Thank you so much Kari, the cemetary that i take care of has 432 headstones and grave markers, Roundup is not allowed . That is a lot of weedeating and when you add flowers etc it doubles the time. I keep a pile of vases and flowers under the shelter that the wind blows around. The strangest is a set of solar lights on a rope with a stereo playing music 24 7. I have thought about putting an ABBA cd in it and play dancing queen in it while i work. LOL As always Thanks!!!!!! Timmy
The cemetery where all my loved ones are....rules are way too strict. I keep everything out of the way. They with a huge riding mower, knocked, broke off a relatives headstone. My Mom's is 7 yrs old. They broke the top stone off. I'm paying to have them repaired. Lots of other people complain too. Yes there are over the top graves. Stuff is heaped on some, but I never see anything done about it. They also never trim between stones. They let that go, those places then are growing horsetail weeds. The problem??? They used to have the city do it....neat as a pin. They then formed their own association. Big mistake. Problem? They are totally careless. My 43 yr old cousin died, funeral is Mon & Tues. Our family is broken 💔😭. A grey cloud over Christmas.
@@KaritheMortician i just thought of thiss question kari but how long does the casket spray/wreath stay on the grave until it either wilted or got thrown out?
@@Luluisraging.86 Yes it is. I'd now like to be in the other cemetery, but most of my Mom's family is there. We also just buried my 43 yr old cousin there. (Dec 13 & 14).
My daughter's best friend died at 16 in a car accident in 1992. My daughter & a couple h.s. friends have put small momentos of big events in their lives in a lidded vase that's part of her tombstone: college graduation & wedding invitations, baby pics, etc. My daughter recently visited her late friend's father to pay her respects b/c her mom died. Her dad told my daughter how much they had appreciated all the cards & pics. He showed her a scrapbook full of the mementos. Janice was an only child & the scrapbook represented what might have been....
That is so sad. My friend's son died following a motorbike crash outside my parent's house. His bike went under a car and the handle bars left an indented groove in the road. Poor mother goes past it every time she visits her own mother. Only good thing was that my friends son had, had a child himself when he was just a teen and that child lives with my friend.
Omg I wish more people understood this! The funeral home i worked for had two cemeteries that our grounds crew would rotate at. One of them has a few markers that are SO covered with toys, stuffed animals, pinwheels, plastic fences and just stuff, we can’t navigate the mowers around it, we can’t get in with a weed wacker and in two cases the ‘display’ has grown so much it actually has spread into neighboring plots so a single display looks like it’s taking up 2 or 3 plots on the grid. If we touch anything, we get yelled at. If anything gets broken, we get yelled at, but at the same time if the grass grows too high within the display, we also get yelled at; there is no winning. We don’t have the time nor manpower to go in and spend a half hour to hand cut grave displays. We also see a lot of people putting down glass beads and decorative rocks. OMG do not do this, it turns into shrapnel for the lawn crews! I could see for a special occasion leaving a display up for a day or two but they can’t be permanent fixtures. Grass grows, the toys, lanterns and balloons are outside in the elements and will get broken. Our boss allowed too much of it which not only resulted in us getting hurt sometimes but also it looks bad when you have a pile of watersoaked toys or in one case, a literal 4x6ft SANDBOX on a grave. There’s better (and more eco friendly) ways to leave offerings for your dead. Do I mention the woman who, every week, would drop off a full bag of groceries from Food Lion on her husband’s marker? Good golly…
When my babies died I left blankets on their graves. Until I could get a stone I wanted the grave marked as a baby’s resting place. My son passed in October and my daughter in December. The blankets stayed until spring when I could get a marker. I’ve left toys a few times and they stay for a couple weeks. It’s just such a special place so I’d hate to tell others what they can do, and yet I see the need for decorum. I’m thankful that I’ve been able to do what I need to do to comfort my tender mama heart.
The more the better. I love seeing the benches, lights, pinwheels, hanging pots of flowers, pictures, teddy bears, matchbox cars, bird houses, marbles, cut flowers, rocks, solar lights, flower gardens, fences, bushes, statues. I love my son’s cemetery. I love seeing others tending their loved one’s graves. It’s a community of mourners who respect your privacy but sometimes wave and chat and even cry together. I have played my accordion there, sitting on the bench at the bank of the river.
I don't place anything that is lightweight on my Dad's graveside. Flowers are secured with florist foam in the vase and changed out regularly. I'm constantly placing items back on his "neighbors" graveside that have blown over. It's a show of respect.
I have seen completely decorated Christmas trees on graves before. Also stuff animals, beer bottles etc. With my family if I put something on the grave I go often and remove, replace and clean up after myself; all while trying to be mindful of the groundskeeper. I enjoy your channel; it’s very interesting.
Love the coins & rocks. A reminder to the dead & others grieving in the cemetery that the person is loved, remembered & missed. Toys left for children is very heart wrenching & touching at the same time. My favorite is a bird feeder! This is a touchy subject for me as I put down an American flag for my grandfather one year. The next day it was gone!😡 I went to the office & they said nothing of any kind is allowed. No flowers-planted, potted or pain on the turf. No decorations, balloons, flags, rocks, coins, NOTHING! He's a freaking Veteran on VETERANS DAY! HE DESERVES A FLAG ON HIS MARKER!🤬 It may be easier for the cemetery workers but, that was hard for me. When you buy your plot check with the cemetery FIRST to see what their rules & regs are. Then you won't be surprised when your gifts to your loved on turn up MIA!😡 Thanks Kari! 💖 🤘
I can see the flag is important to you. What about contacting the monument company to see if one could be epoxied to the stone? A smallish metal one or something?
@@ruthvigil5768 My grandparents have a small flat stone. The ONLY thing allowed on the stone other than names or dates is a cross (they were Catholic). Sadly no wiggle room at that cemetery.☹️ I appreciate the suggestion though.😍👍 💖 🤘
Well my cemetery just this year put a (5 ) item limit on what can be put on graves ? That don't really makes sense in my opinion. Five is very subjective. You can have one large item on one grave.? Then you could have six small items on the other ? The policy every Christmas in years past is that all Christmas decoration will be removed February 1st And I think all glass (Beer Bottles) should not be left on graves. Bottles left on graves can get run over by mowers. And glass will be everywhere. People and kids later on can get hurt by tiny pieces of glass.
Love your channel. I don't mean to be a Debby Downer but all the decorations are actually for the living because the soul of the deceased is in heaven and all they feel is love even without decorations. My granny always said "If you can't give me flowers when I'm alive don't bother when I'm dead".
I'll be the devil's advocate here and just say that if you truly believe in life after death and heaven, then the things we leave to honor our loved ones are for the deceaced, because they can see it.
@M A 👏👏👏💯🙏💝Thank You! When Your gone, Your gone. . I tell my kids all the time, love me while I’m here, appreciate me while I’m here, visit me, while I’m here, because, when I am in my grave, I am no longer here, I am in eternity! 🙏 I understand people want to visit their loved one, to remember them, and the memories, or just reminisce, but I feel like if you do it too much, it’s unhealthy, because you get into a state of depression, or anxiety about the situation, you can’t dwell on what was, you have to move on. It’s ok to come and clean up the site, and take care of it, just don’t get too caught up. You will see them again, one day in eternity, on the other side, because there is life after death, our spirit\soul lives on🙌🏼
One year, I left my Dad a Chocolate Chip Cookie, because he LOVED Chocolate Chip Cookies more than anything! My Mom had made homemade cookies the day before, and the whole family had gathered..this was like the year after he had died, and I impulsively left the cookie on his headstone, knowing full well, it wouldn’t be there very long. Some more of my family members who couldn’t meet the same day, came up a few days later, and mentioned, that someone had left a cookie on Dad’s headstone. I laughed, because I couldn’t believe it was still there.
It’s sad walking through a cemetery with nothing left there. It makes me think how forgotten they all are. Dad lives with me in a Louis Vuitton box so I don’t have to visit a grave but if he had one, you can bet I’d be going there and gardening and weeding on my own and probably making a day of it and weeding the others who are forgotten. I would definitely leave something for dad and I’d be devastated if some one took it away.
@@KaritheMortician dad was not a fancy guy in the slightest lol. When I was younger he told me that if he dies he wants to be placed on the mantle piece so he can be introduced to all my friends when they come and visit "oh and there's my dad over there. Go say hi to him" were his exact words. 😁💗 some times you need to look on the bright side. Love you kari 😉🥰
The cemetery that my grandparents, my dad and brother plus several other family members is small. They allow you to place decorations as long as you don't go over board. There's several solar lights through out the cemetery and it looks so beautiful at night. We have a solar Christmas tree that my mom puts out every year for my dad and brother. The care takers are awesome allowing the families to do so.
I remember last spring,at the cemetary where I go walking,there was a series of graves,that were (heavily) decorated with windmills garden gnomes,,and other yard ornaments. Although I like garden gnomes. It looked like a bedazzled flea market. Maybe the family was trying to recreate their yard. Just real flashy glittery appearance. I’m a minimalist with my family’s graves. I cross the line of leaving fresh flowers,but if they eventually are mowed over I’m ok with that. But not like chucky cheese,it can be kinda tacky!
I live close to James Deans burial site. It’s so sad and disrespectful because his family still owns the farm in Fairmount and ppl come and chip pieces off the headstone and leave junk like cigarettes and the stone is covered with lipstick prints. Gross
I’ve seen birthday cake, balloons, alcohol bottles, drug paraphernalia. It’s wild. Personally i love cemetery’s but not to feel closer to my loved ones, but more so the calmness of them. When I do visit the grave of loved ones usually I leave just a single rose if anything.
@@KaritheMortician I feel so bad for the cemetery staff having to clean stuff up. I live in a very diverse area and people decorate the graves and leave it a mess. Party drinking etc. some parts of the cemetery are so cluttered. But many beautiful parts. I guess everyone grieves differently and different cultures.
Wow! Perfect timing Kari! I just completed decorating a small Christmas tree🎄 that will go in the vase at my husband's parant's (my inlaws) indoor mosolum. Nice that it is indoors. We don't have to worry about the Michigan weather. ⛈🌬❄ Great video as always! Merry Christmas & a blessed New year! 🌹
Francis Bavier who played Aunt Bee from the Andy Griffith Show is buried in Syler City, NC. On & around her grave stone are jars of Mount Olive Pickles.
Hi 👋 Kari ….. as always thank you for all this videos. It make sense. Is so nice 👍 to keep cemeteries nice and clean. I have that kind of mess. And yes slow maintenance to do there work. People need to keep in altar are there home. A lot Spanish people do that . And yes 👍 they also have that tendency to do that in cemeteries. I like in there on home. Thank you 🙏 one’s again .
My family and I are very guilty of over-decorating my mother's grave. I can't help it, I'm a sucker for decorating. I love my mom. She was the world's best mom and deserves the world's most beautiful grave. We have wicker crosses up against her headstone, flowers, stones with poems etched in them, a hanging plant, sometimes a seasonal wreath, and a cute bird house. However, the cemetery sends out bi-annual letters to families warning them that all decorations need to be removed for clean up by a certain date, otherwise they will be thrown away. Everyone gets fair warning. We remove everything by November and my dad stores the items at his house until April. Although it may seem like a lot, we are still in following with the cemetery rules. Believe me, there are many other graves also with a lot of decor. Unfortunately, there is one reason why people may NOT want to decorate graves... people steal. We have had three separate incidents in which people stole iron shepherds poles from my mom's grave. It's extremely disrespectful, but people really do steal from cemeteries.
A friend of mine lived in Liverpool during the war, when sweets were rationed. It seems that the Chinese people there used to leave sweets at their graves under glass covers, my friend believed that the fairies had left them for children to take and used to take them.
WOW! Stealing from cemetery is so disrespectful. I'm so sorry they stole from you (and your loved one(s). I was actually thinking of placing a shepherd hook (with a memorial flag) on my mother's and sisters burial site and actually wondered if they would be stolen. So, I don't know what to do. Anyway, I'm truly sorry for your loss! AND the theft. That's despicable!
People that want to put rocks, do-dads, trinkets, all over the grave, need to mow & clean the cemetery one time. During mowing season we only put flowers on the headstone, any wreaths, etc placed during winter must be removed by 3/1.
I'm from Canada, hello there👋 where my parents I have flowers and stepping stone, and have a hanging lantern with candle, it's my only place I have to go and talk with them,I'm glad we are able to put things there, it's a big place and they get paid well to take care of the beautiful mountain where the cemetery is. I spend mother's Day and Father's day visiting them, and cleaning up the spring stuff, so the new stuff comes up❤
Small items that fit in the space should be left if they seem deliberate. I think it's amazing to see a small item or two near/on a headstone. Yes, it's not your back yard, so don't put up a porch swing and a barbeque, but I think it's terrible that a cemetary would just go and remove everything. If it blows off or impedes another area, sure... but small tributes/offerings to a loved one should be honoured as such.
My best friend Becky passed away a few years ago. I come and place fake flowers or an angel of some sort. When winter comes, her mom comes cleans off the grave and places a blanket. She takes the stuff and puts them in her memorial spot in her home so they won't get ruined by harsh winter. There is a sign at the cemetery that you must remove items before winter, but other than that nothing over the top where she is buried. It's a beautiful place.
This was a vey good video! 🤔 Definitely one for thought. My mom and my only siblings graves I would love to leave there with knowing they are loved and missed. But also knowing that they are not there only the body remains. That it is only my emotions to make ME feel better by leaving items . As time goes by the desire to”let them know” isn’t as strong. I think moderation is key. Like everything, must be kept in mind when decorating the memories of your loved ones.🤔 just my opinion...❤️🦋 Take care, stay Safe!❤️🦋
At the National cemetery where my husband was buried, artificial flowers, potted plants and wreaths are only allowed during certain time periods. We always bring a small bouquet of real flowers.
I saw a bag of Hershey hugs on a stone near my Dad's and it gave me a chuckle since my Dad was a big chocolate lover and a big teddy bear hug giver. I had just had a chocolate éclair "with him" from our favorite bakery up the street. Nice to know he is in good company.🤭🤎🤎🤗🤗
My friends father passed away 4 years ago and now recently her sister. They bring bbqs and coolers and lawn chairs and hang out there and drink beer and listen to music every Sunday. They’ve been kicked out of the cemetery a few times.
I leave flowers for my Mom and Dad because we have a built-in vase. (Although the last time I did this, someone stole the flowers. It still ticks me off.) My grandma is buried in the country and always said that if anyone ever left plastic flowers on her grave, she would come back and haunt them. I can't say I blame her because plastic flowers are so tacky!
I can only speak for myself of course. I did not read any of the comments Nor will I. I don’t go over the top but just after Losing my parents I’d visit the grave weekly with fresh flowers. Now that time has passed I only go once a month. I have a shepherd hook and I leave artificial flowers to make it easy on the grounds keepers to do their jobs. But I am fortunate to live close by and can go more often. I still bring fresh flowers on Holidays. I am glad that our cemetery allows us decorate.
The only cemetery I’ve been to more than once is a national cemetery and besides flags for Memorial Day I don’t recall seeing many flowers at all. All the headstones are the same and it’s very neat.
Great video Kari. I'm in the Final Expense business and you have definitely given me something else to think about when helping families to plan out their final wishes.
Very tactful upload, Kari. Over here in Northern Ireland, my father's headstone is just THAT. A headstone with a small bunch of natural flowers in the integral vase in the plinth. Sadly, we are a divided community, and people here place FLAGS, which are divisive and polarising on many graves. Protestant, Unionist graves tend to display the Union Flag 🇬🇧, and Republican, Nationalist graves abound with the Irish Free State flag 🇮🇪. It saddens my heart that the death of loved ones is reduced to a piece of material with colours on it....😌😌😌
Being an avid cemetery walker, I've kept a kit in my trunk, when my dog and I go to basically each day, I pick an area, trim, cut, and rake the seedy areas. Being in TN, fire ants are an issue, plus the old flowers or head stone racks left, I pile it neatly, and each year is a clean up. What's bad is the lawnmower guys shred the flowers around the gravestones, and makes a real mess, but those plastic cones are great for black widow spiders, and are ususally broken up by weed eaters, It's my way of giving back, and not a big social person due to my cancer outcome.
Thank you for all that you do. And I see your comment is a year old, so I hope you are doing well with your health and you've beaten that nasty thing called 'cancer'.
Hi Kari. I like to keep things simple. I keep a shepherds hook plant hanger close to the side of the monument to hang plants on. I also have an incense burner sitting on the monument about a foot off the ground.. it seems to me safe there. During the holidays, I like to put a tripod wreath stand with a Christmas wreath in the snow, which I remove after New Year. The cemetery does a very nice hob of keeping the grounds looking nice. This was a good topic, Kari. Thank you .
The veterans cemetery where my parents are laid to rest has restrictions. From November 1st to January 31st you can leave live or artificial holiday decorations. After the 31st, if they're not removed, the cemetery throws them away. During the rest of the year you can only place live flowers on the graves. They stay until they become unsightly. Nothing else is allowed...no solar lights, etc.
I’m thankful that the cemetery where my dad rests posts notice that at the beginning of each month all items on graves will be removed. The area tends to get very windy and special decorations blow around everywhere. I put a flag out for my veteran dad at the start of the month knowing that the next month it will not be there. I just bring another one to put out.
Kariiii!!! What a beautiful video!!! I've seen REALLY cool things left at graves. Coins liquor bottles memory trinkets pictures rocks pebbles pumpkins flags books something that the person really loved. I cant say I've seen anything crazy on a headstones. Here in MD at the veterans cemeteries you cannot have flowers decorated or anything. I know many people who have all these flowers and arrangements all over the place and when they get to cemetery they twll them no you cant bring all that stuff in here. I think cemeteries should tell families what is and isn't allowed there just to be clear and beforehand.
Well I think if the family buys a vase then yes only flowers that's it and it has to be in the vase only I think it's disrespectful that you can't put flowers on a veteran grave I mean they did fight for this country
Good topic Kari. I think it is fine to leave a coin or 💐 But some people go over board! I've seen 6 or more shepherds hooks, with wind chimes, solar lights, hanging 🪴 statues, stuffed animals (for adults) and various other toys....And this was all on 1 grave! They also had left empty beer cans/bottles and caps. It looked like a hoarder had moved into the cemetery! You can still honor your loved ones, but keep in mind that you want it to look classy not trashy. Also keep in mind that someone has to mow around that junk! It's sad that a few, ruin it for everyone. I certainly wouldn't want my family to fill up my space...I would have to do some haunting, if they did! Lol 😆 I don't think that our dearly departed, need solar lights! Just sayin'....
We have that problem here in San Antonio with the Catholic cemeteries. The Archdiocese won’t allow Halloween decorations. They will remove anything that is associated with the Halloween holiday.
Thank you! I am on your site because I am placing a cradle on my parents resting place. I don't want to go overboard, but I'm just trying to see how much is enough as opposed to too much. Thank you for your video!
Hi Kari!!! I love your channel even though I don't know what a Google play button is. ☺️ My ex husband passed away in 2016 at age 39 from a crazy amount of illnesses. I loved him and took care of him till the very end. Love is love even through divorce. We were together mostly 20 plus years. After his funeral, anything I placed on his headstone would be smashed or stolen. Everything . I called the Rabbi, spoke to the groundskeepers, and head people at the temple. After 4
@@banana9106 I don't remember what the amount is, so much if you knew them, so much if you served with them, so much if you were with them when they fell in battle.
The cemeteries around my home town only allow decorations for specific events. Mothers dsy. Fathers Father's day, 4th of July, veterans day. And memorial day . After about 2 weeks you need to remove them or they will toss them.
Here in Florida some of the vault lids are above ground & people will paint them red, blue, green, even purple & also go really wild with the decorations & what looks nice to some looks very tacky to others is all I'm saying.
People definitely have the right to put memorials on the graves, but you need to be sensible and if you’re going to put stuff out there you need to eventually go and pick it up also. I can’t really say that I blame the cemeteries for getting rid of stuff if people aren’t going to come and pick it back up again so that the cemetery can be taken care of.
As far as over the top decoration there is always a pile of golf balls at the headstone of Bobby Jones at Oakland in Atlanta. The cemetery does not mind and actually keeps all the golf balls that have ever been left. While I play golf myself I have left a few there. It’s kinda a tradition you might say.
Hi Kari! I am Jewish. We don’t leave trinkets. But we do put stones on the graves and if a cemetery told me that I could not do that it would be a matter of religious respect.
I live in Canada and every year before Christmas wreaths are put at family graves at this important time of the year. No grass cutting or maintenance is done in winter do to snowfall
We have a lot of gun violence in Chicago (obviously) and I've noticed the closer you get to the city (usually the big city cemeteries are on the outskirts) people bring those huge mylar balloons that are shaped like numbers, etc.) To celebrate I'm assuming what would have been that young persons' birthday. I totally get it and I'm all for it but I also was seeing a lot of those giant balloons and thinking that it really can't be good for the environment, because a lot of times the balloons just get left there.
People don’t care about rules. The cemetery I go to says they will toss out old left behind holiday decorations. Some of the graves are so overwhelmed with Christmas decorations it looks sloppy. When you have multiple family members and friends bringing stuff you feel like you have to leave it there. Right now I would like to remove the thanksgiving decorations that I didn’t put there but the items are not mine. So Xmas is on one side and thanksgiving on the other side.
Over the top id say Balloons, marbles, rocks... I left a whole vase of fake pink flowers on my grandmas grave, the wind kept knocking it over so I just laid it on her grave, but ive also seen liquor bottles and teddy bears
I am the caretaker of 3 large cemeteries...and I wish family's would not put flowers in glass vases. They almost always get broken and I actually stepped on one while trying to do some extra cleaning at the back of the cemetery
So in the three cemeteries where I have relatives buried. They have a list of rules on decorations. The one that seems consistent is that on a specific day in November all summer decorations are removed, and the same thing happens in early March where winter decorations are removed. I also remember something about decorations must be next to the headstone.
Well-intentioned plantings of little cedar bushes either side of the gravestone .. but planted 40 years ago by people who have never returned to see the immense trees their plantings have become.
You got that right. When dad got buried the grave next to his plot had exactly what you said, had even overgrown the stone. The cemetery had to hack it out of there to fit dad's grave in there.
Wow. This can be a contentious topic. Even though the cemeteries in my area have rules, people still place objects on graves that are technically against the rules. They get super angry when staff removes the prohibited items and it's an ongoing battle for compliance. Mind you a battle best fought with kid gloves.
In hawaii, they have little hillside cemeteries, a lot of times along the roads. They leave all kinds of stuff pictures and beads and flowers and beer cans full and empty liquor bottles all kinds of stuff, of course lights and what not to. Really kind of cool. The couple we saw, cemeteries that is, weren't that easy to do anything with anyway, mowing-wise.
Contentious topic for obvious reasons. You have to find that balance somewhere, but where and how? The cemetery that I visit on a regular basis is pretty good. I know they remove dead/dying flowers because I have had flowers removed and spoke to a groundskeeper about it. I appreciated the honest answer I was given. It’s different with trinkets , toys and other things left behind. I have seen things that were placed long before I started going to this particular cemetery. I too, have left cans of drink in the space left for the vase, years ago, and they are still there today. It may be a case of different rules for different cemeteries, in different places of the world.
I left homemade bracelets I made for the late celebrities graves/ crypts I visited in 2012. I visited resting places of Bob Crane and his widow Sigrid Valdis, Rudolph Valentino, Natalie Wood, Karen Carpenter, Marilyn Monroe.
One more thing..Just remember that when you put a bird feeder out, what goes IN a 🐦 also comes OUT! I don't think that they are a good idea at the cemetery, they will poop on everyone's head stone! If you want to honor your loved ones with a feeder...Put it in your yard! And then you can enjoy seeing the birds. I have had to scrub bird poo off of my parents head stones, because their " neighbors " had several feeders. That stuff is like concrete, especially when it's dry in the heat of Summer. Just say no to the bird poop!
My niece wanted to decorate the family grave, she had already brought a bunch of foil balloons, windmills, flowers etc.. then the following day maintenance removed it and put it in storage, crying hysterically she stormed into the managers office assuming someone stolen it, they explained to her the reason why they had to remove it and she got back all the decorations with her heart broken. We advised her not to go over board but, hopefully lesson learned.
Most of the cemeteries here have a clean up date that is clearly posted a month before they actually do it. Some have rules about artificial flowers only during the winter months. I only lay flowers nothing else. So if they are removed I really don't care
You should absolutely be able to leave things on your loved ones grave. Like stated the plot is deeded and yours. I do understand perpetual care however if you agree to that job then you take what goes with it. Such as my job as a nurse it’s been great just to put on a bandaid but when something more challenging arrives I know that is part of my job. I have family both buried and in a mausoleum and I always make sure everything is up to date with the seasons etc. there’s no worse feeling for me when I look around and see Christmas flowers in the summer. Was the deceased forgotten about? Is the family having trouble? I know I never want to be forgotten.
That's funny cuz I just posted in my group on fb how I think it could be a little disrespectful to throw things away but at the same time the ppl that's putting them down got to think Abt the ppl that got to clean the cemetery too
Something I seen on a headstone as a decoration was a month before Valentine's day was Valentine's decimation on the headstone. They 2 day before Valentine's day . Valentine's car on the headstone that said Happy Valentine's day. Is it common to put decorated on headstone & Graves for the holidays ?
I remember driving past a grave, that had a giant teddy bear on it. Belonged to a child for sure. It sat therefor weeks, till it became a little tattered from the elements. I'll always remember that.
After 4 and 1/2 year's they finally got the damage to stop. With no explanation. Other than I was the first Christian who married into their incredibly long and deep Jewish family. All the way back to Russia and Poland. A reverse hate crime. No other damage was ev done or noticed by me. Because I went all the time. He was my one truck love and soulmate. I grieved HARD for several years. Like life stopping grief. That's why I went to him so often. In their beliefs, they don't cremae. The are cleaned, prayed over, and simply wrapped in a blessed shroud and buried in a beautiful but simple wooden casket. If he could have been cremated would I for myself???? NOPE!!!!! His sister and her family -his are nephews and niece and her husband need a place to go to visit him, show him love and share with him.
My family plot is at a church cemetery, and there are some plots with benches, flowers teddy bears and a garden fence there is no rules regarding grave decorations this grace yard is a historical site because there are men from Vietnam are buried there
About a year ago I visited James Dean's grave. It wasn't anything special just the same as the rest of the cemetery but you could tell it was different because people has signed a rock that on the edge of the pathway. They has also left a few flowers and a (new) cigarette.
A local cemetery where I live at they won't allow any artificial decorations. They toss any that anyone brings out there. Some people also don't read the rules!
I knew of some American cemeteries that did not allow artificial flowers but this is something new and totally not nice. I live in Russia. We are allowed to decorate graves in almost any way we want to. Lots of flowers (artificial or living, in a vase or without it), a tree of any kind, wreaths, stuffed animals, motorcycle helmets, cards, anything anything anything... We can pick any gravestone from 1ft to 20ft tall from any material we like. There may also be a cross of any size and material or a statue of any size and material. We do not do flat gravestones. Our plots have fences. We do not mow the grass. So that's how it is. I hope y'all find that interesting ❤️
@@Kitty-mb4hy well you said they don't mow the cemetery that's what she means by lawn so if the grass doesn't get cut all yr round I would hate to see what that cemetery looks like and I can't imagine a 20ft Christmas tree in a cemetery that sounds more like a real tree
@@thaimays6933 We do not mow our grass and I think that's okay if the cemetery is otherwise well looked after. (Of course we have cemeteries overgrown with all kinds of vegetartion but these are small village cemeteries, like, half-abandoned.) Also, every plot's maintenance is up to the renters and they may pay someone - a cemetery worker or a separate company worker - to do the maintenance. Um, I mean we can plant *real* trees within a plot that's ours and there are cemeteries that have trees already from before the land was a cemetery. My relative was buried under a birch tree that was removed some six weeks later when a rich lady was buried next to him and her relatives purchased a heavy and thick marble fence for her grave.
I think only flowers should be left cuz that's what you brought the vase for nothing else but then again I don't have no one I go to visit in a cemetery I went one time 5 yrs ago and I put flowers on my great grandmother uncle's and close friend of mine grave but thats it I haven't been back since
I think if the cemetery posts their rules at the entrance to the cemetery, and treats all graves equally, then everyone knows what the standards will be and that is as fair as it gets.
I would feel guilty taking something off and throwing it away that's just me. I have a Question? is there any general rule on how to walk in a Cemetery I always try walk at the foot of the graves or between them if I place something on them I stand to the side I guess if I was mowing I would have to walk over the grave's
Last time I was out at the cemetery, where my parents are buried, I leave flowers.i think they're very nice, and my mother liked working with her plants. She had a green thumb. I think liquor bottles are kinda cool, tho. Not too many. Then the grave looks messy. Don't turn someone's grave into a trash can. Angels & cherubs, are really sweet.
My mom is in a public mausoleum (indoor) and most recently I've seen someone place a firetruck mylar balloon, and the balloon unfortunately covers someone else's crypt, rather than the person it's for. This infuriates me. I don't mind simple flowers, but this is rude and very tacky.
Morning from horrendous rain soaked England 💦💦💦... In the cemetery were my son is the headstone is on a raised block of concrete,which is continuous all along the row
Some of the graves have a border extending out 6' x 2' to place marble chippings flowers,ornaments,cans/bottles of beer.It's a difficult one, even on graves of babies/toddlers items have been removed just because they were so full inside of the border.I have noticed in the U.S.A. not any borders or even plant pots set in concrete so flowers can be put which I think is very sad ... Six of one and half a dozen of the other senario! ... 😕 💐🌹🥀🌷🌺🌸🏵️🌼🌼
Or another thing I just thought Abt if you go there all the time remove the stuff you put there from before so it's not so much that way you know you moved it and no one else did then you can't get mad
I am of the opinion of live and let live, but I do not like creepy halloween type decorations of bones, witches, etc... that are clearly NOT comforting. Instead of remembering happy memories, death is in your FACE and that is where i do draw the line.
the cemeteries that dont allow decorations and only allow flat headstones for easier mowing are the most boring cemeteries ever... even in regular cemeteries, the older stones all have lawnmower damage even without decorations
Thank you so much Kari, the cemetary that i take care of has 432 headstones and grave markers, Roundup is not allowed . That is a lot of weedeating and when you add flowers etc it doubles the time. I keep a pile of vases and flowers under the shelter that the wind blows around. The strangest is a set of solar lights on a rope with a stereo playing music 24 7. I have thought about putting an ABBA cd in it and play dancing queen in it while i work. LOL As always Thanks!!!!!! Timmy
Oh wow!
The cemetery where all my loved ones are....rules are way too strict. I keep everything out of the way. They with a huge riding mower, knocked, broke off a relatives headstone. My Mom's is 7 yrs old. They broke the top stone off. I'm paying to have them repaired. Lots of other people complain too. Yes there are over the top graves. Stuff is heaped on some, but I never see anything done about it. They also never trim between stones. They let that go, those places then are growing horsetail weeds. The problem??? They used to have the city do it....neat as a pin. They then formed their own association. Big mistake. Problem? They are totally careless. My 43 yr old cousin died, funeral is Mon & Tues. Our family is broken 💔😭. A grey cloud over Christmas.
@@KaritheMortician i just thought of thiss question kari but how long does the casket spray/wreath stay on the grave until it either wilted or got thrown out?
@@paulg.pollakpanske4229 I’m so very sorry! They should take better care. Is it a perpetual care cemetery?
@@Luluisraging.86 Yes it is. I'd now like to be in the other cemetery, but most of my Mom's family is there. We also just buried my 43 yr old cousin there. (Dec 13 & 14).
My daughter's best friend died at 16 in a car accident in 1992. My daughter & a couple h.s. friends have put small momentos of big events in their lives in a lidded vase that's part of her tombstone: college graduation & wedding invitations, baby pics, etc. My daughter recently visited her late friend's father to pay her respects b/c her mom died. Her dad told my daughter how much they had appreciated all the cards & pics. He showed her a scrapbook full of the mementos. Janice was an only child & the scrapbook represented what might have been....
That is so sad. My friend's son died following a motorbike crash outside my parent's house. His bike went under a car and the handle bars left an indented groove in the road. Poor mother goes past it every time she visits her own mother. Only good thing was that my friends son had, had a child himself when he was just a teen and that child lives with my friend.
Thank you for sharing!
Omg I wish more people understood this!
The funeral home i worked for had two cemeteries that our grounds crew would rotate at. One of them has a few markers that are SO covered with toys, stuffed animals, pinwheels, plastic fences and just stuff, we can’t navigate the mowers around it, we can’t get in with a weed wacker and in two cases the ‘display’ has grown so much it actually has spread into neighboring plots so a single display looks like it’s taking up 2 or 3 plots on the grid.
If we touch anything, we get yelled at. If anything gets broken, we get yelled at, but at the same time if the grass grows too high within the display, we also get yelled at; there is no winning. We don’t have the time nor manpower to go in and spend a half hour to hand cut grave displays.
We also see a lot of people putting down glass beads and decorative rocks. OMG do not do this, it turns into shrapnel for the lawn crews! I could see for a special occasion leaving a display up for a day or two but they can’t be permanent fixtures.
Grass grows, the toys, lanterns and balloons are outside in the elements and will get broken. Our boss allowed too much of it which not only resulted in us getting hurt sometimes but also it looks bad when you have a pile of watersoaked toys or in one case, a literal 4x6ft SANDBOX on a grave. There’s better (and more eco friendly) ways to leave offerings for your dead.
Do I mention the woman who, every week, would drop off a full bag of groceries from Food Lion on her husband’s marker? Good golly…
When my babies died I left blankets on their graves. Until I could get a stone I wanted the grave marked as a baby’s resting place. My son passed in October and my daughter in December. The blankets stayed until spring when I could get a marker. I’ve left toys a few times and they stay for a couple weeks. It’s just such a special place so I’d hate to tell others what they can do, and yet I see the need for decorum. I’m thankful that I’ve been able to do what I need to do to comfort my tender mama heart.
The more the better. I love seeing the benches, lights, pinwheels, hanging pots of flowers, pictures, teddy bears, matchbox cars, bird houses, marbles, cut flowers, rocks, solar lights, flower gardens, fences, bushes, statues. I love my son’s cemetery. I love seeing others tending their loved one’s graves. It’s a community of mourners who respect your privacy but sometimes wave and chat and even cry together. I have played my accordion there, sitting on the bench at the bank of the river.
Thanks!
The people in the graves are beyond care.....show care by donating money to the cemetery fund for mowing and upkeep! That is honoring the dead.
Great idea!
I don't place anything that is lightweight on my Dad's graveside. Flowers are secured with florist foam in the vase and changed out regularly. I'm constantly placing items back on his "neighbors" graveside that have blown over. It's a show of respect.
Thank you!
I have seen completely decorated Christmas trees on graves before. Also stuff animals, beer bottles etc. With my family if I put something on the grave I go often and remove, replace and clean up after myself; all while trying to be mindful of the groundskeeper.
I enjoy your channel; it’s very interesting.
That is awesome!
@@KaritheMortician Yes! That IS *awesome*
Love the coins & rocks.
A reminder to the dead & others grieving in the cemetery that the person is loved, remembered & missed.
Toys left for children is very heart wrenching & touching at the same time.
My favorite is a bird feeder!
This is a touchy subject for me as I put down an American flag for my grandfather one year.
The next day it was gone!😡
I went to the office & they said nothing of any kind is allowed.
No flowers-planted, potted or pain on the turf. No decorations, balloons, flags, rocks, coins, NOTHING!
He's a freaking Veteran on VETERANS DAY!
HE DESERVES A FLAG ON HIS MARKER!🤬
It may be easier for the cemetery workers but, that was hard for me.
When you buy your plot check with the cemetery FIRST to see what their rules & regs are.
Then you won't be surprised when your gifts to your loved on turn up MIA!😡
Thanks Kari!
💖
🤘
Thank you!!
I can see the flag is important to you. What about contacting the monument company to see if one could be epoxied to the stone? A smallish metal one or something?
@@ruthvigil5768 My grandparents have a small flat stone.
The ONLY thing allowed on the stone other than names or dates is a cross (they were Catholic).
Sadly no wiggle room at that cemetery.☹️
I appreciate the suggestion though.😍👍
💖
🤘
Well my cemetery just this year put a (5 ) item limit on what can be put on graves ? That don't really makes sense in my opinion. Five is very subjective. You can have one large item on one grave.? Then you could have six small items on the other ?
The policy every Christmas in years past is that all Christmas decoration will be removed February 1st And I think all glass (Beer Bottles) should not be left on graves. Bottles left on graves can get run over by mowers. And glass will be everywhere. People and kids later on can get hurt by tiny pieces of glass.
Thank you!
This just popped up, thought I was finally going to catch a live one! Have a great day! Stay safe! Gonna watch this now!
Hope you enjoyed it!
Love your channel. I don't mean to be a Debby Downer but all the decorations are actually for the living because the soul of the deceased is in heaven and all they feel is love even without decorations. My granny always said "If you can't give me flowers when I'm alive don't bother when I'm dead".
Thanks so much!
I'll be the devil's advocate here and just say that if you truly believe in life after death and heaven, then the things we leave to honor our loved ones are for the deceaced, because they can see it.
@M A 👏👏👏💯🙏💝Thank You! When Your gone, Your gone. . I tell my kids all the time, love me while I’m here, appreciate me while I’m here, visit me, while I’m here, because, when I am in my grave, I am no longer here, I am in eternity! 🙏 I understand people want to visit their loved one, to remember them, and the memories, or just reminisce, but I feel like if you do it too much, it’s unhealthy, because you get into a state of depression, or anxiety about the situation, you can’t dwell on what was, you have to move on. It’s ok to come and clean up the site, and take care of it, just don’t get too caught up. You will see them again, one day in eternity, on the other side, because there is life after death, our spirit\soul lives on🙌🏼
When I visit my parents I usually put the ones that were there on another grave that doesn’t have anything and put down whatever I brought.
Nice thanks
One year, I left my Dad a Chocolate Chip Cookie, because he LOVED Chocolate Chip Cookies more than anything! My Mom had made homemade cookies the day before, and the whole family had gathered..this was like the year after he had died, and I impulsively left the cookie on his headstone, knowing full well, it wouldn’t be there very long. Some more of my family members who couldn’t meet the same day, came up a few days later, and mentioned, that someone had left a cookie on Dad’s headstone. I laughed, because I couldn’t believe it was still there.
love it
It’s sad walking through a cemetery with nothing left there. It makes me think how forgotten they all are. Dad lives with me in a Louis Vuitton box so I don’t have to visit a grave but if he had one, you can bet I’d be going there and gardening and weeding on my own and probably making a day of it and weeding the others who are forgotten. I would definitely leave something for dad and I’d be devastated if some one took it away.
Fancy dad!
Louis Vitton? Pardon me.
@@KaritheMortician dad was not a fancy guy in the slightest lol. When I was younger he told me that if he dies he wants to be placed on the mantle piece so he can be introduced to all my friends when they come and visit "oh and there's my dad over there. Go say hi to him" were his exact words. 😁💗 some times you need to look on the bright side. Love you kari 😉🥰
@@nicolestewart Talk about going out in style though!
@@banana9106 lol exactly
The cemetery that my grandparents, my dad and brother plus several other family members is small. They allow you to place decorations as long as you don't go over board. There's several solar lights through out the cemetery and it looks so beautiful at night. We have a solar Christmas tree that my mom puts out every year for my dad and brother. The care takers are awesome allowing the families to do so.
Thank you!
That's beautiful!
I remember last spring,at the cemetary where I go walking,there was a series of graves,that were (heavily) decorated with windmills garden gnomes,,and other yard ornaments. Although I like garden gnomes. It looked like a bedazzled flea market. Maybe the family was trying to recreate their yard. Just real flashy glittery appearance. I’m a minimalist with my family’s graves. I cross the line of leaving fresh flowers,but if they eventually are mowed over I’m ok with that. But not like chucky cheese,it can be kinda tacky!
Thank you!
Chunky cheese?
I live close to James Deans burial site. It’s so sad and disrespectful because his family still owns the farm in Fairmount and ppl come and chip pieces off the headstone and leave junk like cigarettes and the stone is covered with lipstick prints. Gross
It was decently clean when I went to visit except for the lipstick!
@@KaritheMortician it’s been replaced a couple times. My friends own the James Dean Gallery in Fairmount. They do an amazing job.
I’ve seen birthday cake, balloons, alcohol bottles, drug paraphernalia. It’s wild.
Personally i love cemetery’s but not to feel closer to my loved ones, but more so the calmness of them. When I do visit the grave of loved ones usually I leave just a single rose if anything.
cake would be gross lol
@@KaritheMortician I feel so bad for the cemetery staff having to clean stuff up. I live in a very diverse area and people decorate the graves and leave it a mess. Party drinking etc. some parts of the cemetery are so cluttered. But many beautiful parts.
I guess everyone grieves differently and different cultures.
@@KaritheMortician And would attract vermin!
Wow! Perfect timing Kari! I just completed decorating a small Christmas tree🎄 that will go in the vase at my husband's parant's
(my inlaws) indoor mosolum. Nice that it is indoors. We don't have to worry about the Michigan weather.
⛈🌬❄ Great video as always! Merry Christmas & a blessed New year! 🌹
Awesome!!
Thank you Kari for this video and all your hard work for us. God bless! Thanks.
You are welcome!
Very cool video and information Kari Northey.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Francis Bavier who played Aunt Bee from the Andy Griffith Show is buried in Syler City, NC. On & around her grave stone are jars of Mount Olive Pickles.
Oh goodness that is cool!
Hi 👋 Kari ….. as always thank you for all this videos. It make sense. Is so nice 👍 to keep cemeteries nice and clean. I have that kind of mess. And yes slow maintenance to do there work. People need to keep in altar are there home. A lot Spanish people do that . And yes 👍 they also have that tendency to do that in cemeteries. I like in there on home. Thank you 🙏 one’s again .
Thanks so much
My family and I are very guilty of over-decorating my mother's grave. I can't help it, I'm a sucker for decorating. I love my mom. She was the world's best mom and deserves the world's most beautiful grave. We have wicker crosses up against her headstone, flowers, stones with poems etched in them, a hanging plant, sometimes a seasonal wreath, and a cute bird house. However, the cemetery sends out bi-annual letters to families warning them that all decorations need to be removed for clean up by a certain date, otherwise they will be thrown away. Everyone gets fair warning. We remove everything by November and my dad stores the items at his house until April. Although it may seem like a lot, we are still in following with the cemetery rules. Believe me, there are many other graves also with a lot of decor. Unfortunately, there is one reason why people may NOT want to decorate graves... people steal. We have had three separate incidents in which people stole iron shepherds poles from my mom's grave. It's extremely disrespectful, but people really do steal from cemeteries.
Could you create a space at home you could decorate if it is breaking the rule?
A friend of mine lived in Liverpool during the war, when sweets were rationed. It seems that the Chinese people there used to leave sweets at their graves under glass covers, my friend believed that the fairies had left them for children to take and used to take them.
WOW! Stealing from cemetery is so disrespectful. I'm so sorry they stole from you (and your loved one(s).
I was actually thinking of placing a shepherd hook (with a memorial flag) on my mother's and sisters burial site and actually wondered if they would be stolen. So, I don't know what to do.
Anyway, I'm truly sorry for your loss! AND the theft. That's despicable!
People that want to put rocks, do-dads, trinkets, all over the grave, need to mow & clean the cemetery one time. During mowing season we only put flowers on the headstone, any wreaths, etc placed during winter must be removed by 3/1.
Very true!
I'm from Canada, hello there👋 where my parents I have flowers and stepping stone, and have a hanging lantern with candle, it's my only place I have to go and talk with them,I'm glad we are able to put things there, it's a big place and they get paid well to take care of the beautiful mountain where the cemetery is. I spend mother's Day and Father's day visiting them, and cleaning up the spring stuff, so the new stuff comes up❤
Small items that fit in the space should be left if they seem deliberate. I think it's amazing to see a small item or two near/on a headstone. Yes, it's not your back yard, so don't put up a porch swing and a barbeque, but I think it's terrible that a cemetary would just go and remove everything. If it blows off or impedes another area, sure... but small tributes/offerings to a loved one should be honoured as such.
Thank you
My grandpa used to work at a cemetery; mowing the grass, digging the grave and doing other things.
Nice!
My best friend Becky passed away a few years ago. I come and place fake flowers or an angel of some sort. When winter comes, her mom comes cleans off the grave and places a blanket. She takes the stuff and puts them in her memorial spot in her home so they won't get ruined by harsh winter. There is a sign at the cemetery that you must remove items before winter, but other than that nothing over the top where she is buried. It's a beautiful place.
Thank you!
This was a vey good video! 🤔 Definitely one for thought. My mom and my only siblings graves I would love to leave there with knowing they are loved and missed. But also knowing that they are not there only the body remains. That it is only my emotions to make ME feel better by leaving items . As time goes by the desire to”let them know” isn’t as strong. I think moderation is key. Like everything, must be kept in mind when decorating the memories of your loved ones.🤔 just my opinion...❤️🦋
Take care, stay Safe!❤️🦋
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you my husband would enjoy this ❤ he owns Cemeteries and this is a current issue
At the National cemetery where my husband was buried, artificial flowers, potted plants and wreaths are only allowed during certain time periods. We always bring a small bouquet of real flowers.
Thank you! Yes they regulate that a lot!
I saw a bag of Hershey hugs on a stone near my Dad's and it gave me a chuckle since my Dad was a big chocolate lover and a big teddy bear hug giver. I had just had a chocolate éclair "with him" from our favorite bakery up the street. Nice to know he is in good company.🤭🤎🤎🤗🤗
That is awesome!
My friends father passed away 4 years ago and now recently her sister. They bring bbqs and coolers and lawn chairs and hang out there and drink beer and listen to music every Sunday. They’ve been kicked out of the cemetery a few times.
Wow!
I leave flowers for my Mom and Dad because we have a built-in vase. (Although the last time I did this, someone stole the flowers. It still ticks me off.) My grandma is buried in the country and always said that if anyone ever left plastic flowers on her grave, she would come back and haunt them. I can't say I blame her because plastic flowers are so tacky!
Very nice
I apologize if it was inappropriate, but I laughed about your comment regarding your grandmother and plastic flowers.
I can only speak for myself of course. I did not read any of the comments Nor will I. I don’t go over the top but just after Losing my parents I’d visit the grave weekly with fresh flowers. Now that time has passed I only go once a month. I have a shepherd hook and I leave artificial flowers to make it easy on the grounds keepers to do their jobs. But I am fortunate to live close by and can go more often. I still bring fresh flowers on Holidays. I am glad that our cemetery allows us decorate.
Thank you for sharing!
The only cemetery I’ve been to more than once is a national cemetery and besides flags for Memorial Day I don’t recall seeing many flowers at all. All the headstones are the same and it’s very neat.
Yes very orderly
Great video Kari. I'm in the Final Expense business and you have definitely given me something else to think about when helping families to plan out their final wishes.
Thank you so much!
Very tactful upload, Kari. Over here in Northern Ireland, my father's headstone is just THAT. A headstone with a small bunch of natural flowers in the integral vase in the plinth. Sadly, we are a divided community, and people here place FLAGS, which are divisive and polarising on many graves. Protestant, Unionist graves tend to display the Union Flag 🇬🇧, and Republican, Nationalist graves abound with the Irish Free State flag 🇮🇪. It saddens my heart that the death of loved ones is reduced to a piece of material with colours on it....😌😌😌
Being an avid cemetery walker, I've kept a kit in my trunk, when my dog and I go to basically each day, I pick an area, trim, cut, and rake the seedy areas. Being in TN, fire ants are an issue, plus the old flowers or head stone racks left, I pile it neatly, and each year is a clean up. What's bad is the lawnmower guys shred the flowers around the gravestones, and makes a real mess, but those plastic cones are great for black widow spiders, and are ususally broken up by weed eaters, It's my way of giving back, and not a big social person due to my cancer outcome.
Thank you!
Thank you for all that you do. And I see your comment is a year old, so I hope you are doing well with your health and you've beaten that nasty thing called 'cancer'.
Hi Kari. I like to keep things simple. I keep a shepherds hook plant hanger close to the side of the monument to hang plants on. I also have an incense burner sitting on the monument about a foot off the ground.. it seems to me safe there. During the holidays, I like to put a tripod wreath stand with a Christmas wreath in the snow, which I remove after New Year. The cemetery does a very nice hob of keeping the grounds looking nice. This was a good topic, Kari. Thank you .
Love that!
The veterans cemetery where my parents are laid to rest has restrictions. From November 1st to January 31st you can leave live or artificial holiday decorations. After the 31st, if they're not removed, the cemetery throws them away. During the rest of the year you can only place live flowers on the graves. They stay until they become unsightly. Nothing else is allowed...no solar lights, etc.
Thank you for sharing
@@KaritheMortician you're welcome
I’m thankful that the cemetery where my dad rests posts notice that at the beginning of each month all items on graves will be removed. The area tends to get very windy and special decorations blow around everywhere. I put a flag out for my veteran dad at the start of the month knowing that the next month it will not be there. I just bring another one to put out.
Very nice
Kariiii!!! What a beautiful video!!! I've seen REALLY cool things left at graves. Coins liquor bottles memory trinkets pictures rocks pebbles pumpkins flags books something that the person really loved. I cant say I've seen anything crazy on a headstones. Here in MD at the veterans cemeteries you cannot have flowers decorated or anything. I know many people who have all these flowers and arrangements all over the place and when they get to cemetery they twll them no you cant bring all that stuff in here. I think cemeteries should tell families what is and isn't allowed there just to be clear and beforehand.
Thank you!
Well I think if the family buys a vase then yes only flowers that's it and it has to be in the vase only I think it's disrespectful that you can't put flowers on a veteran grave I mean they did fight for this country
Good topic Kari. I think it is fine to leave a coin or 💐 But some people go over board! I've seen 6 or more shepherds hooks, with wind chimes, solar lights, hanging 🪴 statues, stuffed animals (for adults) and various other toys....And this was all on 1 grave! They also had left empty beer cans/bottles and caps. It looked like a hoarder had moved into the cemetery! You can still honor your loved ones, but keep in mind that you want it to look classy not trashy. Also keep in mind that someone has to mow around that junk! It's sad that a few, ruin it for everyone. I certainly wouldn't want my family to fill up my space...I would have to do some haunting, if they did! Lol 😆 I don't think that our dearly departed, need solar lights! Just sayin'....
Thank you for sharing !
We have that problem here in San Antonio with the Catholic cemeteries. The Archdiocese won’t allow Halloween decorations. They will remove anything that is associated with the Halloween holiday.
Oh wow!
Probably because it is a holiday celebrating the devil and so such decorations are somewhat inappropriate
Thank you! I am on your site because I am placing a cradle on my parents resting place. I don't want to go overboard, but I'm just trying to see how much is enough as opposed to too much. Thank you for your video!
Very nice! Good luck!
Hi Kari!!! I love your channel even though I don't know what a Google play button is.
☺️ My ex husband passed away in 2016 at age 39 from a crazy amount of illnesses. I loved him and took care of him till the very end. Love is love even through divorce. We were together mostly 20 plus years. After his funeral, anything I placed on his headstone would be smashed or stolen. Everything . I called the Rabbi, spoke to the groundskeepers, and head people at the temple. After 4
:) Thank you for sharing
Leaving coins on headstones is a military custom. The money is to go to the cemetary for the maintenance.
Didn't know that.
@@banana9106 I don't remember what the amount is, so much if you knew them, so much if you served with them, so much if you were with them when they fell in battle.
Very nice
The cemeteries around my home town only allow decorations for specific events. Mothers dsy. Fathers Father's day, 4th of July, veterans day. And memorial day . After about 2 weeks you need to remove them or they will toss them.
Thank you!
Here in Florida some of the vault lids are above ground & people will paint them red, blue, green, even purple & also go really wild with the decorations & what looks nice to some looks very tacky to others is all I'm saying.
Kind of cool!
Merry Christmas 🎄 Kari
To you too!
People definitely have the right to put memorials on the graves, but you need to be sensible and if you’re going to put stuff out there you need to eventually go and pick it up also. I can’t really say that I blame the cemeteries for getting rid of stuff if people aren’t going to come and pick it back up again so that the cemetery can be taken care of.
That is the key word sensible :)
love your videos thank you for sharing makes sense hard to upkeep if a lot of trinkets
Thanks so much!
As far as over the top decoration there is always a pile of golf balls at the headstone of Bobby Jones at Oakland in Atlanta. The cemetery does not mind and actually keeps all the golf balls that have ever been left. While I play golf myself I have left a few there. It’s kinda a tradition you might say.
That is cool!
Hi Kari! I am Jewish. We don’t leave trinkets. But we do put stones on the graves and if a cemetery told me that I could not do that it would be a matter of religious respect.
Yes, I have a video on the stones in Jewish cemeteries :)
Thank you!!
You're welcome!
I live in Canada and every year before Christmas wreaths are put at family graves at this important time of the year. No grass cutting or maintenance is done in winter do to snowfall
Thank you!
So what does that mean no one can go visit there love ones cuz the grave is covered? And the headstone can't be seen
Myself and my LH family leaves things, BUT if we get something new we replace something on him so it doesn't get crowded
Nice!
We have a lot of gun violence in Chicago (obviously) and I've noticed the closer you get to the city (usually the big city cemeteries are on the outskirts) people bring those huge mylar balloons that are shaped like numbers, etc.) To celebrate I'm assuming what would have been that young persons' birthday. I totally get it and I'm all for it but I also was seeing a lot of those giant balloons and thinking that it really can't be good for the environment, because a lot of times the balloons just get left there.
Yeah I have not seen that here at all
People don’t care about rules. The cemetery I go to says they will toss out old left behind holiday decorations. Some of the graves are so overwhelmed with Christmas decorations it looks sloppy. When you have multiple family members and friends bringing stuff you feel like you have to leave it there. Right now I would like to remove the thanksgiving decorations that I didn’t put there but the items are not mine. So Xmas is on one side and thanksgiving on the other side.
No they think they don't pertain to them often
Over the top id say Balloons, marbles, rocks... I left a whole vase of fake pink flowers on my grandmas grave, the wind kept knocking it over so I just laid it on her grave, but ive also seen liquor bottles and teddy bears
Thank you!
I am the caretaker of 3 large cemeteries...and I wish family's would not put flowers in glass vases. They almost always get broken and I actually stepped on one while trying to do some extra cleaning at the back of the cemetery
So in the three cemeteries where I have relatives buried. They have a list of rules on decorations. The one that seems consistent is that on a specific day in November all summer decorations are removed, and the same thing happens in early March where winter decorations are removed. I also remember something about decorations must be next to the headstone.
Thank you!
I’ve seen some fancy Halloween decorations here in the South West.
I bet!
Well-intentioned plantings of little cedar bushes either side of the gravestone .. but planted 40 years ago by people who have never returned to see the immense trees their plantings have become.
You got that right. When dad got buried the grave next to his plot had exactly what you said, had even overgrown the stone. The cemetery had to hack it out of there to fit dad's grave in there.
Yes exactly!
Wow. This can be a contentious topic. Even though the cemeteries in my area have rules, people still place objects on graves that are technically against the rules. They get super angry when staff removes the prohibited items and it's an ongoing battle for compliance. Mind you a battle best fought with kid gloves.
Very true!!
In hawaii, they have little hillside cemeteries, a lot of times along the roads. They leave all kinds of stuff pictures and beads and flowers and beer cans full and empty liquor bottles all kinds of stuff, of course lights and what not to. Really kind of cool. The couple we saw, cemeteries that is, weren't that easy to do anything with anyway, mowing-wise.
Very cool!
We have something similar to that. Here in San Antonio the Catholic cemeteries will remove your Halloween decorations.
Thanks!
Contentious topic for obvious reasons. You have to find that balance somewhere, but where and how? The cemetery that I visit on a regular basis is pretty good. I know they remove dead/dying flowers because I have had flowers removed and spoke to a groundskeeper about it. I appreciated the honest answer I was given. It’s different with trinkets , toys and other things left behind. I have seen things that were placed long before I started going to this particular cemetery. I too, have left cans of drink in the space left for the vase, years ago, and they are still there today. It may be a case of different rules for different cemeteries, in different places of the world.
Thank you!
My favorite! 😊
yes!
I left homemade bracelets I made for the late celebrities graves/ crypts I visited in 2012. I visited resting places of Bob Crane and his widow Sigrid Valdis, Rudolph Valentino, Natalie Wood, Karen Carpenter, Marilyn Monroe.
Very cool!
@@KaritheMortician thx
One more thing..Just remember that when you put a bird feeder out, what goes IN a 🐦 also comes OUT! I don't think that they are a good idea at the cemetery, they will poop on everyone's head stone! If you want to honor your loved ones with a feeder...Put it in your yard! And then you can enjoy seeing the birds. I have had to scrub bird poo off of my parents head stones, because their " neighbors " had several feeders. That stuff is like concrete, especially when it's dry in the heat of Summer. Just say no to the bird poop!
lol so true!!
My niece wanted to decorate the family grave, she had already brought a bunch of foil balloons, windmills, flowers etc.. then the following day maintenance removed it and put it in storage, crying hysterically she stormed into the managers office assuming someone stolen it, they explained to her the reason why they had to remove it and she got back all the decorations with her heart broken. We advised her not to go over board but, hopefully lesson learned.
Thank you. There are rules for reasons
Most of the cemeteries here have a clean up date that is clearly posted a month before they actually do it. Some have rules about artificial flowers only during the winter months. I only lay flowers nothing else. So if they are removed I really don't care
Thank you!
You should absolutely be able to leave things on your loved ones grave. Like stated the plot is deeded and yours. I do understand perpetual care however if you agree to that job then you take what goes with it. Such as my job as a nurse it’s been great just to put on a bandaid but when something more challenging arrives I know that is part of my job.
I have family both buried and in a mausoleum and I always make sure everything is up to date with the seasons etc. there’s no worse feeling for me when I look around and see Christmas flowers in the summer. Was the deceased forgotten about? Is the family having trouble? I know I never want to be forgotten.
Thanks
Some things like fake flowers are not allowed but some ppl try to 😊
That's funny cuz I just posted in my group on fb how I think it could be a little disrespectful to throw things away but at the same time the ppl that's putting them down got to think Abt the ppl that got to clean the cemetery too
Thanks
Something I seen on a headstone as a decoration was a month before Valentine's day was Valentine's decimation on the headstone. They 2 day before Valentine's day . Valentine's car on the headstone that said Happy Valentine's day. Is it common to put decorated on headstone & Graves for the holidays ?
I remember driving past a grave, that had a giant teddy bear on it. Belonged to a child for sure. It sat therefor weeks, till it became a little tattered from the elements. I'll always remember that.
So sad
After 4 and 1/2 year's they finally got the damage to stop. With no explanation. Other than I was the first Christian who married into their incredibly long and deep Jewish family. All the way back to Russia and Poland. A reverse hate crime. No other damage was ev done or noticed by me. Because I went all the time. He was my one truck love and soulmate.
I grieved HARD for several years. Like life stopping grief. That's why I went to him so often.
In their beliefs, they don't cremae. The are cleaned, prayed over, and simply wrapped in a blessed shroud and buried in a beautiful but simple wooden casket. If he could have been cremated would I for myself???? NOPE!!!!! His sister and her family -his are nephews and niece and her husband need a place to go to visit him, show him love and share with him.
wow!
My family plot is at a church cemetery, and there are some plots with benches, flowers teddy bears and a garden fence there is no rules regarding grave decorations this grace yard is a historical site because there are men from Vietnam are buried there
Thank you!
Good Morning Kari😀
Happy TUesday!!
About a year ago I visited James Dean's grave. It wasn't anything special just the same as the rest of the cemetery but you could tell it was different because people has signed a rock that on the edge of the pathway. They has also left a few flowers and a (new) cigarette.
Yes!
Who is James dean?
@@thaimays6933 He was a famous actor that was killed in a car accident in the 50s.
A local cemetery where I live at they won't allow any artificial decorations. They toss any that anyone brings out there. Some people also don't read the rules!
Thank you for sharinG!
I knew of some American cemeteries that did not allow artificial flowers but this is something new and totally not nice.
I live in Russia.
We are allowed to decorate graves in almost any way we want to. Lots of flowers (artificial or living, in a vase or without it), a tree of any kind, wreaths, stuffed animals, motorcycle helmets, cards, anything anything anything... We can pick any gravestone from 1ft to 20ft tall from any material we like. There may also be a cross of any size and material or a statue of any size and material.
We do not do flat gravestones.
Our plots have fences.
We do not mow the grass.
So that's how it is. I hope y'all find that interesting ❤️
Thank you!! How do they maintain the lawn there?
@@KaritheMortician Sorry, I don't quite get it. What is a lawn in regards to cemetery?
@@KaritheMortician I don't really know what to answer to your thank you so I'mma thank you back for your videos ❤️
@@Kitty-mb4hy well you said they don't mow the cemetery that's what she means by lawn so if the grass doesn't get cut all yr round I would hate to see what that cemetery looks like and I can't imagine a 20ft Christmas tree in a cemetery that sounds more like a real tree
@@thaimays6933 We do not mow our grass and I think that's okay if the cemetery is otherwise well looked after. (Of course we have cemeteries overgrown with all kinds of vegetartion but these are small village cemeteries, like, half-abandoned.) Also, every plot's maintenance is up to the renters and they may pay someone - a cemetery worker or a separate company worker - to do the maintenance.
Um, I mean we can plant *real* trees within a plot that's ours and there are cemeteries that have trees already from before the land was a cemetery. My relative was buried under a birch tree that was removed some six weeks later when a rich lady was buried next to him and her relatives purchased a heavy and thick marble fence for her grave.
I think only flowers should be left cuz that's what you brought the vase for nothing else but then again I don't have no one I go to visit in a cemetery I went one time 5 yrs ago and I put flowers on my great grandmother uncle's and close friend of mine grave but thats it I haven't been back since
Thank you
I think if the cemetery posts their rules at the entrance to the cemetery, and treats all graves equally, then everyone knows what the standards will be and that is as fair as it gets.
It is the people who feel they are above the rules...
@@KaritheMortician I understand.
I would feel guilty taking something off and throwing it away that's just me. I have a Question? is there any general rule on how to walk in a Cemetery I always try walk at the foot of the graves or between them if I place something on them I stand to the side I guess if I was mowing I would have to walk over the grave's
There is not.
Last time I was out at the cemetery, where my parents are buried, I leave flowers.i think they're very nice, and my mother liked working with her plants. She had a green thumb.
I think liquor bottles are kinda cool, tho. Not too many. Then the grave looks messy. Don't turn someone's grave into a trash can.
Angels & cherubs, are really sweet.
Thank you!
My mom is in a public mausoleum (indoor) and most recently I've seen someone place a firetruck mylar balloon, and the balloon unfortunately covers someone else's crypt, rather than the person it's for. This infuriates me. I don't mind simple flowers, but this is rude and very tacky.
Very true
I’ve seen graves with a small fence around them.
Yes which is not allowed in most places
I don’t know what to put on my kids dad grave we don’t have a headstone yet it’s just leaves I’m thinking of a grave blanket
That would be nice!
Morning from horrendous rain soaked England 💦💦💦... In the cemetery were my son is the headstone is on a raised block of concrete,which is continuous all along the row
Some of the graves have a border extending out 6' x 2' to place marble chippings flowers,ornaments,cans/bottles of beer.It's a difficult one, even on graves of babies/toddlers items have been removed just because they were so full inside of the border.I have noticed in the U.S.A. not any borders or even plant pots set in concrete so flowers can be put which I think is very sad ... Six of one and half a dozen of the other senario! ... 😕 💐🌹🥀🌷🌺🌸🏵️🌼🌼
Happy Tuesday!
Or another thing I just thought Abt if you go there all the time remove the stuff you put there from before so it's not so much that way you know you moved it and no one else did then you can't get mad
:)
I am of the opinion of live and let live, but I do not like creepy halloween type decorations of bones, witches, etc... that are clearly NOT comforting. Instead of remembering happy memories, death is in your FACE and that is where i do draw the line.
thanks
the cemeteries that dont allow decorations and only allow flat headstones for easier mowing are the most boring cemeteries ever... even in regular cemeteries, the older stones all have lawnmower damage even without decorations
Very true
Dang it Kari, I was hoping you’d start singing again 🤗
lol I will have to work a song into a video coming up!
I'm in cemeteries daily bieng a vault guy and I see small matchbox cars a alot
Oh yes that is a good one