I’ve been there 😅 I also found it caused resentment when it wasn’t returned, I believed I was worth being saved too, but I never was in the way that I saved others.
Excellent ways to contextualize what is more broadly known as "people pleasing" and why it happens. Most of us learn in one way or another we have to be SOMEONE ELSE or some OTHER WAY to be safe, loved and accepted - to get our basic need of belonging met. So unrelenting servitude is not always a sign of a good person, but almost always a sign of a hurt person. Learning where this comes from, what it's trying to tell you /what needs its trying to meet and how to befriend the impulse are crucial to breaking the cycle. Thanks Mark!
This is such a good video! I firmly believe that at least 60% of the population struggles with this codependent "niceness" that you're talking about due to low self-worth and it's a real pandemic for mental health. But if you try to bring this up to people, you bring up you or Terry Cole they're so resistive. Nobody wants to hear about how they're too nice because they take such pride in it. And it's almost impossible to get some people to understand the dark side of it. They just sacrifice and sacrifice and sacrifice and then they're angry and their resentment explosions and the cycle just goes in a circle and you watch it happen but nobody wants to understand it. As someone who lived in it, I can't tell you how freeing it is to finally stop overdoing stop caring about what other people think, stop constantly seeking others approval for your own self-worth. Health is so much more free.
Nice one, MG. Jordan Peterson talks about how resentment can both be a sign of how you are being treated unfairly AND also can be a teacher of how you are being entitled or your expectations may need to be reconsidered, too. So, it might be helpful to tell your partner why you are resentful (what your expectation is) and ask them for their honest feedback about your expectations, as they may not be willing to meet them. 😎
i have spent a 53 year life span in this cycle and it is so painful and lonely in so many ways. Thank you for bringing lite to this part of myself that I am work hard on healing and making whole within myself with the help of some beautiful people I have in my life now. It is challenging yet it is a beautiful powerful challenge that everyone should walk straight into with all their heart as I am and have been doing.
I’ve been there 😅 I also found it caused resentment when it wasn’t returned, I believed I was worth being saved too, but I never was in the way that I saved others.
Great Videos!
Excellent ways to contextualize what is more broadly known as "people pleasing" and why it happens. Most of us learn in one way or another we have to be SOMEONE ELSE or some OTHER WAY to be safe, loved and accepted - to get our basic need of belonging met. So unrelenting servitude is not always a sign of a good person, but almost always a sign of a hurt person. Learning where this comes from, what it's trying to tell you /what needs its trying to meet and how to befriend the impulse are crucial to breaking the cycle. Thanks Mark!
Mark please do part 2 of your interview with David Reid and Brad McDonnel from Manna Vitality. We gotta keep talking about living off light!!!
This is such a good video! I firmly believe that at least 60% of the population struggles with this codependent "niceness" that you're talking about due to low self-worth and it's a real pandemic for mental health. But if you try to bring this up to people, you bring up you or Terry Cole they're so resistive. Nobody wants to hear about how they're too nice because they take such pride in it. And it's almost impossible to get some people to understand the dark side of it. They just sacrifice and sacrifice and sacrifice and then they're angry and their resentment explosions and the cycle just goes in a circle and you watch it happen but nobody wants to understand it. As someone who lived in it, I can't tell you how freeing it is to finally stop overdoing stop caring about what other people think, stop constantly seeking others approval for your own self-worth. Health is so much more free.
Nice one, MG. Jordan Peterson talks about how resentment can both be a sign of how you are being treated unfairly AND also can be a teacher of how you are being entitled or your expectations may need to be reconsidered, too.
So, it might be helpful to tell your partner why you are resentful (what your expectation is) and ask them for their honest feedback about your expectations, as they may not be willing to meet them. 😎
i have spent a 53 year life span in this cycle and it is so painful and lonely in so many ways. Thank you for bringing lite to this part of myself that I am work hard on healing and making whole within myself with the help of some beautiful people I have in my life now. It is challenging yet it is a beautiful powerful challenge that everyone should walk straight into with all their heart as I am and have been doing.
So great 💓