What gets me is the Gluger ad, because damn me-if you replaced the Gluger with a burger or a truck and stopped at the eagle shooting lazor beems, it'd be exactly what you can see on commercial breaks.
@@stephendrobinski2426 Arrow IV is a missile artillery system, and I don't think it's hate so much as a joke about how many variants there are, 18 factory variants, not to mention even Clanners have Hunchbacks.
The way for your Urbanmech to at least arrive early and get one kill. Use a military transport to fly it over the battlefield and bomb an enemy with it. Note; rig that sumb!^@% like a Highlander if you want to limp back off the field.
@@larryy5166 5 MPLs, 4 jump jets, maxed armor, an LFE 180, and three non-engine DHS. Runs at 100 kph, can fly long distances, and hit you in the face for 30 damage every 3 seconds. Did we mention the three free tons of armor it gets? URBANMECH!
Hey, I'm lookin' for Marauder parts. Not the new crap, the.. um... classic ones. Yah, classic. Look, I'm willin' to pay a good amount of C-bills, more if you keep it on the down low. I don't need heat from the HG. Comstar? Hell no, I wish it was them. Look, I don't wanna say their name, cuz they're always listenin'. Wait, you working for the Gold? No, no, deals off, this ain't right. I'm out! You damn bastard ain't taking me like you did my warhammer! Thats right! It has a giant flashlight on it, AND IT WILL STAY THAT WAY YOU LITIGATING TIME VAMPIRES!
Especially if it's a key chain in the form of an actually working urbie with a tiny 2mm blank-firing AC/10 scaled to size with a left arm laser pointer piloted with a phone app ;)
Nailed the taste of IPA to the DOT. I cannot fathom how those became popular. Worst of all is if you're near a city the liquor stores flood themselves with it instead of nice, smooth malts/draghts/ports/ales/lagers/etc. Because fuck me I dunno. Hierarchical evidence that people's sense of taste has been all but destroyed.
yall miss a good pun moment with the catapult. "By 2 catapults from me and ill throw in this wooden catapult (trebuchet) so you can Insults as well as missiles at your opponent.)
My favorite two are Uncle Bucky's Urban Mech Emporium and Star League Auto. I'm unironically wanting Urban Mechs and Rotundas now. The commercials were effective, funny and inspired a couple ideas that may turn into a Battletech campaign for a group of friends and I.
It has that car wars vibe to it. I'd buy it just so I can give a hint to those disspossed kuritans to fudge off while I go to a convienence store. I'm getting tired of getting into firefights just to get snacks.
Hi i'm from Comstar and we are happy to announce you have won a luxury cruise just go to the old spaceport next to the old incinerator complex on Van Zant to receive your prize
It makes it impressive that I once managed to destroy ComStar in the RPG once by becoming a dictator of a small stellar domain, taking all their corporate assets in my territory, fighting off their invasion attempts with my overpowered group of space bros, and then setting up a completely legitimate, cheaper, and more effective alternative company and then deprived them of all their sales. TLDR, I beat ComStar with STONKS.
I wanted to come back to this video because of the live chat reminded me of the old PnP Mechwarrior RPG. Then I thought of Discount Dan and remembered all the games where the players all became "Discount Dan". It was the 3rd Successor War period and tech was rare and mechs almost out of production. So what does the players who started out as mercs and robot-jocks end up? That's right "Discount Dan's Used Mech Parts". They would loot things and even one named their Mech "One Piece at a Time". They looted so much and got so good at stripping downed mechs (even on the side that hired them) and skedaddling in their dropship that you'd think they were Jawas. Ahh good Times. Discount Dan's Used Mech Parts, because all you gotta do is toss out the body and start cutting. All those good servos, and weapons, and armor.. and oh what is this?! I always wanted an upgraded power-plant. Yup. They even stopped being mercs and started being merchants instead.. Discount Dan's Used Mech Parts, Mobile Edition.
I would pay good money for that game if it was made. Honestly, one playing selling mechs of various quality to pilots instead of being one yourself is an interesting idea, if done right.
@@frankg2790 it’s got teeth honestly and the idea of selling parts to the clans and the Capellan Confederation and the baggage of the reputations that would bring you tickles my fancy
Discount Dan, do you know a good place that I can pick up a nice used Commando for my kid? he's about to go on his first pirate hunting sortie and I ... well lets just say his mother's a distant Steiner relation, and while I hope he'll stick to his scouting role, I'd like something that can still core a decent sized mech with a SRM/rocket pod Volley.
I'm torn between muttering, "What the hell did I just watch?" and falling off my chair in a fit of uncontrolled laughter. In the end, I opted for both; being split in two should never be a reasonable option. :/
the Discount Dan opening,.. is.. Amazing! Edit: posted too soon. The Urbanmech bit wins the day! Double edit: Well, F..., die like a beeatch is the winner...for now. Dangit, I need to start waiting to see the whole video before posting,,, Ugh.. Okay, the Comstar bit reminds me of when I used to work for Scientologists - and no, that's not a joke.
@The More you Notice Wow you're optimistic, imagine thinking that the dystopian hell we live in will ever collapse. Sorry fucko but the only escape is the sweet embrace of death.
@@GhostBear3067 more like we're living under the (indirect) influence/control of several oligarchies of corporations, not yet under the direct control *and* influence of a single, all-powerful one like Comstar. Oh, and post-Covid, the whole system is imploding at a very slow, but steady rate, so there's that, I guess. But hey, at least said corpo-oligarchs aren't using fucking clowns to advertise their grip on us. Yet.
Wow terminus est insurance lol, that was my mw3 and 4 call sign for 20 years. Haha. And the gluger lol! Still had the waffen stamp on the barrel when saying america lol
I mean, 40K is nice and all, but Battletech is an inevitable and catastrophic future I can really get behind...
Plus, there's Urban Mechs.
Battletech is something deeper from an older era of writing. its why I like it.
What gets me is the Gluger ad, because damn me-if you replaced the Gluger with a burger or a truck and stopped at the eagle shooting lazor beems, it'd be exactly what you can see on commercial breaks.
"Shit, run! But not too fast - it's only an Urbanmech." XD
I gotta say, I'm 100% sold on a terminus est insurance policy
Same for me :-D
@@vencaS81 Yup, where do I signup?
@@meatybtz I guess we will have to make it ourselves.
Absolutely.
I need a Terminus est insurance policy. That seems like a fantastic investment!
*Nobody buys a Hunchback.*
I buy all three dozen and equip them Arrow IVs.
A psycho after my own heart.
Why the Hunchback hate and what are Arrow IVs?
@@stephendrobinski2426 Artillery Missiles. One missile deals 40 Damage over a very large radius.
@@stephendrobinski2426 Arrow IV is a missile artillery system, and I don't think it's hate so much as a joke about how many variants there are, 18 factory variants, not to mention even Clanners have Hunchbacks.
Screw arrows i'd equip every last one of them with a thumper.
Last time I was this early Venus was still a paradise world. (Thanks Amaris, you bib wearing freak.)
Last time I was this early... no, I'm a Urbanmech, I can't really be early
MWO has turbo Urbies! You can configure them into... badly armed mediums!
The way for your Urbanmech to at least arrive early and get one kill. Use a military transport to fly it over the battlefield and bomb an enemy with it. Note; rig that sumb!^@% like a Highlander if you want to limp back off the field.
@@larryy5166 5 MPLs, 4 jump jets, maxed armor, an LFE 180, and three non-engine DHS. Runs at 100 kph, can fly long distances, and hit you in the face for 30 damage every 3 seconds. Did we mention the three free tons of armor it gets? URBANMECH!
@@Grimmwoldds and this is ON TOP of it's low profile making it effectively impossible to get off clean shots!
Last time I was this early I was piloting a battledroid.
After all the memes, I just now noticed the Gluger upper has a Waffenamt...
Thanks BPL!
Hey, I'm lookin' for Marauder parts. Not the new crap, the.. um... classic ones. Yah, classic. Look, I'm willin' to pay a good amount of C-bills, more if you keep it on the down low. I don't need heat from the HG. Comstar? Hell no, I wish it was them.
Look, I don't wanna say their name, cuz they're always listenin'. Wait, you working for the Gold? No, no, deals off, this ain't right. I'm out! You damn bastard ain't taking me like you did my warhammer! Thats right! It has a giant flashlight on it, AND IT WILL STAY THAT WAY YOU LITIGATING TIME VAMPIRES!
An Urban Mech key chain would be so f'ing sweet.
Especially if it's a key chain in the form of an actually working urbie with a tiny 2mm blank-firing AC/10 scaled to size with a left arm laser pointer piloted with a phone app ;)
The current owners of the game should have an urbanmech pack of minis to sell. Each one in the Lance a different variant.
These are goddamn fucking hilarious, never stop Tex and co!
That is the best version of blade runner ever.
It's all so beautiful!
Termina Est Insurance is just awesome (and funny)
I wonder...how much for the 'Die Hard' package?
Welcome to the party, Pal
Whenever I ask if I am being detained, they always say yes.
Love these commercials
Discount Dan's face is so... trustworthy...
Also, I love the Hunchback! Man... where's the Hunchback love! Strap a Gauss Rifle on that thing, watch'm all lose arms, legs, etc.
Nailed the taste of IPA to the DOT.
I cannot fathom how those became popular. Worst of all is if you're near a city the liquor stores flood themselves with it instead of nice, smooth malts/draghts/ports/ales/lagers/etc.
Because fuck me I dunno. Hierarchical evidence that people's sense of taste has been all but destroyed.
I'm called out, I'm literally chilling with an IPA right now.
yall miss a good pun moment with the catapult. "By 2 catapults from me and ill throw in this wooden catapult (trebuchet) so you can Insults as well as missiles at your opponent.)
They suppressed them because they thought they were real adverts or something?!
yes
@@theblackpantslegion WTF!?
I'm dying, it so funny. I love the 20 ton car bit.
"And is that a god dam nuke"
oh my gods im going to piss myself laughing !
IPA's taste like semi composted lawn clippings.
Love you guys!
Something gotta be wrong with those hunchbacks. You can never stock enough Hunchbacks.
I still say that SOMONE is going to make a GLOOGER and we are going to blame you for it.
The Gluger is cursed, I want one
I'm 30 minutes away from Uncle Bechy's Urbanmech Emporium. Guess it's cheaper then buying a new car!
ohh I've been looking for a pretty good robot
Love this.
THANKS.
Fuck UA-cam, this shit is hilarious! 🤣
love it........
I want the name of the kazoo song
And remember UA-cam oh sorry COMSTAR see all hear all and pay yours bills
who wouldn't buy hunchbacks?
Some volume equalisation wouldn't have gone amiss ... jus' sayin'
IPAs are nasty. They taste like pine cones. I prefer a nice dark stout!
Must go to discount Dan's
Video not suppressed, tex fails again, well we all get to be wrong 5 times in our lifetime.
Ew, glock.
Who is the hot chick at 5:05?
My favorite two are Uncle Bucky's Urban Mech Emporium and Star League Auto.
I'm unironically wanting Urban Mechs and Rotundas now. The commercials were effective, funny and inspired a couple ideas that may turn into a Battletech campaign for a group of friends and I.
If you make vidoes about the ensuing shenanigans, I will sub.
"...across from Uncle Bucky's, and is that God-damned nuke?"
@@tranz2deep It's all in how you say it. 'Cause he says it less "OMG IS THAT A NUKE?" and more like "GOD DAMNIT BUCKY WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!"
Man, that 20 ton car with nuclear engine and large laser is super tempting...
I definitely want one.
Was that a car or a Locust with wheels?
It has an SRM 2, but if you don't mind shutting down a bit more often you could easily swap in an SRM 4
It has that car wars vibe to it. I'd buy it just so I can give a hint to those disspossed kuritans to fudge off while I go to a convienence store. I'm getting tired of getting into firefights just to get snacks.
Don’t forget it has one ton of Ferro Fibrous armor. You could sacrifice the SRM2 and ammo for more armor or a medium laser and heat sink.
The "I saw some white ships" joke always makes me crack up.
Hi i'm from Comstar and we are happy to announce you have won a luxury cruise just go to the old spaceport next to the old incinerator complex on Van Zant to receive your prize
Its a tra
@@berndoggler37 traAAMING GOOD TIME! A right TRAMING good time, as they say in the Deep Periphery. ;D
It's a reference to the Vandenburg White Wings, a mysterious group of white ships sighted occasionally out in the Deep Periphery.
I'm so early the SLDF still contracted the catapult.
Not the 'Mech; an actual catapult.
The ComStar clown bit is pure hilarity! As a Com Guard player I quote it every time me and my buddies play.
Reminds me of... well, just plain Comcast really.
I do not care what anyone else says, that ComStar clown is 100% canon in universe.
It makes it impressive that I once managed to destroy ComStar in the RPG once by becoming a dictator of a small stellar domain, taking all their corporate assets in my territory, fighting off their invasion attempts with my overpowered group of space bros, and then setting up a completely legitimate, cheaper, and more effective alternative company and then deprived them of all their sales.
TLDR, I beat ComStar with STONKS.
Pay your bills, fucko!
I wanted to come back to this video because of the live chat reminded me of the old PnP Mechwarrior RPG. Then I thought of Discount Dan and remembered all the games where the players all became "Discount Dan". It was the 3rd Successor War period and tech was rare and mechs almost out of production. So what does the players who started out as mercs and robot-jocks end up? That's right "Discount Dan's Used Mech Parts". They would loot things and even one named their Mech "One Piece at a Time". They looted so much and got so good at stripping downed mechs (even on the side that hired them) and skedaddling in their dropship that you'd think they were Jawas. Ahh good Times. Discount Dan's Used Mech Parts, because all you gotta do is toss out the body and start cutting. All those good servos, and weapons, and armor.. and oh what is this?! I always wanted an upgraded power-plant. Yup. They even stopped being mercs and started being merchants instead.. Discount Dan's Used Mech Parts, Mobile Edition.
I would pay good money for that game if it was made. Honestly, one playing selling mechs of various quality to pilots instead of being one yourself is an interesting idea, if done right.
@@frankg2790 it’s got teeth honestly and the idea of selling parts to the clans and the Capellan Confederation and the baggage of the reputations that would bring you tickles my fancy
Discount Dan, do you know a good place that I can pick up a nice used Commando for my kid? he's about to go on his first pirate hunting sortie and I ... well lets just say his mother's a distant Steiner relation, and while I hope he'll stick to his scouting role, I'd like something that can still core a decent sized mech with a SRM/rocket pod Volley.
Holy shit I really want that Terminus Est Insurance. Would really consider getting one when I eventually get the beetus and multiple organ failures.
“Or maybe it was a neurohelmet malfunction”
Gets me every damn time.
> says Gun Jesus
> picture is not Ian McCollum
Hmmm... 🤔
I don't want to get sued.
Tex/Forgotten weapons crossover when?
I'm actually sure Karl would like it
@@Greaselburger between never and unlikely. You forget, I'm a nobody.
@@theblackpantslegion so was Ian a few years ago :)
I seriously doubt Ian would sue you. In fact I'm sure he would get a kick out of it.
"Resistance is expensive. You will be morgaged. Your assets will be distributed in a way benefiting Comstar."
I ended up watching this 5 times back to back, becuase my 8 year old daughter thinks Dan is honestly the most hilarious spokesperson alive.
If they can do a mech commercial with the energy of oxyclean guy from the 90s and early 2000s, RIP dude, I think it has potential.
I'm torn between muttering, "What the hell did I just watch?" and falling off my chair in a fit of uncontrolled laughter. In the end, I opted for both; being split in two should never be a reasonable option. :/
Discount Dan selling mechs sounds about right.
So did the consequences.
Okay, the kill me like a badass insurance...
...that's fucking BADASS.
Somebody really needs to start a real service like that!!
My favorite is the Comstar Clown. Just has me laughing every time!
I do not care what anyone says, that ComStar clown is canon!!
What does comstar have on John Oliver. Those poor children. Do they belong to comstar now? Oh no were those the kids of some his employees on his sho
I've seen this a hundred times and IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY TIME I WATCH IT!
I can’t think of that movie now without the voice of cancer mouse going off in my head and saying “Oh hey civvie!”
"Nobody buys Hunchbacks"
Well maybe if you weren't pushing the boring model without the hunch...
last time this early, there was still a star leauge
the Discount Dan opening,.. is.. Amazing!
Edit: posted too soon. The Urbanmech bit wins the day!
Double edit: Well, F..., die like a beeatch is the winner...for now. Dangit, I need to start waiting to see the whole video before posting,,,
Ugh.. Okay, the Comstar bit reminds me of when I used to work for Scientologists - and no, that's not a joke.
I'm glad you used past tense.
Honestly the editing stream of conciousness is also entertaining.
You just have to love the Space Wizzards and Comstar Customerservice.
@Comstar: Space AT&T Well Im still waiting for the golden age to happen and then for thwe inevetiable shitshow to start so... guess im just too old.
I'm dead. 😂
Maybe we should call Comstar "Space Google".
Unfair comparison
Comstar is actually competent most of the time
@@theomnissiah-9120 True dat.
I’ve had an ipa 🤮🤮🤮🤮
WHO BREWS A BEER WITH GRAPE FRUIT
Hipsters do.
@@elijahgrimm8052 You mean evolutionary dead ends.
This belongs on the Church of the Sub-Genius Facebook page.
I love these commercials, everyone who worked on these is just awesome!
basically we ARE living in a comstar world now
scary
It is not that bad, yet.
@The More you Notice Wow you're optimistic, imagine thinking that the dystopian hell we live in will ever collapse.
Sorry fucko but the only escape is the sweet embrace of death.
@@GhostBear3067 more like we're living under the (indirect) influence/control of several oligarchies of corporations, not yet under the direct control *and* influence of a single, all-powerful one like Comstar.
Oh, and post-Covid, the whole system is imploding at a very slow, but steady rate, so there's that, I guess.
But hey, at least said corpo-oligarchs aren't using fucking clowns to advertise their grip on us. Yet.
Nah, that'll only if Trump gets re-elected.
This is magnificent. Praise Goob.
What the fuck is goob...
Who wrote this?!?! I'm goddamned Duncan Fischer!
Side corn fan are ya?
Terminus Est Insurance is fantastic.
And metal as fuck!
Uncle Bucky's Urbanmech Emporium. LOL! Thanks Tex & friends
think there are any urbanmechs left in uncle Buck's crater?
Nah. Discount Dan got the parts shipped to him.
No Step on Snek needs to be a default paint job for all UrbanMechs, with Wizards fighting Dragons.
amen
Aw come on. Philippines has some good quality control.......sorta.
Waitaminute... Doctor Glock exists in two universes?
You had me sold on that Insurance one.
Does the Gluger have assault cup holders?
The last time I was this early Warships were still a thing.
God damn it that comstar commercial is just so perfect...
Jesus christ, the Rotunda one got me like a bitch! I loved the Discount Dan ones too!
I'd trust my messages to comstar, they are getting that info out of me one way or another.
4:58 Did you day GLOCK CHAIN?
Boys, what the hell is wrong with you?....
Please keep up the good work and insanity.
Am I wrong to want a Gluger? it actually looks pretty neat. :)
Tex, I threw my money at the screen and Terminus Est still hasn't written me an insurance policy. Shut up and take my money!
These clips are of a higher quality than they have any right to be.
Not Urbanmech and Urbanmech accessories?
I'll take two Glugers.
Last time I was this early, clan wolf was still using the woodsman
4:15 you mean Iain Mcullum from Forgotten Weapons?🤣
Fucking Hilarious !!!
Oh Shit is that a Damned NUKE !!!
Beautiful. Comstar clown always makes me lose my shit
Is it bad that I want Terminus Est Insurance for realsies?
@Goat I'm not doing that again... Cops asked WAY too many questions last time.
The sad thing is that bird screaming is not a bald eagle. Its a red tailed hawk.
Its a movie trope
Wow terminus est insurance lol, that was my mw3 and 4 call sign for 20 years. Haha. And the gluger lol! Still had the waffen stamp on the barrel when saying america lol
Terminus Est Insurance? Take my damn money!!!!
I want to die in a blaze of glory with cocan at my feet with two bloody katanas in my hands