krunkle5136 lmao yeah it is but it's fun so quit being a bore and let people enjoy their lives
@@krunkle5136 what's wrong with being a manly man and playing as a cute anime girl with a low voice? It's funny af lol
@@Poodleinacan not as funny as being a manly man cosplaying as an anime girl in a public square where you can't just disappear.
@@krunkle5136 lmao have you been to an anime convention
As as someone who was born male. During my childhood I was never interested in all the stuff a cis male goes through in life. I was the type of person who liked the look of feminine things such as clothing/shoes. But I was too afraid to put feminine clothes on in fear of being bullied. so I've kept it a secret most of my life. Finding VRchat was such a big deal for me because I can finally express my true self in the virtual world as a AroAce female. But the real world me is still a problem. I would love to come out and tell everone my real self but im still afraid of being disowned by my family and friends. But for now I can enjoy my real self in VRchat
Dont come out until you are ready, but remember that not coming out, but being out to our own self, well, it can be mentally exhuasting.. It's like tearing off a band-aid. We can wait until we believe the wound is safest to have the bandaid taken off, but thats not going to stop it from hurting like hell. I should have done it when I was a teen//
I came out and transitioned in like, 2017...
I was really scared for a really long time, and it caused be to try and escape that fear through a drug addiction that I almost didn't make it out of, and a lot of my friends weren't as lucky as I.
I'm just saying that it's not an easy thing to postpone all alone. Make sure you have someone, anyone that you can talk to about it. Hell, even seeing a gender therapist online without actually transitioning can really help keep your head in a good place and even help you make progress while in the closet, rather than it being a complete and total prison.
The term "cis male" is made up & VR isn't real.
As an NB person myself, VR chat really is magical. I live in an area where the concept of non-binary is so utterly alien that it's out of the question to try and explain it. The language itself is strictly gendered. And in VRchat, I can really pick avatars that reflect the way I want to project. There aren't many of them, most are either exagerated anime girls or big manly ones (or an array of monstrous ones), but the few I was able to find, I've really connected on a deep level. Thanks for this essay, really puts it wonderfully into words!
i feel you, its deeply alienating living in a country where 99% precent of people cant understand one of the biggest parts of your identity
Italian?
@@aletec96 i wish
Damn, this is way higher quality than I expected, you 100% deserve more subscribers, now to watch the rest of it
Having watched it, no youtuber has ever deserved subscribers, notification gang members and likes more than this lad.
And as a trans girl myself I feel I have to say this, don't worry you said nothing wrong, in fact, you hit more than spot on.
@@alcairr4934 No other UA-camrs you say? You might want to rethink that statement.
"Fuck man, I wanna be cute too"
That's me all the time, as a trans person who can't express herself.
I was going to comment the exact same words you wrote. I wanna be cute too. This should be a hashtag.
As a trans-female built like a linebacker and who was almost completely bald by 18, I can relate with that.
you mean himself.
@FrejthKing I think you need tik gk lie down…inside a woodchipper.
Most people I've seen are dudes with insanely low voices and anime fox/wolf boy avatars. Though there was this one time where I joined a russian milk carton in his quest to convert the server to communism but we don't talk about that.
Personally I find that the only avatars of any quality are anime girl ones. Gender doesn't mean too much to me in total, especially not nearly as much to me as asthetic does. If I had the time and ability I may make something different. I do plan on commisioning an avatar at some point but it will probably be a creepy looking monter girl, but thats because I enjoy that asthetic.
ANOTHER CREEPY LOOKING MONSTER GIRL ENJOYER
Or furries lmao
This essay was fascinating to me. First off, Im not very good with any of this vocabulary, so if I'm using the wrong words excuse me. I grew up in the middle of the bible belt, now living in the middle of the rust belt. My friends and family are almost entirely straight, with the one family member that wasn't having been killed by fentanyl. My one friend who was openly gay in highschool still identifies as male though he dresses almost entirely in drag, and I guess he's gifted with damn good genetics for it because I've never seen anyone more "passable", and he was the one that helped me discover that I'm not attracted to females specifically, just what is considered to be feminine, for example, strasz here is equally attractive to me as a bald guy as they are with the purple wig. That opened up the rabbit hole of sexuality and identity to me. Now, a married man with a child, my wife has gone on a similar journey of discovery. I think of myself as a faceless, genderless individual soul that happens to inhabit a male meatsuit. I wouldn't change that personally, but I can see the attraction for those that would. VR chat has allowed me to be so many things, from a house cat to a xenomorph, but I've never actually considered putting on an anime girl. I still think an empty suit of masculine armor is probably the most accurate portrayal of myself, and that's where my online avatar comes from.
interesting take
That last sentence about the empty suit of armor reminded me of Alphonse from Fullmetal Alchemist, I only saw the first few eps so I don't know how much people's perceptions of him as a giant armor suit changed his previous identity as a 14-year-old boy... I'll just leave that thought here for someone more knowledgeable in FMA to expand upon 😏
YOOOO AGENDER GANG
I feel like the prevalence of "anime girl" avatars is overstated and on the decline as more selection becomes available.
Going into random public worlds or private clubs will both present a wide variety of avatar types, male or female, anime, meme, furry, or otherwise.
And that's the beauty of VR Chat
Honestly the most manly thing any man can do is be themselves and that I can respect.
Nope that's a good thing for women to do too. In other words a man being masculine and a woman being feminine is feminine.
@@christiantaylor1495 let me transcend the stereotypical gender identification The best thing a human can do is be themselves.
(this is just a joke) Wait a minute, so as a trans girl, it's more masculine to be a girl 🤔
@@shadowshinobin8641 Ehh, I'm gonna be contrarian just for the sake of it and say that the best thing a human can do is help others. There are some really shitty people in the world and we'd be a lot better off if they weren't so much themselves and were more kind and beneficial and good.
@@ShaunCheah people do have potential for change my friend..trust me.
im non-binary and realized i was that when people called me they while i was in an alphonse elric avatar and i felt good hearing that and this was after years of feeling confused and ig not realizing non-binary was a option? i didnt feel like a girl or a boy and didnt have the vocabulary to express and explain it. that was when i was 17 and im now 21, im out and have an accepting and loving family so im quite fortunate and so grateful for my situation. VRchat has helped me alot with that, its help me meet some amazing people who are much better then any friend ive ever had before, i understand myself on a much deeper level and i can be myself without fear of being judged or bullied for just being me. of course ive experienced hate there but thats to be expected and a reminded that VR isnt a complete escape. i want to help my sister who is trans to play VRC and help her experience more gender euphoria
First of all, I would like to thank you for exploring this topic and sharing it with the world.
I purchased a Oculus Rift before the pandemic began. I have been identifying as a trans female since middle school, yet my father and family have always been against those things, so I lived always hiding it from everyone after a certain incident with my father. I had finished High school when I started playing last year and was harassed like the trans woman in your example, being called a trap and to not talk to me. I learned to deal with it and just to not interact with anyone due to how painful those remarks were. I found an avatar with a pink dress that also had a trans flag on her that helped me continue playing the game due to how content I felt with myself just by looking at the mirror. It was only after a few months after a woman approached me and asked me how I was and if I wanted someone to talk to. We talked and she explained to me that she had a support group and friends that were all trans woman. After that day, my entire life changed. I had friends to be myself with, friends who would listen to me and support me everyday, friends that taught me about the process and how amazing it feels to go through treatment, they gave me hope like I had never felt before. I am now in my last semester of community college and am planning to move out as soon as I graduate so I can finally start the process of becoming the real me. And I am not afraid, if my family does not support me, I have them to push me up. Thank you for making this video, I will now subscribe to you, you seem like a genuine and honest person.
this is a fantastic perspective about how much having love and support can help people glad you shared :)
This encourages me to keep making sure I'm doing outreach for the queer groups I'm involved in. It's so important to keep an eye out for people who have been figuring it out on their own, I'm very glad she talked to you :)
so, trans woman here, i remember a while back i was questioning my gender a while back, and i was working on getting the old kinect working on pc (in unity, funnily enough) and i had the thought of 'hey why don't i link it up to my phone to do vr with', using i think it was called trinus? but i got it working and i told one of my friends who jokingly dared me to hook up a female avatar to it, and so i played along with it, hooked it up, ran everything, put the headset on then... i just froze, i think it was about 10 ish seconds before i broke into tears, i'd never EVER liked what i looked like, and seeing myself as female in the mirror for the first time, it broke me (fixed me?). i just, augh, vr is such a good tool for testing out stuff like that, it's game-changing.
thanks for making an essay on the topic! nice to know i'm not the only one like this haha
I had kind of a similar experience myself, though without full body tracking. Vrchat is what made things finally click and made me finally realize who I was and why I felt so unhappy about my appearance.
When I hopped onto vrchat for the first time I wasn't playing any female characters, more just meme ones and such. One day I found a really, really cool avatar and decided to start using it. Not wanting to be stamped as weirdo and the stereotype that runs around with a female Avatar I didn't use my mic. Using more feminine gestures I found myself in a really weird place, seeing how people interacted with me differently, interacting in a much nicer way. It kind of left me longing for that feeling in the Real World but I just don't and can't see myself being trans, or even just genderfluid, accepting the fact that I am what I am.
Yeah I get you but for completely differnt reasons... I photograpth sunsets and share then on devantart among other things and I record gameplay videos on youtubve and recently got Microsoft Flight sim 2020 which let me see storms and sunsets in a differnt light... But um whenever golden hour comes I find my self going outside to see that gorgus florida sun then see a fake one in the sim even if it's the same sunset in the same area... So yeah VR makes me apcate the outside place more then I used to.
your masculinity is strong, stronger then ppl who say "haha youre gay for wearing purple" its been tested and youre comfortable with your identity
Maybe I’m making assumptions but sounds like you wish being male had the same perks as being female, even if you are personally male
@@Evan345gdf Sounds about right (:
I often take on the form of a long sleeves catgirl that purrs. I choose to be mute while in that form! It gives comfort to those around me and just gives people something cute nearby. I do not talk but I do communicate through gestures as best am able... and if I must I change to a different avatar to speak! This social platform is amazing and I am always impressed with the creativity that people have in it.
Let's also not forget about the fact that thanks to CATS tools, there is a huge catalog of MMD models(anime girls) that can be easily imported into the game with little rigging effort. And that the male models do not have the same care and move much more stiffly. A lot of it is about ease of access to quality.
This has been something ive been meaning to watch/listen to forever, really well done. Thanks so muxh for all the hard work you put into it
I feel like VRChat is a great place honestly, full of both awfully terrible yet uniquely interesting people. It is an amazing avenue for meeting and communicating with people because not only are you practically speaking to their face but you are capable to act and behave however you want. I always take shit every day from who I am or who I'd like to be on both the internet and the real world, so having VRC as a "safe haven" where you could be what you want, when you want, where you want, enables you to be your true self and explore different ways of expressing yourself with much less consequences, maybe even completely detaching your real identity from your virtual one. It can be a safe place where you can experiment and communicate in healthy ways, sometimes even coping and assisting people in their mental image and positivity. When I found VRC, it has greatly helped with my mental status. I'm not an addict, but going onto VRC and talking to my friends and having fun just being myself is something so rare in the real world, that even a little time in VRC can make a big difference on my mood, personality, and behavior.
Most of the people I meet in-game just do whatever they want, because thats how they want to feel. It's also so difficult to communicate with people sometimes, especially in the real-world where talking to strangers is something so strange that getting asked "hello, how are you doing!" by a random person makes you feel like they've mistaken you for someone else, or that they've met you in the past and now you've completely forgot them. But in VRC, the whole game is talking to strangers simulator, which sounds weird to anyone who doesn't play the game, but to those who do, it breaks down social barriers and can help even with people who struggle with social experiences and meeting people.
I usually use furry avatars in game, also. And yes, a public world can be full of toxic people or wonderful people, sometimes even a mix of both. I usually prefer to use sign language when I communicate in game, which already is an amazing capability in of itself, but sometimes even when I'm not speaking, random people speak for me in a public lobby where some random dude is harassing me for no reason. I don't really care about the troll but the fact that theres people there who don't even know you who will talk to you or be interested in you is already huge in comparison to the silent punishment most people might face based on their identities, or the near unestablished inexistance in a world where you're conditioned specifically to ignore people. I am also an avatar creator, yet no matter how many avatars I make, I really don't have a clear main avatar that I frequently use. To me, I just want to look like something cool and cute because its something fun for me, and it makes people remember me for my name and personality rather than my avatar, and the fact that people in VRC can look past the character and just see the lovely bundle of joy on the other side, that is really something.
I've always enjoyed being in the company of others, talking and hanging out, but in the real world, it is something so hard for me to do, not because of social anxiety, but just because of lack of motivation, interest, and inability to "find" people. But VRC has changed that for me, and enabled me to find solace in a community where every day you could find someone new who will talk to you and make you feel welcome and comfortable. Even something like the cursed ERP (erotic roleplay) that can happen in the game can be healthy for some people. VRC cant solve everything, or magically make your life any better, but meeting people and making bonds and experiencing things that you could never experience in real life, yet is something you've always wanted to explore, or something you were curious about, is something that we all desperately need.
Especially during things such as this pandemic, it gives people a window into a near perfect world where you can relieve your stress, and cope, and temporarily extinguish your problems and focus on the present. A place where you can be yourself and almost certainly be accepted somewhere in the community. Maybe you even find a niche or concept that you never knew you would enjoy, or wind up in a community of people you would have never ever met in your whole life otherwise. VRC can be a life changing experience for people who have lots of problems, are punished for being "different", or are just curious and want to have some relaxing time during the day. In VRC, standing next to someone means so much more than sending a text message or joining a voice call, and you get to show people exactly what you want to be, rather than what other people want you to be.
I got a few things, here..
first of all, not even 200 subs? really? this is like 1 mil subs kind of quality, A+++ on that!!
As a trans female, i'd have to say vrchat really changed me, in a good way. Not only do people see me as well me. I can show people who i am aswell.
And i can confirm, random deeptalks with strangers is more common than you might expect.
I like vrchat for the sake that "I can be anyone" and having been training my voice, i can also sound like anyone i want to be. Though it's still difficult when someone responds with "Oh he's a trap, that's not a girl". I don't know how to respond to those. While most poeple i've met on vrc never asked if i really was a girl, most i've had is someone asking about my pronouns (Which is amazing btw).
I've met alot of friends on vrc, some i've met irl. I can say vrc helped me, and also not at the same time..
The biggest problem is reality at this point, everyone online sees me who i am yet my body irl is still the ugly mess that is me. And sadly i can't just go out in a dress wearing makeup cus most people don't even know i'm not really a guy. And with my anxiety i don't even dare to try.
Conventions are the closest thing i've gotten to irl vrc. Friends convinced me it'll be ok, and no-one would bat an eye. They were correct. I will always go to cons with them because that's a one in a year or so chance for me to be me. These moments and vrc have changed my patience aswell. Before i could wait for hormones without feeling a thing, however now i can't wait for the day i can go out and people will think "yes that is girl" without even knowing me.
(also yes, i am programmer, i felt attacked at that part of the video. How dare you explain me. (though i don't like programmer socks))
I typed too much, feels like i'm making a school essay. Hell ,it might aswell be.
Thank you reddit abd Strasz for showing me this, despite the fact i knew most of this, it still helped me haha.
Well, as a trans female, do you have a particular opinion about the culture of everyone being anime girls?
To me, the most interesting thing about it and the hardest to pin down is the way so many perfectly secure guys are happy to wear their personal anime girl avatars unironically. Hell, I do it, and even I can't quite explain it.
@@CatgirlKazu quite honestly never really bother enough to think about it. Everyone is welcome to 'wear' what they want to, if they feel comterable in it then good on them!
don't know why, but it's a fun thing to see, honestly
i am trans female too and feel the same way about vrc
Jessa, what have you been doing to train your voice?
@@kayleewoz I honestly don't know. I have always been cusually training my voice, to the point where i actually wanted to sound like, well, a girl, i could. Though, i still don't know what i'm doing haha
Fully honest, this video is making me look back on stuff about myself and seriously reconsider my gender identity, I really want to try out vr now to get a better idea of how I see myself, thanks a lot
Edit: 1 year later I'm trans, thanks for the video man xD
I went into VRChat as "5dmc1", tied to the societal norms of "be masculine and be tough, yada yada"...I used to put up thick walls and actually separated myself from the internet socially and didnt have any friends IRL because I was too timid and had been rejected and betrayed so many times because of what was deemed as "strange behavior". I didnt know what I was, I thought I was just weird... So i joined when the knuckles meme happened, figuring "this meme is hilarious, and since everyone finds it annoying, nobody will want to be friends with me, so I can just enjoy messing around for a bit as a 'desky' (desktop user) and then leave".....well...that didnt happen.
At first, the expected, or rather wanted, response happened. People rejected me and found me annoying while I laughed my ass off at being a Ugandan Knuckles. But then something strange happened.... I was in Never Have I Ever, off to the side, in the corner, and the T.H.O.T. Police raided the world, one came up to me, dressed as a storm trooper and asked why I was all by myself, truth was I was tabbed out googling what the hell the "tide pod challenge was" and told him "meh, just sitting here, watching youtube...watching idiots eat Tide Pods" to which he found hilarious and called over his group and I repeated myself. Suddenly I found myself accepted into the fold and was going on raids with them, going to worlds, asking silly questions and when we got the wrong responses, shooting meme emoji out of our guns at people to "cleanse" them. I had been accepted. But this was just the beginning...
Some days later, I decided to get a headset. They were all over joyed to see me for the first time moving my hands and being able to aim my meme rifle and finally properly express myself. At this point I found a member of the team who was in another word in a female avatar. I knew he was male and thought that was strange so I joined on him and couldnt find him. I looked around the world (X1 I believe) and found him on a balcony with several other men in female avatars. I wont detail on what some of them were doing as its not safe for work. But...I asked them why, and they took me to an avatar world for the first time that had all female avatars. They said they noticed that sometimes I acted like they did, slightly feminine and flamboyant, they asked me to pick out an avatar and try it out in front of the mirror. Me thinking nothing of it, I did it. I picked out a Yamakaze Succubus avatar and stood in front of the mirror....That....is when everything changed...
I was able to not just see...but feel...her body...I felt her curvy waist, her long hair tickling the bare skin exposed by the skimpy outfit, I felt....phantom touch...for the first time...I wrote down the world and remembered where to find her and put back on my account uploaded police avatar and told them I had to go. But in my own private world I tried her on again.....and again...and again....I couldnt get enough of it.... Being that I also had past experience doing voice impressions, I knew how to control my throat....i could do Joker, Spongebob, and a few other very convincing impressions...so...I started working on a new one....an anime girl impression....Ill admit...I was afraid what my new friends would think if I showed them this. The rest of the group was all super masculine and all about enforcing masculinity with this joke police thing....but...I eventually told them....and they still accepted me. I stopped going on raids after a while though, VRC staff didnt like it cuz the meme cannons we used would lag people and our leader who made the avatars got a short ban for it. So I started hanging out with the few who introduced me to the avatar and helped me discover the new me.
This led me down a bit of a rabbit hole, I started meeting more and more transgender people who discovered themselves in vrchat, more and more who were now even starting irl transitions because of what they experienced in-game. I decided it was time for my name to match my new persona....and so...Demon Rebecca was born...I commissioned a friend to make me my own version of the Yamakaze, one with a K-Pop style outfit similar to Evelynn's from the recently released (at the time) KDA Pop Stars League of Legends video. I rocked that avatar for many years until the VTuber craze started on twitch. I wanted to stream too like many of my friends were moving on to do. So I asked another friend, who did ground-up custom avatars to make me a new one, one that was 100% Demon Rebecca, one that exuded my gothic demoness persona. And now Twitch is my new home. I still get on VRC from time to time, my new avatar is converted to there as well, but due to some controversial stuff that I will not detail in this comment, I had to leave VRChat for the most part...the world that helped shaped me..had also left me scarred in a way I never thought possible.... So, for now, me and VRChat will be distant friends...hopefully someday we can reconnect, but right now, the game makes me feel a bit uncomfortable...when it used to be a place that provided me with a soothing calm...and feeling of being comfortable...in my true self...
Edit: Thank you everyone for your out pouring of love and support towards me! I teared up reading a lot of your comments... Hopefully some of you will follow me on twitch and we can talk one on one there. 💚💚💚
Super inspiring to read about your journey. Im sorry you had to struggle through the negative bits that you glossed over, but Im thankful you shared what you shared. Have a great day, Rebecca.
You wanted to show them da wae, yet in the end it was you who needed to see da wae all along...
This genuinely made me tear up, I'm so glad you were able to explore your identity.
Reading the first two paragraphs of this post and looking up to see it coming from Demon Rebecca, the cute anime girl, really hits like a ton of bricks.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I get that I’ve always considered the feminine avatars a little more my style so that’s what I just used but recently after making friends through the vtubing boom and getting pretty involved in some communities I made the best friends of my life and I just had a layer of understanding with the trans community members that I didn’t seem to really have with anyone else and I realized after a joke about me being someone’s daughter and some self exploring after how great that felt I have finally realized that I’m probably trans I’m not 100% sure yet but it just feels right in a way ya know
8:43 I didn't say, "That's Tupper. " I said, "I'm getting banned."
Oops, all bans
i thought "touhou..."
That's what I say when I see VRPill.
He use to be super ban happy back in the day. Not so much now though.
@@IronMadden VR Pill isn't even one person. The original left a long time ago. Tupper was the 2nd VRPill. And they are currently on the 5th VRPill and hes pretty chilled.
I can only speak from a man's perspective on this, but breaking norms in a profound and thought-out way shows more strength than following them. It shows a solid understanding of your own identity and the confidence to express it with others.
Lol I'm trans and haven't told my parents that I'm transitioning yet. Your comment reminds me of my mom saying "He's just secure in his masculinity" in response to me growing out my hair, painting my nails, wearing makeup, and growing boobs. And that's fine! I love that she's willing to give me the freedom to express myself however I want. She's always been one of those "you get to decide what being your gender means to you" types of people. I think everyone deserves that.
Im just vibing as a mannequin spider, nice video it was really nice hearing more about avatars, identity and stuff.
I honestly want this kind of thing for an exploration of transmasc identities. Since guys are seen as 'default' in so many pieces of media when you see an afab person with a masculine avatar people will default to thoughts like, "Oh they are just...[avoiding harassment from dudes online][A lesbian/butch/etc.][Just playing as a dude because that is default]" But as a genderfluid amab married to a transmasc/enby afab we honestly get annoyed how discussions around trans exploration through media always ends up focusing on transfem/amab individuals.
I think it's because transmascs are pretty good at flying under the radar. At least in my experience, my attempts of passing irl have usually been viewed as tomboyish or lesbian. My voice is a dead giveaway that I'm afab. But when people learn I'm afab, the assumption is never that I'm trans, and any actions or symbols of masculinity I was attempting aren't put into much scrutiny as it would be for an amab performing femininity. There's also a lot more hatred thrown towards transfems. Me coming out as a transman has been at worst, told that I'm confused and actually a lesbian.
It's a double edged sword honestly. A part of me likes the silent treatment. In online spaces, girls are questioned if they are secretly guys. When I say I'm a guy, it's simply believed (at least until I turn my mic on). It feels lonely sometimes. But I don't want to come out of hiding either. There's possibly a lot of transmascs hiding on the internet like me. It's the one space I can run to for full validation where no one is the wiser. Hell if I'm assumed something online, it's that I'm a gay man (which even though is typically used to insult me, it gives me euphoria).
I've always found that annoying too, its like everyone forgets that there's more than 1 group
@@karkatvantass3730 I think it comes with that shitty notion that all males are secretly perverts while women are more submissive and neutral in that aspect. And how, a comment mentioned above Female Identity= sexualized, Male Identity= desexualized
The transmasc experience isn't really questioned a lot because with masculine being the default desexualized/neutral option people might just assume "she just likes dressing comfortably, isn't too bothered by her appearance, might just be a bit confused, is not a big deal" instead transfem immediately get picked with the rubber gloves "HAH! a MAN on a SKIRT and MAKE UP??? That sounds degenerate they must get their kicks from it..."
Not trying to be rude(if I was I wouldn't be here) but I don't know what any of those words aside from the trans part of transmasc. What is enby, afab, and amab
@@Saltius999 I don't remember what enby means (I think non-binary but idk), but afab means "assigned female at birth", and amab means "assigned male at birth" and is a useful indicator for both biological sex, and cultural experiences of a person
This reminds me of something I heard from a Gen X'er about Rocky Horror Picture Show showings. It was, in their words, "a place where you could _play_ with gender". Like, everywhere else in broad society in the 1970's assumed and demanded gender conformity, but no matter what you were feeling about yourself or how it fit with society's expectations, you could show up to a midnight Rocky Horror showing in your nearby big town in some lesser-known venue, wearing fishnet stockings, a feather boa, a bowtie, and a big, fancy hat, or whatever else, and you would look perfectly _NORMAL_ in that context. Cross-dressing or dressing up in entirely different attire than what would be considered socially acceptable elsewhere not only did not look out of place, but it *also* didn't prompt pointed questions like "Oh, does this mean you're a (woman/man) now? Does this mean you're into (women/men)?" No questions were necessary, _because_ it was so normalized, and whether you're a pansexual nonbinary person of color or a cisgender heterosexual white man, you were welcome to play with gender, and even for cisgender, heterosexual folk, that is a very valuable thing, because sometimes it is only through experimentation that we can really be secure in what is right for us, since we've tried on some other options.
An avatar in VR is like an outfit you wear, only it's not limited to just what fabric you put over your body. Similar to how the addition of glasses can make a person seem more formal, or smart, me walking into a server wearing a busty kermit avatar with a twerk emote can make me seem like a weirdo, or a man with bad taste.
I would feel more comfortable talking to a busty Kermit rather than a 11 year old girl who’s being played by a 36 year old man ☠️
This one is a great essay, from start to finish everything was on point.
The Fluid Zone also looks like a great place, that intro was unexpected, very well-made and sexy in all the right ways. 10/10
i always kinda thought that gender studies was a joke of a study but i have gotta say i was really intrigued by the ideas presented in this video. good video, you have changed my mind
Watches insanely high-quality video with big production value... Notices only 200 subs...
UA-cam hecc you and promote that channel... It deserves it more than 90% of the channels on the trending page.
I wonder if part of it is that we expect women to perform emotional labor - so like, by throwing on an anime cat girl it's like less hard to break the barrier for guys. Which is kinda sad in some ways but maybe we're making some progress. I know a lot of men really only express their emotional issues to their partners or female relatives/friends.
As a trans programmer who models 3d anime girls, this is the best advertisement for vr chat I've seen to date.
Wait a minute what how many trans programmers are there? I like programming and I'm a trans girl too!
You are robot?
@@serendipity-tilde Sophie Wilson designed the ARM microprocessor, so not only is it common in the modern day, there is also a historic trend of talented trans programmers
@@serendipity-tilde we are everywhere
@@serendipity-tilde programming doesnt give shit about gender. so u likely to see lot of alphabet people in that profession
I've always been super curious what it is that a lot of my buddies prefer to be anime girls. I've only ever really worn male avatars, but then again I was raised with "healthy male masculinity" (The strong will and confidence paired with a close understanding of your own and other's feelings, and being honest with oneself) So I've never felt a pressure to be female. Then again, I guess my "anime girl" thing is furries so yeah.
One thing I've noticed is that it's very hard to find a "cozy" male avatar that isn't explicitly an e-boy, you'll usually find hyper-masculine soldiers or armor or guns and whatnot, so I guess there's an accidental pressure from within VR to turn away from male avatars should you ever actually want to relax. An interesting thought.
This has been pretty enlightening though, I'll be looking at it all through a new lens from now on.
I really like the phrase/term "healthy male masculinity". A lot of discussion about gender nowadays revolves around femininity, which of course is a good thing, but it feels like masculinity is lagging behind. Being a masculine male without adopting the traits of toxic masculinity is very rare to see these days, and it's something I'm personally working towards.
You lost me at furries damn.
@@rayleo9940 sadly now a lot of healthy masculinity is mistaken as toxic.
I'd really like to take you on a deep dive into the furries in vrchat and why we are difficult to find if you don't know where to look. Furries tend to have completely custom made models made from scratch that they commissioned hundreds of dollars from an artist. Rather than kit-bashing in unity that is done with anime avatars.
not all of them are kitbashed, it's not a unique to furry thing, but kitbashing (and humans in general) are a lot more generic than furries ever are, which are far more dynamic, requiring a custom model. I have done kemono/furry models from scratch too, but it's rare to get something completely unique (and male). Meathamski's is one I'm quite proud of, and it looks like nothing else in vrchat.
There are a tooooon of kitbashed furry avatars, especially certain public ones. That same sharp looking fox, otter, and... Well... Your shiba.
@@KeyTryer "Sharp looking fox" you mean rexouium xD?
*"Everyone should be a cute anime girl."*
Wouldn't that make life just so much simpler?
I'm a cisgendered male who plays an anime girl in VRChat. Why? Because just like you said, when I first got into making avatars, it was far easier to find female assets to work with than male ones. So, after a string of low quality avatars of varying levels of suck, I went with one of the lead characters of one of my favorite anime: Momo Deviluke from To Love Ru. Never really thought a whole lot about it, it was just the first decent avatar I'd built and I had every intention of moving on to bigger and better avatars once I got the experience to do so.
But then something weird happened. I started making friends. Between all of us, we formed a community. And I got to be known as that avatar...not only do other people not recognize me right away if I show up in another avatar (or switch to another one out of sight), but *I* don't feel right in any other avatar. I've tried making male avatars. They don't feel right to me. And that feels weird, because I'm not questioning my gender identity in real life...but maybe I am in the game? Is it possible to have that kind of split in your identity? I have no desire to be female in real life, nor would I consider myself nonbinary or genderfluid, but when in VRChat I feel comfortable in female skin and clothes, and to be honest it's a bit strange. But you know what? I like it anyway. "I just wanna be cute, motherfucker!" So I am, to the point that I have indeed created more avatars...of the same character in alternate clothing, holiday costumes, better physics, dynamic bones, better animations...and as the character evolved, so did I, becoming more open, more expressive, more social, and in some ways adopting feminine mannerisms and expressions. Hell, when I strap on full body and dance in VR, my movements are more feminine in nature because they fit the body I'm in, something I definitely would NOT be comfortable doing in my own skin. I also found myself, for the first time, testing the limits of my sexuality, and discovering that I am indeed hererosexual, but I'm panromantic, which is something I never would have discovered without this medium.
In real life, I'm a cisgendered male. In VRChat, I'm a cute anime girl who's completely comfortable in a female body and comfortable with shrugging off the standards of masculine behavior, at least for that time. And in some ways, that six-to-eight hour span of time each week that I have reserved as my VRChat time is the high point of my week.
thats pretty awesome. But btw im wondering... did it change your personality outside?
I've found that interacting as a girl has made me... more peaceful... less tense just more chill and happier and content, i guess.
In real life, I hide my power level.... In the virtual world, I'm an edgy racist with a heart of gold. lol
Personally, in any game that gives me the option, I always pick the female version of the character despite being a strait male irl. I honestly never put much thought into it, it was just something i did. When I played smash, I liked playing Corin. They have two forms, I always picked the female form. Same with Robin, and also Byleth when they came out. Idk why I did this, I just did. Very interesting video! Thanks
I do the same but my reasoning is basically "if I'm gonna have to stare at a character ass for hours on end I might as well look at a women's "
Always found it boring to pick the male character, the female character was always more interesting
Check out smallant, he plays the female half the time
@@baldychkn2949 Same mindset here lol
I grew up picking the male character as I am a male and prefer that. But I had many friends growing up that chose female characters. A lot used the argument of “looking at their ass instead of a dudes”. To me I thought they just chose the girl cause they are attracted to them and are just horny. I would’ve never thought anything deeper than that till this video.
Nonbinary amab here. Just wanted to say that I was really really touched by the tenderness and insight that you exhibited with the discussion about gender euphoria/dysphoria, and your comments on the trans community overall.
One quote in particular really got me--"A sudden obvious answer to a nagging question that was never previously acknowledged."
That insight is so personal and it's really special that you were able to find that as someone who isn't trans. Sasuga Stradz-Dono, I am super grateful to have found this video and it's a privilege to have enjoyed your content.
I was watching this assuming this was a kind of big channel, then I look at the viewcount and it's just under 3000. WHAT?
7:40 this is why avatar ripping is such an uncool thing to do. It's one thing to copy somebody's random meme avatar, it's a completely different thing to steal the body they identify with. I'll gladly share my memes, but get your grimy hands off my personal avatars.
lmao this reminds me of being multiple and having a "fictional" identity (fictive) and feeling strangely irate about finding a "double." someone can look like you, and you probably have a twin irl outside VR chat too, but there is something much more personal about a raw self you identify with rather than just your flesh body itself.
In regards to gender, I suppose mine is just “cool dragon” at this point. Being stuck in a wheelchair I don’t get to socialize as often as I’d like outside of my home, but VRC has opened up a whole entire world for me. I’ve found friends, community and comfort in self expression. Sure, public worlds are a hassle when you’re wearing an ambiguous, non-human avatar, but I don’t mind. I feel comfortable and secure. Hell- I’m even getting a fully custom model to fit me to a T and I’m more excited for this than I have ever been for anything irl. I know that getting this silly amalgamation of triangles is gonna feel like my first *truly* exciting birthday. VRC is something incredible and for all it’s flaws I’m glad it exists at the same time I do. I’m thankful that I get to participate in this wonderful phenomenon.
I just want people to understand. It's completely fine to be a male who enjoys things that are perceived as feminine by others and society. And it is completely fine for a female to like things that are perceived as masculine. Just because you like these things, doesn't necessarily mean you are now the gender that is associated with these things.
I have nothing but respect for people brave enough to be who they really are, but I have known people who unfortunately have jumped the gun on decisions like that and have ended up incredibly miserable as a result. It hurts to see because people just need to be honest with themselves. Please, just be true to who you are.
It's true, I used to believe I was a transgender FTM folk because I could not fit into any usual or even uncommon archetypes of what it means to be a woman, having "woman issues" e.g. usually revolving around worrying about their appearance or having some attachment to define themselves through it, through clothing choice or application make up, conducted behavior to society and meeting expectations, caring about how men and women judge them for their perceived lack of femininity (like shaving their body hair, etc.), and as an important sidenote, I was never the expressive type either. No one ever knew what kind of emotion I ever felt, no one ever knew what kind of internal battles I've faced. What do you think when you hear that other than, typical "male" issue, right? Then there's also the aspect of free time and how it's statistically handled differently by gender, personally I grew up as a gamer since I was in toddler ages, in terms of music my main genre is rock and metal, I'm also not interested in make up or fashion (my personal ideal of fashion is a black t-shirt with jeans or something), I'm very emotionally open with my friendships now and all but I could never care less about tropes of romance and falling in love and all, have never gotten in any relationships or heck, never even had my first kiss as of yet (I'm an adult) getting married or especially having a family never crossed my mind or my interest, never had that "mother" instinct so many women around me seem to speak of, so on and so forth, you get the point.
I'm not even gonna lie, at some point around 15 years of age I started feeling like everyone around me tried to push me into this box, the box of what I was "fated" or "supposed" to be as a person born with a vagina, to the point where I was just confused. I wanted nothing more to be left alone, but alas, I guess that was too hard for them, so I ended up having a lot of conflicting thoughts, I ended up identifying myself as a male for the past 3-4 or so years, that was until the realization hit me; non of these things have to be tied to gender. Identity is just the thing we'd like to construct based on how we know our genuine selves to be, and how we want that to be perceived through the eyes of other people, socially. Gender identity in specific is even more about trying to translate this message. I'm not going to say that being trans is invalid as everyone's experiences are certainly unique and arbitrary, but I think it's worth to investigate about the psychology behind wanting to see oneself as something you're physically not. I know what I went through was very genuine, and I was having pretty much episodes of gender dysphoria where I started hating my body only due to cursing my assigned gender at the time.. it's crazy to think about it now, because I no longer feel that way. I tried reflecting a lot, meditating a lot, diving into the psychology of things a lot, and so, over time, by changing my perception of what things meant and trying to identify the real issue, such as what really bothered me at the core (social perception, wanting to match my true identity to it) I started becoming fine with the idea of not conforming to my gender. Too bad people around us are still gonna give us crap about it.
Apologies for the long chunk, your comment just made me feel like I had to share my two cents on this. Never really talked about it much except with one bud of mine, my point really just boils down to this: there is nothing inherently female or inherently male about behavior, personality, hobbies, etc. even if we can find occurring patterns pointing to one direction, I largely believe there is a lot of work of social conditioning behind most things that drive people nowadays. I was personally a very introverted, isolated kid that never got socialized much neither got to spend time on social media, thus, I ended up avoiding any sort of conditioning in my early kid and teenage years, and that's the product. I feel like an alien but I don't mind, only when others bother me about it.
@@404-o9d Your story was amazing, thank you for sharing it with me. All throughout my time growing up I was much like you, shy, introverted, and left to my own devices. I would constantly prefer to be inside either playing games, or writing little story's to myself. I wasn't really concerned with social interaction as much as my siblings.
My family had an awful habit of ignoring me, not out of malicious intent, but out of relief that I wasn't another 'problem child' like my siblings. The only thing this taught me though, was that my problems weren't important enough for anyone but myself. I'm sure you can guess just how harmful that can be for a growing kid.
All throughout my formative years I was confused as all hell, as my friends constantly spouted and demonstrated toxic masculinity, and forced me to act the same. I was constantly mocked for liking 'girly' things and being more artistic or sensitive around them. Eventually, as I hit my teens, I found I had less and less friends. To the point where even other people around me knew me as that weird guy. That's stuck with me ever since, until now I am an adult man who has never even had a first kiss as well.
I really began to question whether or not I was Trans. It threw me into the worst bout of depression I have ever had, so much so that I nearly flunked high-school despite being a straight A student through all the rest of my grades. I have never shared the extent of how bad this was with anyone because again, I have a compulsion to keep all of my problems away from the people I care about. There's too much in their lives more pressing, and all.
Eventually, after having a chance encounter with someone who had experience as a psychologist, I began to rethink things. It was okay to be who I am, and just because society labels things as man, woman, or what have you, that doesn't mean I need to adopt those labels myself in a shoddy form of conforming to society at the cost of my own identity.
Hearing your story helps, because it truly makes me feel like I'm not alone. I'm glad you found your path, and I hope others who might be struggling with the same thing can rise above as well.
@@MegaChibirobo Much glad to have been of help, I can assure you, you are not alone in having felt alone, lol. I really did mean the part of feeling like an alien, half bothered me in the past and half not really. Half bothered because I never felt anyone shared this problem of mine, when I tried searching for content related to gender and identity then all I could find is two of those things;
1. There is a stage of psychology known as "not like other girls" where youngster women try to act opposing to their given nature of femininity because it is presented as something inferior and weak to be in today's society, which I agree is a totally genuine phase, however, I didn't find myself relating to any "femininity rejecting and finally embracing through emotional maturation" part because it presupposes all women are required to have this feminine aspect in themselves somewhere to begin with, which, I know it's just a word trying to define some commonplace qualities associated to women. I just don't personally relate to any, as described above, so those videos only made me feel more and more distanced from what should be my fellow peers in gender, no news there though.
And the most somewhat relatable to my case, 2. Trans men (women assigned at birth, finding their identity as men) realizing that instead of existing in that headspace of rejection, instead figured out they truly were different (emasculated?) in some genuine way, thus, memeing the phrase of "not like other girls.." to "because I'm a man!" joke, which is funny and I like, however, still not fully relatable to my own set of issues, as you can understand since I don't think I am a transgender folk after all.
I just gave up on the topic and thought of it like this, there's no reason to try and scout for people who may personally resonate, I know there may be some out there, or even if there aren't, should we really worry that much about it? each individual has their own unique experiences eitherway, with our own subjective interpretations of reality. We don't have to try to find someone else in order to figure things out with ourselves, and finally, draw in some stability and security with the self. You are to be your own friend, your own parent, and your own mentor all at the same time, above all, you will understand yourself more than anyone else ever could, on some personal level at least. There's little need to look outwards.
@@404-o9d I can certainly relate to that. I have had to work tirelessly to replace my unhealthy coping mechanisms and habits with healthy ones, and every time it's like I'm trying to be a parent to myself. To reteach myself how to fit into my own life. I've never met anyone who has had a similar kind of experience, but to be fair that's mostly because I don't go out of my way to meet people most days.
What I'm most happy for now is that I no longer feel the need to lie to anyone, or most importantly, to myself. I want to care about people, and I want to do it openly. It gets a bit hard sometimes since I am in the military, but no matter how people may treat me as a result I always take solace in the fact that I am finally comfortable with who I am. Even if the journey's far from over, that feeling gives me strength to press forward.
I want more people to find that for themselves, and I'll be honest, you put it into far better words than I could have. So thanks again!
@@404-o9d I somewhat relate to this too. I am also female, and I would consider myself to be more masculine than women supposedly are meant to be. I do have some feminine interests, but I have masculine ones as well, and I would consider myself to be more of a fundamentally masculine person. I do feel a little weird about it, since I'm not quite sure where I fit in, and I don't have many friends, since although I do my best to be friendly and people tend to like me, I just don't know how to really make friends with people. A part of me feels a bit like it would make more sense if I was a lesbian, because butch lesbians are a thing, but as far as I can tell I am straight, and not really any form of lgbt. I find the "not like other girls" thing reasonable, in a way, but I guess I am not sure whether it matters. I feel like people should be allowed to reject things like femininity if that is not who they want to be. I will admit that because I don't know many people outside of my family very well, I don't really know what most girls/women are really like. The women in my family tend to be somewhat tomboyish anyway, so I fit in there. I guess I just wanted to say that this resonated with me, so I guess you've found at least somebody else like you.
As a trans woman who transitioned far before Vr existed (90s lol) I love seeing content like this and people exploring their own identities. Love it. Oh and I’m so happy I found your channel!! Your content is top notch!
Well clearly as a trans woman still at the "never gets gendered correctly, even when I ask" stage of things, this is a sign to give VR Chat a try again. Moving made me sick last time but this makes me want to push through it.
Lots of people talk about men shunned for showing signs of femininity. We don't talk nearly as much about girls shaming each other for looking "mannish". You didn't mention how, anime girls look YOUNG. They're young women with the faces of infants. They're an impossible standard. Anime girls might be an escape from masculine norms, but they're also simultaneously an unattainable female norm. No one asks, *Why do we see so many men being anime girls, but we don't see just as many women being, for instance, The Hulk?*
you nailed it, it is %100 escapism, however I do have the same questions as you, WHY do people escape like this in the modern day? Is this something I will deal with, have dealt with, or dont want to? What have people done in the past to escape, is the answer escape? Seeing people escape like this very commonly opens my eyes to other people on what people close and far around me can operate on a different level of reality. I believe that this will influence my perspective on others situations
Thats a curious one, I think the inherent biological response to "cute" things plays a role in it, be a cute girl or cute boy, but there's definitely a cultural aspect as to why there's not as many women wanting to embrace and portray masculinity as there are men with femininity.
Maybe its just the presence of men on the internet vs women
Maybe its the cultural depictions of femininity vs masculinity
Maybe deep down, everyone wants to be feminine to varying degrees, and it should just be the default state
I don't know, but its interesting
@@luider8795 as of right now, the fact that so many people are looking into escapism like this is mildly concerning, biologically humanity has always flocked to distractions from reality, but we are getting closer and closer to true escape, what are the consequences of that?
@@Ben-li9zb I admit, I ain't got no answers. And I'm not mad at Strasz for not answering these specific questions. I just think this video could have scraped a *little* deeper than it did.
@@AlexReynard I kind of agree, I think the final section about masculinity answers those questions to an extent, but definitely could be deeper. The answer is probably in other video essays though, I might look for one
I think I can speak for a good amount of the trans community when I say that it can be super hard to explore your identity. Even if you are just considering it emotionally it's a struggle, and to add on the social pressure of someone potentially finding out that you might be queer, and the immense social implications that can have. It can be a huge struggle to even think about having to explain to your usually transphobic parents that you think you're not the gender that they perceive you to be, and VR chat is, in many ways, an extension to people exploring their identities in any other pseudo-anonymous platform.
Smashed the sub button within 5 minutes. Fantastic work.
man I was so invested into this video I didn't even realize it was an hour long until it was over
Girl watching this vid:
🤩0:00 OMG a video talking about crossdressing in VR!
🥰5:00 Nice to know this is a common experience :D
😊17:30 Woah, It's cool to know guys feel the same way Woo!!
😌27:12 Waits patiently for the part about girls who use guy avatars.
😳37:00 Ok, that's fine, maybe there will be a mention of cross-dressing women/drag kings/FTM even for a brief moment.
🥺54:40 It's the same way around... it's the same sense of freedom and escape both ways, we are similar! .....something...anything..? Just one mention, one, please.
🥲59:00 ok :')
😖Maybe someone in the comments will explain the pain girls go through too..
😥oh..
😅...and this is why I'm commenting!
48:25 "It's bad to be feminine in any way. It's weakness." This is just one of the many reasons why women escape and RP as men. I feel for both Men and Women and Everyone. Society sucks :)
For some reason our society holds the idea of masculinity as being a much more important thing to maintain...
The video is kinda ironic when you realise vice versa is never mentioned
Yeah there’s some girls that wear male vrchat avatars too, Ngl they are pretty good at convincing others
Why does this video titled "Why is everyone in VR an anime girl?" doesnt speak about using male avatars????
@@KarleonBR That's the subtitle, the clickable and catchy hook that pulls in otherwise uninterested viewers. The formal title, the thesis topic of the video, "Identity, Gender, and VRChat" would reasonably cover more than that.
Can’t watch till after work but I saw this video’s title and length and got extremely hype
Great video. The only time I get shy to talk with people is when I'm in male masculine avatars. When I'm in female avatars, I often express more masculine behaviours without anxiety.
"If there were equal demand, there would be an equal number of male and female avatars." Common assumption, but under-explored. Honestly, I haven't seen any evidence for it so far. Since VRChat does not build your character from a menu of options, there's a divide between the average player and one truly able to create their own custom avatar. The former picks through an assortment of public avatars and spends days, weeks, months, or even forever, trying to find just the right one.
Choice of gender could be irrelevant. Imagine you have to choose one of these: male body builder, male pirate, female police officer, female dancer, sexy businesswoman, female nurse, uniformed schoolgirl, female pilot, female scientist, or female punk rocker. Now we have a limited set of avatars significantly skewed to one gender, as it is in VRChat. Each attribute makes it impossible to generalize player's choices based on gender alone.
I don't say the rest of your essay untrue by any means, in fact I thoroughly enjoyed it. I just find it frustrating that gender in VRChat is so often discussed outside of this context. If you MUST present as male, then your options are especially limited. That context is necessary and relevant.
I'd like to provide some gentle pushback to the idea that male avatars are either lacking or undesirable. Both Vroid and ReadyPlayerMe have plenty of customizable options for men. And male characters dominate the pop culture. Considering the lax approach to copyrighted material, the fact that you, you sitting there, could be Iron Man or Goku or Scott Pilgrim or Miles Morales or Geralt or Waluigi or Phoenix Wright or Freddy Kruger or Sonic The Hedgehog or a thigh high wearing catboy kinda begs the question, if you could essentially be any man you want... Why are so many men playing as women?
To me it's less of the idea that VRChat makes men play as women, and more that men who are open to play as women gravitate towards the experience. Hardware shops fill up with woodworkers, VRChat fills up with men who want to embody a feminine avatar.
The men who do dress as men tend to be in either three; Very stylish but kinda overdesigned and edgy male avatars, od furries or monsters. I met the most poignant New Vegas Deathclaw in a top floor apartment in VRChat. Had a long conversation about road safety and the perils of driving.
What body you're comfortable in says something about you. I'm willing to wager that if you're not finding a male body you're comfortable in, I think you might enjoy inhabiting a female body more than you're letting yourself admit. Doesn't have to say anything about your gender, could just be that in this particular game you like something different.
@@mdstevens0612I was going to say that.
But even with the *cyclopean* amount of anime girl and memes/mics avatars there is still a lot and a lot of custom anime men avatars (yes anything else than anime chara are considered misc in vrc :D), apart from games and movies characters, of all styles and shapes, from beefy emo e-boys to cute catboy or just cool oc.
On top of that things like vroid make custom anime avatar creation very easy, eventually combined with some basic asset ripping and mashing (with consent) with unity or blender, you just need some basic computer skills and a bit of research and your good to go with something as good than something out of a random character creator.
So I think indeed than, on top of just blending in, peoples in vrc just like being anime girls and playing with gender and identity in general (I mean you seen all those Kermit guys that never break character ever? Or a space marine using voice modulator out of role-playing context :D)
I agree with the original comment. I cant find a cool looking male avatar either. I dont want to play as an established character. I want a random guy thats not weird looking or already has a theme. @@mdstevens0612
your production value is insane, this is a crazy good video. such interesting subject matter, i’ve not seen many touch on. you’ve obviously put work into it and it shows! keep it up man 👍
I appreciate the contra points vibe. Interesting video man, love it!
'...and we all want something beautiful
man i wish i was beautiful'
I really did not think I would watch an hour video on this topic, but it was so well thought out and really kind of explains a lot of what happens in VRC. For the last 10 years of my I been struggling with my gender identity and VRC was a really nice environment for me to explore and ultimately feeling like being a trans woman was comfortable to me
As a trans girl myself, please don't worry about being canceled or having said something you shouldn't have. I can tell from watching that you covered this with the utmost care. And, if I may be honest, *I actually assumed that you were genderfluid yourself, especially when you dressed up in Chapter 2!* (You looked great by the way. I'm not sure how much work you put in, but you looked fantastic.)
As for my own experiences of all this, VRchat has been pretty kind to me, personally. I'm a professional 3D modeler, so I've gotten to make all my own avatars rather than use one someone else made. Seeing myself in VR has been super cool, and the part about cosplay was very neat as well. I'd never considered doing cosplay, up until the point where I looked in the mirror and saw my model of a character from a game I adored. (Celeste is fantastic and you should play it. Madeline is an adorable bean.)
Thank you for this informative video. I know my comment is over a year out of date, but I hope you see this. I really enjoyed it! :)
Hey my sister came out as a trans man can you give advice please? Also 3d modeling is cool. I've tried making some stuff in blender.
@@blakkwaltz Best thing to do is to just ask questions. Figure out where they're comfortable. Do some research online as well if you're able. Ask what their pronouns are now. If they're a trans man, I would assume He/Him now, and they're your brother instead of your sister. They may potentially be non-binary as well. Best just to ask where they stand. (Probably. I still let my little brother call me my old name and "brother",x though I'm kind of an odd case.) It'll take a lot of getting used to, but it'll probably do them a world of good for them.
Additionally, if you ever catch yourself accidentally misgendering them, brush over it immediately. Don't comment on it. Just say "Sorry" and correct yourself. Making a big deal out of it can be super awkward for the both of you. It's not your fault that you're used to how they were, but it is your responsibility to adjust to how they want to be seen. See if there's any gender-affirming things you can do for them. Clothes in particular are very helpful; they may want a binder, and or *a lot of very thick sweat jackets.* 🤣
Additionally, depending on their age, see if they're interested in HRT or puberty blockers. Puberty Blockers do exactly what they say on the tin; prevent your puberty from occuring until you want it to. This allows young trans people more time to be sure of things. If they aren't sure, they just stop taking the blockers and their puberty happens as normal, just a little later. If they are sure, they can transition without having to overcome the hurdle of getting past their initial puberty. We've been using them since the 60's and they're perfectly safe.
I'm less familiar with Trans-masc HRT than Trans-fem HRT, but if I recall correctly Testosterone is a bit more expensive. If you can get it tied into your healthcare (if you have any, considering the economy 🙄) that would help tremendously. HRT and Transitioning isn't just a cosmetic thing for a lot of trans people, it's a matter of basic comfort. Many trans people hurt themselves without it; not having support from your loved ones can be a devastating feeling, and it'll cause them a lot of self doubt.
Finally, I don't know how old you or your brother, but if you still live at home with your parent or parents, discuss with your brother if your comfortable with them knowing about it. Being trans is often a very uncomfortable thing, and some people are less than charitable, even hostile. Religious people in particular may become aggressive or otherwise hostile, so it's best to see where your brother stands on being "out".
I hope all that helps! It's gonna be rough for your brother. Transition is rough business, in general. There's going to be a lot of self doubt, questioning about sexuality and identity, and frankly the rollercoaster ride doesn't really stop. Good luck to them, and thank you, really, for taking the time to ask!
@@EnderIzzy124 your welcome *nods*
Yeah I think I might be genderfluid too
For me I'm just not sure if it's insecurity based or not though like it depends on who I'm around
Like my gender around like dudes is male but around chicks its female and around enbies it depends on what vibe I get but I generally tend to act gender neutral
And like idk not always I just always get paranoid of seeming like weak around men but then also like I genuinely enjoy being masculine sometimes too
It's like a combination really for me of like irrational maybe like fear and then genderfluidity
I always felt bad saying I was trans because I'd basically function as a male irl at work and everything I just have my discord friends and irl friends call me Kanna or Aetri instead
I get dysphoric about my appearance but also just don't have it bad enough to where I'd want to do HRT personally
It's just like a big mess lol
I wish I could have a cute dress but I also get really competitive and wanna be an epic super buff chad at the same time XD
But then I get dysphoricc so rip
It doesn't matter though we're all valid like gender is hard to figure out and all
@@ruleoftrees4059 Oh absolutely. I'm still the same way myself. At the very least you've admitted that you probably aren't cis, haha.
Something that I would note is that this process sort of reveals a lot of the biases a person has. While I was never sexist (not even close lmao) I did have a lot of preimagined ideas and expectations about womanhood that in reality aren't very fair. Like, sure, I'm a woman now, but I still want to have the ability to be strong when I need to be, even if I'm now allowing myself to be more vulnerable. Does this desire for strength make me more masculine? Does it cancel out any desire for feminity I may have? I'd say no, and I'd further more say it's kinda weird that we just assume that women aren't allowed to have those qualities, just as men aren't allowed to be vulnerable or dependent. Gender is social, and part of that are the weird things we've built overtime sticking around even though really they have no reason to be there. We just keep them there because that's how it's always been.
For me personally, I identified far more with the gender fluid label at the start because I really didn't get any dysphoria, and I was still functional in society as a man (or, more accurately, boy, I'm 20 lol). However, I also found that as I slowly settled into one Identity, my dysphoria began to go up. I'd look in the mirror and think "that doesn't look like an Izzy". I became more aware of my body; "I have no boobs. I'm overweight. I have too much body and facial hair. Blah blah blah." Slowly I became more and more aware of just how little I didn't fit into the category I decided to settle in and the dysphoria came rushing in little by little, yet saying "well, fuck it. Guess I'm stuck as a dude" sounds **horrifying**!
In the end... Yeah, gender do be a fuck. To this day I think I only really identify with the label because some part of me is like "Well what if I *need* to be a dude?" Your experience is likely different from mine. Gender fluid people do exist, else we probably wouldn't have a name for it, no? You may genuinely be gender fluid, in which case, based, pog, proud of you, go off king-queen-monarch-thing... Or you might be like me, who used it as a term to help guide me through my early days. Do whatever is comfortable. ☺️
Great video, loved the outfits and the lighting
I really appreciated your recognition of your own privilege and how it affects your outlook and love the encouragement of continual learning about gender and continual examining views and bias
💜💖💜
When i started with VR something like VRChat was a no-go for me as an introvert. 3 month later i finally tried it anyway - and it was great, even when looking like a silly teddybear. Finding a good male avatar was hard, there aren't so much. Then a gender-changing situation came up in my family, and i realized that i can at least try this in VR to give me a better understanding - so i did. And that was quite a shocking experience for me standing in front of a mirron in the wrong sex. I had to change back after a few minutes. But on the other hand i'm not the hormon-driven guy, other people can be whatever they want to be, i'm almost not interested in sexual relationship either... just not the typical male.
That experimet was interresting anyway, it gave me a feeling which helped to understand, and i went some steps further. I tried that again some times, went into crowded places as anime-girl and talked to people. That was easier than expected in most of the cases. Ok, there are a few dudes who can't accept it or have some kind of gay-phobia, but even that was not really a problem. Damn i finally ended up dancing on a pole in a crowded club shaking the boobs!
I'm still using a male avatar for 80% of the time, but my view on that topic has changed within some weeks. It is mind-opening, and trying that is a valuable experience i can recommend. VRChat is a good place for that.
I find VR Chat fascinating for many reasons including technical, psychological and philosophical, One of these things is just how widely freedom of gender expression is accepted by the majority of players
This game has changed how I view myself. From a Cis het male to a furry that was closer in nonbinary then to A transfem Bi Aro furry talking with my friends that are in poly.
Men playing girls online is a very old practice. When I was growing up, back in the days of forums and IRC channels, there already was a saying: "The Internet; where men are men, women are men, and kids are FBI agents."
We can't talk in absolutes anymore now that the normies invaded; but the trend does still persist.
I hate how corporatized the once very free internet has become, but that's something I don't miss lol.
Well as Straszfilms has said, VRChat is simply the old internet experienced in a new way
Great video! Friend shared this in a discord server (mainly all vrc players) and i'm glad they did, definitely worth the sub!
Just want comment out of nowhere, that first scene entering the fluid zone, that lighting makes it look really nice. Like damn, getting down to business kind of vibe. Love it.
I don't use VR chat, but I love experimenting with my gender expression in Animal Crossing New Horizons. Since the game defaults to they/them pronouns, I can dress any way I want without experiencing dysphoria.
Interesting. Unless it was something added by Nintendo of America, I'm kinds surprised they included it. Nintendo is a Japanese company and things like being aware of pronouns like that isn't very common, at least not in the same way it is in the west.
@@kaejuka6249 I think they're only gender neutral in the English translation, but it was still a pleasant surprise to finally be able to play as a character that uses my pronouns.
@@kaejuka6249 one of the reasons that Nintendo of Japan doesn't think about pronouns is that the Japanese language doesn't have gendered pronouns. everything is an "it". they do have words that are used more by one gender, but it's more of a social thing. it's not like romance languages where every word has a gender. also, our western perception of identity is unique to the west. This isn't to say other countries are necessarily bigoted. They just have a different way of seeing things. Like how latinos absolutely despise the term "latinx." the main reason they dislike it is not because of transphobia. it's because their language literally isnt built for that. that term was made by people who were raised in the USA and don't even speak spanish. that kind of cultural ignorance rightfully pisses people off. but in the USA, those kind of inclusive changes are seen as positive. sorry for ranting so much. Im a nerd when it comes to language and culture.
@@stuckonaslide I thought Japanese had gendered 1st and 2nd person pronouns?
I love that too! ACNH was the first time I’ve allowed myself to experiment with how I look. My character started out really boring and I did not all all feel connected to it because I was afraid and ashamed of being seen by others with any attribute that could be interpreted as not male. But over a long period of time I slowly changed more and more things about my character until I was really happy with it and experienced things I’ve never experienced before. ACNH played a big part in my more recent self-discoveries and I’ve become really attached to my character, as you can probably see.
"Everyone should be a cute anime girl"
Me: _a furry._
yeah these people aren't very inclusive of other types of being beyond female / male standards, what if I want to be genderless or not have a humanlike form? what if I want to be another life form completely with no regard to humanistic values?
A cute furry though :D
ew
@@waxdood i want to be a giant waterbear. 😁
Be a cute anime furry ! ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ