The Snowman - Awfully Good Movies
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- Опубліковано 27 лис 2019
- With FROZEN II letting it go and freezing out the box office competiton this past weekend, it's time to get in the Thanksgiving spirit and be thankful that we didn't get a sequel to a far less beloved snowman tale: the 2017 Norwegian-set thriller known as THE SNOWMAN! Before Martin Scorsese gave us his newest mob masterpiece THE IRISHMAN, Marty was originally set to direct this cinematic adaptation of Jo Nesbo's best-selling thriller, but would instead end up executive producing the film instead and handing off his director's chair to Tomas Alfredson, the acclaimed Swedish auteur who brought us the original LET THE RIGHT ONE IN and the Gary Oldman remake of TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY. Plus, the film had none other than Michael Fassbender, fresh off the runaway success of...erm, the ASSASSIN'S CREED movie, starring as the film's alcoholic wild-card detective Harry Hole--that's supposed to be pronounced "hoo-leh", BTW, but the film insists on pronouncing it as just plain "Hole", and the fact that our lead character's name reminds you of a hairy asshole will end up being one of the smaller problems with this film.
You see, Tomas Alfredson was prevented by Universal Pictures from filming 10 to 15 percent of this movie in order to take advantage of an expiring tax credit, and when you end up with a mystery movie that doesn't have all the pieces to its puzzle, it's only natural that the puzzle will end up falling apart. Sure, you could tell that the filmmakers wanted the Harry Hole series to become the next big detective movie series in the vein of your GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOOs and your SHERLOCK HOLMESes, but when your central mystery involves:
--a serial killer whose "frightening" signature is building a stupid-looking snowman in front of his victims' houses; --Val Kilmer playing another alcoholic detective on the Snowman Killer case whose voice has been horribly dubbed due to Kilmer's fight with throat cancer;
--a sex-trafficking ring run by wealthy businessman J.K. Simmons, sporting a Norwegian accent that makes him sound more like a cartoonish British snob;
--Chloe Sevigny popping up as both one of the Snowman Killer's beheaded victims and the victim's twin sister who serves no discernible function to the plot;
--AND the Snowman Killer shaking his ass around dancing to the "Popcorn" song...then it's safe to say that Martin Scorsese made a good choice in not directing this bleak, dreary, badly edited and unfinished slog of a thriller in which there are no thrills to be found. Hey, Marty, if you think that the Marvel movies don't qualify as "real cinema", then I've got a snowman in Oslo, Norway which I'd like to sell to you.
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#TheSnowman #MichaelFassbender #AwfullyGoodMovies - Розваги
Everyone is so bummed out over Val's voice. He is a cancer survivor and still with us and that's what counts!! His silent, eccentric character in the movie snowman was awesome!
Man seeing Val Kilmer in very bad pain throat cancer is freaking painful.
Yeah..... it's very heartbreaking to see how frail he's become due to his throat cancer, I grew up watching Batman Forever and I always enjoyed his interpretation of Batman. I honestly hope he pulls through with his recovery.
@@tonymata8070 He seems to be doing much better. Unfortunately, it appears that he will never be able to speak again. He has a relatively new biographical documentary called "Val" out streaming. It's a good watch.
@@dvt1393 That’s very sad to hear but I’m glad that he’s doing a lot better.
7:28
*"It's none other than Screeming Baldy performing his smash hit single 'I Just Stepped on a LEGO!'"*
OMG I'm dying!!! XD
This was one of the funniest film reviews I’ve ever seen. That is all.
i guess it is kinda randomly asking but does anybody know a good website to watch new movies online ?
I saw this in the cinema... So much talent, so much boredom.
"So much talent... so much boredom." Oscar winning movies in a nutshell.
All these great actors were obviously attached because of Scorsese. He pulled out and they'd already signed! Classic.
I'm sure that they were encouraged by Tomas Alfredson signing on, considering how well his first two films were received.
Jesse Shade Oh yeah. Let The Right One In is amazing.
When I learned that this was by the director of Let the Right One In I paused the video and left the room because I couldn't handle the gravity of the news.
There, there, my friend...take the time you need. We're here for you.
I paused the video and said to myself "that can't be right"... One Google search later and I'm still trying to get my head around how that can happen..
Fun fact.
Val kilmer came to long Beach city college to show his mark Twain play. He jokingly said that he sounds like Sylvester the cat on Quaaludes.
LOL, great to hear that Kilmer has a sense of humor about his predicament, and that he's still touring that Mark Twain play of his. The dude seems to have been humbled by his experience with cancer after sort of losing his mind with egomania in the 90s, and I'm happy that he's gonna pop up in TOP GUN 2; I just hope that he is voiced over by someone who actually sounds like him this time. Thanks so much for the anecdote!
@@JeonardShadby505
You're absolutely welcome, Jesse.
Much Love.
Universal didn't work on the film.
Snowman was done by working title who caused the production issues.
Universal just distributed the film.
Duly noted.
It’s the snow that sets the killer off...the snow in Norway
I considered watching this movie in theaters. Man. Anyway, that concert scene with the guy “singing” is like the perfect sum up for this movie. Just screaming and nothing makes sense!
I read somewhere that they didn't shot enough footage from the script and tried rescuing the movie in the editing room
Poor Val Kilmer. I do hope one day his voice and health returns.
Fassbender, Ferguson, Simmons, Chloe Sveginy, Toby Jones, Jamie Clayton... so much talented wasted here it's a shame.
I only know 1 name on that list.
you know what, that opening fight club quote hits me every time. i love it. puts a smile on my face every time
The Snowman ☃️ had a such deep story and a strong cast. Something special. Joker just felt generic on script.
-Martin Scorsese
Joker didn't had a script since it was written on the go.
@@Invidente7 No it did have a script. What happened was it was rewritten as they were filming. The original script got leaked months ago before the film released. Let's just say they were smart with the rewrites because it could've been a bad movie.
On my personal scale this review is f*cking 10/10!!!
Thanks, dude! And your comment goes all the way to 11!
@@JeonardShadby505 Your welcome.
With all your comments and added footage (mindblowing) like Beavis and Butthead or dancing on legos (incredible - I had a laughting fit) the film is actually watchable. And also the 20 minutes version is much better then the original 119 minutes. I watched it twice already! F*king brilliant and keep up the good work!!!
You should start selling this film (and all the others you review) on DVD: The Snowman - The watchable version. Only 20 minutes (for your pleasure)
Jesse, you outdid yourself with this episode!
Especially the part about "Popcorn" made me laugh SO hard!!
one of the all time great movie reviews, I heard how bad this movie was and with your brilliant and hilarious take-down review I feel I have already seen it without wasting 2 hours of my life, just really damn funny and clever, great job!!
(In bad Norwegian accent) “my uncle is my daddy!” 😆😂🤣
How dare you, my Norwegian accent is flawless! Or at least better than JK Simmons' accent!
That wire cutter weapon is also in Dario Argento's Trauma.
Ahh, duly noted! It seemed like something out of a giallo movie.
That's one you don't hear of much. Far better than the last couple of his flicks.
You're bait and switch at the start of this video was just perfect 👌
Omg that Popeye spinach “power-boost” reference with the glass of booze was hysterical especially with that perfectly timed theme tune with fassbenber’s “num-num” look on his face - I seriously laughed out loud at that one😂 you need to make that a repeating theme in different bad reviews when you can squeeze it in. Maybe being from Chicagoland, I find this more funny than most only because WFLD/FOX 32 had a complete love affair with rerunning that old cartoon probably more than any other city in the world growing up as a kid. So hilarious.
Hey Jesse!
I'm taking a break from the annual MST3K Turkey Day Marathon today to watch this episode....and as many times as I've seen the MST3K episodes that are featured in this year's marathon and have consistently laughed my ass off with each episode, your review of The Snowman is definitely keeping me in stitches.
Thanks again for bringing AGM to the masses and Happy Holidays! XOXO
Thanks so much, Denise, you are the best! Hope you enjoyed the Turkey Day marathon; I was alternating between watching that and some RiffTrax in between my food comas. As sad as it may be to have the show cancelled yet again (for now), it'll never truly die in our hearts, and I hope I can do my part to keep people smiling over bad movies. And thank you for your truly essential support as a fan and a friend!
@@JeonardShadby505 ...and I can't wait for the annual voting for the worst films of the year at JoBlo, but the problem is that there were SO MANY BAD MOVIES this year, it will be really difficult to have to select just one.
In looking at the past 11 months, the below films were some of the worst that were released, which I’m sure some of these will be included on ‘The Worst Movies of 2019’ voting ballot at JoBlo:
January: Replicas, Serenity, Glass
February: Isn’t It Romantic?, Cold Pursuit, The Prodigy
March: Medea Family Funeral, Dumbo, Captive State
April: Hellboy, The Curse of La LLorona, Pet Semetary
May: The Intruder, Ugly Dolls, The Hustle
June: X-Men: Dark Phoenix, MIB International, Shaft
July: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Stuber, The Lion King
August: The Kitchen, 47 Meters Down Uncaged, The Fanatic
September: The Goldfinch, Rambo: Last Blood, Ad Astra
October: Jexi, Gemini Man, Zombieland 2
November: Terminator Dark Fate, Charlie’s Angels, Playing With Fire
December: Cats, Black Christmas, Bombshell
(I’m predicting
& hoping)
If Cats is as bad as predicted, this will complete the ‘Rebel Wilson Trifecta of 2019’
!
@@DeniseFaraday Actually, I heard BOMBSHELL was being hailed as an Oscar contender. Plus, I don't know if I can get CATS on the list because it's out December 20th and I usually wrap up voting around the second week of December so that the video is ready by New Year's. However, I am planning on putting HOLMES AND WATSON on the poll as a late entry, so maybe I might do the same for CATS come 2020.
His voice sounds like Jimmy Stewart playing Bane😂🤣😅
It had one of the best trailer that year, too bad the movie is shit. Though consider the behind the scene drama I won’t blame the director or the actors
I thought the trailer was cool.
Hearing how much of a trainwreck the film is, I really want to see it.
Happy Thanksgiving, Jesse. We may not have anymore new MST3K episodes for now, but at least your still here to review these Turkeys.
Yep, truly sad news about the MST3K cancellation, but I'm hoping they find a new home as they have before. Plus we still have RiffTrax to fill the void. Thanks for the well wishes, dude, and thanks for being a fan; hope you have a great Thanksgiving as well!
Yeah, these movies are just so dumb. #BringBackMST3K Love Awfully Good Movies too.
I owned the snowman on VHS when i was a kid, me and my brothers watched it that much we wore it out, also the jungle book, robinhood who is a fox, moonwalker & kickboxer, we never had phones & tablets, just a classic nintendo and a sega master system with alex the kid built in to it!
Nice choice AGF!!! Saw this during a screening, damn near half the audience walked the hell out!!! All you need is Will Smith from After Earth shouting at a person walking out this trainwreck, "Denied!! Sit Down!!!" Also as request, can you review these flicks: The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, The Bonfire of the Vanities and Ladybugs?
You have made my thanksgiving! This was awesome, Jesse! 😂
And thank you for watching, dude, have a great Thanksgiving!
While you're at it, do "Counselor."
Also starring Michael Fassbender.
Also confusing.
That was at least a little better (kind of). I mean Cameron Diaz humps a car windshield....soooo theres that..🤷♂️
We're walking in the air
I honestly thought you'd dubbed in "Popcorn", now imagine Buffalo Bill dancing to "Disco Duck".
I laughed way too hard at the lego joke
I would love to hear your thoughts on Holmes and Watson
Actually, I think I'm going to talk about that flick on this year's Worst Movies list. Since it came out in theaters just as I was finishing last year's video--probably so that it would be too late for critics to add it to their Worst Movies lists last year--I'm gonna try and add it to the JoBlo poll for this year. So you may hear me discuss it quite a bit on my Worst Movies of 2019 video; stay tuned!
Jesse Shade I wouldn’t be shocked if it made number one on the list. And it was released at the same time as Stan and Ollie which means John C Reilly had a career low as well as a career high simultaneously.
Still better then this Turd
Wow that animated snowman Christmas special looks
Amazing!
i missed these! thanks for the Thursday laughs!
Good choice not to associate yourself with that Joker flop Martin.
John Porter
“Joker” is heavily indebted to “Taxi Driver” and “The King of Comedy”, so that’s a win for Marty.
I like the part where you used Spiderman: Far From Home with the part with Simmons here!
Great review!
That part was utterly thrilling to see in the theater. Can't wait to see if they do more with him in the third one.
And thanks for the compliment!
Can’t wait to see a third one too!
Also you’re welcome
i can see you really enjoyed doing this one. good work!
Thanks, dude! The editing of the episode was way more fun than watching the actual movie.
@@JeonardShadby505 he he he ... jesse just called me "dude" .. he!
When the movie is so boring you think about the unrealistic and frankly unnecessary logistics of building several snowmen in proximity of the victims unnoticed, while already having the seemingly laborious task of beeing a serial killer...
And didn't one of them even pop up in a chase sequence? I swear between figuring out if the killer led Magneto to that spot or building it mid-chase like a Looney Tune, I decided if that's my train of thought while watching this movie, I might take that thriller not that seriously...
It's actually a shame, since it does bring up rarely brought up issues, especially near the end which would deserve a better movie to support them, over the already waste of talent in front and behind the camera...
Laughed at your add-ins lol
'Harry Hole-in-one' kills me every time!
I was actually going to see the movie that year. And it was released in 2017? Wow, time went by fast.
Personally, 2018 was a year of slow-moving hell, so it feels more to me like four years have passed instead of two. Thankfully, things are continuing to pick up. Thanks for the comment!
The book is actually quite well written and the characters are more interesting. Couldn’t believe how horrible this movie was when I read it; the cast did what they could with the material left in, but oy vey
*Spoilers ahead*
If I feel cheated after watching a mystery movie, it's usually because of the revelation of the culprit's identity. THE SNOWMAN is an exception. DETECTIVES HARRY HOLE and KATRINE BRATT are after a murderer. During the last part, she's killed and he saves the day. I felt cheated because the movie was trying to tell me that he had been the hero from the beginning but, most of the time, we didn't see him doing a lot. I don't just mean police work; he rarely talked or moved. He was as boring as a snowman without a carrot nose. Why couldn't KATRINE, who did most of the work, be the heroine? Because HARRY is a man? Because Michael Fassbender is more famous than Rebecca Ferguson? Yes, I know that it's based on a novel where he's the hero too, but she didn't die in the novel, so you can't use the "Adaptations have to be faithful" excuse. That being said, this is a competent production that felt shorter than what it is. The 2 leads' performances are good, but Val Kilmer's is weak. Some of the directing choices feel out of place and the ending is too abrupt.
5/10
I remember Jack Frost. Micheal Keaton did the voice. Awesome
Jesse Shade is so funny!
Such great materials!
I paid money my hard earned money to see this movie. It did not disappoint. (That Double Toasted review is my favorite review of theirs.)
1:03 - What a great tease.
Mr. Assbender, what is your most prolific role?
Oh, definitely Harry Hole.
Is the escape killer turned into a snowman jackfrost the killer snowman? Or this is the European mystery killer movie about man who builds a snowman after some murders happened.
I see a new Awfully Good Movies, I click ASAP.
To be fair, I would watch The Snowman if it was a R Rated version of the Raymond Briggs story. That would explain why the kid from the story digivolved into Michael Fassbender. Look we all can dream.
Marlon Brando cursed Val Kilmer to sound like Marlon Brando
Who would throw a phone in someone’s face and take a picture, how rude!
I considered watching this is theaters but it didn’t happen. Then I finally watched it at home and holy shit, this movie was so terrible that it’s plot melted my brain! Man, what a horrible mess of a movie. I might’ve walked out of the theater had I watched it in theaters. And of all the positive and negative (mostly negative) things I took away from this movie, it was, funny enough, POPCORN! Lmao! Popcorn led me to learn more about Wendy Carlos and then to get the Switched on Bach album lol
That's awesome, dude, Wendy Carlos is amazing and I'm glad you got turned on to her work through this flick.
9:38
It sounds like the dubbing that censors use to cover up swear words in the Edited for TV version of a movie
"Yippee ki yay, *Mr. Falcon!*"
@@JeonardShadby505 I wonder if it's the same guy
*"The Snowman,"* not to be confused with *"The Snowman"* the childrens' classic by Raymond Briggs. A-okay. Hollywood's laughable attempt to do 'Scandi-noir.' Can't believe how many A-listers were conned into this crud. Very funny review as always.
I thought it was when I heard the title!
The remake of The Vanishing was kinda terrible too.
Harry Hole, hairy hole 😂
Love the comparison with *Color of Night*
I really hope we get a ‘Color of Night’ video
@@LucyLioness100 I already reviewed it three years ago!
I've never seen it & even i know not to rent it! But is it worth watching if you don't have to pay for it or will it just waste afew hours of your time?
I saw the trailer when it came out and thought it had promise and then I saw that title and it completely put me off.
as it's officially the season... Want a sprite cranberry?
I've actually tried some of that stuff, it's really good. Still wish that Pepsi would bring back Holiday Spice though.
Was kind of hoping the snowman was the killer all along.
It would've been too obvious for the killer to be mansnow
@@Theelectroarcheologist Or Danny DeVito as Mancheetah!
Ahh fucking hell it would had been fucking fun Iceman coming back kicking ass
That part at 7:29 got me cracking up and left my dead ass confused by this scene, I might not like Nostalgia Critic anymore for reasons but this right here is the quintessential example of a “Big Lipped Alligator Moment”, it happens out of nowhere and it’s never brought up again. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You're not alone on the Nostalgia Critic bandwagon. I've grown to dislike his actions (and lack of action) towards his fellow video creators, and as someone who was influenced by his work all through college, it really hurt to hear all this shit revealed about him. You're right, though, that was a total Big Lipped Alligator Moment.
And funny thing is, in the book, the concert that Oleg and Harry see is a Slipknot concert, and we all know the unfortunate intersection between that band and the Nostalgia Critic that went down recently.
@@JeonardShadby505 Don't know what happened with Slipknot but yeah seeing how transparent Channel Awesome was really hurt me too, now I support those who stopped working on that channel like Phelous, Lupa and Linkara.
@@tonymata8070 Slipknot's lead singer Corey Taylor cameoed in that shitty THE WALL review that the Critic did. And yeah, I still have respect for all those guys; need to catch up on their work.
Jesse Shade Say What?! I did not know that and from my fuzzy memory I think he appeared in another video before The Wall, I forgot which one was it.
enjoyable video glad i didn't waste my time watching. the way the film is shot, its looks good.
It’s not a good sign when a studio makes you shoot only part of the script to save money.
At least Paramount had the decency to film the entire script for the Sonic movie with that awful original design in mind.
(Edit: Turns out I was right in making a Sonic movie reference 12:28)
Now if they replaced all the snowmen with the original Sonic design, this movie would be a SILENCE OF THE LAMBS-level classic.
I tried to watch The Joker. Ugh. What a chore. I kept fast forwarding through it, and even then I still haven't finished it.
10:24 Best scene
The trailer for this film might be one of the worst funniest trailers ever. The contrast of the intense drama and the snowmen is hilarious
Plus there's a whole bunch of shit in that trailer which is nowhere to be found in the final movie--i.e. Chloe Sevigny getting her foot caught in a bear trap, Michael Fassbender trying to save his girlfriend and stepson from an exploded cabin, just to name a few.
9:48 WTF!!! DID THIS REALLY HAPPEN IN THE MOVIE???
Oh thanks for this critique as this is one of the truly terrible movies I’ve ever seen,my mother who recently passed away and was a big jo nesbo fan and who I watched this with,looked over at me and said is “it my imagination or is a absolute crock of shit of a movie “ I started laughing not having read any of the books and agreed and joking with her is the type of shit you read and her being a Nordic noir fan and looks like about 15 people edited,directed and changed the story and now I found out the legendary Thelma Schoonmaker was involved with the editing which shows her dedication to her craft as she clearly was in the middle of a brain aneurysm but still soldiers on
My name is Detective harry hole yes its my real name
This movie sounds like insanity
Mitchell!
I thought this was old Michael Keaton movie. I wish I never saw this, I lost alot of respect for Magneto.
Awfully good movies babes in toy land 1986 with young Keanu reeves
Ps woah
I actually tried reviewing that movie last year, but I was in a really bad place in my life last Christmas and I couldn't do a holiday special. Thankfully, I'm a lot better now, so perhaps I could do that one for real. Still pursuing my options on that episode.
These are great.
He wasnt really his uncle of course!
The Snowman is ridiculous. Definitely so bad it's good terrain
Yea,any interest in the movie melted away when I found out the protagonist name is Harry Hole😂😂
Watches this last night. I didn't know about the book or series. I just stopped to see if anyone else felt like this thing approached the line of good movie to frequently say screw that.
I have a crippling fear of Norwegians because of experience I had about a year ago
@Gary Hall met one that was the ultimate exsample of toxic masculinity.
@Gary Hall yeah I would here a story from some dumbass on the Internet
I love this movie man
I watched the movie and I did not find it as bad as so many are saying.
The overall movie had the suspense and drama but the end really looked botched which was disappointing.
Not every film needs to be a blockbuster sensation.
The movie is like Ikea furniture
movie was horrible, books though are absolutely EPIC
The book has so much potential to be a good movie
This is so saddddd
Fassbinder was good in this movie, but the serial killer parts of the story was just terrible. I liked that it's in Norway..snowy cold Norway
Book was actually very good and quite different from the movie.
I think this movie was totally misunderstood.
Thank God I skipped this movie.
Sad , cause the book was really great
Skip to 1:18 😙
Dudes crazy. Trying to make it look like some psycho did it up
I was scratching my head all through this movie.
I wanted to like it but…..it was messy. It was all over the place I thought. 😮
Val kilmers bad over-dub….🙄
And the popcorn song threw me for a loop 😮
But, is it as good as Terminator Dark fate?
ive been watching these for 40 hours straight.........my eyes are red ........ this was the only funny one.
I like Jonas Karlsson
I saw this movie in the 5 dollar bin .