I haven't figured this out yet
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- Опубліковано 12 вер 2024
- I share a bit of a life update and what I'm currently struggling with or working on around my illness right now.
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I ❤ you so much Lauren.
All of my life can be labeled "I haven't figured this out yet." :)
I understand the problem of doing things together. I really like to do things with my husband no matter what that thing might be. But, I have learned to let him do some things on his own. Something that is really helpful, since he has a bad time walking, is ordering groceries online to be picked up the next day.
xo
I will pray for you. Especially for your return to school. :)
I feel like your chanel is a savespace for me, beeing on the edge of realityloss. I come back to remind me that there are others like me, so I know its not all about me (paranoia)
And Lauren: I love this hairstile on you😊
You make me feel like I can have a good life too
You are a torch bearer for people lurking in the darkness of mental illness. Carry on your routines and inspire us.
Sbsk is a torch bearer
@@WalczykIn truth Depression recently may be Bipolar.
I have schizoaffective disorder and was on disability for about eight years when I was in my twenties. I have been back working full time for twenty years, but I'll tell you, it is really very difficult! Managing the stress and sticking to a routine is just hellish at times. Others couldn't imagine how much harder it is when you are living with an illness like this, even when in the "well" periods. Kudos to you for heading back to school and looking to set yourself up for more success to come!
this is really encouraging because I'm currently trying to work my way back to full time employment and hearing your story has given me hope. Thank you!
I've been on disability for 3 years since I was 23 turning 24 in 2020. Now I am 27 next month hoping to get back to work next year. Your story gives me some hope that its possible. Thank you :)
Why is keeping a routine hellish? I don't understand.
@@greenpilgrimz3763perhaps it’s like getting around with one leg that’s shorter, been badly set years ago because of a compound fracture, foot twisted outwards, you may or may not have access to cane. Now chase a couple of young kids, housekeep, caregiver to spouse bedridden, work full-time. All on you, now have others give you “advice” to do better, go on their merry way, no helping hand. I forgot, counseling and medical appointments.
Oh what fun…😢
@@greenpilgrimz3763 it is very difficult to do when trying to manage the cognitive deficits of the illness that interfere with executive function, which is the function that is used to organize activities. Motivation is also impaired with schizoaffective and other mental disorders that are similar to it. This impacts the ability to stick to a routine, making it very hard to do at times.
Your genuine desire for self awareness and self-care are incredibly motivating to me. Please continue to take care of yourself, society needs more examples of that.
Capacity. That really resonated with me. I got my bachelor degree, got my honours degree, here in Australia. I had a career for 25 years, and raised 2 kids, mostly as a single mum. Then I had a spectacular breakdown, at work and home, and everything imploded.Hello mental health ward. Now I've been diagnosed bipolar for 14 years. If I think about going back to work I have panic attacks. I get angry and sad about my lost capacity and loss of ability to manage my life as I would like too. I have the major care roll for my 28yo son, diagnosed with autism spectrum and schizoaffective disorder, and also my 83yo Mum. It's hard, sometimes it's too hard, and I crash, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. I will keep watching your videos, they give me hope and insight. Thank you for making them, even when it's so hard for you.
WOW what an amazing person you are. You are so strong and have achieved goals and supported those you love. I totally respect you. Your breakdown maybe was a break through. This channel normalises mental illnessand makes me live with my at times debilitating anxiety. People like you are the real heroes in life and i admire you.❤❤❤❤
Sometimes we have to crash because it is our body and minds way of resetting.
One time I was sitting on the porch on a really hot day with a friend. My dog who has a double coat was miserable. All of sudden he jumped up ran over and jumped in the kids swimming pool. After a short while he climbed out shook off and came back to lay down in the shade. That's the way I feel after a break, refreshed, better, more aware.
@@deborajensen8637 A family member accused me of being lazy, not wanting to work, and bludging off the govt pension scheme, and told me to get over it cause it was all just in my head. I laughed until I almost choked, not the response he expected, and told him that for once he was correct, it was all in my head.
Hi, I went to college with a toddler and with a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. It was great at first, but I went for two years and had a psychotic break. My advice to you is to wait until your baby is school-age. The baby will be more independent and going to school every day.
I picturing a toddler in class with you.
@@minshullja toddler under one arm, schizophrenia under the other
Good pt. Or start w/1 class at a time & add on w/o a f/t load or even p/t load
@@minshulljou joke but depending on the college, they will let you bring a kid to class. especially commuter schools that have more older students. i’ve been in a few lectures with kids running around hahaha. hey, whatever works!
my community college actually had a free daycare for students to drop kids off, and they let the early childhood development students work their for experience. it was nice
Enjoy the baby as long as you can, those days pass so quickly then they grow up so fast
I think a lot of people struggle with finding the line between their fantasy self and their real-life self. For me, Fantasy Teresa wants to do ALL the things, because I feel like I SHOULD be able to juggle a gargantuan number of things. Real-Life Teresa has her limitations, though, and she sometimes has to smack Fantasy Teresa upside the head and tell her to chill :) For your sake and your family's, it's really important to not over-extend yourself trying to keep up with an unrealistic or unreasonable amount of tasks and goals. Peace!
I have this undone sewing project I keep in my lounge to remind me that I think I can take on more than I can. I want to be the best at all the things too. In reality though I'm lucky to get my laundry basket to emptying status.
I don't want to say this is fact, but one of the biggest breakthroughs in my life was when I was the most burnt out. I was quitting nicotine at the time and life just seemed so full of meaning and moments I will never forget. Do not be afraid of pushing yourself. You never know how strong you really are as a human.
Fantasy Teresa meet fantasy Debbie we have a lot in common. Including the smacking up side the head and telling myself to get a grip.😂
Fantasy Teresa, I love this comment. 😊 I need to learn to stop living in a fantasy world as well. Just love the support and positive energy in this comment section.
I successfully completed my masters degree in SW with this illness. It was hard, but it was also rewarding. I have no doubt that you will succeed. All your points are spot on and structure for me is huge!
Congratulations!
The word 'capacity' jumped out at me. I have, without using that term, conversations with my loved one who struggles with schizophrenia. It's hard in our world to separate 'capacity' and 'worth'. I'm older now and I look back on my life and understanding that my worth existed regardless of how hard I pushed to fulfill my beliefs about this. I put a lot of pressure on myself. You are worthy without an MSW. Or there is no need to rush it. ❤
I love that you highlight the fact that “capacity” and “worth” are separate and distinct. It can be hard to hold onto this concept!
@@brindmusicnerd yes. There's a lot of pressure out there about such things.
Agree. Everyone has a different percentage of ability. And that’s not tied to our self worth.
There’s a book called Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price which sounds like total bs from the title, but it has been so instrumental in helping me separate my self worth from productivity
Basically productivity is an outdated term used to shame people who struggle physically and/or mentally and was a way to keep slaves in line and then later during the Industrial Revolution it was transferred over to employees.
Offtopic: I really love the colors in this video. Beautiful composition.
Yeah, I’m just here for the colors. It’s so hard to find a decent box of crayons these days.
Having low capacity sucks. Everyone is out doing everything and you aren't. It's so hard to always have to explain yourself.
Even listening to all the things you want to accomplish and you want to change makes me feel STRESSED. Going back to school = stress, no more doing chores together with your husband= more stress, connect to friends and groups = less time to recover. Doing all at once = recipe for desaster.
Please FOCUS ON NOT FALLING INTO PSYCHOSIS, STAYING OUT OF THE PSYCH WARD AND SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR LOVED ONES!
I have schizoaffective bipolar type too. I’m 33 and I got the diagnosis when I was 17. Your good to watch and you should do a T.E.D talk
Could talk about how lability is primary to support. However, a lot of flexibility can utilize the support system.
I have bipolar 1 disorder and one of the first things my therapist and I did was create a “chore chart” for my whole family. It sets clear lines of what is expected of everyone and takes some of the load off of me. It’s been so helpful for times when I’m unwell. Even during my last psychotic episode I was able to complete most of my tasks every day.
Oh, this is a good idea. Thanks
I have bipolar 1 and this sounds like a great idea. I tend to over do the chores and then resent the family when I'm hypomanic. I want to get to a place where I can work hard but then not resent and then yell at everyone for not contributing as much as me. I just want to be a sweeter person, even with illness.
I find your videos helpful and relevant even though I suffer with a completely different kind of mental illness. Thank you. You are helping so many people.
Same here
Ditto
Agreed. ❤
❤
Melatonin helps some minds
I dated a PhD student with Bipolar Schizophrenia for 6 years, she was the most stable girl I ever dated.
So was she stable, or just stable compared to other girlfriends?
The math phD I dated who also had schizoaffective disorder was also probably the most stable person I ever dated. He had done years of therapy already. He had a pretty solid routine who taught me, a neurotypical person, a lot about healthy living. He also communicated well about his illness, which helped a lot.
@@lundswedenmean ! As a mental health nurse I can tell you categorically that when the proper medication and dosage is found people can remain stable. Maybe be more clued up before making ridiculous comments
@@CarolandDave I'm not sure if his comment mean any ill intent. I wondered the same, the original comment is a little vague.
@@ValentiDoll I hear you and I apologise if I offended but to compare other girlfriends to being mentally unstable ? That was what was meant and uncalled for imo
I wanted to be a doctor or nurse and save lives. Yet, i can't function under high stress like a doctor or nurse needs to be able to do. Retail work is too hard for me because i have a hard time getting yelled at by customers. So, i am a factory worker. It is low stress for me. I have much less crying spells than i did in retail. You are right in describing how important sleep is. If i don't sleep good, i might cry for a way too overthought negative reason.
But, i sometimes want to find a way to help others. But, a job in AODA is probably too stressful too. I tried a job working at an appartment for people with mental illness. I couldn't fo it because i am uncomfortable ordering people to do household chores. I feel like i have more 8ntelligence than working in s factory requires.
Thank you for sharing your story
I have schizophrenia and I'm in school right now getting my degree in healthcare. All I can say to you is that it is very difficult to stay on task, and it is very stressful. I pay very close attention to my mental health and make sure to write in my journal everyday. I take note of how I feel that day and list out the tasks I know I need to do that week. Even though everything is listed out , I still struggle with motivation and with going about how to accomplish each task. Everything feels extremely overwhelming. Exams are always anxiety inducing. It's almost debilitating to keep up with everything. Haven't found a good way of handling these challenges yet. With that said; if I can do it, so can you. Don't allow schizophrenia to hold you back from accomplishing your dreams. Like you, I am learning to be more independent because I don't want to rely on others my whole life. I hope that you get to a place where you can feel more confident in doing the things you want. But sometimes you just have to jump right in and make the best of it. Honestly, there really is never a right time to do it.
These past couple days has been rough. My emotions were all over the trying to manage the paranoia of psychosis. I found this channel and watching helped reel me back.
I spent the day trying to get scheduled to see a doctor to no avail. And the hospital I called didn't have any beds available, as much as I hate the hospital.
I was in complete despair, and if you go through this you know despair, and lack of the ability to be in control can drive you mad. My mind started drifting into dark places. We know what that can lead to.
Then one of the community support groups called me back. A 62 year old peer councilor who has suffered from schizophrenia since he was 7 shared his journey, and his life with me. I broke down so much, and it really was a bittersweet sense of comfort because I wouldn't wish this with anybody. With his lifetime of experience, he was able to tell me where my stories were headed because he had been there before. He kept telling me how he was looking into a younger mirror.
This man literally saved my life. There was something about connecting with someone who knew me and my condition so well because he has been through it before. It meant so much to have someone who actually understood.
I am going to try to get scheduled next week to get back on meds so I can be in the driver's seat again. Just trying to hang on this weekend until then. And if it doesn't work out I must force myself to keep trying, and not give in.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. You got this! I can tell you that you have a much better handle on this than me, and it is inspiring. You are helping the rest of us so much!
Thank you for sharing your journey! I have a loved one with schizophrenia and I value your insight! Just remember school will always be there but your kids are only little once. I think you are doing so much right now with your UA-cam channel and caring for your family. Embrace your kids and husband, get in a good routine with them, then incorporate your studies a little at a time, so as not to take away from your family balance. That's just my opinion. Caring for children, for any of us, can be very stressful. Take it slow. Sending hugs and love.❤
You are very self aware, and authentic. I don't have Schizophrenia, but I deal with anxiety on a daily basis, along with an autoimmune condition, which causes pain from head to toe. Thank you for sharing your journey!
Tamie, I also do not have mental illness, but physical illness. I experience M.E./CFS and fibromyalgia. There are things that I tried to take on that I had to cancel because my health situation just couldn’t support it. It’s a bummer, but it’s called facing reality.🌻
Have u heard of LDN?
I hear you. Routine is a daily practice for my health on all levels. Bedtime and waking. Relieve myself. I make my bed. Medicate my special needs rescue pup. Take them out. Drink 16 oz, of water. Do yoga maybe some gardening. Healthy meals. Scanning the news. Reading. Cleaning, shopping, bills...Caring for my dearest. Routine helps me cope. Good luck with school.
I use a mantra "Don't make decisions considering your ideal self, make decisions for your current self" I use this because I would take on extra projects and workload thinking I can do it without considering my capacity which is very slim that was the reason why I dropped the idea of doing masters because honestly I don't have any more mental space.
My willingness to socialize went into the dumps during the pandemic and hasn’t recovered much. Being introverted by nature and having the ability to work from home makes it hard to make myself go out and talk to people face to face. I am glad that you are feeling better and it sounds like you have a really good strategy to improve your life. I wish you the best.
I am an extrovert through and through and became an introvert solely bc of the pandemic. Am actually kind of enjoying it even if it's lonely. Finding a balance slowly.
I just got out of psychosis and executive function is so difficult, I thank God that my husband and daughter are there for me like Rob is for you. Just knowing you're not alone is enough to know to keep going ❤
Lauren, I experience physical illness, and if I don’t get proper sleep and rest, it throws my body into a flare that can last for a week. Sleep is a must!❤
Your mentally more healthy than people I know without any mental health diagnosis or outward symptoms. Structure is important for everyone. I suffer from ptsd and bipolar, and I need structure or I get into depression. Everyone needs structure for mental health. Everyone gets mental health issues when they don’t sleep enough. You should give yourself more credit.
You are so well-spoken. I do not know anyone (that I know of) who has a mental illness, but I have much more compassion for those with such illnesses because of you. I hope you are able to go back to school and really enjoy it.
Thank you, Lauren, for your bravery in coming forward with, and sticking with, your podcast. I feel that your sharing must be helpful to many people who struggle not just with 'DSM symptoms,' but at least as much with the deep internalization of lingering 'old-school civilizational stigmas' about & towards folks who are more often in communion with 'non-ordinary states of conscious being-ness,' or thereabouts, than your average Joes, Jane's, &or Jerrys.
That's a paraphrase of Stanislav Grof, one of the more prominent elucidators of, more or less, Carl Jung's maverick branch of so-called 'Western Psychology/Psychiatry,' the Transpersonal School of Thought & Practice, of which I am a regularly vigorous adherent, of course in my own peculiar way.
In case you're not aware, the foundational spark-nugget of transpersonal-ness is to seriously question "mainstream 'western medicine's' " blanket interpretation of any & all 'DSM-adjacent' states of consciousness as what I prefer to call 'dyspathological.'
(It is, I 'feel'ieve,' a huge problem that the entire edifice of western so-called civilization literally equates any notable degree of more-than-ordinarily intense fEElings (literally, 'pathos') (not to mention fEEling-perfused, dream/myth-like thought-streams, be they 'mierr daydreams,' 'prelusions,' delusions, or just-lucid-enough 'translusions') with disease. In the Medical Acadamy, pathos=disease, richness of human experience (not to mention the art of effective classically-constructed rhetoric) be damned!
In other words, DSM-adjacent 'experiencers of disconcerting depths of feeling-infused-meaning are, in fact, the closest to breaking free of the overwhelmingly oppressive shackles of the extreme degree of behavioral-style conformity in so-called 'advanced, complex, {hierarchicacly- and role- arbitrary style-rule-bound} industrial (nature-dissociated) civilization.
I have had several diagnoses; I prefer my own description of my experience-style as 'sustainably adaptive wholophreñia.'
Lauren….you will always DO BETTER and advance, because: you ACKNOWLEDGE your issues, you ADDRESS the struggle, you VERBALIZE what you perceive, and make an EFFORT to improve the situation. LIVE your life the best you can. YOU ARE BLESSED! Thank you, because you help me.
I think you are doing just fine.
You have it together, don't give in to the negative ideas in your own head.
Break the cycle.
Own every last bit of it.😉
The idea of knowing your capacity is very powerful. I've never thought of it this way, but it is very true.
I struggle with this alot too as Im a single parent & the current thing of society is hussle! I want to do the things & if Im not in the right head space, Ill suffer later for it 😢
Living with serious mental illness is really hard. I'm still figuring things out, too. I went to the psych ward last October and it was a terrible, traumatizing experience. My local psych ward is decent (I've been there before) and I checked myself into the hospital assuming that I would go there. Nope. It was full and they transferred me 200 miles away into the middle of the biggest city in my state. I was locked up with gang members and other violent people. Several people had to be restrained and injected with haldol because they were screaming their lungs out. One of the gang thugs pretended to punch the guy who was teaching us meditation in the face, stopping an inch from his face. Then he picked up a table and slammed it down on the floor. Another guy was bragging about how he had only come there to avoid jail time and telling how he had hidden his gun and money. I'll never go back to a psych ward voluntarily.
Dear Lord what a nightmare 😱
Lauren you have helped me so much. My family took my son off me at a low point in my life, when i was experiencing domestic violence and i was about to see a lawyer. They locked me in a room as my son was takenby his violent father. They wrote to the Judge and said i had bi-polar which i dont. I was fortunate to have a great GP, love and support. I have debilitating anxiety at times. I was raped at 17 while at a training course. I went out with other 17 year olds drank to much and while waiting for a taxi with my friends got taken by two men. I blocked it out. I got terrible anxiety with controlling authoritative men. Years later i studied social work. My son was given to me by the Judge. I got my degree. The stigma of being mentally unwell, orbeing accussed of it, as though it is a defect and something to punish us can be so despairing. Like being a mental health slave to those that stigmatise us. Your channel is life changing. I am pushing back against ignorance and stigmatisation. During my degree the memories of tge rape came up. I had 3 years of great counselling. Make sure you have self care days. Stop any pressure to 'be' something. You are enough. You are worthy. You deserve love, peace,quiet, doubt, support and most of all to be unconditionally loved and accepted. Do you unconditionally love yourself? I to want to do my Masters. Im not going to rush it. Well done for recognising the codependence xxx your family are beautiful xxxx❤❤❤❤
I was reading yesterday about how 30 minutes of aerobic exercise (not super intense) will activate the vagus nerve system which is helpful in emotional regulation. I know it helps with cPTSD for me. I imagine it helps with psychotic disorders too. With ADHD and cPTSD I have found I don't function well at all without structure either. It is a very important tool for me.
As someone with depression for now 3 yrs since I was 15, i feel change helps a lot, and that change doesn't necessarily have to be well planned out, infact I've had unexpected mood alleviations from unexpected changes. Sending ❤
I hear you. I see you. My own illness was mostly under control until a major traumatic event completely changed my life and I had to start over. Finding my capacity has been extremely important. I keep a calendar and make a list of what is needed for the next day in order of priorty. For example, tomorrow I have to go to a new dentist, which will be hard because of the unknown, the strangers, the actual dentist, then going to the pharmacy which is thankfully drive through. Knowing that will be a very draining day, I cooked enough food tonight to have leftovers of one of my favorite meals for supper tomorrow.
It took me years, literally, to learn to say no that time or day wont suit for professional appointments because I already had my limit on the calendar. I live alone with a cat and a dog, so it's just me to keep the house clean. Sometimes it gets messy. I forgive myself that. Forgiving myself for not vacuuming took ages. I know my triggers, I know how to plan for them and manage them for the most part, but if the schedule gets too full, or stressful, I forgive myself and have a lazy day. This week Monday I made phone calls to schedule appointments for the next 6 weeks. One appointment per week. I know the dentist tomorrow is going to make another sometime soon, so I have my paper calendar which is my reminder I can't miss seeing. I have my calendar in my phone and computer with the same times, dates and specifics like phone numbers and addresses.
I could blame the pandemic for losing friends, but the truth is I was avoidant a long time before that. Last minute cancellations were common enough so I got dropped off most of everyone's social calendar. Also, some of them were just plain old unsympathetic to my symptoms, so no great loss of them. The thing is I am a totally different person now since my last breakdown, and I am finally ok with that. I didn't need to forgive myself for changing. I needed to embrace my new self and start over on how to function. And I'm doing ok. Not to say I don't cry ridiculously easily, or gets scared, or paranoid, or have anxiety attacks, I do. But sticking to my routine really has helped. A friend from long ago had a cross stitch in her kitchen that said Routine, Sweet Routine. I'm living by that motto. Thank you for sharing, it really helps with the feelings of isolation.
Does someone finianxially support you ?
thank you for saying this. since this whole video series began, i've also had a big moment of "i haven't figured this out at all" with my anxiety and identity. it just helps me to hear someone say that "i'm still working on this". also you saying that "i talked about this in therapy" helps normalize it for me. just thank you for your transparency. hope you are doing as well as you can be and continue to grow
I suffer from generalized anxiety and panic disorder and your channel helps me a lot. ❤
try b1 vitamin and magnesium please come back and comment if you take it and it works. it has helped me so much i was panicking all the time it all stopped. i started with low dose b1, i broke the pill in have and took 1 whole mag pill every day
You are probably already exploring this, but at least for colleges in the United States there is a thing called full-time equivalency. Basically, you and your team of medical professionals decide what constitutes a full amount of work for you, and then you let the college know what your personal full-time credit load would be considered. This allows you to still be considered a full-time student while still taking the load that is manageable for you.
On a different note, I have been really struggling with executive functioning, and I can definitely relate to your experience of being able to function better when doing tasks with others. I live by myself and, while I function at my job, the rest of my life is barely squeaking by. but last week I went on vacation with my family and tasks that I would normally find insurmountable were so much easier because there was that peer pressure and because folks were doing the tasks themselves alongside me so it felt like a team effort. I wish I had a solution, but at the moment I can at least say that I fully relate to finding it easier to stay on task and initiate tasks when I am living in community with others.
I hope you recover soon Lauren. I was hospitalised last year and because it was a year ago and I felt better I thought I can do anything, I'm invincible. But then I had a stressful week and haven't had as much sleep as I usually do and I've noticed some symptoms come back. I've had to learn that my capacity is limited and I have to learn how to help myself stay well
I have chronic pain, autoimmune disease and fibromyalgia. And as you spoke my mind took out the word mental when you said you had a chronic mental illness. I have a chronic physical illness and our conditions are so different, but everything you said would help you, will help me as well. Communication with my support system, boundaries, realistic goals, and proper rest/down time that works for me. We're so different, but so much the same. Thank you for sharing, its going to help me so much. Wishing you the best as well. ❤
I have RA fibro and have been on LDN ! Soo much change with pain. I suggest you look it up.
I have to work on schedule, routine and daily self care with ease ❤❤❤ very logical plan thanks for the education
I relate to this so so much! and the most difficult thing for me is accepting that my capacity is lower than I would want it to be, I want to do a million things and I am always frustrated about 'not doing enough' and at the same time I have been pushing myself past my capacity for so long I am incredibly burnt out which decreases my capacity more, it's like a vicious cycle unfortunately
I have ADHD and GAD, and could relate to so much of what you said in this video. I, too, struggle with gauging my true capacity versus my ideal capacity and tend to take on more than l can handle, which invariably leads to extreme GAD symptoms and much unnecessary suffering. I am determined to work on this and to prioritize my health. Thank you for an inspiring and honest video!!❤
These updates are great for me personally, they always help when I’ve been dealing with symptoms
I struggle with social anxiety. It’s starting to take over my life. And I don’t want that. I’m trying to work it out but I seem to be failing. Thank you for your honest explanations.
Oh my gosh, every word, every word of this post resonates with me. I recently quit work (because I was doing so badly) and am in the process of applying for Person with Disability status. I am 59 and have been struggling for a long long time. But that idea of living within your capacity is so important. Managing sleep is my number one issue, there are so many things that disturb my sleep. Even with time off, I think I am about 50/50 with sleeping at night. And the day after not sleeping is no joke. My memory is always bad, but on days like today, it is non-existent. I think memory is connected to executive functioning. I am learning, very slowly, and with a lot of slips, what I can handle and what I can't. I think ambition is my weak point. I want to do so much. But you know, on the good side, I am finding that I am being more gentle with myself on the bad days, giving myself kudos for simple things, making and eating good meals, not getting stuck on playing online card games.
Lauren, thank you so much for your clarity and for working through all this and communicating it to us. I wish you the very best in re-shaping your life to increase ease and happiness. Best wishes to Rob and baby too.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. The first few minutes of your content made me sit right up straight. I live with someone who struggles at times, especially times of stress. They have been trying to explain how lack of organization and structure throws them. I took it personally. I am now beginning to understand how important it is for their mental health. You may well have saved a relationship.
With my therapist I’ve been working on Spotlighting instead of setting goals. Spotlighting is what I am going to focus on for the next month.
I like your idea of what is expected of you within your family and relationship, it’s a good idea to write that out so you can focus on those and have something concrete and task oriented to focus on.
My diagnosis is bipolar affective disorder and I struggle with routine. My mind gets so chaotic and disorganised that sticking to a routine or even writing down a routine is a struggle. I found your comments about study so validating for my own experience. I have dropped out of my honours course 3 times! And I had a break-down during my study because of the lack of routine and constant stress. I think the word 'capacity' is an apt word. I also became co-dependent on my husband and it became very toxic; it sounds like you and Rob have a better communication than I did with my husband.
Thank you SO much for talking about these issues. I struggle SOOOO much with both accepting and working within my capacity. Also, maybe you've noticed this too, but sometimes I am capable of more...so I make big decisions in these periods of more wellness...which then wears me out and causes me to be more unwell so then I have to quit, which feels bad. Ugh. Anyways, this is so hard!
So much of your journey, your struggles, your hospitalizations are so familiar are familiar to me in going thru is with my schizoaffective daughter for these past 13 years. The ups with more downs. Watching her being taken away, strapped to a gurney, her face contorted with the silent scream & all I could do was watch. In trying to do the best for her I made so many mistakes & feel so guilty for them. Especially when she asked me to be her guardian & I refused because I didn't want control over her life. Then 3 years ago, the confined mental healthcare center to which she was confined and probably has spent years at, out of the blue petitioned to have a guardian appointed for her. My daughter has a heightened sense of justice & didn't believe they could do that if she was not there so at the time of the Zoom meeting she chose to elope from there & what she succeeded was in making the guardianship a done deal. I was allowed to talk with her on the phone, but not to visit her.
Previous to having the guardian I would see her every Saturday and we would go out on a 4 hour pass. I could see her as I went down the hallway to her unit, anxiously waiting for me and giving me a big hug when I was buzzed in. I never brought her back late a single time and every Saturday she was looking forward & excited about the visit.
What I have learned these past 4 years is that is that as bad as I though it was, it would get worse because her current guardian, the latest of 3 and who has never met me or spoken with me issued a no contact rule for me--no visits, not even phone calls. As it has turned out she had no visits from family, loved ones, or friends for nearly 3 years. How great is it for a severely mentally ill person to be cut off from every person she cares about for 3 years. I'm not sure if she was transferred, hospitalized, or even die if they would let me know. The thing I regret the most is that I did not agree to become her guardian when she asked & that's a regret that eats away at me to my very bones, the "if I had only..."
have you talked to a lawyer? none of this should be happening - who is picking these guardians and why aren't you being allowed to take over? I honestly have to wonder if there's something shady going on with the facility itself. I hope you're able to get back in touch with her soon.
@@carriefernandez8705 Since I am poor & retired, unless I could find a lawyer who would take my case pro bono, I'm out of luck. This was done legally in court with a judge on Zoom during the pandemic. I was on my daughter's team then, but since February I'm under no contact with her. She is in the mental healthcare center where she has been on & off for years, more than living on her own. The guardian is part of a statewide court approved guardianship corporation & who she has depends on where she lives in the state. This current guardian is her third one and has never talked with me.
My daughter is on SSI, gets $1000/month but is only given $100/month allowance. As she has told me, she is in the system and as long as somebody can make a buck off of her that's where she will stay. She is really in a prison and had more freedom when she was 5 & could walk alone to the corner store to buy candy, but prison inmates have more rights than the mentally ill.
I got diagnosed with schizophrenia in February and I have had ana episode since. I guess I'm always waiting for the shoe to drop but I'm on medication that's been helpful and haven't had severe symptoms and it makes me happy that I have support from my friends and family.
Making a to do list but then taking the second step of prioritizing which tasks should be done first, second and so on is something that lets me have more ease in my life. 🙂
These coping skills are universal solutions to wellness, in general. *Thank you for sharing.
I also have Schizophrenia. I implore you to connect with our God through our Lord Jesus Christ. As well as to read and or listen to our entire Bible. A man in my past introduced me to this, and I am sharing the good deed.
So that you may also know our truth. I do hear voices, I speak to them. Sometimes I have mental fog, sometimes I'm tortured at night and cannot fall asleep, yet my faith in Our Heavenly Father and God allows me to stay and take onto his discipline.
I suffer from debilating anxiety amd panic disorder, l think we all are within our struggles, you're vlogs are so comforting and its nice to know lm not alone in struggling with mental health.
try b1 vitamin and magnesium please come back and comment if you take it and it works. it has helped me so much i was panicking all the time it all stopped. i started with low dose b1, i broke the pill in have and took 1 whole mag pill every day
Your bedroom gives off such good, light, calm, bright vibes. Love it!
Hi Lauren. I wanted to suggest a system that I use to keep myself on track most days. I use a wall calendar and highlighters. I also use squares of scrap paper to write my daily to do list. I usually have those written up a few days in advance. The calendar helps with planning months or weeks in advance and the to do lists help me plan days in advance. This eases my stress and helps me feel more in control of my schedule. Its simple but helpful. You could probably do this easier on your phone, but I prefer it in front of me. I try to leave space for the unexpected things that pop up too. I hope this is helpful.
You are so well spoken. You seem to be able to express yourself so easily. I struggle to express myself. I’m French, but speak English 50 percent of the time with my husband and some friends. I think it affects the way I try to express myself. I flip flop between languages in my mind.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and perhaps even more valuable your inner workings with schizophrenia. We have a loved one in our family that is learning how to live with this condition. He seldom wants to talk about it, although I think recently he has come to accept his condition and is taking steps to managing it. I cannot stress how valuable your channel is to understandings him. I hope you take good care of yourself. Your open vulnerability in your videos must be incredibly difficult and it is so appreciated by us.
me too, living with my sister with schizophrenia, and she doesn't communicate much about it. But I see her making steps and am committed to keeping it positive in our home.
Ive started incorporating yoga in my daily scedule as well as breathing exercises for my mental health. Im not very flexible but im active atleast 😊
Hi Lauren
First off, congratulations for going back to school and seeking that MA in Social Work. I wish you nothing but the best yet with all the help your good self and Rob have give me over the years that hardly seems enough. ♥️
Like you I struggle to obtain that structured document that to know what to seek when I’m having a bad time of life or if I’m struggling with psychosis. Sometimes I wonder if there’s any point to it or if I’m exasperating them so that’s what I’m left with atm.
I’m a bloke in my 40s who lives on his own with my cat. My family with exception of 1 member is difficult to manage. I do struggle with the social side of life though recently I have been applying myself to seek friends to which I have a good bag of them.
I regularly attend a mental health recovery unit during the weekdays except I’m quite asocial or introverted atm so I seek solace in reading. Which is a struggle enough with the maxed out medication I’m on as my concentration isn’t quite attuned to my levels of expectation of what I want to achieve.
I try and apply myself with a Coursera course as I can’t afford to go back to Uni and I’m unsure if my intellect is what it once was.
Sometimes life can seem pretty doomed yet i do not want to fall into the trap of learned helplessness.
I can empathise with codependency. Sometimes I wish I had an adaptive side where it’s generally applicable to my life except I am getting use to the fact that I am never going to meet anyone as my low libido isn’t quite with the drive to seek out a partner anyhow. 🤭
I know the journey through mental illness is a tricky one to get right. Especially when you can be around everyone on the planet and still feel all alone in one’s struggles. I also know though that you’re a very loving, caring and compassionate Being that a lot of people could take notes from.
Please keep safe, Lauren. The world needs people like you. ♥️
Wow, thank you for communicating your thoughts with your viewers. So much of what you expressed applies to my life too! I'm recently retired and struggling with creating a meaningful routine for myself. I was so physically and emotionally tired from working that I've just been taking care of me and resting. Now that I'm feeling energized again, I too am trying to create a healthy balanced meaningful routine and it's a challenge! I appreciate that you use the word capacity. I've been using the words limits and that is such a negative word. So thank you. Capacity is so full of potential! Thank you for helping your listeners. You articulate your experience so well that it helps me consider my own "stuff" that I'm dealing with. Thanks so much. Live Well!!!!
I have severe OCD and panic disorder, just recently found your channel. So much you said in this video is so true for me. I have been struggling with a lot of symptoms after a series of stressful events. I have talked with my husband about canceling a long weekend trip bc it interferes with my routine too much right now and having to socialize beyond what I’m capable of. I feel a tremendous amount of guilty as a mother. Fortunately, my kids are older and understand and we will make it up to them. But im sure it’s disappointing for them. It’s so nice to hear that im not the only one with a chronic mental illness that has these difficulties. Im actually considering joining you pateron. I hope to get to a point were I can work full time again
I think your strategy to create a "task list/task description" for helping you figure out how to take ideas and make them actionable is brilliant. Finding balance, finding what works, no matter how it looks. Really amazing to listen to you.
I’m always afraid to trigger you but you look GORGEOUS. Like glowing from the inside!
Glad to hear that you get that exercise is to destress and when it adds stress it’s too much. Also napping is big thing for me. Must have time to nap.
The ups and downs get better with age, and experience. It takes a great amount of strength, and character to make UA-cam videos. It’s so helpful knowing that not only I could learn from your experience, but also that I could relate.
Thank you.
Most optimistically, things fall apart in order to come together again in a more flexible, sustainably networked way. Your approach to wellness is a path of creative integration and inspiration-a path in which healing yourself is producing an individualized abstract organizational chart of your existence. I imagine a next step in which your husband’s life-chart is co-ordinated with your own, growing to family and friends-maximizing everyone’s capacities for “co-operation”
I've had generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder and inattentive ADHD which fuels my disorders. And I've always struggled with academics and having a routine that sets me up to be successful and to not let my mental illness get in the way of having opportunities. It feels like a never ending battle
I enjoy your personality, perspectives, and insights. Many of the thoughts you have about managing your illness are applicable to everyone, even those who don't have schizophrenia. I especially liked your ideas about how structure adds to stability. I'll ponder how to incorporate that more into my life. Thank you so much for being transparent with your viewers; you are a lovely person and a blessing to your viewers.
Hi Lauren, just wanted to drop a quick note to say thank you for your content. I`ve been watching since about 30, and I find these videos extremely comforting.
Thank you for sharing your vacay pics! What a beautiful family pic and the really candid pic of you in the air was great! So glad you took the time to have family fun. I think a structured life is invaluable but doing fun, healthy activities now & then are important.
I appreciate your ability to name the experience of feeling held back by impaired executive function. Capacity was a helpful word for me to hear. Understanding what I sometimes can accomplish vs. actual fluctuations, and working within current levels with compensatory strategies, is humbling but necessary. Thanks for educating those who can hear your stories, especially medical personnel, so they look to see what's true for the individual patient before them and can themselves retain mental flexibility, perspective, and informed direction of medical care. Like other changes going on in our culture, it requires work to rethink responses in real time. Thank you.
Stay strong. Routine is still a struggle for me. I’m adhd, asd, ptsdc, and have ednos. It’s a struggle structure is important. Thanks for sharing
While I don’t have the same chronic mental illness, I’m amazed at the overlaps. I’ve burnt myself out working a job I love but learning that my ability to meet the needs and have a healthy full filling life are not compatible? It’s scary to change but I’m also excited to focus on my needs! Thanks always for sharing and connecting us and easing the panic that feeling alone can cause.
you and Rob seem like a good team
Bandwidth-threshold-capacity
I get where you’re coming from! Structure and sleep are so important
We all carry our stuff in society, I wish you well!
Woah I don't have schizoaffective disorder, I have bipolar, but I relate so much to what you are saying. When I got released from hospital I felt the need to feel useful and do stuff and I wanted to go back to work immediately. However I was mentally nowhere near ready and my psychiatrist did not let me go back. I didn't understand back then but now looking back I get it and I am thankful because going back would have been overwhelming and would have worsened my mental state
I don’t envy you. What you deal with is not easy and you bringing awareness to the situation is a blessing to many.
I completely understand what you are saying here. It is very difficult to find that capacity and stay within in. It’s also hard for other people to understand that it exists. My husband is trying very hard to understand and it’s so frustrating for him. I am trying to be a communicative as possible. We also are working on the dividing up tasks as well. Thank you so much for your insight.
I know this was specific for someone with a chronic condition. But I somehow related to the points you were saying about understanding what your capacity is. I've been struggling with general health (mind and body) and the impact burnout has (work and parenting) and I came to the realization that if I want to be healthy I can not operate at the capacity I glamorize at work and at home. I need to make room for health. When I don't, I feel the immediate effect.
Hi Lauren, I recently heard of the 12 spoons theory which is based on our energy/life tasks and priorities,
have you ever heard about it?
I am sending you virtual hugs and strength. ❤
As someone who struggles with executive functioning, I can definitely relate to feeling like it's ableist when people expect me to complete tasks that I simply can't due to my disability. It can be scary to admit this to myself and to others, but it's important to remember that everyone has different abilities and limitations. ♿️🤔
I think it's crucial that we all keep in mind the impact of ableism and strive to be respectful and understanding towards those with disabilities. By doing so, we can create a more inclusive and accepting society for everyone. #disabilityrights #ableismawareness #inclusionmatters
Routine is so very important. I like to wake up at 6-7am every day and go for a long early morning walk with my chihuahua, when it’s foggy and peacefully quiet outside. I like to walk through the woods and to the beach, and I like smelling the air, the plants, and hearing the birds and the wind. I feel out of sorts if I miss a day of doing this. I need to walk a lot for my sanity too. I try to do 5-7 miles daily.
I am so, so, so impressed at how articulated you are. It's something I wish I had. I'm seriously envious. I could use the excuse that English is a second language but I'm just as bad in French.
A light turned on while I was listening to your video. When I was younger, I'm 70 now, I didn't like routine. I thought it was the most boring thing one could do to waste if not ruin their life. For many years I was an unmedicated bipolar. Finally, I am medicated, and my life is such a routine that I couldn't understand why I am so happy with this situation. Thanks to you I have an answer to something that was really intriguing me.
I'm virtually giving you a big, big hug of encouragement.
Take good care of yourself.
Love
Nicole
Many 'healthy' people could have troubles managing school and kids at the same time. It's important to accept that we all have a line when we cant take anymore stress or work. I hope she sometimes can go to school and strive forward with that though because we need something to see forward to and to develop ourselves
I have schizoaffective since age 17, I would hear voices they help me write brilliant term papers, I worked 2 jobs and attended University of Hawaii part-time, it took me 5 1/2 years to graduate, I got my BA in Telecommunications (Radio and TV Broadcasting) then began my career in TV. I worked for 20 years and could not handle the stress of Broadcasting Live News Cast, in 30 mins. I get more stress than people get in 1 months, remember we do 3 newscast per night live we can not afford to make any mistakes in Live news cast. I filed for SSDI and received the award . It was also difficult that my spouse had major depression, my wife just got SSDI this year. Having a marriage and 2 daughters has been very difficult to do, I finally quit TV work after another 6 years. I now sleep 3 hours a day, I have written 4 books on Amazon, also do Stand Up Comedy, sell plants and grow plants, have 10 side businesses, I suffer from Delusions of Grandeur, but some how I muddle through all the stuff. I still feel low at times, with negative self-talk, it always a challenge every day.
i was so happy to hear that you are going to pursue a masters in social work and was reminded of “The Center Cannot Hold” by Elyn Saks ❤
What you said about codependency has resonated with me. My mam and I have a deeply codependent, enmeshed relationship. I've been caring for her since I was a child because of her epilepsy and brain injury. Good on you being self-aware.
Also, maybe talking to an occupational therapist/neuropsychologist may help with the executive dysfunction.
You are a fabulous, intelligent, and articulate communicator. Love you and best wishes.
Structure, capacity, and acceptance have all been challenging for me too as someone with a psychotic illness.
One thing I want to stress is that sometimes the limitations come from people in our lives that are limiting us.
I’m glad you are exploring co-dependency, but please don’t pathologize yourself. I think there are interpersonal factors beyond your control that are contributing to some of these concerns.
Good luck and I wish you freedom and happiness.
Thank you for making these videos. You have a really great channel, you are helping a huge number of people of all kinds right across the planet. I just hope that this is helping you too. You are very lucid, very compassionate and very courageous 🌺
Please continue to take care of yourself as you can and be proud of your life and accomplishments. It's okay to have routines and to know when to take a break. And yes sleep is so important. I'm happy you like to run and that it makes you feel better in a way. My meds helps me as well.You are so brave and strong. thank you for sharing your story and struggles with us. Your're lucky to have a husband so carring and understanding. Sending you love and light💛from montreal
I have a relative with the same diagnosis and one symptom I noticed was that she thought she could do or be ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! That wasn’t her before her break from reality and her diagnosis. That has to be really hard feeling like you CAN do anything, but is it right for your situation. Is it the BEST thing for you at this time in your life. I think it’s really crucial to listen to the people who love you most, because they have your best interests at heart 💜
10:27 struggling with abstract thoughts - nail on the head ❤
Thanks for sharing. I started grad school for Social Work 2 years ago, but then unexpectedly I experienced a long mixed episode of mania and depression. I had to put it on hold halfway through the semester. I finished those 2 classes this past fall even though in September I had COVID and that triggered an episode of mania. I plan to start classes again in Jan. I am still working on providing structure in my life and transform bad habits into good habits.