As much as i want to visit Japan, I'm glad i wasn't born in Japan. There seems to be so many rules just to fit in the society. I'd never be able to fake laugh or respond properly to people everytime they ask a question, especially when I'm pissed.
@Xyz Abc well, ok. But, i don't think the two points that i mentioned are applicable all around the world. People these days are more open and appreciate honestly or no reaction over fakeness.
@@justsomeonewhosseentoomuch1401 I agree with you completely. Like, I don't identify as a stoic but I practice stoicism wherein basically it teaches you to focus on the things within your control rather than what's outside of your control. Although our actions are our own responsibility, if we've done out part and certain people still don't like us even though we've done nothing wrong then that's not our problem anymore. Generally speaking, I believe that how people feel about you reflects more about them. Emphasize on the "generally speaking" ok cuz i also understand that there are exceptions but yeah hopefully you get what i mean
@@justsomeonewhosseentoomuch1401 nah in times like this where people are more alone than ever, I don't think that's the case. They say they prefer more honesty but most actually don't. They prefer it when it's behind a screen
I’m Japanese but spent lots of time outside of Japan when I grew up. I found that Japanese guys, well I can say Asian guys generally, didn’t take my jokes when we dated. I said “Yes I know I’m pretty” in a cheerful way when they told me I’m pretty. But their reaction was like..” wow, this girl is over confident…better avoid her” and became so silent...I don’t think I’m ugly but I wasn’t serious neither. After that, I learned how to fake humbleness to impress them. On the other hand, western guys tend to take the confidence as sexy, funny and beautiful. I want to laugh from my bottom of my heart anywhere and don’t want to be so humble and cute always to impress Japanese guys. So I’m not popular to them lol
@@frogiedancer Yea. Forcing ourself to fit the mold can be energy draining, and damaging. Also, it doesn't mean they guy won't cheat, gaslight or abuse, no matter how perfectly you fit his ideals. I'm a living example for that.
I don’t really think you should “fake being humble“… It definitely doesn’t seem you are a humble person, and maybe even a little cocky, which can definitely be a turn off to anyone anywhere around the world. Cockiness versus confidence is very different. One should be humble
@@VictoriaLehr i agree I'm from the "west" and I still would've been off put by that "i know I'm pretty" comment. It's like a guy saying he's packing it might be a joke but in context a simple compliment back even if uninterested. They're universally well received by both sexes as well. Edit: I also feel that Japanese ingeneral have to meet a higher degree of modesty not just females. And tbh they value more traditional values then here nowadays. Well at least enough that i ain't ever heard about abortion in japan.... so the relationships are more valued instead of being seen as recyclable.
So basically be well mannered, take care of your appearance and don't be an a-hole to people? Sound about right. Though I may be failing the always polished look and the always polite talk when I'm pissed off.
@@ViviThegreat How about you first learn how to pay your own bills, Zhongli? Last time I checked, you were doing 0 work and we're 100% wasting Wangsheng funeral parlor's funds. Poor Hu Tao. And poor Childe.
6:47 i disagree with this one.....I'm a person who naturally doesn't smile much. That doesn't mean I have bad personality or attitude. The notion that girls should always smile is sooooo wrong and not only in Japan but in the whole world.
that's why the common plot in shoujo manga is when a girl smiles/laughs with the boy, he will fall for her like he was just hit by a Cupid arrow lol. And those who are popular among the boys are always the cute and cheerful type of girls. I couldn't understand why that thing appears in so many shoujo mangas until I watched this video
I know this girl. When she’s by herself she doesn’t smile, but as soon as you give her a reason to she’s got one of the sweetest smiles I’ve ever seen. Sad that she only behaved like that around people she was close to
6:58 this is interesting because I personally can’t stand people who fake laugh. I would hate it if someone fake laughs to my jokes without telling me frankly that my jokes suck and aren’t even funny.
Exactly. If a person is just faking their laugh I would not feel good abt it. It's like either they are purpusfully kinda teasing me or are just trying to get attention.
This is new to me, fake laugh is always the way to go to be polite and appreciate someone who made the joke even if it's not that funny or you don't really understand the joke. I guess this is just a difference in culture.
@@davin4811 only if they will think you're not fake laughing. Hahaha but I get what you mean. (my "hahaha" is genuine btw, although you won't realy know that.) 😅
The fact that you always have to care about your appearance is so stressfull... i have a very hard time managing my hair since they are wavy so they look messy most of the time TT I dont understand how most japanese girls always look put together when they go especially to school (?) Im just tired and probably depressed i cant take care of my hair every morning
Same here. When I leave the house my hair is most likely still wet from washing and it gets strange curls on my way to the office. I once had a hairbrush in my car ... but it vanished ... 😅🤷🏼
@@killuazoldyck_ii yes of course as every other country there are cool aspects about Japan, however, I wouldn’t have guessed that they were so focused on appearance. I mean, the US and South Korea are also very centered on appearance, it sucks, it really brings people’s mental health down to focus on stuff like this, but at the same time I also bet that Japanese people aren’t the best when it comes to mental health neither so... It’s not really a surprise if you think about it 🤔
@@amdiary7 yes!! i have a few Japanese friends and i was kinda shocked to know how little they know about mental health.. even just terminologies we use have a different meaning to them. one example would be if i describe someone as a narcissist, that’s pretty bad right? that’d mean that person is extremely self-centered, putting others down bc of their inflated sense of ego. but voila, my friend from Japan said they don’t know that at all. instead, they think being a narcissist is good bc that just means you’re confident 🥴 but then again, they don’t like confident ppl that much as stated in the video, and would rather have you say いえいえ！(no, no, not at all) to compliments 🤷🏻♀️ they have soo many social rules it’s pretty restraining lol
It was interesting to hear that if a guy sneakily pays the bill the will try to repay the favor my paying the bill later. That is very good manners and probably something more people everywhere could take note on. I understand the cleanliness one. Must take care of yourself. Thank you for the video.
People who cares about pay a bill issue so much means they are not really ready to effort all. Maybe if interview on more adult person this kind of things won't came up as a issue.
Im touched when someone tries to pay for me but i will still fight a little over who should pay. But if they really really want to pay then I'll let them. Besides, if someone tries to sneakily repay me for something i payed for, Im sorry but I will take offense.
6:20 people need to keep in mind that others may have social anxiety. just because someone shakes there head yes or no doesn’t make you disrespectful especially if that person has severe social anxiety like i do. they should be grateful they even got some type of response. the people are overall being way too judgmental. same with 7:01 not everyone has the same sense of humor so why should we feel forced to laugh at something we don’t think is humorous. Edit: thanks for all the likes :) i’m glad so many people agree with me on this. ignore the hate, there’s no point in replying to bots. hope you all are having an amazing day.
Yes, this. Especially people who suffers on anxieties or even depression, society like this can be really harmful. People need to try at least be a bit more understanding rather than judging.
Well, I think you could tell on whether someone being anxious or just straight up rude But to be honest, the question was would that make people unpopular, and the fact is yes. Is it bad? Not always. Is it justified? Sometimes yes (just like you say), but not answering properly does leave no room for further chitchat, and to be popular usually you'd be quite friendly with people
that's funny because i feel like people with social anxiety would feel anxious if someone didn't bother to respond to them. and i get people have anxiety and should be more understanding but it's taking it too far that you expect people to be "grateful they even got some type of response." sounds kinda entitled/conceited
can we appreciate how good Cathy Cat interviewed these people on the current topic she's like having a fun-exciting conversation with her close friends!
The problem with this concept of how a girl or anyone should be to be popular is so toxic. Like imagine if everyone started looking, behaving the same how would be have different kinds of people. Yes few things should be considered like not talking rude, having a bad attitude or leaving rice behind but others are just society trying to fit everyone in the box.
While talking behind someone's back is sth that I hate too, I prefer people that are honest and upfront, give real reactions, even if that may be rude sometimes. I like people I can be myself around n so I need for them to be that as well. Otherwise what's the point of having friends, a partner?? Being fake is for business or acquaintances.
Yesss that is how Asian societies are. Especially Japanese society is particularly problematic. Many young kids are bullied and take their own lives at a much higher rate than American children.
Some people not even wanna be popular, but they turn out as a very popular person because they are always be themselves without trying hard to be, that's bring out a real chsrisma. And the big point is all interviewees still quite young.
5:24 that happened to me once when I was with a big group but because I was so stressed about catching the right train back to my town ( I was working at a foreign country) I completely forgot to pay & felt so bad afterwards 😭😭🤦🏻♀️
9:32 I can understand wanting to clear your plate and that being good manners, that's how I was raised. But, sometimes rice is filling! Interesting topic and perspectives as always
Men all around the world love it when women are perfect angels who self sacrifice and cater to them. The concept that we’re human beings never crosses their mind. 🫢
What if that person is literally just being comfortable around you by not having to style her hair in a particular manner and dress moderately ? A genuine question.
To answer ur question. I think it’s more of a consideration thing. In japan there’re things called 気配り& 心配り. Which roughly means putting your thoughts and putting your emotions into something. It is very common for acquaintances and friends that are comfortable w each other to still put effort into themselves no matter the situation. It is very much a world where it is normal to consider other people beforehand. Which explains the other things such as making sure to not leave any food behind no matter what in consideration for the effort that went into making it, and the issue about some people not making and effort to at least looking like you were going to pay as well. It is very much a “it’s the thought that counts” situation. obviously no one is going to feel disrespected by you being comfortable. It’s more like showing you appreciate the person you are with atm by putting some time and thought on your appearance
It was funny that they talked about that because it made me remember a show on Japanese TV where an idol group were receiving a guest every week and talking about random things. They started discussing about women, and they had this set-up: "Late in the evening, a woman in simple overalls or maybe even pajamas, with unkempt hair, wich just her wallet is alone at the konbini to buy something. One of the idols statred that he hated women like that the one in the set up, he felt like it was bad taste, too intimate, and if a woman was to go out she should be careful about her style. But another idol and their guest star (both men) actually stated they LOVED it. They loved how comfortable and chill a woman in that scenario would look, it gave them a sense of proximity to them, as if they were easily approachable, as if it'd be easier to talk to them compared to women who are fully styled (hair + make-up + dressed up) which can seem a bit too unreachable. In the scenario though, they said it made their heart "flutters" to see women dressed like that. So, really, it depends on the people ! Lots of people enjoy the more "natural" style people can have, just like some others really enjoy people who put a lot of effort in their style. We should never assume everybody is the same, even in more "homogenous" societies :)
I guess I just have to appear rude when I don’t finish my food then 😅 I can’t force myself past my limit otherwise I start gagging. Even sometimes I just get bored of the taste and can’t handle any more even with water. But even with the smallest sizes in restaurants I get full very often so a lot of the time I just give the leftover to my husband. You never really know what people are going though with food mentally, or feeling physically so it’s best to not try and force people to eat everything, or on the opposite side tell them to eat less because you feel they’re eating a lot. Just focus on your own plate.
So ig Japanese people would consider me unattractive for my curly hair lmao. Also the thing with the rice and that you have to take care of your appearance in order to look "cute" stresses me out. Lastly, I want to point out that some people might be anxious and won't talk to you/greet you & not everyone has to laugh to be considered "not boring". Those standards are very toxic.
then i guess its fine to stay where you are. I mean these are Japanese people living in japan in a Japanese society. Unless you live there it doesnt really seem like an issue.
Different cultural standards is all it is. For native Japanese, the constant routine of greeting and aisatsu, being humble and polite and reading the room and social situation is all ingrained into them from a young age to be humble and respectful and to pay close attention to meticulous details such as these. I'm not saying it's right or wrong; some practices I can agree with and others I don't, but it really is just cultural differences is all. What may be considered "toxic" to you, is just normal everyday politeness to them.
It's their preference. If you don't fit to it look for someone who likes you the way you are... don't call a whole culture toxic, just 'cause it doesn't fit your liking
Im Japanese but I agree. Im maybe not really friendly in front of ppl arent my friends&my appearance isnt really good bc I dont hav a enough time to make up. But I always make some friends never judge a book by its cover and being together with them is so comfortable. ppl like them are amazing&good friends always.
Can you do a video on what Japanese people think of foreigners with strong personalities? And would they date a person with a strong personality especially since in Japan it’s frowned upon edit: Not just plain rude people but people who will stick up for others voice there opinion, not a pushover or maybe just more extroverted
I second the question that Pedro Yuuhi posted above - define "strong personality". The spectrum can range from what Pedro cited (which is not "strong", but usually is a sign of weakness since that's usually a defensive reaction of an insecure person trying to throw a smokescreen to act "strong") all the way to simply knowing basic things of how to say "no", not being a pushover and/or being confident and have a thick skin. The list of examples does not end here btw, so yeah - which is it?
@@pedroyuuhi I get the same vibe when a girl says something like "you can't handle a girl like me!" and really it's just because she an awful human being
@@pedroyuuhi your right I didn’t really specify so as you can see I edited my comment but girls who aren’t mean but are more loud stick up for themselves or voice there opinion more
@@pedroyuuhi yup. It depends on the definition. If it's the hard to get kind of girl then that's a red light in most cases. But if it's type of being headstrong yet with a good personality then it's actually rare. Because sometimes the temperament affects the personality of a person which will in turn affect their reactions. Someone who has the temperament of being stoic would hardly have a cheerful or gloomy personality for example. Or serious temperaments can never have joking personalities.
Japan definitely seems like my cup of tea, whenever i am invited out or getting together to eat, i am always beyond grateful for the food and devour everything. However, in america I’ve experienced my friends and their siblings being very bratty and picky with the food and insult what ever they don’t like and it always makes me uncomfortable.
I love your style! And believe it or not, i watched this with my daughter. She was so curious about what you were talking about, and we ended up having a talk about what is considered good manner in our country: what was expected, what were the boundaries for us, etc. So! I'm thankful that your content helped us (super helpful because she's 5 and she ADORES you, she called you a pretty princess 👏🏼)
I don't agree with the point that girls can't go out with only ponytail and not wearing stylish outfits stuffs. Other than that, I agree with everything they said 👌
This would be more appropriate for a video about "what foreigners find difficult about dating/communicating with Japanese people?", not the other way around.
The paying the bill thing gets me because 99% of the time when I realized the bill was already paid. I didn’t even get the chance to offer paying. Besides, if you have different financial situations that should be taken in consideration too. Not everyone has a full time job 👀 if the person wants to split or pay full everything, that should be talked in advance to actually consider which restaurant to go. People have different budgets.
Lol at "rice corn". That happens when you know so much English that not being able to think of the correct word actually becomes a problem. ps "rice grain"
@@Soozely666 mmmm that is interesting. I do wonder since in English we refer to whole grains of pepper as pepper corns which historically goes back before the discovery of the americas and maize(corn)..... English is a germanic language and what we refer to as corn(maize) today is from the "new world" so maybe etymologically she is right and anglo saxon/germanic meaning of corn was originally closely linked to grain.
Easy enough to discuss how to go about paying before going out somewhere. The idea of it almost being a "gotcha" aspect of a date seems off to me. Caring about another's independence and thoughts when doing something together is a matter of respect. If something as simple as paying a bill can be a point of contention, oo-boy someone may be a control freak in the relationship.
It makes no sense that almost everything mentioned in the video was explicitly aimed at women, like all those examples are not affiliated with an overall decent person in general. Like going out messy, having no manners, leaving some rice, wearing strong fragrance and more. Yea i get that objectively some of the examples may occur more often with women (like the parfume) but it makes it all sound as if would'nt be have of a big deal if the genders were switched honestly. Not sure if that is actually the case or if they addressed these examples to anyone at mind
Most of these make sense. I dont really agree with the rice thing though lol. I would never want someone to force themselves to eat and then feel sick? That's just weird to me. Like I understand ordering too much food and then wasting it is a big no-no. But not being able to finish the rice if you finished everything else? Lol That just nit-picky to me and kinda rude in reverse to want someone to overeat. **adding an edit as to all the replies are very insightful** My family is mixed race Korean/White. My mom never made me continue eating if I was too full and going to get sick. She would usually take it away for later. I currently live in Japan and can understand the not wasting food more with restaurants here because they don't allow take out in 90% of cases. Take out became a thing recently with covid though. Generally I'd say just pick what you know you can eat. Lol
It's a poor person mentality. Japan is a very poor agricultural country and in their history, sometimes they have no rice to eat at all, so even during a bountiful harvest, they're told not to waste rice. If they have rice, then can live and not starve, and that kind of mentality has become a traditional view. Most asian countries are like that. When I was little, I used not to finish my rice because I was full and my dad would finish it for me because not everyone can eat in our country and to waste was a disrespect to them. Now, I only put in my plate exactly what I'm confident I can eat. If I'm still hungry, I would go for seconds. It can also help your finances to be mindful about things like that.
It's a common tradition in Asian countries Before, the agricultural techniques were not that developed so farmers have to struggle really hard to plant rice which grows best in muddy/really wet soil So in my country, children are taught not to leave the rice without eating it all to honor the hard work of those farmers
Where I grow up, they prefer you to finish the dishes instead of the rice, cus the dishes cost more lol. But it comes back to not be too greedy in the first round. I can always ask for seconds. Or I will order a tiny portion. That's how I was taught.
I understand. I suffer from poor digestion. If I eat too much, I can get really sick, so I could never eat too much. Most of the times, I just get what I can eat. But sometimes if I eat out and have no control of the amount served, I'll just leave it at that.
I've heard other Japanese people address this in other videos, but the view abt forcing yourself to finish rice featured here is pretty extreme. I've heard if you got full and your rice is only half finished, that's fine, but if you finished everything but left behind rice grains on the sides of the bowl, that's what is more often seen as a pet peeve, bc of laziness. but like the others said, wastefulness is still very frowned upon, albeit manifesting in unhealthy ways here
Try to Keep in Mind: In general when it comes to these videos. These are a few people with their POV. A POV that stems from how they were raised &what they personally choose to accept. Their answers do not speak for all of the people in the land. Perhaps a good percentage but not all.
I'm sorry I'm that kind of person who notices small reactions most of the time. the guy in checkered seemed surprised when his friend said thing about tinder. AHHAHAH!
It's funny how the "pay the bill" thing is such a thing in Japan as well. It's not just for people on dates, it's expected between men too. As an example, if a parent is treating another person, especially if it's a person who is just a friend to the family, they should show respect and offer to pay their own way. Often the parent might dismiss it and cover the bill, but you should still be offering. Or say, if your with your boss, or anything like that. It's more clear that guys should offer to pay their own way, especially with other men... Cause it's not a date. But even on dates, it seems important for the other person to show some courtesy by offering to pay. In the United States it's also a whole thing too... There's a whole class of women that just expect the men to pay for everything, and it's a huge thing, because then there's a lot of women that think it's a trashy thing to do to men. Especially since here, women are trying to get equal treatment. At the same time, men are getting insulted for wanting to split bills, or not offering to pay for the other person... It's just amusing that Japan has that similarity there.
In France, it's the other way around for the food. It's polite to leave a bit of food in your plate. If you don't, it is as though you're telling your host "you didn't give me enough food, I'm starving"
Depuis quand ?! Ça me dit rien du tout, au contraire à chaque fois que je vais au resto et que l’assiette est vide y a toujours quelqu’un d’extraverti pour dire que c’était délicieux (en riant)
@@corsair1 je me permet de te demander, de quelle classe sociale tu parlais dans ton premier commentaire ?(Je suis de classe moyenne bien que mes parents soient assez opposés à ce niveau là (mère fille de fermier et mon père fils de professeurs))
@@fjebdbdjzndjd5026 Moi je viens d'une classe sociale entre moyenne et aisée. Mais ce genre de règles je les ai apprises en côtoyant des familles d'anciens nobles, il y a un tas de règles à respecter, et ça en faisait partie. Comme je l'ai dit ça dépend sûrement de l'endroit et de la communauté
I don't like the fact that they don't approve of 'treating people unequally' it's like you have to be nice and kind to everyone and always smile to them even if you don't like them? That's straight up hypocrisy and I hate hypocrite people. And I myself can't act to save my life so even if I tried to seem nice to someone I don't like I would miserably fail. In my opinion you should be honest to expect honesty it is very problematic to ask someone to hide their true self/intention/feelings (imo)
Have you heard of the phrases: "Don't stoop to their level." or "turn the other cheek."? When you're dealing with someone you're not keen on, "being the bigger person" is oftenly a better response than petty, stubborn prejudice.
Well I respect the Japanese people & thier pov; but this is just too much. The work culture is already akin to a pressure cooker, they can do without so much of overthinking & over analysing.
It's not that much pressure, at least what they mentioned in the video. I think having a good hygiene, dressing smartly, treating everyone equally (smiling and laughing), being polite to everyone, splitting the bill are basic manners in general not just Japan.
@@23rdpresidentoftheunitedstates That's just a small part! Their language also plays a part in pressure cooker like situation. Unless you have lived in Japan or worked for a Japanese company in Japan you won't get the drift.
My notes- Basic Standards/Musts: .Being courteous and polite (giving basic curtasy to everyone) .Accountability + Responsibility (paying for food + drinks, etc) .Being consistent in how you treat people .Being humble .Put obvious energy into socializing- answer questions properly. .Don't over use "foul" langauge. Bonases/Preferences: .Knows how to laugh and smile openly- relaxed and happy temperament .Social tact .Styled hair and complementary clothes (+ sense of style) .Cleanliness .Not leaving a lot of left overs- not getting more food then you can handle .Being cute Sounds do-able to me. I'm keeping in mind this is about being "popular", not about *if* you'll be like or not. Popularity is an unimportant side option to me. I just want to meet the basic standards and be myself so I can find someone who loves me for me. Thanks for the video. 👍✨
It's so funny😂 I'm studying Japanese and the words that I understand seem to be at max volume so I pick them up quite easily meanwhile the words I've never heard before are simply mute😂 not sure if that makes sense
Honestly expected worse ans these r OK except the first 1 tho it is imp to take care of hygien when u go out people struggling with mental health often have a hard time doing that so I'd advise not to judge or be too hard on them instead help them nicely. The food one = if u cannot eat it don't force yourself Social anxiety = there r some people who are not able to talk in public properly / to servers such as saying ty for the food. This is something I personally struggle with I've tried so hard to get words out but sometimes anxiety takes over so don't be too hard on urself if u cannot speak in public properly. Once a guy had given up his seat for me & I managed to get a thank you out but my voice was too Low 😭
the hair thing made me upset lol I don't think that not combing your hair necessarily says something about yourself 🤔 I go out like that a lot because its just more comfortable and sometimes you just don't have time. If you are just going to the grocery story why bother 😅
I don't know why i care. Id like to one day go to see their historical architecture and cultural foods, but i don't believe its realistic that id ever actually visit japan because theres so much going on that i don't have time or money to travel.
Once I went on a date with a Japanese guy, we went to eat curry rice for dinner. He made me eat every bit of little rice and clean the plate even tho I was so freaking full. It was first and last date. He ignored after first date lol.
An amusing interview and I would agree with most of them. But overall just be yourself and be polite to people, at least try to. If you're socially awkward or is really extremely shy so you end up fucking up like not answering or giving off the "idgaf" attitude without intention, then I believe you need to move on and try not to be rude... Okay that kinda seemed harsh, but I meant that don't pay no mind to people that might instantly assume you're an asshole cuz they don't know what you're struggling of. Unless you apologise and give them an explanation, but I believe that's too excessive especially if its people you just met etc... I hope it makes sense. Though I understand why some people might find those type of people rude, but they must be understanding. Anyhow just do you and don't try to fit everyone's expectations.
As Italian boy, I will be offended if the girl pays her own part. The moment I fell in love with my wife, even before we got together, I always pretended to pay for both of us. I would have paid even if she had refused my courtship.
@@kipp3384 Why should she be offended? Gender equality? There are other ways to show that I consider her to be on an equal footing! It is about gallantry.
@@Josh729J I think he was trying to say something different. In Italian “pretendere” means something like “to be very insistent on something” and “pretend” sounds very similar to “pretendere” so he might have thought they meant the same thing.
Personally, these things jus make me feel idk less interested in guys in Japan as ik not everyone has the same taste but I feel like for example,not finishigin your rice.jus cause it's your belief doesn't mean every girl shld follow it. And for example,shaking your head is rude,it's a basic thing I mean,no one judges u just for that.
I am curious about the payment issue. It was not covered but does it make a difference if they are in a committed relations as in this is my boyfriend/girlfriend and they are exclusive or if they are just dating as casual friends. It is strange having been brought up that if you ask a girl out on a date, you cover it. IT is almost as though if they say they will get it or half of it, it is not a committed relationship in the West or you know this is not going to go anywhere intimately. In the West it is almost as though she is saying Thanks for dinner but I'll get my half and you can lose my number. Weird dance in Japan vs the West. You've had other interviews where the girls say they want their boyfriends or dates to act like Western men with opening car doors for them, door at stores or restaurants etc, hold their chairs for them as they are seated, on dates and even paying for meals. THEN at the same time we hear not covering their half is rude and unpopular. Somewhat confusing.
It seemed like it was a bit less about the girl needing to pay half every time, and more about the offer. Like the guy said, he doesn't mind paying for a meal himself, but it's good manners for the girl to at least take out her wallet and offer to pay instead of assuming that the guy will. That being said, the girls also do like it when the guy shows 'chivalry' and opens the doors, pays for the meal, etc. They appreciate that kind of thing and maybe even expect it, but feel it would be rude for them not to offer and, at least some of the time, pay for their share of the food/date activity. The extent to which that is the case is of course going to vary from person to person, which is perhaps part of why you're seeing a contradiction. What you pointed out regarding the Japan vs. the West is very interesting though
I've never been on a date in my life, but I couldn't imagine splitting the check being an indicator of non-interest in a second date. I would find it practical since it saves money for both parties. And I wouldn't have to feel bad about someone spending so much on me if the place wasn't cheap. And then if the date didn't go well, neither person would feel like they wasted money on someone they didn't like lol.
So even if it took me hours to style my natural curly hair, guys will think I'm unclean??? That seems kinda unfair. All my friends have straight hair, and some of them just take 5 minutes combing it and it looks perfectly straight. Meanwhile, it'll take me an hour to do my hair routine, and I'm called messy... :c
People seem to always respond to these types of videos with Wow Japan is so strict! but you have to remember that she's asking them for their opinions and this is a collection of that. Since people have different opinions you're going to get lots of different things, that makes it seem like there's lots of "rules", really there's just a few main things here (keep up with hygiene/grooming, don't badmouth people, and at least offer to split the bill--none of these things seem that unordinary). If you did the same thing in other countries asking what makes people unpopular I'm willing to bet you'd get similar results.
I hope you don't mind if I mention a translation error. At 9:02 it says "girls who leave rice corns..." That should be "rice grains" or "grains of rice." : )
I’m probably going to get flak for this, but the woman in orange always catches my eye. I can’t tell if it’s the style, her looks, or the way she speaks. Maybe it’s all three. She seems like she’s very cool.
So if wearing deodorant is not so strong will I be fine in those japanese style restraunts? I usually wear a lot of perfume but it seems like I won't be able to in Japan- I'm going there in 2 weeks and I'm super excited!! I have always want to go there since I was 7 right now I'm 11 years old and I will be going with my dad!!
You're 11 and wearing lots of perfume? Probably best to stick with deodorant. It's not just with restaurants, but in general overwhelming perfume is kinda frowned upon. But people probably won't care too much if you're a tourist
Maybe I'm interpreting this wrong, but I'll never understand how Japanese comprehend bad or foul language when it technically doesn't exist in their native tongue. I mean yes there's certain words to curse out like _"Kusa!"_ out of frustrating expression, but those words aren't bad words to begin with by comparison. It's even up to the point where certain Japanese Vtubers acknowledge American profanity and either laugh at it, try to hide the fact that they heard it, or some downright use it because they want to sound profane, like turning _"Fuck You"_ into _"FA-Q."_ Again, if those words don't necessarily exist in the Japanese language, so what's the big deal? I don't get it.
My understanding is that Japanese is very strict about formal and informal speech. You can appear to be rude if you use the wrong one, for example speaking informally to a boss, or even speaking formally to an employee. But I don't speak Japanese, so I hope that someone with a better understanding will comment.
Who is paying when you are dating is a tricky thing, there is no right and wrong. You need to look at what type of man you are going out with. If they are uni student or minimum wage salary man then expect to going dutch when you are dating. But when you are going out with well established men, specially if they are asking you to go out then don't bother to pay. Even showing a gesture that you want to pay will come out as offensive for them, some men are still enjoying the provider role and chivalrous. So be smart at reading the situation and the person you are going out with.
So many things to pretend and acts to fake just to be popular or be accepted.. no freedom to express yourself. This is why bullying is such a big issue in Japan.
Lol worrying about cleanliness yet I still haven't seen a single japanese person use soap to wash their hands. Most ignore the sink entirely or stick two fingernails vaguely near the water for half a second.
So basically they're just asking you to be polite. Sounds about right. The comment section is ridiculous. Just because you're having a bad day doesn't mean you get to be rude to others -.- its basic manners to smile and respond in a friendly manner when someone is talking to you, even if you're pissed off atm. That's not being fake. That's called being polite and well behaved. That's how we maintain a society. That's what makes us civilized. Tf is wrong with people?
Well i guess nobody would like me then if i be myself Must learn to fake my personality to fit in someone else’s standards but it seems absurd because the person you like isn’t even being original self , it’s just a made up personality, that’ll in the end cause harm to the society if everyone just pretends to be the cute and polite person at all times which is impossible for an ordinary human
I'm confused why so many ppl are interpreting what the ppl here said so extremely. I dont recall seeing any of them say that girls have to fake laugh or always be feminine. the girls just said that it's better to not be boring and know when to laugh. dont laugh out loud in spaces where a quiet demeanor is favored like a restaurant. that's not even something exclusive to japan that's just manners in general
The word "popular" is toxic in itself. Being popular means to stand out and be adored, which means you'd have to be the best of the best to the eyes of the targeted population that you want the positive attention from. Hence, I am unfazed by this video because it's nothing new. What I am surprised about though is that a couple of people in the comment section act like Japan is the only judgemental country when the rest of the world does the same. Standards exist, hierarchies exist, nepotism exists and etc everywhere which is very unfortunate
No, that's just your headcanon. Being popular simply means being liked by a majority of people. People can be popular for being nice, people can be popular for being smart, people can be popular for constantly helping others. This generation just loves tossing the word "toxic" around.
I have different personalities to different people as OBVIOUSLY its not like I like all human being HAHAHA. A person who's all kind and cute to all people is FAKE dude. wake up!
If I am in Japan, I will probably never go to restaurants date because I have no money 🙃. I still work to pay my bills but no money for date. Sayonara for relationships then 😶
No offence but the last 2 girls seemd a little shallow to me. I consider the way someone laughs should not be too important as long as it s genuine. The way someone dresses should not be to impress anyone. Rather you should dress simply to fit the setting and be comfortable with yourself. That to me was a very bad advice. You do not need to look flirty for guys to like you.
i just think it is an annoying standard that girls must be proper with their language and their appearance. Most of all, you can't really cuss in their language?! I didn't know that. Also, i feel like girls who give other pple different treatment should not be guaranteed a bad thing bc what if they particular person is rude to them so they give them a cold shoulder. That can give a lot of misunderstanding. The only thing i don't have a problem w is the bills. People should be able to offer or make up the food bills.. maybe just be honest that you don't have the money to pay and im sure w the RIGHT pple can understand that.
As much as i want to visit Japan, I'm glad i wasn't born in Japan. There seems to be so many rules just to fit in the society. I'd never be able to fake laugh or respond properly to people everytime they ask a question, especially when I'm pissed.
みんなあんまり気にしてないですよー
@Xyz Abc well, ok. But, i don't think the two points that i mentioned are applicable all around the world. People these days are more open and appreciate honestly or no reaction over fakeness.
@@justsomeonewhosseentoomuch1401 I agree with you completely. Like, I don't identify as a stoic but I practice stoicism wherein basically it teaches you to focus on the things within your control rather than what's outside of your control. Although our actions are our own responsibility, if we've done out part and certain people still don't like us even though we've done nothing wrong then that's not our problem anymore.
Generally speaking, I believe that how people feel about you reflects more about them.
Emphasize on the "generally speaking" ok cuz i also understand that there are exceptions but yeah hopefully you get what i mean
@@justsomeonewhosseentoomuch1401 nah in times like this where people are more alone than ever, I don't think that's the case. They say they prefer more honesty but most actually don't. They prefer it when it's behind a screen
You would have adapted and thought nothing of it.
It seems that you have to be the epitome of femininity to be popular, shy and cute, always smiling and pretty lol
Right , you can’t be too loud too just be a perfect doll
Sad😶💀
Yes, that’s why Japan is so uncomfortable to live for women… just my experience as a Japanese woman though
@@jayjay0013 living in japan and can confirm💀
That's a mindblowing concept, for a female to be feminine. That's just so weiiiiiiiird.
I’m Japanese but spent lots of time outside of Japan when I grew up. I found that Japanese guys, well I can say Asian guys generally, didn’t take my jokes when we dated. I said “Yes I know I’m pretty” in a cheerful way when they told me I’m pretty. But their reaction was like..” wow, this girl is over confident…better avoid her” and became so silent...I don’t think I’m ugly but I wasn’t serious neither. After that, I learned how to fake humbleness to impress them. On the other hand, western guys tend to take the confidence as sexy, funny and beautiful. I want to laugh from my bottom of my heart anywhere and don’t want to be so humble and cute always to impress Japanese guys. So I’m not popular to them lol
Just be who you are. Forcing yourself to follow society's expectation might make you popular, but if it's not from your heart you'll just be unhappy.
@@frogiedancer Yea. Forcing ourself to fit the mold can be energy draining, and damaging. Also, it doesn't mean they guy won't cheat, gaslight or abuse, no matter how perfectly you fit his ideals. I'm a living example for that.
I don’t really think you should “fake being humble“…
It definitely doesn’t seem you are a humble person, and maybe even a little cocky, which can definitely be a turn off to anyone anywhere around the world. Cockiness versus confidence is very different. One should be humble
@@VictoriaLehr i agree I'm from the "west" and I still would've been off put by that "i know I'm pretty" comment. It's like a guy saying he's packing it might be a joke but in context a simple compliment back even if uninterested. They're universally well received by both sexes as well.
Edit: I also feel that Japanese ingeneral have to meet a higher degree of modesty not just females. And tbh they value more traditional values then here nowadays. Well at least enough that i ain't ever heard about abortion in japan.... so the relationships are more valued instead of being seen as recyclable.
I can understand, "it's just for cheering up yourself not down on others"
So basically be well mannered, take care of your appearance and don't be an a-hole to people? Sound about right. Though I may be failing the always polished look and the always polite talk when I'm pissed off.
Ikr. People with depression can't survive in a very fake society like this.
@@PuffOfSmoke Then be productive and depressed
@@ViviThegreat 😂 stop! You think depressed people can be PRODUCTIVE??? I...cannnn't. 🤣
@@ViviThegreat How about you first learn how to pay your own bills, Zhongli?
Last time I checked, you were doing 0 work and we're 100% wasting Wangsheng funeral parlor's funds.
Poor Hu Tao. And poor Childe.
@@amylouise3044 Sorry about the first comment was this a joke? Cuz it was pretty funny 💀
6:47 i disagree with this one.....I'm a person who naturally doesn't smile much. That doesn't mean I have bad personality or attitude. The notion that girls should always smile is sooooo wrong and not only in Japan but in the whole world.
Yeah. Fake smiling and laughing is so annoying for me especially if it’s obvious. It’s not natural at all.
Fr
that's why the common plot in shoujo manga is when a girl smiles/laughs with the boy, he will fall for her like he was just hit by a Cupid arrow lol. And those who are popular among the boys are always the cute and cheerful type of girls. I couldn't understand why that thing appears in so many shoujo mangas until I watched this video
Soooo true... I don't smile that much more especially when I don't know you... But am not bad or mean
I know this girl. When she’s by herself she doesn’t smile, but as soon as you give her a reason to she’s got one of the sweetest smiles I’ve ever seen. Sad that she only behaved like that around people she was close to
6:58 this is interesting because I personally can’t stand people who fake laugh. I would hate it if someone fake laughs to my jokes without telling me frankly that my jokes suck and aren’t even funny.
Exactly. If a person is just faking their laugh I would not feel good abt it. It's like either they are purpusfully kinda teasing me or are just trying to get attention.
This is new to me, fake laugh is always the way to go to be polite and appreciate someone who made the joke even if it's not that funny or you don't really understand the joke. I guess this is just a difference in culture.
@@davin4811 only if they will think you're not fake laughing. Hahaha but I get what you mean. (my "hahaha" is genuine btw, although you won't realy know that.) 😅
@@davin4811 lool same culture here. Like as long as they appreciate my shit effort AND taste in humour TT ww
Same
The fact that you always have to care about your appearance is so stressfull... i have a very hard time managing my hair since they are wavy so they look messy most of the time TT I dont understand how most japanese girls always look put together when they go especially to school (?) Im just tired and probably depressed i cant take care of my hair every morning
Same here.
When I leave the house my hair is most likely still wet from washing and it gets strange curls on my way to the office.
I once had a hairbrush in my car ... but it vanished ... 😅🤷🏼
I think that it’s very superficial to focus on physical appearance lmao. I would not be happy there.
@@amdiary7 ikr, Japan is great in other aspects but damn, they really do tend to be superficial 😬
@@killuazoldyck_ii yes of course as every other country there are cool aspects about Japan, however, I wouldn’t have guessed that they were so focused on appearance.
I mean, the US and South Korea are also very centered on appearance, it sucks, it really brings people’s mental health down to focus on stuff like this, but at the same time I also bet that Japanese people aren’t the best when it comes to mental health neither so... It’s not really a surprise if you think about it 🤔
@@amdiary7 yes!! i have a few Japanese friends and i was kinda shocked to know how little they know about mental health.. even just terminologies we use have a different meaning to them.
one example would be if i describe someone as a narcissist, that’s pretty bad right? that’d mean that person is extremely self-centered, putting others down bc of their inflated sense of ego. but voila, my friend from Japan said they don’t know that at all. instead, they think being a narcissist is good bc that just means you’re confident 🥴 but then again, they don’t like confident ppl that much as stated in the video, and would rather have you say いえいえ！(no, no, not at all) to compliments 🤷🏻♀️ they have soo many social rules it’s pretty restraining lol
8:34 her cuteness has gone international. She doesn't know but she's now legendary.
It was interesting to hear that if a guy sneakily pays the bill the will try to repay the favor my paying the bill later. That is very good manners and probably something more people everywhere could take note on. I understand the cleanliness one. Must take care of yourself. Thank you for the video.
Yamikoda anime fan🤔🥺😍
no it’s not. he should pay if they are on a date
People who cares about pay a bill issue so much means they are not really ready to effort all. Maybe if interview on more adult person this kind of things won't came up as a issue.
@@n11b_galaxy i didn’t understand a thing u just said
Im touched when someone tries to pay for me but i will still fight a little over who should pay. But if they really really want to pay then I'll let them. Besides, if someone tries to sneakily repay me for something i payed for, Im sorry but I will take offense.
6:20 people need to keep in mind that others may have social anxiety. just because someone shakes there head yes or no doesn’t make you disrespectful especially if that person has severe social anxiety like i do. they should be grateful they even got some type of response. the people are overall being way too judgmental. same with 7:01 not everyone has the same sense of humor so why should we feel forced to laugh at something we don’t think is humorous.
Edit: thanks for all the likes :) i’m glad so many people agree with me on this. ignore the hate, there’s no point in replying to bots. hope you all are having an amazing day.
This
Yes, this. Especially people who suffers on anxieties or even depression, society like this can be really harmful. People need to try at least be a bit more understanding rather than judging.
Well, I think you could tell on whether someone being anxious or just straight up rude
But to be honest, the question was would that make people unpopular, and the fact is yes. Is it bad? Not always. Is it justified? Sometimes yes (just like you say), but not answering properly does leave no room for further chitchat, and to be popular usually you'd be quite friendly with people
that's funny because i feel like people with social anxiety would feel anxious if someone didn't bother to respond to them. and i get people have anxiety and should be more understanding but it's taking it too far that you expect people to be "grateful they even got some type of response." sounds kinda entitled/conceited
@@janed4727 We do answer to people tho, but not always verbally. That's the thing.
can we appreciate how good Cathy Cat interviewed these people on the current topic she's like having a fun-exciting conversation with her close friends!
The problem with this concept of how a girl or anyone should be to be popular is so toxic. Like imagine if everyone started looking, behaving the same how would be have different kinds of people. Yes few things should be considered like not talking rude, having a bad attitude or leaving rice behind but others are just society trying to fit everyone in the box.
It works for them. I would rather live in Japan than in France or America
While talking behind someone's back is sth that I hate too, I prefer people that are honest and upfront, give real reactions, even if that may be rude sometimes. I like people I can be myself around n so I need for them to be that as well. Otherwise what's the point of having friends, a partner?? Being fake is for business or acquaintances.
@Luizy Have you lived in Japan before?
Yesss that is how Asian societies are. Especially Japanese society is particularly problematic. Many young kids are bullied and take their own lives at a much higher rate than American children.
@@luizy6701 yeah school bullying, no decent work environment, high suicide rate, harassment n stalking surely sound great
Some people not even wanna be popular, but they turn out as a very popular person because they are always be themselves without trying hard to be, that's bring out a real chsrisma. And the big point is all interviewees still quite young.
5:24 that happened to me once when I was with a big group but because I was so stressed about catching the right train back to my town ( I was working at a foreign country) I completely forgot to pay & felt so bad afterwards 😭😭🤦🏻♀️
Yeah, it sounds like that would happen to me too
9:32 I can understand wanting to clear your plate and that being good manners, that's how I was raised. But, sometimes rice is filling! Interesting topic and perspectives as always
Men in Japan are promoted and paid more than women so I honestly I don't think men paying for dates is that bad.
Also it doesn't take into account the extra time and products some girls use when they getting ready.
Men all around the world love it when women are perfect angels who self sacrifice and cater to them.
The concept that we’re human beings never crosses their mind. 🫢
@@natalyrausch this... japanese culture is really just misogynistic and expects women to submissive/be overly polite all the time
Yeah they rushed to claim equality skipping the part where they need to give equality to women... Lol
Correct!
The BILL is always a big deal with them, not my favourite part
Ahh this explains why there are lots of "hikikomori” in their country. It would be really hard to fit in if you don't meet some of these standards.
What if that person is literally just being comfortable around you by not having to style her hair in a particular manner and dress moderately ? A genuine question.
To answer ur question. I think it’s more of a consideration thing. In japan there’re things called 気配り& 心配り. Which roughly means putting your thoughts and putting your emotions into something. It is very common for acquaintances and friends that are comfortable w each other to still put effort into themselves no matter the situation. It is very much a world where it is normal to consider other people beforehand. Which explains the other things such as making sure to not leave any food behind no matter what in consideration for the effort that went into making it, and the issue about some people not making and effort to at least looking like you were going to pay as well. It is very much a “it’s the thought that counts” situation. obviously no one is going to feel disrespected by you being comfortable. It’s more like showing you appreciate the person you are with atm by putting some time and thought on your appearance
It was funny that they talked about that because it made me remember a show on Japanese TV where an idol group were receiving a guest every week and talking about random things.
They started discussing about women, and they had this set-up: "Late in the evening, a woman in simple overalls or maybe even pajamas, with unkempt hair, wich just her wallet is alone at the konbini to buy something.
One of the idols statred that he hated women like that the one in the set up, he felt like it was bad taste, too intimate, and if a woman was to go out she should be careful about her style.
But another idol and their guest star (both men) actually stated they LOVED it. They loved how comfortable and chill a woman in that scenario would look, it gave them a sense of proximity to them, as if they were easily approachable, as if it'd be easier to talk to them compared to women who are fully styled (hair + make-up + dressed up) which can seem a bit too unreachable. In the scenario though, they said it made their heart "flutters" to see women dressed like that.
So, really, it depends on the people !
Lots of people enjoy the more "natural" style people can have, just like some others really enjoy people who put a lot of effort in their style.
We should never assume everybody is the same, even in more "homogenous" societies :)
I like the change of pace into evening interviews! Great information!
I guess I just have to appear rude when I don’t finish my food then 😅 I can’t force myself past my limit otherwise I start gagging. Even sometimes I just get bored of the taste and can’t handle any more even with water. But even with the smallest sizes in restaurants I get full very often so a lot of the time I just give the leftover to my husband. You never really know what people are going though with food mentally, or feeling physically so it’s best to not try and force people to eat everything, or on the opposite side tell them to eat less because you feel they’re eating a lot. Just focus on your own plate.
So ig Japanese people would consider me unattractive for my curly hair lmao. Also the thing with the rice and that you have to take care of your appearance in order to look "cute" stresses me out. Lastly, I want to point out that some people might be anxious and won't talk to you/greet you & not everyone has to laugh to be considered "not boring". Those standards are very toxic.
I was thinking that too. They expect a constant performance it seems.
then i guess its fine to stay where you are. I mean these are Japanese people living in japan in a Japanese society. Unless you live there it doesnt really seem like an issue.
Different cultural standards is all it is. For native Japanese, the constant routine of greeting and aisatsu, being humble and polite and reading the room and social situation is all ingrained into them from a young age to be humble and respectful and to pay close attention to meticulous details such as these. I'm not saying it's right or wrong; some practices I can agree with and others I don't, but it really is just cultural differences is all. What may be considered "toxic" to you, is just normal everyday politeness to them.
It's their preference. If you don't fit to it look for someone who likes you the way you are... don't call a whole culture toxic, just 'cause it doesn't fit your liking
Im Japanese but I agree.
Im maybe not really friendly in front of ppl arent my friends&my appearance isnt really good bc I dont hav a enough time to make up. But I always make some friends never judge a book by its cover and being together with them is so comfortable.
ppl like them are amazing&good friends always.
Can you do a video on what Japanese people think of foreigners with strong personalities? And would they date a person with a strong personality especially since in Japan it’s frowned upon edit: Not just plain rude people but people who will stick up for others voice there opinion, not a pushover or maybe just more extroverted
What you define a strong personality? Because from where I'm from people just use that as an excuse for being rude
I second the question that Pedro Yuuhi posted above - define "strong personality". The spectrum can range from what Pedro cited (which is not "strong", but usually is a sign of weakness since that's usually a defensive reaction of an insecure person trying to throw a smokescreen to act "strong") all the way to simply knowing basic things of how to say "no", not being a pushover and/or being confident and have a thick skin. The list of examples does not end here btw, so yeah - which is it?
@@pedroyuuhi I get the same vibe when a girl says something like "you can't handle a girl like me!" and really it's just because she an awful human being
@@pedroyuuhi your right I didn’t really specify so as you can see I edited my comment but girls who aren’t mean but are more loud stick up for themselves or voice there opinion more
@@pedroyuuhi yup. It depends on the definition.
If it's the hard to get kind of girl then that's a red light in most cases.
But if it's type of being headstrong yet with a good personality then it's actually rare.
Because sometimes the temperament affects the personality of a person which will in turn affect their reactions.
Someone who has the temperament of being stoic would hardly have a cheerful or gloomy personality for example.
Or serious temperaments can never have joking personalities.
Just be yourself, be nice and polite, and everything will be fine! c:
"You gotta curl your hair, wear heels, and a short skirt," says the girl wearing a hoodie.
I think they were the "Tinder girls" XDD
Well, that's how u become popular.
I'm pretty sure she was just hyping up her friend you know.
@@reihiramatsu5822 If you're doing all that to become popular, I think that's pretty sad.
@@seurn7801 yup, I know, but it was also ironic. 😂
Japan definitely seems like my cup of tea, whenever i am invited out or getting together to eat, i am always beyond grateful for the food and devour everything. However, in america I’ve experienced my friends and their siblings being very bratty and picky with the food and insult what ever they don’t like and it always makes me uncomfortable.
I love your style!
And believe it or not, i watched this with my daughter. She was so curious about what you were talking about, and we ended up having a talk about what is considered good manner in our country: what was expected, what were the boundaries for us, etc.
So! I'm thankful that your content helped us (super helpful because she's 5 and she ADORES you, she called you a pretty princess 👏🏼)
I don't agree with the point that girls can't go out with only ponytail and not wearing stylish outfits stuffs. Other than that, I agree with everything they said 👌
I agree. I ain't going to style my hair and wear stylishly if I'm just going to buy some stuffs at a convenience store 5 minutes away.
@@Unknownplsyer Exactly! And a konbini is still a konbini even if it's 15-20 minutes away 🤭
@@Unknownplsyer i think it's all preference~ some konbini trips i don't mind going all out too lol
@@HetaClaude I like your thinking, do what the fuck you want and be confident
I am suprised no one mentioned the fact that some Japanese girls have a problem with leading people on and also ghosting. 思わせぶり (Omowaseburi)
As do boys.
@@powbobs im sure girls do that more often
@@hanma7966
Boys do it all the time.
You’re just biased against women and that’s very unattractive.
They both do it and it’s seen normal
This would be more appropriate for a video about "what foreigners find difficult about dating/communicating with Japanese people?", not the other way around.
The paying the bill thing gets me because 99% of the time when I realized the bill was already paid. I didn’t even get the chance to offer paying.
Besides, if you have different financial situations that should be taken in consideration too. Not everyone has a full time job 👀 if the person wants to split or pay full everything, that should be talked in advance to actually consider which restaurant to go. People have different budgets.
Don't care pretend that you wana to pay for dinner 🥗
Lol at "rice corn". That happens when you know so much English that not being able to think of the correct word actually becomes a problem. ps "rice grain"
shes german right? in germany we would call it corn so maybe she mixed it up
@@Soozely666 mmmm that is interesting. I do wonder since in English we refer to whole grains of pepper as pepper corns which historically goes back before the discovery of the americas and maize(corn)..... English is a germanic language and what we refer to as corn(maize) today is from the "new world" so maybe etymologically she is right and anglo saxon/germanic meaning of corn was originally closely linked to grain.
Easy enough to discuss how to go about paying before going out somewhere. The idea of it almost being a "gotcha" aspect of a date seems off to me. Caring about another's independence and thoughts when doing something together is a matter of respect. If something as simple as paying a bill can be a point of contention, oo-boy someone may be a control freak in the relationship.
I also find that really annoying too. Like, come on. Just let us split the bills. It's not a competition 😭
Thanks for another fun video Cathycat!
Interesting as always! It's so cool to get on the ground and see the culture. Going to Japan is still on my bucket list!
So according to the conditions given komi San would be f***ed up if it was not an anime.🤣
It makes no sense that almost everything mentioned in the video was explicitly aimed at women, like all those examples are not affiliated with an overall decent person in general.
Like going out messy, having no manners, leaving some rice, wearing strong fragrance and more.
Yea i get that objectively some of the examples may occur more often with women (like the parfume) but it makes it all sound as if would'nt be have of a big deal if the genders were switched honestly.
Not sure if that is actually the case or if they addressed these examples to anyone at mind
Most of these make sense. I dont really agree with the rice thing though lol. I would never want someone to force themselves to eat and then feel sick? That's just weird to me. Like I understand ordering too much food and then wasting it is a big no-no. But not being able to finish the rice if you finished everything else? Lol That just nit-picky to me and kinda rude in reverse to want someone to overeat.
**adding an edit as to all the replies are very insightful** My family is mixed race Korean/White. My mom never made me continue eating if I was too full and going to get sick. She would usually take it away for later. I currently live in Japan and can understand the not wasting food more with restaurants here because they don't allow take out in 90% of cases. Take out became a thing recently with covid though. Generally I'd say just pick what you know you can eat. Lol
It's a poor person mentality. Japan is a very poor agricultural country and in their history, sometimes they have no rice to eat at all, so even during a bountiful harvest, they're told not to waste rice. If they have rice, then can live and not starve, and that kind of mentality has become a traditional view.
Most asian countries are like that. When I was little, I used not to finish my rice because I was full and my dad would finish it for me because not everyone can eat in our country and to waste was a disrespect to them. Now, I only put in my plate exactly what I'm confident I can eat. If I'm still hungry, I would go for seconds. It can also help your finances to be mindful about things like that.
It's a common tradition in Asian countries
Before, the agricultural techniques were not that developed so farmers have to struggle really hard to plant rice which grows best in muddy/really wet soil
So in my country, children are taught not to leave the rice without eating it all to honor the hard work of those farmers
Where I grow up, they prefer you to finish the dishes instead of the rice, cus the dishes cost more lol. But it comes back to not be too greedy in the first round. I can always ask for seconds. Or I will order a tiny portion. That's how I was taught.
I understand. I suffer from poor digestion. If I eat too much, I can get really sick, so I could never eat too much. Most of the times, I just get what I can eat. But sometimes if I eat out and have no control of the amount served, I'll just leave it at that.
I've heard other Japanese people address this in other videos, but the view abt forcing yourself to finish rice featured here is pretty extreme. I've heard if you got full and your rice is only half finished, that's fine, but if you finished everything but left behind rice grains on the sides of the bowl, that's what is more often seen as a pet peeve, bc of laziness. but like the others said, wastefulness is still very frowned upon, albeit manifesting in unhealthy ways here
Try to Keep in Mind:
In general when it comes to these videos.
These are a few people with their POV. A POV that stems from how they were raised &what they personally choose to accept. Their answers do not speak for all of the people in the land.
Perhaps a good percentage but not all.
The girl in yellow has a good vibe.
Those three girls laughing is just hysterical 😂😂😂
I'm sorry I'm that kind of person who notices small reactions most of the time.
the guy in checkered seemed surprised when his friend said thing about tinder.
AHHAHAH!
Lol i saw that too
@@lavandita very visible aye
It's funny how the "pay the bill" thing is such a thing in Japan as well.
It's not just for people on dates, it's expected between men too. As an example, if a parent is treating another person, especially if it's a person who is just a friend to the family, they should show respect and offer to pay their own way. Often the parent might dismiss it and cover the bill, but you should still be offering.
Or say, if your with your boss, or anything like that.
It's more clear that guys should offer to pay their own way, especially with other men... Cause it's not a date.
But even on dates, it seems important for the other person to show some courtesy by offering to pay.
In the United States it's also a whole thing too...
There's a whole class of women that just expect the men to pay for everything, and it's a huge thing, because then there's a lot of women that think it's a trashy thing to do to men.
Especially since here, women are trying to get equal treatment.
At the same time, men are getting insulted for wanting to split bills, or not offering to pay for the other person...
It's just amusing that Japan has that similarity there.
In France, it's the other way around for the food. It's polite to leave a bit of food in your plate. If you don't, it is as though you're telling your host "you didn't give me enough food, I'm starving"
Depuis quand ?! Ça me dit rien du tout, au contraire à chaque fois que je vais au resto et que l’assiette est vide y a toujours quelqu’un d’extraverti pour dire que c’était délicieux (en riant)
@@fjebdbdjzndjd5026 Ça dépend sûrement des régions, classes sociales, etc
@@corsair1 je me permet de te demander, de quelle classe sociale tu parlais dans ton premier commentaire ?(Je suis de classe moyenne bien que mes parents soient assez opposés à ce niveau là (mère fille de fermier et mon père fils de professeurs))
@@fjebdbdjzndjd5026 Moi je viens d'une classe sociale entre moyenne et aisée. Mais ce genre de règles je les ai apprises en côtoyant des familles d'anciens nobles, il y a un tas de règles à respecter, et ça en faisait partie. Comme je l'ai dit ça dépend sûrement de l'endroit et de la communauté
@@corsair1je comprend mieux ! Merci beaucoup 👍
I don't like the fact that they don't approve of 'treating people unequally' it's like you have to be nice and kind to everyone and always smile to them even if you don't like them? That's straight up hypocrisy and I hate hypocrite people. And I myself can't act to save my life so even if I tried to seem nice to someone I don't like I would miserably fail. In my opinion you should be honest to expect honesty it is very problematic to ask someone to hide their true self/intention/feelings (imo)
Have you heard of the phrases: "Don't stoop to their level." or "turn the other cheek."?
When you're dealing with someone you're not keen on, "being the bigger person" is oftenly a better response than petty, stubborn prejudice.
The boys talking about Tinder girls was spot on. Girls treat it like a free meal app here.
Well I respect the Japanese people & thier pov; but this is just too much. The work culture is already akin to a pressure cooker, they can do without so much of overthinking & over analysing.
Welcome to Japan
It's not that much pressure, at least what they mentioned in the video. I think having a good hygiene, dressing smartly, treating everyone equally (smiling and laughing), being polite to everyone, splitting the bill are basic manners in general not just Japan.
@@23rdpresidentoftheunitedstates That's just a small part! Their language also plays a part in pressure cooker like situation. Unless you have lived in Japan or worked for a Japanese company in Japan you won't get the drift.
My notes-
Basic Standards/Musts:
.Being courteous and polite (giving basic curtasy to everyone)
.Accountability + Responsibility (paying for food + drinks, etc)
.Being consistent in how you treat people
.Being humble
.Put obvious energy into socializing- answer questions properly.
.Don't over use "foul" langauge.
Bonases/Preferences:
.Knows how to laugh and smile openly- relaxed and happy temperament
.Social tact
.Styled hair and complementary clothes (+ sense of style)
.Cleanliness
.Not leaving a lot of left overs- not getting more food then you can handle
.Being cute
Sounds do-able to me. I'm keeping in mind this is about being "popular", not about *if* you'll be like or not.
Popularity is an unimportant side option to me. I just want to meet the basic standards and be myself so I can find someone who loves me for me. Thanks for the video. 👍✨
It's so funny😂 I'm studying Japanese and the words that I understand seem to be at max volume so I pick them up quite easily meanwhile the words I've never heard before are simply mute😂 not sure if that makes sense
I thought my country was very toxic after watching this I feel so happy about my country we are far far more better.
Omg where are you from
All of these just seem like rich people's problems. Kinda ironic in a society where you have to work your ass off to get by
Honestly expected worse ans these r OK except
the first 1 tho it is imp to take care of hygien when u go out people struggling with mental health often have a hard time doing that so I'd advise not to judge or be too hard on them instead help them nicely.
The food one = if u cannot eat it don't force yourself
Social anxiety = there r some people who are not able to talk in public properly / to servers such as saying ty for the food. This is something I personally struggle with I've tried so hard to get words out but sometimes anxiety takes over so don't be too hard on urself if u cannot speak in public properly.
Once a guy had given up his seat for me & I managed to get a thank you out but my voice was too Low 😭
Girrrrllll well said. Mental health matters 💖
the hair thing made me upset lol I don't think that not combing your hair necessarily says something about yourself 🤔 I go out like that a lot because its just more comfortable and sometimes you just don't have time. If you are just going to the grocery story why bother 😅
Why don't we appreciate her acting lol it's so goooddd
That feeling of dread when you do some self reflection and realise you do some of these hehe
I don't know why i care. Id like to one day go to see their historical architecture and cultural foods, but i don't believe its realistic that id ever actually visit japan because theres so much going on that i don't have time or money to travel.
As a person who grew up in a semi-japanese family, leaving rice behnd would definitely make the slipper and belt ready, lol
Once I went on a date with a Japanese guy, we went to eat curry rice for dinner. He made me eat every bit of little rice and clean the plate even tho I was so freaking full. It was first and last date. He ignored after first date lol.
Japanese boys are really strange 😁
out of topic: their hair and fashion are amazing
0:08 the right guy looks like Dori Sakurada
An amusing interview and I would agree with most of them.
But overall just be yourself and be polite to people, at least try to. If you're socially awkward or is really extremely shy so you end up fucking up like not answering or giving off the "idgaf" attitude without intention, then I believe you need to move on and try not to be rude... Okay that kinda seemed harsh, but I meant that don't pay no mind to people that might instantly assume you're an asshole cuz they don't know what you're struggling of. Unless you apologise and give them an explanation, but I believe that's too excessive especially if its people you just met etc... I hope it makes sense.
Though I understand why some people might find those type of people rude, but they must be understanding.
Anyhow just do you and don't try to fit everyone's expectations.
i have social anxiety so i guess i cant go in public or ill be hated ahhh
I do have that too. But just when people talk to you, just be polite... But people randomly talking to you in public is not very common in Japan tbh.
As Italian boy, I will be offended if the girl pays her own part. The moment I fell in love with my wife, even before we got together, I always pretended to pay for both of us. I would have paid even if she had refused my courtship.
What would you say if a girl you're dating gets offended by you paying
@@kipp3384 Why should she be offended? Gender equality? There are other ways to show that I consider her to be on an equal footing! It is about gallantry.
If you pretended to pay then who paid lmao
Hey, sappi che “pretend” in inglese significa “far finta”, non so se volevi dire “pretendere” ma quello non è il verbo giusto da usare
@@Josh729J
I think he was trying to say something different. In Italian “pretendere” means something like “to be very insistent on something” and “pretend” sounds very similar to “pretendere” so he might have thought they meant the same thing.
Personally, these things jus make me feel idk less interested in guys in Japan as ik not everyone has the same taste but I feel like for example,not finishigin your rice.jus cause it's your belief doesn't mean every girl shld follow it. And for example,shaking your head is rude,it's a basic thing I mean,no one judges u just for that.
I am curious about the payment issue. It was not covered but does it make a difference if they are in a committed relations as in this is my boyfriend/girlfriend and they are exclusive or if they are just dating as casual friends.
It is strange having been brought up that if you ask a girl out on a date, you cover it. IT is almost as though if they say they will get it or half of it, it is not a committed relationship in the West or you know this is not going to go anywhere intimately. In the West it is almost as though she is saying Thanks for dinner but I'll get my half and you can lose my number. Weird dance in Japan vs the West.
You've had other interviews where the girls say they want their boyfriends or dates to act like Western men with opening car doors for them, door at stores or restaurants etc, hold their chairs for them as they are seated, on dates and even paying for meals.
THEN at the same time we hear not covering their half is rude and unpopular.
Somewhat confusing.
It seemed like it was a bit less about the girl needing to pay half every time, and more about the offer. Like the guy said, he doesn't mind paying for a meal himself, but it's good manners for the girl to at least take out her wallet and offer to pay instead of assuming that the guy will.
That being said, the girls also do like it when the guy shows 'chivalry' and opens the doors, pays for the meal, etc. They appreciate that kind of thing and maybe even expect it, but feel it would be rude for them not to offer and, at least some of the time, pay for their share of the food/date activity.
The extent to which that is the case is of course going to vary from person to person, which is perhaps part of why you're seeing a contradiction.
What you pointed out regarding the Japan vs. the West is very interesting though
I've never been on a date in my life, but I couldn't imagine splitting the check being an indicator of non-interest in a second date. I would find it practical since it saves money for both parties. And I wouldn't have to feel bad about someone spending so much on me if the place wasn't cheap. And then if the date didn't go well, neither person would feel like they wasted money on someone they didn't like lol.
So even if it took me hours to style my natural curly hair, guys will think I'm unclean??? That seems kinda unfair. All my friends have straight hair, and some of them just take 5 minutes combing it and it looks perfectly straight. Meanwhile, it'll take me an hour to do my hair routine, and I'm called messy... :c
Conclusion: Nobara Kugisaki from Jujutsu Kaisen will never be popular.
People seem to always respond to these types of videos with Wow Japan is so strict! but you have to remember that she's asking them for their opinions and this is a collection of that. Since people have different opinions you're going to get lots of different things, that makes it seem like there's lots of "rules", really there's just a few main things here (keep up with hygiene/grooming, don't badmouth people, and at least offer to split the bill--none of these things seem that unordinary). If you did the same thing in other countries asking what makes people unpopular I'm willing to bet you'd get similar results.
I hope you don't mind if I mention a translation error. At 9:02 it says "girls who leave rice corns..." That should be "rice grains" or "grains of rice." : )
I’m probably going to get flak for this, but the woman in orange always catches my eye. I can’t tell if it’s the style, her looks, or the way she speaks. Maybe it’s all three. She seems like she’s very cool.
For casual conversations with my friends i just shake or nod my head there really isnt much to look into
So if wearing deodorant is not so strong will I be fine in those japanese style restraunts?
I usually wear a lot of perfume but it seems like I won't be able to in Japan-
I'm going there in 2 weeks and I'm super excited!! I have always want to go there since I was 7 right now I'm 11 years old and I will be going with my dad!!
I don't think strong perfumes are that popular in Japan... But i think you can still wear them, but maybe not ones with strong scents.
You're 11 and wearing lots of perfume? Probably best to stick with deodorant. It's not just with restaurants, but in general overwhelming perfume is kinda frowned upon. But people probably won't care too much if you're a tourist
Right. as soon as they live west the control slips away and they live freely.
Maybe I'm interpreting this wrong, but I'll never understand how Japanese comprehend bad or foul language when it technically doesn't exist in their native tongue. I mean yes there's certain words to curse out like _"Kusa!"_ out of frustrating expression, but those words aren't bad words to begin with by comparison.
It's even up to the point where certain Japanese Vtubers acknowledge American profanity and either laugh at it, try to hide the fact that they heard it, or some downright use it because they want to sound profane, like turning _"Fuck You"_ into _"FA-Q."_
Again, if those words don't necessarily exist in the Japanese language, so what's the big deal?
I don't get it.
Im pretty sure grass isnt a curse word
@@ルリ-ruri I acknowledged that in my comment already, but it doesn't answer my question.
My understanding is that Japanese is very strict about formal and informal speech. You can appear to be rude if you use the wrong one, for example speaking informally to a boss, or even speaking formally to an employee. But I don't speak Japanese, so I hope that someone with a better understanding will comment.
@@Mecks089 maybe you mean kuso, that one mean shit
@@ルリ-ruri I was just about to comment this lol
Its so nice that everyone durimg inverview is wearing a mask...
Who is paying when you are dating is a tricky thing, there is no right and wrong. You need to look at what type of man you are going out with. If they are uni student or minimum wage salary man then expect to going dutch when you are dating. But when you are going out with well established men, specially if they are asking you to go out then don't bother to pay. Even showing a gesture that you want to pay will come out as offensive for them, some men are still enjoying the provider role and chivalrous. So be smart at reading the situation and the person you are going out with.
So many things to pretend and acts to fake just to be popular or be accepted.. no freedom to express yourself. This is why bullying is such a big issue in Japan.
In Russia males always paying for girls, because this is right! Think about it: girls and boys don’t have same salary in countries like japan
Lol worrying about cleanliness yet I still haven't seen a single japanese person use soap to wash their hands. Most ignore the sink entirely or stick two fingernails vaguely near the water for half a second.
lol really? :O i always wash my hands when im lieaving the house
Their cleanliness usually means presentable appearance. Hence western men are not really popular in japan unless they adjust to norm
Agree, the amount of times ive seen also girls not wash their hands after toilet use
They also don’t use deodorant…
@@ily5540 i dont use deodorant because i batch 2x a day and I dont smell.
I swear I know the green haired girl in 5:53 from somewhere. Is she a singer? She looks awfully familiar
So basically they're just asking you to be polite. Sounds about right. The comment section is ridiculous. Just because you're having a bad day doesn't mean you get to be rude to others -.- its basic manners to smile and respond in a friendly manner when someone is talking to you, even if you're pissed off atm. That's not being fake. That's called being polite and well behaved. That's how we maintain a society. That's what makes us civilized. Tf is wrong with people?
If I ever went to Japan, I guess I will be deemed unpopular...🤣🤣
Well i guess nobody would like me then if i be myself
Must learn to fake my personality to fit in someone else’s standards but it seems absurd because the person you like isn’t even being original self , it’s just a made up personality, that’ll in the end cause harm to the society if everyone just pretends to be the cute and polite person at all times which is impossible for an ordinary human
I just want the girl in the orange jacket instagram. I like her style and she seems to have a big personality
I really like that girls hair in the orange jacket
I agree, I never leave rice behind!😬
a woman in Japan needs to be a robot or a doll. I feel sorry for them!
Don't know where that assumption but ok
@@mracc4240 dumb 🤣🤣🤣
皮肉最高w
The girl with the sude buzz cutb and orange jacket looks hella cool
My man turned into a whole dad and said "you ain't leaving the table until the plate is clean" o.o lol
Oh my goodness now I’m embarrassed because I do leave rice behind because I get really full 😨
I'm confused why so many ppl are interpreting what the ppl here said so extremely. I dont recall seeing any of them say that girls have to fake laugh or always be feminine. the girls just said that it's better to not be boring and know when to laugh. dont laugh out loud in spaces where a quiet demeanor is favored like a restaurant. that's not even something exclusive to japan that's just manners in general
I think these also apply to all people tho not only girls, nevertheless it was very entertaining to watch!
The word "popular" is toxic in itself. Being popular means to stand out and be adored, which means you'd have to be the best of the best to the eyes of the targeted population that you want the positive attention from. Hence, I am unfazed by this video because it's nothing new. What I am surprised about though is that a couple of people in the comment section act like Japan is the only judgemental country when the rest of the world does the same. Standards exist, hierarchies exist, nepotism exists and etc everywhere which is very unfortunate
No, that's just your headcanon. Being popular simply means being liked by a majority of people. People can be popular for being nice, people can be popular for being smart, people can be popular for constantly helping others. This generation just loves tossing the word "toxic" around.
I have different personalities to different people as OBVIOUSLY its not like I like all human being HAHAHA. A person who's all kind and cute to all people is FAKE dude. wake up!
Like me as I am, no pretending
By the way, that girl with the short green/blue hair is so cute.
Wholesome content
If I am in Japan, I will probably never go to restaurants date because I have no money 🙃. I still work to pay my bills but no money for date. Sayonara for relationships then 😶
0:49 does anyone know where to get that orange coat from?
No offence but the last 2 girls seemd a little shallow to me. I consider the way someone laughs should not be too important as long as it s genuine. The way someone dresses should not be to impress anyone. Rather you should dress simply to fit the setting and be comfortable with yourself. That to me was a very bad advice. You do not need to look flirty for guys to like you.
i just think it is an annoying standard that girls must be proper with their language and their appearance. Most of all, you can't really cuss in their language?! I didn't know that. Also, i feel like girls who give other pple different treatment should not be guaranteed a bad thing bc what if they particular person is rude to them so they give them a cold shoulder. That can give a lot of misunderstanding. The only thing i don't have a problem w is the bills. People should be able to offer or make up the food bills.. maybe just be honest that you don't have the money to pay and im sure w the RIGHT pple can understand that.
unpopular opinion: sloppy kissers
Unfortunately it's something that remains unknown until the very moment!