My husband is dying. I feel like the world is crashing down. But i keep reminding myself to look for beauty. Whenever i go outside i look to the mountains or at the sky, at my kids. I'm trying to stay present and appreciate the good things that are here. Because there ARE good things.
Oh how I wish I could give you a mental hug, my goodness what a hard situation you have been given and how beautifully you choose to approach it. Whenever you feel like it is do-able, I warmly recommend (if you have not yet) looking into the death positivity movement. Especially if you are american, it might really resonate with you. It is about how we can approach death and dying in a more tolerable way, speak about it openly, and grieve in all sorts of ways. I really hope you have a strong support network, and if it isn’t near you physically, you can find so many resources online. I wish you and your family all the best. I hope for your husband a loving, supportive environment to go through end-of-life with, which from what you have mentioned, sounds like he has. ❤
One mantra that helps me when I am really anxious about a big work thing like a pitch, an interview, a presentation etc. is: you have already gotten through the hard part (the preparation, the years of skill building, the writing the speech, whatever it is), this is the easy part. It helps to put things in perspective of all the hard work you have put in and how you are actually prepared for what you are about to do.
Jesus Christ Caroline. I came for the design, stayed for the sass and am now coming back over and over again for the therapy. Fuck yes. The body-centric convo is bringing me life. And I'm so stoked to get a good exercise/movement coach recommendation.
Pausing at the likability conversation to comment a reflection I’m having in the moment; If I can be ok with not being liked, but still expect people to not completely write me off or cancel me out of their lives, can I then offer the same grace to someone I find myself not liking? Not liking something that someone said or did in a moment shouldn’t necessitate cutting them off, or them cutting you off. This is an opportunity to grow my capacity for forgiveness and grace, for myself as much as for others. Simple yet revolutionary, thank you Caroline!
To add onto this: I find it helpful to form my opinion of a person based on patterns, not moments. Everyone makes mistakes. We're all human. If someone screws something up, if someone does or says something I don't like, I'll observe that, but I'll reserve my opinion until I've known them for a while and I've seen whether their actions/words are a pattern or a bad moment. This has really helped me with making snap judgments and giving people grace. None of us are perfect.
what a great reflection. i'm a big fan of this. i think i used to write people off a lot more when i was younger, if people didn't do/say exactly what i thought they should (ridiculous). and now i see people with a lot more nuance, and it has brought so much goodness into my relationships. we can all be annoying at time, or flawed, short sighted, mouthy, ungenerous or ignorant in moments. there's not one among us who is innocent of all of these. not one
My grandfather gave my mom this mantra, and she gave it to me: "Don't borrow trouble" - there's no point in worrying about things that you can't do anything about.
My sister in law just gave birth to triplets, and what you mentioned about pregnant women simply becoming vessels for something more important really struck me. I have made it a goal of mine to not only prioritize the babies and help with them, but to make sure SHE is taken care of, physically and mentally/emotionally. She is her own person and I love her outside of the amazing things she has accomplished ❤
On the same note, when I was pregnant with my first child I still remember what my mom said to me, I take care of you so you can take care of your baby. She helped me cook, helped me wash the dishes and clean and listen to all my rants about how it felt to be a new mom. She let me have the space to learn how to navigate all that with her support if I needed it. The best gift she has ever given me.
i'm glad it resonated. obviously i haven't experienced this all first person, but it something that irks me to witness. and we all play a part i think. i'd love to see some adjustments to this in the culture and im sure it will take time but im hopeful
Jessie Harrold just released her book ‘Mothershift: reclaiming motherhood as a rite of passage’ and I highly reccomend it (and her podcast called The Belonging Podcast)
I recently read something that said (im paraphrasing): if you love yourself fiercely, then what others think about you is inconsequential . I think that is such a great way to flip the switch on wanting to be liked. It's way more important to love yourself like no one else can!
I just got some devastating news about a job I really wanted (that I did not get) and I swear I was just sadly looking out the window when Caroline said "Look at me!" and I looked at her and she said "You are on the ride you are supposed to be on". That hit hard man. Thank you
i really believe it. and im sure that's still a devastating turn of events. you can be devastated right now if you need to be, but just remember *this is not the final feeling*. there is more coming :)
“Not losing sight of the person “ also applies to aging or being “elderly”. I ask sometimes can’t I just be old but the best me that is comfortable with who I am. I don’t need to be a model at 75. I don’t need to run a marathon at 80
I just want to say how incredible this community is. I've been reading through the comments and got emotional seeing how many shared struggles and experiences we all have. Yet, despite that, we often feel so lonely. Caroline, you’ve built an absolutely amazing community here!
I was diagnosed with brain cancer last year (I'm 26 - it was an incidental finding on an MRI). That last thing you talked about, this idea of being on the right path, "don't steer, just ride" - it could not be more true. There are very few things in life that are actually within our control. You have to just let go and trust that whatever is happening to you is the best thing for your time on earth and your time after this life. It's the only way to stay sane when things go sideways. You always show such great perspective in videos like this, Caroline. Thank you for the little extra boost of encouragement!! Love you❤
I’m reading this in bed very late at night. And people post many, many tragic stories on this comment section for me to read. But something about you compelled me to write back. I don’t have much to offer but want to say I see you, I read your words, and I so very much hope you get good news about your diagnosis soon. And that you are filled with the love and care of good people in the meantime, and after. Sending you a very warm hug
@Andromedal14100 ~ ❤️🩹 - You are wise beyond your years; most people take a lifetime (if ever) to glean the wisdom you shared in your comment! I am so sorry doesn't even cover it - may you be one of The Lucky Ones who moves through and out of this cancer diagnosis with a full & long life ahead. Again, I am amazed & in awe of your mindfulness and overall perspective. Sending you healing vibes & warm hugs 🫂 from San Diego ... ❤️🩹
@@Caroline_Winkler you just made me cry a little bit❤ thank you *so* much! Tumor is gone, treatment's going very smoothly, and I'm feeling better than any of the doctors expected - the whole journey has been a very crooked kind of miracle. Thank you so much for the kind words and well wishes Caroline!!!
My mantra is ‘just show up’ because often I’ll overthink myself into not doing something. If I just go and see, it’s never as scary/uncomfortable as I think.
mine last year that i'm bringing into this year is "Just go find out" instead of over analyzing or assuming, i say to myself, well let's just go find out and then you'll know.
I purchased this house 7 years ago and immediately had the worst case of buyer’s remorse. I LOATHED it to my core. I decided I would slowly make it better. I rode the ride. And now, the final finishing touch was just completed (kitchen made more functional with a floor plan redesign) and I wouldn’t dream of moving out. In retrospect, purchasing this place was the best thing I could have decided.
i hope more people will post comments sharing their stories like this!! wow i loveeeee examples like these. thank you for sharing it! i think it's often annoying (understandably) to hear that your hardship wile i hope more people will post comments sharing their stories like this!! i'd definitely say that each of my torturous breakups made me the person i am here on youtube, plus brought me to a better partner in the end. losing out on my "dream career" brought me to a much more fulfilling life of purpose. painful distance with friends or family forced me to grow a deeper sense of self and of my own truth. the list goes on
Omgosh! This is me but just 6 mos in....I cry almost everyday bc some of the things are soooo hard. But failing is not an option. I'm grateful for this channel bc when I need a break from remodeling, I turn to Caroline for design inspiration and focus on making a small space beautiful. Thanks, Isabelle, for giving me a little hope!
@ I am so glad I could give you a glimmer of hope and encouragement. Believe me I was down in the dumps at first! The main advice I can give you is to not be in a rush to get things perfect in record time. Making a home for yourself is a labour of love, and it’s actually good if it takes some years. Enjoy the process. The slow creeping feeling of climbing the scales to a place of true love for the place you call home is the best feeling. Wishing you the best in your home journey. xx
my mantra is "does it serve you to be insecure right now?" it reminds me that stuffing down the tiny kernels of joy and carefreeness which I DO have with shame is a waste of time.
My mantra for healing, “you’re not that person anymore, let yourself grow” it really helps me be able to recenter myself and be okay with things changing and making room to forgive myself
No joke, when you started talking about the mantras, I started tearing up. "Do less" really hit hard as an anxious overtalker. I try to fix awkward social situations by filling the silence and end up hating myself for running my mouth. do less is just what I needed to hear. Thanks for putting out these thoughtful, centring videos amid the general chaos of the internet. A balm!
I’m always surprised at the nuggets of wisdom you impart that impact me a lot. As a lifelong fat woman, I’ve lost sight of myself and my needs. It’s always been about this body of mine. About weight loss and EDs and health and fitness and beauty and rarely about how I feel. In fact, how I feel is often the enemy of these things and so I hurt myself repeatedly and end up the same fat person but a very sad and self-hating one. *disclaimer: please do not reply with advice about my weight or eating. Keep it to yourself, chances are I have already heard it anyways.
@@KaleidoscopeMath my yoga teacher training where I learned this philosophical concept (celebrating 9 years teaching in a few weeks on Jan. 31!) has been transformative in my perception of self. Glad to hear the message hit home for you too 🫶🕊️🧘♀️
Hey Caroline, I know we don’t have any personal relationship, but I wanted to let you know how much you’ve encouraged me in my life. I’m in my early 20s, and you’ve helped me a lot-more than I can even explain. When my first relationship failed, I cried so much, and your breakup video was a huge comfort to me. Honestly, I even fell asleep to it once, and you popped up in my dream! After that, I started watching more of your videos, and they quickly became a source of joy for me. Your content is amazing for people who struggle with being alone, and I admire how honest and authentic you are. You’re so unapologetically yourself, and I just love that about you. I know the version of yourself you share on the internet might not be the full picture of who you are in real life, but you still come across as such an admirable and genuine person. After you shared your experience with dating apps, I decided to give them a try for the first time. It didn’t work out for me (lol), but it was still a valuable experience-it helped me realize I’m not quite ready to put myself out there yet! Now I’m going through another breakup, and honestly, it’s been really brutal. I hate to admit it, but I’ve been thinking about your videos again and watching them for comfort. I’ve been growing up alongside your journey, and I just wanted to thank you for sharing your life and inviting people like me to be a part of it. Thank you so much.
You'll get through it! I like using songs to get me through hard times, and I was so pissed I wasn't going through a breakup when "flowers" became popular. (Well, okay, I was pissed and I wasn't, if you know what I mean)
Loved that ending, "You're on the ride you are supposed to be on. Don't steer, just ride." I am 70 years old and it makes sense to me! I the one who lost her husband to suicide. But I am on the ride I am supposed to be on. Don't steer, just ride! ♥️☘️ I am here for a reason.
I'm so glad you aren't a private therapist helping only one person at a time. This was one of the most helpful "new year" videos I've ever watched. Truly. Thank you! ❤
A while back you said something so simple. I needed it at that moment to really stick with me (and smacks me every day on my monitor): "It not about you..... it almost never is." Love it!
this video made me emotional because I've watched so many of your videos more than once because they bring me a lot of comfort. Recognizing so many of the clips just made me realize how pivotal your channel has been for me since I found it. Whenever I feel really alone in the way I feel about a situation I think "Caroline would understand this feeling" and it actually makes me feel less alone. Thank you, Caroline! You've inspired me in so many ways...design, life, etc.
In lieu of a traditional resolution this year my family and I each chose one word that we want to channel (it’s kinda a combo of using a feeling as a goal AND a mantra). Mine for 2025 is “savour”.
I LOVE this method and that word. two years ago, I made monthly goal lists to guide my year grounded by one word that evoked the feeling I wanted to capture for that month. I've since transitioned from that method but continue it with less rigidity by choosing a word for the year, like you. mine is "dare." may we all "dare" to "savor" in 2025
I'm really ✨️holding space✨️ for both of these one-word mantras in 2025 (Savour, dare). Thank you! I will savour what feels good, tastes good, etc. Make room for what brings me joy & pleasure. And dare to try even if I fail, dare to do the hard things, dare to go on living and putting myself out there. I am an extremely anxious person and my shame, low self esteem and social anxiety have ruled my life for so long. Enough!
Boy, do I always think I'm on the wrong train! Lol "Just ride" will be my mantra for the year. I'll just ride and improvise! I'm a Russian living in Ukraine with my American husband and our two children. This year the war will be over I feel, I hope. Thank you for this video, Caroline! It has truly been therapeutic.
I get so happy every time I see you in your home (an honour to be invited really!) cause I remember you mentioned once in your video that you couldn’t actually afford to live there very long unless shit changed, and you still live there so DAYM GIRL THINGS WORKED OUT! Genuinely so happy for you!
I just discovered your content over the holidays while revamping my bedroom, and I’ve been hooked ever since! I’ve been binging your videos and sharing them with all my friends. We need more real, down-to-earth, and talented people like you in this space!
a mantra I started using when I started a stressful job was "one thing at a time" and it has gotten me through so much more than I could imagine for how simple it is
This came at the right time, a day before the second part of my immersion as a college senior. I was on the discomfort spectrum a few months ago where I pushed my limits because of the first part of the immersion. After getting through it, during my Christmas break, I was so much in the comfort spectrum. I isolated myself, pretty much neglecting my well-being because I was that scared to do anything. I didn't clean my room, didn't prepare for my immersion, didn't meet up with my friends, didn't do anything. All I did was sleep and indulged myself in this one video game. After watching this video for the first time, I got up from my bed and started cleaning my desk. Then I played your video again while cleaning, because it feels a little less daunting to listen to this. I'm sorry if this is so long, but if you've ever come across this, thank you Caroline (and to anyone else). You are a gift.
My mantra is, and has been for years..."This too shall pass." If I'm going through a difficult time, it helps to remember that it won't last forever. Conversely, but still true, if I'm happy and loving life and things are going my way, it helps to remember that that too could end. It makes me more mindful to live in the moment and appreciate the bliss. ❤
In the most brutal times in my life my mom would say “this too shall pass…” She’s gone now but SO many things she had said throughout my life guide and comfort me. Thank you for this reminder❤
I just started this last year but I decided to have a word of the year to guide me. Last year my word was simply 'effort'. I felt like while going through university I was constantly trying to simplify and save money and be efficient etc. but it cheapened my experiences many times. So with my guiding word of effort (and having more time and money at my disposal than I used to), I decided that when I was going to a social gathering I would bring a dish. Or if I was going to a potluck I would put more effort into cooking something delicious rather than something store bought that just goes in the oven. I hosted a halloween party and spent so much time making decorations and it was a huge hit! I went out of my way to try harder to dress myself well and present myself more 'put together'. I made a homemade soup in a jar for every single one of my coworkers for Christmas. I really loved this year of effort and felt that it added a lot of value to my own life and other people in my life! Putting effort into these aspects of my life inspired this year's word which is 'generosity'. :)
I just tried a random word generator because I love this idea (it sounds like your effort really paid off! Great job!) and I got... "lazy". 😶 I might reroll that one LMAO
Something I like to do is add a couple of “freebies” to my list of resolutions. These are things that are bound to happen during the year (e.g. graduating when I know I’m supposed to, renovating my license because it’s expiring this year, etc.) OR things that are simple enough that it would literally take a day or less to achieve but that I definitely need to do (usually home stuff like painting or fixing a broken door handle). When I get to cross these off my list, it’s a huge boost to my morale and usually leads to getting back on track with the rest of my list items. I’ve been doing this since 2020 and it’s been a gamechanger. I have never been able to fully tackle all of them, but I’m always at least halfway there which, to me, is a win. Wishing you a great year, Caroline! Happy to finally see your lovely face again, my friend ❤.
Love this so much! Sometimes it's helpful to calibrate a little more to building confidence and have a range, just like this. We can often get stuck in judging ourselves at our most difficult challenges, when we are actually 80% doing things right and capable
@nefertitimontoya Totally! In the era of social media, where all we see is girl bosses and people living their best lives (which we love for them) every single day, it's hard to remember that the journey is way more important than the destination. Celebrating those little victories helps me remember that getting to 100% is easier if I go 1% at a time. As Caroline wisely put it once: "I know what 'all or nothing' looks like... It looks like nothing."
I love the 'ride' mantra, it reminds me a lot of a quote from Ina Garten's memoir that came out last year "You never know your good breaks from your bad". I keep repeating this in my head ever since hearing it!
I tried listening to this in the background, but it's actually so good. Here are the mantras for reference: 1. Create habits based on how you want to FEEL 2. Be 5% less likable. Just try it, you can always go back to 100% 3. In relationships ask "What do you mean by that?" A bonus I like for myself when I'm spiraling is "What story am I telling about this?" 4. If you're used to discomfort, set limits. If you're used to comfort, go be alive and experience some discomfort. 5. for the anxious babies: Do less 6. What if I could accept this moment exactly as it is (as disappointing, frustrating, aggravating, sad etc as it is)? 7. Look at me! You're on the ride you're supposed to be on. Don't steer, just ride. "Don't steer, just ride" is literally going to help me do less, thank you so much, caroline. I need that last clip as a short lol 24:32
A mantra that helps me with my perfectionism: “Doing it well is good enough.” This helps me to let go of unrealistic or unattainable goals. I used to constantly overwork myself. Since I found this mantra, it has really paid off for me.
I’ve dealt with this and what helped me is the mantra ‘a done something is better then a perfect nothing’ how often I couldn’t even start a thing for fear I’d screw it up- but the doing is the good stuff. The getting something accomplished is the important thing- not that it’s perfect.
Caroline, you’ve made such a positive impact on my life. I was in a dark place for several years but decided that I was going to try to ‘live’ again in 2024 and a lot of the experiences/feelings/struggles you’ve shared were very relatable and helped me get through my own. Through your videos and podcast you’ve helped me shift my mindset and find the joy in life again, as well as accepting the tough parts too. I can’t express how grateful I am that you are willing to be vulnerable and share yourself. If you ever doubt yourself please know how much you’ve helped me and I’m sure countless others.
Caroline, the way you said, “Look at me. LOOK AT ME...........” at the end, made me burst into happy tears! It may have been the endorphins from the treadmill, but they were real! You said something I didn’t know I needed to hear and what a powerful, beautiful message it was.❤. “Just ride”. Thank you.
Your section on the phrase "what do you mean by that" is great! I have incorporated the phrase "Could you clarify that/Could you rephrase that?" I have a few people in my life who found the "what do you mean by that" to be a bit to harsh of phrasing while others found it to be the exact right amount of honest to spark real conversation. It's about finding the right phrase for the right people which is, ironically, exactly what the goal of the question aims for. Happy New Years, everyone!
I'm a simple girl. I see a Caroline video, I click. Also, it's not so much a mantra as a mini prayer but when things are particularly stressful, I like to remind myself that He is in control and to have faith.
Two quick thoughts because you're a busy woman (like myself) - 1) I found your channel maybe 6 months ago & you had maybe half as many subbies (350k?). I'm not surprised to see you blow up so much & so fast. You are incredible, relatable, funny, & make us all feel like we're hanging out with our bestie. Thank you for being you. 2) In those 6 months, you've brought so much healing into my life (via crying, laughing, introspection, whatever). Again, thank you for being you. In a world full of AI, it's refreshing to see realness. Stay genuine.
A mantra I developed when I started doing home reno projects is that nothing is so permanent that it can’t be fixed. If I install a ceiling light and realize I hate it, no big deal - I can just take it down, return it, and put the old one back in. If I tear down a wall and realize I want it back, I can just rebuild it. And the same goes for life. If you make a mistake, you can always apologize. If you make a change and realize it doesn’t align with your life goals, you can always revert. It might be hard, but difficulty doesn’t define possibility. And of course there is a range within reason for this, but yeah this is something that has brought me a lot of peace. Sort of my antithesis for perfectionism that has allowed me to try without feeling the need to stop myself because of the “what if I fail” fear.
My mantra is: "Perfect is the enemy of the Good. Good IS good." It helps me a lot with my creative endeavors and stopping perfectionism when it crops up.
a nice, concise rephrase of "you are on the ride you are supposed to be on. don't steer. just ride" is "release the tiller" (the tiller being that arm on the back of the boat you use to turn) i've had that on my fridge for ages. still so meaningful years later.
i cannot tell you HOW MUCH i love this. i had to repeat this comment to justin in the car this morning. i like this even more than "don't steer, just ride" because it really capitalizes on the CURIOSITY of "where is this boat gonna go?" and it makes me kind of excited to watch the show lol. love love loveeee this, i'm writing it down!
A lot of the time if I am having an anxiety "moment" its centered around feeling unsure about myself or my future. I like to remind myself that 'I am safe, I am secure, I have food, shelter, water, I am safe.' It kind of helps me put my concerns into perspective, like I am cared for right now and if I don' get into college I am safe, if I never do my laundry ever again I am safe, if i don't read 100 books this year I will be ok. It has really helped me overcome my obsession with failing at my goals or not having everything done right now.
Ugh, thank you for seeing pregnant woman who are struggling with the body element. I have a 3 month old and while he is the light of my life (as is my 9 year old), and I feel as if I’ve been thrown into this other side of pregnancy that too few acknowledge. Now that the baby is out, and everything and everyone revolves around the baby, I’m left over here as a shell of who I once remembered being. Fortunately I have almost a decade of experience between the births of my children and this time around I know how crucial it is to take care of self and not just body. This video is a gentle reminder on what it took me a decade to learn and then some. It was so insightful, truly. Thank you for your words, I believe they have and will reach who needs them and will be relatable for many regardless of stage in their journey. I wish I had this video when I was a 21 year old new mom but grateful I came across it now just as well. I might not have been able to grasp it then. Happy 2025 Caroline! 🎉
Over the last four years (well, 8 if I'm honest) our family mantra has been, "Just do the next right thing," to get through all the stuff. I just turned 50, and I'm ready for something else. Ready to grow, and not let what's happening in the world around me change how I pursue the life I want. It might be something like, "Run your own race."
Will be listening to this on repeat until these words are internalized. As a 32-year old, this is advice I have needed for decades. Thank you for always so eloquently reminding us to be gentle with ourselves ❤
One of my favorite Mantras is also a quote “At the end of the day… what you’re not changing, you’re choosing”. When I heard this quote it rocked my world.
Knowing you can't control if people like you or not has be one of the hardest things to wrap your head around. Thanka for being a slice of sanity on the internet, Caroline. Especially as this issue only seems to be amplified by social media.
These were great notes! I think of resolutions as opportunities, not to change, but to become more myself. Here are some mantras that have resonated with me when I'm going through something difficult (as a fixer too): - I feel so human right now - Everything is a practice - Did I expect life to be easy? No. This is the hard part. - These feelings are not inherently good or bad; they are signals my body is giving me
Oof. The last one about feelings. This is the journey I'm currently on; allowing myself to feel things, instead of stuffing everything down to be able to carry on... It's a hard pattern to break after 30years, and much more painful in the moment but I'm making myself "do the work" for me. I'm trying to teach myself that it's not selfish to fulfil my basic needs before helping others. Cinderella style CPTSD&traumas are a b....
I like that mantra, I'm on the right train. To take that metaphor further it's being okay with the stops, delays, maintenance, and upgrades. :) My mantra for this year is to just be. I was always striving and wanting to do things or be where I'm not and now I just want to be with me and enjoy where I am.
Not the wellness influencer that we expect, but the one that we NEED. Thank you for this wonderful, down-to-earth, practical, pragmatic set of advice. No mad consumerist content but gently inspiring and not stressful like other self-improvement content. I listen to this while lifting weights and feel nourished body & mind!
I remember that there was a girl I didn’t get along with very well in our group of friends and couldn’t figure it out. I mentioned it to my husband and he looks at me and said- “ you don’t have to like everyone !” It was the first time in my life I realized that everyone isn’t going to be my friend. Now the last 5-6 years I made a list of who I put my energy amd money into. My husband is first, then my kids, and our extended family. After that people are acquaintances and fun to hang out with. I also have learned to asked what people are thinking instead of assuming and it’s very good! I sure enjoyed this video!
a mantra that i came up with last year and really helped me, and i will now be using hence forth is: "Just go find out" just go find out. don't over analyze or assume or make fear based decision that paralyze me and keep me hidden and small. i told myself to just go find out and then i'll know. and it helped my fear and loneliness and confidence immensely! the decision paralysis and fear of failure or of choosing wrong can be greatly eased by just pointing at something and going like let's find out. a lot more i can say about this but it truly helped me.
I have been taking a similar approach for the last handful of years with what I call "themes". One year it was rest and I focused the whole year on learning how to rest, why it's important, and building it into my life. Another year it was prayer, learning how to pray and why it matters. 2 years ago my theme was stability, learning how to be a more mental and emotional person and all of the areas that impact that. This year it's consistency, I'm focusing on doing what I say I'm going to, on building the handful of habits that I have on my list, and overall being more consistent in finishing projects and even who I am day to day. This really works for me because it's broad enough that I can explore all of the different things that impact that theme, but specific enough that I'm actually working towards something. I've accomplished every single year since I started about 4 years ago.
Exactly-the only reason we want anything in life (material things, experiences, achievements, relationships, etc.) is because of the *feeling* we believe they'll give us once we have them. Happiness and contentment are truly *inside jobs*. The external things we may get, receive, be blessed with are truly icing on the cake. If we're not genuinely fulfilled within ourselves, even getting those external things won't be enough. We hear these stories all the time from people who seemingly "have it all". Happy new year, friends!
I'm also a sucker for New Year's resolutions, and had shifted my mindset around this year's to "what goals will make me feel healthier and happier." It's already feeling more achievable and positive than previous years' goals.
23:26 I understand what you're saying about the body, but here are my thoughts based on my experiences in life: sometimes it's easier and better to focus on the body, to initiate change in the person. Also, without the body, we do not exist. Our body is our vessel for our person, so focusing on the body can be life saving sometimes. And finally, the body remembers. It remembers a feeling, it remembers what it used to be able to do, and it constantly evolves. Sometimes it's easier to take the body out of its comfort zone, than to take the person out of its comfort zone. So I think sometimes it's good to start with the body, and the person will follow.
You know what? I am finding that to be true. My trainer guides me to do things with my body that I have never done or even been able to imagine doing. I had never done a push- up. The first one was just pure discomfort and fear. It took two workout sessions to do. He put a couple yoga blocks under my chest, and I could imagine that and pushed past the (irrational) fear. Then I did a push-up over one yoga block. The third workout, I dropped and did several push-ups over one yoga block as if I do them every day. My body knew it could do it. It surprised ME 🎉. My body led the way to me knowing I can do push-ups! And now I know. ❤
Your videos are essentially therapy.. only instead of talking about my problems, you just give me solutions I didn't know I needed. Thank you for presenting such a well rounded, grounded, world view on the internet.
My relationship evolved when I started saying “what do you mean by that” and then it completely changed when I started taking what he said initially as the meaning of it. I unintentionally try to understand what the underlying meaning is to things people say, when most often they mean exactly what they say. What a serious game changer
I'm watching this in a hotel as after being evacuated from the LA fires. Our house is still standing but not fully livable yet. Don't know when my life will return to normal or how my neighborhood will move forward from this. That section about accepting things as they currently are (and admitting that they may be terrible), really helped. Thank you
I don't know how it's even possible, but almost without fail, your videos come at the exact right time for me. "Just ride" is what a control freak anxious bubble of a human like me needs to hear. I'm currently looking for a new job and frustrated with how slowly it goes. But I have no control over other people's decision. So I'll try to just ride. Even if I forget it tomorrow and freak out again.
Some favorites of mine lately: 1. It is better to do something than to do nothing while waiting to do everything. 2. It's not necessary to react to everything you notice. 3. Walk like you have 3,000 ancestors behind you. 4. Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it. 5. Allow yourself to shine without the desire to be seen. 6. The person coming to save you is your healed self.
Me: I'm just gonna put Caroline's video on the background while I cook Caroline: Drops the video that is actually helping me with all my worries about the new year
Agreed. This year I am choosing the word “ANEW” and each Monday I will begin anew. Building on what I have felt good about in the past, and starting a different track for others until I find what works. I am also planning for this to start in February, because it’s face slapping cold right now and I don’t want to start except in my head. No shame. None.
A personal mantra, "Well, ive made it this far." Saying this allows me to rest and know rhat no matter what I do, even if i do nothing (especially if I do nothing), reminds me of all the stupid mistakes, disappointments, goals, and other things Ive agonized over. Some of fhose things needed a little agonizing, and others were little blips in time. But regardless, I made it this far. And that's all that matters. So no matter what, Ill continue to "make it" sgain, no matter what it looks like.
Hi Caroline! Apologies in advance for the paragraph 😅 I've been watching your videos for a long time and they have provided me with so much comfort and guidance, but I've never commented before! I'm a 22 year old medical student who has been sufferring with anxiety and emotional instability for the last few years. In recent months, I took a downwards turn and have only just recovered to a stable place. I also relate so much to your experience with previous toxic relationships and now being in a kind, safe, loving relationship but needing to grow new healthy habits and communication skills! Watching your videos always provides me with new tools and inspiration to take control of my life and keep on striving for a happier future. This New Year, before watching this video, I made only one resolution: to do less. I can't tell you how validating it is to hear that my gut instincts aligned with the advice you've shared about dealing with anxiety! The one mantra that I've found helpful in my most hopeless moments is: 'If I can overcome this challenge, I can overcome all challenges' I think it's useful for gaining perspective on overwhelming situations. Thank you so much for your vulnerability and honesty, I'm certain you are helping more people that you could know!
Thank you for this wonderful video Caroline. I struggle heavily with anxiety and I absolutely love how you speak about anxiety. Thank you for sharing your mantras and just being so real. So thankful for you and your channel ❤
I know you’ve spoken about the comfort/discomfort scale before and it really hit me. Because I definitely lean hard into the comfort end, and what I’ve realised in the past year is that it causes just as much discomfort if not more than if I’d allow myself to pivot in the other direction and be more open
1. These were such wonderful, generous insights, and I appreciated every single one of them. It's so clear how much care you put into what you offer to us. 2. My mantra for this year so far has been "gentle rituals, bold interactions" because that encapsulates all of my (very simple) goals in four words. 3. 26:17 was giving big Kath & Kim energy. iykyk. Thanks for another brilliant video, I hope 2025 treats you kindly and brings you everything you hope for!
My general mantra and goal this year is to go with the flow and accept what comes (not easy at all). Focus on myself, preserve my energy for my main priorities and intentionally stay single and learn to enjoy my own company. So your video perfectly aligns with that
From one Caroline to another, I don’t think you know how much I needed that. You literally said “do less”, and less has been the word on my mind as we enter the new year. Just less, in all aspects, to leave room for more. I’m thankful you reiterated that for me without evening knowing it! ❤ blessings for your new year!
Your videos not only make me smile and feel like I’m hanging with an actual friend, they have also been so helpful for me. The one about making friends as an adult that was shown a couple times in this vid-I come back to the advice you gave in that one all the time, and I’ve shared it with others. Things like, you have to find other people who are looking to make new friends, and it’s going to take some effort and maybe not be super fun right at the beginning… Sorry, I don’t know why I’m quoting your own advice back to you. The whole likability thing too-you are SO spot on. The “compliment” I get most is that I’m the “nicest person” newish acquaintances have ever met. And yeah, I want to be nice, but also…I want to be me! I want to have real relationships that matter and get below the surface-which I can’t have if all I can be is “nice.” Anyway, all that to say…Thank you again! Love you and your vids. This is one I’ll be rewatching as I continue to figure out this new year.
My husband is dying. I feel like the world is crashing down. But i keep reminding myself to look for beauty. Whenever i go outside i look to the mountains or at the sky, at my kids. I'm trying to stay present and appreciate the good things that are here. Because there ARE good things.
Oh how I wish I could give you a mental hug, my goodness what a hard situation you have been given and how beautifully you choose to approach it. Whenever you feel like it is do-able, I warmly recommend (if you have not yet) looking into the death positivity movement. Especially if you are american, it might really resonate with you. It is about how we can approach death and dying in a more tolerable way, speak about it openly, and grieve in all sorts of ways. I really hope you have a strong support network, and if it isn’t near you physically, you can find so many resources online. I wish you and your family all the best. I hope for your husband a loving, supportive environment to go through end-of-life with, which from what you have mentioned, sounds like he has. ❤
Oh my dear sweet girl…❤
Wishing you blessings and an abundance of love and support this year, love from a random stranger on UA-cam ❤
Sending love, light and continuous comfort to you and yours. ❤
I am glad you can see the good too!
The couch being moved absolutely shocked me
Same! I’m thinking I missed a video? Can we talk about the couch moving??? 😂
new year, new couch position
I think she just wanted to showcase all her decorations in the background while they are still up
I know, I had to lie down....
I must confess: I'm not emotionally invested in where she puts her furniture.
One mantra that helps me when I am really anxious about a big work thing like a pitch, an interview, a presentation etc. is: you have already gotten through the hard part (the preparation, the years of skill building, the writing the speech, whatever it is), this is the easy part. It helps to put things in perspective of all the hard work you have put in and how you are actually prepared for what you are about to do.
Reminds me of my mantra: "you've made it through every single hard day you've been through in the past, I am strong, I can do hard things"
Jesus Christ Caroline. I came for the design, stayed for the sass and am now coming back over and over again for the therapy. Fuck yes. The body-centric convo is bringing me life. And I'm so stoked to get a good exercise/movement coach recommendation.
Haha we all love a lil sass don't we 💃
Pausing at the likability conversation to comment a reflection I’m having in the moment; If I can be ok with not being liked, but still expect people to not completely write me off or cancel me out of their lives, can I then offer the same grace to someone I find myself not liking? Not liking something that someone said or did in a moment shouldn’t necessitate cutting them off, or them cutting you off. This is an opportunity to grow my capacity for forgiveness and grace, for myself as much as for others. Simple yet revolutionary, thank you Caroline!
Useful questions @heatheralton8420. The messages and questions Caroline suggests are always only one-half of the equation, albeit an important half.
To add onto this: I find it helpful to form my opinion of a person based on patterns, not moments. Everyone makes mistakes. We're all human. If someone screws something up, if someone does or says something I don't like, I'll observe that, but I'll reserve my opinion until I've known them for a while and I've seen whether their actions/words are a pattern or a bad moment. This has really helped me with making snap judgments and giving people grace. None of us are perfect.
Love these comments, very thoughtful.This is something I need to work on for sure.
Wow. I needed to hear this. Thank you!
what a great reflection. i'm a big fan of this. i think i used to write people off a lot more when i was younger, if people didn't do/say exactly what i thought they should (ridiculous). and now i see people with a lot more nuance, and it has brought so much goodness into my relationships. we can all be annoying at time, or flawed, short sighted, mouthy, ungenerous or ignorant in moments. there's not one among us who is innocent of all of these. not one
My grandfather gave my mom this mantra, and she gave it to me: "Don't borrow trouble" - there's no point in worrying about things that you can't do anything about.
I haven't heard it phrased in that way before. I dig it 👌
Those oldsters knew what they were saying. Mine too.
@ if only we youngsters listened to their advice *right* when we received it… 🙃
My sister in law just gave birth to triplets, and what you mentioned about pregnant women simply becoming vessels for something more important really struck me. I have made it a goal of mine to not only prioritize the babies and help with them, but to make sure SHE is taken care of, physically and mentally/emotionally. She is her own person and I love her outside of the amazing things she has accomplished ❤
On the same note, when I was pregnant with my first child I still remember what my mom said to me, I take care of you so you can take care of your baby. She helped me cook, helped me wash the dishes and clean and listen to all my rants about how it felt to be a new mom. She let me have the space to learn how to navigate all that with her support if I needed it. The best gift she has ever given me.
What a wonderful sister you are!
As a 9 months postpartum mom- you are the best kind of sister to have!
i'm glad it resonated. obviously i haven't experienced this all first person, but it something that irks me to witness. and we all play a part i think. i'd love to see some adjustments to this in the culture and im sure it will take time but im hopeful
Jessie Harrold just released her book ‘Mothershift: reclaiming motherhood as a rite of passage’ and I highly reccomend it (and her podcast called The Belonging Podcast)
I recently read something that said (im paraphrasing): if you love yourself fiercely, then what others think about you is inconsequential . I think that is such a great way to flip the switch on wanting to be liked. It's way more important to love yourself like no one else can!
I just got some devastating news about a job I really wanted (that I did not get) and I swear I was just sadly looking out the window when Caroline said "Look at me!" and I looked at her and she said "You are on the ride you are supposed to be on". That hit hard man. Thank you
❤
Yaaas!!! Very cool. And it's true. The right thing is coming to you.
i really believe it. and im sure that's still a devastating turn of events. you can be devastated right now if you need to be, but just remember *this is not the final feeling*. there is more coming :)
@@suzanchristiaanse8972 that gave me shivers
The Universe gave you a SIGN right there. Trust that any perceived "rejection" is protection and redirection 🙏
“Not losing sight of the person “ also applies to aging or being “elderly”. I ask sometimes can’t I just be old but the best me that is comfortable with who I am. I don’t need to be a model at 75. I don’t need to run a marathon at 80
this is a wonderful addition, thank you
I just want to say how incredible this community is. I've been reading through the comments and got emotional seeing how many shared struggles and experiences we all have. Yet, despite that, we often feel so lonely. Caroline, you’ve built an absolutely amazing community here!
I was diagnosed with brain cancer last year (I'm 26 - it was an incidental finding on an MRI). That last thing you talked about, this idea of being on the right path, "don't steer, just ride" - it could not be more true. There are very few things in life that are actually within our control. You have to just let go and trust that whatever is happening to you is the best thing for your time on earth and your time after this life. It's the only way to stay sane when things go sideways. You always show such great perspective in videos like this, Caroline. Thank you for the little extra boost of encouragement!! Love you❤
I’m reading this in bed very late at night. And people post many, many tragic stories on this comment section for me to read. But something about you compelled me to write back. I don’t have much to offer but want to say I see you, I read your words, and I so very much hope you get good news about your diagnosis soon. And that you are filled with the love and care of good people in the meantime, and after. Sending you a very warm hug
😞😘
@Andromedal14100 ~ ❤️🩹 - You are wise beyond your years; most people take a lifetime (if ever) to glean the wisdom you shared in your comment! I am so sorry doesn't even cover it - may you be one of The Lucky Ones who moves through and out of this cancer diagnosis with a full & long life ahead. Again, I am amazed & in awe of your mindfulness and overall perspective. Sending you healing vibes & warm hugs 🫂 from San Diego ... ❤️🩹
@@Caroline_Winkler you just made me cry a little bit❤ thank you *so* much! Tumor is gone, treatment's going very smoothly, and I'm feeling better than any of the doctors expected - the whole journey has been a very crooked kind of miracle. Thank you so much for the kind words and well wishes Caroline!!!
My mantra is ‘just show up’ because often I’ll overthink myself into not doing something. If I just go and see, it’s never as scary/uncomfortable as I think.
Really good mantra and I will add that to my list
mine last year that i'm bringing into this year is "Just go find out" instead of over analyzing or assuming, i say to myself, well let's just go find out and then you'll know.
My mantra that works for a lot of things/emotions: I am enough, I have enough, I do enough.
That covers all the bases ✨
I can only try
@ you are innately enough because you are you 🙏
“2025 is going to be a good ride for you. I promise.”
Thank you, Caroline. Sending warm hugs to you and yours.
YES, it is. Because we intend it to be so. 🚀
I read your comment as “2025 is going to ride you” 😂
@@LS56788 lolllll not the vibe 🤣
There you go making me cry at the end of the video. How do you make people feel so seen? It’s a gift. Thanks, Caroline. ❤
Exactly this! 🙏
I'm literally bawling.😢
Yep.
Me, too. ❤
Ditto
I purchased this house 7 years ago and immediately had the worst case of buyer’s remorse. I LOATHED it to my core. I decided I would slowly make it better. I rode the ride. And now, the final finishing touch was just completed (kitchen made more functional with a floor plan redesign) and I wouldn’t dream of moving out. In retrospect, purchasing this place was the best thing I could have decided.
Awsome! I liked my house but over the years with changes have really made me love my house too!
i hope more people will post comments sharing their stories like this!! wow i loveeeee examples like these. thank you for sharing it! i think it's often annoying (understandably) to hear that your hardship wile i hope more people will post comments sharing their stories like this!! i'd definitely say that each of my torturous breakups made me the person i am here on youtube, plus brought me to a better partner in the end. losing out on my "dream career" brought me to a much more fulfilling life of purpose. painful distance with friends or family forced me to grow a deeper sense of self and of my own truth. the list goes on
Amazing that the experience did a 180 for you and that your home now feels like home!
Omgosh! This is me but just 6 mos in....I cry almost everyday bc some of the things are soooo hard. But failing is not an option. I'm grateful for this channel bc when I need a break from remodeling, I turn to Caroline for design inspiration and focus on making a small space beautiful. Thanks, Isabelle, for giving me a little hope!
@ I am so glad I could give you a glimmer of hope and encouragement. Believe me I was down in the dumps at first! The main advice I can give you is to not be in a rush to get things perfect in record time. Making a home for yourself is a labour of love, and it’s actually good if it takes some years. Enjoy the process. The slow creeping feeling of climbing the scales to a place of true love for the place you call home is the best feeling. Wishing you the best in your home journey. xx
My favorite mantra is really a quote: Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
Okay wow that's really beautiful
I refer to quotes as mantras all the time 🙏
I totally forgot about this quote! Thank your for reminding me of it 🙏🏼
@ love this one too 💃 ⛈️
my mantra is "does it serve you to be insecure right now?" it reminds me that stuffing down the tiny kernels of joy and carefreeness which I DO have with shame is a waste of time.
Thats a great one, thanks for sharing!
My mantra for healing, “you’re not that person anymore, let yourself grow” it really helps me be able to recenter myself and be okay with things changing and making room to forgive myself
Thank you for sharing this; needed to hear this too. ❤
No joke, when you started talking about the mantras, I started tearing up. "Do less" really hit hard as an anxious overtalker. I try to fix awkward social situations by filling the silence and end up hating myself for running my mouth. do less is just what I needed to hear. Thanks for putting out these thoughtful, centring videos amid the general chaos of the internet. A balm!
I’m always surprised at the nuggets of wisdom you impart that impact me a lot. As a lifelong fat woman, I’ve lost sight of myself and my needs. It’s always been about this body of mine. About weight loss and EDs and health and fitness and beauty and rarely about how I feel. In fact, how I feel is often the enemy of these things and so I hurt myself repeatedly and end up the same fat person but a very sad and self-hating one.
*disclaimer: please do not reply with advice about my weight or eating. Keep it to yourself, chances are I have already heard it anyways.
I hope you find more peace with yourself this year 💗
We're all on a journey of coming "home" to ourselves. 🙏
@@KingaGorski I just love this. ❤
@@KaleidoscopeMath my yoga teacher training where I learned this philosophical concept (celebrating 9 years teaching in a few weeks on Jan. 31!) has been transformative in my perception of self. Glad to hear the message hit home for you too 🫶🕊️🧘♀️
Hey Caroline,
I know we don’t have any personal relationship, but I wanted to let you know how much you’ve encouraged me in my life. I’m in my early 20s, and you’ve helped me a lot-more than I can even explain.
When my first relationship failed, I cried so much, and your breakup video was a huge comfort to me. Honestly, I even fell asleep to it once, and you popped up in my dream! After that, I started watching more of your videos, and they quickly became a source of joy for me. Your content is amazing for people who struggle with being alone, and I admire how honest and authentic you are. You’re so unapologetically yourself, and I just love that about you.
I know the version of yourself you share on the internet might not be the full picture of who you are in real life, but you still come across as such an admirable and genuine person. After you shared your experience with dating apps, I decided to give them a try for the first time. It didn’t work out for me (lol), but it was still a valuable experience-it helped me realize I’m not quite ready to put myself out there yet!
Now I’m going through another breakup, and honestly, it’s been really brutal. I hate to admit it, but I’ve been thinking about your videos again and watching them for comfort. I’ve been growing up alongside your journey, and I just wanted to thank you for sharing your life and inviting people like me to be a part of it.
Thank you so much.
We need to see your space with your couch moved. What is now on the wall with the framed fabric samples?
Big relate!!! Sending you love for your breakup 💜💜💜
You'll get through it! I like using songs to get me through hard times, and I was so pissed I wasn't going through a breakup when "flowers" became popular. (Well, okay, I was pissed and I wasn't, if you know what I mean)
I've been thinking the same thing. That and "where is her table? Behind the couch?'
i appreciate this very much. touched and honored, thanks for being such a sweetness
Loved that ending, "You're on the ride you are supposed to be on. Don't steer, just ride." I am 70 years old and it makes sense to me! I the one who lost her husband to suicide. But I am on the ride I am supposed to be on. Don't steer, just ride! ♥️☘️ I am here for a reason.
Don't Steer, Just Ride, Ok? - How did such a simple sentence catch so well
As a horse girlie I love this lol ❤
Unless you're a consummate rider (like me) then maybe, steer a bit.
I'm so glad you aren't a private therapist helping only one person at a time. This was one of the most helpful "new year" videos I've ever watched. Truly. Thank you! ❤
My only resolution this year: be kind to myself and meet myself where I'm at without any judgement.
Hallelujah that's probably the best one I've ever heard 💖💖 Me too same
love this
A while back you said something so simple. I needed it at that moment to really stick with me (and smacks me every day on my monitor): "It not about you..... it almost never is." Love it!
this video made me emotional because I've watched so many of your videos more than once because they bring me a lot of comfort. Recognizing so many of the clips just made me realize how pivotal your channel has been for me since I found it. Whenever I feel really alone in the way I feel about a situation I think "Caroline would understand this feeling" and it actually makes me feel less alone. Thank you, Caroline! You've inspired me in so many ways...design, life, etc.
This !!!
it was emotional for me to go through the old footage! and it made me really want to vlog more again.....
In lieu of a traditional resolution this year my family and I each chose one word that we want to channel (it’s kinda a combo of using a feeling as a goal AND a mantra). Mine for 2025 is “savour”.
I LOVE this method and that word. two years ago, I made monthly goal lists to guide my year grounded by one word that evoked the feeling I wanted to capture for that month. I've since transitioned from that method but continue it with less rigidity by choosing a word for the year, like you. mine is "dare." may we all "dare" to "savor" in 2025
I'm really ✨️holding space✨️ for both of these one-word mantras in 2025 (Savour, dare). Thank you! I will savour what feels good, tastes good, etc. Make room for what brings me joy & pleasure. And dare to try even if I fail, dare to do the hard things, dare to go on living and putting myself out there. I am an extremely anxious person and my shame, low self esteem and social anxiety have ruled my life for so long. Enough!
this is so fun to do it with your family too
Boy, do I always think I'm on the wrong train! Lol "Just ride" will be my mantra for the year. I'll just ride and improvise! I'm a Russian living in Ukraine with my American husband and our two children. This year the war will be over I feel, I hope. Thank you for this video, Caroline! It has truly been therapeutic.
I get so happy every time I see you in your home (an honour to be invited really!) cause I remember you mentioned once in your video that you couldn’t actually afford to live there very long unless shit changed, and you still live there so DAYM GIRL THINGS WORKED OUT! Genuinely so happy for you!
I must tell you that I am going to rewatch this video each month of the year just for comforting reasons.
I just discovered your content over the holidays while revamping my bedroom, and I’ve been hooked ever since! I’ve been binging your videos and sharing them with all my friends. We need more real, down-to-earth, and talented people like you in this space!
Why when she said LOOK AT ME and gave us her comforting words make me tear up omg 🥹
Thank you for this video Caroline 💞
Same!!
Same!!!
a mantra I started using when I started a stressful job was "one thing at a time" and it has gotten me through so much more than I could imagine for how simple it is
This came at the right time, a day before the second part of my immersion as a college senior. I was on the discomfort spectrum a few months ago where I pushed my limits because of the first part of the immersion. After getting through it, during my Christmas break, I was so much in the comfort spectrum. I isolated myself, pretty much neglecting my well-being because I was that scared to do anything. I didn't clean my room, didn't prepare for my immersion, didn't meet up with my friends, didn't do anything. All I did was sleep and indulged myself in this one video game.
After watching this video for the first time, I got up from my bed and started cleaning my desk. Then I played your video again while cleaning, because it feels a little less daunting to listen to this.
I'm sorry if this is so long, but if you've ever come across this, thank you Caroline (and to anyone else). You are a gift.
25:42 "you're on the ride you are supposed to be on." this just made me cry happy tears, thank you so much for this.
I'm never here this early....... CAROLINE! WE LOVE YOU!!!
My mantra is, and has been for years..."This too shall pass." If I'm going through a difficult time, it helps to remember that it won't last forever. Conversely, but still true, if I'm happy and loving life and things are going my way, it helps to remember that that too could end. It makes me more mindful to live in the moment and appreciate the bliss. ❤
In the most brutal times in my life my mom would say “this too shall pass…” She’s gone now but SO many things she had said throughout my life guide and comfort me. Thank you for this reminder❤
a great one
I just started this last year but I decided to have a word of the year to guide me. Last year my word was simply 'effort'. I felt like while going through university I was constantly trying to simplify and save money and be efficient etc. but it cheapened my experiences many times. So with my guiding word of effort (and having more time and money at my disposal than I used to), I decided that when I was going to a social gathering I would bring a dish. Or if I was going to a potluck I would put more effort into cooking something delicious rather than something store bought that just goes in the oven. I hosted a halloween party and spent so much time making decorations and it was a huge hit! I went out of my way to try harder to dress myself well and present myself more 'put together'. I made a homemade soup in a jar for every single one of my coworkers for Christmas. I really loved this year of effort and felt that it added a lot of value to my own life and other people in my life! Putting effort into these aspects of my life inspired this year's word which is 'generosity'. :)
What a great idea!
I just tried a random word generator because I love this idea (it sounds like your effort really paid off! Great job!) and I got... "lazy". 😶 I might reroll that one LMAO
@@SimonJ-i6d haha what're the odds?! That's funny
Something I like to do is add a couple of “freebies” to my list of resolutions. These are things that are bound to happen during the year (e.g. graduating when I know I’m supposed to, renovating my license because it’s expiring this year, etc.) OR things that are simple enough that it would literally take a day or less to achieve but that I definitely need to do (usually home stuff like painting or fixing a broken door handle). When I get to cross these off my list, it’s a huge boost to my morale and usually leads to getting back on track with the rest of my list items. I’ve been doing this since 2020 and it’s been a gamechanger. I have never been able to fully tackle all of them, but I’m always at least halfway there which, to me, is a win.
Wishing you a great year, Caroline! Happy to finally see your lovely face again, my friend ❤.
Love this!
What a great idea!
I do the same thing and it's a great feeling to see almost everything checked by the end of the year! Almost like a simple yearly to-do list
Love this so much! Sometimes it's helpful to calibrate a little more to building confidence and have a range, just like this. We can often get stuck in judging ourselves at our most difficult challenges, when we are actually 80% doing things right and capable
@nefertitimontoya Totally! In the era of social media, where all we see is girl bosses and people living their best lives (which we love for them) every single day, it's hard to remember that the journey is way more important than the destination. Celebrating those little victories helps me remember that getting to 100% is easier if I go 1% at a time.
As Caroline wisely put it once: "I know what 'all or nothing' looks like... It looks like nothing."
I love the 'ride' mantra, it reminds me a lot of a quote from Ina Garten's memoir that came out last year "You never know your good breaks from your bad". I keep repeating this in my head ever since hearing it!
I tried listening to this in the background, but it's actually so good. Here are the mantras for reference:
1. Create habits based on how you want to FEEL
2. Be 5% less likable. Just try it, you can always go back to 100%
3. In relationships ask "What do you mean by that?" A bonus I like for myself when I'm spiraling is "What story am I telling about this?"
4. If you're used to discomfort, set limits. If you're used to comfort, go be alive and experience some discomfort.
5. for the anxious babies: Do less
6. What if I could accept this moment exactly as it is (as disappointing, frustrating, aggravating, sad etc as it is)?
7. Look at me! You're on the ride you're supposed to be on. Don't steer, just ride.
"Don't steer, just ride" is literally going to help me do less, thank you so much, caroline. I need that last clip as a short lol 24:32
A mantra that helps me with my perfectionism: “Doing it well is good enough.” This helps me to let go of unrealistic or unattainable goals. I used to constantly overwork myself. Since I found this mantra, it has really paid off for me.
I’ve dealt with this and what helped me is the mantra ‘a done something is better then a perfect nothing’ how often I couldn’t even start a thing for fear I’d screw it up- but the doing is the good stuff. The getting something accomplished is the important thing- not that it’s perfect.
Caroline, you’ve made such a positive impact on my life. I was in a dark place for several years but decided that I was going to try to ‘live’ again in 2024 and a lot of the experiences/feelings/struggles you’ve shared were very relatable and helped me get through my own. Through your videos and podcast you’ve helped me shift my mindset and find the joy in life again, as well as accepting the tough parts too. I can’t express how grateful I am that you are willing to be vulnerable and share yourself. If you ever doubt yourself please know how much you’ve helped me and I’m sure countless others.
That's a really nice note.
Caroline, the way you said, “Look at me. LOOK AT ME...........” at the end, made me burst into happy tears! It may have been the endorphins from the treadmill, but they were real! You said something I didn’t know I needed to hear and what a powerful, beautiful message it was.❤. “Just ride”. Thank you.
There’s a Jarina De Marco song in my workout playlist that has honestly given me a sick mantra for the year. “I am 100% and I’m only getting better.”
Your section on the phrase "what do you mean by that" is great! I have incorporated the phrase "Could you clarify that/Could you rephrase that?" I have a few people in my life who found the "what do you mean by that" to be a bit to harsh of phrasing while others found it to be the exact right amount of honest to spark real conversation. It's about finding the right phrase for the right people which is, ironically, exactly what the goal of the question aims for. Happy New Years, everyone!
I'm a simple girl. I see a Caroline video, I click.
Also, it's not so much a mantra as a mini prayer but when things are particularly stressful, I like to remind myself that He is in control and to have faith.
Two quick thoughts because you're a busy woman (like myself) -
1) I found your channel maybe 6 months ago & you had maybe half as many subbies (350k?). I'm not surprised to see you blow up so much & so fast. You are incredible, relatable, funny, & make us all feel like we're hanging out with our bestie. Thank you for being you.
2) In those 6 months, you've brought so much healing into my life (via crying, laughing, introspection, whatever). Again, thank you for being you. In a world full of AI, it's refreshing to see realness. Stay genuine.
A mantra I developed when I started doing home reno projects is that nothing is so permanent that it can’t be fixed. If I install a ceiling light and realize I hate it, no big deal - I can just take it down, return it, and put the old one back in. If I tear down a wall and realize I want it back, I can just rebuild it. And the same goes for life. If you make a mistake, you can always apologize. If you make a change and realize it doesn’t align with your life goals, you can always revert. It might be hard, but difficulty doesn’t define possibility. And of course there is a range within reason for this, but yeah this is something that has brought me a lot of peace. Sort of my antithesis for perfectionism that has allowed me to try without feeling the need to stop myself because of the “what if I fail” fear.
My mantra is: "Perfect is the enemy of the Good. Good IS good." It helps me a lot with my creative endeavors and stopping perfectionism when it crops up.
a nice, concise rephrase of "you are on the ride you are supposed to be on. don't steer. just ride" is "release the tiller" (the tiller being that arm on the back of the boat you use to turn) i've had that on my fridge for ages. still so meaningful years later.
i cannot tell you HOW MUCH i love this. i had to repeat this comment to justin in the car this morning. i like this even more than "don't steer, just ride" because it really capitalizes on the CURIOSITY of "where is this boat gonna go?" and it makes me kind of excited to watch the show lol. love love loveeee this, i'm writing it down!
A lot of the time if I am having an anxiety "moment" its centered around feeling unsure about myself or my future.
I like to remind myself that 'I am safe, I am secure, I have food, shelter, water, I am safe.'
It kind of helps me put my concerns into perspective, like I am cared for right now and if I don' get into college I am safe, if I never do my laundry ever again I am safe, if i don't read 100 books this year I will be ok. It has really helped me overcome my obsession with failing at my goals or not having everything done right now.
I am older than your parents, but enjoyed this video soooo much. This is “authentic “. You are brilliant!!
Ugh, thank you for seeing pregnant woman who are struggling with the body element. I have a 3 month old and while he is the light of my life (as is my 9 year old), and I feel as if I’ve been thrown into this other side of pregnancy that too few acknowledge. Now that the baby is out, and everything and everyone revolves around the baby, I’m left over here as a shell of who I once remembered being. Fortunately I have almost a decade of experience between the births of my children and this time around I know how crucial it is to take care of self and not just body. This video is a gentle reminder on what it took me a decade to learn and then some. It was so insightful, truly.
Thank you for your words, I believe they have and will reach who needs them and will be relatable for many regardless of stage in their journey. I wish I had this video when I was a 21 year old new mom but grateful I came across it now just as well. I might not have been able to grasp it then. Happy 2025 Caroline! 🎉
A mantra I remind myself of all the time: She who worries before is necessary worries more than necessary 💜
Over the last four years (well, 8 if I'm honest) our family mantra has been, "Just do the next right thing," to get through all the stuff. I just turned 50, and I'm ready for something else. Ready to grow, and not let what's happening in the world around me change how I pursue the life I want. It might be something like, "Run your own race."
Will be listening to this on repeat until these words are internalized. As a 32-year old, this is advice I have needed for decades. Thank you for always so eloquently reminding us to be gentle with ourselves ❤
Felt cozy as usual, inspired, understood, appreciated and dreamy. All while watching this vid!!!
One of my favorite Mantras is also a quote “At the end of the day… what you’re not changing, you’re choosing”. When I heard this quote it rocked my world.
This resonates with me so much! Doesn't have to have negative connotations either, because you can choose to change the next day.
@@dominikafrelkowska5264 Exactly!
The whole segment about “the body” was so helpful!
this feels like an older sister is giving me the pep talk i need for this year, thankful for you caroline.
It's so very kind of you to sit down and figure out how to communicate these helpful thoughts to us. Thanks, ya peach 😘
Knowing you can't control if people like you or not has be one of the hardest things to wrap your head around. Thanka for being a slice of sanity on the internet, Caroline. Especially as this issue only seems to be amplified by social media.
These were great notes! I think of resolutions as opportunities, not to change, but to become more myself.
Here are some mantras that have resonated with me when I'm going through something difficult (as a fixer too):
- I feel so human right now
- Everything is a practice
- Did I expect life to be easy? No. This is the hard part.
- These feelings are not inherently good or bad; they are signals my body is giving me
"Everything is a practice" is great and I will try to remind myself of that!
Oof. The last one about feelings. This is the journey I'm currently on; allowing myself to feel things, instead of stuffing everything down to be able to carry on... It's a hard pattern to break after 30years, and much more painful in the moment but I'm making myself "do the work" for me. I'm trying to teach myself that it's not selfish to fulfil my basic needs before helping others. Cinderella style CPTSD&traumas are a b....
I like that mantra, I'm on the right train. To take that metaphor further it's being okay with the stops, delays, maintenance, and upgrades. :) My mantra for this year is to just be. I was always striving and wanting to do things or be where I'm not and now I just want to be with me and enjoy where I am.
Not the wellness influencer that we expect, but the one that we NEED. Thank you for this wonderful, down-to-earth, practical, pragmatic set of advice. No mad consumerist content but gently inspiring and not stressful like other self-improvement content. I listen to this while lifting weights and feel nourished body & mind!
immediately opened my notebook. class is in session!!
I remember that there was a girl I didn’t get along with very well in our group of friends and couldn’t figure it out. I mentioned it to my husband and he looks at me and said- “ you don’t have to like everyone !” It was the first time in my life I realized that everyone isn’t going to be my friend. Now the last 5-6 years I made a list of who I put my energy amd money into. My husband is first, then my kids, and our extended family. After that people are acquaintances and fun to hang out with. I also have learned to asked what people are thinking instead of assuming and it’s very good! I sure enjoyed this video!
I find ONE thing I like about everyone, and then I can get along just fine.
a mantra that i came up with last year and really helped me, and i will now be using hence forth is:
"Just go find out"
just go find out. don't over analyze or assume or make fear based decision that paralyze me and keep me hidden and small. i told myself to just go find out and then i'll know. and it helped my fear and loneliness and confidence immensely! the decision paralysis and fear of failure or of choosing wrong can be greatly eased by just pointing at something and going like let's find out. a lot more i can say about this but it truly helped me.
You’re such a wonderful & endearing communicator. Articulate, genuine, with an uplifting sense of humor 🌸
I have been taking a similar approach for the last handful of years with what I call "themes". One year it was rest and I focused the whole year on learning how to rest, why it's important, and building it into my life. Another year it was prayer, learning how to pray and why it matters. 2 years ago my theme was stability, learning how to be a more mental and emotional person and all of the areas that impact that. This year it's consistency, I'm focusing on doing what I say I'm going to, on building the handful of habits that I have on my list, and overall being more consistent in finishing projects and even who I am day to day. This really works for me because it's broad enough that I can explore all of the different things that impact that theme, but specific enough that I'm actually working towards something. I've accomplished every single year since I started about 4 years ago.
Exactly-the only reason we want anything in life (material things, experiences, achievements, relationships, etc.) is because of the *feeling* we believe they'll give us once we have them. Happiness and contentment are truly *inside jobs*. The external things we may get, receive, be blessed with are truly icing on the cake. If we're not genuinely fulfilled within ourselves, even getting those external things won't be enough. We hear these stories all the time from people who seemingly "have it all". Happy new year, friends!
I'm also a sucker for New Year's resolutions, and had shifted my mindset around this year's to "what goals will make me feel healthier and happier." It's already feeling more achievable and positive than previous years' goals.
23:26 I understand what you're saying about the body, but here are my thoughts based on my experiences in life: sometimes it's easier and better to focus on the body, to initiate change in the person. Also, without the body, we do not exist. Our body is our vessel for our person, so focusing on the body can be life saving sometimes. And finally, the body remembers. It remembers a feeling, it remembers what it used to be able to do, and it constantly evolves. Sometimes it's easier to take the body out of its comfort zone, than to take the person out of its comfort zone. So I think sometimes it's good to start with the body, and the person will follow.
You know what? I am finding that to be true. My trainer guides me to do things with my body that I have never done or even been able to imagine doing. I had never done a push- up. The first one was just pure discomfort and fear. It took two workout sessions to do. He put a couple yoga blocks under my chest, and I could imagine that and pushed past the (irrational) fear. Then I did a push-up over one yoga block. The third workout, I dropped and did several push-ups over one yoga block as if I do them every day. My body knew it could do it. It surprised ME 🎉. My body led the way to me knowing I can do push-ups! And now I know. ❤
My favorite mantra: I am. It is. Enough.
Your videos are essentially therapy.. only instead of talking about my problems, you just give me solutions I didn't know I needed. Thank you for presenting such a well rounded, grounded, world view on the internet.
LET'S GOOOOOOO, Caroline! Nanny here... Working on my place & myself... Major life change coming this year... Peace & Love.
My relationship evolved when I started saying “what do you mean by that” and then it completely changed when I started taking what he said initially as the meaning of it.
I unintentionally try to understand what the underlying meaning is to things people say, when most often they mean exactly what they say. What a serious game changer
the shot of your living room with the xmas tree at 0:36 is so beautiful!!! you have such a good eye :)
I'm watching this in a hotel as after being evacuated from the LA fires. Our house is still standing but not fully livable yet. Don't know when my life will return to normal or how my neighborhood will move forward from this. That section about accepting things as they currently are (and admitting that they may be terrible), really helped. Thank you
my go-to mantra: do no harm but take no sh*t. ❤💪🏼
I don't know how it's even possible, but almost without fail, your videos come at the exact right time for me. "Just ride" is what a control freak anxious bubble of a human like me needs to hear. I'm currently looking for a new job and frustrated with how slowly it goes. But I have no control over other people's decision. So I'll try to just ride. Even if I forget it tomorrow and freak out again.
Watching your videos are like free therapy sometimes and I'm here for it! You always know how to say the things I want and need to hear. Thank you! ♥
Some favorites of mine lately:
1. It is better to do something than to do nothing while waiting to do everything.
2. It's not necessary to react to everything you notice.
3. Walk like you have 3,000 ancestors behind you.
4. Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it.
5. Allow yourself to shine without the desire to be seen.
6. The person coming to save you is your healed self.
Me: I'm just gonna put Caroline's video on the background while I cook
Caroline: Drops the video that is actually helping me with all my worries about the new year
Agreed. This year I am choosing the word “ANEW” and each Monday I will begin anew. Building on what I have felt good about in the past, and starting a different track for others until I find what works. I am also planning for this to start in February, because it’s face slapping cold right now and I don’t want to start except in my head. No shame. None.
A personal mantra, "Well, ive made it this far." Saying this allows me to rest and know rhat no matter what I do, even if i do nothing (especially if I do nothing), reminds me of all the stupid mistakes, disappointments, goals, and other things Ive agonized over. Some of fhose things needed a little agonizing, and others were little blips in time. But regardless, I made it this far. And that's all that matters. So no matter what, Ill continue to "make it" sgain, no matter what it looks like.
"Look at me. Don't steer. Just ride". Had me tear up a little, I felt so held and loved thank you Caroline ❤️
Hi Caroline! Apologies in advance for the paragraph 😅
I've been watching your videos for a long time and they have provided me with so much comfort and guidance, but I've never commented before! I'm a 22 year old medical student who has been sufferring with anxiety and emotional instability for the last few years. In recent months, I took a downwards turn and have only just recovered to a stable place. I also relate so much to your experience with previous toxic relationships and now being in a kind, safe, loving relationship but needing to grow new healthy habits and communication skills!
Watching your videos always provides me with new tools and inspiration to take control of my life and keep on striving for a happier future.
This New Year, before watching this video, I made only one resolution: to do less.
I can't tell you how validating it is to hear that my gut instincts aligned with the advice you've shared about dealing with anxiety!
The one mantra that I've found helpful in my most hopeless moments is:
'If I can overcome this challenge, I can overcome all challenges'
I think it's useful for gaining perspective on overwhelming situations.
Thank you so much for your vulnerability and honesty, I'm certain you are helping more people that you could know!
Done is better than perfect. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. You can't do everything the planet needs, but the planet needs everything you can do.
Thank you for this wonderful video Caroline. I struggle heavily with anxiety and I absolutely love how you speak about anxiety. Thank you for sharing your mantras and just being so real. So thankful for you and your channel ❤
My mantra last year was "it is what it is" and I let go of control as often as I could ... very similar to "just ride"!
I know you’ve spoken about the comfort/discomfort scale before and it really hit me. Because I definitely lean hard into the comfort end, and what I’ve realised in the past year is that it causes just as much discomfort if not more than if I’d allow myself to pivot in the other direction and be more open
1. These were such wonderful, generous insights, and I appreciated every single one of them. It's so clear how much care you put into what you offer to us.
2. My mantra for this year so far has been "gentle rituals, bold interactions" because that encapsulates all of my (very simple) goals in four words.
3. 26:17 was giving big Kath & Kim energy. iykyk.
Thanks for another brilliant video, I hope 2025 treats you kindly and brings you everything you hope for!
My general mantra and goal this year is to go with the flow and accept what comes (not easy at all). Focus on myself, preserve my energy for my main priorities and intentionally stay single and learn to enjoy my own company. So your video perfectly aligns with that
From one Caroline to another, I don’t think you know how much I needed that. You literally said “do less”, and less has been the word on my mind as we enter the new year. Just less, in all aspects, to leave room for more. I’m thankful you reiterated that for me without evening knowing it! ❤ blessings for your new year!
Your videos not only make me smile and feel like I’m hanging with an actual friend, they have also been so helpful for me. The one about making friends as an adult that was shown a couple times in this vid-I come back to the advice you gave in that one all the time, and I’ve shared it with others. Things like, you have to find other people who are looking to make new friends, and it’s going to take some effort and maybe not be super fun right at the beginning… Sorry, I don’t know why I’m quoting your own advice back to you. The whole likability thing too-you are SO spot on. The “compliment” I get most is that I’m the “nicest person” newish acquaintances have ever met. And yeah, I want to be nice, but also…I want to be me! I want to have real relationships that matter and get below the surface-which I can’t have if all I can be is “nice.” Anyway, all that to say…Thank you again! Love you and your vids. This is one I’ll be rewatching as I continue to figure out this new year.