I've known I was autistic for years, but just got the official report yesterday. I was evaluated over and over in school and kept in special education, but they never diagnosed me because in my rural area, people thought 'autism is for boys.' I am so grateful to know now for sure.
I'm so pleased for you! Its shocking the way there is still so much dismissal of girls with autism and lots of diagnostic criterias are still prejudiced against girls. When I told this to my best friend she seemed very confused but it's something I feel I've know has always been the case. It will change, hopefully children now especially girls won't have to wait the way you did. I got my diagnosis with a group that specialise in diagnosing girls so I was very lucky
Avoiding tight clothing when going to social events has been pretty helpful to not get too overwhelmed as well as being aware of what my needs are and not being judgmental of myself if that makes sense.
I was diagnosed autistic recently, I think it’s gonna take me awhile to fully process it but something I’m interested in is how adult autistic people are different based on their childhoods, I had a very unsupportive, emotionally neglectful childhood, and I think mixed with my undiagnosed autism I have a lot more issues than I think I would’ve had if I had grown up in a better atmosphere. Anywho…. I found your channel because UA-cam recommended it before I even knew that autism was a possibility for me ha, I feel like I can relate to you a lot 👍
I was diagnosed five months ago, born with Asperger's, and it was rather cathartic for me. I can relate to your comment of a "nuture lacking" childhood..We both know it was hard to navigate not having any peers or friends let alone family. I want you to know that with time you will unravel the confusion and reach a point of a much better understanding of yourself! It may be a long journey but with time and patience it will be fulfilling!
@@johnzimpelman9018 Thanks for the encouraging words, I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember but the psychologist that diagnosed me she thinks that going into the future now that I know that I’m autistic she thinks hopefully the depression will have some relief
@@avatarcharlie I meant to say my diagnosis was 5 years ago but the journey was one of personal growth and understanding. I too had severe depression and anxiety but the medications actually made things worse. With the help of my wonderful physician and holistic therapist I no longer need them and use cognitive behavior exercises to help with overstimulation and regulation. Like you Taylor, music has been essential in my life and I have been playing guitar fur several years and I am contemplating playing drums as well. My stimming is listening and "dissecting" music which keeps me "centered." The hardest problem is navigating interactions with people, my experiences have been transactional, and finding genuineness in them!
I realized I could watch anything from you, as I love to spend time "in your energy". Is that a weird thing to say... hope not. You make me feel calmer.
I haven’t been formally diagnosed and I go back and forth between thinking I’m autistic or just ADHD (maybe, like you, it’s both). But regardless of the diagnoses, watching your videos has helped be to cope with my sensory issues and communicate my needs. I realize it really doesn’t matter what the diagnoses is as long as I’m listening to my body and brain. Watching you learn how to care for yourself is helping me to do the same. I appreciate you and I’m a fellow Texan! :) ITS HOT AS HELL DOWN HERE
I have ADHD and ASD both. I've always characterised it as being caught between neophilia and neophobia. It can be hard to work out which is in control from moment to moment.
@@Dancestar1981 Ditto! Which causes you the most day to day issues? - not meaning to pry. Going through some 💩 myself with these and recent dx. It is all a complicated, ever-evolving swirl of each for me. As I collect "letters" they each add another level of awareness/trauma. Still working on the acceptance bit. 😕
This video was so calming to listen to. I would join you for coffee but I'm watching this at 1am. Glad to hear you're navigating life well and I hope you have a great day
I enjoyed this video, today. I like watching UA-cam videos and sometimes the energy is just too much. This video has a nice sense of calm and I enjoyed just listening to you share your thoughts and ideas. Much appreciated.
So many great insights in this video- I’ve been paying a lot more attention to my body’s cues (especially when I start feeling stressed), and have had some good conversations with my husband and kids about what I’m learning/what would be helpful in the future. Also- holding others’ emotions 😑 That’s such a hard thing, but it helps so much to realize that I’m doing it! Thanks again for your videos! ❤
These videos are super helpful, thanks so much. I am an an autistic adult myself, and it really helps me learn more about myself as well as teaching me another perspective learning from someone else with autism. Keep up the amazing work, and I look forward to seeing more videos on your channel. I highly value your creative thinking when you have videos that teach all of the different aspects of autism.
I gave up social media several years ago when my children were young because I realized I was constantly overwhelmed but recently my therapist encouraged me to find other autistic adults on social media. I finally sought diagnoses after I having two children (6 and 7) diagnosed on the spectrum. I received an ADHD diagnosis at 29 and an Autism spectrum diagnosis at 30. All this to say I decided this was the year I would focus on learning more about myself and my needs. This video was wonderful. I love your stream of consciousness and it’s relaxing to listen to and relatable. You gave me several ideas to try to implement. 💗
This summer is flying by for me too! We had a family trip to the zoo today. It was hot and there were lots of people there. My son was getting a bit overwhelmed but we got through it with no meltdowns! Take care Taylor, great topic! ❤️
Yes to picking up on other people's emotions. I do it with the kids--but my mom and I are literally *the worst* about that. We've literally spent all weekend butting heads, misinterpreting each other, and feeling frustrated. And she's supposed to come over and help me and the kids go school shopping today. 😢 Making hot herbal tea now in an effort to calm down. Thanks for the reminder. Also: water is very calming for me too.
I feel like it takes so much work to tend to my sensory needs, I'm still working on it. It makes such a difference and yet I still fall into bouts of forgetting or failing to be proactive. It's so hard!
Overtime, caffeine became problematic for me, it enhances my sensitivity and the stimulation has serious downfalls, so I switched to MUD/WTR which is a beverage made from a small amount of black tea, some chocolate powder, and healthy mushrooms. I highly recommend it. Thank you for the work that you are doing, I just discovered your channel and it is very helpful to me. I was diagnosed at age 55 and it was such a revelation.
This is a great video!,I can really relate to everything you’re saying. I think you should do more coffee talks. Love the cup, I have one as well,in fact our coffee and tea mugs are mostly Starbucks cups from places we’ve traveled.
Thank you for this video. I'm figuring out my own small hacks for trying to head off sensory overload and hearing yours is helpful. I also really appreciate your realism and focus on being grateful that they worked this one time. I struggle with that and it's good to hear other people struggling with it too.
This was really nice. I learned more about coffee too. My husband and I are not coffee drinkers so we don't have a ☕ maker as well. I tend to get real sleepy afterward but I think that is one of my coping tendincies when feeling overwhelmed.
One of my special interests is coffee! I was a barista for 5 years and I learned a lot and just wanted to say that if your husband likes the Chemex he might like the V60 even more! Cheers ❤
Love this so much! I think I also don't realise how much things (like sound) are getting to me and don't realise the toll til later. It's all very new to me being late diagnosis at 37 this year and have chronic fatigue syndrome (connected, I'm wondering?!) So it's really helpful to learn about these things and help me realise what things take more energy and a greater toll on my system and how to navigate that and support myself to not be overdoing it all the time. Also Love what you were saying about allowing energy to move through, I really believe this too. Thank you beautiful soul and nice one manifesting a cat haha I had the exact same reaction as you did hehe! I so appreciate you and your videos, you've helped me so much, thank you 🙏💖
Hi Taylor, I appreciate you and have learned so much from your content. I am undiagnosed but do believe I am on the spectrum, and I am going through a very severe depressive episode, as I struggle with an eating disorder and other mental issues. I wanted to say that although I am not able to find motivation to keep going, this video gave me such a sense of reassurance and comfort in knowing that you are succeeding in navigating your own challenges. I’m sorry for the ramble but it is just the only thing that has brought me a feeling of neutrality, I hope you continue to have a good day
Hi wren. Thank you for your vulnerability and I’m sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time. I know in dark times (I’ve had my fair share) it can be hard to remember who you are or that this won’t last forever. You seem like a kind and caring person and it makes me sad to know you are hurting. I don’t know if this helps but I’ve noticed in my own life that those low lows are many times followed by high highs. Kind of a “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction” kind of thing. Please take care of yourself. Get outside if you can and stay hydrated. Sending love.
Here it goes, my first comment ever. I absolutely love your videos! Thank you! Ive recently been processing going for a diagnosis, learning more about myself and what my needs are. I’d say last year was when I had my lightbulb moment, I had gone through a rough period of burnout and meltdowns and just didn’t understand what was wrong my whole life. I realized treatment and medication for depression just wasn’t addressing the actual problem. It’s been helpful to see that there are other people out there that can relate.
Good morning Taylor! Great coffee chat. I too love my noise cancelling headphones. They have really changed my life. I am finally learning to chill more as well. I still have meltdowns but they are much less frequent. Glad you are finding peace.
This was a really helpful video. It was satisfying to listen to all the little things that added up to keep you in the clear mentally and physiologically. I’m trying to implement this kind of approach in my busy times too.
I LOVE it! It can be so relaxing to just get a glimpse into your everyday life over a cup of coffee. BTW, I used to drink tea almost exclusively. I love coffee but it used to be a rare treat. Now that I have three kids, I've switched to drinking coffee every morning 😂. RE: New York. I got engaged in New York, the only time I've been there. So I love it, too. I'm totally a city girl. I need a low hum of city noises in order to feel comfortable. If there's too little noise, the under-stimulation is horrible. Speak of the cat and the cat will appear. I've had a meltdown-y sort of weekend. An off-hand critical remark my dad made last Thursday triggered me. It was unbelievable. I thought I was okay but then I woke up Friday morning and found out I wasn't. Does anyone else find that you can wake up angry? Anyway, I've been on edge ever since, and some other things happened like my nine-year-old had a nosebleed and my four-year-old got his head stuck in the door (we put a chain on it to prevent him from running out into the front yard without our knowing. Turns out, he can still get his body through just not his head). I had to turn down a family dinner in a restaurant to celebrate my parents' recent wedding anniversary. I've been trying to keep myself wrapped in a cocoon of my favourite special interest (fiction writing). And I hope to be back to business as usual soon 😊
wow lots going on! Yes I find that sometimes I wake up angry or that I already have a full stream of conscious line of thoughts coming in almost before I wake up. exhausting! so cool about your engagement story :)
Oh my word. I'm sorry. I am glad to hear that I'm not the only one who has extended meltdown periods triggered by criticism or (for me) confrontation. I hope you feel better!
I love your content. I just watched your clip about "if you know you know" kinda thing for self-diagnosis. Thank you for that! Of course I've obsessively researched! Haha. One thing that stood out to me was when you mentioned taking on personality traits as a flavor of the week sort of thing. Do you have other videos going deeper into that aspect or other resources that do? I am constantly looking at things through a lens of what book I recently read or movie I've watched or person I listened to. So I tend to answer personality tests the same I think. More info on this would be appreciated, if you've got it. Thanks again for your content!
This was my favorite video from you in a long time ❤ I love hearing your insights into everyday situations and managing. New York is one of my special interests btw. Also, I'm pisces too!
It's really nice to hear you are having a better time with meltdowns, I am going to try some of this stuff to see if it works. I like hot tea, maybe I'll start there. I hadn't considered comfortable clothes but it is a really good idea. Also, the idea of playing a bit more of an absent game while somebody is over is genius I should give that a shot. I relate to the getting frustrated or angry along with people that are close to me, that is something I really need to get better with since it really isn't my business so cheers to that. Sorry if I rambled a bit, this video is quite good and it spoke to me like much of your other content does.
Hi Tay, I love this Porch Coffee video - Indoor Edition. It's like a lovely chat with a dear friend. According to me, 100F is amazing, I love hot weather, especially all year long. I'm still struggling with bureaucracy for my legal recognition of my level 2 autism. I think I have to fight for one or two years (or even more).
I'm lucky to have always had fairly easy access to the arts and culture of NYC. The pandemic brought all of that to a halt, as it also brought an end to my career as an architect a few years earlier than I had planned. Now, with everything coming back, I've cut back on those cultural activities, partly because of a still present risk of illness, and partly for financial reasons. I had a somewhat ambiguous diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome by a psychotherapist some years ago, but it's just in recent days, watching video channels like this, that I started to identify as being autistic.
About to go on a road trip and feeling that "pre-overwhelm" but I'm pretty sure everything is ready to go. Hoping to enjoy driving without any meltdowns!
I loved this! I really don't know if I'm autistic or not (most professionals don't seem to think so), but I really resonate with the experience nevertheless, and it was just interesting and validating to hear you just talk about your weekend and how you're doing. God. Why does everything have to be so hard to explain to people?! 💜 All the best! :))
Love the shout out to the Woodshed Theory Porch Coffee community! Also liked the informal style that W/T does so well too. It is nice to feel like its just a chat/catch-up, especially when it is hard for some of us to do so IRL. Thank you for the life tips as well. Always useful to find new and healthier ways to deal with emotional dysregulation. Hope it gets cooler for us all soon, also baking hot over in EU. 🥵
From the state you are in in this video (if i read the vibes correctly) I personally often go into a shutdown. This state of calm waters in the mind is mostly a sign of exhaustion for me. It is not negative, but it is a warning sign to get into a shelter and rest before it will get to difficult to swim.
Loving that your house doesn't have drip coffee cause in Australia it isn't a thing (even McDonald's got rid of it years ago and that was the only place that you ever saw it). People either drink instant or from beans (these days lots of people have pod coffee too).
Undiagnosed but very much suspected to be on the spectrum. My daughter is going to be evaluated & that's what put it on my radar. I'm trying to shift my view into what's realistic & works for me. I've always thought there would be a perfect formula & I would find it in adulthood. I didn't think it would be a formula of my own design. Working on it though. It has helped IMMENSELY to find women on the spectrum with whom I could easily identify. Thanks for your channel!
There's a rule never say dress casual unless you want me to come like I am going to the beach casual. I work in phone customer care for a bank. It's a challenge not to let their emotions affect me
If you can handle snow the Upper Peninsula of Michigan on the shores of Lake Superior is a great place for the water loving ASD Pisces. I am as yet undiagnosed, but I am also Pisces and growing up here and living here is amazing. Provided you’re not fond of large cities, you like trees, wildlife and outdoor activities and want to actually experience all 4 seasons in all of their glory this is a good place for it. Crime rate is low because “insert 3 letter word that starts with G ends with N and has a U in the middle and UA-cam doesn’t like when we talk about thems” ownership is high and most of the Yoopers are pretty darn friendly. (Yooper is what people who are born and raised in the upper peninsula call themselves). Big lakes and little lakes, rivers and streams we have a lot of bodies of water to enjoy.
I am having time finding someone who will test me or trying to figure out if my insurance will cover it. I have gotten so many mixed messages, it is so frustrating.
The process can be frustrating for sure. You may want to check out Spectrus Psych or Northern Colorado Assessment center for a trustworthy place for evaluations! Also embrace-autism.com
Hi, I really hope you see this comment. I really would like it if you would make a video talking about how you and your husband navigate communication especially when it comes to an issue or a need not being met, or a support need not being met….my husband and I have a lot of difficulties because my way of communicating about issues can seem quite harsh…..and this can often lead to an argument….any advice would be awesome!!!!
1. I love that you love NYC but oof I do not! I was there three years ago for a wedding in Manhattan and my impressions were really just “these building are TOO TALL” and “the water is TOO CLOSE TO THE ROAD” and most of all “wow Times Square is the WORST get me out of here!!!” So honestly, I probably should have suspected autism a long time ago 🙃 2. The Great Lakes region is a great place if you like bodies of water but don’t like hurricanes! I’m in Cleveland and it’s great because it’s still a big-ish city but the buildings aren’t too tall, it has a great theatre district but none of the actual Broadway or Times Square (lol), and best of all I can afford things like bread and parking and a house. Thanks for another great video! I’ve found your channel to be very helpful and comforting the past few months as I explore the possibility (…the high probability) that I’m autistic. I have a few videos of yours saved so I can show my husband.
Interesting. I can’t tolerate caffeine at all. I’m autistic and prescribed medicinal cannabis at roughly 3 times the normal dose and it allows me to function pretty well. But I can’t even have a single cup of coffee without having serious physical and psychological side effects. I’ve heard other autistics say that they have atypical reactions to various substances. Some of us can be very dose sensitive to some substances while others are needing unusually high doses of medications for it to be effective. Studies suggest we may metabolise differently. Lol. No coffee for me, lol, but I hope you enjoy yours 😊✌️💕
My son who's 4 is a Pisces too, write on the cusp to Aries. I love water too though and I'm a Gemini on the cusp between Taurus, according to Vedic I'm a taurus
See? And that's the weird thing I feel too, I'm suspected autistic (score of 150) and I still seem to enjoy NYC's hustle and bustle because there's a strange happy feeling of nobody will recognize me out of a crowd or if they do I might never be seen again anyway 😊
Have you considered closed captioning instead of open captioning, so that those who find captioning distracting can shut it off and those who need captioning as an accommodation can turn it on? I find it very difficult to concentrate on what you’re saying with the captions on. Keep up the good content, BTW. I appreciate the hard work you put into maintaining the channel.
I don’t know much about this but I can look into it! I know you can manually turn off the captions in the bottom right of the screen. Thanks for your comment!
Okay so I need to just say how relatable the cooking issue is but on the opposite end. I tend to cook with the expectaction that the food will be ready by the time everyone arrives and we will just immediately sit down. The fact that people don't arrive exactly on time and then want to chit chat every time confuses me
📚book recommendations! “The Body Keeps Score” by Bessel van der Kolk and “Redefining Anxiety” by Dr.John Deloney… recommend both books to learn about relation to our bodies and stress/trauma/anxiety! #actuallyautistic
What ear buds do you use? Special ones so you can still hear others when talking to you or? I sleep with custom made ear buds, but I wouldn’t be able to have a conversation with them on. I really want to dim down the world when I am at events, but having my noise canceling headphones doesn’t work 😂 because people expect me to socialize (mostly bday parties, I hate them btw 😅)
I'm not sure if she still uses Flare earbuds, but they're fantastic. A friend of mine has a pair and he let me try them for a few hours, and I love them! So, I'm going to get a pair when I can 👍
Does anyone have any advice for taking on other peoples emotions? I do this often and then feel that feeling usually longer than the original person does which is really hard. It also means ive been used before as a “therapist” for long periods of time because I felt how they felt, which meant I could say the right things, which has been ultimately very harmful for me. Sorry if I have missed a comment already saying this, I tried to skim read them all. Thank you!
@@Dancestar1981 I love your name for it! Yeah that seems to be the only thing that works, but unfortunate I am still in an academic setting for most of the year as well as a part time job which can make it a bit difficult. Thank you very much nonetheless
Hi! This can be a challenging situation that is different for everyone. Many times taking on other people’s emotions can be a coping mechanism we pick up from childhood (not saying this is what is happening with you because I don’t know your situation!) but for me, therapy has helped and also yoga where I focus on the sensations in my own body - learning where I end and where other people begin. Sounds maybe a little woo but it is a tremendously helpful practice. You may also want to learn more about codependency and see if that resonates with you. And practice identifying your own wants and needs and expressing them. 💞
I used to do that as well. getting better at setting boundaries helps a lot. I took Julia kristinas classes- if you like her youtube videos, I can recommend the membership program. best wishes
I really enjoy stretchy compression material that fully covers my stomach. I also enjoy leggings, hate dresses, material has to be super soft and not itchy. I generally don't like to wear anything that needs to be ironed.
i currently starting to think about getting a formal autism diagnosis but as a late teen wanting to go into the medical field there are a few more things to think about in terms of the future. the conversion is barely starting but i dont really know. any advise? i think the main advantage would be getting accommodations in exams but other than that i cant really know.
I've known I was autistic for years, but just got the official report yesterday.
I was evaluated over and over in school and kept in special education, but they never diagnosed me because in my rural area, people thought 'autism is for boys.'
I am so grateful to know now for sure.
Congratulations! I am recently diagnosed too. It’s so hard to get evaluated as an adult
I also got diagnosed this month as an adult 👍
I'm so pleased for you!
Its shocking the way there is still so much dismissal of girls with autism and lots of diagnostic criterias are still prejudiced against girls. When I told this to my best friend she seemed very confused but it's something I feel I've know has always been the case. It will change, hopefully children now especially girls won't have to wait the way you did. I got my diagnosis with a group that specialise in diagnosing girls so I was very lucky
Avoiding tight clothing when going to social events has been pretty helpful to not get too overwhelmed as well as being aware of what my needs are and not being judgmental of myself if that makes sense.
makes total sense!
I am the same way.
I was diagnosed autistic recently, I think it’s gonna take me awhile to fully process it but something I’m interested in is how adult autistic people are different based on their childhoods, I had a very unsupportive, emotionally neglectful childhood, and I think mixed with my undiagnosed autism I have a lot more issues than I think I would’ve had if I had grown up in a better atmosphere. Anywho…. I found your channel because UA-cam recommended it before I even knew that autism was a possibility for me ha, I feel like I can relate to you a lot 👍
glad you're here! Thanks for your comment
I was diagnosed five months ago, born with Asperger's, and it was rather cathartic for me. I can relate to your comment of a "nuture lacking" childhood..We both know it was hard to navigate not having any peers or friends let alone family. I want you to know that with time you will unravel the confusion and reach a point of a much better understanding of yourself! It may be a long journey but with time and patience it will be fulfilling!
@@johnzimpelman9018 Thanks for the encouraging words, I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember but the psychologist that diagnosed me she thinks that going into the future now that I know that I’m autistic she thinks hopefully the depression will have some relief
@@avatarcharlie I meant to say my diagnosis was 5 years ago but the journey was one of personal growth and understanding. I too had severe depression and anxiety but the medications actually made things worse. With the help of my wonderful physician and holistic therapist I no longer need them and use cognitive behavior exercises to help with overstimulation and regulation. Like you Taylor, music has been essential in my life and I have been playing guitar fur several years and I am contemplating playing drums as well. My stimming is listening and "dissecting" music which keeps me "centered." The hardest problem is navigating interactions with people, my experiences have been transactional, and finding genuineness in them!
We often go through trauma in our childhood and it makes it much more difficult for us it did for me
I realized I could watch anything from you, as I love to spend time "in your energy". Is that a weird thing to say... hope not. You make me feel calmer.
I haven’t been formally diagnosed and I go back and forth between thinking I’m autistic or just ADHD (maybe, like you, it’s both). But regardless of the diagnoses, watching your videos has helped be to cope with my sensory issues and communicate my needs. I realize it really doesn’t matter what the diagnoses is as long as I’m listening to my body and brain. Watching you learn how to care for yourself is helping me to do the same. I appreciate you and I’m a fellow Texan! :) ITS HOT AS HELL DOWN HERE
🔥☠️
I have both
I have ADHD and ASD both. I've always characterised it as being caught between neophilia and neophobia. It can be hard to work out which is in control from moment to moment.
@@smicketysmoo I have both ASD 1 and ADHD Inattentive along with Anxiety, Depression, PTSD and RSD
@@Dancestar1981 Ditto! Which causes you the most day to day issues? - not meaning to pry. Going through some 💩 myself with these and recent dx.
It is all a complicated, ever-evolving swirl of each for me. As I collect "letters" they each add another level of awareness/trauma. Still working on the acceptance bit. 😕
Giving ourselves permission! Hey well done! No meltdown!👍👏👏🎉
How to cope when friends who you really love come to the house but it’s so draining and they over-stay 🥺
Oh
This video was so calming to listen to. I would join you for coffee but I'm watching this at 1am. Glad to hear you're navigating life well and I hope you have a great day
Thank you Grace! Hope you have a great day too. :)
I love the chat about energy, I think about things that way too.
glad I'm not the only one!
Pre overwhelm is definitely a thing for me too
I enjoyed this video, today. I like watching UA-cam videos and sometimes the energy is just too much. This video has a nice sense of calm and I enjoyed just listening to you share your thoughts and ideas. Much appreciated.
So many great insights in this video- I’ve been paying a lot more attention to my body’s cues (especially when I start feeling stressed), and have had some good conversations with my husband and kids about what I’m learning/what would be helpful in the future. Also- holding others’ emotions 😑 That’s such a hard thing, but it helps so much to realize that I’m doing it! Thanks again for your videos! ❤
I'm still laughing about the automated closed captions for "woodshed theory" being generated as "Wichita theory" and "witch hat theory" XD
haha didn't even notice this. I bet claire will love that.
🤣
I got the "Witch hat" one too, but having the volume muted, didn't even notice mistranslation before reading this comment 😅
These videos are super helpful, thanks so much. I am an an autistic adult myself, and it really helps me learn more about myself as well as teaching me another perspective learning from someone else with autism. Keep up the amazing work, and I look forward to seeing more videos on your channel. I highly value your creative thinking when you have videos that teach all of the different aspects of autism.
Thanks so much, Nolan!
I am glad to be a subscriber of your channel Taylor 😊. You definitely make great points and I love ❤️ your livestreams. Please keep doing it.
Thanks so much friend
@@MomontheSpectrum you are very welcome 🙏
Man so many little gems in this chat, I feel like we were actually on a coffee date together. Sending love!
thank you! sending some back to you
Really loved this more casual video. Hope you make more of these💗
Thanks for the feedback!
I gave up social media several years ago when my children were young because I realized I was constantly overwhelmed but recently my therapist encouraged me to find other autistic adults on social media. I finally sought diagnoses after I having two children (6 and 7) diagnosed on the spectrum. I received an ADHD diagnosis at 29 and an Autism spectrum diagnosis at 30.
All this to say I decided this was the year I would focus on learning more about myself and my needs.
This video was wonderful. I love your stream of consciousness and it’s relaxing to listen to and relatable.
You gave me several ideas to try to implement. 💗
Thanks so much for your comment and sharing your experience here! Sounds like you’ve been learning a lot lately. 💓
“Skilled in ways with coffee.”
Sounds like a barista to me.
Haha pretty much!
This summer is flying by for me too! We had a family trip to the zoo today. It was hot and there were lots of people there. My son was getting a bit overwhelmed but we got through it with no meltdowns! Take care Taylor, great topic! ❤️
Yes to picking up on other people's emotions. I do it with the kids--but my mom and I are literally *the worst* about that. We've literally spent all weekend butting heads, misinterpreting each other, and feeling frustrated. And she's supposed to come over and help me and the kids go school shopping today. 😢
Making hot herbal tea now in an effort to calm down. Thanks for the reminder. Also: water is very calming for me too.
Oh yes, I had a therapist who brought a tabletop fountain into our sessions, because it helped me relax and open up faster.
I feel like it takes so much work to tend to my sensory needs, I'm still working on it. It makes such a difference and yet I still fall into bouts of forgetting or failing to be proactive. It's so hard!
Overtime, caffeine became problematic for me, it enhances my sensitivity and the stimulation has serious downfalls, so I switched to MUD/WTR which is a beverage made from a small amount of black tea, some chocolate powder, and healthy mushrooms. I highly recommend it. Thank you for the work that you are doing, I just discovered your channel and it is very helpful to me. I was diagnosed at age 55 and it was such a revelation.
You’re welcome. And thank you for your comment. I’ve seen MUD/WTR around but haven’t tried it yet.
This was a great video, thanks. I’m a coffee snob too!! 💕
what's your preferred method of making a cup of coffee? :)
@@MomontheSpectrum French press. I’ve never done MCT oil though, have to try that!
This is a great video!,I can really relate to everything you’re saying. I think you should do more coffee talks. Love the cup, I have one as well,in fact our coffee and tea mugs are mostly Starbucks cups from places we’ve traveled.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I will definitely consider more of them in the future. :)
@@MomontheSpectrum thanks!,have a great day!
Thank you for this video. I'm figuring out my own small hacks for trying to head off sensory overload and hearing yours is helpful. I also really appreciate your realism and focus on being grateful that they worked this one time. I struggle with that and it's good to hear other people struggling with it too.
This was really nice. I learned more about coffee too. My husband and I are not coffee drinkers so we don't have a ☕ maker as well. I tend to get real sleepy afterward but I think that is one of my coping tendincies when feeling overwhelmed.
Hi Jas! Thanks for your comment.
I, on the other hand absolutely cannot drink coffee after 1 pm if I want to sleep that night. I am more of a tea drinker.
One of my special interests is coffee! I was a barista for 5 years and I learned a lot and just wanted to say that if your husband likes the Chemex he might like the V60 even more! Cheers ❤
mmmm haven't heard of the V60 but I bet he has... I'll have to ask him about it. Thanks!
Love this so much! I think I also don't realise how much things (like sound) are getting to me and don't realise the toll til later. It's all very new to me being late diagnosis at 37 this year and have chronic fatigue syndrome (connected, I'm wondering?!) So it's really helpful to learn about these things and help me realise what things take more energy and a greater toll on my system and how to navigate that and support myself to not be overdoing it all the time. Also Love what you were saying about allowing energy to move through, I really believe this too. Thank you beautiful soul and nice one manifesting a cat haha I had the exact same reaction as you did hehe! I so appreciate you and your videos, you've helped me so much, thank you 🙏💖
Hi Annie! Thanks so much for your kind comment.
Hi Taylor, I appreciate you and have learned so much from your content. I am undiagnosed but do believe I am on the spectrum, and I am going through a very severe depressive episode, as I struggle with an eating disorder and other mental issues. I wanted to say that although I am not able to find motivation to keep going, this video gave me such a sense of reassurance and comfort in knowing that you are succeeding in navigating your own challenges. I’m sorry for the ramble but it is just the only thing that has brought me a feeling of neutrality, I hope you continue to have a good day
Hi wren. Thank you for your vulnerability and I’m sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time. I know in dark times (I’ve had my fair share) it can be hard to remember who you are or that this won’t last forever. You seem like a kind and caring person and it makes me sad to know you are hurting. I don’t know if this helps but I’ve noticed in my own life that those low lows are many times followed by high highs. Kind of a “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction” kind of thing. Please take care of yourself. Get outside if you can and stay hydrated. Sending love.
Here it goes, my first comment ever. I absolutely love your videos! Thank you! Ive recently been processing going for a diagnosis, learning more about myself and what my needs are. I’d say last year was when I had my lightbulb moment, I had gone through a rough period of burnout and meltdowns and just didn’t understand what was wrong my whole life. I realized treatment and medication for depression just wasn’t addressing the actual problem. It’s been helpful to see that there are other people out there that can relate.
Good morning Taylor! Great coffee chat. I too love my noise cancelling headphones. They have really changed my life. I am finally learning to chill more as well. I still have meltdowns but they are much less frequent. Glad you are finding peace.
☮️🧘♀️🙏 thanks friend
Oh man, I felt like this whole thing %100
This was a really helpful video. It was satisfying to listen to all the little things that added up to keep you in the clear mentally and physiologically. I’m trying to implement this kind of approach in my busy times too.
I LOVE it! It can be so relaxing to just get a glimpse into your everyday life over a cup of coffee. BTW, I used to drink tea almost exclusively. I love coffee but it used to be a rare treat. Now that I have three kids, I've switched to drinking coffee every morning 😂. RE: New York. I got engaged in New York, the only time I've been there. So I love it, too. I'm totally a city girl. I need a low hum of city noises in order to feel comfortable. If there's too little noise, the under-stimulation is horrible.
Speak of the cat and the cat will appear.
I've had a meltdown-y sort of weekend. An off-hand critical remark my dad made last Thursday triggered me. It was unbelievable. I thought I was okay but then I woke up Friday morning and found out I wasn't. Does anyone else find that you can wake up angry? Anyway, I've been on edge ever since, and some other things happened like my nine-year-old had a nosebleed and my four-year-old got his head stuck in the door (we put a chain on it to prevent him from running out into the front yard without our knowing. Turns out, he can still get his body through just not his head). I had to turn down a family dinner in a restaurant to celebrate my parents' recent wedding anniversary. I've been trying to keep myself wrapped in a cocoon of my favourite special interest (fiction writing). And I hope to be back to business as usual soon 😊
wow lots going on! Yes I find that sometimes I wake up angry or that I already have a full stream of conscious line of thoughts coming in almost before I wake up. exhausting! so cool about your engagement story :)
I'm sorry to hear that SueAnne. I'm sending you e-hugs! 💞
Oh my word. I'm sorry. I am glad to hear that I'm not the only one who has extended meltdown periods triggered by criticism or (for me) confrontation. I hope you feel better!
@@esm1817 😊
@@whitneymason406 Thanks,. Whitney!
I love your content. I just watched your clip about "if you know you know" kinda thing for self-diagnosis. Thank you for that! Of course I've obsessively researched! Haha.
One thing that stood out to me was when you mentioned taking on personality traits as a flavor of the week sort of thing. Do you have other videos going deeper into that aspect or other resources that do? I am constantly looking at things through a lens of what book I recently read or movie I've watched or person I listened to. So I tend to answer personality tests the same I think. More info on this would be appreciated, if you've got it. Thanks again for your content!
This was my favorite video from you in a long time ❤ I love hearing your insights into everyday situations and managing. New York is one of my special interests btw. Also, I'm pisces too!
♓️ 🐟
It's really nice to hear you are having a better time with meltdowns, I am going to try some of this stuff to see if it works. I like hot tea, maybe I'll start there. I hadn't considered comfortable clothes but it is a really good idea. Also, the idea of playing a bit more of an absent game while somebody is over is genius I should give that a shot. I relate to the getting frustrated or angry along with people that are close to me, that is something I really need to get better with since it really isn't my business so cheers to that.
Sorry if I rambled a bit, this video is quite good and it spoke to me like much of your other content does.
Thanks so much for your comment!
Hi Tay, I love this Porch Coffee video - Indoor Edition. It's like a lovely chat with a dear friend. According to me, 100F is amazing, I love hot weather, especially all year long. I'm still struggling with bureaucracy for my legal recognition of my level 2 autism. I think I have to fight for one or two years (or even more).
That sounds exhausting pass! And also - wow! You like hot weather? I will trade you!
I'm lucky to have always had fairly easy access to the arts and culture of NYC. The pandemic brought all of that to a halt, as it also brought an end to my career as an architect a few years earlier than I had planned. Now, with everything coming back, I've cut back on those cultural activities, partly because of a still present risk of illness, and partly for financial reasons. I had a somewhat ambiguous diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome by a psychotherapist some years ago, but it's just in recent days, watching video channels like this, that I started to identify as being autistic.
About to go on a road trip and feeling that "pre-overwhelm" but I'm pretty sure everything is ready to go. Hoping to enjoy driving without any meltdowns!
A good playlist is always helpful for me!
Sister Pisces here! But I'm now landlocked in rural central/southern Vermont. But it definitely has its beauty 💜
I loved this! I really don't know if I'm autistic or not (most professionals don't seem to think so), but I really resonate with the experience nevertheless, and it was just interesting and validating to hear you just talk about your weekend and how you're doing. God. Why does everything have to be so hard to explain to people?! 💜 All the best! :))
Thanks Steffalino!
You make a great yoga/mindfulness coach
Thanks!
Its interesting that you say cooking for other people is stressful. I love cooking for other people, I get stressed just cooking for myself.
Love the shout out to the Woodshed Theory Porch Coffee community! Also liked the informal style that W/T does so well too. It is nice to feel like its just a chat/catch-up, especially when it is hard for some of us to do so IRL.
Thank you for the life tips as well. Always useful to find new and healthier ways to deal with emotional dysregulation.
Hope it gets cooler for us all soon, also baking hot over in EU. 🥵
On an unrelated note, I love the creaking of your chair. I don’t know why but it’s a nice sound to me. 😄
❤️❤️❤️
From the state you are in in this video (if i read the vibes correctly) I personally often go into a shutdown. This state of calm waters in the mind is mostly a sign of exhaustion for me. It is not negative, but it is a warning sign to get into a shelter and rest before it will get to difficult to swim.
Yall should also try a percolator. I really enjoy the taste of the coffee from those☕
mm ok thanks for the suggestion!
With hosting I nearly always do help yourself salads with jacket potatoes and bought posh pudding!
Loving that your house doesn't have drip coffee cause in Australia it isn't a thing (even McDonald's got rid of it years ago and that was the only place that you ever saw it). People either drink instant or from beans (these days lots of people have pod coffee too).
We love a French press!
☕️
We *ARE* pretty cool! 💜😁👍
Undiagnosed but very much suspected to be on the spectrum. My daughter is going to be evaluated & that's what put it on my radar. I'm trying to shift my view into what's realistic & works for me. I've always thought there would be a perfect formula & I would find it in adulthood. I didn't think it would be a formula of my own design. Working on it though. It has helped IMMENSELY to find women on the spectrum with whom I could easily identify. Thanks for your channel!
Hi Becky! You’re welcome and thank you for your comment. My kids’ autism is what pointed me in this direction as well. Sending good vibes your way!
There's a rule never say dress casual unless you want me to come like I am going to the beach casual. I work in phone customer care for a bank. It's a challenge not to let their emotions affect me
If you can handle snow the Upper Peninsula of Michigan on the shores of Lake Superior is a great place for the water loving ASD Pisces. I am as yet undiagnosed, but I am also Pisces and growing up here and living here is amazing. Provided you’re not fond of large cities, you like trees, wildlife and outdoor activities and want to actually experience all 4 seasons in all of their glory this is a good place for it. Crime rate is low because “insert 3 letter word that starts with G ends with N and has a U in the middle and UA-cam doesn’t like when we talk about thems” ownership is high and most of the Yoopers are pretty darn friendly. (Yooper is what people who are born and raised in the upper peninsula call themselves). Big lakes and little lakes, rivers and streams we have a lot of bodies of water to enjoy.
I am having time finding someone who will test me or trying to figure out if my insurance will cover it. I have gotten so many mixed messages, it is so frustrating.
The process can be frustrating for sure. You may want to check out Spectrus Psych or Northern Colorado Assessment center for a trustworthy place for evaluations! Also embrace-autism.com
Interesting, wearing stress in the hip, never heard that before :)
Thanks for the video! Also side note on audio, it's very very low.
Thank you for the feedback! Just got some new equipment and still figuring it out. Appreciate it!
Hi, I really hope you see this comment. I really would like it if you would make a video talking about how you and your husband navigate communication especially when it comes to an issue or a need not being met, or a support need not being met….my husband and I have a lot of difficulties because my way of communicating about issues can seem quite harsh…..and this can often lead to an argument….any advice would be awesome!!!!
1. I love that you love NYC but oof I do not! I was there three years ago for a wedding in Manhattan and my impressions were really just “these building are TOO TALL” and “the water is TOO CLOSE TO THE ROAD” and most of all “wow Times Square is the WORST get me out of here!!!” So honestly, I probably should have suspected autism a long time ago 🙃
2. The Great Lakes region is a great place if you like bodies of water but don’t like hurricanes! I’m in Cleveland and it’s great because it’s still a big-ish city but the buildings aren’t too tall, it has a great theatre district but none of the actual Broadway or Times Square (lol), and best of all I can afford things like bread and parking and a house.
Thanks for another great video! I’ve found your channel to be very helpful and comforting the past few months as I explore the possibility (…the high probability) that I’m autistic. I have a few videos of yours saved so I can show my husband.
Thanks for your comment! And I’ve never been to the Great Lakes! I’d love to see them sometime.
New York City is overstimulating in all the good ways for me! I’m a huge fan
Interesting. I can’t tolerate caffeine at all. I’m autistic and prescribed medicinal cannabis at roughly 3 times the normal dose and it allows me to function pretty well. But I can’t even have a single cup of coffee without having serious physical and psychological side effects. I’ve heard other autistics say that they have atypical reactions to various substances. Some of us can be very dose sensitive to some substances while others are needing unusually high doses of medications for it to be effective. Studies suggest we may metabolise differently. Lol. No coffee for me, lol, but I hope you enjoy yours 😊✌️💕
interesting! I've tried medicinal cannabis and can't tolerate it much! It affects me SO much! You're right we are all different! so interesting.
Come to cali, we have mountains and water 🤩🌞
My son who's 4 is a Pisces too, write on the cusp to Aries. I love water too though and I'm a Gemini on the cusp between Taurus, according to Vedic I'm a taurus
We are also coffee picky 😀
No drip coffee for us either!!
☕️ 👃🏻 ⬆️😎
See? And that's the weird thing I feel too, I'm suspected autistic (score of 150) and I still seem to enjoy NYC's hustle and bustle because there's a strange happy feeling of nobody will recognize me out of a crowd or if they do I might never be seen again anyway 😊
Sometimes I cut off the power of my house to keep things super calm and quiet so that my brain can slow down a bit
Have you considered closed captioning instead of open captioning, so that those who find captioning distracting can shut it off and those who need captioning as an accommodation can turn it on? I find it very difficult to concentrate on what you’re saying with the captions on. Keep up the good content, BTW. I appreciate the hard work you put into maintaining the channel.
I don’t know much about this but I can look into it! I know you can manually turn off the captions in the bottom right of the screen. Thanks for your comment!
Okay so I need to just say how relatable the cooking issue is but on the opposite end. I tend to cook with the expectaction that the food will be ready by the time everyone arrives and we will just immediately sit down. The fact that people don't arrive exactly on time and then want to chit chat every time confuses me
yes it is upsetting when these things dont line up!!
Hi Tay! I have hearing aids so not quite sure how to help with sound overload! I can’t hear people when there is a busy room, so what to do?! 😉
📚book recommendations! “The Body Keeps Score” by Bessel van der Kolk
and “Redefining Anxiety” by Dr.John Deloney…
recommend both books to learn about relation to our bodies and stress/trauma/anxiety!
#actuallyautistic
Thank you for the suggestions! I’ve read the body keeps the score but not the second one.
What ear buds do you use? Special ones so you can still hear others when talking to you or? I sleep with custom made ear buds, but I wouldn’t be able to have a conversation with them on. I really want to dim down the world when I am at events, but having my noise canceling headphones doesn’t work 😂 because people expect me to socialize (mostly bday parties, I hate them btw 😅)
I'm not sure if she still uses Flare earbuds, but they're fantastic. A friend of mine has a pair and he let me try them for a few hours, and I love them! So, I'm going to get a pair when I can 👍
Does anyone have any advice for taking on other peoples emotions? I do this often and then feel that feeling usually longer than the original person does which is really hard. It also means ive been used before as a “therapist” for long periods of time because I felt how they felt, which meant I could say the right things, which has been ultimately very harmful for me. Sorry if I have missed a comment already saying this, I tried to skim read them all. Thank you!
The only way to stop it is to go into what I call missing in action where you spend lots of time alone to recharge energy
@@Dancestar1981 I love your name for it! Yeah that seems to be the only thing that works, but unfortunate I am still in an academic setting for most of the year as well as a part time job which can make it a bit difficult. Thank you very much nonetheless
Hi! This can be a challenging situation that is different for everyone. Many times taking on other people’s emotions can be a coping mechanism we pick up from childhood (not saying this is what is happening with you because I don’t know your situation!) but for me, therapy has helped and also yoga where I focus on the sensations in my own body - learning where I end and where other people begin. Sounds maybe a little woo but it is a tremendously helpful practice. You may also want to learn more about codependency and see if that resonates with you. And practice identifying your own wants and needs and expressing them. 💞
@@MomontheSpectrum thank you, that’s all super helpful. I have been thinking of trying yoga for exercise purposes as well 💜
I used to do that as well. getting better at setting boundaries helps a lot. I took Julia kristinas classes- if you like her youtube videos, I can recommend the membership program. best wishes
This is getting weird now. Another fave youtuber that's also a Pisces. 🤔
yay pisces!!
We rock, uhh, we swim lol ♓🧜♀😊
You have mentioned comfy clothes and that is a big thing for me for the same reasons. What is your favorite or go to material?
I really enjoy stretchy compression material that fully covers my stomach. I also enjoy leggings, hate dresses, material has to be super soft and not itchy. I generally don't like to wear anything that needs to be ironed.
Anyone here score high on the empathy quotient test and is an aspie? I would love to hear everyone's thoughts :)
i currently starting to think about getting a formal autism diagnosis but as a late teen wanting to go into the medical field there are a few more things to think about in terms of the future. the conversion is barely starting but i dont really know. any advise? i think the main advantage would be getting accommodations in exams but other than that i cant really know.
Just listen to your gut and don’t make any quick decisions. You’ll know if/when it’s time.
Can you play the piano?
Yes!
The sound on this video is a bit quiet