The pressure imposed by society and its rules upon individuals lead to the denial of their own truth. It is never their fault! They deserve support and not recrimination. Well done Ryan!
True but equally risky now are parts of society doing the opposite of oppressing and instead trying to get involved and introducing to young gay people that the way out is transitioning instead of people just working things out for themselves. I'm not saying it is being sold that way, but for a young person with no answers, simply because they have not yet adjusted, it is a much easier reach. This is additionally concerning when the number of young people who start to investigate transition, who have an additional diagnosable mental condition is staggering, close to 60% making many particularly vulnerable.
Coming out for me has been a process, not an event. At 85, I think the hardest part is the internal homophobia. It is an issue I continue to struggle with. Most people in my life have taken the information much better than I have. lol
Internalized homophobia is like pushing a fully loaded baggage trolley up a hill, decade after decade, only to reach the terminus and discover not a single bag bears your name. It’s tragic to realize in your dotage that the burdens you’ve carried for a lifetime never actually belonged to you. Where a regret-free montage of satisfying memories should reside there are mostly lingering insecurities planted long ago in a supple young mind by a majority of the majority.
Honestly, I can’t stand the fact that I have same sex attraction. I’m in my 50s and no one in my life knows. I’m sure some have speculated but there’s no proof. It’s weird with me though. I have zero attraction to females physically or emotionally. With guys, I only have physical attraction but am not interested in being in an emotional relationship with a guy. Therefore, I’m single and have never been in any type of emotional relationship ever. I want to love and be loved but when I imagine what that looks like, I can’t project an image because neither gender fills that role for me. It’s a screwed up life that is very lonely.
I’m almost at a loss for words. All of us experience such trauma, when, in fact, we’re innocent, totally innocent. Thank heaven the trauma, the anguish gives us strength. I’m old enough to be your father and it pains me to think that boys and young men of your generation are still suffering from the cr*p that society dumps on us. You’ve done the right thing, young man, you’ve remained true to yourself. I salute you; I congratulate you. I wish you the very best.
You are perfect as God created you. Love yourself first then all falls into place. I am a 77 yo gay man who struggled coming out in the 1970s. It gets easier.
Wow, it seems a number of the comments are relatively recent! I simply concur with what's been said. The heteronormative and conservative religious worldviews have done and still does do damage and creates trauma to many and prevents them from being their authentic selves!!! Bless you and others Ryan, for being the beautiful and real man you are!!!
I think this is one of the most moving coming out stories: stoically telling us the terrible pain and danger of not accepting and loving yourself first, and realising that people close to you also didn't. I hope they have accepted you now and realise what hell you went through and that you didn't want to hurt others. Wishing you the happy life you deserve brother.
Ryan is the type who triggers homophobes. They can cope with the camp end of the spectrum as they feel able to consider them as not ‘men’ but more ‘inter sex’ ie ‘less than manly’ When a man as conventionally masculine and incredibly handsome as Ryan comes along and reveals his homosexuality it terrifies them.
It will terrify a man who, like more than a few men, has man crushes/same sex attractions and experiences crushing shame and self-loathing for it. He can point to a campy or fem guy and say to himself 'I'm not like that so I can't be 'gay'. It may be 2024 but as a species we're still in the dark ages around this stuff. At 67 I've had a lot of life experiences in cultures around the world. Whether San Francisco or Tehran men are the same. I've learned that, in spite of conventional thinking, the most rugged and confident alpha males are the most likely to engage or desire to engage with other men intimately. This guy is just the tip of a very large iceberg and I celebrate him for his courage.
@@kw6382 very well put. Media representation is still dominated by stereotypes ( high pitched laugh, Judy Garland fan, fashion and fabrics etc) The Ryans of this World are a much needed redress of the balance and if he is an unsettling presence for those men ill at ease about their own sexual identity, then so be it.
My gosh, Ryan, you amaze me with the courage you display relating your personal difficult journey. In doing so…..you, my friend, make a discernible difference….and I can’t for a moment believe that it is a difference only to me. Thank you, thank, thank you for sharing!
Live your life bro. No issues. If you live your life authentically, you help others live their lives freely. The truth shall set you free. Your personal truth, if you live it, will set you free. I came out 40 years ago, and it made my life SO much better. Prayers and support to you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
What a terrific testimony to authentic life, to truth, and humanity. To endure the suffering of self loathing, doubt, fear, alienation and loneliness and fight for your own integrity is a tremendous accolade to James.. I have nothing but admiration for him and thank him for telling his story. That he had to endure this is an indictment of a society, a community that is centred on hatred and spiritual violence. From this short video I can see that he will know fulfilment and that he really deserves it. Thanks ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. You appear to be a genuine, honest, and courageous individual. Everyone in your life should be grateful to have you in their lives.
It was a hard journey. My husband and I were both married in straight relationships. We both had to go through the journey of self-acceptance, and learning to be true to ourselves. We are now also both QHHT Hypnotherapy practitioners and understand it was a Soul journey. Going inwards and aligning with who you truly are regardless of the views of religious people is vital. Doing the inner work of healing and transformation is our responsibility. Allowing our wives to go and find happiness is the best gift we can give them.
Such kind hearted soul. You can tell the experience of coming out , was really hard for him. Each journey of coming out are similar but everyone is it’s own story. I truly hope he happier now. ❤
I’m lucky I guess because I’ve never felt guilt or shame for my nature. I know many guys have really struggled with this but it’s good to know that it’s a lot easier now than decades ago when homosexuality was considered an illness that could be cured which of course was totally nonsense. You are a great guy Ryan to speak openly about who you are and your experience.
I just came through similar circumstances so I can totally get all of the feelings you experienced. Good for you for making the change in your life. Stay positive and look to a bright future. Cheers.
Ryan, listening to you has given me courage to deal with this issue myself. You are a really cool guy. It takes a lot of strength and courage to share your story, and if you can do it, I know I can too. Thank you and I hope all good things for you.
It's been said that before you come out to others, you first have to come out to yourself. That happened to me at 29. I talked to someone at 30. To my complete surprise, he was experiencing the exact same things. We ended up in a beautiful bromance. Talk to someone you trust. You are not alone.
I did the same thing as an adolescent and young teenager. I just withdrew and stop communicating or being friends with anyone. Some adults expressed their concern but I never ever felt that it would be safe to tell anyone what was truly wrong. I felt entirely alone and believed I would be for the rest of my life. It took me a long time to realize that growing gay in a homophobic society is a form of child abuse.
Yeah I’m proud of you for going public with this I will tell you as a 63-year-old man who is married and has children and grandchildren I just came out to my family not even 10 years ago and it has been rough but it’s been more my own mental struggle than my friends and family accepting me, which I think is often the case. When someone even indicates that that if someone’s gay or different did they choose to be that way they just don’t know how wrong they are you are chosen you do not choose.
A lot of society wants everyone to be 'one size fits all' and the reality is that it's not that way. Labels don't help the situation. I had a similar experience to Ryan, in that, everyone wanted the same thing for me: what they wanted me to be. But it took til I was about 33 and met, what is now my other half, for him telling me: 'there's nothing wrong with you the way you are, and if others don't like that, that's their problem - not yours' for me to finally be at peace. And we've been together now pushing 24 years. You are wired the way you are, and the sooner that you figure that out for yourself in life, the happier you can be. There's nothing better than living your authentic life.
Similar experience from a different time with no support from family or anyone else. Now that I am on the other side I am happy but its been a long muddy pot hole filled rough road. I always knew my depression originated from societal expectations and was not something I caused or owned but rather something I experienced. It did screw up my life and I wish it could have been better but that was not in the cards for me. Now that I am in my mid 60's the opportunity for a happy healthy relationship (the gay community has its own issues with youth being one of them) has passed but I am good with that as this is how my life was meant to unfold. Hopefully if I get to do this again I can do it right the next time.
I just stumbled across this video. Please keep making videos like this. I came out to my wife at age 62 for exactly the same reasons Ryan gives. I have always been on the effeminate side, but even so I relate totally to his story, and so do many of the gay men I know. I need to hear about other men's pain in order to realize I'm not just in a tiny, isolated group of men clinging to our faith in Christ while people around us are telling us we are going to hell. It's something many of us are going through.
This channel has only four videos, all made 5 years ago. James has clearly moved on. But with all due respect, I don't understand why any of us still 'cling to our faith' when that's what condemned us in the first place.
@@DDumbrille Jesus Christ never condemned Homsexuality/same sex attraction. He reinforced the concept of marriage, and was killed because he challenged old Testament concepts. Many gay men love Christ, and he shall judge them, not you or I.
Not in a marriage myself, thank God, but yes, the Church, Social Medica (Today) and Homophobia in School, Family, Brothers, etc....if so, all the thorns, spikes and obstacles in our life the makes us so courageous to still follow our deep path to what you know is the truth. Such a struggle is not shared in most. Not always a happy story, but people still live in this Mental prison, with marriage, kids and job...and it is a miserable life I would think, as I saw it play out in many co-workers as well. God Bless ya for sharing, and letting it out for us with your hard experience.
I am suffering in silence. I had a sobbing episode yesterday, and today I have to go on and pretend that everything is fine and dandy. It seems like friends and family don' t want to hear about it. You're not alone. But, I am. There you go. Being honest.
I hope everything goes well for you. I understand what you are feeling. I am not out to my family and it is hard to talk about it to many of my friend that even know I am gay. If it comforts you, as a Christian believer myself, I'll say a prayer for you so you can have some consolation and peace. I wish you the best. Never give up. Live could be a great saga if we intend to make it one. I wish you the best. Peace.
@@alonsoracine2191 Thanks. That's very sweet. I find beauty in life, in people, in books, in travelling; all things that distract me. I've been very fortunate. The only thing missing is someone to share it with. That's all. That's what I grapple with. We have to accept what life has in store for you and make the best of it.
There is nothing wrong with you. You must come out to yourself and realize that this is what the Cosmos want's for you; your attractions, your choice of whom to love, and to be a good man. May Jesus Christ be with you; only He knows what's in your heart, not us, and remember that Christ was killed because he bucked the system and challenged Old Testament concepts.
Great testimony, Sir, you describe so well how you weren't allowed by your environment to love and see yourself, true to your nature. I wish you so much that you shake off all doubts and feelings of guilt, as you are already so empathic to those to whom you couldn't be true, because you had been brought up not to be it to yourself. You are lovable in every single way, you don't need to prove anything to anybody. Pleaes take good care of your wellbeing and the blossoming of your precious life. Thank you again for sharing! Hans
If it helps you to put a label on your sexuality - I am this or I am that - then do it. If it does not help you to use labels - then do not do it. We are all very complex beings, evolving during our whole life. Have you been the same person through your whole life? Of course not. You are free to explore and live your life in all areas in your own way.
This Video is Sad. I wish I could be there to hug him, and let him know. I have been there. And then Give him a Portuguese Tight Hug so he knows there are many of us who dealt with that. You have a New Sub :)
GOOD FOR YOU for coming out! Living a full honest life is the best we can do. I was truly brought out when a girlfriend I was seeing turned to me in the car and said: "Jeff. You need to be honest with yourself." Then she walked into her apartment. My father told me when we were having a conversation when he was in his 90s that he and my mother had known I was gay when I was 5 years old. They totally accepted me, but knew I would have a difficult life. They were correct. But one cannot deny one's nature, and there you have it. You are young and handsome and have your whole life before you. Throw away the past and enjoy life!
Honesty is always the best policy. I nearly got married when I was 21, I am now 62. I had to be true to myself and admit that I was gay. I called it off 6 weeks before and the fall out was horrendous. Both families were Irish Catholic and the guilt that came with that was enormous. But I could not go through with a wedding, knowing that I would 'cheat' further down the line. It took it's toll, but I am happy and healthy and wish the same for you. In time you will come to terms with the situation and realise that you have made the best decision for all concerned. Lots of luck to you for a great future ahead.
Similar story here Ryan. 43 when I came out to myself. So grateful that I am still around today. Special relationship with my former wife and adult son. Been with the most extraordinary man for 7 years, married to him for 2. Here’s to finding the other side of the canyon.
Tell that to my family who thinks I'm sick and demented and mentally ill etc. that's why I haven't spoken to them in 20 years. Northern Alberta Canada still has a sick disgusting attitude towards gay people which is based on religion and fear and they are not going to change their mind
Hi Gary, I recently found an article that I found helpful. “Why No-Contact Families Are Becoming a New Norm” by Mark Travers PhD I hope this helps. I should have done this to my own family years ago! No contact is abundantly healthy! Cheers, I hope this helps. Greg (You can google the title)
When I came out gay it was tough because it was the late eighties and I was only 22 years old and people were very close-minded still. But nowadays if I would have came out it would have been a lot easier and a lot of accepting.
Ryan: My wife and I met when she was five and I was eight, when we attended the same school, and she fell from a slide and broke her arm, and I took her to the school office for help. But I was reluctant to leave her. She was only known to me as that little blond girl. And I was only known to her as the tall boy with dark hair. I wouldn’t see her again for ten years. Our families moved. And we met on a blind date, when she was sixteen and I was nineteen, totally unaware, and not remembering, our previous experience. When all I saw was: What eyes. We wouldn’t remember, or even realize, we went to the same school, until years into our married. But unbeknown to me, she’d decided on that playground that I was the one, even if she never saw me again. But I had to realize, and admit to her, that I was gay, ten years into our marriage, after years of self-analysis and therapy, that I wasn’t just contending with the aftermath of abuse. We stayed married for another ten years. I kept to the course of my Air Force career. And we raised three wonderful kids. We were always at our best when things were at their worst, but we couldn’t weather the discloser. And I’ve wondered, at times, if I shouldn’t have told her. But I’d rather let go of the illusion we were, than live with her in a lie. We divorced at 20 years. She refers to it as when I tore life apart. I understand your struggle. And I’m writing to tell you, we both went on to do things we wouldn’t have been able to do, otherwise. She became a critical care nurse. And I wrote a path into human manifesting. This isn’t all there is to life. There were others before it. And there’ll be others after it. All the people we love are there. Without bounds, limitations, or labels. Where the only name we’re known by is who we are. You didn’t make a mistake. I know you.
Telling your wife that you love must be the hardest part of coming out and admitting who you really are. Watching her world crumble and knowing it’s your fault must be soul destroying, but to live a lie and know that the person she loves does not exist can only be torture. It will hurt at first but she deserves someone to be honest and love her the way she loves him. I hope Ryan knows he has done the best thing for her and has no regrets.
This is the exact reason sex education at school must include discussions about being gay. There are so many kids that just don't understand what they are feeling. They know they are different, but in a way that makes them feel wrong. We need to tell our kids they are perfectly normal and fine and God has made us all. Not just them, all of us. We are loved by God and I don't believe in a God that wouldn't want love for all of us. Please quite clinging to what man calls the word of God and religion. Man himself has written the Bible and his interpretation of what he believed. Haven't we grown us humans to have the common sense to understand science and that we are all born unique. We should celebrate that, but even more, stop the persecutions. Educate those that are ignorant.
I'm a psychologist. I refer to a "readiness" factor when people have reached a better time in their lives but are still somewhat bothered by it seeming to take so long to get there. It's a main thing left to face, but sometimes acceptance can involve just realizing not having been ready earlier in life. It's a kindly way of dealing with things where you can't literally go back, but you can go back in your mind to rethink it. I think of when I was in my doctoral program where I had a classmate who had a mug with a saying on it, "It's never too late to have a happy childhood." The proof that you've done it for further growth is in a sense of relief, avoiding similar mistakes, and doing better and better into the future.
I love your comment, sir. Well said and may Spirit guide you and your knowledge. "It's never too late to have a happy childhood"... I will be stealing that saying.
Hi Ryan. I grew up in the same village as Susan Boyle where i was bullied as a teenager. I became afraid to leave my house. Then one day i got brave enough to start the local college - where i past all i needed to get to university in Edinburgh. I moved to Edinburgh and never went back to live in Blackburn West Lothian. I was near thinking of killing my self in Blackburn but then had the time of my life at university and thank the bullies for making me leave. You, please take good care of yourself x P.S I have the same colour of eyes as you.
Screw what society thinks!!! THANK GOD I gave myself the FREEDOM to NOT CARE what anyone else thought about me - THEY sure as hell aren't paying MY bills!!! BEST GIFT I ever received!!! NO GUILT or SHAME ~~ very UNPRODUCTIVE and NEGATIVE emotions that serve NO PURPOSE!!!!! 🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
We are all evolving creatures. Some realize their certain truths later in life than others. You can’t fault yourself for following the prescribed “social pattern” and then later finding out that pattern isn’t YOUR pattern. I hope your ex was kind enough to let you go with your newfound awareness and allow you to discover love elsewhere. That doesn’t mean you DON’T care for her or love her, but you do in a different way. Don’t beat yourself up for discovering YOUR truth and forging your own path according to that truth.
Like I said to a friend, “stop living a lie just to make others happy at your own miserable expense, start living the truth, a happy YOU!” Family is what you want you want it to be, not what it wants you to be. I was more than happy to walk away from “family” because when you have nothing, you feel nothing and so you walk away from nothing with everything you own! Was the best thing I ever did.
Omg. I can imagine how hard to be married to a woman & knowing you’re gay As you said you kinda knew inside you that gay feeling. My opinion is, the religion makes us feel we’re not normal . Lucky me I realized that early age inspite of my families are very religious, i knew myself more than anybody else. GF / Fiancé not a problem but I said , sorry I can’t do it & set them free. Now I’m retired & happy but play a little still 😝 life is wonderful . ❤️🙏
Oh dear, yet again through this clip we see the tentacles of religion working its negativity on young gay men. The problem with engendering self loathing at such a young age is that it can leave scars which can surface again many years later. I only hope that this brave man will not suffer any of those consequences. For my part I was raised an orthodox Catholic, but I began asking questions about the faith at about 11 or 12, so by the time my sexuality began to assert itself, religion had already begun to loosen its hold. It still took time to shrug off the conditioning but when I started to campaign for equality in the 70s the fire then in my belly was great for my self esteem. Now I'm just plain angry at belief systems that harness young men with an unbearable load which they expect them to bear throughout life.
01:38 What's with the music coming in, and the guiltier he feels, the louder the music? So cheesy. But this guy is perfection. He's got everything, quite a catch for a lucky man.
I don't understand why some people make it so complicated. My attraction towards same sex (men) was pretty strong and very obvious for as long as I can remember, I'd say when I was 8 years old. Conversation about homosexuality was not all common, but if I was asked today when I knew I was gay, the answer is easy.... from the minute I began to experience feelings of attraction towards another human being, in my case when I was 8. Never understood why some gay guys would say... oh I only found out in high school, or after a few broken marriages. Cmon now.
Dear Ryan. A message? Carry on as you are - and as you are becoming. Honest. Authentic. Humility. Solid. Formed and growing. being. Knowing. Good stuff. Be ready. Ready to receive the good. I was with my wife ten years before it collapsed. Guilt destroyed me. Gave her all I had. House pension etc. Nothing mattered - and she in part helped by not forgiving. Wanting more. When there wasn't more. Thirty five years ago. Nobody to talk to. Different days. Being in a church - they didn't understand. No one wanted to talk. So out. Then encounter. Out of the blue. And now together and married for 22 years. That means facing the world together. Two of us. Wishing you that 'out of the blue; time - if it hasn't already happened........T.
I dont feel the need to tell anyone or come out. I dont have friends, have never dated, and i dont think i am capable of love or loving anyone. I am doing ok so far.
You don't have to say anything to anyone- But - you must come out to yourself and realize that despite what anyone says God loves you and only He is the ultimate judge. Love yourself bro, and the friends will come. You don't need to say shit to anyone, but love yourself.
Thank you Ryan. There are questions about Burt Lancaster's sexual orientation. Northern Irish men are incredible. Burton Stephen Lancaster (November 2, 1913 - October 20, 1994) was an American actor. Initially known for playing tough guys with a tender heart, he went on to achieve success with more complex and challenging roles over a 45-year career in films and television series. All four of his grandparents were emigrants from Ireland to the United States, from the province of Ulster.
You're a good looking guy! Me personally was about to propose but broke up instead. Still regret it though it was 7 years ago. Every day I ask myself if it was inevitable... Good luck and all the best to you!
Why do people need to label themselves in terms of their sexual expression? Why can't we all be who we are and express who we are without labels? We are far more than our sexual choices. It's not an identity. Sexuality is just an expression of the myriads of flowing energies of consciousness.
But this isn't just about sexual expression, but it's about sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is about who we are naturally attracted to, like being gay, straight, or bisexual-it’s not just an expression, it’s an inherent part of our identity. Sexual expression is about how we act on those attractions.
@@joewu294 You have assigned an identity to it and I approach it as an ever-floating and transformative expression of energy which cannot restrict me in a pigeon hole.
I am 63 and recovering from a severe stroke I was closeted so I thought and Married for 35 years and raised two wonderful sons, my only regret is that I didn’t come out much earlier in l. Many friends and family who reached out to me after I came out were supportive and many said they always thought I was gay the only thing I would change in my life would have been to fall out of the closet at a much younger age 🏳️🌈 my sister called and ask so are you gay, i replied with if you have to put a label on it, I’m Happy💕
…a very sensitive young man… aware of the obligations of his vows.. and dealing with the consequences of feelings and behaviors that cause conflict with fulfilling those vows…
It,s Not a choice, it,s a REAL wholesome reality. Why cant you people accept his reality. Get educated. The people who dont accept him are NOT Christians. He,s had had to go through all that, including therapy, to suit thier pathetic minds.
I came out in the mid 70s, and never looked back. From very strict Catholic family, and I knew I was different a very early age.It always felt absolutely natural and OK to me. It’s incredibly painful to watch people who buy into the evangelistic hateful view of gay life. 5:04
He looks like a GD ! Its a burden being gay at the same time handsome, manly , just the down the road bloke ,how a real man should be like . Makes it harder to come out ! Hope he is happy now ! .
Dear Ryan. I don't know if you read any of the "letters" others respond with. Your occupation was "tough" , you had to be "tough" to do it. You conformed to the way society saw a "mas's man" like you.& you therefore lived your early life , accordingly. My lifelong friend was "Army", tough, and we have been together now for 55 years. I lived , quietly in the background so as not to "cast doubt" on his maleness. He is retired now, we have lived in our home in Australia for some 52 years. It has not been easy, but extremely happy. Just be......"you". Regards Chris. Australia.
I'm a straight dude, and I wish I was as masculine and good looking as this guy. Love yourself bro, and fuck what people think. Only Jesus is our Judge, and he loves you, bro.
I was married to my accepting wife for 51 years and cared for her with MS for 26 years before she passed in June 2022. The fact that I am gay was medically proven during electronic shock therapy as part of 13 years of reparative therapy. But finally I am now free to be the gay man I always was. But I'm not looking for a husband. Too old now. I am 77 and have two adult children who are very accepting.
If the societies we grew up in weren’t so ridiculously backwards, we wouldn’t have to be burdened this way. You’re a gorgeous guy and who wouldn’t fancy you? man or woman. Now go out into the world and be yourself.
You might have to decide who will and will not be in your life. As you meet people and they want to become your friend, let them know that if they want to be your friend, then it’s important that they know this about you. If they can’t handle it, then let them go on their way, no hard feelings. I’m a gay man. I decided years ago that I will not allow other people’s beliefs run my life. I don’t care what church they belong to. I have a very deep spiritual connection with God/Jesus. I don’t need someone else telling me how to do it. But, I give myself the freedom to choose what I believe. It’s part of “my truth”, not someone else’s. Live your life freely and with peace and confidence. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
The pressure imposed by society and its rules upon individuals lead to the denial of their own truth. It is never their fault! They deserve support and not recrimination. Well done Ryan!
True but equally risky now are parts of society doing the opposite of oppressing and instead trying to get involved and introducing to young gay people that the way out is transitioning instead of people just working things out for themselves. I'm not saying it is being sold that way, but for a young person with no answers, simply because they have not yet adjusted, it is a much easier reach. This is additionally concerning when the number of young people who start to investigate transition, who have an additional diagnosable mental condition is staggering, close to 60% making many particularly vulnerable.
Very genuine, heartfelt, and honest. A very different perspective to coming out. Thank you for sharing.
What a beautiful man, we're all different ages and from different backgrounds but we can relate, God bless you brother 🙏❤
Coming out for me has been a process, not an event. At 85, I think the hardest part is the internal homophobia. It is an issue I continue to struggle with. Most people in my life have taken the information much better than I have. lol
Internalized homophobia is like pushing a fully loaded baggage trolley up a hill, decade after decade, only to reach the terminus and discover not a single bag bears your name. It’s tragic to realize in your dotage that the burdens you’ve carried for a lifetime never actually belonged to you. Where a regret-free montage of satisfying memories should reside there are mostly lingering insecurities planted long ago in a supple young mind by a majority of the majority.
agree, it is as well a process for me. now im honest with myself yet have decided not to open to my families.
❤
Honestly, I can’t stand the fact that I have same sex attraction. I’m in my 50s and no one in my life knows. I’m sure some have speculated but there’s no proof. It’s weird with me though. I have zero attraction to females physically or emotionally. With guys, I only have physical attraction but am not interested in being in an emotional relationship with a guy. Therefore, I’m single and have never been in any type of emotional relationship ever. I want to love and be loved but when I imagine what that looks like, I can’t project an image because neither gender fills that role for me. It’s a screwed up life that is very lonely.
I’m almost at a loss for words. All of us experience such trauma, when, in fact, we’re innocent, totally innocent. Thank heaven the trauma, the anguish gives us strength. I’m old enough to be your father and it pains me to think that boys and young men of your generation are still suffering from the cr*p that society dumps on us. You’ve done the right thing, young man, you’ve remained true to yourself. I salute you; I congratulate you. I wish you the very best.
You are perfect as God created you. Love yourself first then all falls into place. I am a 77 yo gay man who struggled coming out in the 1970s. It gets easier.
it never gets easy .. in a way we'll always have to come up for ourselves no matter what ! but there is worse in life
Seriously? It's the god squad who persecute gay people that cause these problems. Stockholm Syndrome?
@@joshuaamitai it definitely gets easier with time
Wow, it seems a number of the comments are relatively recent! I simply concur with what's been said. The heteronormative and conservative religious worldviews have done and still does do damage and creates trauma to many and prevents them from being their authentic selves!!! Bless you and others Ryan, for being the beautiful and real man you are!!!
I think this is one of the most moving coming out stories: stoically telling us the terrible pain and danger of not accepting and loving yourself first, and realising that people close to you also didn't. I hope they have accepted you now and realise what hell you went through and that you didn't want to hurt others. Wishing you the happy life you deserve brother.
Ryan is the type who triggers homophobes. They can cope with the camp end of the spectrum as they feel able to consider them as not ‘men’ but more ‘inter sex’ ie ‘less than manly’ When a man as conventionally masculine and incredibly handsome as Ryan comes along and reveals his homosexuality it terrifies them.
It will terrify a man who, like more than a few men, has man crushes/same sex attractions and experiences crushing shame and self-loathing for it. He can point to a campy or fem guy and say to himself 'I'm not like that so I can't be 'gay'. It may be 2024 but as a species we're still in the dark ages around this stuff. At 67 I've had a lot of life experiences in cultures around the world. Whether San Francisco or Tehran men are the same. I've learned that, in spite of conventional thinking, the most rugged and confident alpha males are the most likely to engage or desire to engage with other men intimately. This guy is just the tip of a very large iceberg and I celebrate him for his courage.
@@kw6382 very well put. Media representation is still dominated by stereotypes ( high pitched laugh, Judy Garland fan, fashion and fabrics etc) The Ryans of this World are a much needed redress of the balance and if he is an unsettling presence for those men ill at ease about their own sexual identity, then so be it.
Wish I'd been at school with ya..I'd of been your bestie 😏
@@JimJam1st handsome thumbnail I’d have been your bestie too 😀
@@gerardmackay8909 Hey gerald, we could of had a bangin 3
What a beautiful man, men should open up about their feelings…. ❤
Totally get it all. Married 19 years and the feeling of guilt on top of accepting myself was very difficult. Good luck to you.
I was married 26 years. No regrets. However im happen now that I came out last year.
@@Wick-wayne It’s a heavy load to carry and wish you luck. You are not alone my friend.
Relatable story…. Very Touching….
Thank you for your honesty, Ryan, and for sharing your story. I admire you for facing the issue head on. My wish is that you find much happiness.
My gosh, Ryan, you amaze me with the courage you display relating your personal difficult journey. In doing so…..you, my friend, make a discernible difference….and I can’t for a moment believe that it is a difference only to me. Thank you, thank, thank you for sharing!
Live your life bro. No issues.
If you live your life authentically, you help others live their lives freely.
The truth shall set you free.
Your personal truth, if you live it, will set you free.
I came out 40 years ago, and it made my life SO much better.
Prayers and support to you
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Ryan is gorgeous - I’d date him in a heartbeat 🇮🇪☘️🇮🇪😍😍😍😍
You sound desperate.
Thank you for sharing apart of your life. You are a good person. Blessings and continued peace to you.😊
Hi Ryan. Incredible story. I'm in Belfast, too. Big hug! You're an amazing man.
What a terrific testimony to authentic life, to truth, and humanity. To endure the suffering of self loathing, doubt, fear, alienation and loneliness and fight for your own integrity is a tremendous accolade to James.. I have nothing but admiration for him and thank him for telling his story. That he had to endure this is an indictment of a society, a community that is centred on hatred and spiritual violence. From this short video I can see that he will know fulfilment and that he really deserves it. Thanks ❤️
Keep strong ! You’ll be ok but it will take time.
Truly selfless and brave two share your most private struggle and give hope to other people. THANK YOU...
Thank you for sharing this. You appear to be a genuine, honest, and courageous individual. Everyone in your life should be grateful to have you in their lives.
It was a hard journey. My husband and I were both married in straight relationships. We both had to go through the journey of self-acceptance, and learning to be true to ourselves. We are now also both QHHT Hypnotherapy practitioners and understand it was a Soul journey. Going inwards and aligning with who you truly are regardless of the views of religious people is vital. Doing the inner work of healing and transformation is our responsibility. Allowing our wives to go and find happiness is the best gift we can give them.
Such kind hearted soul. You can tell the experience of coming out , was really hard for him. Each journey of coming out are similar but everyone is it’s own story. I truly hope he happier now. ❤
Awesome Ryan. I went through exactly the same. I totally understand. You will get through it 100%. Bless you. God made you the way you are.
I went through something similar. (Not to the extent of Ryan), Its re assuring to know that your not the only one.😊
You can not change the way you were born.
I’m lucky I guess because I’ve never felt guilt or shame for my nature. I know many guys have really struggled with this but it’s good to know that it’s a lot easier now than decades ago when homosexuality was considered an illness that could be cured which of course was totally nonsense. You are a great guy Ryan to speak openly about who you are and your experience.
That is life, I will NEVER GO BACK!
I just came through similar circumstances so I can totally get all of the feelings you experienced. Good for you for making the change in your life. Stay positive and look to a bright future. Cheers.
Happy Thanksgiving
We'
I'm thankful for hearing your story.
Misattributed shame has no place in a healthy life.
❤
Ryan, listening to you has given me courage to deal with this issue myself. You are a really cool guy. It takes a lot of strength and courage to share your story, and if you can do it, I know I can too. Thank you and I hope all good things for you.
It's been said that before you come out to others, you first have to come out to yourself. That happened to me at 29. I talked to someone at 30. To my complete surprise, he was experiencing the exact same things. We ended up in a beautiful bromance.
Talk to someone you trust. You are not alone.
Heartbreaking. Such an upstanding, warmhearted and kind person. I hope he's doing OK. 🙏
Thank you for sharing your story and life James. You are loved and respected coming from a trans woman.
Poor guy, it's such a shame. Life isn't easy. I really hope he's happier now
I did the same thing as an adolescent and young teenager. I just withdrew and stop communicating or being friends with anyone. Some adults expressed their concern but I never ever felt that it would be safe to tell anyone what was truly wrong. I felt entirely alone and believed I would be for the rest of my life. It took me a long time to realize that growing gay in a homophobic society is a form of child abuse.
You’re not the only one.
Yeah I’m proud of you for going public with this I will tell you as a 63-year-old man who is married and has children and grandchildren I just came out to my family not even 10 years ago and it has been rough but it’s been more my own mental struggle than my friends and family accepting me, which I think is often the case. When someone even indicates that that if someone’s gay or different did they choose to be that way they just don’t know how wrong they are you are chosen you do not choose.
Thank you so much, Ryan, for sharing your story. 💙
A lot of society wants everyone to be 'one size fits all' and the reality is that it's not that way. Labels don't help the situation. I had a similar experience to Ryan, in that, everyone wanted the same thing for me: what they wanted me to be. But it took til I was about 33 and met, what is now my other half, for him telling me: 'there's nothing wrong with you the way you are, and if others don't like that, that's their problem - not yours' for me to finally be at peace.
And we've been together now pushing 24 years. You are wired the way you are, and the sooner that you figure that out for yourself in life, the happier you can be. There's nothing better than living your authentic life.
Similar experience from a different time with no support from family or anyone else. Now that I am on the other side I am happy but its been a long muddy pot hole filled rough road. I always knew my depression originated from societal expectations and was not something I caused or owned but rather something I experienced. It did screw up my life and I wish it could have been better but that was not in the cards for me. Now that I am in my mid 60's the opportunity for a happy healthy relationship (the gay community has its own issues with youth being one of them) has passed but I am good with that as this is how my life was meant to unfold. Hopefully if I get to do this again I can do it right the next time.
I just stumbled across this video. Please keep making videos like this. I came out to my wife at age 62 for exactly the same reasons Ryan gives. I have always been on the effeminate side, but even so I relate totally to his story, and so do many of the gay men I know. I need to hear about other men's pain in order to realize I'm not just in a tiny, isolated group of men clinging to our faith in Christ while people around us are telling us we are going to hell. It's something many of us are going through.
This channel has only four videos, all made 5 years ago. James has clearly moved on. But with all due respect, I don't understand why any of us still 'cling to our faith' when that's what condemned us in the first place.
@@DDumbrille Jesus Christ never condemned Homsexuality/same sex attraction. He reinforced the concept of marriage, and was killed because he challenged old Testament concepts. Many gay men love Christ, and he shall judge them, not you or I.
Not in a marriage myself, thank God, but yes, the Church, Social Medica (Today) and Homophobia in School, Family, Brothers, etc....if so, all the thorns, spikes and obstacles in our life the makes us so courageous to still follow our deep path to what you know is the truth. Such a struggle is not shared in most. Not always a happy story, but people still live in this Mental prison, with marriage, kids and job...and it is a miserable life I would think, as I saw it play out in many co-workers as well. God Bless ya for sharing, and letting it out for us with your hard experience.
what a kind soul.
Blessing from CANADA🇨🇦
Thanks for sharing!
I am suffering in silence. I had a sobbing episode yesterday, and today I have to go on and pretend that everything is fine and dandy. It seems like friends and family don' t want to hear about it. You're not alone. But, I am. There you go. Being honest.
I hope everything goes well for you. I understand what you are feeling. I am not out to my family and it is hard to talk about it to many of my friend that even know I am gay. If it comforts you, as a Christian believer myself, I'll say a prayer for you so you can have some consolation and peace. I wish you the best. Never give up. Live could be a great saga if we intend to make it one. I wish you the best. Peace.
@@alonsoracine2191 Thanks. That's very sweet. I find beauty in life, in people, in books, in travelling; all things that distract me. I've been very fortunate. The only thing missing is someone to share it with. That's all. That's what I grapple with. We have to accept what life has in store for you and make the best of it.
There is nothing wrong with you. You must come out to yourself and realize that this is what the Cosmos want's for you; your attractions, your choice of whom to love, and to be a good man. May Jesus Christ be with you; only He knows what's in your heart, not us, and remember that Christ was killed because he bucked the system and challenged Old Testament concepts.
Great testimony, Sir, you describe so well how you weren't allowed by your environment to love and see yourself, true to your nature. I wish you so much that you shake off all doubts and feelings of guilt, as you are already so empathic to those to whom you couldn't be true, because you had been brought up not to be it to yourself. You are lovable in every single way, you don't need to prove anything to anybody. Pleaes take good care of your wellbeing and the blossoming of your precious life. Thank you again for sharing! Hans
I hope sir that you have found a special person, or at least peace and love within yourself
A good video. I hope Ryan has found peace of mind, friendship and new love, not least for his own self!
If it helps you to put a label on your sexuality - I am this or I am that - then do it. If it does not help you to use labels - then do not do it. We are all very complex beings, evolving during our whole life. Have you been the same person through your whole life? Of course not. You are free to explore and live your life in all areas in your own way.
People suffer or die because of pointless society demands or expectations. To come out on top is a plus. Just always be you. x
This Video is Sad. I wish I could be there to hug him, and let him know. I have been there. And then Give him a Portuguese Tight Hug so he knows there are many of us who dealt with that. You have a New Sub :)
Very well done, you are so very brave...............................Mxx
Great to see Ryan representing so well.
GOOD FOR YOU for coming out! Living a full honest life is the best we can do. I was truly brought out when a girlfriend I was seeing turned to me in the car and said: "Jeff. You need to be honest with yourself." Then she walked into her apartment. My father told me when we were having a conversation when he was in his 90s that he and my mother had known I was gay when I was 5 years old. They totally accepted me, but knew I would have a difficult life. They were correct. But one cannot deny one's nature, and there you have it. You are young and handsome and have your whole life before you. Throw away the past and enjoy life!
Honesty is always the best policy. I nearly got married when I was 21, I am now 62. I had to be true to myself and admit that I was gay. I called it off 6 weeks before and the fall out was horrendous. Both families were Irish Catholic and the guilt that came with that was enormous. But I could not go through with a wedding, knowing that I would 'cheat' further down the line. It took it's toll, but I am happy and healthy and wish the same for you. In time you will come to terms with the situation and realise that you have made the best decision for all concerned. Lots of luck to you for a great future ahead.
Similar story here Ryan. 43 when I came out to myself. So grateful that I am still around today. Special relationship with my former wife and adult son. Been with the most extraordinary man for 7 years, married to him for 2. Here’s to finding the other side of the canyon.
Being gay is just a sexual orientation. It is who you are. It is no different than the color of your eyes. Period!
Tell that to my family who thinks I'm sick and demented and mentally ill etc. that's why I haven't spoken to them in 20 years. Northern Alberta Canada still has a sick disgusting attitude towards gay people which is based on religion and fear and they are not going to change their mind
@@GaryM-d6i unfortunately homophobia will also be around just like racism its really just so sad those people are hateful.
Hi Gary,
I recently found an article that I found helpful. “Why No-Contact Families Are Becoming a New Norm” by Mark Travers PhD
I hope this helps. I should have done this to my own family years ago! No contact is abundantly healthy!
Cheers, I hope this helps.
Greg
(You can google the title)
Hey that's not true. The colour of your eyes doesn't determine who you are in society and how you move through the world
@@onlinepersonaeneither does your sexual orientation.
You did the right thing ❤
I was brought up seeing
this is the problem!
Parents who don’t think
of other than themselves………!
Why do they have children, if….?
I think coming out is similar to decolonizing yourself - we have to build each other up
I'm bi and gorgeous and You're doing well and so brave for making a video like this good job!!!!!!
When I came out gay it was tough because it was the late eighties and I was only 22 years old and people were very close-minded still. But nowadays if I would have came out it would have been a lot easier and a lot of accepting.
I am shocked at how handsome this man is! WOW, he looks so good!!
Ryan: My wife and I met when she was five and I was eight, when we attended the same school, and she fell from a slide and broke her arm, and I took her to the school office for help. But I was reluctant to leave her. She was only known to me as that little blond girl. And I was only known to her as the tall boy with dark hair. I wouldn’t see her again for ten years. Our families moved. And we met on a blind date, when she was sixteen and I was nineteen, totally unaware, and not remembering, our previous experience. When all I saw was: What eyes. We wouldn’t remember, or even realize, we went to the same school, until years into our married. But unbeknown to me, she’d decided on that playground that I was the one, even if she never saw me again. But I had to realize, and admit to her, that I was gay, ten years into our marriage, after years of self-analysis and therapy, that I wasn’t just contending with the aftermath of abuse. We stayed married for another ten years. I kept to the course of my Air Force career. And we raised three wonderful kids. We were always at our best when things were at their worst, but we couldn’t weather the discloser. And I’ve wondered, at times, if I shouldn’t have told her. But I’d rather let go of the illusion we were, than live with her in a lie. We divorced at 20 years. She refers to it as when I tore life apart. I understand your struggle. And I’m writing to tell you, we both went on to do things we wouldn’t have been able to do, otherwise. She became a critical care nurse. And I wrote a path into human manifesting. This isn’t all there is to life. There were others before it. And there’ll be others after it. All the people we love are there. Without bounds, limitations, or labels. Where the only name we’re known by is who we are. You didn’t make a mistake. I know you.
Telling your wife that you love must be the hardest part of coming out and admitting who you really are. Watching her world crumble and knowing it’s your fault must be soul destroying, but to live a lie and know that the person she loves does not exist can only be torture. It will hurt at first but she deserves someone to be honest and love her the way she loves him. I hope Ryan knows he has done the best thing for her and has no regrets.
This is the exact reason sex education at school must include discussions about being gay. There are so many kids that just don't understand what they are feeling. They know they are different, but in a way that makes them feel wrong. We need to tell our kids they are perfectly normal and fine and God has made us all. Not just them, all of us. We are loved by God and I don't believe in a God that wouldn't want love for all of us. Please quite clinging to what man calls the word of God and religion. Man himself has written the Bible and his interpretation of what he believed. Haven't we grown us humans to have the common sense to understand science and that we are all born unique. We should celebrate that, but even more, stop the persecutions. Educate those that are ignorant.
Beautiful man!!!
Coming out is like peeling an onion; you do it one layer at a time, and sometimes you cry.
Ryan is a very decent guy and deserves to be happy
I'm a psychologist. I refer to a "readiness" factor when people have reached a better time in their lives but are still somewhat bothered by it seeming to take so long to get there. It's a main thing left to face, but sometimes acceptance can involve just realizing not having been ready earlier in life. It's a kindly way of dealing with things where you can't literally go back, but you can go back in your mind to rethink it. I think of when I was in my doctoral program where I had a classmate who had a mug with a saying on it, "It's never too late to have a happy childhood." The proof that you've done it for further growth is in a sense of relief, avoiding similar mistakes, and doing better and better into the future.
I love your comment, sir. Well said and may Spirit guide you and your knowledge. "It's never too late to have a happy childhood"... I will be stealing that saying.
Hi Ryan. I grew up in the same village as Susan Boyle where i was bullied as a teenager. I became afraid to leave my house. Then one day i got brave enough to start the local college - where i past all i needed to get to university in Edinburgh. I moved to Edinburgh and never went back to live in Blackburn West Lothian. I was near thinking of killing my self in Blackburn but then had the time of my life at university and thank the bullies for making me leave. You, please take good care of yourself x P.S I have the same colour of eyes as you.
Screw what society thinks!!! THANK GOD I gave myself the FREEDOM to NOT CARE what anyone else thought about me - THEY sure as hell aren't paying MY bills!!! BEST GIFT I ever received!!! NO GUILT or SHAME ~~ very UNPRODUCTIVE and NEGATIVE emotions that serve NO PURPOSE!!!!! 🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🏳🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
We are all evolving creatures. Some realize their certain truths later in life than others. You can’t fault yourself for following the prescribed “social pattern” and then later finding out that pattern isn’t YOUR pattern. I hope your ex was kind enough to let you go with your newfound awareness and allow you to discover love elsewhere. That doesn’t mean you DON’T care for her or love her, but you do in a different way. Don’t beat yourself up for discovering YOUR truth and forging your own path according to that truth.
Like I said to a friend, “stop living a lie just to make others happy at your own miserable expense, start living the truth, a happy YOU!”
Family is what you want you want it to be, not what it wants you to be.
I was more than happy to walk away from “family” because when you have nothing, you feel nothing and so you walk away from nothing with everything you own!
Was the best thing I ever did.
Omg. I can imagine how hard to be married to a woman & knowing you’re gay As you said you kinda knew inside you that gay feeling. My opinion is, the religion makes us feel we’re not normal . Lucky me I realized that early age inspite of my families are very religious, i knew myself more than anybody else. GF / Fiancé not a problem but I said , sorry I can’t do it & set them free. Now I’m retired & happy but play a little still 😝 life is wonderful . ❤️🙏
Oh dear, yet again through this clip we see the tentacles of religion working its negativity on young gay men. The problem with engendering self loathing at such a young age is that it can leave scars which can surface again many years later. I only hope that this brave man will not suffer any of those consequences.
For my part I was raised an orthodox Catholic, but I began asking questions about the faith at about 11 or 12, so by the time my sexuality began to assert itself, religion had already begun to loosen its hold. It still took time to shrug off the conditioning but when I started to campaign for equality in the 70s the fire then in my belly was great for my self esteem. Now I'm just plain angry at belief systems that harness young men with an unbearable load which they expect them to bear throughout life.
01:38 What's with the music coming in, and the guiltier he feels, the louder the music? So cheesy. But this guy is perfection. He's got everything, quite a catch for a lucky man.
Thanks for telling ur story must have been hard to do hope ur ok. Ish now. X
I don't understand why some people make it so complicated. My attraction towards same sex (men) was pretty strong and very obvious for as long as I can remember, I'd say when I was 8 years old. Conversation about homosexuality was not all common, but if I was asked today when I knew I was gay, the answer is easy.... from the minute I began to experience feelings of attraction towards another human being, in my case when I was 8. Never understood why some gay guys would say... oh I only found out in high school, or after a few broken marriages. Cmon now.
Dear Ryan. A message? Carry on as you are - and as you are becoming. Honest. Authentic. Humility. Solid. Formed and growing. being. Knowing. Good stuff. Be ready. Ready to receive the good.
I was with my wife ten years before it collapsed. Guilt destroyed me. Gave her all I had. House pension etc. Nothing mattered - and she in part helped by not forgiving. Wanting more. When there wasn't more. Thirty five years ago. Nobody to talk to.
Different days. Being in a church - they didn't understand. No one wanted to talk. So out. Then encounter. Out of the blue. And now together and married for 22 years. That means facing the world together. Two of us.
Wishing you that 'out of the blue; time - if it hasn't already happened........T.
I dont feel the need to tell anyone or come out. I dont have friends, have never dated, and i dont think i am capable of love or loving anyone. I am doing ok so far.
You don't have to say anything to anyone- But - you must come out to yourself and realize that despite what anyone says God loves you and only He is the ultimate judge. Love yourself bro, and the friends will come. You don't need to say shit to anyone, but love yourself.
Beautiful man. ❤
Thank you Ryan. There are questions about Burt Lancaster's sexual orientation. Northern Irish men are incredible. Burton Stephen Lancaster (November 2, 1913 - October 20, 1994) was an American actor. Initially known for playing tough guys with a tender heart, he went on to achieve success with more complex and challenging roles over a 45-year career in films and television series. All four of his grandparents were emigrants from Ireland to the United States, from the province of Ulster.
You're a good looking guy! Me personally was about to propose but broke up instead. Still regret it though it was 7 years ago. Every day I ask myself if it was inevitable... Good luck and all the best to you!
Why do people need to label themselves in terms of their sexual expression? Why can't we all be who we are and express who we are without labels? We are far more than our sexual choices. It's not an identity. Sexuality is just an expression of the myriads of flowing energies of consciousness.
But this isn't just about sexual expression, but it's about sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is about who we are naturally attracted to, like being gay, straight, or bisexual-it’s not just an expression, it’s an inherent part of our identity. Sexual expression is about how we act on those attractions.
If you want equal rights within a society you have to be visible and not hidden. That's why.
@@joewu294 You have assigned an identity to it and I approach it as an ever-floating and transformative expression of energy which cannot restrict me in a pigeon hole.
I am 63 and recovering from a severe stroke I was closeted so I thought and Married for 35 years and raised two wonderful sons, my only regret is that I didn’t come out much earlier in l. Many friends and family who reached out to me after I came out were supportive and many said they always thought I was gay the only thing I would change in my life would have been to fall out of the closet at a much younger age 🏳️🌈 my sister called and ask so are you gay, i replied with if you have to put a label on it, I’m Happy💕
Can't really relate to such on-going trauma.......but I hope he finally adjusted.
…a very sensitive young man… aware of the obligations of his vows.. and dealing with the consequences of feelings and behaviors that cause conflict with fulfilling those vows…
thank you, Ryan
It's ok to be whatever the fuck you wanna be.
It,s Not a choice, it,s a REAL wholesome reality. Why cant you people accept his reality. Get educated. The people who dont accept him are NOT Christians. He,s had had to go through all that, including therapy, to suit thier pathetic minds.
I came out in the mid 70s, and never looked back. From very strict Catholic family, and I knew I was different a very early age.It always felt absolutely natural and OK to me. It’s incredibly painful to watch people who buy into the evangelistic hateful view of gay life. 5:04
He looks like a GD ! Its a burden being gay at the same time handsome, manly , just the down the road bloke ,how a real man should be like . Makes it harder to come out ! Hope he is happy now ! .
Good luck to you, you handsome man
Dear Ryan. I don't know if you read any of the "letters" others respond with. Your occupation was "tough" , you had to be "tough" to do it. You conformed to the way society saw a "mas's man" like you.& you therefore lived your early life , accordingly. My lifelong friend was "Army", tough, and we have been together now for 55 years. I lived , quietly in the background so as not to "cast doubt" on his maleness. He is retired now, we have lived in our home in Australia for some 52 years. It has not been easy, but extremely happy.
Just be......"you".
Regards
Chris. Australia.
I'm a straight dude, and I wish I was as masculine and good looking as this guy. Love yourself bro, and fuck what people think. Only Jesus is our Judge, and he loves you, bro.
I was married to my accepting wife for 51 years and cared for her with MS for 26 years before she passed in June 2022. The fact that I am gay was medically proven during electronic shock therapy as part of 13 years of reparative therapy. But finally I am now free to be the gay man I always was. But I'm not looking for a husband. Too old now. I am 77 and have two adult children who are very accepting.
Why can’t I meet a man like him?
@@garynilsson416 thanks for the advice! I’ll remember to keep my eyes shut next time im out
If the societies we grew up in weren’t so ridiculously backwards, we wouldn’t have to be burdened this way. You’re a gorgeous guy and who wouldn’t fancy you? man or woman. Now go out into the world and be yourself.
Hot guy. Welcome out. Enjoy your life!
You might have to decide who will and will not be in your life.
As you meet people and they want to become your friend, let them know that if they want to be your friend, then it’s important that they know this about you.
If they can’t handle it, then let them go on their way, no hard feelings.
I’m a gay man. I decided years ago that I will not allow other people’s beliefs run my life. I don’t care what church they belong to.
I have a very deep spiritual connection with God/Jesus. I don’t need someone else telling me how to do it.
But, I give myself the freedom to choose what I believe. It’s part of “my truth”, not someone else’s.
Live your life freely and with peace and confidence.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤