My father used to say to me, don’t entertain a woman that you are not willing to get married to. If you give woman a child and don’t want to marry her, who should and you can’t expect her not be bitter and angry!!!
It's fair advice. Unfortunately life is more complex now and you can't force a woman to marry you. Different women also sleep with men or have kids with them, for various reasons.
We need to begin exposing secrets and stop lying because it's damaging society. We need to be more open & honest, so we can navigate families much better.
Greetings. There are only 2 individuals that I admire in SA, Penuel Mlotswa and Prof David Banater, he's the Head of Philosophy Department in the UCT. His views regarding life is remarkable but unorthodox. Eusebius Mckaizer quoted him during his visit. Please invite him on the show. Thank you for this honorable platforms that you're hosting.
This is deep, I think more baby mamas and baby daddies need to sit and have such difficult and civil conversations, feelings and emotions aside… so much drama can be dissolved when people sit down and have serious conversations.
Pen you have nailed it when you said no decent man or human being would deprive his child on the basis of his relationship with the mother. The father of my child is paying R500 for clothes in winter and summer, that's a R1000 for clothes per year. His car instalment is R9700 per month. I had to take him to court to pay R3500 per month, while school fees is R4300 a month. Never contributed anything towards shared responsibilities for 14 years. Is this someone onengqondo?
I believe these chats are so vitally important for parents and those looking to have children. Family planning is very important. Financial literacy is important. Staying in your lane & BEING REALISTIC is vitally important!!! Thank you, Nosisi 🙏🏽
Reflecting. Thank you Pen for being so open and vulnerable. This conversation would have gone anywhere if you were not willing to do that. My take aways will always be this: 1. It's not about me/you, it's about the child. Once we truly embody that fact, a lot of things will be easy, you will also be FORCED to do the work. 2. I am learning SOOOO much from these conversations. "They" say life is a never ending opportunity to learn and grow. 3. The mind neeeeeds to be prepared to fail, to potentially be judged, etc, but that really doesn't matter. 4. Bhuyyyaaaaaa!!!
its so interesting how people are educated so much that they can control the spirit. having children is spiritual trust your belief system to take you to where you need to be in the state of a child.
@Godpenuel can you please invite a brother by the name @BenedictinesTheTruth his youtube channel speaks about Antinatalism and I think that would be an interesting topic
My Faves Having An Amazing Conversation.❤ I was a bonus mom in my previous marriage and my ex husband's co-parenting dynamic taught me what I didn't want therefore both my baby daddies and my kids' bonus moms receive the best version of me because I learnt what I don't want. In my world all my kids, my bonus kids, the grandparents and parents would be living in the same estate raising our incredible kids. 🤭🤣🤣🤣 *A Girl Can Only Dream*
Hi 🫶🏿 ✨️ This is a great conversation. I'm not done, but so far. I've thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. Thank you. To both of you. Perception is a complex thing. You've got to be really open-minded to be able to openly be open to new perspectives on topics that are usually one dimensional. You have literally turned this conversation into a multidimensional topic... every side of the story matters, and so do the dynamics. Once again, thank you. Haha, I'll be back tomorrow morning. Might just start it over. I'd really appreciate this chat in an audio format, too.. 🤝🏿✨️🥹🙌🏿
I wish what's being said can be done in real because some woman can drive us away as father and this creat big cracks in a child life . Kidz need that balance
Being a parent should be a choice. All I can do is impart what I am and what I have. Children will become what they become. Biology and context/ environment is critical. Personally, not everyone should have children. But ill-prepared people and psychopaths still procreate which is so damaging to children. That said, life happens even with well-meaning people. Some children are resilient and make it through. Too many are forever destroyed! It's a tragedy sadly.
Penzo, thank you so much for conversation like these, please do them more often. I also like the debate, wen you and the guest don't agree on the same topic, it becomes more and more watchable.
You see towards the end there you said it’s mothers that are failing the boys. I don’t fully agree, yes mothers have a role but so do fathers. You walk into a household as you said that has 4 men sitting down, why isn’t the head of the house taking the responsibility and role to train the younger men? Again in cases where there’s more girls than boys in the house we have to acknowledge that our mothers tend to put all the roles and responsibilities towards the girls which is unfair and therefore leading to ill equipped men (lack of a better description), in the same breath you find obaba refusing to let their sons do umsebenzi wasendlini because he’s a boy. I think training of both boys and girls is in the hands of both parents especially in this day and age where men stay home while women work or “women led households”
My family of 5 girls & 1 boy .....my brother's equivalent of household duties was " ukuthunywa outside the yard" going to the shops , going to the neighbors for whatever is needed etc , cleaning the yard in the mornings especially for dog poop , feeding the dogs , taking out the trash , closing & locking the gate , closing the windows in evening , tidying up the yard in the afternoon for stuff like buckets❤, horse pipes or anything out of place .....30yrs later my brother still confirms to these duties maku hlangenwe ekhaya.......so as much as he did not cook or clean , he had his responsibilities to contribute in a functional home .
Here goes Penuel, the groomer😊 I already can see him behind the scenes of Nosisi's Podcast mentoring her. Wish you all the best Nosisi on your new Podcast, can't ✋
My baby daddy is venda and his family rejected my our son because i am from another culture . Till today his family has never showed up and never met they grandson. His father saw him once and he always makes excuses when it comes to financial support and being present . I wish could watch this 😢
A lot of people have opinions based on emotions. And reason for this is because those opinions are formulated by individuals who have never been in that situation. All parents do wish to provide for their children. But its close to impossible or hard to achieve this with an Ex that is constantly ensuring that you pay the price for not wanting to be with them. Once it goes to court its war, and in many occasions children hardly get what is enough for their upbringing. You get awarded that 500, then you go singing to the society that the father does nothing for your child. Also you cant set a standard and not afford that standard, banking on the fact that your Ex is doing well and therefore they must compensate for you for not doing well in life. Your choices as a less privileged parent got you where you are today, and to satisfy your ego cant only be denying access to the other parent, running to maintenance to paint a false narrative or even filling false protection orders just because wena as a person you are not getting things done your way. Allow the other part to participate in the childs upbringing, then they can see its expensive to raise a child. I will leave it here.......
My soon to be ex-wife stays with her boyfriend, we've got two girls together. One almost 16 and the other one 10. It's all well and good for her but I'm that Dad who don't trust any man especially the one that I don't know to be around my kids. Even when we were still together she knew because I'd always tell her that I don't like it when people introduce their kids to their lovers when they are not sure of the longevity of their stay in their lives. No.2 I want to know especially as a girls Dad, who's this dude, can he be trusted? Does he have a criminal record especially one that has to do with GBV? I'm Christian, so I also need to know what his values are and all the rest. We live in a country that has unacceptable % of GBV cases and I'm doing what I think any Dad who loves his kids should do. It's my belief that children should not be made to form emotional relationships with their parents lovers until things get formalized. ie, marriage, etc.
I was a step daddy being frustrated by Biological father who visited to see his son . The Biological father even called his son ngesibongo . I am not sure on what R500.00 can buy .
My father used to say to me, don’t entertain a woman that you are not willing to get married to. If you give woman a child and don’t want to marry her, who should and you can’t expect her not be bitter and angry!!!
It's fair advice. Unfortunately life is more complex now and you can't force a woman to marry you.
Different women also sleep with men or have kids with them, for various reasons.
The reply I expected, you never fail to disappoint...moving on swiftly
We need to begin exposing secrets and stop lying because it's damaging society.
We need to be more open & honest, so we can navigate families much better.
What a Gem episode you dropped today broer. You spoke the truth. I fully agree with you that honest discussion are necessary and much needed nowadays.
Greetings.
There are only 2 individuals that I admire in SA, Penuel Mlotswa and Prof David Banater, he's the Head of Philosophy Department in the UCT. His views regarding life is remarkable but unorthodox. Eusebius Mckaizer quoted him during his visit. Please invite him on the show.
Thank you for this honorable platforms that you're hosting.
This is deep, I think more baby mamas and baby daddies need to sit and have such difficult and civil conversations, feelings and emotions aside… so much drama can be dissolved when people sit down and have serious conversations.
Pen you have nailed it when you said no decent man or human being would deprive his child on the basis of his relationship with the mother. The father of my child is paying R500 for clothes in winter and summer, that's a R1000 for clothes per year. His car instalment is R9700 per month. I had to take him to court to pay R3500 per month, while school fees is R4300 a month. Never contributed anything towards shared responsibilities for 14 years. Is this someone onengqondo?
I believe these chats are so vitally important for parents and those looking to have children.
Family planning is very important. Financial literacy is important.
Staying in your lane & BEING REALISTIC is vitally important!!!
Thank you, Nosisi 🙏🏽
Reflecting. Thank you Pen for being so open and vulnerable. This conversation would have gone anywhere if you were not willing to do that.
My take aways will always be this:
1. It's not about me/you, it's about the child. Once we truly embody that fact, a lot of things will be easy, you will also be FORCED to do the work.
2. I am learning SOOOO much from these conversations. "They" say life is a never ending opportunity to learn and grow.
3. The mind neeeeeds to be prepared to fail, to potentially be judged, etc, but that really doesn't matter.
4. Bhuyyyaaaaaa!!!
I hope our chats help a lot of parents and future parents to do better. I'm also learning a lot and introspecting a lot.
Thank you 🙏🏽❤️
its so interesting how people are educated so much that they can control the spirit. having children is spiritual trust your belief system to take you to where you need to be in the state of a child.
"We've cheapened our bodies and preserved our minds"
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Grandparents & siblings have dropped the ball when it comes to mediating with children's parents where necessary.
@Godpenuel can you please invite a brother by the name @BenedictinesTheTruth his youtube channel speaks about Antinatalism and I think that would be an interesting topic
Dope conversation for real!!!💯💯💯
My Faves Having An Amazing Conversation.❤ I was a bonus mom in my previous marriage and my ex husband's co-parenting dynamic taught me what I didn't want therefore both my baby daddies and my kids' bonus moms receive the best version of me because I learnt what I don't want. In my world all my kids, my bonus kids, the grandparents and parents would be living in the same estate raising our incredible kids. 🤭🤣🤣🤣 *A Girl Can Only Dream*
Hi 🫶🏿 ✨️ This is a great conversation. I'm not done, but so far. I've thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. Thank you. To both of you. Perception is a complex thing. You've got to be really open-minded to be able to openly be open to new perspectives on topics that are usually one dimensional. You have literally turned this conversation into a multidimensional topic... every side of the story matters, and so do the dynamics. Once again, thank you. Haha, I'll be back tomorrow morning. Might just start it over. I'd really appreciate this chat in an audio format, too.. 🤝🏿✨️🥹🙌🏿
🙏🏽❤️
I wish what's being said can be done in real because some woman can drive us away as father and this creat big cracks in a child life . Kidz need that balance
We need to raise these conversations louder, so we can heal society.
Being a parent should be a choice. All I can do is impart what I am and what I have. Children will become what they become. Biology and context/ environment is critical. Personally, not everyone should have children. But ill-prepared people and psychopaths still procreate which is so damaging to children. That said, life happens even with well-meaning people. Some children are resilient and make it through. Too many are forever destroyed! It's a tragedy sadly.
❤️❤️❤️💔💔💔 I felt everything you said here.
Penzo, thank you so much for conversation like these, please do them more often.
I also like the debate, wen you and the guest don't agree on the same topic, it becomes more and more watchable.
Nosisi is a good mother. I also put my child first. Blood is thicker than water.
Wrong, its our child not your child
@@kazygardens9862 you don't know my situation. I'm a widow. So he's MY son.
Thoroughly enjoyed this conversation, thank you so much for sharing.
This conversation has given me much needed closure on a subject I don't yet have the courage nor words nor skills to have. Thank you Nosisi. 🙏🏿
Nonsisi is wise, let's have her on the Pennuel Show too.
I like your idea of labour accountability for men. Very practical way to balance the labour in the household.
Are we raising our boys to be parents? To be fathers? Are we raising our daughters to be mothers?
You see towards the end there you said it’s mothers that are failing the boys. I don’t fully agree, yes mothers have a role but so do fathers. You walk into a household as you said that has 4 men sitting down, why isn’t the head of the house taking the responsibility and role to train the younger men? Again in cases where there’s more girls than boys in the house we have to acknowledge that our mothers tend to put all the roles and responsibilities towards the girls which is unfair and therefore leading to ill equipped men (lack of a better description), in the same breath you find obaba refusing to let their sons do umsebenzi wasendlini because he’s a boy. I think training of both boys and girls is in the hands of both parents especially in this day and age where men stay home while women work or “women led households”
My family of 5 girls & 1 boy .....my brother's equivalent of household duties was " ukuthunywa outside the yard" going to the shops , going to the neighbors for whatever is needed etc , cleaning the yard in the mornings especially for dog poop , feeding the dogs , taking out the trash , closing & locking the gate , closing the windows in evening , tidying up the yard in the afternoon for stuff like buckets❤, horse pipes or anything out of place .....30yrs later my brother still confirms to these duties maku hlangenwe ekhaya.......so as much as he did not cook or clean , he had his responsibilities to contribute in a functional home .
Dope, more like Deep. 👑❤
You said it best
This convo is so dope.
Great conversation, close to home, Pen, I like the fact that you are honest.
Good conversation
Its crazy how I'm going through this exact situation with the mother of my child.
Constantly try to be the bigger person if you can. Put the child first.
Minimize as much damage as you can, and try keep peace.
@@godpenuel Thanks brother, I appreciate the guidance
Very insightful episode.
Here goes Penuel, the groomer😊 I already can see him behind the scenes of Nosisi's Podcast mentoring her. Wish you all the best Nosisi on your new Podcast, can't ✋
My baby daddy is venda and his family rejected my our son because i am from another culture . Till today his family has never showed up and never met they grandson. His father saw him once and he always makes excuses when it comes to financial support and being present . I wish could watch this 😢
💔💔💔 this is really heartbreaking
Am sorry to say this but amavenda and tribalism are like this🖇,i just dont understand that thing about them.🤦🏾♂️
A lot of people have opinions based on emotions. And reason for this is because those opinions are formulated by individuals who have never been in that situation.
All parents do wish to provide for their children. But its close to impossible or hard to achieve this with an Ex that is constantly ensuring that you pay the price for not wanting to be with them. Once it goes to court its war, and in many occasions children hardly get what is enough for their upbringing. You get awarded that 500, then you go singing to the society that the father does nothing for your child. Also you cant set a standard and not afford that standard, banking on the fact that your Ex is doing well and therefore they must compensate for you for not doing well in life.
Your choices as a less privileged parent got you where you are today, and to satisfy your ego cant only be denying access to the other parent, running to maintenance to paint a false narrative or even filling false protection orders just because wena as a person you are not getting things done your way.
Allow the other part to participate in the childs upbringing, then they can see its expensive to raise a child. I will leave it here.......
Thank you for all these words you've shared here 🙏🏽❤️
That's deep
Top dog conversation pen thank you
Banterin in the Live Chat:
"uMndeni unguMsamo ophilayo."
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Yes ,its quoted by Leeso from your sit-down with him
Please invite dineo ranaka have same conversation 🙏🏽
Nosisi is amazing 😅
What happened to Konvo?
My soon to be ex-wife stays with her boyfriend, we've got two girls together. One almost 16 and the other one 10. It's all well and good for her but I'm that Dad who don't trust any man especially the one that I don't know to be around my kids.
Even when we were still together she knew because I'd always tell her that I don't like it when people introduce their kids to their lovers when they are not sure of the longevity of their stay in their lives.
No.2 I want to know especially as a girls Dad, who's this dude, can he be trusted? Does he have a criminal record especially one that has to do with GBV?
I'm Christian, so I also need to know what his values are and all the rest.
We live in a country that has unacceptable % of GBV cases and I'm doing what I think any Dad who loves his kids should do.
It's my belief that children should not be made to form emotional relationships with their parents lovers until things get formalized. ie, marriage, etc.
This guy is smart 👏🏽
❤
Please get Charleston White on your podcast
Usisi is not speaking into the mic. Great points are getting lost
I was a step daddy being frustrated by Biological father who visited to see his son . The Biological father even called his son ngesibongo . I am not sure on what R500.00 can buy .
Visited while you were there?
1:10:44 😂honesty
Wait, this is your baby Mama?
No it's not. We're role-playing.
Came to commwnts to figure this out. Good conversation tho...
Why does this woman look like Juluis Malema
She is his sister.
I don't but this guy keeps talking only to Zulus 🤔
This was a very dope conversation. Enjoyed all of it. I will wish people could have more conversations like this. Thank you @godpenuel 🫡