How To Know If You’re Bi | Chosen Family Podcast
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- Опубліковано 18 вер 2024
- This week, Mak reveals a surprising experience of bisexual questioning that leads to a deep family discussion. Ashley and Alayna share their own questioning moments, and the fam offers guidance to those wondering whether or not they might be bisexual.
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Ashley being such a good friend yelling at Alayna and then Mak just adding "no" 😂 I love their friendship.
Alayna completely forgetting about an entire decade with a guy is the funniest thing I've seen this week 🤣 😂
@@alywouldthey said he was the nicest guy ever so idk if we gotta pull that with him lol
This whole show just makes me realize women should be in charge everywhere right.
Women are the actual "natural leaders" and everything wrong with society is a result of that fact being obscured and denied... just sayin.
Ashley’s face at 20:50 was the face of pure shock but also horror, fear and betrayal lmao
That face should be on merch
I love when Ashley is mean and scream at us. Please do more. Us non-existent bi people appreciate.
I suddenly had a flash of Maddie interacting with Alayna and Mak and now I want a podcast crossover
Yes! I love Maddie, she's like a little enlightened Ashley 😂
Yes!!
Okay, I love the homo vs. Bi/pan discussion. Especially Ashleys point about it being harder to figure out with an acutal person you like who desires you and gives you physical touch. It's even harder if you're also on the ace spectrum. Then the Harry Styles test doesn't work.
It's not just cumpulsory heterosexuallity you need to deconstruct, but also compulsory allosexuality. I guess you actually need to try it out, to see if you are bi/pan and somewhat ace/demi or if you're just actually homosexual and more or less allosexual.
Also, concerning how much problematic behavior stems from emotional problems men have ect... that's why your podcast is so important! You mentioned that you have so many straight male listeners before... this is why. They need a safe space to learn. My mind is blown haha. Thanks for your feminist contribution, healing cis straight men's hearts, broken by the patriarchy, one episode at a time.
“It's not just cumpulsory heterosexuality you need to deconstruct, but also compulsory allosexuality. I guess you actually need to try it out, to see if you are bi/pan and somewhat ace/demi or if you're just actually homosexual and more or less allosexual.”
This. This is me. Best description of what’s going on in my head I’ve ever seen
Yes!! The gay/straight binary has made it so hard for me to figure out my identity as an asexual person
Definitely thought I was bi for the longest time because “I feel the same towards people regardless of their gender” however that feeling is not sexual and that’s the part that took a lot of figuring out
"...harder to figure out with an acutal person you like who desires you and gives you physical touch. It's even harder if you're also on the ace spectrum." THANK YOU for putting this into words, this is exactly how i've felt about my identity my entire life. it's hard to figure out how "gay" you are when you're barely attracted to people in the first place. it's also very weird being on the ace spectrum - i don't fit into any label and hence i don't really feel like i belong.
Alayna's "I would see Harry Styles and be like, 'can't be a lesbian!'" Is hella real lmao
Thank you for the bi love and support! This bi girl really appreciates it 💖💜💙
how I know I found a good podcast: they talk about bi genocide and there are bi/pan people in the comments loving the episode and feeling seen 😂
So Ashley explaining how to say no is 10/10.
So many of us find the need to apologize for who we are already and feel like we need to make up for it by taking on extra tasks and extra labor for others instead because they feel like we’ve disappointed them by being gay or etc. and even though that’s not the case here It’s so helpful to hear somebody articulate a polite way to say no
The absolute comedic gold of Ashley yelling “interpret that as genocide, I don’t care” and everyone agreeing “this is the gay agenda” and then a hard cut to the advertisement segment, from a company named Babbel no less…. You guys are the absolute best. Love you so much.
Ngl this sent me into a serious identity crisis. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years and the way Alayna described figuring out she was gay is like... really freaking me out. I haven't been allowed the freedom to try anything with women but I've been flirted with by a woman and it was insane how different the feelings were.
It's been a recurring theme that I keep pushing back but it comes up so much that I'm worried
Good luck. hugs
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
first off, I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling like that
I don't know whether you are familiar with Alayna's content on her own channel, but there is a lot of stuff concerning this very topic (one might have to scan a bit through the multitude of videos)
apparently they have helped some people know themselves a bit better
in any case wherever your path is headed I'm wishing you all the best ^^
As a Queer man I absolutely get male friends & acquaintances confessing their gay/bi feelings or experiences to me. Usually completely unprompted. It adds an extra layer of confusions I think because sometimes it's not clear if they're using it as a way to flirt or just looking for solidarity with a safe person. Sometimes I don't think they even know which it is
The whole conversation about their “above the waist crushes” affirmed my asexuality. The fact that people can distinguish above and below, while I’m like is that not just how all crushes are?
Also the duck song was an unexpected throwback!
I think an important thing to add to the bi conversation is don't stress to much about putting a label on your identity. If you think you want to date a girl, but you're not sure if it's just aesthetic attraction or romantic attraction without sexual attraction, you can identify as straight or bi and change your label later or you can just not put a label on yourself. If you've slept with or dated men in the past and you're not sure if you're a lesbian or bi because of those experiences, you're allowed to label yourself however you want and change it later. If you've exclusively dated women and called yourself a lesbian and now you're sexually attracted to one man, you can explore that without changing the label you've given yourself for a decade. If you think you're attracted to women, but you're not comfortable experimenting sexually through hook ups, that's ok! (Lots of people are somewhere on the demisexual spectrum and can't experience sexual attraction if they don't know someone well. Just make sure if you're in a relationship with a woman that you're up front that you're not sure if you're sexually/romantically attracted to women yet) Even if you're sure you fit into labels, you don't have to use them if you don't want to. People like to group people and put labels on people, or labels themselves because it feels safe, but there are no rules. Being open minded and working through comp het and internalized homophobia are the best things you can do for yourself. Some people come out at 12, some people come out at 65, so don't rush because of peer pressure and follow your own timeline.
👏👏👏👏 f#&kn shout it from the rooftops! You do you, you don't need a label. I love that there are so many more words and labels now than when I was growing up, and it's helped me alot to understand myself now that I have words to describe my sexuality, but I still don't really feel I fit in any one box and that's fine too. We don't have to figure it all out and know everything right away, it's an ever evolving thing for many people
Please do merch! I’m still waiting for the “tell her she’s cute” / “tell them they’re cute” t-shirts 🥲
Need one with Ashley's face going "They're not interested!"
For balance
what i love abt this podcast is that both alayna and mak have let their humor out more bc of ashley. like yeah, i imagine being friends w and working w a hilarious professional comedian would allow you to let out your goofy side and engage in bits more, and also you learn through practice/exposure/trial and error how to be even funnier. and it just makes me happy bc y'all crack me up. that's all. :)
The way to get a people pleaser to say NO to something is to convince them that they are not currently capable of giving their all on said project/task and that they would in fact be doing the person a favour by not taking it on.
'Imagine how much stress taking on that task would be, would you be able to give it the attention it deserves, without completely burning yourself out? Do you think that this person would thank you for doing this without your full ability or attention?'
Lyrics
A duck walked up to a lemonade stand
And he said to the man runnin' the stand
"Hey! [(bam bam bam)] Got any grapes?"
The man said: "No, we just sell lemonade
But it's cold, and it's fresh, and it's all home-made!
Can I get you a glass?"
The duck said, "I'll pass."
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
'Til the very next day
"Bom bom bom bom bom babom"
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
And he said to the man runnin' the stand
Hey! (bam bam bam), got any grapes?
The man said: "No, like I said yesterday
We just sell lemonade, okey?
Why not give it a try?"
The duck said. Good bye
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
'Til the very next day
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
And he said to the man runnin' the stand
"Hey! (bam bam bam) Got any grapes?"
The man said: "Look, this is gettin' old
I mean, lemonade's all we've ever sold
Why not give it a go?"
The duck said: "How about - no."
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
'Til the very next day
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
And he said to the man runnin' the stand:
"Hey! [(bam bam bam)] Got any grapes?"
The man said: "That's it! If you don't stay away, duck
I'll glue you to a tree and leave you there all day stuck!
So don't get too close!
The duck said, Adios
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
'Til the very next day
When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand
And he said to the man runnin' the stand
"Hey! [(bam bam bam)] Got any glue?"
"What?" "Got any glue?" "No, why would I - oh..."
"Then one more question for you:
Got any grapes?"
And the man just stopped
The he started to smile
He started to laugh
He laughed for a while.
He said: "Come on, duck
Let's walk to the store
I'll buy you some grapes
So you don't have to ask anymore
So they walked to the store
And the man bought some grapes
He gave one to the duck
And the duck said: "Hmm, no thanks
But you know what sounds good?
It would make my day
Do you think this store
Do you think this store
Do you think this store
Has any lemonade?"
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Thank you for writing out the song!!😂💜💜 I remember listening to this nonstop back in middle school❤😍
Thanks so much! I did not know this song before and now I love this savage duck!
Alayna's cat doesn't understand language barriers so instead thinks the spanish speaking Julio just can't hear her xD
I swear that cat is translating everything Alayna says for the dog!!!! The cat is helping and Alayna’s like “omg they’re gonna fight” 13:48 😂😂 Alayna for real the cat is helping him 😹😻😻😻
Ashley yelling at Alayna was absolutely hilarious. I’m going to listen to it when I need a pep talk to not to something stupid. 😅
Ashley being too old to know the Duck Song is hilarious
I only know it cuz I have a Gen Z child 🙃
An interesting thought that comes up for me is (reg. the women listening to men's problems): By participating, do we not also uphold the system and ensure its sustainability? Men turn to this safe space because they hide their true selves, thus forming the pillars of a system that will continue to suppress the lower hierarchy levels. It even defines the hierarchy levels by exactly that vulnerability/visibility. Interestingly, those who do not have the chance to fit in, to pass, to be celebrated within the system are then the ones that 'have to' provide the safe space that the system can't. The analysis that men are lonely and face similar hardships in the patriarchy (depending on culture/location) is definitely accurate, and everyone deserves to be heard. However, not everyone has the CHOICE to cherry-pick from both worlds, and not everyone has the POWER/OPTION to change the system from within. Men are called upon to recognize the connections here, and perhaps that also includes that women (and other patriarchy-"outsiders") should not that easily allow themselves to be used as a vent without providing the overall context. I get it though. You do not want to give yourself that label of "outsider" and annoy everyone educating on patriarchy and suppression 24/7. Especially when someone approaches you with a really serious, intimate topic. There are so so many layers to this. The social structures. The own identity. ('I am a caring person', 'I am trustworthy and a secret keeper,' 'this person needs me', 'I like them', 'oh look, validation,' 'he's only this vulnerable with me,' 'it's me, I am the chosen one', 'pick me-token-mentality", etc. etc.) Many inner narratives, so many factors.
And then this aspect of heterosexual men often falling for the female friend, women that listen to them, then fall into unhealthy, even toxic, obsessive behavioral patterns. And why? Because they often experience this intimacy only within a partnership, find only that as the acceptable model for men. Ugh so much going on :D Sorry hope my English works well enough for this braindump ;)
Chosen Family merchandise ideas:
Chosen Family baseball cap, but the words are on the back so it must be worn backwards for Ashley.
Some type of cute top of something for Alayna? Maybe a black one like the one that distracts Ashley every time she wears it. Or climbing shoes but I'd imagine the logistics on that might be complicated.
A large stuffed megalodon (maybe made with assistance with Squishmallow?) for Mac. Or barring that... a sports bra? For her tictocs.
For me, realizing I'm a lesbian, all boiled down to Attraction vs. Desire.
I can thirst for fictional male characters or older men celebrities, but any time I try to picture myself being sexual or romantic with men, even those 'crushes', my entire body cringes inward, like I'm shrinking and shriveling in on myself.
A man can be attractive, and I can find him attractive, but there is literally not a single ounce of desire in my entire body. It's like, wow, he's so good-looking, and that's all I feel about it. Moving on.
1:23 My heart CANNOT handle Ashley being all soft.
i dont care too much about labels tbh. i've always said im nonbinary and bi because i hate gender and im down for whatever. i've been told to use the label pan and then have been angrily messaged about my response being "i dont care for that label". i like guys. i like girls. thank you. goodnight.
I feel like this was the episode specifically tailored to me, as a lesbian who thought she was bi for 10+ years and was actually married to a man (with two older sisters lol). Good shout from Ashley on the matter that if you sit in between the masc/femme stereotypes it’s definitely harder to figure out your identity imo.
I relate so much to Alayna’s struggle about saying no to that opportunity. And Ashley sounds like what my husband WANTS to yell at me every time I add something unnecessary to my schedule!😂
the fact that theyre calling the duck song a nursery rhyme 😂😂
My great grandfather read it to me from a book called UA-cam.
I'm aware there's lag when you guys are recording, which causes you to cut each other off.
Mac seems less likely to come back and keep on talking after being cut off, compared to Ashley/Alayna.
Maybe always cede the floor to Mac, if you find that you and she are talking at the same time? Or, at least until you feel that the balance is better between you (since Alayna said Mac could talk more).
As someone who always struggles to return to a point after being cut off and struggles to say my piece in conversations, I’ve definitely noticed this too. Not to assume that Mak feels this way, and I’m aware it’s something I need to work on for myself as well, but I have noticed myself relating in those moments.
Something I’ve wondered about (and something I’d be interested to hear them discuss if they ever get into it), but would the onus be on Mak to speak up for herself, or to Ashley and Alayna to give her the space? I’ve always thought it’d be nice if friends tried to be more attentive to ceding the floor to me when I try to speak up, especially if they know it’s difficult for me, but I don’t know if that’s unreasonable and I should be expected to be able to assert myself. I’m sure it’s a bit of middle ground from both sides, but I’d be interested to hear others’ thoughts.
THE DUCK SONG 😂😂😂
@Alaynajoy - it’s not about whether you can “squeeze” one more obligation IN. It’s whether you can squeeze anymore energy OUT of you. You don’t want to get to where you’ve got nothing left, aka, you graduate and have to take two years to recover afterwards before you can work again. And, adrenaline is not energy. Adrenaline is for crisis response, not day to day life.
There are asexuals who have sexual fantasies but no desire to ever act on them irl, so it also makes sense to find someone appealing that you wouldn't usually find appealing but not have it be a sexuality thing or something you would actually want to pursue
Also, learning about aesthetic attraction helped me understand my sexuality so much better. It doesn't get talked about enough
Thank you for this amazing ep. ! A month ago I ended a frinedship with one of my closest gay frinds. One day I was sharing a story like Mak's and he said that I was bi. I got so mad because it took me so long to be who I am. And I can't believe that I have to explain myself "Why I'm not bi but a lesbian"to a gay guy. I'm not allowed to be impressed by men anymore I guess to his logic or I end up in a different cathegory. When I confronted him he said "Well u used to be with guys so u will always be bi " . ... I was speachless
I think I still know I'm bisexual because it feels right, and "lesbian" doesn't feel right to me. But after being with a man for almost 10 years (married for almost 5), I have absolutely no desire to be with men again. I don't feel emotionally safe with them and I worry that I will not be physically safe with them because of how much they can potentially get away with. Plus ive had average-at-best relationships with men and great relationships with women, so that further skews my emotions. So that is kinda stuffing me up atm
I love hearing your discussions about sexuality. It’s so helpful for those of us still kinda confused to hear about other people’s experiences. Makes us feel less lost and lonely
Alayna mentioned women being expected to emotionally support men….
I am a cisgender woman myself, but I haaaate the following cognitive dissonance (speaking generally here):
Women: “Omg I can’t believe a man would feel entitled to my support. Women aren’t your personal, free therapists. Society needs to stop thinking they’re entitled to free emotional labor from women”
Often the exact SAME women: “It’s every women’s job to lift up other women!….Don’t be selfish. Nobody gets ahead until we’re all ahead…”
So are we free to set boundaries on our emotional labor?
Do we “owe” our emotional labor to others?
Why are we blaming “the patriarchy” for demands on women’s time when the call is also coming from inside the house?
I love that Alayna sang the duck song!!!
Mak’s responsibility is obviously beach. It’s offensive that you ask.
underrated comment
How does this comment not have more likes? 😂 Her singing "Im just Ken" was pure gold 10/10
As a straight cis-male who feels like a can of TMI worms more often than not, where opening up always become a trauma dump in hindsight: thank you to anyone willing to listen, and sorry for when doing so is necessary.
This was a GREAT episode. I loved the topic in general, but also for personal reasons, and how it just led to a lot of other really important conversation points. Love you guys!
How I gauge that I'm gay and not bi is that I could fall in love with a man's head (with a beard, maybe a monobrow and crossed eyes) in a jar but not a woman's head in a jar, that would just be horrifying.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
?
@@tablecloth1943 Like I could fall in love with a male head on a female body and develope attraction but not a female head (brain included) on a male body, that wouldn't do it for me.
the duck song representation was so good in this ep
OMG Juliooooooo 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 finally some latino representation for all the 6 nonwhite subscribers. 😂😂 Julio, te amamos! Eres el mejor, gracias por ser nuestra familia escogida.
Ayyyy one of the six here! (PR + Mexican)
Oh my god, I never seen that this was a thing, but it totally is!
Bi fem here and I've also had my friend, who was extremely closeted, only came out to me as bi, we spoke about it and I was like yeah that's bi... you're bi.. but afterwards, when I'd try and bring this up again, or label him as "bi" he'd kinda be like ohh noo I don't think I'm actually bi, then eventually flat out denied he was haha
best part of my weekkkk 😊
Do you think Mac will ever say, "Mom, Dad, I love you but could you please be quiet and let me talk?"
Okay so I'm bi and understand the Harry Styles thing to an extent. Before I accepted I was bi, I was very attracted to feminine men. One of my bigger crushes in fact turned out to be *gay* and a drag performer himself. After I accepted my bisexuality and attraction towards women, suddenly I was much more interested in more traditionally masculine men as well. My net for the kinds of people I find to be attractive suddenly widened in all directions, because I was finally embracing that side of myself instead of rejecting it, and I was no longer projecting my attraction towards women onto men.
Just yesterday, one of my straight guy friends texted me because he needed someone to talk to about this girl he likes. I hadn't talked to him in a month before this, and he has guy friends and a best friend who he sees every day. He said he hadn't told any other his friends about it, and when I asked him why he couldnt really give an answer, and it just seemed like he was embarrassed or uncomfortable to talk to them. This sounds just like what they were talking about in this episode! It really is crazy that guys feel more safe talking to a queer woman about their feelings than their guy friends
i appreciate Alana specifically mentioning lesbians hating on bisexuals - just this morning i was thinking.. i think i have to lose hope on lesbians bc it's really hard to be a part of a community where i can FEEL the prejudice in their presence. i'm thankful for lesbians who us! ty ty
I'm trying to figure myself out and I always appreciate these conversations in these episodes
Listening cuz I can't sleep ,this one was a really good episode top5 of chosen family
Bi masc here and I just want to say thankyou for the recognition . Loved the episode
I'm sorry but aleyna said "Superman guy tom Holland"🥺 4:47
I literally watched Jessie Gender's video essays on men and masculinity the past few days and she touches upon how men are taught that women will take care of their needs, sexually and emotionally. And they can conflate that kind of emotional intimacy with physical intimacy because they often only get that emotional intimacy with a partner (if they're straight), and think one goes with the other. And even if it's just the emotional dumping (without reciprocation), that comes from a place of subconsciously viewing women as receptacles for their needs.
Also, I find the whole bisexuality discussion very interesting because so much of it has to do with how hard it is to differentiate the types of attraction. Like, at the surface, the difference between sexual and aesthetic attraction is clear, but in practice, it can get so much more complicated because of the things Ashley mentioned, like physical touch, the feeling of being desired, fantasising vs actually doing things, ... I'm asexual and sexual attraction always kinda baffles me, and yet I question when I think of "wanting to be close with a person" or if comphet plays a role and I'm just not interested in men and don't *think* I'm interested in women because society views women as less sexual. And distinguishing romantic from platonic attraction is a whole other mess. I *think* I'm capable of feeling romantic attraction and I *think* I can feel it for all genders, but I don't know if I would recognise it. And I've generally been more drawn to women and non-binary people than to men, so who knows. Not to mention the fact that some people experience attraction to each gender very differently, even if they're definitely attracted to more than one gender.
My younger brother who has a sister on each side once asked when he was 3 about two other boys who were kind of mean where are their sisters? They had no sisters and he said “that’s why they’re crazy”
😂 "Non practicing bisexual" please cue the Larry King/ Anna Paquin interview
As a bi listener, I will be waiting for that valid discount for that lovely merch😂.
Also really enjoyed this episode. I came to terms with my sexuality after having a kid and being married to my husband . Thankfully, I have support from him but it definitely is difficult to navigate going through that self discovery. Reddit, therapy and lots of trying to remember who I was attracted to from movies and past crushes helped a lot . 😅
When you three speak, both my brain and heart listen. Thank you 🙂❤
I needed this today.. my ex made fun of the fact that my sister died in a car accident with a tractor saying that he wished the bus would get hit by one today… I have had such a bad day and you guys always make me feel better so thank you❤️❤️
As a younger sister with an older brother i would like to testify that although my brother is very outspoken about being protective of me, he has absolutely never acted on that, for ex in any situation involving our parents. I on the other hand, have stood up for him on multiple occasions, even since i was a little toddler running around yelling at people not even knowing the full story. Conclusion, older brothers are ungrateful little shits.
Mak’s fans are ravenous. I’m one. A+ for the mandatory presentation in front of the class- the excitement was palpable. Really sold me on running.
Early 2021 Alayna *swiping left people on meeting apps because they had dogs on their pictures*
Late 2023 Alayna "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, GOOD BOOOOOY *.*"
What a glowup.
I was listening on a podcast platform and I had to switch over to UA-cam to see Ashley's expression at 20:50 and I can confirm that it was worth it
Not Mac giving "parents forced me to practice my middle school speech in front of them" energy lol. We
DOOOGS!!! My heart is so happy
Yay! I was scared when I got home from work and it wasn't uploaded
as someone who does not live in the planes, ashley, google the duck song right now. this is art, you cannot miss it.
2:27 “he's so smart because the shape of his head”
Literally every woman can be beautiful lady. Some dudes literally can't imagine beyond what they see.
Hey, to add to the discussion abt how to figure out if you're bi, I am demisexual meaning that I don't feel sexual attraction until I have feelings for the person, so when alayna talked abt thinking abt kissing a person of a certain gender might help, it just didn't work for me, if it's the case for you too, imagining any kind of physical touch and how it would feel depending on the person and the gender could help or just maybe picture the romantic aspect of it, hope this helps
I LOVE THE DUCK SONG !!! PLZ EDUCATE ASHLY AND PLAY IT FOR HER
ASHLEY IS SO FUNNYYYY
OH MY GOD. Thinking about it for years is so relatable. I think that just solidified something in me
I have an older brother (1.5 yrs) who would actively make a point to talk to my guy friends in HS to tell them "hey watch out for my sis" and then he'd go back to picking on me behind the scenes lol now that we're older I still have to preach how to treat women bc growing up he didn't take my advice. At least now he does. Not the same for everyone, but just wanna share haha
As a bisexual this episode was very refreshing and needed (especially after the dream I just had last night 😳😂)
30:20 This is like... exactly how I finally figured out I'm aro/ace.
I love you guys, you crack me up every single time and at the same time I always learn something from this podcast!!
“This is a plains people thing.”
Dead.
I thought for a long time I was bi, because women are gorgeous and amazing and boobs! And thought I was simply too scared / unsure of that side of myself to act on it. But then i had a realisation one day. I have the most beautiful girl friends, but i have never once imagined what it would be like to kiss them and I've never had butterflies around them. But that has happened to me with my male friends, quite a bit. And so then I was a little disappointed to realise I'm just a boring straight person. But I still like boobs. From afar.
Alayna STILL with the Tom Holland 🤦♀️
When it's my time to go, I fully want it to be from Ashley g*nociding bisexuals! 🤣 The bisexual invisibility roasting makes me feel weirdly seen - I'm so here for it. 😆
I also agree that bi men generally have it harder. There's actually a documented pay gap for out bi men when compared to straight or gay men. There's a huge difference in my comfort level of outness and that of my husband, which says a lot. Like, he knows it would negatively impact his career and I don't have to worry about that as much. (That being said, polyamory outness is a WHOLE other thing - it's not a protected status in the US so we are both very cautious there.)
I’m bisexual and I feel like a big struggle is that it feels hard to actually come out and be out. All of the guys will see me as gay and then there’s the lesbians that hate on bisexuals and it feels like I have to pick a side. I’ve never dated a female and I know for a fact that I would but I haven’t so at this point it’s just easier to “be straight” because then I don’t have to worry about it
Oh my god, all of this bi talk becomes a lot more complicated when you are like me, knowing that I was Pan from a young age but never fully believing myself because SURPRISE I'm actually demisexual so the sexy feelings didnt come with most people. But I would have romantic or "waist up" crushes on people, just nothing sexual until I felt like I knew them and they knew me like... soul-deep.
So basically I didn't feel the sexy until I was like 21 and found my fiance, and it just so happened that he was a dude so I never really had to come out to anyone until I figured the demi out recently, 10 years later.
But if you ask how I know I am Pan: there is no situation where imagining myself with any faceless gender gives me the ick.
Alayna saying tom holland as superman guy, something I'd also say 😆😆
Don't feel bad Ashley, I'm from NY and never heard that duck lemonade thing
As a younger sister, I think both are true, the tormenting and the protecting. When we were younger, my brother teased me a LOT, but now that we're grown up, I feel like he protects and supports me more than he teases me. Or at least, the teasing now feels equal, because we're both adults.
This was a very important conversation. So glad you three are out there doing your thing like you do.❤🎉❤
Ashley bringing the real advice most of us can benefit from 👏
Alayna said "Hands down" and I heard "pants down"
Not me finding this video after wondering if I’m bi because I have the hugest crush on my girl coworker and trying to google how to tell a girl you have a crush on them LMAO😂
ashley and alayna give me strong catradora vibes from the last season of shera lmao
21:50 - you did it Alayna; you broke Ashley
The way Mak looked when Alayna said Julio was the best thing that ever happened in her life...oh broke my heart.
ok, so idk if im asking for advice, or just talking ,but anyway, im in a really weird situation where i am genderfluid and a lesbian, so when i find a man ''attractive'' i cant tell if its genuine attraction, or me wishing i looked like that as a afab person. Its caused mild confusion internally, but luckily ive kinda established that as Mak said, i can sit there and question it, but if i lay out specific things like kissing for example, im immediately like no.
I was raised and taught that fluidity is normal and natural and it was so confusing trying to figure out who I am lmao I think I'm a pansexual demi but idk whats going on with the demi part yet still. So I had no bounds with my identity but I still am confused. I accept pansexual. I have had people call me a lesbian for 13 years simply because of my partner, my reaction is always "noo no no, that's not how I identify just because of her" and now! Now she's deep into her identity journey and is drawn to she/they. We just had a discussion last week about me and how I thought I identified and was like "see! That's why I don't like labels! Cuz I don't know anymore. I think I do and then turns out I don't!"
Excited for merch! Get your passport first Mak!!!
I've got a younger sister she's actually great I've 100% gotten into fights on her behalf many many times but ive also given her so much crap over the years its great.
the way i was thinking the same thing about mak giving a presentation