I’ve been waiting 40 years for an apology, or even acknowledgment, I finally came to realize exactly what you said…. I think she is too wounded herself. 💔
@@RestfulRoom In my situation I've seen them be extremely spoiled as children; never corrected and that leads to a huge sense of entitlement. When they fail to control others to meet their needs they become enraged and vengeful. The emotional maturity of a three year old.
When your mother has issues and doesn't love you or doesn't show you love, doesn't nurture you, doesn't communicate in a loving way , it just leaves a large hole in your heart that you'll have to heal and fill on your own when you grow up
As the daughter of a toxic mother, I cannot thank you enough for making this video. This side of motherhood is still a very taboo topic in society and most people act shocked if you say that you don't have a loving relationship with your mother or that she was a bad mom to you. I personally hate things like Mother's Day because society expects you to love, honor and respect your mother, but I'm unable to do so because my mother has done too many things that no mom should ever do to her daughter, and I simply cannot forgive her. I don't think I ever will, and it breaks my heart every time I hear naïve people talking about how your mom is always your best friend or your #1 ally in life. I'm sure there are some really amazing mothers out there, but not everyone was lucky enough to have a good mother and I'm grateful to you for addressing this subject.
Wow you just described my story and my thoughts.... My mother is a Narcissist and she abused me all of my life in any way...i also don't have a place in my heart for her, not even a tiny bit of space.... Some things you just can't forget or forgive,no matter how long it's been.... Thank you for sharing 💓
@@baby-xp9dn I'm so sorry for the abuse you had to go through. Thank you so much for sharing 💞 I hope you're doing better now and I wish you a very happy future in spite of the bad things you had to endure in the past. As for me, I have an "okay" relationship with my mother now that I'm older, but there are a lot of things that I will never forgive, and I know I'll have to protect myself against her for the rest of my life. We'll never really be close and I'll never be able to say that she's a good mom. It's so sad when the toxic people in your life are your own family, the people who were supposed to love and protect you. I really envy all the people who grew up with a healthy, stable, loving mother.
@@cherylpiorkowski Me 2... I was always jealous (in a healthy way) of my girlfriends who had such a suppurative - loving mother and system. I could never understand why i was chosen to not have that in my life. It's like a hole 🕳️ in my heart... You're right,the people who were supposed to love and protect you hurt you the most. My mum was my bully 😈👊💪, simple as that. She really hurt my soul deep😓,and it's been very challenging for me to heal from it. The hardest thing for me is that I'm still in contact with her. My biggest dream🌈(literally) is to go off contact with her,so that i could leave this chapter behind me once and for all and live my life,but she's physically sick,and i know that if I'll leave, her condition will get worse,so I'm kinda trapped.... How do you handle it every day?
Same as You. Today i realized She never ever apologized to me. Sorry but what makes me more cry, She Is the same horible granmother. I am very sad, my daugters do not have loving granny. Tank you for this video. Today on fb or instagram Are Věry happy families And loving mothers which makes me underrated.
I completely agree! I have what I call “ a survivor mode relationship” with my mother. I don’t like Mother’s Day either! I stay away from social media and out of card and gift stores. My sister and I just never had that kind of relationship with my mother. It’s a struggle for me to respect her, let alone loving her is very difficult. I used to feel guilty admitting that but I don’t anymore. Thankfully, I have a geographical boundary but a few times a year I do have to go see her if I want to go see my sister because they live in the same geographical area . I love my sister very much and will not sacrifice my relationship with her because of my mother. However - every time I plan to go up there and visit a couple of weeks prior to the trip, the anxiety sets in. It’s a mental training mode. It’s a certain mode of reaction behavior that I have to get into when I go up there so I don’t fall into the same trap. I recite the same affirmation every time I go. “The only way to go is through. It’s only three days and I get to go home.” Sad but true. 🤷♀️
it's so sad to think about because you see all of these mother-daughter duos that are like best friends while you and your mom have such a bad relationship. we will always want that relationship with our mom but we won't get to have it because of all of the issues.
that does feel very challanging indeed. i find to think about building that with ourselves instead is a huge step that is very valuable and beautiful! nurturing ourselves as we wish we would have been.
I didn’t have the best relationship with my mum. She was there for me but she didn’t have the emotional capacity to be there for me. However because of this lack I knew what I didn’t want for my relationship with my children. I now have an 11 year old daughter and we have the most amazing relationship. We are so close and I am there for her emotionally because I know how important this is. I am for her what I needed from my mother. The cycle CAN end if you want it to. It can end with you if you are aware and do the work within ❤❤❤
My mother fed me, hugged me sometimes, prayed for me. She never listened to me, never took my side when my father would rage at me, never wanted to know what I was feeling, never let me cry. She was extremely emotionally unavailable and unpredictable. She'd leave for months on end with no warning but always brought gifts when she came back. I never knew how to feel around her. Thanks for the video Jillz x
I know that my mother would die for me, but mental health problems she suffered when I was young put a huge rift between us that is taking YEARS to heal, I'm sure many would be quick to throw the word 'toxic' mother at her but I know it wasn't her fault and it's so nice to see a video not villainizing all mothers for not being perfect. Wouldn't change my mum for the world despite the issues we faced once upon a time.
She is a lucky mother for having such a great daughter, wish I could see my mom the same way as you. Can you explain what problems ypu guys had exactly?
My mom has bipolar disorder and she blames a lot of her bad habits on that... Its been hard for me to have any kind of relationship at all with her, especially after cheating on my dad. I wish I had the strength that you do and have a relationship with my mom, but at 28 years old I'm still not ready ):
Now I finally figured out why it’s so very difficult for me to step into my femininity… I resonate with everything you say and do certainly have a „mother wound“, but feel relieved now. Thank you so much 💐
Damn, this called me out !! My boyfriend constantly reminds me that my needs deserve to be met and that i matter. there was loads of jealousy but hatred if I wasn’t perfect. I just wanted to be loved.
It's amazing the power mothers hold. I've been broken my entire life due to mother wounds. However, at 46 years young, I get it. I actually feel sorry that my mother never got the opportunity to love and nurture me like I've nurtured my daughters. Thankfully, I was able to do this with the grace of God. Be blessed, ladies, and make sure you break that generational curse by being a great mother to your children. And if you've already made identical mistakes that your mom has made, go right now and apologize. Something we all been waiting for that will probably never happen, but that won't be your child's narrative 😊
As soon as I clicked on this video I knew I was in for some heavy feelings, this is one of the reasons I don’t want to have children yet. I know I have to heal this wound and all the other things first so my babies don’t receive my wounds. thank you ❤️
My mom was not much of a physical touch person.. I’ve noticed that I crave physical touch a lot at times or am easily overstimulated if too many people touch me. My daughter is 10 years old and very touchy feely. Always wants hugs and physical touch and at times I get annoyed but then I think about the fact that that is what I’ve longed for so I make sure to give her extra tight hugs and a million sloppy kisses and she never ever pushes me away… I love her so much ❤
I was literally just thinking about how my mum has affected who I am and how I deal with things today and your video just showed what I have to do next to heal from it. You're the best! Thank you so much🥰🥰❤️
This issue is SO important for women desirous of stepping into their power and authentic femininity. I experienced every single example of "mother wounding" mentioned in this video, and it has severely impacted my adult life, from career choices to who I married (and subsequently divorced, and changed career path too), chronic anxiety, indecisiveness, and insomnia. Once I started addressing the core issue (mother wounds), I slowly but surely started healing. I began the process of stepping into my authentic self. Thank you Jillz, this is pure gold. Not only are you brining awareness, but you are also providing steps to begin the healing journey.
This is hard. Im tired of being the parent, Im just tired. Thank you for this. Im an empath and need to keep things positive during winter time. Struggling a bit. Your videos help as im trying to be my own cheerleader and remother. Inner critic can be loud.
Wow, this is hitting home so much... My mom is pretty great, comparatively speaking. She's not a bad person or a narcissist or anything like that. She never really tried to control me or snoop on me. She has always given me plenty of physical affection. And I have always felt her love for me. However, she is an EXTREMELY critical person, of both others and herself, blowing up over the smallest mistakes. And because I have ADHD, she had much more to criticize when it came to me simply because of my forgetful, scatterbrained, and disorganized nature. And it's clear that I've seen the negative effects of her behavior in my own life... I have very low confidence in my abilities. I have struggled with feelings of guilt and worthlessness at many points in my life. I definitely have developed an avoidant attachment style. I tend to keep people at arm's length, but the rare times I let people close to me, I become clingy and jealous. And I absolutely struggle making and keeping female friends. In fact, the repeated loss and betrayal of female friends has been the biggest source of pain in my life. At one point, I viewed women and womanhood in general as being evidence of "evil" almost. To me, the most feminine girls were always the most horrible to me, and so I associated femininity with being a bad person. I spent many years entirely rejecting my femininity. If I'd been born at a different time, I guarantee I would have started identifying as non-binary or even a trans-man. Thankfully, I came to terms with and started embracing my femininity later in my life, and so that never happened. And one of the things I want most in life is simply peacefulness. I also feel like I'm following in my mother's footsteps, being both too critical of myself and of others. I don't tend to blow up or get overwhelmed by people's mistakes like she does. In fact, I think I am pretty gentle with people when I bring up things that they could do better. Where I think I fall flat is giving praise. I feel uncomfortable when receiving praise or compliments from people, as if I don't really deserve it. I sometimes think the person complimenting me is either trying to manipulate me or that I've somehow fooled them into thinking I'm better than I really am. Likewise, I really struggle to give people compliments and praise for when they do something good or something I appreciate. I tend to try doing more actions, like giving hugs or buying gifts etc. But I rarely outright express my gratitude or admiration in words to people. And I think that's a big flaw in me.
heyyy i have adhd too and everything else is so similar from someone who grew from hiding her femininity to embracing this side of me you will be fine and you will absolutely make it and its completely human to feel all of it. For me it was always looking for mother figures in school teachers and other women in general trust me it scars and till date im scared to trust women but im working on it i encourage you to do the same. If not for you then for your kids which you might have do u want them to feel how you did! ending this paragraph and i wish you bunch of healing and love.
I don’t have ADHD but I am on the Autism Spectrum and I struggle with the same thing. It’s very hard for me to be vulnerable (I’m a sensitive person but I was made to feel like my vulnerability was a weakness). Since turning 30, I have been showing more of my vulnerability and my gratitude for people (particularly with men) but that’s because I have been going to therapy on and off since I was 13 and have been on my self love journey since I was 25.
this video is so right on. thank you. it’s taken me 56 years to heal all of what you’ve touched on. and, having my own child at age 40 - with the awareness of what my mother was unable to give me, helped me in raising my child while also healing my own inner child through that process ✨
A really important video. It makes me think. I broke out in a rash when my mother died. It still has not healed, I am working on my feelings around this. Lots of love to everyone
My soul thanks you so much for this video! I started on my self healing journey about 8 years ago and focused only on the relationship with my father but after hearing this, now I know most of my healing is also towards my mother. I now realize that both of them did the very best they could based on their own childhood and life experiences. This is the first video I comment on but I am very thankful for your video content because it’s helped me in my healing journey. Thank you 🙌🏼💕💐
I love how in this video, feeling empathy towards the mother is emphasized together with acknowledging the mother wound. I was always scarred of thinking back towards this issue because of the guilt. Knowing that you can acknowledge the wound AND feel empathy towards your mother is GOLD
Thank you so much for this video… Your explanation on the topic was spot on! I recently realised that the best friend (mum) that I had was truly nothing more than a extremely codependent mother who can only value any relationship if she is the centre of attention n goes to the extent of constantly victimising herself to gain sympathy from everywhere! This amplified when my dad passed away and her villainizing him transferred to viIlainizing me and my husband… It’s heartbreaking truly as I care so deeply for her and know all of this is subconscious from her wounds which she suffered at a young age, but it’s way too toxic to continue like this😢
Some people almost judge you over being bad daughter if you say you dint have good relationship with your mother. But when you mentioned that part of receiving love from a mother, I personally don't even know what that is, in my culture they say if mother screams at you if means she loves you because that is her way showing she cares about you, in the case I may received a lot of it. I use to believe that was the true. It took me many years of an anxiety and health issues till I realized that it's the trauma of the toxic parents I had. Yes they went through lots of darkness in their life but till today they prefer to blame everyone else for what the have done.
Thank you so much for the work you’re doing 🙏🏻💓 I recently had a daughter and your videos have helped me become the mother and woman I’ve always wanted to be/hope to be for her 🥲🙏🏻✨
All this time I thought I was not meant for relationships but it was mommy issues as my mom suffered from schizophrenia as well as leaving me constantly. Even my dad abandoned me, I grew up hating my parents. Now I don't hate my parents, because I try to understand them as individuals, but I still haven't healed. And it took all these years, to understand that I am enough, but it will take time to believe it. I discovered your channel just 5 days ago and I want to Thank you immensely for the work that you're doing. I have been complaining of my boyfriend even if he has always been perfect for me. And he has mostly been criticised, I slowly lowered it, but couldn't stop my inner voice of him not being enough. And the truth was, my mother, because of her health conditions made me feel not being enough even though I was always doing more than my best. Thank you so much beautiful. May God bless you abundantly.
I can’t thank you enough for this video. I literally couldn’t stop crying when you were talking about mother wounds. Listening to you was so comforting. As people don’t normally share these experiences, it’s hard to know if it’s just me going through this problem but seeing your video, it feels better that I am not the only one. Thank you so much❤
Thanks for the lovely video! I needed some sense after a difficult moment. The way that dealing with 'mother' runs so deep,it feels like (even as a grown-up, 46) we cant be unbound from loving her and desiring a nurturing loving connection in whatever capacity. When Ive mastered all other relationships / connections with people and can quite easily end bad ones or stand my ground or set boundaries in any other types of interaction to strengthen it or simply keep the peace in my own life. All of that falls away in a mother-daughter relationship in the sense that we remain vulnerable and we simply cannot escape that. Its just wild to me to feel so tiny after harsh words and not be able to 'clap back' or 'set them straight' like in other situations. We remain at the mercy of her ability or inability to nurture .
I grew up in foster homes. I have them all. However I have done a lot of work on themes but there are somethings I know I need to. I know she’s incredibly wounded but it’s not my job to help or heal her. I love and forgive her, but I did try at one point and that’s when I realized I need to support myself and my kids. It’s affected my relationships and finding a good partner. I am anxious and avoidant to a point. And because of the work I did do I know my worth, and nurture myself. There’s alot. But thank you for this
I always thought It was all my fault. Every night I think about the most heart shattering harsh words she said to me.. doesn't she love me anymore? Like where tf it all went wrong!
Exact same experience! Those words linger. Its insane how painful harsh loveless comments are, even at my age 46, Im heartbroken by what she just told me. So difficult especially when you cant unlove ..your own mother..
I did not expect to cry today but this is such an important video. I realise the reason my mother might be the way she was when she was 16 and a child herself and her father leaving. But still..
This video is great. You are very beautiful and kind. Thanks so much for making this. I love the background too. You are so soft and feminine. Very nice video! Have a nice day.
Jillz, I have so much appreciation and gratitude for this video and the topic of the mother-daughter relationship that you chose to discuss here. I have no words, I only wish more and more women watch this video! IT'S SO IMPORTANT for us as women to be aware of this connection we share with our mothers because it can affect our relationship to life itself and since our mothers are the source of our lives it's vital for our happiness to bring the light of awareness here, on this relationship. The mother is the source of how safe we feel in the world and, I suspect, of our willingness to receive and if we have a broken connection with our mothers, our own ability and desire to receive can be impacted. Thank you for making this video, greetings from Bulgaria!
I can relate to everything you say, its spot on. My mother left our family for an alcoholic when I was 8 and myself and my younger sisters didnt see her again until we were adults. It wasn't until I found your channel that I realised how much this has affected my feminine energy and how much I lived in masculine, I guess from being raised by an emotionally unavailable (but great) dad. It is so true about trauma passing through generations and I see now that both of my parents were passing down their own childhood traumas. Self development is helping me hugely to not repeat history and my relationship with my own children, especially my daughter has greatly helped me to heal and determined to be the best mum I can to them. This isnt always easy as an introverted empath working on low self esteem and triggers. Thanks for this lovely validating and supportive video. As a mature psychology student I love the research references too! Keep up the amazing work and glad you are feeling better. Much love from the UK 💙
Thank you so much for this video! From long as I remember myself, my mother used to beat me for every small mistake(she's very short-tempered and irritable, perfectionist). I remember the day other kids in class told me nobody is physically abusing them and I was thinking their parents were wrong for not properly raising them 💀 When I was anorexic, she told me nobody will ever love me and these words stick with me even today. The only thing I regret is that I was actively taking my rage and pain on my little brother who had special treatment from her. I was so ruthless and jealous of him, I would slap him just the way I was. Now,that I'm 21, I asked forgiveness from him and I truly regret doing that.
For most people Mommy wounds are often from Narcissistic Mothers and Daddy issues are caused by Narc Fathers. Unfortunately, some people have both, I certainly do.
I can relate so much to that craving to be a little girl again, to not have any responsibilities this time round. I am the eldest of three siblings, an immigrant, and have a sister who is physically disabled. Since I can remember my parents have relied on me to do their paperwork, help my sister with school work, sometimes at the expense of my own needs. I envy my female friends who are so much more carefree and positive about life and have a more youthful vibe.
Im 15. My mom has been in and out but constantly on drugs. I had to learn that my mom went through a very rough childhood. She started meth at 14. She just pushed trauma on to me. And she has said very hurtful things. I like this comment section makes me feel safe. Some people really know how it feels.
What helps me to cope is to see my mother as that hurt child. She doesn't know any better because she had a crappy childhood herself. She doesn't know how to nurture properly, because she hasn't been nurtured
Every single toxic trait you mentioned in this video I experienced, plus more. My mom used to purposely give me food that went bad 😞 I got sick so many times from her doing that to me but then she would yell at me for days about it if I did get sick. She would make me go to school like that and told me I'd better not go to the nurse's office because she wasn't going to pick me up. She told me that I was wasting the food 😢 ..by getting sick 😞 A teacher wanted to send me to the nurse's office once before because I was so sick but I started shaking and told her I couldn't go but I could never bring myself to explain the reason why.. so they assumed that I had anxiety over going to the nurse, so they sent a classmate with me in the kid and the nurse kept coddling me because they thought I was afraid of the nurse 🤦🏻♀️
I love my mom (She’s the reason why I want to keep improving myself and she believed in me when no one else in my family did) but being a first generation Cuban-American on both sides, my mom was very stern, always speaks her mind, and a perfectionist (That need to be perfect she passed down to me and my sisters; With my oldest sister in her, it manifested severe body image issues and anxiety/depression; In me, it manifested into this constant need to prove myself). Also, being the youngest my mom (even now at barely 31 years old) is over protective and it makes me feel sometimes that I’m not good enough with just being me.
I think you can really change my life. It hurts so much recognizing that I might haven‘t had the mother I longed for. I think not only my relationship to my dad was toxic but also to my mother. And it hurts me that I have to distance myself foe healing…
Beyond thankful to have found this channel! I always leave feeling understood and with great book recommendations!!! Thank you for your valuable work❤ I’m slowly replacing reality tv with your videos and I couldn’t be any happier
Thank you so much You are right as I am I don't have a good mother daughter relationship, everything you mention is what's really happening to me till now I love attention,I love to be pampered, but my mom is not a romantic type
The past week I asked my mother to stop commenting on my physical body because the past 24 years it has been a main topic of conversation and I am over it. She responded with “how dare you blame me because you are upset with me” “I only comment on your body because I am proud” “I can never say anything to you” “you have hurt me so much, don’t not text me”. If I cannot have a mature conversation with a harmless request and get met with accusations of attacking her, I’m sure we will never get to the relationship I want to be with her. It’s sad.
I have a complicated relationship with my mother. Can’t love her, but can’t hate her without guilt. Definitely yearn for a type of relationship that will never be
I know that my mom would die for me... but from a very deep part of myself, I feel like I have never ever needed her even when I was a baby. There is literally no emotional connection between us. She never hugged me. Now at the age of 20, she wants to cuddle me and say all the beautiful words but they do not mean anything to me. I literally feel like a wall but with a too much guilt.I do not know what to do. I also grew up without a father that there is literally very little compassion towards myself. I do not know what love is. But I need it so badly that I obsess over man, I feel like all my problems are gonna be solved when I was liked by a boy unconditionally.
Yes effectively I have at least one mother-wound and the worst one that she tarnished my father’s reputation because she used to say to me and my sisters when we were kids that he cheated on her without any proves and he was her wounds’s source and so we hated our father for long time and didn’t consider him as he deserves but today we have understood that she was depressive may god forgive her , despite all this I still love and respect and support her and have empathy and consider her acts as lack of awareness I hope I won’t hurt my daughters from any side or cause to them any emotional wounds or trauma
Thanks for this video, Jillz! This was very helpful. I've been working on my mother wound for a while and it's definitely better, but I have lots more work to do.
@@JillzGuerin thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️ I've been thinking a lot about this topic today and am trying to figure out how to move forward. My major issue I've been working on is codependency. My mom was majorly codependent with her mom and when her mom passed on, she transferred that codependency onto my dad and me. I've been working on my codependency for years and it's so much better now. There are still lingering issues with my mom, one of them being she constantly complains to me about my dad. (they are married). She has built up resentment for years and criticizes him regularly in front me, to me when he is not around. I've tried setting a boundary by asking that we don't talk in a negative way about my dad when he is not around. She agreed. Yet she can't do it. She may be looking for some mothering from me here as residual codependency from her mom. I can't mother my mom on her issues with my dad. Do you have any tips on how to handle this situation?
my mom is an incredible woman she always took care of us and suffered from my dad's bad traits I don't know why i have a very bad relationship with her and I am totally convinced that i am the one that is toxic and not good enough for our relationship, she always says that i have my dad's bad traits i don't see it much but i think she s right because i am bad at showing my love for her and i am always wrong at choosing the words to tell her and i end up with bad end at every conversation because i didn't gave her the support that she needs and she think that i am in my dad's side whitch is no true but i am always failing at showing that enaugh or i show or did something to look like i am not woth her and i don't support her .AND i feel that the more we're away from each other the more i don't cause her disappointment or heartbreak the more i am near the more our relationship get worse and worse
My mother was not loving, warm or kind. When she was over 90 years of age she admitted to me that she neglected me. It was a good thing for her to say, but it came so late, that it really didn't make any difference to me.
😦 😧 wow… the way i needed this today. thank you so SO much! this hit the nail on the head over and over. i’m currently dealing with the wounds now and struggling getting over resentment. spoke to me. I appreciate this today especially since over on Instagram a lot of posting with what seems to be healthy mom-daughter relationship . I do understand that she meant the best and loves me and didn’t show it in the best way because of her upbringing. It still sucks, but I. an only work through it to get over this hump. it’s been about of year of some work and will probably take a few more. i did call her at least today to say happy mother’s day! This made me feel lighter and better thank you so much Jillz, you are the best! 💕🤍💕
what an awesome video! I used the same monkey experiment to illustrate an entirely different point, i love the diversity of thought that we can have even within the same niche. really wonderful video ❤
However, I am of the opinion that in the case of problems with the mother, it is not enough to write in a diary or analyze it on your own. You have to go to psychotherapy, otherwise we only treat the shell, not the underlying cause. I say this from experience and I immediately emphasize that it helped ... but not so that the mother became a friend. It helped because I feel valuable and I do not count on the transformation of the relationship.
if you were born between June 21, 1988 and July 21, 1991 you have chiron in cancer, and this is especially relevant. Pluto was also trine chiron which is an "easy flowing" archetype between the "emotional security oriented scorpio" archetype, "wounding from chiron" archetype, "fear and power dynamics" archetype from pluto and "your family, especially Mother" archetype from cancer. This is written into our lifestories so that we can overcome this and impact the world in a specific way. It might not be your mom, maybe its an absent dad, maybe its an abusive dynamic. Something wasn't right, something was very wrong. None of our generational neighbors has this but in 1937 there was something similar, Pluto in Cancer, Chiron in Cancer. Similar archetypes came up around 1947 and 1996.
Mother wounds from overly critical mom in fear i would brcome better than her and never need her. I now understand she fears me becoming powerful or rich bc i would not need her anymore and she says if i think i will make it on my own and not include her i will fail. She wants to keep me close to her all her life but she will not.Not anymore. she will retire alone and old. Also lack of human touch has caused me anxiety to a high dregee
An apology is never coming they can't, they are too wounded themselves. We have to work hard on ourselves to give us the self love we need.❤❤❤❤
Their not always wounded.Sometimes yes but sometimes they are malignant and enjoy making others miserable.
I’ve been waiting 40 years for an apology, or even acknowledgment, I finally came to realize exactly what you said…. I think she is too wounded herself. 💔
@@krisluvsutube2684a healthy 'whole' person would never do that, and no one borns being toxic.
@@RestfulRoom In my situation I've seen them be extremely spoiled as children; never corrected and that leads to a huge sense of entitlement. When they fail to control others to meet their needs they become enraged and vengeful. The emotional maturity of a three year old.
Thank you very much for this nugget of info. It's been hard to forgive her.
When your mother has issues and doesn't love you or doesn't show you love, doesn't nurture you, doesn't communicate in a loving way , it just leaves a large hole in your heart that you'll have to heal and fill on your own when you grow up
As the daughter of a toxic mother, I cannot thank you enough for making this video. This side of motherhood is still a very taboo topic in society and most people act shocked if you say that you don't have a loving relationship with your mother or that she was a bad mom to you. I personally hate things like Mother's Day because society expects you to love, honor and respect your mother, but I'm unable to do so because my mother has done too many things that no mom should ever do to her daughter, and I simply cannot forgive her. I don't think I ever will, and it breaks my heart every time I hear naïve people talking about how your mom is always your best friend or your #1 ally in life. I'm sure there are some really amazing mothers out there, but not everyone was lucky enough to have a good mother and I'm grateful to you for addressing this subject.
Wow you just described my story and my thoughts.... My mother is a Narcissist and she abused me all of my life in any way...i also don't have a place in my heart for her, not even a tiny bit of space.... Some things you just can't forget or forgive,no matter how long it's been.... Thank you for sharing 💓
@@baby-xp9dn I'm so sorry for the abuse you had to go through. Thank you so much for sharing 💞 I hope you're doing better now and I wish you a very happy future in spite of the bad things you had to endure in the past. As for me, I have an "okay" relationship with my mother now that I'm older, but there are a lot of things that I will never forgive, and I know I'll have to protect myself against her for the rest of my life. We'll never really be close and I'll never be able to say that she's a good mom. It's so sad when the toxic people in your life are your own family, the people who were supposed to love and protect you. I really envy all the people who grew up with a healthy, stable, loving mother.
@@cherylpiorkowski Me 2... I was always jealous (in a healthy way) of my girlfriends who had such a suppurative - loving mother and system. I could never understand why i was chosen to not have that in my life. It's like a hole 🕳️ in my heart... You're right,the people who were supposed to love and protect you hurt you the most. My mum was my bully 😈👊💪, simple as that. She really hurt my soul deep😓,and it's been very challenging for me to heal from it.
The hardest thing for me is that I'm still in contact with her. My biggest dream🌈(literally) is to go off contact with her,so that i could leave this chapter behind me once and for all and live my life,but she's physically sick,and i know that if I'll leave, her condition will get worse,so I'm kinda trapped....
How do you handle it every day?
Same as You. Today i realized She never ever apologized to me. Sorry but what makes me more cry, She Is the same horible granmother. I am very sad, my daugters do not have loving granny. Tank you for this video. Today on fb or instagram Are Věry happy families And loving mothers which makes me underrated.
I completely agree! I have what I call “ a survivor mode relationship” with my mother. I don’t like Mother’s Day either! I stay away from social media and out of card and gift stores. My sister and I just never had that kind of relationship with my mother. It’s a struggle for me to respect her, let alone loving her is very difficult. I used to feel guilty admitting that but I don’t anymore. Thankfully, I have a geographical boundary but a few times a year I do have to go see her if I want to go see my sister because they live in the same geographical area . I love my sister very much and will not sacrifice my relationship with her because of my mother. However - every time I plan to go up there and visit a couple of weeks prior to the trip, the anxiety sets in. It’s a mental training mode. It’s a certain mode of reaction behavior that I have to get into when I go up there so I don’t fall into the same trap. I recite the same affirmation every time I go.
“The only way to go is through. It’s only three days and I get to go home.” Sad but true. 🤷♀️
it's so sad to think about because you see all of these mother-daughter duos that are like best friends while you and your mom have such a bad relationship. we will always want that relationship with our mom but we won't get to have it because of all of the issues.
that does feel very challanging indeed. i find to think about building that with ourselves instead is a huge step that is very valuable and beautiful! nurturing ourselves as we wish we would have been.
I didn’t have the best relationship with my mum. She was there for me but she didn’t have the emotional capacity to be there for me. However because of this lack I knew what I didn’t want for my relationship with my children. I now have an 11 year old daughter and we have the most amazing relationship. We are so close and I am there for her emotionally because I know how important this is. I am for her what I needed from my mother. The cycle CAN end if you want it to. It can end with you if you are aware and do the work within ❤❤❤
My mother fed me, hugged me sometimes, prayed for me. She never listened to me, never took my side when my father would rage at me, never wanted to know what I was feeling, never let me cry. She was extremely emotionally unavailable and unpredictable. She'd leave for months on end with no warning but always brought gifts when she came back. I never knew how to feel around her. Thanks for the video Jillz x
You’re welcome. I hope it was helpful 💕
Yes! That’s my exact experience too
I know that my mother would die for me, but mental health problems she suffered when I was young put a huge rift between us that is taking YEARS to heal, I'm sure many would be quick to throw the word 'toxic' mother at her but I know it wasn't her fault and it's so nice to see a video not villainizing all mothers for not being perfect. Wouldn't change my mum for the world despite the issues we faced once upon a time.
She is a lucky mother for having such a great daughter, wish I could see my mom the same way as you. Can you explain what problems ypu guys had exactly?
My mom has bipolar disorder and she blames a lot of her bad habits on that... Its been hard for me to have any kind of relationship at all with her, especially after cheating on my dad. I wish I had the strength that you do and have a relationship with my mom, but at 28 years old I'm still not ready ):
I didn’t realize how wounded I was until i was 39. It’s lonely having a mother who is emotionally immature and unavailable.
People don’t really talk about this side of motherhood. I needed to hear this on Mother’s Day. Thank you.
❤️❤️
I was literally crying at night watching this video, thank you. I hope more people see this.
Sending you love! ❤️❤️
same
Me too
Now I finally figured out why it’s so very difficult for me to step into my femininity… I resonate with everything you say and do certainly have a „mother wound“, but feel relieved now.
Thank you so much 💐
You’re so welcome ❤️ I feel like it’s more common than we think!
i never ever cried so much watching a video
Damn, this called me out !! My boyfriend constantly reminds me that my needs deserve to be met and that i matter. there was loads of jealousy but hatred if I wasn’t perfect. I just wanted to be loved.
The part about losing one’s childhood pretty early resonates with me.
It's amazing the power mothers hold. I've been broken my entire life due to mother wounds. However, at 46 years young, I get it. I actually feel sorry that my mother never got the opportunity to love and nurture me like I've nurtured my daughters. Thankfully, I was able to do this with the grace of God. Be blessed, ladies, and make sure you break that generational curse by being a great mother to your children. And if you've already made identical mistakes that your mom has made, go right now and apologize. Something we all been waiting for that will probably never happen, but that won't be your child's narrative 😊
Watching this made me cry, i didn‘t expect this. 😞😞😞
❤️❤️❤️❤️
As soon as I clicked on this video I knew I was in for some heavy feelings, this is one of the reasons I don’t want to have children yet. I know I have to heal this wound and all the other things first so my babies don’t receive my wounds. thank you ❤️
Not many people even have the self awareness to try to heal those wounds before having kids so you’re on the right path ❤️❤️
My mom was not much of a physical touch person.. I’ve noticed that I crave physical touch a lot at times or am easily overstimulated if too many people touch me. My daughter is 10 years old and very touchy feely. Always wants hugs and physical touch and at times I get annoyed but then I think about the fact that that is what I’ve longed for so I make sure to give her extra tight hugs and a million sloppy kisses and she never ever pushes me away… I love her so much ❤
I was literally just thinking about how my mum has affected who I am and how I deal with things today and your video just showed what I have to do next to heal from it. You're the best! Thank you so much🥰🥰❤️
Yay so glad this video came at the perfect time for you 💖
This issue is SO important for women desirous of stepping into their power and authentic femininity. I experienced every single example of "mother wounding" mentioned in this video, and it has severely impacted my adult life, from career choices to who I married (and subsequently divorced, and changed career path too), chronic anxiety, indecisiveness, and insomnia. Once I started addressing the core issue (mother wounds), I slowly but surely started healing. I began the process of stepping into my authentic self. Thank you Jillz, this is pure gold. Not only are you brining awareness, but you are also providing steps to begin the healing journey.
This is hard. Im tired of being the parent, Im just tired. Thank you for this. Im an empath and need to keep things positive during winter time. Struggling a bit. Your videos help as im trying to be my own cheerleader and remother. Inner critic can be loud.
Wow, this is hitting home so much...
My mom is pretty great, comparatively speaking. She's not a bad person or a narcissist or anything like that. She never really tried to control me or snoop on me. She has always given me plenty of physical affection. And I have always felt her love for me. However, she is an EXTREMELY critical person, of both others and herself, blowing up over the smallest mistakes. And because I have ADHD, she had much more to criticize when it came to me simply because of my forgetful, scatterbrained, and disorganized nature. And it's clear that I've seen the negative effects of her behavior in my own life... I have very low confidence in my abilities. I have struggled with feelings of guilt and worthlessness at many points in my life. I definitely have developed an avoidant attachment style. I tend to keep people at arm's length, but the rare times I let people close to me, I become clingy and jealous. And I absolutely struggle making and keeping female friends. In fact, the repeated loss and betrayal of female friends has been the biggest source of pain in my life. At one point, I viewed women and womanhood in general as being evidence of "evil" almost. To me, the most feminine girls were always the most horrible to me, and so I associated femininity with being a bad person. I spent many years entirely rejecting my femininity. If I'd been born at a different time, I guarantee I would have started identifying as non-binary or even a trans-man. Thankfully, I came to terms with and started embracing my femininity later in my life, and so that never happened. And one of the things I want most in life is simply peacefulness.
I also feel like I'm following in my mother's footsteps, being both too critical of myself and of others. I don't tend to blow up or get overwhelmed by people's mistakes like she does. In fact, I think I am pretty gentle with people when I bring up things that they could do better. Where I think I fall flat is giving praise. I feel uncomfortable when receiving praise or compliments from people, as if I don't really deserve it. I sometimes think the person complimenting me is either trying to manipulate me or that I've somehow fooled them into thinking I'm better than I really am. Likewise, I really struggle to give people compliments and praise for when they do something good or something I appreciate. I tend to try doing more actions, like giving hugs or buying gifts etc. But I rarely outright express my gratitude or admiration in words to people. And I think that's a big flaw in me.
heyyy i have adhd too and everything else is so similar
from someone who grew from hiding her femininity to embracing this side of me you will be fine and you will absolutely make it and its completely human to feel all of it. For me it was always looking for mother figures in school teachers and other women in general trust me it scars and till date im scared to trust women but im working on it i encourage you to do the same. If not for you then for your kids which you might have do u want them to feel how you did! ending this paragraph and i wish you bunch of healing and love.
I have a very similar past. I’m trying to embrace my feminity! We got this.
I don’t have ADHD but I am on the Autism Spectrum and I struggle with the same thing. It’s very hard for me to be vulnerable (I’m a sensitive person but I was made to feel like my vulnerability was a weakness). Since turning 30, I have been showing more of my vulnerability and my gratitude for people (particularly with men) but that’s because I have been going to therapy on and off since I was 13 and have been on my self love journey since I was 25.
this video is so right on. thank you. it’s taken me 56 years to heal all of what you’ve touched on. and, having my own child at age 40 - with the awareness of what my mother was unable to give me, helped me in raising my child while also healing my own inner child through that process ✨
Finally: someone who understands. I only have one mother in the world. If she doesn't love me or care about me, the pain is unbearable.
A really important video. It makes me think. I broke out in a rash when my mother died. It still has not healed, I am working on my feelings around this. Lots of love to everyone
Never had a mother growing up and I never heard of this “mother wound” thank you so much for making this video, subscribed❤️
My soul thanks you so much for this video! I started on my self healing journey about 8 years ago and focused only on the relationship with my father but after hearing this, now I know most of my healing is also towards my mother. I now realize that both of them did the very best they could based on their own childhood and life experiences. This is the first video I comment on but I am very thankful for your video content because it’s helped me in my healing journey. Thank you 🙌🏼💕💐
Aw I’m so glad this video helped you. Sending you so much love 💕
I love how in this video, feeling empathy towards the mother is emphasized together with acknowledging the mother wound. I was always scarred of thinking back towards this issue because of the guilt. Knowing that you can acknowledge the wound AND feel empathy towards your mother is GOLD
Thank you so much for this video… Your explanation on the topic was spot on! I recently realised that the best friend (mum) that I had was truly nothing more than a extremely codependent mother who can only value any relationship if she is the centre of attention n goes to the extent of constantly victimising herself to gain sympathy from everywhere! This amplified when my dad passed away and her villainizing him transferred to viIlainizing me and my husband… It’s heartbreaking truly as I care so deeply for her and know all of this is subconscious from her wounds which she suffered at a young age, but it’s way too toxic to continue like this😢
Some people almost judge you over being bad daughter if you say you dint have good relationship with your mother. But when you mentioned that part of receiving love from a mother, I personally don't even know what that is, in my culture they say if mother screams at you if means she loves you because that is her way showing she cares about you, in the case I may received a lot of it. I use to believe that was the true. It took me many years of an anxiety and health issues till I realized that it's the trauma of the toxic parents I had. Yes they went through lots of darkness in their life but till today they prefer to blame everyone else for what the have done.
Thank you so much for the work you’re doing 🙏🏻💓 I recently had a daughter and your videos have helped me become the mother and woman I’ve always wanted to be/hope to be for her 🥲🙏🏻✨
I’m here because I have toxic mom trauma…. And I feel like I’m passing it on to my daughter& I truly don’t want that.
All this time I thought I was not meant for relationships but it was mommy issues as my mom suffered from schizophrenia as well as leaving me constantly. Even my dad abandoned me, I grew up hating my parents. Now I don't hate my parents, because I try to understand them as individuals, but I still haven't healed. And it took all these years, to understand that I am enough, but it will take time to believe it. I discovered your channel just 5 days ago and I want to Thank you immensely for the work that you're doing. I have been complaining of my boyfriend even if he has always been perfect for me. And he has mostly been criticised, I slowly lowered it, but couldn't stop my inner voice of him not being enough. And the truth was, my mother, because of her health conditions made me feel not being enough even though I was always doing more than my best. Thank you so much beautiful. May God bless you abundantly.
😭 This video was relevant to every detail. Thank you Jillz for describing it and ideas how to undo it!!! 💜
So glad it was helpful for you! 💕💕
Ofc this shows up on my feed after Mother’s Day.
Your channel is gold
I can’t thank you enough for this video. I literally couldn’t stop crying when you were talking about mother wounds. Listening to you was so comforting. As people don’t normally share these experiences, it’s hard to know if it’s just me going through this problem but seeing your video, it feels better that I am not the only one. Thank you so much❤
Omg my mother all the way. Ill say that after she passed i felt the weight lifted.
I love that you did this on Mother’s Day you are my idol❤️
❤️❤️ Mother’s Day isn’t easy for everyone!
Thanks for the lovely video! I needed some sense after a difficult moment.
The way that dealing with 'mother' runs so deep,it feels like (even as a grown-up, 46) we cant be unbound from loving her and desiring a nurturing loving connection in whatever capacity. When Ive mastered all other relationships / connections with people and can quite easily end bad ones or stand my ground or set boundaries in any other types of interaction to strengthen it or simply keep the peace in my own life. All of that falls away in a mother-daughter relationship in the sense that we remain vulnerable and we simply cannot escape that.
Its just wild to me to feel so tiny after harsh words and not be able to 'clap back' or 'set them straight' like in other situations. We remain at the mercy of her ability or inability to nurture .
Oh yes! Please more on this! And reparenting! Being the mother to yourself ❤️🩹
Noted! ❤️
I grew up in foster homes. I have them all. However I have done a lot of work on themes but there are somethings I know I need to. I know she’s incredibly wounded but it’s not my job to help or heal her. I love and forgive her, but I did try at one point and that’s when I realized I need to support myself and my kids. It’s affected my relationships and finding a good partner. I am anxious and avoidant to a point. And because of the work I did do I know my worth, and nurture myself. There’s alot. But thank you for this
I always thought It was all my fault. Every night I think about the most heart shattering harsh words she said to me..
doesn't she love me anymore?
Like where tf it all went wrong!
Exact same experience! Those words linger. Its insane how painful harsh loveless comments are, even at my age 46, Im heartbroken by what she just told me. So difficult especially when you cant unlove ..your own mother..
Your content helps me a lot...thank you so much💖
I did not expect to cry today but this is such an important video. I realise the reason my mother might be the way she was when she was 16 and a child herself and her father leaving. But still..
Thank you for this lovely video. I learned alot. Can you consider making a video about wounded father-daughter relationship as well?
You’re welcome!! I’ll try to do that in the future 💕
This video is great. You are very beautiful and kind. Thanks so much for making this. I love the background too. You are so soft and feminine. Very nice video! Have a nice day.
Needing some space to heal is so real! I'm definitely journaling this week about what my inner child wishes she could hear. Thats a great prompt
Such a necessary topic to examine. Thank you for sharing this
💕💕
This is the real big sister channel we all needed ❤ Sending lots and lots of love and support for your work ❤
So grateful this popped up on my feed, everything resonated and was explained so eloquently 💕
💕💕
Jillz, I have so much appreciation and gratitude for this video and the topic of the mother-daughter relationship that you chose to discuss here. I have no words, I only wish more and more women watch this video! IT'S SO IMPORTANT for us as women to be aware of this connection we share with our mothers because it can affect our relationship to life itself and since our mothers are the source of our lives it's vital for our happiness to bring the light of awareness here, on this relationship. The mother is the source of how safe we feel in the world and, I suspect, of our willingness to receive and if we have a broken connection with our mothers, our own ability and desire to receive can be impacted. Thank you for making this video, greetings from Bulgaria!
I can relate to everything you say, its spot on. My mother left our family for an alcoholic when I was 8 and myself and my younger sisters didnt see her again until we were adults. It wasn't until I found your channel that I realised how much this has affected my feminine energy and how much I lived in masculine, I guess from being raised by an emotionally unavailable (but great) dad. It is so true about trauma passing through generations and I see now that both of my parents were passing down their own childhood traumas. Self development is helping me hugely to not repeat history and my relationship with my own children, especially my daughter has greatly helped me to heal and determined to be the best mum I can to them. This isnt always easy as an introverted empath working on low self esteem and triggers. Thanks for this lovely validating and supportive video. As a mature psychology student I love the research references too! Keep up the amazing work and glad you are feeling better. Much love from the UK 💙
It's so amazing that you're working on this not just for yourself, but future generations. So beautiful ❤️
@@JillzGuerin thank you for inspiring me 💖
Thank you so much for this video! From long as I remember myself, my mother used to beat me for every small mistake(she's very short-tempered and irritable, perfectionist). I remember the day other kids in class told me nobody is physically abusing them and I was thinking their parents were wrong for not properly raising them 💀 When I was anorexic, she told me nobody will ever love me and these words stick with me even today. The only thing I regret is that I was actively taking my rage and pain on my little brother who had special treatment from her. I was so ruthless and jealous of him, I would slap him just the way I was. Now,that I'm 21, I asked forgiveness from him and I truly regret doing that.
For most people Mommy wounds are often from Narcissistic Mothers and Daddy issues are caused by Narc Fathers. Unfortunately, some people have both, I certainly do.
You said just the right thing, thank you so much!
I can relate so much to that craving to be a little girl again, to not have any responsibilities this time round. I am the eldest of three siblings, an immigrant, and have a sister who is physically disabled. Since I can remember my parents have relied on me to do their paperwork, help my sister with school work, sometimes at the expense of my own needs. I envy my female friends who are so much more carefree and positive about life and have a more youthful vibe.
Im 15. My mom has been in and out but constantly on drugs. I had to learn that my mom went through a very rough childhood. She started meth at 14. She just pushed trauma on to me. And she has said very hurtful things. I like this comment section makes me feel safe. Some people really know how it feels.
Sending you lots of love ❤️
What helps me to cope is to see my mother as that hurt child. She doesn't know any better because she had a crappy childhood herself. She doesn't know how to nurture properly, because she hasn't been nurtured
Every single toxic trait you mentioned in this video I experienced, plus more.
My mom used to purposely give me food that went bad 😞 I got sick so many times from her doing that to me but then she would yell at me for days about it if I did get sick. She would make me go to school like that and told me I'd better not go to the nurse's office because she wasn't going to pick me up. She told me that I was wasting the food 😢 ..by getting sick 😞
A teacher wanted to send me to the nurse's office once before because I was so sick but I started shaking and told her I couldn't go but I could never bring myself to explain the reason why.. so they assumed that I had anxiety over going to the nurse, so they sent a classmate with me in the kid and the nurse kept coddling me because they thought I was afraid of the nurse 🤦🏻♀️
Thank you for this insightful video. This is such an important topic to talk about.
I love my mom (She’s the reason why I want to keep improving myself and she believed in me when no one else in my family did) but being a first generation Cuban-American on both sides, my mom was very stern, always speaks her mind, and a perfectionist (That need to be perfect she passed down to me and my sisters; With my oldest sister in her, it manifested severe body image issues and anxiety/depression; In me, it manifested into this constant need to prove myself). Also, being the youngest my mom (even now at barely 31 years old) is over protective and it makes me feel sometimes that I’m not good enough with just being me.
I think you can really change my life. It hurts so much recognizing that I might haven‘t had the mother I longed for. I think not only my relationship to my dad was toxic but also to my mother. And it hurts me that I have to distance myself foe healing…
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Beyond thankful to have found this channel! I always leave feeling understood and with great book recommendations!!! Thank you for your valuable work❤ I’m slowly replacing reality tv with your videos and I couldn’t be any happier
Thank you so much
You are right as I am I don't have a good mother daughter relationship, everything you mention is what's really happening to me till now
I love attention,I love to be pampered, but my mom is not a romantic type
Your channel has been a gift to find! Thanks for this one Jillz ❤️
I’m so appreciative. Thank you ❤
This video really nailed it. I cried a lot and so much made sense to me. Thank you for giving me some clarity
Perfect Timing!! Thank you soo soo much for bringing clarity and healing ❤😊🌷
❤️❤️
The past week I asked my mother to stop commenting on my physical body because the past 24 years it has been a main topic of conversation and I am over it. She responded with “how dare you blame me because you are upset with me” “I only comment on your body because I am proud” “I can never say anything to you” “you have hurt me so much, don’t not text me”. If I cannot have a mature conversation with a harmless request and get met with accusations of attacking her, I’m sure we will never get to the relationship I want to be with her. It’s sad.
Loved this, thanks Jillz 💖✨
You're so welcome! ❤️
I have a complicated relationship with my mother. Can’t love her, but can’t hate her without guilt. Definitely yearn for a type of relationship that will never be
I know that my mom would die for me... but from a very deep part of myself, I feel like I have never ever needed her even when I was a baby. There is literally no emotional connection between us. She never hugged me. Now at the age of 20, she wants to cuddle me and say all the beautiful words but they do not mean anything to me. I literally feel like a wall but with a too much guilt.I do not know what to do. I also grew up without a father that there is literally very little compassion towards myself. I do not know what love is. But I need it so badly that I obsess over man, I feel like all my problems are gonna be solved when I was liked by a boy unconditionally.
Yes effectively I have at least one mother-wound and the worst one that she tarnished my father’s reputation because she used to say to me and my sisters when we were kids that he cheated on her without any proves and he was her wounds’s source and so we hated our father for long time and didn’t consider him as he deserves but today we have understood that she was depressive may god forgive her , despite all this I still love and respect and support her and have empathy and consider her acts as lack of awareness I hope I won’t hurt my daughters from any side or cause to them any emotional wounds or trauma
Happy Mother's Day 💕💕
Thank you so much for this video ❤️ definitely needed to hear this
❤️❤️❤️
I love this dress I definitely have mother issues that make me the person I am today
Emotional attunement:
Understand and validate
Criticism
You deserve more than thank you
I loved this video. I love your content ❤
Thanks for this video, Jillz! This was very helpful. I've been working on my mother wound for a while and it's definitely better, but I have lots more work to do.
Sending you some love ❤️❤️
@@JillzGuerin thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️
I've been thinking a lot about this topic today and am trying to figure out how to move forward. My major issue I've been working on is codependency. My mom was majorly codependent with her mom and when her mom passed on, she transferred that codependency onto my dad and me. I've been working on my codependency for years and it's so much better now. There are still lingering issues with my mom, one of them being she constantly complains to me about my dad. (they are married). She has built up resentment for years and criticizes him regularly in front me, to me when he is not around.
I've tried setting a boundary by asking that we don't talk in a negative way about my dad when he is not around. She agreed. Yet she can't do it. She may be looking for some mothering from me here as residual codependency from her mom. I can't mother my mom on her issues with my dad.
Do you have any tips on how to handle this situation?
It might be helpful to remind her in those moments when she's doing it! Sometimes emotions get the best of us ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing such an important topic ❤️🙏
💕💕💕
You are such a smart woman Jillz!
This vedio is so very helpful thank you for putting it out.
my mom is an incredible woman she always took care of us and suffered from my dad's bad traits I don't know why i have a very bad relationship with her and I am totally convinced that i am the one that is toxic and not good enough for our relationship, she always says that i have my dad's bad traits i don't see it much but i think she s right because i am bad at showing my love for her and i am always wrong at choosing the words to tell her and i end up with bad end at every conversation because i didn't gave her the support that she needs and she think that i am in my dad's side whitch is no true but i am always failing at showing that enaugh or i show or did something to look like i am not woth her and i don't support her .AND i feel that the more we're away from each other the more i don't cause her disappointment or heartbreak the more i am near the more our relationship get worse and worse
My mother was not loving, warm or kind. When she was over 90 years of age she admitted to me that she neglected me. It was a good thing for her to say, but it came so late, that it really didn't make any difference to me.
Well damn. This video hits. Love your content Jillz 🥰
Thank you!! I knew this video wouldn’t resonate with everyone, but for the ones that it did it would be really helpful 💕
Such a powerful video, thank you for sharing this message ❤️
You’re so welcome 💕💕
😦 😧 wow… the way i needed this today. thank you so SO much! this hit the nail on the head over and over. i’m currently dealing with the wounds now and struggling getting over resentment. spoke to me. I appreciate this today especially since over on Instagram a lot of posting with what seems to be healthy mom-daughter relationship
. I do understand that she meant the best and loves me and didn’t show it in the best way because of her upbringing. It still sucks, but I. an only work through it to get over this hump. it’s been about of year of some work and will probably take a few more. i did call her at least today to say happy mother’s day! This made me feel lighter and better thank you so much Jillz, you are the best! 💕🤍💕
So glad this video helped you ❤️❤️
Thank you for this! Your video really helped me.
Ahh that you have got to be perfect for you to be loved.
thank u so much i didn't know i really needed this
❤️❤️❤️
what an awesome video! I used the same monkey experiment to illustrate an entirely different point, i love the diversity of thought that we can have even within the same niche. really wonderful video ❤
So funny, love that!! Thank you! ❤️❤️
However, I am of the opinion that in the case of problems with the mother, it is not enough to write in a diary or analyze it on your own. You have to go to psychotherapy, otherwise we only treat the shell, not the underlying cause. I say this from experience and I immediately emphasize that it helped ... but not so that the mother became a friend. It helped because I feel valuable and I do not count on the transformation of the relationship.
amazing comment!
Eye opening. Do you have any books on this subject to suggest? Thank you!
if you were born between June 21, 1988 and July 21, 1991 you have chiron in cancer, and this is especially relevant. Pluto was also trine chiron which is an "easy flowing" archetype between the "emotional security oriented scorpio" archetype, "wounding from chiron" archetype, "fear and power dynamics" archetype from pluto and "your family, especially Mother" archetype from cancer.
This is written into our lifestories so that we can overcome this and impact the world in a specific way. It might not be your mom, maybe its an absent dad, maybe its an abusive dynamic. Something wasn't right, something was very wrong. None of our generational neighbors has this but in 1937 there was something similar, Pluto in Cancer, Chiron in Cancer. Similar archetypes came up around 1947 and 1996.
this was very helpful. thank you
Thank you for this.
Mother wounds from overly critical mom in fear i would brcome better than her and never need her. I now understand she fears me becoming powerful or rich bc i would not need her anymore and she says if i think i will make it on my own and not include her i will fail. She wants to keep me close to her all her life but she will not.Not anymore. she will retire alone and old. Also lack of human touch has caused me anxiety to a high dregee
Wow, I needed this video! ❤
My mom was very warm and kind until I was 16. Then everything changed because she became avoidant. It's bad
Thanks Jillz needed to hear that
❤️❤️