Words of advice to the guys: if you really interested in this particular girl, please don't talk about other girls in front of her. It would completely shut off the window, then you would become just a friend.
I feel like this should be a series; have a controversial topic, then have a debate on it. I actually loved hearing about how society behaves according to the norm and this was such a great example!
it's true that girls usually grow into a rs and guys go in full force. but do guys grow into a rs too? like falling for a friend that he has known for a long time because he thinks they match?
+lildumpling0916 lol that was what i was thinking about the whole time. she didnt talk much this episode >.> she was like listening and probably becoming skeptical at the same time haha. this convo was pretty insightful sooooo gluck ashley o-o
lmao i like how Taylor is being such a good bro. First he steps in when Christine wants to speak and then he helps Wes finish his thoughts so that he can eat. haha
I love you Christine and Ashley, I feel like you two are such positive role models for other young girls watching these videos. I wish you two the best 😊
It's deep.... I have this guy friends. He always asks me to hang out one to one with him. He took a bus to meet up with me. Every time, we will spend hours just talking. But, in the end, our feelings are not mutual. Then, he told me the type of girl he likes. I am not even close to it. Last month, he liked girl A, this month he likes girl B. My heart is broken. I didn't mention about my feelings. Girls do get friendzoned. I hope I am not alone. Virtual hugs to everyone that are experiencing heart breaking moments.
I'll give you some advice +Wen Lin Tan , send him a text, saying that you like him, and that you don't think the feelings are mutual, and that you don't want to hang out anymore because it hurts. Stick to your guns. He will think about that over time. If nothing happens, then your feelings are protected. If he realizes that he likes you, and he tells you, and by that time, if you still like him, then ask him to take you on a date.
I once disclosed feelings to one of my closest friends, but she didn't feel the same way. We are still very close. I think an all or nothing approach can be counterproductive. If feelings are unreciprocated, why not still hang on to a beautiful, unconditional friendship?
This is a guy who's got somethings right. I understand if it's hard for a guy to see a girl because of his feelings, but I feel like a big part of this "all or nothing" approach is just lack of maturity. I confessed my feelings to a guy even as I knew he didn't have any for me. Don't act as if the person ows you anything.
+Anton Achondoa - Totally agree, though one reason why I'd be hesitant to still hang around, is because I'd be embarrassed every time I see that person, I'd hate myself forever and feel guilty, I'd wish she never remembered me trying, even I'd want to forget the whole thing ever happened. That shit would haunt me my entire life.
+Anton Achondoa Most of the time the pain it would cause to still be friends with someone you have strong feelings for is much worse than the benefits you could gain from their friendship. You are lucky I guess if you managed to get over it and still be friends.
I was thinking more along the lines of a teenager. Asking someone out when you are an adult and asking someone out as a teenager has two different meanings.
+ThePerfectLifeTv yeah for some guys its more a case of gauging "does she like me?" before they embarrass themselves with a confession and then make her feel awkward around him. A lot are scared to ask so they do the whole "shoulder to cry on" and msg her too much thing thinking that its getting her to like him and have fun and chat more openly with him (which in 10% of the time it may do), but actually he just becomes the outlet for her complaints in life and talking about a guy she kinda likes and she eventually crushes him when asking him advice on how to get some guy lol. unfortunately thats all too common
Right! And it seems like a race against time with the worry you'll be friendzoned or she'll find someone else, so you don't want to push but you do want to push! Ugh.. So impossible
I would say girls and guys can be just friends. The main thing that separates a romantic and platonic relationship is physical/sexual attraction...without it you just have a friendship. So, if you are simply attracted to an individuals personality, charm, etc you remain friends. It's as simple as that. It truly boils down to the person finding their friend more physically attractive overtime (perhaps as a result of puberty, becoming more fit,etc) but that's not a guarantee. There are just some people you will never find attractive or want an intimate relationship with, so yes, just friendship is possible.
I actually know a lot of guys who hang out with their female friends one-on-one but have zero romantic intentions (either they're already dating or engaged or interested in another girl). I find that they hang out with girls sometimes because they can express a more sensitive or "traditionally feminine" side with them and can find a connection there without being mocked, whereas with their male friends not so much. But yeah, I really disagree that when guy friends will always have a secret boner for their female friends and hanging out one-on-one always means something. (I mean, gay guys with female friends disproves that right off the bat.) Just... communication, people. Use your words and stop acting like babies.
+Alison Tee I agree, but in terms of the gay guys thing I think that was already assumed in their discussion. They're focusing on straight guys with female friends.
***** Yeah, that kind of socially-enforced emotional stoicism is quite sad really, considering the problem it's causing with male suicide rates and all :/
Yeah I think it depends from person to person. Some people are more comfortable one on one, or in a group, or maybe even a mix of the two. I think we should stop seeing people as their gender or sexual orientation and just look at them as people. Like stop putting people into boxes and just look at them as people and look out for signs.
+Alison Tee for my whole life, I always thought I was a go in full force kind of person. I mean, when I have a crush on someone, then I have a crush on someone. And when I think a certain girl is a good friend, then she is really a good friend. Recent event proved I could be slightly wrong though. I grew into a relationship with a girl who I thought just a good friend. Apparently, she's more than that. I just never knew.
+peter lee He might be, but you can't draw that conclusion from this talk if you mean "hopeless" romantic. He actually seems pretty experienced and realistic about expectations.
I've a fun story in relation to this. I have a guy friend whom I've known for a couple of years via the interwebs and we've recently acknowledged one another as being really close friends. He's a really awesome guy. Though I distinctly recall during an early year in our friendship, I somehow developed feelings for him. I never actually told him those feelings because I wasn't sure if they were true or not, although I contemplated it a lot. However, during the same year, I also wondered if he also had feelings for me because he started to refer to me as "dear" and "love" during our chats sometimes. But I wasn't sure if he was trying to imply something, move our relationship to a potential direction, or if that's just his normal talk style. It was an awkward time. In the end, I decided not to pursue the romance for reasons. By the time that year ended, my feelings for said friend gradually subsided back into the "just good friends" zone, and eventually he found a girlfriend. I ain't mad though. I'm just pleased the way my feelings progressed after having that period of romantic potential.
Damn ... Taylor is on point on this one. My girlfriend still doesn't believe me that I said I was really into her when she thought we were just friends. This actually sounds like "Just A Nice Guy" needs to be rebooted
+PhilipNTran I really do wish that Wong Fu remake some of their old skits. Lol. Now they have more staff members, better resources for actors and locations, and have become better writers and directors.
Haha, at some point both sides expect someone to be a mindreader. Also, the whole "No means try harder" is hugely cultural. There is this no means no mentality in America, and I agree with that. But in some other countries the intention of the girls is, "no means yes, impress me by trying harder". In countries like that, no isn't seen as a rejection by men, and by most women it's not meant as a rejection. If you wanted to reject a guy, you would literally ignore him. Then there is countries like Japan where they have the opposite issue. A whole lot of guys are literally afraid to pursue a woman. It's so bad that the government will pay people stipends to go on dates because the dating and family culture is literally dying. Aziz Ansari and another guy wrote a whole book on this that is highly informative and funny.
+BaresarkSlayne IMO a girl who does that kind of "hard to get" act ain't worth pursuing. Does anyone really want to spend their relationship playing those kinds of mind games? It may be cute at first but this is where "my girlfriend won't tell me what she wants and blames me for not reading her mind and doing the wrong thing" comes from. Communication is super important and you don't wanna be with someone who complicates the process.
+BaresarkSlayne Well in Japan. no means no. but typically a japanese woman would ignore the guy and he'll get the hint. but yes lately guys aren't approaching women in JApan. ALso there are 125 million people in Japan only 16 million of which are children. THATS A BIG DEAL!!!
I'm all for the "no means no" mentality, but if a guy feels that serious about me, well, go on and try again. Saying no I definitely did mean no, but you _might_ be able to change my mind. Although it's hard for me to imagine someone is that amazing to do that and yet he didn't get a yes at the first try. But hey, I'm open minded and such.
I've really loved getting to know Christine better through the second channel over the past year or so. She seems like such a smart and cool person. Love you Christine!
Really sound advice from this one. I love the fact that you guys sat that your shouldn't hold it against the other person for not feeling the same. But I do feel that its different for each person too. Sometimes it takes a while to know even your own feeling. Also Tay was totally on point today. Great Job!
Christine, YASSSS!!! I agree that there's a certain time limit to reveal your feelings (a couple months depending on how often we talk) and once you're past that then I'll just think of them as a friend.
Really enjoyed the editing on this one :D I feel like you've taken the quality to the next step up. A lot of these 'talk show' style UA-cam videos might as well be podcasts, but the visual queues and key points being highlighted on screen give purpose to the video format. Keep up the great content, loving this series!
my original comment was sarcastic. i was pointing out how he wasn't here for this one even though these topics are probably one of the topics he is strong in
I think that was the most accurate episode of "It's Complicated" eva!! Lol. Thank you Wes and Taylor for makin the guy side so clear. I could never put it into words (esp as a guy...). All the best for your move Ashely and allowing the team to comment on your move. Don't be too stressed. Enjoy the ride...
I'm actually REALLY glad you guys talked about this issue because I'm going through it with one of my guy friends right now. I'm having the same train of thought as Christine and I liked that you guys stated that a person shouldn't hold a friendship 'hostage' if the feelings are reciprocated. Favorite Lunch Break episode by far.
I love Christine. This was a very good lunch break! It clearly shows wongfu isn't one-way street thinking, narrowmindedly. It's an open forum and they're all close enough to voice their opinions to each other and hug it out in the end ^_^
I loved this episode!! The conversation was flowing and healthy, no bashing, and we got opinions from both sides equally, Loved it! This series just keeps getting better.
Omg thanks guys!! This has always been in my mind and it's so confusing. Totally agree with Christine about the two ladders we put guys on and thanks Wes and Taylor for the guys perception
I watched this ep of Lunch Break and then watched "Just a Nice Guy" and thought about Wes' advice of not holding your friendship hostage and that is really true. Even if you tell them how you feel and they don't feel the same way, you shouldn't feel like you'd damage your friendship by confessing.
As a teenager who is soon going into college, I can say that i've learned a lot from this video. It opened many other opinions which is always good, so now i know that i am not the only one who feels this way or is stuck on this. Thanks :D
Yeah, I see what the girls are saying. They either see the guy as a potential mate or a friend. If the guy wants to be friends first, they basically friend zone themselves out. Because now, the girl thinks you're a friend and not a potential. I guess, for the guys, if you don't see yourself wanting to be friends with this girl and want more than that then don't enter the friend zone at all. Just asks the girl out from the get go and see if the girl has the same potential feelings towards you. If not, then you won't be as hurt as if you were friends and then you spill your guts out to her and she said NO. lol Thank you Wong Fu!
+chocoboblue99: I agree. If a guy just doesn't see themselves being friends with the girl they like, then they should just ask the girl out in the beginning. They shouldn't be friends just because they want to get in a relationship with the girl someday. However, if the guy genuinely want to be friends with the girl and doesn't mind if the friendship just remains a friendship or evolves into something more, then that would be fine too. Sometimes people do get out of the friend zone. It really depends on the person.
I understand the need to befriend first to check what kind of person she is, but again! Guys be covering their bases a lil too much. If that's the approach you're taking, you gotta flirt obviously with her, make your intentions clear, don't stress that you're "just friends" and talk about other girls. And when she respectfully says no, don't lie and say you'll remain friends only to flirt more. That's crossing a line.
As much as I would have loved to see Phil for this conversation, I think it was great that this discussion happened when there's an equal amount of females and males so that each side is equally represented :)
This episode is so great. I love how you're talking about these topics. The whole 'no means no' topic is so important because no doesn't mean 'keep trying'. It should always mean no in every circumstance.
Loved this. I especially liked how wes says, don't hold your friendship as hostage.i feel like thats why both girls and guys are so hesitant to even think of pursuing "more than friends" Also #tayisbae =D
Loved the deep discussion! As a girl with mostly male friends I found it great to get some insight into a boy's mind, in an honest and critical manner. Also, #AshleyIsBae, good luck on the move
And I've gotta say this is an extremely mature discussion with the girls not over-reacting, but the girls listened well and tried to understand, rather than jumping to conclusions and being alpha-female and all. It promotes the communication on this matter
I have been a faithful watcher of your shows since like 2008 haha and this is the first time I've commented... I've shared a lot of your videos and sometimes I'd reference your videos to make a point but... this... this video is a must see~! keep up the good work WF team :)
Real talk happening in these lunch breaks lol. Honestly, watching lunch breaks are a great way to see how insightful and smart Christine, Wes and Taylor are. Ehh the others, I feel it's just word vomit lol
My advice is to never ever treat someone you're interested in as a friend right from the start. Be a romantic interest first before being a friend. It's that simple, but too many people are scared and wishy-washy, thinking that he/she is the only person for them and if they lose this connection, they'll be forever alone; lose that mentality and asking people out becomes so much easier.
I love coming back to these videos after watching their new stuff, like i can see part of the inspiration for the first episode of Just Another Nice Guy came from this lunch break
I am so glad you guys talked about this topic! should talk more about it or even make it a series! I am totally going through the situation where i've told a guy multiple times that I just like him as a friend and he just won't stop trying to pursue me. My friends tell me to just block him on all social media but i don't have the heart to...because he's such a great friend :(
+strawbary16 If you have made known your feelings (ie. you don't feel the same way) then he's not being a great friend by harassing you/pursuing you. It was his mistake for not making his intentions clear from the start before a lot of time has passed. He would have gotten his "no" sooner, and he would have been able to use that time and energy to invest in other ways, such as... actually meeting women who are interested in him. It's kind of sad that most women are oblivious to their male "friends". If you are an attractive, kind, socially adjusted woman, most men are not going to want to be just friends.
I'm always happy to hear Christine's input because she's very tactful about the way she states her opinions. Well everyone was in this video. But I always notice Christine more, maybe because a lot of what she says resonates with me. And I understand why she brought up the male privilege point. I thought it's valid because some men (not saying all, mind you) objectify women so much that they feel they have a right to whichever one they like, and that's why they feel so upset when rejected. Maybe if Christine got to explain her thought more thoroughly, people would understand what she meant.
6:53 was just as much a revelation for me as it looked like it was for Ashley. Is there somebody I can talk to about this????? I REALLY WANT TO TALK MORE ABOUT THIS.
+Germae Anne I wonder if that is 100% true for all cases or even for majority of the time... someone might just really like spending time with the person. no?
If you just met the guy or you two don't know each other that well, then him wanting to hang out just the two of you is a sign that there's some interest. It's sort of the safer approach to asking you out, but it's still a slower result because the intention still isn't completely clear from the woman's end, right? If you've been friends for a long time, then it's normal just to hang out just the two of you. Everyone has ever-changing schedules, and it becomes a lot more difficult to plan something with even one person, let alone a group of people once you've reached your adult life.
I watched this after watching the most recent Lunch Break! and noticed that some of the things you guys mentioned here went into some of the other videos on the main channel.
I love Lunch Break more and more, how the wongfu team discuss about sensitive issues. I think It really helped a lot of us who are figuring out. And Taylor's thoughts are very mature, I like how Wes has very interesting takes on this topic as well. Phil needs to be in this episode as well! Please remake one because Phil always have really interesting perspectives.
Words of advice to the guys: if you really interested in this particular girl, please don't talk about other girls in front of her. It would completely shut off the window, then you would become just a friend.
if Phil was in this, the episode would had been 30 minutes long!
+augustine chong #FACT 😂👏
That wouldve been awesome!
+augustine chong Phil should've been in this episode!
I would've loved to have his insight though since he's such a huge romantic haha
iBeFloe Yes i have to agree on that
I feel like this should be a series; have a controversial topic, then have a debate on it. I actually loved hearing about how society behaves according to the norm and this was such a great example!
it's true that girls usually grow into a rs and guys go in full force. but do guys grow into a rs too? like falling for a friend that he has known for a long time because he thinks they match?
+tinklebellylala yes, of course.
+Robert Lee I LAUGHED OUT LOUD. THANK YOU!
Yes
+DT Tan I agree but let's not make it too controversial. I like how light yet deep the topics are
Wes: " cool, have a good move "
Ashley being worried and overthinking things now, LOL
+Jenny Tran 😳😰 haha
+Ashley Matsunami let us know if any roomies confess :P
+Ashley Matsunami YEAH LET US KNOW XD
Lol
I wonder if one of the guys Ashley is friends with is watching this and is thinking "OHHH SHIT :O", and what they have said may have been tru XD
Spot on!
+lildumpling0916 OH SHIT JIG IS UP
+lildumpling0916 OH SHIT JIG IS UP
+lildumpling0916 lol that was what i was thinking about the whole time. she didnt talk much this episode >.> she was like listening and probably becoming skeptical at the same time haha. this convo was pretty insightful sooooo gluck ashley o-o
lmao i like how Taylor is being such a good bro. First he steps in when Christine wants to speak and then he helps Wes finish his thoughts so that he can eat. haha
I love you Christine and Ashley, I feel like you two are such positive role models for other young girls watching these videos. I wish you two the best 😊
+Lilly Orange You're too kind! 😍😭😃💕
+Lilly Orange Yeah, I really liked their opinions on this topic, they were sticking up for the girls corner!
It's deep.... I have this guy friends. He always asks me to hang out one to one with him. He took a bus to meet up with me. Every time, we will spend hours just talking. But, in the end, our feelings are not mutual. Then, he told me the type of girl he likes. I am not even close to it. Last month, he liked girl A, this month he likes girl B. My heart is broken. I didn't mention about my feelings.
Girls do get friendzoned. I hope I am not alone. Virtual hugs to everyone that are experiencing heart breaking moments.
I totally understand girl. You're definitely not alone. It happens everyday. Time to make "Just a nice girl" HUGGG
Thanks. Glad to know it I like lunch break episodes
I'll give you some advice +Wen Lin Tan , send him a text, saying that you like him, and that you don't think the feelings are mutual, and that you don't want to hang out anymore because it hurts. Stick to your guns. He will think about that over time. If nothing happens, then your feelings are protected. If he realizes that he likes you, and he tells you, and by that time, if you still like him, then ask him to take you on a date.
Shi Nobi Thanks. Liking someone is not easy, huh? Anyway Happy New Year. Enjoy
Usually you don't get the one you like, lol. I think, better to like someone who likes you. Happy New Year to you to Wen Lin Tan :)
I once disclosed feelings to one of my closest friends, but she didn't feel the same way. We are still very close.
I think an all or nothing approach can be counterproductive. If feelings are unreciprocated, why not still hang on to a beautiful, unconditional friendship?
+Anton Achondoa THIS 🙌
This is a guy who's got somethings right. I understand if it's hard for a guy to see a girl because of his feelings, but I feel like a big part of this "all or nothing" approach is just lack of maturity. I confessed my feelings to a guy even as I knew he didn't have any for me. Don't act as if the person ows you anything.
+Anton Achondoa yep been there and done that. me and that girl have been friends ever since also, she got really drunk and threw up in my car. hahahah
+Anton Achondoa - Totally agree, though one reason why I'd be hesitant to still hang around, is because I'd be embarrassed every time I see that person, I'd hate myself forever and feel guilty, I'd wish she never remembered me trying, even I'd want to forget the whole thing ever happened. That shit would haunt me my entire life.
+Anton Achondoa Most of the time the pain it would cause to still be friends with someone you have strong feelings for is much worse than the benefits you could gain from their friendship. You are lucky I guess if you managed to get over it and still be friends.
im obsessed with this series thanks guys for this .
ikr!
+Haylie Charmz i never thought lunch break could be exciting rather than eating wong fu productions make those awesome
+Nisha sharmin trueeee 😁
Wes is thinking what a lot of guys are thinking. WE CAN'T PURSUE YOU IF WE DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON.
I was thinking more along the lines of a teenager. Asking someone out when you are an adult and asking someone out as a teenager has two different meanings.
+ThePerfectLifeTv yeah for some guys its more a case of gauging "does she like me?" before they embarrass themselves with a confession and then make her feel awkward around him. A lot are scared to ask so they do the whole "shoulder to cry on" and msg her too much thing thinking that its getting her to like him and have fun and chat more openly with him (which in 10% of the time it may do), but actually he just becomes the outlet for her complaints in life and talking about a guy she kinda likes and she eventually crushes him when asking him advice on how to get some guy lol. unfortunately thats all too common
+ThePerfectLifeTv I'm speaking from my perspective and it's hard to just go up to a random girl and just start taking for me
Right! And it seems like a race against time with the worry you'll be friendzoned or she'll find someone else, so you don't want to push but you do want to push! Ugh.. So impossible
+darkstars101 tbh, it depends on the initial attraction. If you two start with friends and that becomes something else, then that's the best scenario.
I actually really enjoyed how serious this was. It was different, but I found it helpful to see both sides of the story for males and females. :D
I would say girls and guys can be just friends. The main thing that separates a romantic and platonic relationship is physical/sexual attraction...without it you just have a friendship. So, if you are simply attracted to an individuals personality, charm, etc you remain friends. It's as simple as that. It truly boils down to the person finding their friend more physically attractive overtime (perhaps as a result of puberty, becoming more fit,etc) but that's not a guarantee. There are just some people you will never find attractive or want an intimate relationship with, so yes, just friendship is possible.
LOLOLOL. At the end...
Wes: "Cool, have a good move."
I actually know a lot of guys who hang out with their female friends one-on-one but have zero romantic intentions (either they're already dating or engaged or interested in another girl). I find that they hang out with girls sometimes because they can express a more sensitive or "traditionally feminine" side with them and can find a connection there without being mocked, whereas with their male friends not so much.
But yeah, I really disagree that when guy friends will always have a secret boner for their female friends and hanging out one-on-one always means something. (I mean, gay guys with female friends disproves that right off the bat.) Just... communication, people. Use your words and stop acting like babies.
+Alison Tee i see this too!!!
+Alison Tee I agree, but in terms of the gay guys thing I think that was already assumed in their discussion. They're focusing on straight guys with female friends.
***** Yeah, that kind of socially-enforced emotional stoicism is quite sad really, considering the problem it's causing with male suicide rates and all :/
Yeah I think it depends from person to person. Some people are more comfortable one on one, or in a group, or maybe even a mix of the two. I think we should stop seeing people as their gender or sexual orientation and just look at them as people. Like stop putting people into boxes and just look at them as people and look out for signs.
+Alison Tee for my whole life, I always thought I was a go in full force kind of person. I mean, when I have a crush on someone, then I have a crush on someone. And when I think a certain girl is a good friend, then she is really a good friend. Recent event proved I could be slightly wrong though. I grew into a relationship with a girl who I thought just a good friend. Apparently, she's more than that. I just never knew.
6:19 That's when you know Wes likes those greens
Miiiiiine!!
+Wesley Chan 😏😏😏😏
Wow Taylor is fuckin romantic
+peter lee #tayisbae 💕
+peter lee He might be, but you can't draw that conclusion from this talk if you mean "hopeless" romantic. He actually seems pretty experienced and realistic about expectations.
+Ashley Matsunami Ashley, your BAE too!
Whoas Ashley's first Lunch Break and it was a pretty intense topic
+J T 😰haha
Christine has perfectly described the "window of opportunity" that I never knew had a name before. Deep discussion!
if a girl tells me no, i don't think "challenge accepted", I think "time to move on"
Johnny Wang well you sir are a nice person and more guys should follow your example
Johnny Wang It still depends on what type of no it is. Is it the dreaded serious no? Or is it the playful tsundere no?
I'll think it's time to move to other prospects :P
Good, but not everybody's like that
@@nick2131 No. A no is a no, good chance that "playful" no is just a way for he girl to bepolite about it
I've a fun story in relation to this. I have a guy friend whom I've known for a couple of years via the interwebs and we've recently acknowledged one another as being really close friends. He's a really awesome guy. Though I distinctly recall during an early year in our friendship, I somehow developed feelings for him. I never actually told him those feelings because I wasn't sure if they were true or not, although I contemplated it a lot. However, during the same year, I also wondered if he also had feelings for me because he started to refer to me as "dear" and "love" during our chats sometimes. But I wasn't sure if he was trying to imply something, move our relationship to a potential direction, or if that's just his normal talk style. It was an awkward time.
In the end, I decided not to pursue the romance for reasons. By the time that year ended, my feelings for said friend gradually subsided back into the "just good friends" zone, and eventually he found a girlfriend. I ain't mad though. I'm just pleased the way my feelings progressed after having that period of romantic potential.
Damn ... Taylor is on point on this one. My girlfriend still doesn't believe me that I said I was really into her when she thought we were just friends. This actually sounds like "Just A Nice Guy" needs to be rebooted
+PhilipNTran I really do wish that Wong Fu remake some of their old skits. Lol. Now they have more staff members, better resources for actors and locations, and have become better writers and directors.
Lolol it actually happened!
I wish I had lunch conversations this interesting.
YEAH ASHLEY YEAH!
+Jenn Le your times coming soon superstar
+Jenn Le i hope you join a lunch break soon!!! ^___^
+Jenn Le HI JENN HI! 😄👋
Haha, at some point both sides expect someone to be a mindreader.
Also, the whole "No means try harder" is hugely cultural. There is this no means no mentality in America, and I agree with that. But in some other countries the intention of the girls is, "no means yes, impress me by trying harder". In countries like that, no isn't seen as a rejection by men, and by most women it's not meant as a rejection. If you wanted to reject a guy, you would literally ignore him. Then there is countries like Japan where they have the opposite issue. A whole lot of guys are literally afraid to pursue a woman. It's so bad that the government will pay people stipends to go on dates because the dating and family culture is literally dying.
Aziz Ansari and another guy wrote a whole book on this that is highly informative and funny.
Very interesting comment and I couldn't agree more. I should check out that book too! I love Aziz! lol
+BaresarkSlayne IMO a girl who does that kind of "hard to get" act ain't worth pursuing. Does anyone really want to spend their relationship playing those kinds of mind games? It may be cute at first but this is where "my girlfriend won't tell me what she wants and blames me for not reading her mind and doing the wrong thing" comes from. Communication is super important and you don't wanna be with someone who complicates the process.
+Alison Tee I agree. So much.
+BaresarkSlayne
Well in Japan. no means no. but typically a japanese woman would ignore the guy and he'll get the hint. but yes lately guys aren't approaching women in JApan. ALso there are 125 million people in Japan only 16 million of which are children. THATS A BIG DEAL!!!
I'm all for the "no means no" mentality, but if a guy feels that serious about me, well, go on and try again. Saying no I definitely did mean no, but you _might_ be able to change my mind. Although it's hard for me to imagine someone is that amazing to do that and yet he didn't get a yes at the first try. But hey, I'm open minded and such.
I've really loved getting to know Christine better through the second channel over the past year or so. She seems like such a smart and cool person. Love you Christine!
HAH. If a girl tells me "no", I don't think "challenge accepted". I think "I'm ugly and no one will love me".
This resonates with me
Aw, I hope that's changed
Really sound advice from this one. I love the fact that you guys sat that your shouldn't hold it against the other person for not feeling the same. But I do feel that its different for each person too. Sometimes it takes a while to know even your own feeling.
Also Tay was totally on point today. Great Job!
Christine, YASSSS!!! I agree that there's a certain time limit to reveal your feelings (a couple months depending on how often we talk) and once you're past that then I'll just think of them as a friend.
Wes your timing at the end was perfect when it became all silent & Ashley your face afterwards was priceless & emoji worthy
Ashley's expressions just killed me. XD
Really enjoyed the editing on this one :D I feel like you've taken the quality to the next step up. A lot of these 'talk show' style UA-cam videos might as well be podcasts, but the visual queues and key points being highlighted on screen give purpose to the video format. Keep up the great content, loving this series!
Ashley's face when Wes says "have a good move" xD
I love the shift in Wong Fu's focus to be more interactive with viewers and produce series such as these!love it!
awesome lunch break! thoughtful and full of insight. loved it!
OMG this is amazing! Christine and Ashley totally spoke my mind xD Love this! :)
yeah i really agree on Phil's pov, I'm glad he didn't miss this one
you are probably not the brightest bulb in the box huh
my original comment was sarcastic. i was pointing out how he wasn't here for this one even though these topics are probably one of the topics he is strong in
pretty much saying i wish he was here for that episode so i could hear what he had to say
i thought i made it obvious enough because Phil was clearly not there lol
+iSick 77 Don't worry, your sarcasm was very prevalent
I think that was the most accurate episode of "It's Complicated" eva!! Lol. Thank you Wes and Taylor for makin the guy side so clear. I could never put it into words (esp as a guy...). All the best for your move Ashely and allowing the team to comment on your move. Don't be too stressed. Enjoy the ride...
This was so sincere and serious. I love it! Very insightful and interesting!
damnn this episode of lunch break is really interesting!! i love this little debate you guys are having hahaha
Taylor: The Love Guru. Haha.
"Cool have a good move" LOL
I love how wes and taylor are all like, "no, no the guy's totally wrong. It's the guy's fault" and the girls are like, "ok, continue." XD
+Erin Yau so one sided LOL but reality rip
I'm actually REALLY glad you guys talked about this issue because I'm going through it with one of my guy friends right now. I'm having the same train of thought as Christine and I liked that you guys stated that a person shouldn't hold a friendship 'hostage' if the feelings are reciprocated.
Favorite Lunch Break episode by far.
This was the deepest Lunch Break conversation :)
I love Christine. This was a very good lunch break!
It clearly shows wongfu isn't one-way street thinking, narrowmindedly. It's an open forum and they're all close enough to voice their opinions to each other and hug it out in the end ^_^
LOL that ending, "Have a good move!"
I loved this episode!! The conversation was flowing and healthy, no bashing, and we got opinions from both sides equally, Loved it! This series just keeps getting better.
First! Uploaded One minute ago?! *breathes heavily* WES I LOVE YOU!
Omg thanks guys!! This has always been in my mind and it's so confusing. Totally agree with Christine about the two ladders we put guys on and thanks Wes and Taylor for the guys perception
I watched this ep of Lunch Break and then watched "Just a Nice Guy" and thought about Wes' advice of not holding your friendship hostage and that is really true. Even if you tell them how you feel and they don't feel the same way, you shouldn't feel like you'd damage your friendship by confessing.
with Phil: random break lunch
without Phil: deep break lunch that even Adele wants to roll into it.
Ashley is my new gf, but she doesn't know it yet
I love all these lunch breaks! I must say I enjoy each and every video! Taylor is just ahhh I wish I knew a guy like him!
As a teenager who is soon going into college, I can say that i've learned a lot from this video. It opened many other opinions which is always good, so now i know that i am not the only one who feels this way or is stuck on this. Thanks :D
Yeah, I see what the girls are saying. They either see the guy as a potential mate or a friend. If the guy wants to be friends first, they basically friend zone themselves out. Because now, the girl thinks you're a friend and not a potential.
I guess, for the guys, if you don't see yourself wanting to be friends with this girl and want more than that then don't enter the friend zone at all. Just asks the girl out from the get go and see if the girl has the same potential feelings towards you. If not, then you won't be as hurt as if you were friends and then you spill your guts out to her and she said NO. lol
Thank you Wong Fu!
+chocoboblue99: I agree. If a guy just doesn't see themselves being friends with the girl they like, then they should just ask the girl out in the beginning. They shouldn't be friends just because they want to get in a relationship with the girl someday.
However, if the guy genuinely want to be friends with the girl and doesn't mind if the friendship just remains a friendship or evolves into something more, then that would be fine too. Sometimes people do get out of the friend zone. It really depends on the person.
I understand the need to befriend first to check what kind of person she is, but again! Guys be covering their bases a lil too much. If that's the approach you're taking, you gotta flirt obviously with her, make your intentions clear, don't stress that you're "just friends" and talk about other girls.
And when she respectfully says no, don't lie and say you'll remain friends only to flirt more. That's crossing a line.
As much as I would have loved to see Phil for this conversation, I think it was great that this discussion happened when there's an equal amount of females and males so that each side is equally represented :)
This episode is so great. I love how you're talking about these topics. The whole 'no means no' topic is so important because no doesn't mean 'keep trying'. It should always mean no in every circumstance.
Loved this. I especially liked how wes says, don't hold your friendship as hostage.i feel like thats why both girls and guys are so hesitant to even think of pursuing "more than friends"
Also #tayisbae =D
Loved the deep discussion! As a girl with mostly male friends I found it great to get some insight into a boy's mind, in an honest and critical manner. Also, #AshleyIsBae, good luck on the move
And I've gotta say this is an extremely mature discussion with the girls not over-reacting, but the girls listened well and tried to understand, rather than jumping to conclusions and being alpha-female and all. It promotes the communication on this matter
I seriously love these lunch breaks.
I like how they're eating Korean food because to me this topic sounds like a basic Korean drama.
That was a great lunch break! Informative and funny and absolutely insightful :)
I need more Ashley in my life.
Love all the regulars, and also love ASHLEY!!! Keep having her on here if possible! 😊
Everything Wes says in this episode is on point
"We're at my mom's dinner" lol I died. You're hilarious Taylor !!
Taylor. This is my confession of love to you. Plz rspnd.
hi aaron
+Taylor Chan My love is unrequited.
+Gooner wait they can't kiss yet!! Taylor hasn't accept!! Taylor would you accept? I give you my support!
I have been a faithful watcher of your shows since like 2008 haha and this is the first time I've commented... I've shared a lot of your videos and sometimes I'd reference your videos to make a point but... this... this video is a must see~! keep up the good work WF team :)
I would be down to watch 30 minute lunch breaks like this.
Unedited lunch breaks anyone?
Real talk happening in these lunch breaks lol. Honestly, watching lunch breaks are a great way to see how insightful and smart Christine, Wes and Taylor are. Ehh the others, I feel it's just word vomit lol
This is such a good Lunch Break!
This is one of my favorite vids from you guys...never stop making lunch break videos!! I love you guys. Especially you, Christine
My advice is to never ever treat someone you're interested in as a friend right from the start. Be a romantic interest first before being a friend. It's that simple, but too many people are scared and wishy-washy, thinking that he/she is the only person for them and if they lose this connection, they'll be forever alone; lose that mentality and asking people out becomes so much easier.
When Christine mentioned the 2 ladders, that reminded me of the Just a Nice Guy short.
Wow, that lunch break was very insightful
Lol, I can't stop laughing at how this is even a conversation. I feel like I'm forever in high school with these guys.
At several points throughout the video I closed fullscreen to like the video only to realize, whoops, already liked it...
TOTALLY LOVED THIS!!! This topic was so insightful and helpful!
This might have even given me the courage to make the first move and text my crush 😊
+whatsupitskez - you totally should! it's 2015 (and about to be 2016). time moves pretty fast, why wait when you can meet happiness halfway?
Bring along Jenn next week for lunch break!
I love coming back to these videos after watching their new stuff, like i can see part of the inspiration for the first episode of Just Another Nice Guy came from this lunch break
Girls.. you gotta assume all guys are like Jon Snow. If there are signs we won't get the signs, we know nothing! lol
I am so glad you guys talked about this topic! should talk more about it or even make it a series! I am totally going through the situation where i've told a guy multiple times that I just like him as a friend and he just won't stop trying to pursue me. My friends tell me to just block him on all social media but i don't have the heart to...because he's such a great friend :(
+strawbary16 If you have made known your feelings (ie. you don't feel the same way) then he's not being a great friend by harassing you/pursuing you.
It was his mistake for not making his intentions clear from the start before a lot of time has passed. He would have gotten his "no" sooner, and he would have been able to use that time and energy to invest in other ways, such as... actually meeting women who are interested in him.
It's kind of sad that most women are oblivious to their male "friends". If you are an attractive, kind, socially adjusted woman, most men are not going to want to be just friends.
I'm always happy to hear Christine's input because she's very tactful about the way she states her opinions. Well everyone was in this video. But I always notice Christine more, maybe because a lot of what she says resonates with me. And I understand why she brought up the male privilege point. I thought it's valid because some men (not saying all, mind you) objectify women so much that they feel they have a right to whichever one they like, and that's why they feel so upset when rejected. Maybe if Christine got to explain her thought more thoroughly, people would understand what she meant.
duuuuude this had to be the best video I've seen in a long time. at a point everyone stopped eating because it was so engaging
Ashley looks more and more distraught as the video goes on and Taylor and Wes unload more opinion from a guy's pov 😂
I haven't watched Wong Fu for...quite a while. This made me fall in love with them again :D
When Christine said "Two Ladders", I was looking at Wes and thinking about Just A Nice Guy
Loved this episode! I've never liked Ashley because she's so random/all over the place when she speaks, but I thought she was great this week! :)
6:53 was just as much a revelation for me as it looked like it was for Ashley.
Is there somebody I can talk to about this????? I REALLY WANT TO TALK MORE ABOUT THIS.
do you mean the "hang out one on one"? :p
Yes that.
+Germae Anne I wonder if that is 100% true for all cases or even for majority of the time... someone might just really like spending time with the person. no?
If you just met the guy or you two don't know each other that well, then him wanting to hang out just the two of you is a sign that there's some interest. It's sort of the safer approach to asking you out, but it's still a slower result because the intention still isn't completely clear from the woman's end, right?
If you've been friends for a long time, then it's normal just to hang out just the two of you. Everyone has ever-changing schedules, and it becomes a lot more difficult to plan something with even one person, let alone a group of people once you've reached your adult life.
+Andrew Tram that's what I thought too.
I watched this after watching the most recent Lunch Break! and noticed that some of the things you guys mentioned here went into some of the other videos on the main channel.
it was really cool to have ashley on lunch break! it was refreshing to have 2 girls and 2 guys....like a balance? really good topic btw XD
I love Lunch Break more and more, how the wongfu team discuss about sensitive issues. I think It really helped a lot of us who are figuring out. And Taylor's thoughts are very mature, I like how Wes has very interesting takes on this topic as well. Phil needs to be in this episode as well! Please remake one because Phil always have really interesting perspectives.
that was a really detailed scenario from taylor LOL #fromexperience? haha
Wow that was insightful!
@Christine habe you been watching 'Dance Academy'? Because of that ladder theory thing :D
Where is Wes's sweatshirt from??
It's my own design! Check out basegray.com
One of the best episodes of "It's... complicated" ever.
This could be a Short episode. With the guys that live with the girl.
Wow, this was a good episode of different perspectives I was looking for! :) Thanks for sharing.