0:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
My team and I see all of your comments about the intro! We're listening and we appreciate the feedback. Here are a few things we've changed in the last few months: - CSP graphics - Audio quality - In-person vs. Zoom - Followups are on video - Filming the CSP and other BTS material - CSP analyses on our Saturday emails We're always working to improve the pod to make it as useful as possible. Sometimes we don't get it right. Other times, we're going to make a change that you disagree with. As always, thank you for watching.
LAST NIGHT I RECEIVED THIS UPDATE FROM CHRISTINA AND NOAH: “Since meeting with Ramit we’ve been very busy getting our environment ready for baby-as we’re now in the 9th month and baby could come anytime! We’ve spent less time focused on our spreadsheet and focused more on using our finances to work for us. We enjoyed our week long vacation and spent money without worrying that we’d have enough for retirement. We ate out freely, bought gifts and souvenirs without overthinking “do we really need this?” and generally didn’t budget day to day as we knew we had financially planned for the vacation. To make our lives easier and more convenient, we’ve been in touch with cleaners and expect to have our first professional cleaning this week! We’ve also engaged more frequent babysitters for a few hours weekly to help us in the chaos of preparing our lives for the baby. We have been focused on our marriage and have been going to weekly couples therapy too, something we prioritized in the past but weren’t making the space for when we met you. While this added expense of $1000+ monthly formerly would seem like a major dent in our finances, we know this temporary use of funds is good for our marriage and therefore, a great use of money. Thanks again for your help Ramit. We will carry the lessons you brought to our attention with us throughout this year, and I’m sure beyond. Thanks for encouraging us to dream more and focus on building a rich life together, right now.” THANKS FOR THE UPDATE, KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK. WE WISH YOU BOTH THE BEST!
Besides the complete annoyance to listen someone cry over being so poor with $300k a year and $800,000 saved, it’d at least a good reminder that comparison is the theft of joy. Being self confident is beyond valuable
Its annoying as well. But people dont realize how hard it is mentally. Especially if you grew up in a frugal household with parent(s) that dont spend, or maybe had a lot of debt in the past; to now doing well, the mentality is hard. Im going through it now, and even this was annoying to me. It’s hard. So i have compassion because it’s all psychological and spiritual.
Please producers: don’t over refine the show; it’s making it worse. The intro feels like tv but this is UA-cam. The more you refine; the less your core audience will watch.
One more hardcore fan here, pleading with you to not use these kinds of intros. I know you'd probably think "They'll get used to it, there's always backlash with changes", but it really is fixing something that wasn't broken.
This couple was confusing, and I agree that it was difficult to connect with them. Christina dominated most of the conversation. Noah barely talked. But maybe they were nervous, which is understandable. I know I certainly would be. I felt this couple came on the show to be praised for their amazing financial position, especially at their age. And I'm not a "hater" that has an issue with the wealthier couples. However, something about them was strangely off-putting and unlikable. Christina cries about her spending worries one second and then her eyes literally lit up when they opened the CSP to show their massive net worth, ZERO debt, and $300K income. She says she's scared they won't have enough money for the future and stresses about $70 dinners but also speaks of purchasing Gucci bags, enrolling her kids in expensive daycare, and pressed her husband on buying a $1M house as if she was asking him to donate a life saving organ. I think there is always something to learn from the wealthier couples who come on the podcast. However, Christina and Noah came across to me as inauthentic and superficial. Christina's comment about "keeping up with the Joneses" in the update really says it all. Are Christina and Noah trying to live THEIR rich life or just simply trying to emulate what their rich friends/peers do and have? This is the question I'm left with after this episode. Regardless, I wish them the best and hope they learn gratitude for everything they have or they will never be happy. Ramit, I love your work and appreciated your candor as always!
I share this sentiment completely. From what she described her problems are, they all seem to stem from a point whether she gets to live a social media pitch-perfect fantasy and impress people around her. She gets so caught up in it that it literally defines what makes her happy or unhappy. Even her decision of having kids revolves around impressing/pleasing other people. As to Noah, he doesn’t care about it an awful lot, so naturally he doesn’t think most of her spending requests are rational or necessary. It’s so damn tiring listening to their push and pull.
I agree. I fell asleep listening to this episode and before I dozed off my brain concluded that this lady maybe wanted to come on the show just for the sake of being on the show or to be seen. I wish them all the best nonetheless.
Who knows if her comparisons are even correct? People didn't always talk numbers and might imply a lot - and she seems like the type to assume the worst.
If her dream life includes travel, there's no reason for her to feel guilty about it. Money exists to make life good. Budget for needs, giving, saving, and guilt-free spending. If you work hard, you deserve to enjoy your life.
It seems that you get a less polished version of people via zoom and that people are more aware they’re on a show and more guarded in person. I prefer the zoom conversations and the more authentic responses.
It's hard to see people making $300k with ZERO debt worry about how they're not making enough money. I can see the genuine pain with her, and it's crazy to always get slapped back to reality how personal and individual financial situations are. Perspectives are crazy. I hope this couple can find a great place in the middle. Ramit, I really REALLY liked your point where you told her she has, "...a dramatic mis-calibration of what a lot of money means," and how it will make her feel bad about money all the time. This woman is incredibly anxious.
I think it’s a legitimate concern to worry about being laid off when you are such an expensive salary line item in a company. 300k. I’d rather make 100 and have job security.
@@latulip100 they make more than enough money to plan around that. They just seem to worry unproductively and that was hard to watch. Also these days no one has job security. I worked for a big tech company known for firing long-term workers...just before they were to receive their pension. Corporations are evil and don't expect anyone to be safe from their greed.
@@latulip100that’s a reflection of your own unconscious fears. Neither of them makes $300k. They make that together. And salary is uncorrelated to job security.
Glad I’m not the only one bothered by this episode. 800k net worth, $300k income, private preschool, $10k in cash sitting on a shelf for a few years but I want a Gucci purse so let’s go cry on a show about money. What in the alternate universe did I just watch?
I want to call out that I think Ramit models male feminism really well. I so, SO love that you can see him get personally upset by sexism and by the idea of it getting perpetuated to future generations. Also, the way he always speaks about his wife as an absolutely respected and equal partner despite him (literally) being the financial expert in the relationship. It feels really good to see someone with a big platform and influence openly care about gender equality and respect.
@bdp295 Here's your reminder that I described his feminism as respecting his wife as an equal in their partnership. If you find that uncomfortable and impossible to imagine being true, you have a lot of work to do before your "opinions" count as anything other than boilerplate bigotry. Thoughts and prayers to any of the women in your life, little buddy.
This lady constantly contradicts herself and stresses about both sides of every coin. She's exhausting to listen to and I can't watch in one sitting. The dramatics sound like they are starving on $25k a year, not like their 300k salary!! PS, like others, I like the more intimate old video style.
Same. I started listening to this this morning and I keep stopping to do other things and then coming back to it because I actually feel stressed out listening to this and watching her continue to cry. No shade to her, but watching her made me start to feel anxious, which is why I keep stopping.
It’s so cringy to see a couple under 40 (especially the wife) with over 850K in net worth so anxious about their money and envious about those who have even more. So often the people who are doing terrific with money don’t want to accept that they’re doing fine or even alright with money. This couple is better than about 95% of couples their age in the United States. And compared to the world as a whole, the United States is better off than nearly every other place when it comes to financial opportunity. It’s absurd to feel like you need over 3 times your salary invested at 40 when your combined income is 300K a year. If she couldn’t afford to raise 2 or 3 kids, and send them to college, no one could. I say this as someone who also had my parents pay for my college as well as my sisters. And we both went to college around the time of the great recession. My parents raised us in a high cost of living area and didn’t have nearly as much wealth as them prior to getting married. Even adjusted for inflation.
That’s the thing I don’t understand!! There are people who’ve had way less and had a larger family but made it. It’s her entitled attitude of I CANNOT have thrifted clothes 🙄 lady I lived off of hand me downs, your kids will outgrow them in a few months anyways, it’s so wild how delusional these couples have been on this show lately. If you’re this stressed, don’t have more kids, but if kids are your dream then you need to have a life that centers around that.
@@mrs.quills7061 The crazy part is they don't even need to thrift, they could just buy kids stuff at Target and she could buy items less often and they'd still have plenty. I honestly found the comment she made about "maybe they need to get kids toys at garage sales" to be really out of touch and entitled once I found out their income. It's like pretending to be poor to enjoy the self flagellation of it and must feel like a slap in the face for anyone actually stretching to make ends meet. I wish he had unpacked their childhoods more, but it was a lot and I'm sure frustrating for him. I'm glad they are going back to therapy as a couple and hope she does some individual as well to recalibrate. I did really appreciate him calling them out for their lack of gratitude.
This couple has the best post-interview feedback and thoughts. Both of them responded individually and together, and they outlined clear actionable next steps. Feels like they really benefited from it. Can’t say the same for many other couples on this channel…
Well, he does not seem to think there’s an issue and he squashes her dreams instead. So she feels like she’s alone and he’s quiet because he’s like “I don’t need to be here”. That’s where the problem lies.
@@VBoo459 the problem with her is that she has no self restraint. She'd wish for the moon if she could and then some. How do you even plan with someone like that?
@@VBoo459 But isn't that the point of this show- to discuss what each partner is bringing to the table? His money perspective is important also. This episode felt like privileged whining and he seems pretty used to it and is checked out. Why not give some kudos to him for getting them to this point where they are crushing it?
Not gonna lie…it was a bit overwhelming to see someone with so much financial privilege yet be stuck on worrying about not having enough and spending. 😶
To Ramit & producers: The old format of the at home video calls are better because it’s almost as if Ramit transports himself into the homes of a couples while they are having a difficult but necessary conversation about money after a long work day and after the kids have been put to bed. I haven’t come across a single podcast/show like it. I understand going viral is important but you can tell from a lot of the comments that the people who tune in every episode aren’t here for that type of content. There are channels that do the financial entertainment clickbait thing very well. Hopefully this channel doesn’t turn into that. Regardless I wish you guys nothing but success with everything!
I agree. I noticed a significant change in the candid nature of the conversations when the podcast went to UA-cam (and participants knew they would be seen) and I perceived another major decline in the authenticity when the conversations moved in person. They also seem far less actionable and solutions-oriented than the early episodes. I want this excellent podcast to reach a wide audience but I hope they can make changes that the algorithm rewards without losing the quality of these important conversations.
Something about this couple is rubbing me the wrong way. I can understand worrying about the future but she is stressing ME out. They are in such a privileged position that most folks will never reach and she isn’t seeing that. Not to mention her doing an excessive amount of talking and comparing everything they have to her peers. Idk maybe it’s me but I’m annoyed with her ideology. Also, she isn’t the driver she thinks she is. Annnndddd…I agree with the majority here. NO to this intro!! Please go back to the Zoom setting. I’m still a fan of the show.
Whatever you do do not hang out around pregnant women because this is what it's like to be around a pregnant woman. As a woman who's been pregnant three times it gets worse the closer you get to your due date too.
ok, after watching the full episode I just don't get what the issue was here. No debt, almost a million in net worth, mid 30s, growing family. They seem to be hitting all the milestones that you're "supposed" to. I don't get why they applied. There were a lot of words, but hardly anything substantial was said. I feel like the wife mostly just wanted a reassuring pep talk from Ramit. As a fellow mid-30s millennial -- I found this episode incredibly annoying.
This is a money *psychology* podcast, not Dave Ramsey. Perception is a strong piece of this. This episode, in particular, reinforces a lot of Ramit's common themes.
The problem is Noah just doesn't have a spark. No vision, no excitement for life's possibilities. I don't blame him for being hesitant to commit to a million dollar house. It's always possible to get in over your head and end up struggling unnecessarily, regardless of income. But he didn't provide an alternative vision. "Honey, we could move here and buy a great house for half that much and then be able to do X, Y and Z which we wouldn't be able to do if we bought a million dollar house" If you are going to shoot down one dream you should at least provide an alternative dream.
This! This is a fantastic explanation of what feeks off about his responses. I'm struggling with this right now, but internally. Part of me wants a house and dreams about what I could do to make it my own. The other part doesn't want to sell myself into slavery for a home since the cheapest ones in my area are only affordable if I sacrifice the other parts of my life that I enjoy.
There's a very real need for people with big incomes to plan for the worst. Her concerns about layoffs or not being able to work til 60 or whatever are very valid.
I mentioned this in a comment on last week’s video and was attacked. Some stated I should submit an application myself or go to another channel that peddles eating rice and beans to save money (wow! The assumptions that were made about me). He doesn’t interview singles, which is different territory when it comes to finances and tax code, and it easy to figure out finances when you have disposable income.
@@CambieSweetsit’s because some long time followers don’t want to admit this podcast has been changing a lot. I too would love to just see average earners again.
Yes!! Average income is what should be interviewed as that’s most people in the US! And I need to see under 100K and singles because not everyone is with someone being able to maximize their income.
@@CambieSweetsamen. As a single woman I mostly watch this to mock couples and feel relieved I’m single. Yeah I’m struggling at time but I don’t have to deal with any kind of whining over handbags.
Agree with you 100%. At 54 I have only recently broken over the $100k mark in salary - after 24 years in my field! And I thought I was doing okay...until I see all these 20/30 somethings on every episode now it seems in the $300k - $600k (and up). And don't say it depends where you live. I live in an EXTREMELY high cost of living area in Canada where an average shithole house would cost over $1million. Our gas is way more expensive, our groceries are way more expensive, etc. And my salary is quite a bit higher than average for here. We are fucked lol.
100%. He saw his parents being very frugal and questioning every expenses. So now as an adult he’s simply doing the same thing, BUT has no intentions behind it. He questions her so much but then doesn’t come to a decision or provide an alternative. Way to leave your partner hanging and frustrated. And she said she ate cheap meals and bad food and had no money in her 20s and now having money feels so guilty to spend anything on herself. She doesn’t have the self esteem or trust herself, and so she wants something… but like Ramit said, she GIVES that power over to her husband, who will gladly say no and “keep her on track”. What a weird thing to say about a romantic partner, she’s an adult, not your child, so glad Ramit pointed that out. So he loves saying no to everything as it’s what his parents did, and she has zero self trust or self esteem and so she questions everything and asks her husband to help her, but he just squashed the dream. This is just a dead end dynamic, idk how they’re doing ok together AND with another baby on the way. Their finances are GREAT, zero issues. That net worth is crazy to have as mid 30s!!! They need individual and couples therapy to work out these issues and better able to live their life and be better partners to each other.
they are in their 30's and havent even hit their actual expenses of life, their kids are young or unborn, the real money hits after 10 and doesn't stop until 25. assuming their incomes and returns are going to go on forever is wild. Noah might be a tightwad, but frankly her early 20's consumer debt is a indication of her future because, even after couples therapy, she still acts the exact same way. she comes off as uncoachable even by professionals.
Felt more like a coping mechanism to me. I envisioned that in the past they've done the thing where they made the purchase or spent the money and he had to deal with her constantly bringing up her guilt over it and agonizing over the "wasted" money, so he slotted into the role he saw in his childhood "do we need to buy it, let's think on it for awhile."
What stands out to me in these comments is that a) people really lack empathy when they are jealous and b) the life they are living is solidly middle class. Not upper class. Not wealthy. In America that means having a constant fear that everything you've worked for can be snatched out from under you in an instant because of a) unexpected healthcare costs, b) rising college costs, c) housing costs, d) unexpected job loss with no protections. All of this anxiety is driven by the fact that we have no social safety net and are constantly told that if one of these things happens it's because you "didn't plan properly." It's your fault you lost your job! It's your fault you got sick! It's your fault for not putting enough in your 401k! It's your fault you decided to have kids! It's your fault you don't have enough saved for college! Etc. Etc. This means that for people who are planners and are prone to anxiety, there is a A LOT to worry about and try to plan for and the anxiety becomes a pattern even when they are meeting the goals. Now add pregnancy hormones to that and the feeling that everything you've been trying to "plan" for is in chaos. It's no wonder she's crying. Personally, I just want to hug her and tell her that she has planned well and she'll be ok. The simple truth is that in America financial stability is a house of cards, so of course, people don't ever feel secure or like they have enough! (I'm not even touching on the fact that we also have the constant contradicting messages that we shouldn't worry about this and should live our "best" "rich" life filled with joy and "buy. all. the. things." And are fed a constant stream of media with people selling luxury lifestyles.
I like it when Ramit gets down to how couples grow up, because that is where their mindset comes from. Attitudes about money start very early. Two people come together and get married and no wonder there is conflict as far as money.
Another episode where my opinion has morphed by the end. Really fascinating and I highly suggest people watch til the end before commenting about how annoying she is for worrying to much. A lot of this is based on their dynamic, not just her being "crazy".
Yes!! And it felt like he was trying to come off as so chill and reasonable, even while saying no to stuff that they can actually afford. Which is making her dizzy because she's the one in the numbers and she actually knows inside that they can afford things. But because he's always so cool and collected while he's always like no, it pushes her back and she's like woahhh....do I have enough? Am I crazy? And she's struggling to reconcile that with the fact that she actually knows what it means to not have enough and this ain't it lol. 😂 And that, plus pregnancy hormones, is probably why she's flapping around and looking crazy. I hope they go to therapy and keep working on it lol. She seems like a nice lady, they're a good couple. They just need to work on some things.
@@Aquaria2291agreed! He seems numb to life. I wonder if he was just saying / doing what he thought he “should” because he has no connection to how he really feels or what he really wants from life.
So glad Ramit called out that he’s not feeling like he’s connecting to them, i got this vibe too - very performative until we finally got to the numbers
She absolutely was not "hearing" Ramit. Usually participants have this aha! moment where he suggests maybe it's not about the numbers or the spreadsheets but their emotions and it connects with them. She just did not want to hear that at all so she refused to switch to an emotions discussion. She really only viewed it on her own terms (i.e. the CSP isn't specific enough I need a more-detailed excel, I need 3x my salary at X age and you're looking at the joint numbers, what if I lose my job 20 years from now, etc.)
I'm only 30 mins into this, and really resonate with Christina's worrying and thought processes re: "not enough" yet essentially over-saving/investing so much she is stressed about money.
@@komeogbedobor6774 I'm single, divorced at 40, and always felt behind because of those stupid "you should have X times your income saved" things. Numbers that don't factor in other life circumstances that have impacted being able to save for retirement, much less investing at an earlier age... Next time I start getting into a worry loop I'm going to pull this episode up to watch what I'm doing to myself: it's painful! Sending you so much respect for being a single mom. I'm sure you're teaching your daughter how to do money right, and live as good a life as possible.
i think ramit missed the most significant reason.. she is thinking about the biological clock alot(age now, retirement, her place in time not meeting guidelines of where she should be). she wants 3 kids but fears she cant afford even just 2. its all about wanting 3 kids but needing to save to afford 2 kids and her biological clock is running out.. the guilt of $1k purses or $70 meals with friends is about then not affording the 3rd child lifestyle. she hopes to get pregnant with 3rd kid soon
I see people afford 2 and 3 kids on way less than 300k they definitely have an inflated lifestyle but even with that I think they could easily afford a 3rd kid. Granted I don’t know where they live so it may depend on that. I mean she’s talking about 1million dollar homes and their rent is 5.4k so either hella lifestyle inflation or HCOL area
I found it hard to believe that she's so worried about these smaller purchases but at the same time wants a $1M house. That doesn't track for me at all.
This couple reminds me of myself, both the man and the woman. At first I was like Noah, saver/dream-killer. After having a near-death experience (heart attack) in my 30's, I am now like Christina where I am encouraging my spouse to spend more and to rethink how much money do we actually need. Since the heart-attack, I've reduced my investing goals and have elected to spend a bit more to enjoy life for myself, my wife, and my young daughter. This was a great conversation.
I liked Caleb in the beginning also... but he's gone off the rails talking with people who are simply freaking RIDICULOUS. It's like Soft White Underbelly meets YNAB. not good.
@@leannwilson2640I used to like him too but now his show is nothing but e girls and influencers who blow their money on sex workers, parties and the whole get up. It’s sad really.
They were pretty clear about combined finances. I'm assuming in this context they were toying with the idea of her becoming a stay-at-home mom rather than work and pay for daycare if costs exceeded her income.
This episode was so powerful. I is amazing to see them work through the money stories they tell themselves. Amazing episode to see how deeply the stories that we tell ourselves keeps us from seeing the reality of the numbers. Episode have been getting better and better, makes you think and reflect!
Man I hope Christina considers surrounding herself with less toxic peers! It sounds like friends or coworkers are pushing some really unhelpful ideals. Best of luck to her and Noah, seems like they left with some great takeaways.
We had some family friends who were doing just great but man did they hang around toxic people constantly talking about their money. Our friends are doing well, their kids doing well, but like, so and so has enough to buy a Lamborghini (haha, maybe they have enough or maybe not…) so must feel bad out myself and what I’ve achieved …yikes it was so toxic and so hard to try to explain to them
It's a problem when you think a normal life is a million dollar house, $100🎉0 gucci bags, top tier daycare, and multiple vacations. Also, comparison is the thief of joy.
Normal is relative. My old boss told me once that his economic and my economic is different. Dont try to understand the people thats on a different tier of social economic ladder. We were in the lounge at CGD and over hear these 2 gentleman talking about the dreadfulness of fly commercial.
I’m massively guilty of this but you’re so right. I think we’ve completely shifted what the definition of normal means now and the new “normal” isn’t even average. It’s WAYY beyond that. Upper class lifestyle and yet normal is meant to mean conforming to the standard/majority. This lifestyle like you said is NOT normal.
IMO you’re right and also wrong. Normal means conforming to the standard, generally the majority of people follow it. It becomes a norm. Anything beyond that is not. So whilst you overhear 2 gentlemen dreading flying commercial, majority people do fly commercial = it’s normal to fly commercial. I personally love flying business (hate commercial) but it’s not normal. Even if someone has a difference economic to you, there is still everyone else in that country or region which is what dictates what is normal. Ofc you can say it’s normal amongst your peers, but it’s not normal amongst your area.
To this couple: Thank you. You guys did what I would find impossible to do i.e. open up and be extremely vulnerable and have an authentic and honest discussion about something so personal with a stranger infront of millions of strangers all over the world. You guys are authentic and real. Thank you because this was extremely enlightening and provoked deep thought within myself and I’m almost certain so many others who watched this show to learn from you. To Ramit: thank you for having high net worth couples on your show. Most of what you see on the internet is to help those with low net worths. I would never see this level of detail on Dave Ramsey’s show for example. This was one of my favorite episodes. I watched it 3 times because of how authentic and honest this couple was. I wish you guys all the best on figuring out your rich life.
also to the twisted dynamic "daddies make the decisions, mommies are just there to ask" Ramit points out: I grew up with this dynamic in my parents and it's infuriating to witness, and the secondhand anxiety sucks hard. If mom went rogue and bought, like the expensive strawberries at the store because I thought they looked good, the guilt and stress I felt in my stomach was physical until I knew whether or not my dad would be a jerk. Meanwhile, my dad did whatever he wanted and never had to justify his extra spending. I remember my mind was blown at age 13 when my aunt bought several hundred dollars worth of ceramics for herself without any consultation needed. It's so important to have someone model healthy relationships around money to kids, and it would save a lot of anguish if it's the parents themselves.
I find it interesting that the name of the channel is I will teach you to be rich but so many of the people who he interviews would already be considered rich by so many people. I mean trying to decide whether to spend $1000 on a Gucci bag? $800,000 new worth at their ages? Hard to understand the tears from someone who earns what she does. $300,000!
Mahdi is right and I will add that what you are both also missing is this concept of rich isnt only about a high number in the bank. its a mindset mixed with a high number that will give you options to live what you consider your rich life. go grab his book, second edition or at very least watch all his vids. life changing. i already have my co workers and nieces and nephews investing and caring about money now
I’m surprised one of her major takeaways was that she was disrespectful to her husband. I thought it was mutual. I hope they come out of this stronger, this brought up a lot of issues in the relationship.
yeah that honestly shook me and gave weird Trad wife vibes. Like Ramit said they have that classic sitcom dynamic and she actually seems to thrive on that and want to be the "nagging wife". Hopefully it can be worked out with therapy.
Agreed, that gave me the ick big time. That word gets thrown around a lot in abusive dynamics, which hopefully isn't their case. Glad to hear they're seeking couple's therapy.
I’m 76. I love the discussions about what couples’ money lives were like growing up. I feel extremely lucky to have grown up with smart and frugal money parents, who lived a VERY rich life all the way into their mid-90s, as did my first husband. We separated when our son was 5 but stayed close. Together we never (that I recall) had a negative money discussion. We haven’t been together for 40 years, but both sold our businesses in 2005 and even today once in a while talk about money and investing. Our son and his family also live a very rich life. Hoping we passed on healthy money attitudes.
Earlier today I was judging this woman for complaining that she makes less than her peers/friends, a few hours later, I found out an acquaintance makes significantly more than me and I am now this lady! I make a good living and I like my job (mostly) but now I can't stop thinking about how much more this person must have than me. God has never corrected me so swiftly and harshly. I've been checked. 😬 I'm sorry for judging. 💯
I really enjoyed their perspective, my husband had a similar mindset. I call it being 401k poor, it took me a long time to help him understand that it was ok to lower investing while we were paying for childcare to reduce our stress.
I find it very difficult to dream, myself. I've never had a lot of money and always felt behind. This one definitely hit home. Maybe I too am the dream crusher. My wife started her own art and crafts retail store a year ago. She's barely breaking even and can't contribute anything financially to the household. I'm barely keeping up. On the one hand I want to give her time to grow her store, her dream. On the other hand I can't keep the level of financial pressure up. I have 0 guilt free spending. But what about my dreams? I feel like I can't dream because we can't afford it anyway. I fear becoming a dream crusher by discussing closing the store in a year if she's still not able to financially contribute. Really tough situation.
Maybe you can try sitting down and looking at your numbers together and showing her how tight your finances are. Then sit back and let her come up with a way to free up your money. She might want to give it a year, she might want to increase her prices or cut costs. She might be ready to close it down but doesn't want to feel like she's wasted hers and your time and money. It's really important that you speak with truth and not fear and don't try to :solve the problem" rather come together to map out next steps. Haha... just my two cents, I've been listening to this podcast waaaayyyy too much 😂
@@gomezdiana84 Thank you. We talk about it weekly. We know each other's positions. Thanks to Ramit for giving me the words to discuss it and voice my concerns and frustrations. She really wants to come up with another way of making money and she feels really bad about having to rely on me to such an extent that everything I make goes to the family finances.
The fast paced sneak peak style can be good but those white flashes in the intro 😵💫😵💫 also perhaps something less “Jerry springer” for the background music lol
Ramit, can you have someone who is dirt-poor, on your youtube soon ? Like a struggling single mom working as a cashier. It would be very interesting to see the mindsets of people who are stuck in poverty cycles :)
Sorry, I just cannot relate to people making 300,000 a year (with almost a million net worth), complaining about their money issues any longer. People come here for insights on for help when they are making an average wage and spending 120% of their income each month. This couple saves more each month than the average lower middle class person brings home. Listen, good on them, but this podcast is almost turning into Dr. Phill for upper class people.
Watch out! You’re going to have the flying monkeys in your comments soon with this one 😄 Ramit addressed this last week in his video because others have voiced what you have. He swears his guests are diverse and we can all learn from the advice he’s offering them.
I felt frustrated watching this, I’m glad Ramit was too. They aren’t grateful. They have only been thinking of themselves. I hope they can find some joy in spending and giving.
The first 50 minutes the husband seemed avoidant and intentionally provoke his wife at home. The wife appeared unhinged, self centered and a little hostile towards her husband but I just said it’s probably pregnancy hormones (I’ve been the crazy pregnant lady before too lol). After Ramit told them he was not connecting with them is when I started to see a shift in their attitudes and them coming together as a team 👏🙌❤️
I agree 100% on the pregnancy hormones, I guarantee that is why she is crying. I think it was because Remy connected with them first because all they wanted to talk about was superficial things and he helped connect with them on an emotional level which is great for a guy who says he doesn't have very many emotions.
This entire episode is instructive in how important it is to stop the catastrophic thought spirals rather than indulging them. I get that it can feel good to cry and feel sorry for yourself, especially in the midst of lots of stress. But wow, there were so many specific scenarios presented here as highly likely to the point they (Christina) wanted to obsess over them decades in advance, like the possibility that she would get laid off at 62 and be forced to start her retirement earlier than expected. As someone who was almost killed when a car hit me in a crosswalk, let me tell you... worrying about what ifs is an incredible waste of time and energy. You have NO idea what might happen. There is NO point in following your anxiety into such a deep, dark, hole. You might feel like it's just being realistic and prepared but come on, you know it's not. It's just anxiety controlling your life and wringing the joy out of it. As to the husband- The guardrail vs dreamcrusher point is a very good one that I hope he takes it to heart. The condescending "I know better/I don't have such complicated needs/I'm not the problem" undertone needs to go, though.
This is amazing to me - their incomes combined for one month is what I make in a year as a 43 yo single mom of two kids in CALIFORNIA. I really hope they gained some perspective on how fortunate they are and not be so anxious about their future.
Is it just me, or did we not find out what they do for a living, who earns what, the expenses, etc? It seems like something has changed from previous episodes.
I'm assuming stuff was cut in the final edit. I believe the couple has final say in what goes so they may not have wanted to disclose those things. Just a guess.
Dear Ramit, I hope you get a chance to read this. We singles need this from you as well, as marriage and partnership isn't in the cards for everyone. However, it would be nice to get our money psychology right before entering relationships if the opportunity presents itself. When better to work on it, while in your season of singleness? Love the show. Thanks!
The last 2 episodes have been difficult to relate to or have empathy for the couples. High earners trying to keep up with the Jones’ isn’t a reality for the vast majority of Americans. The $100k-$200k annual household income couples with children are truly the demographic I want to learn from. The $250k+ households have plenty of cushion.
Ramit stated at the top of last week’s episode that his guests are VERY diverse. He prefaced with that because you aren’t the first to voice this pattern of high earners on the show. I agree with you that his past few guest aren’t reflecting the majority. Honestly, it’s beginning to feel like he’s inviting people from his circle of life into the show, or at least people in close proximity. It may be the norm in an upper middle class circle that these people think they’re struggling.
I'm finding it harder and harder to relate. I had to stop the one with the woman making $2.2 million. Some of these are just so far from my reality that it isn't even interesting to me - and hearing them bitch is even less so.
Yet again, the idea that the AMOUNT you make literally doesn’t matter flies right over people watching this podcast. I’m sure Ramit giggles each time someone complains the episodes are “difficult to relate to” because they’re trying to relate to the wrong things
Lollllll when Ramit said DREAM SQUASHER! I’ve never seen you this annoyed before but I agree. Gratitude is so important. A lot of couples that come on this show blow my mind at what they’ve achieved and the lack of gratitude and pride. But what I LOVE about this podcast is no matter how much I don’t get or relate to the couple at the beginning, I feel connected to them and rooting for them by the end. You’re incredible Remit! I’ve learned so much from this.
I'm so impressed with Ramit calling out this man! From the beginning he sat there oozing smug superiority and having the right of veto over every idea, no matter how tiny and insignificant!
Easy for you to say, you’re not him, you don’t have to work to earn that money for the next 30 years. They aren’t even a quarter way to that 11 million. They still have to lay the foundation for that goal and if he should get derailed early it won’t happen.
I'm surprised at how much Ramit is missing on this? She was crying talking about how poor she was in her 20s. I'm only assuming but it seems like her fear and anxiety greatly stems from not wanting to experience that again. And all Ramit is doing (thus far where I'm at in the episode) is showing them numbers, but that contradicts what he always says, and does so earlier on in the episode, that this isn't a numbers problem it's an emotional one. She likely needs to work through the trauma of being very poor at a certain point in her life. Feeling so afraid of it suddenly happening again and that she's behind in life because of it. You can see her circular reasoning is because there's a disconnect between recognizing that her reality isn't her past that shes so hypervigilant about. I hope more happens around that as i continue to listen. Saying that he's not connecting with them but entirely missing the root of her fear???
I have four kids and raising them is for sure expensive but I also think people who are high earners put off having kids because they’re over thinking it.
There is no “,right time.” It pains me to watch my adult kids waiting for everything to be “right. “ Nope, life doesn’t work that way. Mom of eight here. You don’t need a lot of things for kids. Do your own thing; not what media “ tells you to.” I can’t imagine ruminating like this, round and round, instead of getting on with living. How much joy is she taking away from her pregnancy and having a toddler. I find this profoundly sad.
@@cheyenne7982 how old are you? First kid? Do you want a big family? Do you have the basics, like can eat decently ( not just ramen while pregnant), any health problems that will be worse in a year? So many variables! But……….if everything is good, or there is a reason where a year can change things for the wise ( age, health, etc.), you most likely won’t regret jumping in straight away. Meaning, this won’t ultimately matter; what will matter is a healthy child. Ya know what I mean?
@@cheyenne7982 mandatory disclaimer, I don't want kids but I would wait. That's like asking if you would stay at your job for another year for a 30k bonus. Ummm unless I had another opportunity that would pay me 40k, hell yes. Also consider that (and I hope this isn't the case for you), sometimes, the first round doesn't take and you may need additional tries. Not sure what your employer will offer in that case, but I would wait the year, stack the 30k in a HYSA, and then take the benefit. That way, if you need another round, whatever the deal is, you're in good shape. Or prayerfully, you'll have 30k+ extra to get ready for your baby and get a jump start on that college fund lol. Good luck, hope everything goes well.
To be honest , i prefer the vidéo format. Being in the same room , People restrain their self .they speak more to each other and are not as honest as they are : because they control their non verbal communication...
Thanks for another great episode. I laughed out loud when she said she needs to calculate how much she needs to feel good. And loved your self burn about parents looking at a report card to determine if they are proud of their kids
Ramit, your facial expressions are always such an important part of the show, but from this angle we only get your profile and cant see your great expressions!
Oof, I wish them good luck but it was hard to see another couple who seemed very unaware and, worse, uninterested to be aware of what the MEDIAN INCOME in their city is. When you make this much money, and don’t bother to put it into the context of the city you live in, it just comes across as ungrateful, disrespectful and entitled.
So glad you said it! I honestly couldn't continue watching. Really getting exhausted with rich people on this show crying about not having enough money 😪.
I agree a 1000% with you. It was hard to watch her crying about how if she wants to buy an over a million home when most of us can hardly even afford a home at all. I decided to blame her pregnancy hormones so I can finish the video.
@@chumabanjwa4662 to be completely transparent, I am one of those "rich" people (i make a lot higher than their income) so I want to acknowledge that I understand how people can end up making a lot of money and losing touch with the fact that it is a lot of money. But I've also come to understand that with more money should come more responsibility to educate yourself and learn about my own privilege in the context of the community/city that I am a member of. Gratitude and acknowledgement of privilege goes a long way in being a better member of our communities..
@@francoralI stopped watching it halfway through, so you did a better job than me. I almost stopped watching after her crying nonsense, but wanted to still give it a try.
Completely agree. And if it’s not this couple, it’s been the last 4 couples who’ve been on. Just entitled trust fund kids from NYC that cannot fathom the horrors of having to thrift clothes 😱 meanwhile the rest of us are struggling to pay for food or have a safe place to sleep.
Exactly!! It’s so hard to swallow. Every episode goes like this: Ramit, I can’t fit all my cash in the closet of my yacht! What am I doing wrong? - It’s ok Rich Lady. I can teach you to be rich already. Just buy a second yacht with your allocated crapload of money. Update: They did buy the second yacht on their month long trip to Europe but are still no happier. Getting therapy. 🙄
How sad to be making that kind of income at such a young age and not to be able to enjoy it. To overthink every possible situation that could happen in life that would hinder one from meeting a goal leaves you feeling helpless and vulnerable. This is no way to live. I pity her. There are no guarantees in life. So you save what you can, spend what you must, and go and enjoy life. You don't have to have a million dollar house to enjoy life. Life does not consist of the abundance of things but rather in the abundance of relationships. Friends, family, children, spouse, these are the things that make life fulfilling and rewarding. When you die, you leave all of your possessions behind. What really matters in life is your relationships with others and having a full life serving others.
Why does everyone have a problem with this couple? Ramit helped align their financial views with their reality. That's what he does, no matter how much or little they make/save/invest. She was a bit delulu and he was stonewalling. They aren't bad people.
OMG... 1% ers literally crying about their millions of $. These rich people would crumble if they made an average income and struggled to pay for a 250k home. "I'm a simple man"... all I want is a housekeeper to clean my house, do my shopping and watch my kids after they get home from private school. wow.
Me in the corner in my 30s making $6400 gross a month as a trauma nurse. Lord, I should have picked a different career seeing what these people are pulling in!
I hear you! I’m a retired nurse now but I grossed €5k a month (about $5200) a month in my 60s and I was in a high grade nursing role (public health). I know in US nurses make more than in Ireland but even so it all balances out with our lower healthcare costs and guaranteed retirement pensions income. (Full service of 40 years means you retire on half final salary if you’re a nurse or public servant) . So saving for retirement is not something we think about, we just pay into our pensions from our salary and it’s also tax deducted at source so for every €1 we only pay 60cent. After retirement we pay 20% tax on drawdown, after our tax credits are applied.).
Does the husband ever get a word in? Ramit usually does a great job balancing the spouses input but he let this woman totally dominate the conversation with her rant. This was a terrible interview.
My take was that he didn't have anything to talk about. He didn't have many ideas of his own about how to spend their money -- he just wanted to say he personally didn't need much and then veto her ideas & plans for how to spend and manage their money. For example, he wouldn't OK the daycare she found for their sons but saying he doesn't "need" something fancy doesn't provide them with an alternative, less expensive daycare unless he does the research and finds a less expensive daycare. But yeah, maybe Ramit should've forced him to contribute ideas sooner. I just don't think that the husband wanted to get a word in sooner because he didn't seem to have much to say when put on the spot.
@@marykaitlynclark-joseph4192 he didn't not "okay" it... he wanted to look at options. She seems like she is making shotgun decisions.. maybe thats her M.O.
I actually like the intros, I've always watched from UA-cam and missed the actual "podcast" age. Since I don't pay for television/streaming subscriptions, it's actually pretty fun to watch. I tend to listen at work, and it's refreshing to be able to bop over to the video during the "emotionally" charged segments though, from the "intros" I have skipped some episodes, so they're a nice little preview so I know if I'm going to enjoy listening to the next hour and a half. The excerpts with Ramit's commentary have honestly been more helpful than the direct conversations.
One thing I noticed here was that “fidelity” call to have 3 times you income save by 40. When Ramit told them they have the 900k, he pointed to the net worth and not investments. They still have a nice amount, but I wouldn’t buy a million dollar house. She also wants to take 200k of their investment for a down payment 😢
He also didn't call out that it's self-serving for fidelity to set that goal. Because they make money off investors... so the more people investing and the more money invested, the better Fidelity's bottom line. She looked at a marketing tool that said "you're behind, invest more" and took it as sacrosanct financial advice.
I feel for both of them. The fear of living the quality life you imagine for yourself in the future along with the fear of not enjoying today is exhausting. They both have legit reasons behind their feelings and serve as a balance to their relationship and success. I think once they figure out how to flow between their 2 extremes and cooperate, their success with blow.
0:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube
Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.
no crazy drama intro....
Thank you very much for the Conscious Spending Plan! I wish you and your amazing guests all the best! ❤
F😮😮😮d
@ramitsethi How should the investment be allocated to earn the 7% annual returns assumed in the calculations?
My team and I see all of your comments about the intro! We're listening and we appreciate the feedback. Here are a few things we've changed in the last few months:
- CSP graphics
- Audio quality
- In-person vs. Zoom
- Followups are on video
- Filming the CSP and other BTS material
- CSP analyses on our Saturday emails
We're always working to improve the pod to make it as useful as possible. Sometimes we don't get it right. Other times, we're going to make a change that you disagree with. As always, thank you for watching.
you should pin this!
Great response.
@ramitsethi, this sounds like a good opportunity to distinguish your product for "hardcore fans" and "algorithm fans"
thank you! ☀️
People love to nitpick. To focus on the intro in an 80 min episode is missing the plot.
LAST NIGHT I RECEIVED THIS UPDATE FROM CHRISTINA AND NOAH:
“Since meeting with Ramit we’ve been very busy getting our environment ready for baby-as we’re now in the 9th month and baby could come anytime!
We’ve spent less time focused on our spreadsheet and focused more on using our finances to work for us.
We enjoyed our week long vacation and spent money without worrying that we’d have enough for retirement. We ate out freely, bought gifts and souvenirs without overthinking “do we really need this?” and generally didn’t budget day to day as we knew we had financially planned for the vacation.
To make our lives easier and more convenient, we’ve been in touch with cleaners and expect to have our first professional cleaning this week! We’ve also engaged more frequent babysitters for a few hours weekly to help us in the chaos of preparing our lives for the baby.
We have been focused on our marriage and have been going to weekly couples therapy too, something we prioritized in the past but weren’t making the space for when we met you.
While this added expense of $1000+ monthly formerly would seem like a major dent in our finances, we know this temporary use of funds is good for our marriage and therefore, a great use of money.
Thanks again for your help Ramit.
We will carry the lessons you brought to our attention with us throughout this year, and I’m sure beyond. Thanks for encouraging us to dream more and focus on building a rich life together, right now.”
THANKS FOR THE UPDATE, KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK. WE WISH YOU BOTH THE BEST!
Thank you for sharing this wonderful update. I hope that they continue on this path. 🙏🏾
Please pin this! So great to see the update.
You need to pin this!!! Thanks for sharing the updates!
Amazing update.🎉 They're going to crush life and create a beautiful life for them and their children.
@@ramitsethi I’m happy for them!! I wanted to see the daycare costs explained more in the video though.
Besides the complete annoyance to listen someone cry over being so poor with $300k a year and $800,000 saved, it’d at least a good reminder that comparison is the theft of joy. Being self confident is beyond valuable
It's easily become my biggest gripe with the show. Oh were broke and can't save but we make 400k a year.
Its annoying as well. But people dont realize how hard it is mentally. Especially if you grew up in a frugal household with parent(s) that dont spend, or maybe had a lot of debt in the past; to now doing well, the mentality is hard. Im going through it now, and even this was annoying to me. It’s hard. So i have compassion because it’s all psychological and spiritual.
Well said.
Well said....
Ramit keeps saying over and over again that he doesn’t only have rich people on his show, but I’ve yet to see otherwise.
Please producers: don’t over refine the show; it’s making it worse. The intro feels like tv but this is UA-cam. The more you refine; the less your core audience will watch.
Yes!
small qov changes are fine though, like the updates to look of CSP and retirement calculator, those are appreciated!
Hey maybe he wants to get picked back up by Netflix for another show. It was the only reality show I was willing to watch.
I personally find the camera jump cuts extremely distracting. It does feel a little too tv production.
Anyone watching at 7am est will still watch with a bit of intro changes... they have to do something to grow retention on longform content.
I have to agree with other commenters. The intro felt like a TV show, not the vibe for an intimate candid conversation. In my opinion of course.
What was with the desperate housewives intro! Please never do that again! We come for the knowledge transfer, not the drama.
it's always been a "lifestyle" channel, it's just now it's unabashedly so.....
I agree. I think it was the result of Ramit’s Netflix experience.😢
Agreed!
Definitely on a cringe level
Desperate housewives intro 😂😂😂 I literally could not stop laughing over this comment 🤣🤣🤣🤣
One more hardcore fan here, pleading with you to not use these kinds of intros. I know you'd probably think "They'll get used to it, there's always backlash with changes", but it really is fixing something that wasn't broken.
THIS ☝️
This couple was confusing, and I agree that it was difficult to connect with them.
Christina dominated most of the conversation. Noah barely talked. But maybe they were nervous, which is understandable. I know I certainly would be.
I felt this couple came on the show to be praised for their amazing financial position, especially at their age. And I'm not a "hater" that has an issue with the wealthier couples. However, something about them was strangely off-putting and unlikable.
Christina cries about her spending worries one second and then her eyes literally lit up when they opened the CSP to show their massive net worth, ZERO debt, and $300K income. She says she's scared they won't have enough money for the future and stresses about $70 dinners but also speaks of purchasing Gucci bags, enrolling her kids in expensive daycare, and pressed her husband on buying a $1M house as if she was asking him to donate a life saving organ.
I think there is always something to learn from the wealthier couples who come on the podcast. However, Christina and Noah came across to me as inauthentic and superficial. Christina's comment about "keeping up with the Joneses" in the update really says it all.
Are Christina and Noah trying to live THEIR rich life or just simply trying to emulate what their rich friends/peers do and have? This is the question I'm left with after this episode.
Regardless, I wish them the best and hope they learn gratitude for everything they have or they will never be happy.
Ramit, I love your work and appreciated your candor as always!
I share this sentiment completely. From what she described her problems are, they all seem to stem from a point whether she gets to live a social media pitch-perfect fantasy and impress people around her. She gets so caught up in it that it literally defines what makes her happy or unhappy. Even her decision of having kids revolves around impressing/pleasing other people. As to Noah, he doesn’t care about it an awful lot, so naturally he doesn’t think most of her spending requests are rational or necessary. It’s so damn tiring listening to their push and pull.
Completely agree
I agree. I fell asleep listening to this episode and before I dozed off my brain concluded that this lady maybe wanted to come on the show just for the sake of being on the show or to be seen. I wish them all the best nonetheless.
I loved every word of this comment.
This girl is so annoying!!!
Homegirl needs some down to earth friends. Some diversity in her life to see how people enjoy life with various levels of income.
Who knows if her comparisons are even correct? People didn't always talk numbers and might imply a lot - and she seems like the type to assume the worst.
If her dream life includes travel, there's no reason for her to feel guilty about it. Money exists to make life good. Budget for needs, giving, saving, and guilt-free spending. If you work hard, you deserve to enjoy your life.
It seems that you get a less polished version of people via zoom and that people are more aware they’re on a show and more guarded in person. I prefer the zoom conversations and the more authentic responses.
Agreed!! I thought it was just me
Agreed !
Completely agree!
It's hard to see people making $300k with ZERO debt worry about how they're not making enough money. I can see the genuine pain with her, and it's crazy to always get slapped back to reality how personal and individual financial situations are. Perspectives are crazy. I hope this couple can find a great place in the middle. Ramit, I really REALLY liked your point where you told her she has, "...a dramatic mis-calibration of what a lot of money means," and how it will make her feel bad about money all the time. This woman is incredibly anxious.
FR she was making me anxious the whole time
I think it’s a legitimate concern to worry about being laid off when you are such an expensive salary line item in a company. 300k. I’d rather make 100 and have job security.
@@latulip100 they make more than enough money to plan around that. They just seem to worry unproductively and that was hard to watch. Also these days no one has job security. I worked for a big tech company known for firing long-term workers...just before they were to receive their pension. Corporations are evil and don't expect anyone to be safe from their greed.
@@latulip100 they make that together though, so each of them is like half.
@@latulip100that’s a reflection of your own unconscious fears. Neither of them makes $300k. They make that together. And salary is uncorrelated to job security.
Glad I’m not the only one bothered by this episode. 800k net worth, $300k income, private preschool, $10k in cash sitting on a shelf for a few years but I want a Gucci purse so let’s go cry on a show about money. What in the alternate universe did I just watch?
Couldn’t have said it better myself 😂
How psychology fits into money
What exactly is your issue with the episode?
@@factorfitness3713 Christina, is that you ?
I want to call out that I think Ramit models male feminism really well. I so, SO love that you can see him get personally upset by sexism and by the idea of it getting perpetuated to future generations. Also, the way he always speaks about his wife as an absolutely respected and equal partner despite him (literally) being the financial expert in the relationship. It feels really good to see someone with a big platform and influence openly care about gender equality and respect.
I agree. He has such a modern vision of what marriage and partnership should be, and I love it.
Here’s your reminder that what you consider sexism is likely uncomfortable truths that modern feminists are scared to acknowledge.
@bdp295 Here's your reminder that I described his feminism as respecting his wife as an equal in their partnership. If you find that uncomfortable and impossible to imagine being true, you have a lot of work to do before your "opinions" count as anything other than boilerplate bigotry. Thoughts and prayers to any of the women in your life, little buddy.
@@Friendlyfish-p2gmen have always respected women, men built the world and maintain the work for women.
This lady constantly contradicts herself and stresses about both sides of every coin. She's exhausting to listen to and I can't watch in one sitting. The dramatics sound like they are starving on $25k a year, not like their 300k salary!! PS, like others, I like the more intimate old video style.
Exactly!
@@teekeylahnc2021 the most exhausting person on his show so far. She must be DEPLETED of energy all the time
Yeah I don’t think I’m going to finish this episode it’s just not even remotely relatable.
Same. I started listening to this this morning and I keep stopping to do other things and then coming back to it because I actually feel stressed out listening to this and watching her continue to cry. No shade to her, but watching her made me start to feel anxious, which is why I keep stopping.
She loves her drama. It keeps her going.
It’s so cringy to see a couple under 40 (especially the wife) with over 850K in net worth so anxious about their money and envious about those who have even more. So often the people who are doing terrific with money don’t want to accept that they’re doing fine or even alright with money. This couple is better than about 95% of couples their age in the United States. And compared to the world as a whole, the United States is better off than nearly every other place when it comes to financial opportunity. It’s absurd to feel like you need over 3 times your salary invested at 40 when your combined income is 300K a year.
If she couldn’t afford to raise 2 or 3 kids, and send them to college, no one could. I say this as someone who also had my parents pay for my college as well as my sisters. And we both went to college around the time of the great recession. My parents raised us in a high cost of living area and didn’t have nearly as much wealth as them prior to getting married. Even adjusted for inflation.
That’s the thing I don’t understand!! There are people who’ve had way less and had a larger family but made it. It’s her entitled attitude of I CANNOT have thrifted clothes 🙄 lady I lived off of hand me downs, your kids will outgrow them in a few months anyways, it’s so wild how delusional these couples have been on this show lately.
If you’re this stressed, don’t have more kids, but if kids are your dream then you need to have a life that centers around that.
@@mrs.quills7061 The crazy part is they don't even need to thrift, they could just buy kids stuff at Target and she could buy items less often and they'd still have plenty. I honestly found the comment she made about "maybe they need to get kids toys at garage sales" to be really out of touch and entitled once I found out their income. It's like pretending to be poor to enjoy the self flagellation of it and must feel like a slap in the face for anyone actually stretching to make ends meet. I wish he had unpacked their childhoods more, but it was a lot and I'm sure frustrating for him. I'm glad they are going back to therapy as a couple and hope she does some individual as well to recalibrate. I did really appreciate him calling them out for their lack of gratitude.
@@mrs.quills7061 She works hard to earn her money. How is that entitled?
This couple has the best post-interview feedback and thoughts. Both of them responded individually and together, and they outlined clear actionable next steps. Feels like they really benefited from it. Can’t say the same for many other couples on this channel…
Regarding the person that told you to focus on your career v. having a baby: don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from.
Damn right! Well said. I wish more people followed this advice.
It's a huge concern when one of them says "I" in all of their answers, while the other person remains quiet. Where is the "we"?
Well, he does not seem to think there’s an issue and he squashes her dreams instead. So she feels like she’s alone and he’s quiet because he’s like “I don’t need to be here”. That’s where the problem lies.
@@VBoo459 the problem with her is that she has no self restraint. She'd wish for the moon if she could and then some. How do you even plan with someone like that?
@@VBoo459 But isn't that the point of this show- to discuss what each partner is bringing to the table? His money perspective is important also. This episode felt like privileged whining and he seems pretty used to it and is checked out. Why not give some kudos to him for getting them to this point where they are crushing it?
Agree! The house "I" want, the life "I" want.....
The discussion is about the dynamic between the two individuals
Not gonna lie…it was a bit overwhelming to see someone with so much financial privilege yet be stuck on worrying about not having enough and spending. 😶
To Ramit & producers: The old format of the at home video calls are better because it’s almost as if Ramit transports himself into the homes of a couples while they are having a difficult but necessary conversation about money after a long work day and after the kids have been put to bed. I haven’t come across a single podcast/show like it. I understand going viral is important but you can tell from a lot of the comments that the people who tune in every episode aren’t here for that type of content. There are channels that do the financial entertainment clickbait thing very well. Hopefully this channel doesn’t turn into that. Regardless I wish you guys nothing but success with everything!
Well said!
I agree. I noticed a significant change in the candid nature of the conversations when the podcast went to UA-cam (and participants knew they would be seen) and I perceived another major decline in the authenticity when the conversations moved in person. They also seem far less actionable and solutions-oriented than the early episodes. I want this excellent podcast to reach a wide audience but I hope they can make changes that the algorithm rewards without losing the quality of these important conversations.
@@embodiedsinger436oooh yes. I totally agree with this !!
Something about this couple is rubbing me the wrong way. I can understand worrying about the future but she is stressing ME out. They are in such a privileged position that most folks will never reach and she isn’t seeing that. Not to mention her doing an excessive amount of talking and comparing everything they have to her peers. Idk maybe it’s me but I’m annoyed with her ideology. Also, she isn’t the driver she thinks she is.
Annnndddd…I agree with the majority here. NO to this intro!! Please go back to the Zoom setting. I’m still a fan of the show.
That something is their privilege. I almost lost it when she was acting like it would be criminal to get thrift clothes 🙄
Whatever you do do not hang out around pregnant women because this is what it's like to be around a pregnant woman. As a woman who's been pregnant three times it gets worse the closer you get to your due date too.
@@mrs.quills7061 YES!!! I gave her a crazy side eye when she said this. But what if she wants to treat herself to a $1000 Gucci bag?!?! 😒🙄
@@mrs.quills7061 thank you- yes! The "we'll be THOSE people"- if she has to shop at thrift store and eat "terrible food". Get a grip.
I feel the same way, can’t put my finger on it.
ok, after watching the full episode I just don't get what the issue was here. No debt, almost a million in net worth, mid 30s, growing family. They seem to be hitting all the milestones that you're "supposed" to. I don't get why they applied. There were a lot of words, but hardly anything substantial was said. I feel like the wife mostly just wanted a reassuring pep talk from Ramit. As a fellow mid-30s millennial -- I found this episode incredibly annoying.
Agreed! I don't get why they applied but more importantly, I don't get why they were chosen to come on the show!!
Could not even finish it and was yelling at them in my car!
The insatiable need for pats on the back
This is a money *psychology* podcast, not Dave Ramsey. Perception is a strong piece of this. This episode, in particular, reinforces a lot of Ramit's common themes.
The problem is Noah just doesn't have a spark. No vision, no excitement for life's possibilities.
I don't blame him for being hesitant to commit to a million dollar house. It's always possible to get in over your head and end up struggling unnecessarily, regardless of income.
But he didn't provide an alternative vision. "Honey, we could move here and buy a great house for half that much and then be able to do X, Y and Z which we wouldn't be able to do if we bought a million dollar house"
If you are going to shoot down one dream you should at least provide an alternative dream.
This! This is a fantastic explanation of what feeks off about his responses. I'm struggling with this right now, but internally. Part of me wants a house and dreams about what I could do to make it my own. The other part doesn't want to sell myself into slavery for a home since the cheapest ones in my area are only affordable if I sacrifice the other parts of my life that I enjoy.
Nope. He’s ok with renting.
@@michellegreen1072 He's ok with basically not doing anything at all
Hard to have vision when you have a toxic woman that sucks up all of your energy with her negativity due to her personality disorder
For those in the comment talking about her being emotional and crying, please remember that she is pregnant.
Also with buying a gucci bag, it shows its true intentions.
Also, some people are just prone to crying during challenging convos. If she finds this a tough topic, that may be how she responds to the "stress".
This lady needs to be grateful for what she has...
She is that’s why she doesn’t want to waste it. I don’t understand how everyone is mad that she doesn’t have the attitude of “I’m rich let’s blow it”
There's a very real need for people with big incomes to plan for the worst. Her concerns about layoffs or not being able to work til 60 or whatever are very valid.
Hey Ramit, I would love to see you interview couples that make 150k and under if possible. 🙏🏻 Thank you.
I mentioned this in a comment on last week’s video and was attacked. Some stated I should submit an application myself or go to another channel that peddles eating rice and beans to save money (wow! The assumptions that were made about me). He doesn’t interview singles, which is different territory when it comes to finances and tax code, and it easy to figure out finances when you have disposable income.
@@CambieSweetsit’s because some long time followers don’t want to admit this podcast has been changing a lot. I too would love to just see average earners again.
Yes!! Average income is what should be interviewed as that’s most people in the US! And I need to see under 100K and singles because not everyone is with someone being able to maximize their income.
@@CambieSweetsamen. As a single woman I mostly watch this to mock couples and feel relieved I’m single. Yeah I’m struggling at time but I don’t have to deal with any kind of whining over handbags.
Agree with you 100%. At 54 I have only recently broken over the $100k mark in salary - after 24 years in my field! And I thought I was doing okay...until I see all these 20/30 somethings on every episode now it seems in the $300k - $600k (and up).
And don't say it depends where you live. I live in an EXTREMELY high cost of living area in Canada where an average shithole house would cost over $1million. Our gas is way more expensive, our groceries are way more expensive, etc. And my salary is quite a bit higher than average for here. We are fucked lol.
I was finding her so exhausting but at the end it becomes clear that he feeds into her anxiety and is the negative nelly who says no to everything!
100%. He saw his parents being very frugal and questioning every expenses. So now as an adult he’s simply doing the same thing, BUT has no intentions behind it. He questions her so much but then doesn’t come to a decision or provide an alternative. Way to leave your partner hanging and frustrated.
And she said she ate cheap meals and bad food and had no money in her 20s and now having money feels so guilty to spend anything on herself. She doesn’t have the self esteem or trust herself, and so she wants something… but like Ramit said, she GIVES that power over to her husband, who will gladly say no and “keep her on track”. What a weird thing to say about a romantic partner, she’s an adult, not your child, so glad Ramit pointed that out. So he loves saying no to everything as it’s what his parents did, and she has zero self trust or self esteem and so she questions everything and asks her husband to help her, but he just squashed the dream. This is just a dead end dynamic, idk how they’re doing ok together AND with another baby on the way.
Their finances are GREAT, zero issues. That net worth is crazy to have as mid 30s!!! They need individual and couples therapy to work out these issues and better able to live their life and be better partners to each other.
they are in their 30's and havent even hit their actual expenses of life, their kids are young or unborn, the real money hits after 10 and doesn't stop until 25. assuming their incomes and returns are going to go on forever is wild. Noah might be a tightwad, but frankly her early 20's consumer debt is a indication of her future because, even after couples therapy, she still acts the exact same way. she comes off as uncoachable even by professionals.
Felt more like a coping mechanism to me. I envisioned that in the past they've done the thing where they made the purchase or spent the money and he had to deal with her constantly bringing up her guilt over it and agonizing over the "wasted" money, so he slotted into the role he saw in his childhood "do we need to buy it, let's think on it for awhile."
The intro was not it. Please don’t move to that format. It makes it feel like these episodes aren’t authentic and that they’re staged.
You mean everyone doesn't weep and wail about scarcity when they make $300k?
What stands out to me in these comments is that a) people really lack empathy when they are jealous and b) the life they are living is solidly middle class. Not upper class. Not wealthy.
In America that means having a constant fear that everything you've worked for can be snatched out from under you in an instant because of a) unexpected healthcare costs, b) rising college costs, c) housing costs, d) unexpected job loss with no protections.
All of this anxiety is driven by the fact that we have no social safety net and are constantly told that if one of these things happens it's because you "didn't plan properly." It's your fault you lost your job! It's your fault you got sick! It's your fault for not putting enough in your 401k! It's your fault you decided to have kids! It's your fault you don't have enough saved for college! Etc. Etc.
This means that for people who are planners and are prone to anxiety, there is a A LOT to worry about and try to plan for and the anxiety becomes a pattern even when they are meeting the goals.
Now add pregnancy hormones to that and the feeling that everything you've been trying to "plan" for is in chaos. It's no wonder she's crying.
Personally, I just want to hug her and tell her that she has planned well and she'll be ok.
The simple truth is that in America financial stability is a house of cards, so of course, people don't ever feel secure or like they have enough!
(I'm not even touching on the fact that we also have the constant contradicting messages that we shouldn't worry about this and should live our "best" "rich" life filled with joy and "buy. all. the. things." And are fed a constant stream of media with people selling luxury lifestyles.
Well said. The lack of empathy is very concerning.
❤❤❤
The old format felt way more authentic. Please change it back.
Agreed
I like it when Ramit gets down to how couples grow up, because that is where their mindset comes from. Attitudes about money start very early. Two people come together and get married and no wonder there is conflict as far as money.
The dive into their background and family stories are my favorite part of the show. It really underscores the psychology of money.
Another episode where my opinion has morphed by the end. Really fascinating and I highly suggest people watch til the end before commenting about how annoying she is for worrying to much. A lot of this is based on their dynamic, not just her being "crazy".
Yes!!
And it felt like he was trying to come off as so chill and reasonable, even while saying no to stuff that they can actually afford.
Which is making her dizzy because she's the one in the numbers and she actually knows inside that they can afford things.
But because he's always so cool and collected while he's always like no, it pushes her back and she's like woahhh....do I have enough?
Am I crazy?
And she's struggling to reconcile that with the fact that she actually knows what it means to not have enough and this ain't it lol. 😂
And that, plus pregnancy hormones, is probably why she's flapping around and looking crazy.
I hope they go to therapy and keep working on it lol. She seems like a nice lady, they're a good couple. They just need to work on some things.
@@Aquaria2291agreed! He seems numb to life. I wonder if he was just saying / doing what he thought he “should” because he has no connection to how he really feels or what he really wants from life.
So glad Ramit called out that he’s not feeling like he’s connecting to them, i got this vibe too - very performative until we finally got to the numbers
She absolutely was not "hearing" Ramit. Usually participants have this aha! moment where he suggests maybe it's not about the numbers or the spreadsheets but their emotions and it connects with them. She just did not want to hear that at all so she refused to switch to an emotions discussion. She really only viewed it on her own terms (i.e. the CSP isn't specific enough I need a more-detailed excel, I need 3x my salary at X age and you're looking at the joint numbers, what if I lose my job 20 years from now, etc.)
I'm only 30 mins into this, and really resonate with Christina's worrying and thought processes re: "not enough" yet essentially over-saving/investing so much she is stressed about money.
Me too I definitely understand cos she is me . The difference is I’m a single mom so it’s very exhausting
@@komeogbedobor6774 I'm single, divorced at 40, and always felt behind because of those stupid "you should have X times your income saved" things. Numbers that don't factor in other life circumstances that have impacted being able to save for retirement, much less investing at an earlier age...
Next time I start getting into a worry loop I'm going to pull this episode up to watch what I'm doing to myself: it's painful!
Sending you so much respect for being a single mom. I'm sure you're teaching your daughter how to do money right, and live as good a life as possible.
i think ramit missed the most significant reason.. she is thinking about the biological clock alot(age now, retirement, her place in time not meeting guidelines of where she should be). she wants 3 kids but fears she cant afford even just 2. its all about wanting 3 kids but needing to save to afford 2 kids and her biological clock is running out.. the guilt of $1k purses or $70 meals with friends is about then not affording the 3rd child lifestyle. she hopes to get pregnant with 3rd kid soon
I see people afford 2 and 3 kids on way less than 300k they definitely have an inflated lifestyle but even with that I think they could easily afford a 3rd kid.
Granted I don’t know where they live so it may depend on that. I mean she’s talking about 1million dollar homes and their rent is 5.4k so either hella lifestyle inflation or HCOL area
I found it hard to believe that she's so worried about these smaller purchases but at the same time wants a $1M house. That doesn't track for me at all.
@@aleahugginsshe wants what the kardashians have
This couple reminds me of myself, both the man and the woman. At first I was like Noah, saver/dream-killer. After having a near-death experience (heart attack) in my 30's, I am now like Christina where I am encouraging my spouse to spend more and to rethink how much money do we actually need. Since the heart-attack, I've reduced my investing goals and have elected to spend a bit more to enjoy life for myself, my wife, and my young daughter. This was a great conversation.
"I think you have a dramatic miscalculation of what a lot of money means". Thank you, Ramit.
That intro feels like you pulled it straight out of Caleb Hammer's playbook.
which is NOT a compliment :(
I liked Caleb in the beginning also... but he's gone off the rails talking with people who are simply freaking RIDICULOUS. It's like Soft White Underbelly meets YNAB. not good.
@@leannwilson2640I used to like him too but now his show is nothing but e girls and influencers who blow their money on sex workers, parties and the whole get up. It’s sad really.
“We spend two thirds of my income on childcare” - why is childcare always compared to / taken from the mother’s income?
They were pretty clear about combined finances. I'm assuming in this context they were toying with the idea of her becoming a stay-at-home mom rather than work and pay for daycare if costs exceeded her income.
Yes thank you for saying this! It's so 🤮
This episode was so powerful. I is amazing to see them work through the money stories they tell themselves. Amazing episode to see how deeply the stories that we tell ourselves keeps us from seeing the reality of the numbers. Episode have been getting better and better, makes you think and reflect!
Hate the beginning. Reminds me of a scripted talk show. We love authentic like before 😭
This woman worries too much and overthinks everything! I can understand her because i do the same thing!
my partner is like this.
Yes, she's a little annoying.
She does overthink - but also she is constantly comparing to the people around her. she really does care about what other people are doing around her
@@madisontran3020 Probably not smart to post about that
@@DeidreRichard-r6ryou’re right 😅 delete
Man I hope Christina considers surrounding herself with less toxic peers! It sounds like friends or coworkers are pushing some really unhelpful ideals. Best of luck to her and Noah, seems like they left with some great takeaways.
Or she could grow up and stop comparing to everyone else. They might be in debt to their eyeballs.
Peers? Looks like she needs to get off Instagram and TikTok.
And less social media. Always less social media. 😂
We had some family friends who were doing just great but man did they hang around toxic people constantly talking about their money. Our friends are doing well, their kids doing well, but like, so and so has enough to buy a Lamborghini (haha, maybe they have enough or maybe not…) so must feel bad out myself and what I’ve achieved …yikes it was so toxic and so hard to try to explain to them
It's a problem when you think a normal life is a million dollar house, $100🎉0 gucci bags, top tier daycare, and multiple vacations.
Also, comparison is the thief of joy.
Normal is relative. My old boss told me once that his economic and my economic is different. Dont try to understand the people thats on a different tier of social economic ladder. We were in the lounge at CGD and over hear these 2 gentleman talking about the dreadfulness of fly commercial.
I’m massively guilty of this but you’re so right. I think we’ve completely shifted what the definition of normal means now and the new “normal” isn’t even average. It’s WAYY beyond that. Upper class lifestyle and yet normal is meant to mean conforming to the standard/majority. This lifestyle like you said is NOT normal.
IMO you’re right and also wrong. Normal means conforming to the standard, generally the majority of people follow it. It becomes a norm. Anything beyond that is not. So whilst you overhear 2 gentlemen dreading flying commercial, majority people do fly commercial = it’s normal to fly commercial. I personally love flying business (hate commercial) but it’s not normal. Even if someone has a difference economic to you, there is still everyone else in that country or region which is what dictates what is normal. Ofc you can say it’s normal amongst your peers, but it’s not normal amongst your area.
To this couple: Thank you. You guys did what I would find impossible to do i.e. open up and be extremely vulnerable and have an authentic and honest discussion about something so personal with a stranger infront of millions of strangers all over the world. You guys are authentic and real. Thank you because this was extremely enlightening and provoked deep thought within myself and I’m almost certain so many others who watched this show to learn from you.
To Ramit: thank you for having high net worth couples on your show. Most of what you see on the internet is to help those with low net worths. I would never see this level of detail on Dave Ramsey’s show for example.
This was one of my favorite episodes. I watched it 3 times because of how authentic and honest this couple was.
I wish you guys all the best on figuring out your rich life.
also to the twisted dynamic "daddies make the decisions, mommies are just there to ask" Ramit points out:
I grew up with this dynamic in my parents and it's infuriating to witness, and the secondhand anxiety sucks hard. If mom went rogue and bought, like the expensive strawberries at the store because I thought they looked good, the guilt and stress I felt in my stomach was physical until I knew whether or not my dad would be a jerk. Meanwhile, my dad did whatever he wanted and never had to justify his extra spending.
I remember my mind was blown at age 13 when my aunt bought several hundred dollars worth of ceramics for herself without any consultation needed. It's so important to have someone model healthy relationships around money to kids, and it would save a lot of anguish if it's the parents themselves.
At 1:08, Ramit I really appreciate your point about "mommies ask for things and daddies say no".
I find it interesting that the name of the channel is I will teach you to be rich but so many of the people who he interviews would already be considered rich by so many people. I mean trying to decide whether to spend $1000 on a Gucci bag? $800,000 new worth at their ages? Hard to understand the tears from someone who earns what she does. $300,000!
That’s the point “rich” is relative before ramit I didn’t understand I was wealthy
Mahdi is right and I will add that what you are both also missing is this concept of rich isnt only about a high number in the bank. its a mindset mixed with a high number that will give you options to live what you consider your rich life. go grab his book, second edition or at very least watch all his vids. life changing. i already have my co workers and nieces and nephews investing and caring about money now
He used to interview normal/average people. Lately it’s been these entitled trust fund kids.
I have watch every episode . I couldn't stomach this one
Facts!!! These people are financially healthy! Like Gucci bags?!
I’m surprised one of her major takeaways was that she was disrespectful to her husband. I thought it was mutual. I hope they come out of this stronger, this brought up a lot of issues in the relationship.
yeah that honestly shook me and gave weird Trad wife vibes. Like Ramit said they have that classic sitcom dynamic and she actually seems to thrive on that and want to be the "nagging wife". Hopefully it can be worked out with therapy.
Agreed, that gave me the ick big time. That word gets thrown around a lot in abusive dynamics, which hopefully isn't their case. Glad to hear they're seeking couple's therapy.
One of my favorite follow-up segments yet. Wishing them all the best. I think they'll do great.
Has no one ever used a compound interest calculator?!
I’m 76.
I love the discussions about what couples’ money lives were like growing up.
I feel extremely lucky to have grown up with smart and frugal money parents, who lived a VERY rich life all the way into their mid-90s, as did my first husband. We separated when our son was 5 but stayed close. Together we never (that I recall) had a negative money discussion. We haven’t been together for 40 years, but both sold our businesses in 2005 and even today once in a while talk about money and investing.
Our son and his family also live a very rich life. Hoping we passed on healthy money attitudes.
Earlier today I was judging this woman for complaining that she makes less than her peers/friends, a few hours later, I found out an acquaintance makes significantly more than me and I am now this lady! I make a good living and I like my job (mostly) but now I can't stop thinking about how much more this person must have than me. God has never corrected me so swiftly and harshly. I've been checked. 😬 I'm sorry for judging. 💯
Yes! This episode I think was brilliant because the fears/ comparisons have nothing to do with the amount we make
I feel like I’m missing information that often helps when listening- what do each of them do? And where do they live?
I love the show.
I still can’t comprehend people making shit ton talking about not making enough.
Right?
I really enjoyed their perspective, my husband had a similar mindset. I call it being 401k poor, it took me a long time to help him understand that it was ok to lower investing while we were paying for childcare to reduce our stress.
I find it very difficult to dream, myself. I've never had a lot of money and always felt behind. This one definitely hit home. Maybe I too am the dream crusher.
My wife started her own art and crafts retail store a year ago. She's barely breaking even and can't contribute anything financially to the household. I'm barely keeping up. On the one hand I want to give her time to grow her store, her dream. On the other hand I can't keep the level of financial pressure up. I have 0 guilt free spending. But what about my dreams? I feel like I can't dream because we can't afford it anyway.
I fear becoming a dream crusher by discussing closing the store in a year if she's still not able to financially contribute. Really tough situation.
Maybe you can try sitting down and looking at your numbers together and showing her how tight your finances are. Then sit back and let her come up with a way to free up your money. She might want to give it a year, she might want to increase her prices or cut costs. She might be ready to close it down but doesn't want to feel like she's wasted hers and your time and money. It's really important that you speak with truth and not fear and don't try to :solve the problem" rather come together to map out next steps. Haha... just my two cents, I've been listening to this podcast waaaayyyy too much 😂
@@gomezdiana84 Thank you. We talk about it weekly. We know each other's positions. Thanks to Ramit for giving me the words to discuss it and voice my concerns and frustrations. She really wants to come up with another way of making money and she feels really bad about having to rely on me to such an extent that everything I make goes to the family finances.
You sound like a great team - I hope you and your wife get through it and find a solution that both of you feel great about ❤️
@@mainsocial1105 Thank you. Appreciate it :)
The fast paced sneak peak style can be good but those white flashes in the intro 😵💫😵💫 also perhaps something less “Jerry springer” for the background music lol
I had the same exact thought for the background music
oh hush lol. any change everyone is freaking out
@@lowlowseesee lol totally agree. I’m half convinced it was done as a parody
I thought they were going to bring in someone else like a secret lover half the way through the show. Haha. Jerry Jerry!
Haha yes! Jerry Springer!!! The bg music seemed so intense 🤣
Ramit, can you have someone who is dirt-poor, on your youtube soon ? Like a struggling single mom working as a cashier. It would be very interesting to see the mindsets of people who are stuck in poverty cycles :)
Why does this feel like reality tv
Right down to the fact that everyone is now rich it seems.
Thank you Ramit to call them out for being ungrateful! Thank you for being honest!
Gotta agree. Can we go back to the original intro?
Sorry, I just cannot relate to people making 300,000 a year (with almost a million net worth), complaining about their money issues any longer. People come here for insights on for help when they are making an average wage and spending 120% of their income each month. This couple saves more each month than the average lower middle class person brings home. Listen, good on them, but this podcast is almost turning into Dr. Phill for upper class people.
Watch out! You’re going to have the flying monkeys in your comments soon with this one 😄 Ramit addressed this last week in his video because others have voiced what you have. He swears his guests are diverse and we can all learn from the advice he’s offering them.
Ramit did call em out for that tho! specifically her. practically called them ungrateful!
I felt frustrated watching this, I’m glad Ramit was too. They aren’t grateful. They have only been thinking of themselves. I hope they can find some joy in spending and giving.
Giving!! My advice to them too 🙌
The first 50 minutes the husband seemed avoidant and intentionally provoke his wife at home. The wife appeared unhinged, self centered and a little hostile towards her husband but I just said it’s probably pregnancy hormones (I’ve been the crazy pregnant lady before too lol). After Ramit told them he was not connecting with them is when I started to see a shift in their attitudes and them coming together as a team 👏🙌❤️
I agree 100% on the pregnancy hormones, I guarantee that is why she is crying. I think it was because Remy connected with them first because all they wanted to talk about was superficial things and he helped connect with them on an emotional level which is great for a guy who says he doesn't have very many emotions.
This entire episode is instructive in how important it is to stop the catastrophic thought spirals rather than indulging them. I get that it can feel good to cry and feel sorry for yourself, especially in the midst of lots of stress. But wow, there were so many specific scenarios presented here as highly likely to the point they (Christina) wanted to obsess over them decades in advance, like the possibility that she would get laid off at 62 and be forced to start her retirement earlier than expected. As someone who was almost killed when a car hit me in a crosswalk, let me tell you... worrying about what ifs is an incredible waste of time and energy. You have NO idea what might happen. There is NO point in following your anxiety into such a deep, dark, hole. You might feel like it's just being realistic and prepared but come on, you know it's not. It's just anxiety controlling your life and wringing the joy out of it.
As to the husband- The guardrail vs dreamcrusher point is a very good one that I hope he takes it to heart. The condescending "I know better/I don't have such complicated needs/I'm not the problem" undertone needs to go, though.
Not the doooooooom intro with music and quick lines. Please Ramit donttttttt do them😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
I had the same reaction : eteeen this and the 5 minute Ad reads I might have to bow out after 2years of watching
I find them kinda funny reminds me of like old tv shows. Retro
Comparison is the theft of joy
What a sweet, normal, relatable, and vulnerable couple. So much good ahead for them!
This is amazing to me - their incomes combined for one month is what I make in a year as a 43 yo single mom of two kids in CALIFORNIA. I really hope they gained some perspective on how fortunate they are and not be so anxious about their future.
Is it just me, or did we not find out what they do for a living, who earns what, the expenses, etc? It seems like something has changed from previous episodes.
I'm assuming stuff was cut in the final edit. I believe the couple has final say in what goes so they may not have wanted to disclose those things. Just a guess.
This episode felt like US Kitchen Nightmares. Not a fan.
Dear Ramit,
I hope you get a chance to read this. We singles need this from you as well, as marriage and partnership isn't in the cards for everyone. However, it would be nice to get our money psychology right before entering relationships if the opportunity presents itself. When better to work on it, while in your season of singleness? Love the show. Thanks!
The last 2 episodes have been difficult to relate to or have empathy for the couples. High earners trying to keep up with the Jones’ isn’t a reality for the vast majority of Americans. The $100k-$200k annual household income couples with children are truly the demographic I want to learn from. The $250k+ households have plenty of cushion.
Ramit stated at the top of last week’s episode that his guests are VERY diverse. He prefaced with that because you aren’t the first to voice this pattern of high earners on the show. I agree with you that his past few guest aren’t reflecting the majority. Honestly, it’s beginning to feel like he’s inviting people from his circle of life into the show, or at least people in close proximity. It may be the norm in an upper middle class circle that these people think they’re struggling.
@@CambieSweetsyou know I didn’t think that, that he’s inviting people in these circles. Maybe to show them how entitled they are? I don’t know.
@@mrs.quills7061 It was just a thought. Entitlement is definitely a psychological mindset.
I'm finding it harder and harder to relate. I had to stop the one with the woman making $2.2 million. Some of these are just so far from my reality that it isn't even interesting to me - and hearing them bitch is even less so.
Yet again, the idea that the AMOUNT you make literally doesn’t matter flies right over people watching this podcast. I’m sure Ramit giggles each time someone complains the episodes are “difficult to relate to” because they’re trying to relate to the wrong things
Lollllll when Ramit said DREAM SQUASHER! I’ve never seen you this annoyed before but I agree. Gratitude is so important. A lot of couples that come on this show blow my mind at what they’ve achieved and the lack of gratitude and pride. But what I LOVE about this podcast is no matter how much I don’t get or relate to the couple at the beginning, I feel connected to them and rooting for them by the end. You’re incredible Remit! I’ve learned so much from this.
Please go back to the old format! Intro was super dramatic and felt like the beginning of the Maury show
I'm so impressed with Ramit calling out this man! From the beginning he sat there oozing smug superiority and having the right of veto over every idea, no matter how tiny and insignificant!
Easy for you to say, you’re not him, you don’t have to work to earn that money for the next 30 years. They aren’t even a quarter way to that 11 million. They still have to lay the foundation for that goal and if he should get derailed early it won’t happen.
If they should fail to make it, he will get blamed not her. He definitely can lighten up a bit but not as much as you think.
Yeah, “keeping her in check” was such a weird thing to say
Thank you for saying people are using words like "gaslighting" way more and way out of context. The economy isn't the worst, but inflation is bad.
I'm surprised at how much Ramit is missing on this? She was crying talking about how poor she was in her 20s. I'm only assuming but it seems like her fear and anxiety greatly stems from not wanting to experience that again. And all Ramit is doing (thus far where I'm at in the episode) is showing them numbers, but that contradicts what he always says, and does so earlier on in the episode, that this isn't a numbers problem it's an emotional one. She likely needs to work through the trauma of being very poor at a certain point in her life. Feeling so afraid of it suddenly happening again and that she's behind in life because of it. You can see her circular reasoning is because there's a disconnect between recognizing that her reality isn't her past that shes so hypervigilant about. I hope more happens around that as i continue to listen. Saying that he's not connecting with them but entirely missing the root of her fear???
I have four kids and raising them is for sure expensive but I also think people who are high earners put off having kids because they’re over thinking it.
There is no “,right time.” It pains me to watch my adult kids waiting for everything to be “right. “ Nope, life doesn’t work that way. Mom of eight here. You don’t need a lot of things for kids. Do your own thing; not what media “ tells you to.” I can’t imagine ruminating like this, round and round, instead of getting on with living. How much joy is she taking away from her pregnancy and having a toddler. I find this profoundly sad.
@@CAGChannel1 Do you think it's worth waiting for your employer to pay for IVF or just to suck it up and spend the 30K rather than wait a year?
@@cheyenne7982 how old are you? First kid? Do you want a big family? Do you have the basics, like can eat decently ( not just ramen while pregnant), any health problems that will be worse in a year? So many variables! But……….if everything is good, or there is a reason where a year can change things for the wise ( age, health, etc.), you most likely won’t regret jumping in straight away. Meaning, this won’t ultimately matter; what will matter is a healthy child. Ya know what I mean?
@@CAGChannel1you don’t think they should wait 1 year to save 30k? That seems like bad advice
@@cheyenne7982 mandatory disclaimer, I don't want kids but I would wait.
That's like asking if you would stay at your job for another year for a 30k bonus.
Ummm unless I had another opportunity that would pay me 40k, hell yes.
Also consider that (and I hope this isn't the case for you), sometimes, the first round doesn't take and you may need additional tries.
Not sure what your employer will offer in that case, but I would wait the year, stack the 30k in a HYSA, and then take the benefit.
That way, if you need another round, whatever the deal is, you're in good shape.
Or prayerfully, you'll have 30k+ extra to get ready for your baby and get a jump start on that college fund lol.
Good luck, hope everything goes well.
To be honest , i prefer the vidéo format. Being in the same room , People restrain their self .they speak more to each other and are not as honest as they are : because they control their non verbal communication...
Thanks for another great episode. I laughed out loud when she said she needs to calculate how much she needs to feel good. And loved your self burn about parents looking at a report card to determine if they are proud of their kids
They are delusional. Their situation is very good. She’s creating issues and problems all over. Her emotional psychology is what needs work
Ramit, your facial expressions are always such an important part of the show, but from this angle we only get your profile and cant see your great expressions!
Oof, I wish them good luck but it was hard to see another couple who seemed very unaware and, worse, uninterested to be aware of what the MEDIAN INCOME in their city is. When you make this much money, and don’t bother to put it into the context of the city you live in, it just comes across as ungrateful, disrespectful and entitled.
So glad you said it! I honestly couldn't continue watching. Really getting exhausted with rich people on this show crying about not having enough money 😪.
I agree a 1000% with you. It was hard to watch her crying about how if she wants to buy an over a million home when most of us can hardly even afford a home at all. I decided to blame her pregnancy hormones so I can finish the video.
@@chumabanjwa4662 to be completely transparent, I am one of those "rich" people (i make a lot higher than their income) so I want to acknowledge that I understand how people can end up making a lot of money and losing touch with the fact that it is a lot of money. But I've also come to understand that with more money should come more responsibility to educate yourself and learn about my own privilege in the context of the community/city that I am a member of. Gratitude and acknowledgement of privilege goes a long way in being a better member of our communities..
@@francoralI stopped watching it halfway through, so you did a better job than me. I almost stopped watching after her crying nonsense, but wanted to still give it a try.
Completely agree. And if it’s not this couple, it’s been the last 4 couples who’ve been on. Just entitled trust fund kids from NYC that cannot fathom the horrors of having to thrift clothes 😱 meanwhile the rest of us are struggling to pay for food or have a safe place to sleep.
im so tired of rich people acting poor
That's probably why they are rich.
@@RedJ5794rich by income is different than rich by wealth which is why it’s annoying to see people like this
@@RedJ5794they didn’t save to a 300k income
Exactly!! It’s so hard to swallow. Every episode goes like this:
Ramit, I can’t fit all my cash in the closet of my yacht! What am I doing wrong? - It’s ok Rich Lady. I can teach you to be rich already. Just buy a second yacht with your allocated crapload of money. Update: They did buy the second yacht on their month long trip to Europe but are still no happier. Getting therapy. 🙄
How much does Noah make and how much does his “poor “ wife make?
How sad to be making that kind of income at such a young age and not to be able to enjoy it. To overthink every possible situation that could happen in life that would hinder one from meeting a goal leaves you feeling helpless and vulnerable. This is no way to live. I pity her. There are no guarantees in life. So you save what you can, spend what you must, and go and enjoy life. You don't have to have a million dollar house to enjoy life. Life does not consist of the abundance of things but rather in the abundance of relationships. Friends, family, children, spouse, these are the things that make life fulfilling and rewarding. When you die, you leave all of your possessions behind. What really matters in life is your relationships with others and having a full life serving others.
Why does everyone have a problem with this couple? Ramit helped align their financial views with their reality. That's what he does, no matter how much or little they make/save/invest. She was a bit delulu and he was stonewalling. They aren't bad people.
I’m gonna say, they Do not need a $1,000,000 home making $300k. I don’t think the numbers actually work. I it’s gonna be a tight budget.
I don't think he wants a million dollar home.. she said thats the home she wants. Alot of "I" in there.
They could pay cash for 3/4 of it.
Where does she live?
OMG... 1% ers literally crying about their millions of $. These rich people would crumble if they made an average income and struggled to pay for a 250k home. "I'm a simple man"... all I want is a housekeeper to clean my house, do my shopping and watch my kids after they get home from private school. wow.
That intro! 😒🫣
Me in the corner in my 30s making $6400 gross a month as a trauma nurse. Lord, I should have picked a different career seeing what these people are pulling in!
I hear you! I’m a retired nurse now but I grossed €5k a month (about $5200) a month in my 60s and I was in a high grade nursing role (public health). I know in US nurses make more than in Ireland but even so it all balances out with our lower healthcare costs and guaranteed retirement pensions income. (Full service of 40 years means you retire on half final salary if you’re a nurse or public servant) . So saving for retirement is not something we think about, we just pay into our pensions from our salary and it’s also tax deducted at source so for every €1 we only pay 60cent. After retirement we pay 20% tax on drawdown, after our tax credits are applied.).
Yes Ramit, you said the word - GRATITUDE.
Does the husband ever get a word in? Ramit usually does a great job balancing the spouses input but he let this woman totally dominate the conversation with her rant. This was a terrible interview.
My take was that he didn't have anything to talk about. He didn't have many ideas of his own about how to spend their money -- he just wanted to say he personally didn't need much and then veto her ideas & plans for how to spend and manage their money. For example, he wouldn't OK the daycare she found for their sons but saying he doesn't "need" something fancy doesn't provide them with an alternative, less expensive daycare unless he does the research and finds a less expensive daycare. But yeah, maybe Ramit should've forced him to contribute ideas sooner. I just don't think that the husband wanted to get a word in sooner because he didn't seem to have much to say when put on the spot.
@@marykaitlynclark-joseph4192totally agree
@@marykaitlynclark-joseph4192 he didn't not "okay" it... he wanted to look at options. She seems like she is making shotgun decisions.. maybe thats her M.O.
@@loria606He didn’t bring options.
I actually like the intros, I've always watched from UA-cam and missed the actual "podcast" age. Since I don't pay for television/streaming subscriptions, it's actually pretty fun to watch. I tend to listen at work, and it's refreshing to be able to bop over to the video during the "emotionally" charged segments though, from the "intros" I have skipped some episodes, so they're a nice little preview so I know if I'm going to enjoy listening to the next hour and a half. The excerpts with Ramit's commentary have honestly been more helpful than the direct conversations.
Omg please no, not the music at the same time as people talking. 😢
😂😂😂😂😊
One thing I noticed here was that “fidelity” call to have 3 times you income save by 40. When Ramit told them they have the 900k, he pointed to the net worth and not investments. They still have a nice amount, but I wouldn’t buy a million dollar house. She also wants to take 200k of their investment for a down payment 😢
He also didn't call out that it's self-serving for fidelity to set that goal. Because they make money off investors... so the more people investing and the more money invested, the better Fidelity's bottom line. She looked at a marketing tool that said "you're behind, invest more" and took it as sacrosanct financial advice.
I feel for both of them. The fear of living the quality life you imagine for yourself in the future along with the fear of not enjoying today is exhausting. They both have legit reasons behind their feelings and serve as a balance to their relationship and success. I think once they figure out how to flow between their 2 extremes and cooperate, their success with blow.