The messages I heard growing up: "Shut Up". "Be Quiet". "Stop Bothering Me." "Stop Being So Selfish". "DON'T EXIST UNLESS I WANT SOMETHING FROM YOU". The problem here is that if these are the ONLY messages you hear, you will have ZERO skills or tools to function as an adult. Even though I earned a degree from a top rated college, for decades I worked jobs where I did not know that I could negotiate my salary, it never crossed my mind to even think about what I wanted, much less to ask, becauee I thought that would be "rude". I dated people who mistreated me and I thought I "had to do what they wanted" so that they would accept me. This included allowing them to embarrass me in public and even put their hands on me. I am all for respecting parents, but parents need to realize that your children need to be taught not only how to relate to you, but the world ar large if they are to srand a chance of creating a meantingful life that does not consist of working low wage jobs and putting up with abusive relationships.
So glad I found your channel. It had to be God. I have been praying for direction and how to heal my mother wound. Thank you for taking the chance to put this information out.
As the “rebellious” daughter, I completely agree. My strong opinions & disdain for “authority” led to many punishments and whippings but I refused to listen to things that didn’t sit right with my little toddler/pre-teen/teenage soul. In my 20’s I tried to do what I was asked/told, and I was miserable. My sister was very compliant but viewed herself as the black sheep. In reality, I’m the black sheep on both sides of my family. Do I care? No. I have lived a life with many ups and downs but on my own terms. Living life like it’s golden, because it is what you make of it.
Was listening to this while working and almost started crying MULTIPLE times. This described me to a tee. I would say my mom and dad were good parents, not perfect, as clearly this is hitting me emotionally, but I couldn't explain why I felt the "polite and obedient little black girl" upbringing I had was something that held me back as an adult.
I have committed to going back and listening to your podcast episodes from the first one...BAAAYBAY! Wow. It feels like you are holding up a mirror and I am finally looking at a true reflection of myself. So much is clicking into place! I can't wait to keep diggin in!
Thank you for posting this 🩷 currently trying giving myself permission to make decisions & feeling better about myself everyday. Please keep doing what you’re doing
The messages I heard growing up:
"Shut Up".
"Be Quiet".
"Stop Bothering Me."
"Stop Being So Selfish".
"DON'T EXIST UNLESS I WANT SOMETHING FROM YOU".
The problem here is that if these are the ONLY messages you hear, you will have ZERO skills or tools to function as an adult. Even though I earned a degree from a top rated college, for decades I worked jobs where I did not know that I could negotiate my salary, it never crossed my mind to even think about what I wanted, much less to ask, becauee I thought that would be "rude". I dated people who mistreated me and I thought I "had to do what they wanted" so that they would accept me. This included allowing them to embarrass me in public and even put their hands on me.
I am all for respecting parents, but parents need to realize that your children need to be taught not only how to relate to you, but the world ar large if they are to srand a chance of creating a meantingful life that does not consist of working low wage jobs and putting up with abusive relationships.
So glad I found your channel. It had to be God. I have been praying for direction and how to heal my mother wound. Thank you for taking the chance to put this information out.
I feel the same way. I just found her page yesterday and I feel healing already
As someone who is transitioning into their 30s, this podcast could not have come at a better time.
I pray you experience a speedy recovery. ❤️🩹 🌞
As the “rebellious” daughter, I completely agree. My strong opinions & disdain for “authority” led to many punishments and whippings but I refused to listen to things that didn’t sit right with my little toddler/pre-teen/teenage soul. In my 20’s I tried to do what I was asked/told, and I was miserable. My sister was very compliant but viewed herself as the black sheep. In reality, I’m the black sheep on both sides of my family. Do I care? No. I have lived a life with many ups and downs but on my own terms. Living life like it’s golden, because it is what you make of it.
Was listening to this while working and almost started crying MULTIPLE times. This described me to a tee. I would say my mom and dad were good parents, not perfect, as clearly this is hitting me emotionally, but I couldn't explain why I felt the "polite and obedient little black girl" upbringing I had was something that held me back as an adult.
This is loaded with revelations for me 🙌🏾💯
I resonate with this so much . Glad I found your channel 😊
This channel has brought me out the darkest space in my life. I’m so thankful for you Ms.Arnise
I thank you for this channel it talks about trauma that many are not allowed to address.
I have committed to going back and listening to your podcast episodes from the first one...BAAAYBAY! Wow. It feels like you are holding up a mirror and I am finally looking at a true reflection of myself. So much is clicking into place! I can't wait to keep diggin in!
Thank you so much I’m glad as I found your channel. TMH know that I needed this
💙💚🥰❤🎯thankyou
So good
God Sent...God sent!!!
Thank you for posting this 🩷 currently trying giving myself permission to make decisions & feeling better about myself everyday. Please keep doing what you’re doing