This is what I did to improve my social skills! 👉 This video will breakdown my social skills method! 🚨 WATCH ME NEXT - How to boost your self esteem: ua-cam.com/video/w27nenP7fsQ/v-deo.html - Live coaching demonstration: ua-cam.com/video/YCeO-IP_T-Q/v-deo.html - How we improved our social skills as fast as we could: ua-cam.com/video/PpDf7QWPBDE/v-deo.html - Learn how to make people chase you: ua-cam.com/video/_FuyBUx69XA/v-deo.html 👉 BOOK YOUR FREE COACHING CALL: bit.ly/2S9YVum 🙏 Get a FREE guided meditation (How to let go of fear & anxiety): bit.ly/2JIkFJU 🔥 Get your copy of my RECORD-BREAKING program Transformation Mastery! (+4 exclusive bonuses): bit.ly/3vse34E 💎 My 12-month INTERACTIVE guide to personal transformation: bit.ly/3gUaccv 🕺 Unlock my STEP-BY-STEP social skills method: bit.ly/3aR0cQu ✨ Subscribe here for NEW videos: bit.ly/3w1ZTHD
I got into a chat with a supermarket assistant yesterday when normally I'd be to scared to even ask them for help looking for something. Setting myself little challenges that over time will give me more confidence.
@@hectorg362 i asked him if there was any of the cheaper coconut milk left. 😂 There wasn't and he apologised, I said it was fine and it went from there.
Summary: work on the vibe. 80% of a good social interaction is just the vibe, or emotional skills. How do you do this? Let it go. Trust that you'll be able to handle whatever comes your way, trust you'll be able to find topics to talk about and talk about topics your actually interested in, and overall just trust yourself. I mean worse case you make a mistake and you learn from it, which really isn't that bad of a worse case now is it? A one phrase summary for this whole video is: Let it go.
it really is about relaxing......anxiety fuck that you don't need that. Let that shit go HARD because it's so goddamn crippling (I learned this the hardway dealing with a socially anxious ex lol.) let that shit go! Nobody needs that crap. Relax and be. KNOW when to talk but also FEEL the situation and know when to shut your mouth. It's really a balancing act.
I think what kills authenticity is ..analysis.When were kids our analitical skills were low..but as we grew analitical skills try and take over...making us to analyse almost each and every action we do socialy.
I have massive social anxiety even when talking to my parents or friends. For me, what constantly helped is to be present at the moment and focus my attention to the other person. In that way, I would not be so overwhelmed with my thoughts of messing up and choking up my words.
I feel like my more introverted friends fall into these exact pitfalls where they are concerned about showing their anxiety in more public settings when, with friends, they don't have that issue and are practically indistinguishable from an extrovert or someone who is great with people. It's like guys, just do that but with new people. Great talk!
i first watched this video around 6 months ago. tried focusing on the vibe, didn't work. these days, i've been trying to change my approach and work first on my negative thoughts. it took a lot of effort, but it worked. i stopped trying to be someone else. i'm totally in the moment and never felt like i run out of things to say. turns out if i just wanna nod and smile, the other person has no problem with it. it felt so freeing. this video is what came into my mind after succeeding. you're a genius, julien!!
00:00 🎓 Social skills are developed through real-life experiences rather than just academic knowledge. 01:38 📚 To improve social skills, talk to more people than you naturally would. 02:05 💡 Authenticity is foundational to developing social skills. 04:15 🧠 Social skills consist of 80% emotional skills and 20% analytical skills. 06:03 🎈 Letting go is crucial for becoming socially adept. 08:00 💡 Vibe is more important than content in social interactions. 10:56 🛠 Work on authentic expression rather than relying solely on tips and tricks. 16:07 🌟 Prioritize sharing what genuinely interests you to create engaging conversations. 21:34 🎉 Authentic enthusiasm can make any topic engaging in conversation.
Funny how you watch all these motivational videos, exercise, discipline etc and this video just reminded me of a more natural way to be grounded and myself. Sure all those others are important but letting go, always gets me. Thanks man. Subscribed
Hey! Yesterday I felt like a social natural. Expressing myself without fear of judgement trusting my intuition. Best I’ve felt in 4 years. It happened either after catching up on sleep, releasing pent up anger, the exercise I did, or release of social resistance and I’m not sure which one, or where to find help.
The most successful moments are always a combination of things. So it was likely a mix of all of them. I consistently find I perform better socially when I'm eating healthy, getting good sleep, keeping on a work out schedule, keeping away from porn and keeping going out
As I listened, I formed a little mental reminder for myself: the problem with relying on technique, is that you're relying on technique. That is, you never actually express the real you, and you never really grow in skill. You lean heavier on the crutch and thus, depend more on the crutch.
This is the most important thing ive been trying to internalize. I thought I could be successful just with my technical knowledge & skills. Boy was I wrong.
I started working out lately and I’ve found new confidence and love for myself. I think this is my next challenge. I need to breakout of my mental/social prison I’ve put myself in. I’m gonna try and talk to 5 people a day. Whether if it’s at work or at the store.
I feel social anxiety, I let it pass. I allow it. I expect it. It’s part of all of it. I remind myself it’s gonna happen and it’s totally cool. No more overthinking it. In fact, I’m realizing when you take the lead in conversing, I learn everyone was looking for that leader. And, shockingly, the top conversation topic is this kind of value.
This was true for me. I was a kid with ADHD, very energetic, goofy but had lots of friends until I was 12 and in a new area, new school. At home, parents fighting all the time, at school bullying nonstop, got medicated too, put in therapy & told to constantly think about my actions & quirks & work on them. So was in my head 95% of the time. Made friends with very cynical, insular people as well, dudes who were basically edgelords. As time went on I was miserable & lonely. Only later on, in my late 20s when I started to deliberately remove those friends from my life, focus on being myself, not hiding the real me anymore, just trying always to let my chatterbox, silly, more kinda out of control goofy energy flow freely, being more comfortable rambling on about something I'm fanatical about, did I meet people who have become genuine, loving friends who have done much more for me than anyone else in my life as far as making me feel valued and valid.
Hearing real-life success stories is so motivating! It's inspiring to know that others have gone through this journey and experienced positive transformations. Definitely feeling more empowered after watching this.
7:10 Bro, perfect point! Once I analized and came up with this idea, I started to notice how I was, without knowing, sabotaging my feelings. I suffered a loooong time of traumas throughout my childhood and I had a repressed anger bcs my parents and relatives always neglected It. When I was youger I'd be always taught not to be aggressive even in very hard times - then, soon I'd develop a low self-steem because I wasn't able to stand up for myself. They say that people who are phisicaly or verbaly assaulted shouldn't be aggressive and hit back it, but, guess what, you'll be always the humiliated and the helpless in that story.
Somewhere between a waitress, bartender, care rental agent , or ANYONE who deals with the public, which I minimally did, learned how people are and feel, which also makes you learn about yourself
I realized that i have fake voice,hiding my real voice,I decided to let my voice come out and now I feel like a magician at talking,and my nerves have deminished 80%.I approve this message
man, from now on you're the only self-help youtuber i believe. all these youtubers here and there just throw vague advices without any consideration on how it'll effect the watcher. thanks for the realness, we really need that in our fake world.
Just like most people these days say: I rarely leave a comment, but this time it made me to do so, lol. I’m glad that I watched this video. “Glad” is understated in expressing of my joy right now. I want to keep listening until I master “expressing my authentic self”. When I was a kid, I used to read rap lyrics and my sisters used to admire saying that I am so cool, even though I was the least good looking and smart among them (that’s how I used to think of myself). But that time I used to enjoy doing things that would make me feel happy. When I stopped doing things what I love, I became distant from my authentic self and I acquired more and more new qualities that were not even me. I became just “others” like my family used to compare and say I’m not like “others” and I have wonderful qualities, but I lost my authentic self. You might ask me how I know. I know by how I’m interested more in other people rather than my own interests. (Just my thoughts here). Long conversation short, I love the simple “LET GO” you mentioned and hopefully I can go back to my authentic self when I was 11 years old last time. Thank you!🙏🏽
I feel like once you master the vibe the content will come more naturally and effortlessly. Love your videos they are becoming a game changer since I started watching them.
Even though I am experienced enough approaching and conversations, these videos by far, are much much better than the 99% garbage from the other channels. This is well thought out.
this Video was so helpful for me. I'm a bit socially awkward. Can't connect to people easily. But this video gave me some motivation to go out and talk to people and be myself instead of pretending "cool" or "perfect".
I think youve really hit on something fundamental with your transformation philosophy. I think humans have disconnected from their identity over generations of people not investigating themselves and stumbling onto something that works without understanding the why. People just consume content thinking that will change how they behave somehow. If they know how intellectually then they know how to operationally which I think is the fallacy. The doing can only be learned by doing it! The mind vs the heart. The mind learns how through language, the heart learns through action.
letting go is the key i give you that im an introvert who made some progress socializing why letting go is the key? bcs when u let go u should do it currectly i suggest meditation it brings you back to the real state that u should be. for me meditiation is like magic
I just realised, this dude has reavealed my strategy of being better socially😮 i mean he is talking exactly like my own thoughts.. listen to his advice, i can confirm is legit.
My take away is that reference experiences is the factor. In shift you said field experience is king. Most of us just don't practice the reference experience and then break down the reference to see where our possible sticking points are. We are lazy, entitled, and that's why we don't have the success that you do. But I have had success thanks to you, rsd, Barnes and noble, and UA-cam, and kombaucha 😉
He said that emotional skills and vibe is 80% of success and that comes from inner work and removing internal blocks - not getting in a tonne of reference experiences and analyzing them logically
Julien. Hello. I absolutely adore your blunt-Ness. I went to a birthday party today and realized...my social skills suck. I've not watched anything else on social skills. No need. I really like your style. Thank you. Can't wait to see what happens.😊
This guy just saved my social skills, i reallt thought that it was just about apllying some random shit of dale canegie ( for example) to become good socially but this really changes my whole view on the matter, thank you truly.
I'd say the vibe can go above 80% in many cases. There was one time I was talking to my friend about EMPTY BOTTLES in my room, how many were there, how to take them out of the room the most effective way etc. The topic was boring af and yet the vibe made it really interesting.
My 1 tip is to manage a way to be an observer, rather than to be observed. My nr 1 trigger for anxiety is i feel observed all the time and sort of am in a mindset of being observed by others. I have learned now to be able to feel like an observer instead, and when people look at me or talk to me, i can now actually feel calm, because i am studying them, rather than feeling like they are constantly studying me, and reading my mind, realising i am terrified😂 a good way to do this (for me) is to raise my cheeks a bit as if i am smiling with my eyes, and then instead of looking directly at the person, look slightly in front of the person. This relaxes my whole face, and my eyes don't get bigger as if i am scared, and i am able to relaxe. Not eating processed foods and candy helps ALOT aswell.. carbs in foods like rice is ok, but processed sugars makes my body unable to handle even the mpst basic of social interactions😂 not eatimg sugar for a few days makes me able to handle all sorts of mental and physical struggles much better
Just being honest when I first saw some of your clips, I thought you were another obnoxious self help guru. Yesterday I decided to watch an actual video and I’m hooked. I’ve watched about 9 videos fully since yesterday. Growing up I was socially anxious and extremely self conscious. I couldn’t even walk in to a crowded McDonald’s. Once I got my first job in Sales; it was exposure therapy since then. I sucked terribly at first but slowly I got better. I realized I didn’t get better at sales I was just letting more of myself shine through. People buy you not the product. I know this branched off weirdly but I landed a huge client today and I’m on cloud 9. I just want to say I like what you’re doing and keep it up brother. Stay safe and dilate that anus
@@JulienHimself I apologize man, I did a judgement on your person and after watching the entirel video I learned some things I didn't know, my mistake 🙏👍
I'm an Uber driver so I've spoken to over 7500 people in 4 years. This naturally made me more comfortable talking to strangers. I'm still introverted but I can choose when to be social and when not to be. Usually, it's a feeling for me.
@@Wtfisahandle344 Discipline makes you strong in the ways of feeling it through. Feeling the pain of regret keeps the pain going in a loop until you heal
This video is very helpful, but not enough for those who have very poor speaking skills. It's kinda more for intermediate or pre-intermediate speakers. I would suggest journalling for zero beginners (who cannot say even two sentences well). You can journal things that interest you to develop a vibe or journal everything in the way I did. The next is audio recording. Record yourself speaking of any topic of your desire Do those and go for practice in the real world you will be fascinated with the results. Good luck!
In my honest opinion, watching what other people do and taking note of it has helped me a lot more than any other advice. The number one thing that I noticed people do, and has helped me so far is to simply just speak your mind to other people. Don’t give one word answers and don’t ask a bunch of questions like you’re a detective. Just say whatever comes to mind (with common sense of course). It worked for me.
Not like I'm a coach or anything, but I am, and I agree with pretty much everything you say. I've been trying to explain to friends and family why I am the way I am (authentic and not trying to be liked for the sake of it) but the response is always "grow up" which is kinda funny, because it's exactly what I feel towards most fake ppl. Great video 👍🏼
Look having a conversation is essentially easy in my opinion, I dont struggle with the anxiety I guess. Thats not hard to overcome my vocal tonality and body language is great, but if the topic they choose or I choose I dont know enough about, you can only let go for so long until nothing is there.
I literally do not know what to forreal talk about when im talking too people. My social skills are trash. I just have nothing to talk about. I got out alot. I go to shows and bars and just never have anything to say or keep a conversation going. It sucks.
Im awesome at letting go, I can do that no problem, I need crap to talk about. Nobody wants to talk about my job, since I am socially anxious that is all I know to talk about.
Just a month listening to julian I have seen so much improvement. I was talking to this girl she said what I say is not really funny but how I say it makes her laugh.
Masterpiece, I will try to apply these ideas in real life for sure. Congratulations on your work Julien, it is really significant because it improves people's lives I wish you much success and happiness.
Introduction: Real-World Experience Over Theory (00:00) Part 1: The Importance of Inner Work and Authenticity (00:44) Developing Social Skills Through Interaction (01:24) Why Pretending Hurts Your Confidence (02:08) Breaking Down Social Skills: Emotional vs. Analytical (03:34) Letting Go: The Key to Becoming a Social Natural (05:55) Vibe vs. Content: Focus on the Energy You Project (07:42) Letting Go: How It Reclaims Energy and Willpower (11:05) The Importance of Vibe Over Content in Social Interactions (13:18) Avoid Being a Social Scammer: Highlight Who You Are (15:32) Why Relying on Momentum Hurts Your Social Confidence (16:57) Challenge Yourself: Talk About Boring Things with Passion (18:32) Real Example: How Passion Makes a Difference (19:07) Story: The Game of Thrones Fan and the Power of Passion (20:34)
I would like to share my experience,i think that will help people->Many things that I thought were the truth,were actually creations of my mind,I got caught in my thoughts,I lived in my thoughts,thinking that thinking more is gonna help me.But what I thought was the truth,was just "my thoughts".So 1)Your thoughts(and your emotions) are not the real world.The real world is "What happens".If something hasnt happened,its not the truth.It becomes the truth when it happens.For example,If you think you are akward or socially disabled or weird,thats just YOUR THOUGHT.If other people dont consider you weird,or are weirded out by your behavior,then you are not weird untill its proven,until it happens repetitively,until it becomes a pattern.Everyone acted weird in their life,once twice thrice.Everyone.But actions dont determine who you are.What you decide to continue doing,is who you are. 2)Yes the human mind is very well adjusted to connect socially with other people.But it needs training,especially if you were never taught to do so when you were a kid.When you train how you speak,and my favorite one using your facial expressions and body language(and the SMILE is the most powerfull social tool),you will naturally become more expressive,your speech and your body language will have a natural flow 3)Dont suppress emotions.When you are alone,let all the emotions and the thoughts that come with it ,hit you.Dont try to avoid it by playing games,or doomscrolling on social media,let the emotions hit you.And then analyze what you are thinking.If you dont,those emotions will start to control you,and will sabotage every attempt of socializing
¡Esto es lo que no había visto hasta ahora! ¡Por fin lo entiendo! Mi mayor error siempre ha sido tratar de compensar mis iseguridades y mi ansiedad tratando de razonar cómo debo actuar en vez de DEJARLO IR _(letting go)._ Siempre he sido consciente de ello, en realidad, pero ahora estoy convencido de que lo que más va a aumentar mis habilidades sociales y me va permitir vivir en el presente es aprender a expresar mis emociones sin miedo, sin juzgarme. Lo que me queda por descubrir es qué ejercicios me pueden entrenar progresivamente para lograr dejarlo salir de forma natural. Creo que participar en un coro me ayuda bastante, porque estoy entrenando mi respiración y sacando la voz desde adentro. ¿Qué más? Algo que debería practicar sin dudas es la meditación. La meditación, además de aumentar la capacidad de mantener la atención también se dice que permite escuchar o sentir tu mundo interior. No es lo mismo analizarte que permitirte sentir lo que te sucede sin bloquear nada.
My confusion with it is that by letting go I generally have nothing to say. And within that state I’m just observant. Which is boring. However, there are things that could be memorized that allow a true nature or personality to be expressed. Then you you’re able to be in that state without even thinking
no literally. “be authentic. let go. be yourself.” we know ts justtt feels impossible and you’re the only person that can figure it out for yourself. might as well be telling a homeless person to get a job
I cant remember the last time i started a conversation with someone of my own free will. Im in college now and feel like a shadow of myself. When my family came with me to drop me off for the semester, I was able to talk loud, laugh, and not care what ppl were thinking of me. The moment they left though its like im not even me. Im over analyzing how my face looks to ppl, how im walking, trying to make sure not to look at ppl too much and even looking the other way. When im myself i love eye contact but not when im mr. fake asf. im just now trying to get myself out of this bs so hoping it goes well xp
I know I have to talk to people more than just being nice, but i have no idea with whom I can talk and how I should start a conversation with a stranger.
What if my authentic self is to not wanting to talk to certain people because it doesn't interest me but I have to because of work/events etc. I mean, I am authentic by not wanting to engage with them however I have to.
I notice that i can quite easily read others, i understand what they want the interaction about, but I simply cannot come up with an answer to their desires fast enough, i lose their respect after few failed attempts and that annoys me, if I could just pause time and give myself a few extra 5-10seconds each time to think faster, i think my social life would be just fine. Also one other thing is I enjoy learning about others usually, but i don't really like them knowing about my life. I prefer to stay on surface level and keep them guessing who I could be rather then letting them actually know who I am because most of the time, the image I give out is better then what I am at home.
This is what I did to improve my social skills! 👉 This video will breakdown my social skills method!
🚨 WATCH ME NEXT
- How to boost your self esteem: ua-cam.com/video/w27nenP7fsQ/v-deo.html
- Live coaching demonstration: ua-cam.com/video/YCeO-IP_T-Q/v-deo.html
- How we improved our social skills as fast as we could: ua-cam.com/video/PpDf7QWPBDE/v-deo.html
- Learn how to make people chase you: ua-cam.com/video/_FuyBUx69XA/v-deo.html
👉 BOOK YOUR FREE COACHING CALL: bit.ly/2S9YVum
🙏 Get a FREE guided meditation (How to let go of fear & anxiety): bit.ly/2JIkFJU
🔥 Get your copy of my RECORD-BREAKING program Transformation Mastery! (+4 exclusive bonuses): bit.ly/3vse34E
💎 My 12-month INTERACTIVE guide to personal transformation: bit.ly/3gUaccv
🕺 Unlock my STEP-BY-STEP social skills method: bit.ly/3aR0cQu
✨ Subscribe here for NEW videos: bit.ly/3w1ZTHD
But for a job it’s different
Make it a goal to go up and talk to someone every day that you normally wouldn’t. That’s what my mentor taught me and he’s a master at it.
Yes! Nice!
I got into a chat with a supermarket assistant yesterday when normally I'd be to scared to even ask them for help looking for something. Setting myself little challenges that over time will give me more confidence.
@@jessterflies how’s you start the conversation?
@@hectorg362 i asked him if there was any of the cheaper coconut milk left. 😂 There wasn't and he apologised, I said it was fine and it went from there.
I'm actually doing this since the last month and holy shit it's a very good advice. Now I don't have no problem with talking to new people
Summary: work on the vibe. 80% of a good social interaction is just the vibe, or emotional skills. How do you do this? Let it go. Trust that you'll be able to handle whatever comes your way, trust you'll be able to find topics to talk about and talk about topics your actually interested in, and overall just trust yourself. I mean worse case you make a mistake and you learn from it, which really isn't that bad of a worse case now is it?
A one phrase summary for this whole video is: Let it go.
but how? How do you let go? What does it even mean?
@@usuarioanonimo85 this tbh everyone says let it go and nobody explains how
it really is about relaxing......anxiety fuck that you don't need that. Let that shit go HARD because it's so goddamn crippling (I learned this the hardway dealing with a socially anxious ex lol.) let that shit go! Nobody needs that crap. Relax and be. KNOW when to talk but also FEEL the situation and know when to shut your mouth. It's really a balancing act.
Legend
Thank you, I needed to hear this
I think what kills authenticity is ..analysis.When were kids our analitical skills were low..but as we grew analitical skills try and take over...making us to analyse almost each and every action we do socialy.
absolutely
Bingo. This is why being drunk allows us to be social vastly more easier, depending on the person obviously.
@@Toppgg-ci9er Jesus Christ this felt really fast
Bro u ain’t have to talk about me like that ☠️
Smart brother
I have massive social anxiety even when talking to my parents or friends. For me, what constantly helped is to be present at the moment and focus my attention to the other person. In that way, I would not be so overwhelmed with my thoughts of messing up and choking up my words.
I do the same thing and it works wonders but with adhd it really sucks 😢
@@dragoncalloway227meditate 15 min twice morning and night and pray to jesus christ ❤
That is mindfulness. It is a very good skill. But in my case being mindful gives me more anxiety so my mind is always distracted/dissociated
I have anxiety too
Get out your comfort zone embrace discomfort and expose yourself to the world
I feel like my more introverted friends fall into these exact pitfalls where they are concerned about showing their anxiety in more public settings when, with friends, they don't have that issue and are practically indistinguishable from an extrovert or someone who is great with people. It's like guys, just do that but with new people. Great talk!
A great way to let go is to view social interactions as opportunities to improve rather than an attempt to impress someone.
Or even improve others (but not in a preachy way).
Masterclass. “Being yourself” is simple, but hard to understand.
You made an amazing job at explaining it.
i first watched this video around 6 months ago. tried focusing on the vibe, didn't work. these days, i've been trying to change my approach and work first on my negative thoughts. it took a lot of effort, but it worked. i stopped trying to be someone else. i'm totally in the moment and never felt like i run out of things to say. turns out if i just wanna nod and smile, the other person has no problem with it. it felt so freeing. this video is what came into my mind after succeeding. you're a genius, julien!!
00:00 🎓 Social skills are developed through real-life experiences rather than just academic knowledge.
01:38 📚 To improve social skills, talk to more people than you naturally would.
02:05 💡 Authenticity is foundational to developing social skills.
04:15 🧠 Social skills consist of 80% emotional skills and 20% analytical skills.
06:03 🎈 Letting go is crucial for becoming socially adept.
08:00 💡 Vibe is more important than content in social interactions.
10:56 🛠 Work on authentic expression rather than relying solely on tips and tricks.
16:07 🌟 Prioritize sharing what genuinely interests you to create engaging conversations.
21:34 🎉 Authentic enthusiasm can make any topic engaging in conversation.
actually , AWESOME MATE.
Funny how you watch all these motivational videos, exercise, discipline etc and this video just reminded me of a more natural way to be grounded and myself. Sure all those others are important but letting go, always gets me. Thanks man. Subscribed
Thank you! And welcome to the channel! 🙏
i get the joke but havent let go yet! Subscribed!
Hey! Yesterday I felt like a social natural. Expressing myself without fear of judgement trusting my intuition. Best I’ve felt in 4 years. It happened either after catching up on sleep, releasing pent up anger, the exercise I did, or release of social resistance and I’m not sure which one, or where to find help.
Releasing/letting go is the way... 😉
I’ll work toward that. Thanks Julian!
The most successful moments are always a combination of things. So it was likely a mix of all of them. I consistently find I perform better socially when I'm eating healthy, getting good sleep, keeping on a work out schedule, keeping away from porn and keeping going out
how did u release this anger?
As I listened, I formed a little mental reminder for myself: the problem with relying on technique, is that you're relying on technique.
That is, you never actually express the real you, and you never really grow in skill. You lean heavier on the crutch and thus, depend more on the crutch.
This is the most important thing ive been trying to internalize. I thought I could be successful just with my technical knowledge & skills. Boy was I wrong.
Glad this was insightful! 🔥👊
I started working out lately and I’ve found new confidence and love for myself. I think this is my next challenge. I need to breakout of my mental/social prison I’ve put myself in. I’m gonna try and talk to 5 people a day. Whether if it’s at work or at the store.
UA-cam needs to push this awesome guy. Never seen so much realness.
🔥🔥🔥
I feel social anxiety, I let it pass. I allow it. I expect it. It’s part of all of it. I remind myself it’s gonna happen and it’s totally cool. No more overthinking it.
In fact, I’m realizing when you take the lead in conversing, I learn everyone was looking for that leader. And, shockingly, the top conversation topic is this kind of value.
WOOW THE START IS STR8 TO THE PT AND THE WAY U CONVEY URSELF IS JUST SO GRIPPING AND ATTENTION GRABBING i love you dude. Forever ♾️
Thanks! Glad this speaks to you! 🔥👊
courage>experience>knowledge>time>competence>confidence and the cycle repeats
Wut?
This was true for me. I was a kid with ADHD, very energetic, goofy but had lots of friends until I was 12 and in a new area, new school. At home, parents fighting all the time, at school bullying nonstop, got medicated too, put in therapy & told to constantly think about my actions & quirks & work on them. So was in my head 95% of the time. Made friends with very cynical, insular people as well, dudes who were basically edgelords. As time went on I was miserable & lonely. Only later on, in my late 20s when I started to deliberately remove those friends from my life, focus on being myself, not hiding the real me anymore, just trying always to let my chatterbox, silly, more kinda out of control goofy energy flow freely, being more comfortable rambling on about something I'm fanatical about, did I meet people who have become genuine, loving friends who have done much more for me than anyone else in my life as far as making me feel valued and valid.
Hearing real-life success stories is so motivating! It's inspiring to know that others have gone through this journey and experienced positive transformations. Definitely feeling more empowered after watching this.
7:10 Bro, perfect point! Once I analized and came up with this idea, I started to notice how I was, without knowing, sabotaging my feelings. I suffered a loooong time of traumas throughout my childhood and I had a repressed anger bcs my parents and relatives always neglected It. When I was youger I'd be always taught not to be aggressive even in very hard times - then, soon I'd develop a low self-steem because I wasn't able to stand up for myself. They say that people who are phisicaly or verbaly assaulted shouldn't be aggressive and hit back it, but, guess what, you'll be always the humiliated and the helpless in that story.
Somewhere between a waitress, bartender, care rental agent , or ANYONE who deals with the public, which I minimally did, learned how people are and feel, which also makes you learn about yourself
This is just insane. So much wisdom depicted in a super relatable way. Thank you
I realized that i have fake voice,hiding my real voice,I decided to let my voice come out and now I feel like a magician at talking,and my nerves have deminished 80%.I approve this message
this is crazy, he is addressing all the things i struggle with. thanks so much
man, from now on you're the only self-help youtuber i believe. all these youtubers here and there just throw vague advices without any consideration on how it'll effect the watcher. thanks for the realness, we really need that in our fake world.
In a few minutes I've learned more about social skills from you than I have in the last year. God bless!
Just like most people these days say: I rarely leave a comment, but this time it made me to do so, lol.
I’m glad that I watched this video. “Glad” is understated in expressing of my joy right now.
I want to keep listening until I master “expressing my authentic self”. When I was a kid, I used to read rap lyrics and my sisters used to admire saying that I am so cool, even though I was the least good looking and smart among them (that’s how I used to think of myself). But that time I used to enjoy doing things that would make me feel happy. When I stopped doing things what I love, I became distant from my authentic self and I acquired more and more new qualities that were not even me. I became just “others” like my family used to compare and say I’m not like “others” and I have wonderful qualities, but I lost my authentic self. You might ask me how I know. I know by how I’m interested more in other people rather than my own interests. (Just my thoughts here). Long conversation short, I love the simple “LET GO” you mentioned and hopefully I can go back to my authentic self when I was 11 years old last time. Thank you!🙏🏽
I feel like once you master the vibe the content will come more naturally and effortlessly. Love your videos they are becoming a game changer since I started watching them.
The most interested person in the room is the most interesting
Even though I am experienced enough approaching and conversations, these videos by far, are much much better than the 99% garbage from the other channels. This is well thought out.
Thanks! Glad this was so helpful!
this Video was so helpful for me. I'm a bit socially awkward. Can't connect to people easily. But this video gave me some motivation to go out and talk to people and be myself instead of pretending "cool" or "perfect".
I think youve really hit on something fundamental with your transformation philosophy. I think humans have disconnected from their identity over generations of people not investigating themselves and stumbling onto something that works without understanding the why. People just consume content thinking that will change how they behave somehow. If they know how intellectually then they know how to operationally which I think is the fallacy. The doing can only be learned by doing it! The mind vs the heart. The mind learns how through language, the heart learns through action.
🔥👊
Thinking is the language of the brain and feeling is the language of the body
This video really improved my understanding!
letting go is the key i give you that im an introvert who made some progress socializing why letting go is the key? bcs when u let go u should do it currectly i suggest meditation it brings you back to the real state that u should be. for me meditiation is like magic
How is that people don’t understand this, I am sick of all the bs other youtubers give you, they clearly don’t know what they talking about, thank you
I just realised, this dude has reavealed my strategy of being better socially😮 i mean he is talking exactly like my own thoughts.. listen to his advice, i can confirm is legit.
My take away is that reference experiences is the factor. In shift you said field experience is king. Most of us just don't practice the reference experience and then break down the reference to see where our possible sticking points are. We are lazy, entitled, and that's why we don't have the success that you do. But I have had success thanks to you, rsd, Barnes and noble, and UA-cam, and kombaucha 😉
hey what does reference experiences and field experiences mean?
@@amaanahmed7376 going out in the real world and having real field experience rather than reading books theory or talking to someone online
Gotta get that Kombucha in.
@@ayushsenseisama shit's wild how effective it is. Lol nobody thinks about this shit. Just go out try it and see what works.
He said that emotional skills and vibe is 80% of success and that comes from inner work and removing internal blocks - not getting in a tonne of reference experiences and analyzing them logically
Yeah, that's it. Energy above everything and the details fall into place.
Julien. Hello. I absolutely adore your blunt-Ness. I went to a birthday party today and realized...my social skills suck. I've not watched anything else on social skills. No need. I really like your style. Thank you. Can't wait to see what happens.😊
This guy just saved my social skills, i reallt thought that it was just about apllying some random shit of dale canegie ( for example) to become good socially but this really changes my whole view on the matter, thank you truly.
I'd say the vibe can go above 80% in many cases. There was one time I was talking to my friend about EMPTY BOTTLES in my room, how many were there, how to take them out of the room the most effective way etc. The topic was boring af and yet the vibe made it really interesting.
My 1 tip is to manage a way to be an observer, rather than to be observed. My nr 1 trigger for anxiety is i feel observed all the time and sort of am in a mindset of being observed by others. I have learned now to be able to feel like an observer instead, and when people look at me or talk to me, i can now actually feel calm, because i am studying them, rather than feeling like they are constantly studying me, and reading my mind, realising i am terrified😂 a good way to do this (for me) is to raise my cheeks a bit as if i am smiling with my eyes, and then instead of looking directly at the person, look slightly in front of the person. This relaxes my whole face, and my eyes don't get bigger as if i am scared, and i am able to relaxe. Not eating processed foods and candy helps ALOT aswell.. carbs in foods like rice is ok, but processed sugars makes my body unable to handle even the mpst basic of social interactions😂 not eatimg sugar for a few days makes me able to handle all sorts of mental and physical struggles much better
Just being honest when I first saw some of your clips, I thought you were another obnoxious self help guru. Yesterday I decided to watch an actual video and I’m hooked. I’ve watched about 9 videos fully since yesterday. Growing up I was socially anxious and extremely self conscious. I couldn’t even walk in to a crowded McDonald’s. Once I got my first job in Sales; it was exposure therapy since then. I sucked terribly at first but slowly I got better. I realized I didn’t get better at sales I was just letting more of myself shine through. People buy you not the product. I know this branched off weirdly but I landed a huge client today and I’m on cloud 9. I just want to say I like what you’re doing and keep it up brother. Stay safe and dilate that anus
Love you buddy❤️
🙏🙏🙏
"I talked to more people than probably all of you combined" sounds modest to me !!
Simply stating facts… 😉
@@JulienHimself I apologize man, I did a judgement on your person and after watching the entirel video I learned some things I didn't know, my mistake 🙏👍
Best social skills guy on UA-cam
I'm an Uber driver so I've spoken to over 7500 people in 4 years. This naturally made me more comfortable talking to strangers. I'm still introverted but I can choose when to be social and when not to be. Usually, it's a feeling for me.
I stopped talking about the things that I like because I realized that no one cared and that I was pushing it onto other people. hmmm
You can either
experience the pain of
discipline or the pain of
regret. The choice is
yours.-Unknown🎯✅
Interesting quote, but what was your main takeaway from THIS video? 😉
Both are pain? How’s one better
@@Wtfisahandle344 Discipline makes you strong in the ways of feeling it through.
Feeling the pain of regret keeps the pain going in a loop until you heal
Best video you've posted in years Julian! I received Ten-Game as a Christmas Present from a friend back in 2016, it changed my life.
Please keeping doing these Julien. Based and helpful as hell thanks man
This video is very helpful, but not enough for those who have very poor speaking skills. It's kinda more for intermediate or pre-intermediate speakers.
I would suggest journalling for zero beginners (who cannot say even two sentences well). You can journal things that interest you to develop a vibe or journal everything in the way I did.
The next is audio recording. Record yourself speaking of any topic of your desire
Do those and go for practice in the real world you will be fascinated with the results. Good luck!
I Would Turn the clock Back Time And To Change My Childhood Past Memories And I Want To Getting Social Skills In Life 😊😊😊😊
In my honest opinion, watching what other people do and taking note of it has helped me a lot more than any other advice.
The number one thing that I noticed people do, and has helped me so far is to simply just speak your mind to other people. Don’t give one word answers and don’t ask a bunch of questions like you’re a detective.
Just say whatever comes to mind (with common sense of course). It worked for me.
I call it the julien rule! 😃 ...."The let it go rule"...A monumental social skill
This is the most useful video I’ve seen so far, thank you.
So much value for free. Wow! Thank you
this video shined light on so many things i never even acknowledged wow this is great
My social skills are horrible. I joke too much and act too silly. My problem is that I love to laugh and make people laugh.
I understand you,I'm in your exact situation 😢
Im having the same problem rn
I feel like im stuck at mountain Dew 💀
Bro if you can make people laugh your social skills are at the right place
Honey , it means u r a people pleaser u want attention and acceptance
Not like I'm a coach or anything, but I am, and I agree with pretty much everything you say. I've been trying to explain to friends and family why I am the way I am (authentic and not trying to be liked for the sake of it) but the response is always "grow up" which is kinda funny, because it's exactly what I feel towards most fake ppl. Great video 👍🏼
Yooo as soon as he started talking about taking a shit I swear to god it turned into a South Park episode
Look having a conversation is essentially easy in my opinion, I dont struggle with the anxiety I guess. Thats not hard to overcome my vocal tonality and body language is great, but if the topic they choose or I choose I dont know enough about, you can only let go for so long until nothing is there.
Thank you. Very informative and accurate.
I literally do not know what to forreal talk about when im talking too people.
My social skills are trash.
I just have nothing to talk about.
I got out alot.
I go to shows and bars and just never have anything to say or keep a conversation going. It sucks.
Maybe try saying all of this that you just said, I would be interested and impressed with your depth of authenticity!
you are an angel
Im awesome at letting go, I can do that no problem, I need crap to talk about. Nobody wants to talk about my job, since I am socially anxious that is all I know to talk about.
This is amazing. Thank you sir
This video touches on everything you need to know about social skills. Great Video!
Thank you!
Just a month listening to julian I have seen so much improvement. I was talking to this girl she said what I say is not really funny but how I say it makes her laugh.
1. Let your desires go, 2. Reinforce the mood (and keep your talking to things that you are passionate about), and 3. Profit?
Masterpiece, I will try to apply these ideas in real life for sure. Congratulations on your work Julien, it is really significant because it improves people's lives I wish you much success and happiness.
You are teaching reality to people who need the tips and tricks...
Truth is hard to swallow for me in this one
Introduction: Real-World Experience Over Theory (00:00)
Part 1: The Importance of Inner Work and Authenticity (00:44)
Developing Social Skills Through Interaction (01:24)
Why Pretending Hurts Your Confidence (02:08)
Breaking Down Social Skills: Emotional vs. Analytical (03:34)
Letting Go: The Key to Becoming a Social Natural (05:55)
Vibe vs. Content: Focus on the Energy You Project (07:42)
Letting Go: How It Reclaims Energy and Willpower (11:05)
The Importance of Vibe Over Content in Social Interactions (13:18)
Avoid Being a Social Scammer: Highlight Who You Are (15:32)
Why Relying on Momentum Hurts Your Social Confidence (16:57)
Challenge Yourself: Talk About Boring Things with Passion (18:32)
Real Example: How Passion Makes a Difference (19:07)
Story: The Game of Thrones Fan and the Power of Passion (20:34)
Thank you for explaining this thoroughly!
You’re very welcome!
I would like to share my experience,i think that will help people->Many things that I thought were the truth,were actually creations of my mind,I got caught in my thoughts,I lived in my thoughts,thinking that thinking more is gonna help me.But what I thought was the truth,was just "my thoughts".So
1)Your thoughts(and your emotions) are not the real world.The real world is "What happens".If something hasnt happened,its not the truth.It becomes the truth when it happens.For example,If you think you are akward or socially disabled or weird,thats just YOUR THOUGHT.If other people dont consider you weird,or are weirded out by your behavior,then you are not weird untill its proven,until it happens repetitively,until it becomes a pattern.Everyone acted weird in their life,once twice thrice.Everyone.But actions dont determine who you are.What you decide to continue doing,is who you are.
2)Yes the human mind is very well adjusted to connect socially with other people.But it needs training,especially if you were never taught to do so when you were a kid.When you train how you speak,and my favorite one using your facial expressions and body language(and the SMILE is the most powerfull social tool),you will naturally become more expressive,your speech and your body language will have a natural flow
3)Dont suppress emotions.When you are alone,let all the emotions and the thoughts that come with it ,hit you.Dont try to avoid it by playing games,or doomscrolling on social media,let the emotions hit you.And then analyze what you are thinking.If you dont,those emotions will start to control you,and will sabotage every attempt of socializing
Wow - what an inspirational speech!
¡Esto es lo que no había visto hasta ahora! ¡Por fin lo entiendo! Mi mayor error siempre ha sido tratar de compensar mis iseguridades y mi ansiedad tratando de razonar cómo debo actuar en vez de DEJARLO IR _(letting go)._ Siempre he sido consciente de ello, en realidad, pero ahora estoy convencido de que lo que más va a aumentar mis habilidades sociales y me va permitir vivir en el presente es aprender a expresar mis emociones sin miedo, sin juzgarme.
Lo que me queda por descubrir es qué ejercicios me pueden entrenar progresivamente para lograr dejarlo salir de forma natural. Creo que participar en un coro me ayuda bastante, porque estoy entrenando mi respiración y sacando la voz desde adentro. ¿Qué más? Algo que debería practicar sin dudas es la meditación. La meditación, además de aumentar la capacidad de mantener la atención también se dice que permite escuchar o sentir tu mundo interior. No es lo mismo analizarte que permitirte sentir lo que te sucede sin bloquear nada.
Jesus love you always Jesus always behind you will give you courage and strengths ..
Juicy essence reminder, thanks a lot
I can't believe that this content is free.
Powerful video. Letting go is so powerful. Thank you.
Thanks for the video
But saying "let go" is like telling someone with depression to "be happy"
My confusion with it is that by letting go I generally have nothing to say. And within that state I’m just observant. Which is boring. However, there are things that could be memorized that allow a true nature or personality to be expressed. Then you you’re able to be in that state without even thinking
Yeah same problem. This is why i memorize prompts to use pattern recognition in conversations.
Not really.
no literally. “be authentic. let go. be yourself.” we know ts justtt feels impossible and you’re the only person that can figure it out for yourself. might as well be telling a homeless person to get a job
I love how free he is lol
This was actually amazing ! Learned alot
Thanks for this gem💎🔥, really helped me understand a lot about myself❤
Glad it was so helpful!
80% vibes 20% authenticity
Disney was right with Frozen “Let it Go” 🎵 😂
I cant remember the last time i started a conversation with someone of my own free will. Im in college now and feel like a shadow of myself. When my family came with me to drop me off for the semester, I was able to talk loud, laugh, and not care what ppl were thinking of me. The moment they left though its like im not even me. Im over analyzing how my face looks to ppl, how im walking, trying to make sure not to look at ppl too much and even looking the other way. When im myself i love eye contact but not when im mr. fake asf. im just now trying to get myself out of this bs so hoping it goes well xp
This is great! 😊
I like your shirts and haircut !!! 👍
With the "Hey, my name is Jeremiah" part I feel personally attacked 🤣🤣🤣...lol good shit 👌
I know I have to talk to people more than just being nice, but i have no idea with whom I can talk and how I should start a conversation with a stranger.
Great content. This guy is most funny when he doesn’t try to be. It’s great.
Great vid❤
What if my authentic self is to not wanting to talk to certain people because it doesn't interest me but I have to because of work/events etc. I mean, I am authentic by not wanting to engage with them however I have to.
"Letting go like taking a 💩!!!" I like this guy's metaphor😅😅😅😅😅
Love this guy. Talks straight facts.
A good way to talk to more people is to get a face to face customer service job
I notice that i can quite easily read others, i understand what they want the interaction about, but I simply cannot come up with an answer to their desires fast enough, i lose their respect after few failed attempts and that annoys me, if I could just pause time and give myself a few extra 5-10seconds each time to think faster, i think my social life would be just fine. Also one other thing is I enjoy learning about others usually, but i don't really like them knowing about my life. I prefer to stay on surface level and keep them guessing who I could be rather then letting them actually know who I am because most of the time, the image I give out is better then what I am at home.