Oliver Hudson: Sibling Stressors, Love Languages & Ego Elimination
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- Опубліковано 31 тра 2021
- Oliver Hudson, actor and fellow podcaster, joins us to discuss the nuance and evolution of family dynamics and how he overcame feeling like the black sheep of his famous family with the help of a pillow and a wiffle ball bat. Together, Mayim, Jonathan, and Oliver examine the ways that they give and receive love in the context of their own upbringings and sensibilities. To round off their discussion, Mayim shares a bit about the neuroendocrinology behind relational differences between men and women.
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It an intense pain not having a good relationship with your siblings especially as you start losing your parents.
Oliver’s authenticity and courage is wonderful.
What a cool brother he’s grown into. My brother, going on 71 this year and I’ll be 70, just initiated a conversation about my parental abuse and just validated me. I appreciate that. I have 5 brothers.
Mayim, regarding your Jeopardy hosting (which I haven't had a chance to see yet): My parents are in their 80s and hard of hearing even with hearing aids. They said that you were the best guest host so far because they could understand every word you said. That's a huge compliment! They were kind of bummed to know that you are probably too busy to actually take on the job full time!
I've seen very recent articles claim that she has expressed taking on the position full time. 🙂
I agree. I feel like Alex was family as a Canadian and even though not hearing him makes my heart sink and I can't watch Jeopardy for the foreseeable future lol I think Mayim did the best job out of all the people and is the least controversial...
Team Oliver! Would have loved to hear him talk more!
I hear what some are saying but I think Mayim was just trying to keep the conversation going, interactive.. and gets excited & passionate about the topics! 👍 I thought the chemistry was super authentic and flowed naturally.. P.S. I love the teaching at the end, I could listen to Mayim teach like that ALL DAY. Love her.
I would have liked to have heard Oliver more, he got cut off a lot when he was in the middle of talking about important topics and thoughts and feelings. Oliver has such interesting things to say.
I agree. The interruptions are annoying.
I too am an interrupter and I recognize myself in this. But LOVED this interview-the vulnerability is admirable.
I love Mayim, but yes, I found myself saying “stop interrupting him” numerous times. I wanted to hear Oliver finish his thoughts and stories. It leaves me wishing I could know/hear the rest of what he was going to say.
I love this interview.
I agree! I’m heading to his podcast now…
I really wish I could have heard more from Oliver. The interview was interesting but I wish we could hear from the guest.
So agree. I find that in a lot of the interviews.
So wild, I thought it was a lot of him talking, in a good way. A really good back and forth interview conversation style. So interesting someone has the opposite perspective.
He was a great guest.
I agree,made more about her.
He did most of the talking!
Thank you Mayim for acknowledge how hard it is for many people to get help. It's not that 'first world problems' aren't problems. It's that if you have the money to throw at problems to fix them, they aren't as serious as problems when there isn't enough money to contribute to it, like getting therapy. This is a fundamental problem. And most of these people are working so hard that they don't have time to do research, read books, listen to podcasts, etc.
Great work. Thank you for doing what you do.
When Oliver was talking about wondering why he was the one who seemed to be more affected by family issues than his siblings, this might be explained by the fact that we can carry ancestral memories in our DNA/cells. What we are working out in our lives can go back in generations to experiences our relatives had in their lifetimes.
I'm somewhat aware of this topic. Any info you can point me to on this for more? Tia
I have been wondering the same as him all my life. Been to therapy and still can't figure out why both my siblings seem so together while I'm grasping at straws.
Thank you for sharing that. My mind is blown. Lots to think about and seek out reading materials.
Wow, the amount of respect I have for Oliver Hudson has increased exponentially. Thanks for a great podcast, Mayim!
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Mayim got a case of the Kelly Clarksons on this podcast, where she's so excited by the guest that she can't stop interrupting, to just let them speak.
She does some interrupting, but I re-listened, and there are lots of times where she waits, and even encourages him to elaborate.
Yes, please stop interrupting.
Wow, please have him on again . I could listen to y'all for hours . The Best interview
Yes I noticed Oliver's mannerisms are so Kurt. That's the sign of deep abiding love and respect. He must be a wonderful father and human being
I didn't realize Mayim had a brother. I think it's great that Oliver is open to the issues he grew up with.
I can totally relate to Oliver. Being a highly sensitive person makes life more difficult. Things affect us differently and way more intensely. Good things feel amazing, but that also makes the bad things feel intense as well. Or even the perceived bad things. But still, the feeling are real and need to be dealt with. A life long struggle, it seems to be.
Yes! I had a mental breakdown over this specific topic yesterday. Sometimes it is very exhausting and overwhelming to feel all the feelings so deeply.
38:40. My thoughts exactly. The amount of bashing that Prince Harry gets (for example). The comments flood with people saying..."Shut up, there are people who have it much worse, stop complaining, you grew up in a palace." Like he has no right to feel sad over having an emotionally distant family, and having lost his mother as a child. Do you have any idea how many millionaires have committed suicide? I just don't understand how people can be so cold. Let him speak out!! If it helps just one person, it's worth it.
Oliver is my favorite Hudson now too! Excellent episode
I absolutely understand Mr Hudson’s journey through his mental health issues. So appreciate his honesty. I myself have been on what I call an Honesty Tour since the Me Too movement happened. I Will never again not speak my mind. It brings a freedom to your life and It feels so good to discover who I am minus my need to please people ALWAYS.
I absolutely lute recommend virtual counseling. There’s a freakin’ pandemic that turned our world upside down and it has mentally changed us.
No I don’t. Can you share names?
I read recently (from a therapist) to look at our Love Language, and then look at what we were not given as children (i.e. the thing that was witheld, is what our Love Language is now). I find that really interesting. 🙂
Heyyy Mayim…I’m Ann from New Brunswick Canada…you did fantastic on Jeopardy..I used to watch you when you were Blossom…on sibling stressors-I have two sisters and one brother..I don’t get along with my brother & wife and my second oldest sister’s hubby. They a pretty toxic to me. My brother in-law wanted to get me committed to a psych ward and my sister in-law grabbed my blood pressure pills and wouldn’t give them back and to make it worse I was late taking them. I stay away from those kinds of people as much as I can. ….anyways..have a great week…love ya, girl….ohhh to confirm, I am the sane one here!
That's so sad hearing about Mayim and her brother. Made me tear up a bit. Sounds like she wishes things were different.
Without even having read the book I know 💯 that my love languages are acts of service and quality time. Do the things and spend the time!
I wholeheartedly agree with you, Mayim. I hate gifts/flowers. I like kind words and compassion. Don’t do stuff for me. Do stuff with me.
Me too!
I am SO glad there was the Love Language set-up because my ears were so ready for this interesting convo!
I love how your (Mayim) love language to your children was to remove the war paint (clown face). As a woman, I find wearing makeup as sort of an arming up or girding myself for public navigation/consumption. I find it special and affirming to be wanted, loved, accepted in a stripped down & authentic way. Side note: as a younger sister of a older, distant brother I found this podcast helpful and illuminating. Thank you Oliver, Mayim, & Jonathan for your candor and vulnerability. 🤗
Oliver Hudson is my favorite for a long time. I’m still angry Splitting Up Together was canceled!! This podcast made me like him more. This was a great conversation!
Oliver is my favorite in the family toooooo! 🫶
Thank you Mayim for acknowledging that we do not all have the same opportunities or access to mental health resources. And THANK YOU for trying to reach so many with your podcast. 🥰❤️🙏🏻⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Loved the discussion about siblings. Although I didn't always get along with mine, I'm so close with brother and sister now and wouldn't change our relationship for the world. After hearing about your relationship or lack thereof with your sibling(s) it made me tear up and realize how lucky I am to have the relationship I have with mine. I really feel there's no one that understands you like your siblings because every family unit is so dynamic and impossible to explain to an outsider looking in. I think this famous quote sums it up perfectly, "To the outside world we all grow old but not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feud and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time."
This episode was packed full of helpful concepts.
It was interesting to hear about Oliver’s family experiences and his emotions connected with them. I was a fan of Goldie Hawk since the very first episode I saw of Rowan and Martin’s Laugh In. Yes, I’m a child of the 50’s and 60’s.
Throughout Oliver’s tribulations and revelations I couldn’t help but hear his inner middle child. One doesn’t hear much about that these days, but “The Birth Order” book resonated with me and still does.
Congratulations on another entirely relevant and revealing episode.
Wow Mayim, I had no idea that you too have a sibling that you too have a sibling to whom you 'cannot' communicate, because 'the door is closed'. I miss my sister and the relationship we had. I feel you. Thank you for sharing this.
my 91 year old mom just had a major health scare..and these ego questions are at the top of my mind...its amazing how patterns are created, and continue between us all.
100% on Oliver's Team. Such a good episode!
I watched this episode because my father left, as well, but be it as it may the best remedy to help oneself is to help others, especially children (as more and more laws are created to protect the abusers), you save one child you save the world and you heal yourself - instead of relying on gurus and healers who just want your money and fame.
Thank you for your comment about how mental health help should be available to everyone, not just to those who can afford it or have the right insurance. I know so many, including myself who do not have the finances or insurance that will cover mental health problems. Therapy should be available to all who are in need. Love your show
Technically, there are mental health charities that provide services to pretty much everyone. The catch? You get what you pay for. 😿
Even in public school there are school psychologists, community free clinics, VA assistance, etc... I found free assistance via my employer. It’s not hopeless for goodness sake.
There are good charity services available however, my daughter had to jump through so many hoops and wasn't able to get a therapist. She found another organization but the waiting list for a therapist is apparently 2+ years. It's OK because at least she can get her medications
I literally jump to the videos as soon as I get the notification. THANK YOU Mayim for being such a wonderful source of thoughtful, educational content💛💛
I don't like receiving flowers either. I much rather going on trips or going out for dinner, even chocolate is a better gift than flowers for me 🤣
I would have liked less interruptions when Oliver was trying communicate his stories.
It’s Tuesdayyyyy!!!! 😍And..Jonathan! Take a drink of our viewers/co-host drink game: Mayim’s “late bloomer” is in this new episode too! 🍻
To my dear Mayim..how I find so tender and adorable the “no clown” moment with your little one! 💜. Mine always wanted to take off my new glasses, because the mom he “knew” wore no glasses but contacts..and I needed to get rid of them because a dry eye along with a Keratoconus eye malformation.. Thinking if this childhood experience unconsciously carry him to become the brilliant young Ophtalmologist surgeon MD he’s now...🤔🤭
Sharing this #bialikbreakdown 27th episode with acquitances and friends. It is as great as the 26 previous ones...but you do know this yet.
Btw, I wrote an unanswered question just past January about the draining feeling of guiltiness in front a family member suicide and not beeing able to stop it nor view the “signals” if there’re some...🙏🏾
This was such a fun and interesting episode! It was interesting that Mayim talked about how a lot of women like receiving gifts. This is actually my lowest love language. I hate it. I am definitely a physical touch person. Thanks for another great week. Love to all.
Well now I'm even more in love with Oliver Hudson than I was before. Seeing and hearing that he is even more down to earth than I imagined.
I always loved Oliver Hudson but now I love him even more! Btw he’s my favorite person in his family as well! Thank you for these amazing podcasts. Mayim and Jonathon! You are both amazing. Thank you,Thank you,Thank you! 💜🙏
It's amazing and interesting to me how people feel about themselves. I have always thought Oliver was the most talented of the family!
I agree with you Myaim, Oliver is my favorite person in his family too💗
I'm loving this interview and can attest to the power of the Hoffman Process, having attended myself back around 2015, after stumbling upon it serendipitously while exploring St. Helena on a day trip one day. I can really relate to the blended family thing, moving from the west coast to Nebraska after my dad met and married my beloved step mother. Thank goodness for the step parents, like Kurt, who step up and in, and change our lives for the better. PS I grew up with Laugh-In. My father adored Goldie Hawn and she was such a huge icon of my childhood and later.
He has (is on) a strong spiritual journey, you can tell, so much vaster than a temporary human acting or sports career. No wonder people so relate to him as a reality touchstone.
I hope that Jonathan will have his brother on. My nephew was in a horrible car accident almost 3 years ago, and has a TBI. He’s unable to walk or communicate. He just left a nursing home, and is in a rehab now. My sister, and our whole family are hopeful that he will have quality of life. A podcast on this subject would be helpful and encouraging. I love Oliver Hudson. This is an interesting topic that we can all relate to. Thank you, Mayim and Jonathan.
Commenting on the story time commercial. My dad died in 2001 and beginning the very next weekend, seeing ‘13 days’ in the theater, I found out that he was in the room that the movie opens on (in real life) I never knew!!!! I adored my dad, and we talked a lot, but it was too late for me to find out anything about him-we always talked about me and lifetime self-improvement ❤️😢…I wish this was around in the 90’s and before.
Thanks Jonathan, now every time Mayim says, "I was a late bloomer" I laugh.
Drink game? 🍻
If you watch all of her podcasts in a row and make that a drinking game, you gonna be blotto with the quickness.
I used to watch Oliver on "Rules of Engagement" and fell in love with the openness and sincerity of his character. Now after watching this I see it was really Oliver himself. All this time I did not know he was Goldie Hawn's son, which makes his humble spirit even more impressive. Also, for what it's worth, he has been on my short list of white man crushes, right alongside James Taylor. 😍
Thank you so much for this emotional honesty & insight! This is extremely helpful, healing & authentic. People are being helped by this podcast & "Thanks!" to Oliver Hudson & his honesty & wisdom. PS I beat you Oliver - been in every psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, religious counselors, forensic psychologists, family & marital therapists office for the (LAST 30 YEARS...). Mayim! Have me on the podcast! We'll talk! ALOT!
I love listening to you. You are so HUMAN and down to earth.
This episode is everything I need today! Tuesday morning group therapy session with Oliver Hudson? Yes!
Thank you Oliver for sharing. I appreciate the information you passed on. Your experience sounds so rewarding.
Gifts is LITERALLY the last on my list (only one point). I have to try really hard give gifts to those I love, and it is really hard. Physical touch/quality time! Words of affirmation - but not "You're the best" because that implies there is a worst - - so "I really appreciate xyz" yes.
Even though I bet none of his family members view him as less than I can totally see how he would feel that way. His is such an extreme case but these dynamics happen in most families sadly.
I heard him in a talk show joking about him being nobody compared to his sister/mother. That jealousy was so evident and heartbreaking.
I went to a
"Loving yourself and others" weekend
Incredible break through
Emotional energy is stored up ... and I physically have felt it leave my body
Yes Mayim it's a fact
Everything in life has some form of energy and our trauma is energy ... it gets pushed down into our bodies ...
💜💜💜
I found this episode to be the most fun and enjoyable while being educational...Oliver was so super sweet and so darn open ❤
I love 💗 how you broke down the Love Languages between giving and receiving!
The problem with the book is that implies that narcissistic people will respond and give back. Not true.
Just watched this now (2 years late). When they got to the part of "1st world/poor little celebrity kids" thing & Oliver was bugged by "poor you" type comments: I get him! These sound like old-timey termed "middle child" stuff. Definitely not limited to celebrities! 4 kids in my non-fancy fam. Each VERY different. I have my own 2. VERY different. In all ways: confidence level, accomplishments, neediness, all of it. Some who wondered if there was enough to go around; some who never questioned that there was. People are such individuals. (Also do agree that maybe the guest should get a bit more time.)
We’re getting spoilt jeopardy last night and breakdown today such an interesting podcast I don’t think there’s been one that I haven’t enjoyed , Mayim you were awesome as always I just love to hear you talk about absolutely anything I relate so much to you in so many ways you inspire me so much you are my favourite person ❤️xxx
Mayim Bialik, I think you’re an amazing person. Even though there would probably be things we don’t agree on, I still “feel” like we could be respectful and get past those things. I enjoy your well spoken”ness.”🌷🌷🌷
I've always been very insightful, and even as an only child, I had a breakthrough regarding my fear of being perpetually single. This podcast is great for someone who enjoys analyzing themselves! Every episode, I either go deeper into something I've already figured out, or realize something new about myself.
Oliver is now my favorite member of his family.
Great show! You guys are awesome!
I wish this show was on, when my boys were young. Oh well, you guys are great.
Jonathan is a great co pilot on your podcast, I admire his honesty ☘
So GREAT!!! I just ordered the book "Love Languages of Children"!
Oliver I remember the TV show that you were on and it went off the air I really love your performance don’t put yourself down
I love Oliver, good guy.
I have become a 67 year old fan girl of you and your podcast and have been going back and listening to earlier ones. I will get to them all for sure. Today I listened to Leslie Jones, which was amazing. Loved this one with Oliver Hudson - so much depth and vulnerability, which I always appreciate. And re: Jeopardy...you are great! Alex T is up there grinning and nodding his head.
You are just as good as them. I have seen Oliver in movies and in Nashville and he is amazing. Keep going.
Hey Mayim, another great episode featuring someone who deals with mental issue's. I loved how you brought out that it's a human ailment, and it can affect everyone on the planet in various ways. Not many can afford the help, or their religion dissuades its members from seeking help; they are told to rely on "God" and to read the Bible more.Again thank you for bringing this out and unmasking how even stars have issues, cause they are human first, an actor/actress second!
I have alwAys LOVED Oliver ❤️
Awesome! Adorable he is! I loved Rules of Engagement! Love how he was able to open up more to his wife! :) Happy Wife, Happy Life! :)
I love this episode!!! And as always, i love the banter between you and Jonathan . So much chemistry!!!!
OMG! It’s that time of the weeeeek
Just found this series so late comment...
I think an oft ignored element of the "love language" process is simply learning to acknowledge that a partner IS loving you. That alone has the power to take partners out of that "he/she never does X" pattern
Excellent job. Love you guys and Oliver you are amazing! Great show!!
Great episode. So perfect for me today.
Words cannot state the depth I feel.
Thank you!
Loved this episode. It was interesting learning more about the 5 love languages and learning the challenges fame can bring in people's lives to. Loved every second of this and this podcast really has everything. Thank you so much Oliver Hudson for speaking to us about everything and Thank you Mayim and Jonathan for always making every episode amazing and for all the work that goes into having a beautiful podcast like this. Can't wait for another episode.
hey mayim , thanks for your work
this helps us all ...
Proactively forgiving ones self is vital to mental health. It's the singular most important thing for liberating your heart. The biggest thing I learned during my workshop was self forgiveness . Guilt tethers you to your past and there's no future in your past .When guilt creeps in for me I grab that thought and out loud confess I forgive me" for whatever" I love myself, and continue in that till it literally goes away . Forgiveness for self and others is where the healing begins .I practice forgiveness on a daily basis , when some hurts me or pushes my button I automatically wait to respond rather than react . Then I immediately say out loud I forgive _____, Not necessarily to the person cuz whatever they did was usually out of ignorance . Sometimes are harder than others because people can be really hurtfull . I find the more I practice this the freer I am to enjoy my life and sleep and night .
This is awesome, I get it now......thank you so very much!!!!
This book is a classic.
I just found this podcast and I LOVED this episode! So good and authentic! I am definitely going to catch up with a bunch of other videos and will now subscribe
Sweet! A new episode!! Can't wait to watch!!
My love language is definitely physical touch. I’m a hugger. This stupid pandemic put a crimp in my style. 🥲 My husband’s love language is acts of service. I love to cook, and I’m a really good cook, and this thrills my husband. Not only does he enjoy eating my food he loves having company over to eat my food. He also does amazing acts of service to please me. It’s a wonderful thing, and I’m so thankful. He’s the sweetest man. Our 34 th wedding anniversary is tomorrow. ♥️♥️♥️
Congratulations!
THANK YOU, very much another great episode.....
So many of these discussions I can relate to. Keep up the great content that is here. Thanks from Canada.
Great chat. I learn so much from you and your guests.
About siblings relationships: sorry to disagree a bit. Sometimes you have no other option than to cut moorings and erase some toxic person of your life in order to protect yourself and the rest of the family from abusive behaviours against yourself, other siblings and even parents. Sometimes “emotional removal surgery” is the only possible and healthy option. As the elder sibling I needed to do that. Even if it hurt then and still hurts a lot.
Sorry to be myself raw and openly vulnerable here.
Here a “not send me flowers” woman too. A woman here who prefers to receive and give physical touch! How healing, comforting and full of love can be a hand in a shoulder, a hug, a caress from and to everyone..while long term successfully married with a man who have this at the bottom of his Love Languages! 😅But as Jonathan says here all is about good communication. As ancient lighthouses did, that sent out there a unique own specific message everyone of them. And receive ship “behaviour” in return. They mutually set this kind of previous specific language to communicate and survive. And it functioned till TIC era. So we must do.
Thank you Mayim & Jonathan 💜for another so relatable and great #BialikBreakdown episode. Pure GOLD. And for making my Tuesdays brighter! 🌞
@@PessoaAleatoria01 You’re welcome. It’s hard..but sometimes it’s the healthier thing to do...
Don't feel bad about your opinion. I can honestly say it's not possible to have a relationship with someone who is a detriment. You can't save a ship thats burning and sinking. Sometimes walking away is the best self preservation action that can be taken. When someone is damaging to you mentally, physically, emotionally or any other way it's better to help yourself out and GTFO. It can be hard but mabe your walking away will be a learning point, eventually for that person (hopefully). We need to help ourselves before we can help anyone else. Figuring one's self out is hard enough without extra negativity from others. We all have something in us that shines when we're happy/content and I would love to see more of that in this world. 🫂
@@nicolenichol3820 It’s exactly that. Thank for this! But I didn’t feel bad about my opinion. Only tell my own experience to help if someone is in the same situation
@@m_brokenleg I have experienced some toxic people in family and friends. It's hard to explain to people that walking away is the only way sometimes. I just have more compassion for myself after trying so many ways for lengths of time with certain people. Things never changed and I cut people off. I was always getting, "give them a chance, things will change." Or "they're family". It's crazy to me that people think that's a fair statement. I ask them the same back, if we're "family or whatever, you or they wouldn't _______. You deserve a happy life
@@nicolenichol3820 You need to be wise to really know when to cut these people off. When you need to protect yourself and those you love.
THIS WAS SO GREAT. Really loved it.
I don't even know where to start with so much covered in this segment. Regardless of all of your backgrounds you were all so genuine. I am a teacher and Social Emotional Learning has been making it way into the classroom and I remember doing an activity which ultimately lead everyone to discover characteristics they value and authenticity was what I valued most.
Over the past 9 years I have been teaching Middle School where I get to see on a daily basis the impact family dynamic has. None of my students come from fame and fortune, but what I have learned is people are people.
Our Social Status does not change our basic needs. Food.. water.. shelter... may come easy for some.
But just as important to our survival is human connection.
And more so where that connection comes from.
We all need to feel valued and worthwhile for who we are as individuals.
Parents and siblings play such a huge role in those human connections.
I'm sorry that people make anyone feel that their feelings or struggles aren't valid simply because they were born into privilege. That privilege provides a life of luxury with that food and shelter piece but is not a guarantee for healthy human relationships and connections. It doesn't guarantee feeling valued.
Thank you so much for sharing this conversation.
Hopefully we can all walk away with a better understanding for empathy as well as compassion.
These podcasts are so amazing!!
Omygosh, you guys are my life mixed together. I can't tell you how much this has helped me today,.. all 3 of you
Thank You,
Susan Meyerson
Fort Worth, Tx
Best Conversation EVER!!!!!!!
Loved your interview as always you are amazing.
Signed up to listen to the Sibling Revelry podcast. Great interview; can’t wait to listen to this new podcast!
Thank You so much!! I’m excited to look into the program Oliver spoke of. Definitely time to dive into the patterns. I swear Mayim you are tapping into my brain. Each and everyone of your podcasts have touched me or made me rethink things. Thank You Johnathan, Mayim and Oliver! Great Job!