THE ONLY WAY TO MEASURE YOUR D

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  • Опубліковано 26 вер 2024
  • #Flagrant2 #AndrewSchulz #PremiumPete
    Shout out to @ronthaguard on the new intro - The Army Provides
    Video by @alexxmedia
  • Комедії

КОМЕНТАРІ • 341

  • @TheSeriousCrafter
    @TheSeriousCrafter 5 років тому +1772

    "You take the batteries out of that..."
    2:05 I NEARLY DIED, GOD!!!

    • @axmedclone
      @axmedclone 5 років тому +24

      @@lurned7816 no

    • @Im_Banana_
      @Im_Banana_ 5 років тому +120

      It was a size joke
      Meaning his d is as small as a battery

    • @gomezagb
      @gomezagb 5 років тому +23

      akash k.o'd pete with that one ... im still laughin

    • @atcera8714
      @atcera8714 5 років тому +2

      Man got bathed in salf after that one

    • @Dreadheadezz
      @Dreadheadezz 5 років тому

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

  • @psychopunk8817
    @psychopunk8817 5 років тому +951

    Bruh the battle between off brand Aziz Ansari and a retired Jersey Shore cast member.

    • @ThePremiumPeteShow
      @ThePremiumPeteShow 5 років тому +3

      Psychopunk XXX 😂😂😂😂

    • @nessfinesse575
      @nessfinesse575 5 років тому +5

      That's his less famous cousin lmao

    • @robertpendergast6409
      @robertpendergast6409 5 років тому +8

      😂 your ridiculous bro ahha , Lmao its off brand Vinny

    • @negativeindustrial
      @negativeindustrial 5 років тому +12

      Ill take off-brand Aziz over standard model unfunny Aziz any day. The only time Aziz has been funny IMO was when his white knight ass got pound metoo’d

    • @fatmunch6318
      @fatmunch6318 5 років тому

      The Premium Pete Show aziz ansari isn’t funny besides for that it works out

  • @sheeesh404
    @sheeesh404 4 роки тому +180

    Should be titled "3 dudes roast insecure Italian homosexual"

  • @Vxneji
    @Vxneji 5 років тому +301

    pete tryna defend his ego, arkash defending himself and gave pete so many opportunities to drop it but pete ego wouldnt let him stop lmao

  • @jaspreetsingh953
    @jaspreetsingh953 5 років тому +899

    Am i the only one who thinks pete was a little too hurt from the burn akash delivered

    • @arlindblaze4148
      @arlindblaze4148 5 років тому +47

      Deva Ki Adaalat he felt that shit too deep!! Pause lmao

    • @Quick--
      @Quick-- 5 років тому +15

      The battery one?

    • @gomezagb
      @gomezagb 5 років тому +62

      pete tryna compare his d to a remote akash burnt him with the battery comparison akash the goat for that one LOL

    • @pilkington5658
      @pilkington5658 5 років тому +5

      He wasn't use to a group raggin on him like that

    • @Noname-bt7zp
      @Noname-bt7zp 4 роки тому

      Yes u are the only one

  • @2ndmoon
    @2ndmoon 5 років тому +388

    Loooool this was hilarious, loved it specially because of how comfortable Andrew is with his sexuality, as opposed to Pete 😂🙈

    • @jjgarcia156
      @jjgarcia156 4 роки тому +21

      Well Andrew even said in one of his stand-ups that he would try anything once. And when his buddy said he *knows* he doesn't like dick, Andrew clapped back and said "oh you KNOW? So you've tried it and made the conclusion it isn't for you? Because you can't know something until you've tried it"

    • @TheSaltyGranny
      @TheSaltyGranny 3 роки тому +1

      Who cares one way or the other. He's funny af, and he says shit all in good fun. I couldn't care any less what anyone does in their bedroom. 🤷🏼‍♀️

  • @stevegwizzle3560
    @stevegwizzle3560 5 років тому +154

    I think he's jealous or envious cause of all the attention Lisa Ann was giving Akash that day.

    • @fsmfsm9941
      @fsmfsm9941 5 років тому +19

      we all know he wants to sit on Andrew's *MOUF*

  • @Cozyboydontchill
    @Cozyboydontchill 4 роки тому +70

    “You take the batteries outta that” sent me. 😩😩😩

  • @imanuelcassama3751
    @imanuelcassama3751 5 років тому +80

    They didn't even gave him a chair 😂😂🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️

  • @solodolotrevino
    @solodolotrevino 5 років тому +389

    How is the Italian dude the quietest in the room?

  • @AveryWilde
    @AveryWilde 5 років тому +301

    Lmao sit on my mouth, I started dying when you said that

    • @XaXaYT
      @XaXaYT 5 років тому

      @@nosta5457 technically you start dying from birth.
      Don't forget that.

    • @bluev7427
      @bluev7427 5 років тому

      XaXa ooooo ahhhhh pass the joint ok?

  • @AfroPepper
    @AfroPepper 5 років тому +149

    bruhhh Andrew and Akaash r the ultimate brother from another mother :D

  • @Rodzilagunz
    @Rodzilagunz 5 років тому +299

    FFS I thought this was a tutorial....

  • @Dreww31786
    @Dreww31786 5 років тому +55

    Measuring with your throat lmfao

  • @shannonglasheen
    @shannonglasheen 5 років тому +58

    Andrew “Wait for It” Schulz

    • @absknd12
      @absknd12 5 років тому +3

      "WAUR FOR IT.. WAIT FOR ITT" 😂

  • @TheprogresBMX
    @TheprogresBMX 5 років тому +30

    I don't know if this was the intention or if other people caught it. But Andrew Shultz was the guy saying outrageously gay things and everyone blamed it on the bald guy😭🤣 actually hilarious how he can minipulated the conversation that well

  • @rouhinbiswas7958
    @rouhinbiswas7958 4 роки тому +20

    Its called friendly ragging in Indian colleges😂😂😂

  • @IsotonicSundae
    @IsotonicSundae 4 роки тому +15

    yooo, the video ended for me when mans said “you take the batteries outta that” 😭😭😭, like I could feel the burn through my screen hhahhah

  • @human705
    @human705 3 роки тому +24

    13:47 Pete legit be hatin on aakash. Andrew stood by Aakash. Mad respect.

  • @sheeesh404
    @sheeesh404 4 роки тому +5

    The voice crack "I do mMaY" 😂@8:20

  • @Nova-Rift
    @Nova-Rift 5 років тому +56

    I'M GAY, trust me that guy is me when I was in the closet. No straight man would care about a shirtless guy, but when you're trying to hide you like it, you run!

    • @user-yr7sy6ev9v
      @user-yr7sy6ev9v 4 роки тому +7

      clark whitehead yeah right that guy is so insecure if you are straight you don’t care

    • @maximeb190
      @maximeb190 4 роки тому +8

      And he's italian. Homosexuality is super taboo in their culture where family, marriage and the church are super important. There has to be a lot of repressed homosexuality... a friend of a good friend of mine could never tell his family and only realised it after 6 years with his girlfriend who he was planning to marry. :(

    • @SiddharthaPatki
      @SiddharthaPatki 4 роки тому +2

      absolutely.. the Haggard's Law - The louder and more frequent one's objections to homosexuality are, the more likely one is to be a homosexual.

    • @DonYpz
      @DonYpz 4 роки тому +1

      Siddhartha Patki Their is no science to knowing if a persons gay. It is so damn noticeable when a guy likes dick

    • @Nova-Rift
      @Nova-Rift 4 роки тому

      @Average Mo I came out when I was 24. Pretty late sadly. Are you gay to?

  • @Maria-le5jp
    @Maria-le5jp 5 років тому +60

    It's this dude a comedian? He looked like he didn't know how to react or take the gay jokes lmao

    • @fsmfsm9941
      @fsmfsm9941 5 років тому +6

      he's a podcaster, not a comedian

    • @DavidMedic447
      @DavidMedic447 3 роки тому

      We used to have basically the same conversation with new guys in the Army and they all reacted the same way.

  • @vasileiagianni5775
    @vasileiagianni5775 5 років тому +44

    I saw the title and went like "Oh no you didn't "

  • @jacobblue52
    @jacobblue52 4 роки тому +6

    Telling a joke that makes everyone laugh hysterically during these podcast must be equal to a cocaine high.

  • @Terrapin47-s8y
    @Terrapin47-s8y 4 роки тому +8

    These guys are so stupid and funny 😂 😭😭😭😭😭😭 especially Akaash and Andrew

  • @dickmullen7647
    @dickmullen7647 5 років тому +304

    Rest in peace Pete, no coming back from that roast

    • @randallgyebi978
      @randallgyebi978 5 років тому +10

      This was like watching that one guy in the whatsapp group get roasted lmao

    • @nastashou
      @nastashou 5 років тому +2

      ​@@randallgyebi978 fr i started to feel bad for Pete lmao

  • @yokonono2171
    @yokonono2171 5 років тому +39

    This was so painful to watch😂

  • @deepakkumar-uj6hq
    @deepakkumar-uj6hq 5 років тому +26

    I wish i had friend like andrew

  • @shahramcr7
    @shahramcr7 5 років тому +14

    Lmaoo this man really said Alhamdullilah Alhamdullilah

  • @sartajsinghahuja406
    @sartajsinghahuja406 5 років тому +9

    That boy got roasted So So bad 😂😂😂

  • @amoghthorave3385
    @amoghthorave3385 2 роки тому +3

    Imagine getting roasted for 16 mins straight.

  • @bakedfreshly
    @bakedfreshly 5 років тому +4

    when andrew went to take his pants off, i about dieddddd. got wayyyyy too fucking excited.

  • @DavidGarcia-vb7rl
    @DavidGarcia-vb7rl 5 років тому +2

    Lmao he goes "come., neal down tell me ur story" an then takes his shirt off.... I was dying. Im watching this drinking my coffee an spit it out cuz i couldn't stop laughing my ass of this is gold...✌

  • @wadood8700
    @wadood8700 5 років тому +9

    I love how awkward he got

  • @tymir3761
    @tymir3761 5 років тому +7

    Yo Andrew was oding 😭 them shoulder grabs woulda got me tight

  • @CheapGodiva
    @CheapGodiva 5 років тому +6

    Premium Pete is like y'all's Rich Voss.

  • @ddp7028
    @ddp7028 5 років тому +2

    He switches up on everybody for a laugh lmao

  • @drodriguez3293
    @drodriguez3293 5 років тому +18

    all indians sound like aziz?

  • @gladedextrose9898
    @gladedextrose9898 5 років тому +5

    It felt like I was waiting for the video to start the entire time

  • @abhisheksathe123
    @abhisheksathe123 4 роки тому +5

    This dude came in to make fun of akash and got ganged up by all 3 instead lmao. People who make fun of others D are the ones who are insecure about theirs.

  • @H00-
    @H00- 5 років тому +6

    I got anxiety watching this episode! Everyone’s talking at the same time

  • @desmondpeter2669
    @desmondpeter2669 5 років тому +5

    akash killed this dude

  • @theoutlet9300
    @theoutlet9300 5 років тому +6

    This ep should be renamed to roasting pete

  • @sloumanuel92
    @sloumanuel92 5 років тому +13

    Why was he going after akash. Schulz was all over him haha

  • @sheeesh404
    @sheeesh404 4 роки тому +2

    Real boys back you up LMAO

  • @jeffgillson
    @jeffgillson 3 роки тому +1

    That batteries burn was brutal.

  • @Maria-le5jp
    @Maria-le5jp 4 роки тому +6

    That guy is so sensitive about his sexuality ahhaha

  • @alexanderishere1857
    @alexanderishere1857 3 роки тому +1

    You guys tag-teamed him and mugged him so bad..... he never had a chance!! hehehehehe

  • @mask-n-gloves5280
    @mask-n-gloves5280 5 років тому +5

    This conversation is so disrespectful to Cormega.😕😔😠😡🤬

  • @rishabhsharma3908
    @rishabhsharma3908 3 роки тому +7

    9:28 was when akash told andrew to take his shirt off !

  • @brownsugarglamour
    @brownsugarglamour 5 років тому +7

    “Are these mics actually good that they can hear me?” 💀

    • @brother6379
      @brother6379 5 років тому

      I see you on every video. True fan 💪🏿🤘🏿🤘🏿

  • @delroybrockett7272
    @delroybrockett7272 5 років тому +2

    Bruh Flagrant 2 been on a roll recently keep up the good work

  • @floydian25
    @floydian25 5 років тому +2

    Pete got roasted so much

  • @SaurabhKumar-td6tx
    @SaurabhKumar-td6tx 4 роки тому +3

    Aakash's killing it as always

  • @LewChain
    @LewChain 3 роки тому +2

    Pete won't be coming back from that roast, only coming OUT
    (I'm a comedian now)

  • @nelioanderson5315
    @nelioanderson5315 5 років тому +3

    Measuring in milimeters makes it sound bigger

  • @whateverppl1229
    @whateverppl1229 5 років тому +7

    I use my arm but hey, that's just me.

  • @torontoballer12
    @torontoballer12 5 років тому +6

    Watch Andrews hand from 9:37 lol 😂 he look like a fiend

  • @BaitedTG
    @BaitedTG 4 роки тому +1

    shulz: pete's so gey
    Shulz: continuins making gay jokes

  • @singhatar0912
    @singhatar0912 5 років тому +5

    Akash got the BDE

  • @abhishekfrfr
    @abhishekfrfr 5 років тому +2

    RIP Pete 😭

  • @kyloshoren418
    @kyloshoren418 5 років тому +40

    Just because he has italians parents he thinks he can be an italian lover?

    • @kevinblack7125
      @kevinblack7125 5 років тому +4

      Wtf you weird bitch? He can love whatever culture he wants

    • @TJ-hn2hv
      @TJ-hn2hv 5 років тому

      @@kevinblack7125 if you have black parents, can you say the n word?

    • @crunch9876
      @crunch9876 5 років тому +7

      Rudrax Hem everyone can say it

    • @xgullafter9590
      @xgullafter9590 5 років тому

      @@crunch9876 yeah sure but depends on the context you use it in

    • @crunch9876
      @crunch9876 5 років тому

      xgull after exactly.
      I’m not that old younger than most on This podcast I imagine. Yet my whole life no one has had a problem with me saying it in a non negative fashion.

  • @kiddmain514
    @kiddmain514 5 років тому +3

    my guy pete said Alhamdulillah (thank god) in arabic and said it was a prayer 😂

  • @paveantelic7876
    @paveantelic7876 4 роки тому +1

    The little guy is like a indian joe pesci

  • @mskarmaa
    @mskarmaa 5 років тому +3

    😂 roltf!!!
    I can not WAIT for you to come to Houston!

  • @jeremiahdavis7904
    @jeremiahdavis7904 5 років тому +1

    This week (and every other week) a pack of Jersey brand Guidos discuss off kilter topics in hopes of understanding the world

    • @SicFromTheKush
      @SicFromTheKush 5 років тому

      That was a great joke bro. Did you learn that from another drummer?

    • @jeremiahdavis7904
      @jeremiahdavis7904 5 років тому

      As a matter of fact, i did.

  • @steveo.574
    @steveo.574 5 років тому +1

    I'm sad benders isn't on anymore, but damn do I love these clips! Lol
    Edit: I died when Andrew started taking his shirt off 😂

  • @ZebbMassiv
    @ZebbMassiv 3 роки тому +1

    If it fits in a toiletpaper roll and you can see it on the other side, it's good enough.

  • @koolaidkilla5669
    @koolaidkilla5669 5 років тому +1

    I thought he had a white shirt on before too! I had to go back to double check... it was black🤣

  • @rn2511
    @rn2511 5 років тому +3

    I played this at work and the first thing he belted out was you got 10 inches? 🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @TheAndrewSchulz
    @TheAndrewSchulz  5 років тому +5

    Stand Up Tour Dates
    06/27/19- 06/29/19 DENVER, CO COMEDY WORKS DOWNTOWN
    06/30/19 HOUSTON, TX HOUSTON IMPROV
    07/13/19 TORONTO, ON THE DANFORTH
    07/13/19 TORONTO, ON THE DANFORTH
    07/25/19 MONTREAL KATACOMBES
    07/27/19 MONTREAL KATACOMBES
    08/15/19- 08/18/19 WASHINGTON, DC WASHINGTON DC IMPROV
    08/23/19 CHICAGO, IL THALIA HALL
    09/20/19 ADELAIDE ARKABA HOTEL
    09/22/19 PERTH FREO.SOCIAL
    09/25/19 BRISBANE SIT DOWN COMEDY CLUB
    09/26/19 SYDNEY FACTORY THEATRE
    09/27/19- 09/28/19 NORTH MELBOURNE COMICS LOUNGE
    09/29/19 SYDNEY FACTORY THEATRE
    11/14/19 NORWALK, CT WALL STREET THEATER
    11/16/19 BOSTON, MA THE WILBUR THEATRE
    11/22/19 NEW YORK CITY, NY THE TOWN HALL
    12/07/19 SEATTLE, WA THE NEPTUNE THEATRE
    12/13/19 VANCOUVER, BC VOGUE THEATRE
    12/20/19- 12/21/19 PHILADELPHIA, PA HELIUM COMEDY
    01/25/20 ATLANTA, GA CENTER STAGE THEATRE

  • @waynetables6414
    @waynetables6414 2 роки тому

    "7500 Patrons" hahahahaha

  • @SullyProductionZ
    @SullyProductionZ 5 років тому +3

    Aakash on fire

  • @prakashtiwari8003
    @prakashtiwari8003 3 роки тому

    Bruh, this is gold. Lmao 🤣🤣😂🤣

  • @sheeesh404
    @sheeesh404 4 роки тому

    Y'all made this man start blubbering

  • @khaldrogo4985
    @khaldrogo4985 5 років тому +5

    Why didn't I know about this podcast funniest shit I've seen

  • @Akidnamedclavin
    @Akidnamedclavin 5 років тому +1

    They KILLED him

  • @damianzillmann7484
    @damianzillmann7484 5 років тому +5

    LOVE YOU ANDREW

  • @raynguyen8638
    @raynguyen8638 5 років тому +7

    It would be a pleasure to get roasted by Andrew Schulz in the front row

  • @Hooooojioo
    @Hooooojioo 5 років тому +2

    Damn i thought that was David Ortiz

  • @peepsi23
    @peepsi23 5 років тому +3

    They roasting tf outta pete damm 😅😅😂

  • @oscarclarke2653
    @oscarclarke2653 5 років тому +2

    I'm pushing 5.1 inches.

  • @TheSaltyGranny
    @TheSaltyGranny 3 роки тому +1

    That poor Jersey Shore background actor seemed like he wasn't accustomed to be picked on by a bunch of guys. It was all good natured, imo, but he was trying way too hard, poor guy. 🤦🏼‍♀️

  • @charleyquinnpark3653
    @charleyquinnpark3653 5 років тому +11

    lol.. at first i thought that was Paulie Malignaggi

  • @pizzapr2001
    @pizzapr2001 4 роки тому +1

    damn it aint jokes they really bout that gay life 😤

  • @UmarSharif
    @UmarSharif 5 років тому +2

    So hilarious!

  • @bvnshee6749
    @bvnshee6749 4 роки тому +2

    “And then well use it as a sandwich and eat it”😂😂😂

  • @saumaydudeja7423
    @saumaydudeja7423 4 роки тому

    Son pete was mad fucked up😂😂😂😂😂

  • @bruz1953
    @bruz1953 5 років тому +4

    Ben baller did the chain 💀

  • @jimmyman460
    @jimmyman460 5 років тому +3

    Premium double chins is more like it....
    Grow that beard out son.

  • @darkskinwhite
    @darkskinwhite 5 років тому +1

    *PREMIUM PETE*

  • @lolalolita3537
    @lolalolita3537 5 років тому +2

    Is this what guys night out is like?

    • @efiniGTX
      @efiniGTX 5 років тому

      Lola Lilac this is exactly what guys do, then go have a drink. Nothing taken to heart

  • @thunder9394
    @thunder9394 5 років тому +7

    The buble gum joke is underrated ...just cus its 1v3 , pete had to explain the joke , which ruined it

    • @jacobsenske
      @jacobsenske 5 років тому +13

      We all know this you on a phony account Pete.

    • @thunder9394
      @thunder9394 5 років тому

      @@jacobsenske U understand I pointed this joke only , cus it was the only good insult Pete had....which akash couldn't reply

    • @axmedclone
      @axmedclone 5 років тому

      @@jacobsenske 😂😂😂

  • @mannyfernandez6795
    @mannyfernandez6795 5 років тому +8

    waiting for the trident condom to drop

  • @eyobworku240
    @eyobworku240 5 років тому +1

    I love your videos, and i have grown to know them by your picture in the thumbnail, when i see that i click. No one reads the titles.

  • @sweetjello_7057
    @sweetjello_7057 5 років тому

    pete getting bullied

  • @KTS069aye
    @KTS069aye 5 років тому

    I believe ass to ass is called a "Moon landing"

  • @nimahanna1709
    @nimahanna1709 5 років тому

    Did him dirty

  • @slickvic6125
    @slickvic6125 3 роки тому

    That's regular pete for akaash

  • @Rs18-o1k
    @Rs18-o1k 4 роки тому

    Andrew need some sun😂